Jim "Lucky" Moore (Allan Jones), an insurance salesman, comes up with a novel policy for his friend, Steve (Robert Cummings): a 'love insurance policy', that will pay out $1-million if Steve does not marry his fiancee, Cynthia (Nancy Kelly). The upcoming marriage is jeopardized by Steve's ex-girlfriend, Mickey (Peggy Moran), and Cynthia's disapproving Aunt Kitty. The policy is underwritten by a nightclub owner, Roscoe (William Frawley), who sends two enforcers - Abbott and Costello - to ensure that the wedding occurs as planned. Everyone involved in the situation winds up sailing or flying to San Marcos (a fictional South American country), where another complication arises, when Lucky falls for Cynthia. Lucky winds up marrying Cynthia, but Roscoe does not have to pay the $1-million because Steve ends up marrying Mickey.

Two sidewalk salesman enlist in the army in order to avoid jail, only to find that their drill instructor is the police officer who tried having them imprisoned.

Russ Raymond, America's number one crooner, disappears and joins the Navy under the name Tommy Halstead. Dorothy Roberts, a magazine journalist, is intent on finding out what happened to Russ and she tries everything she can to get a picture of him to prove he's Russ Raymond. Tommy's friends, Pomeroy Watson and Smokey Adams,help him while Pomeroy writes love letters to Patty Andrews. But because Smokey makes Pomeroy lie about himself in the letters, and when Patty comes to the Navy base, she's furious at Pomeroy. When Pomeroy, Smokey, Tommy and the Andrews sisters set sail for Hawaii, Pomeroy discovers there's a tomato in the potato locker, and she's been snapping shots of Tommy the whole trip. Whether Pomeroy's proving that 7 x 13 = 28 - three different ways, having Smokey help him play ship captain for Patty, or falling out of his hammock, it's an Abbott and Costello classic.

After inheriting a fortune from a gangster, two dim-witted service station attendants find themselves stranded in a haunted house.

When a barnstorming stunt pilot joins the Air Corps, his two goofball assistants decide to go with him.

Two peanut vendors at a traveling rodeo show get in trouble with their boss and hide out on a railroad train heading west. They get jobs as cowboys on a dude ranch, despite the fact that both know nothing about cowboys, horses, or much of anything.

Doc and Wishey run into some Nazi-agents, who want to smuggle bombs into the USA from a Mexican border hotel.

A pair of bus drivers accidentally steal their own bus. With the company issuing a warrant for their arrest, they tag along with a playboy on a boat trip that finds them on a tropical island, where a jewel thief has sinister plans for them.

Two dumb soda jerks dream of writing radio mysteries. When they try to pitch an idea at a radio station, they end up in the middle of a real murder after the station owner is killed during a broadcast.

The horse of a street vendor is replaced by a racehorse.

Two newspaper photographers get mixed up with gangsters at a ski resort.

Two bumbling plumbers are hired by a socialite to fix a leak. A case of mistaken identity gets the pair an invitation to a fancy party and an entree into high society. As expected, things don't go too smoothly.

Two bumbling magicians help a Middle Eastern prince regain his rightful throne from his despotic uncle.

Two bumblers become caretakers at an all-girls' college. During their misadventures, the duo raise money to free the school from its traditionally-minded landlord.

When their captain is swindled out of his riverboat by a trio of gamblers, stage show star Abbott and his bumbling sidekick Costello must put things right.

When two bumbling barbers act as agents for a talented but unknown singer, they stage a phony murder in order to get him a plum role.

Lou Costello plays a country bumpkin vacuum-cleaner salesman, working for the company run by the crooked Bud Abbott. To try to keep him under his thumb, Abbott convinces Costello that he's a crackerjack salesman. This comedy is somewhat like The Time of Their Lives (1946), in that Abbott and Costello don't have much screen time together and there are very few vaudeville bits woven into the plot.

A psychiatrist stays in a mansion haunted by prankish ghosts from the Revolutionary War.

Two ex-soldiers return from overseas--one of them having smuggled into the country a French orphan girl he has become attached to. They wind up running into their old sergeant--who hates them--and getting involved with a race-car builder who's trying to find backers for a new midget racer he's building.

Chester Wooley (Lou Costello) and Duke Egan (Bud Abbott) are traveling salesmen who make a stopover in Wagon Gap, Montana en route to California. During the stopover, notorious criminal Fred Hawkins is murdered and the two are charged with the crime. They are quickly tried, convicted, and sentenced to die by hanging. The head of the local citizens' committee, Jim Simpson (William Ching), recalls a law whereby the survivor of a gun duel must take responsibility for the deceased's debts and family. The law spares the two from execution, but Chester is now responsible for the widow Hawkins (Marjorie Main) and her seven children. They go to her farm, where she works Chester from dawn to dusk, and at night he must work at the saloon to repay Hawkins' debt to its owner, Jake Frame (Gordon Jones). Her plan is to wear Chester down until he agrees to marry her. Chester quickly learns that no one will harm him, for fear that they will need to support Mrs. Hawkins and her family. Simpson makes Chester the sheriff hoping that fear of him will help clean up the lawless town. For protection, Chester carries around a photograph of Mrs. Hawkins and her kids. The approach works for a while, and Chester is heralded as a hero. Meanwhile, Duke still plans to go to California and tries to get Judge Benbow (George Cleveland) to marry Mrs. Hawkins to free him and Chester from their obligations. He starts a rumor that Mrs. Hawkins is about to become rich once the railroad buys her land to lay tracks. The rumor spreads quickly, and everyone tries to kill Chester hoping to marry Mrs. Hawkins(and share, or manage, her expected fortune). Frame eventually confesses to Hawkins' murder; Duke and Chester are cleared and allowed to leave town, but not before they admit that they fabricated the railroad rumor. Benbow still wants to marry Mrs. Hawkins, and she agrees. She then announces that the railroad actually did offer her substantial money, and she is now wealthy.

Two window washers mistakenly receive, and lose, $50,000 belonging to a shady bookie, and have only forty-eight hours to retrieve the money.

The Wolf Man tries to warn a dimwitted porter that Dracula wants his brain for Frankenstein monster's body.

Two con men selling phony stock flee to Mexico ahead of the law, where they run into a woman friend from their earlier days, who is now a bullfighter.

Two booksellers search for diamonds in Africa, along the way meeting a visually-impaired gunner, a hungry lion, and a tribe of cannibals.

Two employees of a secluded hotel investigate a murder on the premises in which the goofy bellboy is the prime suspect.