Congratulations to the makers of "The Perfect Score"! Your movie is no longer the worst of 2004 so far.
"Welcome To Mooseport" is the laziest, limpest, weakest, lamest, most lifeless and utterly useless excuse for a motion picture I've seen in many months.
There is literally not one second that is remotely entertaining, let alone inspired or interesting. Even the worst movies ("Bad Boys II" for instance, one of the worst I've ever seen) usually have SOMETHING that slightly grabs your interest, if only for 2 seconds. "Welcome To Mooseport" though, is flatline from first frame to last. It's like they didn't even try.
The premise is clever: it's basically about a former U.S. President (Gene Hackman) moving to the small town of Mooseport (which is of course packed with stereotypically "quirky" and "colorful" townspeople) and running for mayor against a popular local schmoe (Ray Romano). This would be a fine starting point for a good political satire, but instead it turns out to be probably the single dumbest movie about politics I've ever seen. If a 10 year-old wrote a screenplay about politics it would be more realistic. I know it's a comedy, and that it's not supposed to be serious, but it has no reason to be so glaringly stupid and predictable either. As a "political comedy" it should at least seem like the writers have watched "The Daily Show" once.
The President character is an obvious combination of Bill Clinton (popular, charming, cocky) and George W. Bush (obnoxious and shallow). Romano's character is of course the goofy Everyman, the likable slob, and to further demonstrate the third-grade level of writing here, we know we're supposed to root for him because his clothes don't match and he has a funny name (Handy Harrison, sigh).
In addition to Hackman and Romano, other good actors like Rip Torn, Marcia Gay Harden, Christine Baranski, Maura Tierney, and Edward Herrmann show up to embarrass themselves and waste our time as well as their own. The plot grinds along to the predictable conclusion as I take my mind elsewhere, check my watch every 10 minutes and fight to stay awake.
At least "Welcome To Mooseport" is friendly. It's not as ugly or offensive as "Bad Boys II" (which is the last movie I gave zero stars). However, a movie that is this uninspired, this much of a failure on every level, is offensive in its own way, no matter how genial it may be.
"Welcome To Mooseport" is the laziest, limpest, weakest, lamest, most lifeless and utterly useless excuse for a motion picture I've seen in many months.
There is literally not one second that is remotely entertaining, let alone inspired or interesting. Even the worst movies ("Bad Boys II" for instance, one of the worst I've ever seen) usually have SOMETHING that slightly grabs your interest, if only for 2 seconds. "Welcome To Mooseport" though, is flatline from first frame to last. It's like they didn't even try.
The premise is clever: it's basically about a former U.S. President (Gene Hackman) moving to the small town of Mooseport (which is of course packed with stereotypically "quirky" and "colorful" townspeople) and running for mayor against a popular local schmoe (Ray Romano). This would be a fine starting point for a good political satire, but instead it turns out to be probably the single dumbest movie about politics I've ever seen. If a 10 year-old wrote a screenplay about politics it would be more realistic. I know it's a comedy, and that it's not supposed to be serious, but it has no reason to be so glaringly stupid and predictable either. As a "political comedy" it should at least seem like the writers have watched "The Daily Show" once.
The President character is an obvious combination of Bill Clinton (popular, charming, cocky) and George W. Bush (obnoxious and shallow). Romano's character is of course the goofy Everyman, the likable slob, and to further demonstrate the third-grade level of writing here, we know we're supposed to root for him because his clothes don't match and he has a funny name (Handy Harrison, sigh).
In addition to Hackman and Romano, other good actors like Rip Torn, Marcia Gay Harden, Christine Baranski, Maura Tierney, and Edward Herrmann show up to embarrass themselves and waste our time as well as their own. The plot grinds along to the predictable conclusion as I take my mind elsewhere, check my watch every 10 minutes and fight to stay awake.
At least "Welcome To Mooseport" is friendly. It's not as ugly or offensive as "Bad Boys II" (which is the last movie I gave zero stars). However, a movie that is this uninspired, this much of a failure on every level, is offensive in its own way, no matter how genial it may be.