Shall We Dance (1937)

Edward Everett Horton: Jeffrey Baird

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeffrey Baird : [picks up phone]  Hello?

  Cecil Flintridge : Oh, hello, Jeffrey. Yes, are you there?

  Jeffrey Baird : Of course I'm here.

  Cecil Flintridge : Now don't shout at me - I'm in jail.

  Jeffrey Baird : Well, that's all right; we don't need you.

  Cecil Flintridge : I'm in jail for battery, and I want you to get me out. I'm at the Susquehannah Street Jail . . . Susquehannah! Susquehannah - S-U-S-Q-U-Q! Q! You know, the thing you play billiards with . . . Billiards! B-I-L-L-

  Policeman at Jail : What is this, a spelling bee?

  Cecil Flintridge : Ahem. No, "L" for larynx. L-A-R-Y . . . N-No, not "M", N! . . . "N" as in neighbor! Neighbor, N-E-I-G-H-B--B! B! Bzzz. Bzzz. You know, the stinging insect! Insect! I-N-S-S! S, for symbol. S-Y . . . Y! Y!

  Jeffrey Baird : Well, why? Don't ask me "why."

  Cecil Flintridge : Look, Jeffrey. I'm in jail. W-wait a minute. What jail did you say this was?

  Policeman at Jail : Susquehannah Street Jail.

  Cecil Flintridge : Thank you, indeed. Thank you very much. I'm in the Substi--The Subset-Jeffrey, listen closely . . . Do you know where the Oak Street Jail is? You do? Fine. I'll have them transfer me there in the morning!

• Arthur Miller : What does your watch say?

  Jeffrey Baird : It says, "Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick."

• Arthur Miller : You only had one drink.

  Jeffrey Baird : Yes, but you kept filling it.

• Jeffrey Baird : [after finding Peter tap-dancing]  What were you doing?

  Peter P. Peters : Oh, just having fun.

  Jeffrey Baird : The great Petrov doesn't dance for fun!

  Peter P. Peters : Maybe not, but I do. Pete Peters, remember me?

  Jeffrey Baird : Oh, that awful name of yours!

  Peter P. Peters : I dunno, I kinda like it! Peter P. Peters, Philadelphia, PA.

  [Does short dance step] 

  Jeffrey Baird : How do you make that exasperating noise? What have you got on those shoes?

  Peter P. Peters : Taps.

  Jeffrey Baird : Taps! On your ballet shoes!

  Peter P. Peters : Aw, but Jeff, I haven't neglected anything! Observe! The Entrechat Trois!

  [Does ballet step] 

  Jeffrey Baird : Lovely! Beautiful!

  Peter P. Peters : But how much more effective it is this way!

  [Does tap variation on ballet step] 

• Jeffrey Baird : [after newspaper boy yells at him in French]  What does that mean in English?

  French Hall man : The same thing it means in French, Monsieur.