Rat Race (2001)
Jon Lovitz: Randy Pear
Photos
Quotes
-
Jason Pear : I can't believe it, Dad. You stole Adolf Hitler's Mercedes-Benz.
Randy Pear : Well, Hitler had it comin'. What goes around comes around.
Kimberly Pear : Dad, they're gonna be pissed.
Randy Pear : Eh, they're always pissed, Honey. They're Nazis. It's like it's their job.
-
Bev Pear : Your daughter has to go to the bathroom!
Randy Pear : All right, all right, Jason, look in the back for an empty jar.
Bev Pear : A jar? Girls don't pee in jars.
Randy Pear : Oh, right. Sorry. Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel.
-
Enrico Pollini : Am I too late? Look! I won a coin, a gold coin! Oh, isn't this wonderful? Look at this room, what a beautiful room, have you seen this room?
Randy Pear : Yes! We're in it!
-
Kimberly Pear : [Kimberly needs to go to the bathroom] Dad, I'm prairie dogging it!
Randy Pear : What the hell does that mean?
Jason Pear : You know, like when a prairie dog sticks his head in and out of the ground.
Randy Pear : Oh.
[Five seconds later]
Bev Pear : Ugh!
Randy Pear : Ohh, god, I do not wanna picture that!
-
[Bikers are hitting the car that Randy stole from the Barbie museum]
Randy Pear : Are you insane? This is Hitler's car.
-
Randy Pear : Jason, where did you get that?
Jason Pear : I found it under the seat.
Randy Pear : Give it to me. You can't play that.
Jason Pear : Why not?
Randy Pear : Because it's Hitler's harmonica. You can't play Hitler's harmonica.
Jason Pear : You're driving his car!
Randy Pear : Yes, but I'm not touching it with my mouth. I'm not sucking on the dashboard. I'm not getting his germs!
-
[Talking about Sinclair and his idea for them competing in the "race"]
Merrill : It's some sort of joke. It has to be.
Duane Cody : What kind of jackass just gives away $2 million?
Owen Templeton : Maybe it's a publicity stunt.
Randy Pear : What kind of publicity? He swore us all to secrecy.
Vera Baker : Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt.
Randy Pear : A *secret* publicity stunt?
-
[to the woman on the motorcycle driving next to him]
Randy Pear : Hi, I really like your dike... Bike.
-
Skinhead Tour Guide : [talking about Klaus Barbie] Barbie joined the SS in 1935, where he soon became one of the Führer's favorite young officers.
Jason Pear : Uh, can we go?
Bev Pear : Shh-shh.
Skinhead Tour Guide : ...given a very big responsibility.
Skinhead Tour Guide : Here we see him standing beside Hitler's touring car, the very same car which can be seen on display outside in our courtyard.
[the Pears start to walk towards the exit]
Skinhead Tour Guide : You're leaving?
Randy Pear : What?
[laughs]
Randy Pear : [nervously] No - Yes, well, we have a 4:30 book burning... and then we have a...
Bev Pear : Another christening.
Randy Pear : Yes, a christening... for another one of our many, white, Christian, non-Jewish, uh... friends...
Bev Pear : Family.
Randy Pear : Family, relatives...
Bev Pear : Blood relatives.
Randy Pear : The Himmler... Himmler-Hesse... von... Sturichenbergs.
-
Randy Pear : [confessing to his family] It's a race. We're racing. Donald Sinclair put $2 million in a locker. And I want to get there first. I do not want to work at Home Depot!
-
Randy Pear : I do not want to work at Home Depot!