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Dave
Lister is yer archetypal slobby pal and the only surviving
member of the Human race.  He
is the sort of guy that can both turn your stomach
and at the same time fill you with admiration.
He is in complete contrast to the personality of Rimmer
and is played magnificently by the amazing Craig Charles.
If
you were to meet him in a pub, Lister would be eating a meat pie
with a lighted cigarette sticking out of his ear while winning
a farting contest between himself and his pals (plus a couple
of ladies whom he would have persuaded to join in).
 Although
he is almost ten years older, Lister’s character has changed
little since the very first episode (called ‘The
End’) in which he was confined to the Stasis
chamber for illegally smuggling on board his pet cat. He was only
supposed to spend 18 months in stasis, but following a fatal error
by Rimmer in the repair
of the ships Drive Plate all the crew suffered a fatal dose of
Cadmium II radiation. It took 3 million years before the radiation
had reached a safe level and Holly,
the ships computer, felt it safe to let Lister out.
The
shocking news about his friends being 3 million years dead was
compounded when he remembered the ships navigation officer, Christine
Kochanski. He’d always fancied her (and
even dated her for a few weeks). His dream of taking her
and his pet cat to Fiji to start a farm was now impossible.
Lister
was an orphan left under a pool table in Liverpool. Stranger still,
his real father was Lister and his mother was Kochanski!
Erm.... Kochanski (from another dimension) asked Lister
to collect some of his sperm in a self-gamut mixing invitro tube!
(see OUROBORUS). All
she needs to do is pop it in the machine and "Bingo"
out pops their child. Eighteen months later, Lister returns back
in time to the Egbeth Arms in Liverpool with and OUROBOROS box
(the name of a battery manufacturing company) containing
his baby. He lovingly places the box containing his baby under
the pool table and says, "For a long time, you’ll
think that you were abandoned. You were put here to create a paradox,
a unbreakable circle, with us going round and round in time, the
human race can never become extinct. We’re like a kind of
holding pan. I’ll see you son."
 The
baby Lister was adopted by a gruesome looking woman that he affectionately
called his grandmother. The young Lister however, was a rather
precocious teenager completely opposed to anything which was ‘crypto
Neo-fascist’ a term which he clearly didn’t
understand. He played for a short time in a band called ‘Smeg
and the Heads’ and their best song (called The Om Song)
was never released. He had a very short stay at art college
(97 minutes - the schedule was too hard) and worked as
a supermarket attendant (he left after seven years because
he didn’t want to get tied to a career). He joined the
Jupiter Mining Corporation on the ship ‘Red
Dwarf’ as the assistant to the technician Rimmer,
a job he detested. It seems that the only fun on Red Dwarf was
winding-up Rimmer at every possible opportunity (like the
time he replaced Rimmer's toothpaste with contraceptive jelly!).
Lister
had requested sick leave due to dioreah on no less that 500 different
occasions and the captain sincerely believed that his future promotion
prospects were zero!
 Lister
is a daddy! Erm… and a MUMMY!! In
a complicated and yet hilarious episode (better noted for
the song Tongue Tied) the Red Dwarf crew burst into another
dimension where they meet their opposites who are female (except
Cat, who meets a Dog). After a heavy drinking session, Lister
and his female double find that they have spent the night together
and realised that they also bonked! In this dimension however,
it is the MALE that gets pregnant and 9 months
later (back in his own dimension) Lister gives birth to Jim and
Bexley. He returns the children to their own dimension shortly
after. In Season 7 Lister is forced to marry a furry GELF!
But he manages to escape before having to perform him erm... duties.
Lister
has some amazing eating habits. A typical breakfast is Chicken
Vindaloo and Beer Milkshake, or cornflakes with grated raw onion
and Vindaloo sauce. The idea of no Indian Food to eat would drive
Lister crazy and has, on a number of occasions (as in the
episode Tikka to Ride)
got the crew in considerable trouble.
And yet, Lister does not attempt to be macho, indeed he often
likes to watch sad, romantic movies (as long as they don’t
have any parts played by Doug Maclure, whom he detests).
Lister's
hobby is playing his guitar. Unfortunately, though he believes
himself to be ‘a deva’ on the ol’frets, he is in
fact absolutely diabolical. The crew will
only allow him to practice is with a space suit on - in space.
Graphics and Sound files are in FREEStuff
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RED DWARF
