Are you a Kook?
17 commentsEver wondered why you keep getting called a kook? Here's a handy checklist for you to have a look through. If you are nodding your head a little too much as you read through the list, then you probably are a kook!
(Don't know what a kook is, check our surf dictionary)
You might be a kook if -
- you look in the mirror and see a surf god, even though you can't surf 1ft ankle slop.
- you change your leash foot several times in the first few minutes you're out.
- the surf shop attendant has to tell you that the kneepads should go at the front of your new zipperless wetsuit
- you spend 5 minutes trying to paddle out back, only to end up turning around and riding in the whitewater on your belly to shore and calling it a day in your beach chair with a beer.
- if you spend every session standing in waist high water with surfboard floating beside you, and jump on the board and paddle frantically when a thigh high wave comes. You then spend the the evening describing all the barrels you caught.
- you tell everyone the bandage on your head was a result of an overhead wipeout, but really you slipped off when popping up because you didn't wax your board.
- you finish your ride on top of a toddlers sand castle half way up the beach.
- you try to paddle outback over an oncoming wave only to not make it over the top and flip backwards.
- you flinch when you see your leash slithering out of the corner of your eye… thinking its an eel or snake.
- you as a beginner go out with 60 km/h wind and with overhead waves.
- you prance around on the beach and pretend you're a really good surfer, but are really afraid of the water.
- you ride a surfboard, but every ride is on your belly.
- you've had a board for eighteen months, and it's never seen surf wax.
You don't have to be a kook just because you lack surfing ability. If you are honest about your abilities when talking to surfers at a break, or posting on our surf forum, and you are respectful to other surfers in the lineup, you're no kook.
Feel free to add to the list by posting a comment below.
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If you snake a kook, does that make you a kook?
No they deserved it for being a kook
How about if you tried to surf, got forced to buy a short board by a pro surfer friend, decided you don't like short boarding because you can't keep your balance because you are a tall guy, but aforementioned pro surfer friend insist on you going surfing with him even though you know you suck and get embarrassed for it and long boarding is much more easier and fun?
if you paddle to the shoulder when paddling back out strait into the line of an on coming surfer. Just go under the wash much safer than being run over. Kooks seem to have death wishes. Maybe that is why the number of surfers in australia has risen. To many suicidal pale people that need to go back to the flags for a swim.
ATTENTION: you know you are a kook when you have short black hair (or any dark colour) and paddle out with your chin touching the board, you paddle for many waves but for some reason all the waves you paddle for don't break for another 45 seconds, you paddle differently to other people and many random people give you a disquting stare for reason you are not yet sure about. The good news is that you will learn and when that time comes, you will look back on your past self and cringe
You a kook if you constantly going the wrong direction on the wave.
what if you're just a learner aha
A super kook surfs with his or her legs spread wide like back foot on tail and front foot on nose and moves the whole body back and forth to get across the wave and crouches right down
your a kook if you came to jersey for the day from philly to surf.
I AM THE KOOK COMMANDER !
Remember this face !
:'(
Only use your two Duct taped boogie boards with pvc pipe between the noses while surfboards look pretty on vehicle. Fins the correct direction :0
Really enjoyed the article, i have to say im a beginner and pretty sure i havent done all the things on the list but its a long summer in fl
If you bunch or roll up your zipper string in the back of you neck Velcro does it bug? Is just leaving it hang ever cause any issues?
You are a kook if you surfed 30 years...and snake other barneys learning, your a kook if you try n act like Slater at ur local break cause u know the waves, your a kook if your attitude sucks and your too old to be stinking eye a 20 year old. Your a kook if u dont respect line up, othrr surfers, or help out anyone else in teouble....kook isnt just about new guys...its about attitude....stoke. Socalstonepusher
You’re a kook when you drop in on someone and they hoot and you look like your pulling out but do an aerial and they have to kick out. And you ding my new biscuit at boneyards in 2010.
You’re a kook if you care about being a kook. I.e the person who wrote this article.
Doing a bad looking cannonball off the board to finish a nice ride...
Yep I’ve done almost all of these. Made me laugh. But that’s how you learn, and the ocean will humble you.