Would anyone know about these if not for "MST3K"?
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- DirectorKenneth J. BertonStarsErnest BorgnineGeorge MilanBunny SummersTwo creepy "horror" films joined together by Merlin's Shop which is, in turn, introduced by a Grandpa telling the story.Ernest Borgnine stars in a movie that appears to be made half in the '80s, half in the '90s.
- DirectorJoe D'AmatoStarsMiles O'KeeffeLisa FosterDavid BrandonMuscle-bound Ator and his mute East Asian sidekick travel from the ends of the earth to save his aged mentor from the evil, mustachioed Zor.How much Keefe is in this movie?
- DirectorColeman FrancisStarsKevin CaseyEric TomlinAnthony CardozaA woman seeks revenge on her former lover, who owns a skydiving business.Don't worry if you didn't understand the plot. I sure didn't.
- DirectorWill ZensStarsRobert DornanRichard JordahlShirley OlmsteadA young Air Force lieutenant falls in love with fighter planes while his father, a Congressman and war hero, yearns for him to fly heavy bombers.And I thought that Bob Dornan was vile as a congressman!
- DirectorLee SholemStarsTommy KirkDel MoorePeter DuryeaA group of swingin' teens take time out from having fun in the sun to try to foil a group of crooks searching for a stolen scroll.It's a beach party movie. What did you expect? Still, I liked Crow's pun about the Greek guy's name.
- DirectorHarold P. WarrenStarsTom NeymanJohn ReynoldsDiane AdelsonA family gets lost on the road and stumbles upon a hidden, underground, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his servant Torgo.All hands, no brains.
- DirectorBill RebaneStarsSteve BrodieBarbara HaleRobert EastonGiant spiders from another dimension invade Wisconsin.The Skipper calls someone other than Gilligan "little buddy".
- DirectorGreydon ClarkStarsSylvia AndersonLieu ChinhJacqulin ColeSix sexy women, and a teenage girl, devastate a right-wing militia before doing battle with ruthless drug pushers.Note to the Skipper and Mr. Howell: stay on the island!
- DirectorRay KelloggStarsDon SullivanFred GrahamLisa SimoneA giant lizard terrorizes a rural Texas community and a heroic teenager attempts to destroy the creature.OK, so there was some good music.
- DirectorFritz BöttgerStarsHarald MareschHelga FranckAlexander D'ArcySurvivors of a plane crash on a remote island find it is covered by spiders. When bitten, the survivors start turning into spiders!Taking place on a Pacific island, it was filmed in Yugoslavia.
- DirectorBert I. GordonStarsRichard CarlsonSusan GordonLugene SandersA man lets a former flame fall to her death rather than let her interfere with his new relationship, but her ghost returns to disrupt his impending nuptials.Lloyd, you're the best bartender from Timbuktu to Portland, Maine. Or Portland, Oregon, for that matter.
- DirectorRalph BrookeStarsWilton GraffJune KenneyWalter BrookeA crazed hunter kidnaps people and turns them loose on his private estate, where he hunts them for sport.I spent all those years wondering what Robert Reed did before he was the "Brady Bunch" dad.
- DirectorRobert F. SlatzerStarsRoss HagenDee DuffySharyn KinzieThe brother and fiancee of a dead policeman infiltrate a female-led biker gang to uncover his murderer.Emphasis on the hell part.
- DirectorGus TrikonisStarsRoss HagenDiane McBainMichael PatakiMotorcycle racer Rommel seeks vengeance against JC, a madman who murdered the sidehacker's fiancee.Enough to make anyone NOT want to motorcycle.
- DirectorEijirô WakabayashiStarsTatsuo UmemiyaHiroko MineTakashi KandaWhen an alien force tries to invade Earth to steal a powerful new rocket fuel, a mysterious hero intervenes.Japan is supposed to be a LOT better than this.
- DirectorArch Hall Sr.StarsArch Hall Jr.Marilyn ManningRichard KielTeenagers stumble across a prehistoric caveman, who goes on a rampage.Richard Kiel was just getting started, so we can forgive him.
- DirectorGiorgio FerroniStarsRay DantonMargaret LeeCarlo D'AngeloA series of murders in Michigan lead an American secret agent to Amsterdam, where he uncovers a plot to imperil the world with a potent new drug.Was it Crow or Servo who proposed the Edie Adams Fan Club?
- DirectorTom GraeffStarsDavid LoveDawn BenderBryan GrantA young alien and a teenage earthling fall in love, and plot to stop the alien's race from using Earth as a food-breeding ground for giant lobsters from their planet.They looked older than teenagers.
- DirectorMerle S. GouldStarsAldo FarneseScott DouglasLaura BrockA psychic researcher attempts to solve a murder by using a radio that enables him to speak with the dead.Who cast Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?
- DirectorBernard L. KowalskiStarsKen ClarkYvette VickersJan ShepardA backwoods game warden and a local doctor discover that giant leeches are responsible for disappearances and deaths in a local swamp, but the local police don't believe them.Hicks vs. bloodsuckers: 0
People laughing with the Satellite of Love crew: infinity - DirectorRick SloaneStarsTom BartlettPaige SullivanSteven BoggsA young security guard must track down diminutive aliens who kill people even as they make their fantasies come true.What do you call a ripoff of a ripoff?
- DirectorRay Dennis StecklerStarsRay Dennis StecklerBrett O'HaraAtlas KingJerry falls in love with a stripper he meets at a carnival. Little does he know that she is the sister of a gypsy fortune teller whose predictions he had scoffed at earlier. The gypsy turns him into a zombie and he goes on a killing spree.No identifiable plot, but Sharon Walsh is a real looker.
