Universal put out three Flash Gordon chapter plays, in 1936, 1938

and 1940; but despite the larger budgets of the latter two, the first

is the by far the most fun; its successors are pale in comparison,

although the Clay People of Series II are certainly worth while. I

loved the 1936 serial dearly when I was five years old, seeing it on

TV; and I still retain a good deal of affection for it, even now when I

am old enough to be aware of the cardboard sets, ridiculous

dialogue and frequent lapses of taste. Who cares? Flash's

adventures have nothing to do with outer space and are largely

medieval, as this 1930s art deco Siegfried battles shark men,

hawk men, and cheesy rubber dragons. Buster Crabbe is ideal,

and Charles Middleton positively believes he IS Ming the

Merciless. Then there is Princess Aura. I don't know about the rest

of you male types out there, but if I were Flash I would have

dumped Dale for Priscilla Lawson's voluptuous princess by

Episode Two. Besides the perfectly obvious fact that she would be

vastly more fun in bed, consider: When Flash is in horrible danger,

what does Dale do? She faints, or gets hypnotised. Aura,

meanwhile, has swiped a rocket ship, bribed the guards, found a

cache of weapons, and is actively doing her best to rescue the

guy. She saves Flash's butt from certain horrible death about every

other episode, but does the big lunk appreciate it? Oh well. Even

when I was five I was dimly aware that there was some reason I

wanted her to take me home with her... and above all, there's

Frank Shannon's Zarkov. "You are a remarkable man. I can use

you" says Emperor Ming; and what Zarkov doesn't say, but is

clearly thinking, is: "and I can use a blithering mad emperor with

unlimited power and a fantastic laboratory"! My favorite dialogue in

the whole serial comes in Episode One. Zarkov and Flash have

just met, and Zarkov explains that the Earth's only hope of survival

is his home built rocket ship. "Sure this thing will work?" asks

Flash, after they've come aboard. "I've experimented with models"

Zarkov replies. "Ah," responds Flash; "They ever come back?" With

perfect equanimity Zarkov says "They weren't supposed to." Now,

there's a REAL Mad Scientist after my own heart! Zarkov routinely

invents the impossible on five minutes notice, from invisibility rays

to anti-gravitons. The whole thing is so absurd it's magnificent, so

hokey it's colossal. It's for the precocious five-year-old in us all.