- Lola: [looks horrified] Burgundy. Please, God, tell me I have not inspired something burgundy. Red. Red. *Red*. *Red*, Charlie boy. *Red*! Is the color of sex! Burgundy is the color of hot water bottles! Red is the color of sex and fear and danger and signs that say, Do. Not. Enter. All my favorite things in life.
- Lola: [about her father] He wouldn't talk to me. Even when he got lung cancer. So it's ironic, really. Fags got him in the end.
- Big Mike: Well, you wouldn't put a frock on. If you don't want to get off with blokes, why put a frock on?
- Lola: Thing is, Mike, ask any woman what she likes most in a man. Compassion, tenderness, sensitivity. Traditionally the female virtues. Perhaps what women secretly desire is a man who is fundamentally a woman.
- Lauren: Lola, you're gonna have to excuse Charlie. We don't have many transvestites in Northampton.
- Lola: I'm not merely a transvestite, sweetheart. I'm also a drag queen. It's a simple equation. A drag queen puts on a frock, looks like Kylie. A transvestite puts on a frock, looks like... Boris Yeltsin in lipstick. There, I said it.
- Lola: I have to warn you, Charlie from Northampton, I have a terrible habit of doing exactly the opposite of what people want of me.
- Lola: [When looking at the first sample boot created by the Price & Sons company] Please, God! Tell me I have not inspired something burgundy!
- Charlie Price: But they're comfy.
- Lola: [after Lola had accidentally put the sample boot onto the loudspeaker microphone button] SEX, shouldn't be comfy!
- Mel: Thank God, I thought it was just me!
- Lola: Put on a frock and I can sing 'Stand by Your Man' in front of five hundred strangers... Put on a pair of jeans and I can't even sodding well say hello.
- Charlie Price: [Announcing to the employees] You are making 2.5 feet of irresistible, tubular, SEX!
- Charlie Price: ...any questions?
- [about every employee present raises hands]
- Charlie Price: [describing his plans to make boots for drag queens] The factory that started the century providing a range of footwear for men will go into the next century providing footwear for... a range of men.
- Lola: [regarding his broken boot heel] Like most things in life, they cannot stand the weight of a man.
- Lola: Northampton
- Charlie Price: Northampton
- Milan Organiser: Northampton, Northampton, Northampton
- Harold Price: Northhhhhampton
- Don: Kentucky?
- Charlie Price: I was thinking, that, you should... If you haven't got anything else on, that maybe you could come back to, ah...
- Lauren: To your house ?
- Charlie Price: The factory. I'm going to need someone on the web to research markets, and, if Pat got on some of those websites, I think she'd have a heart attack. Besides, you started it, being in that strop.
- Lauren: Oh well, I mean, I just had the strop, Charlie. You saw the idea. And that is why some of us end up with names above the factories and others just on clocking-in cards. Right.
- Charlie Price: Well, as someone with their name on a factory can I invite you to have your name on one of my clocking-in cards ?
- [Lauren smiles]
- Lola: I gave up the provinces years ago Charlie, and I've just been reminded why: Lola doesn't do North
- Charlie Price: Northampton's the Midlands
- Lola: NO Charlie; Tot'n'am Court Road is the Midlands