- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: You're too modest. Why, you're a woman of great depths, depths that have never been plumbed.
- Gladys Benton: [referring to her boyfriend] No, Warren's not much of a plumber.
- Warren Haggerty: Do you want me to kill myself, Gladys?
- Gladys Benton: Not until you change your insurance.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: [referring to the sham wedding just performed] How much do I owe you?
- Mr. H.O. Dibson - Justice of the Peace: Well, anything you think it's worth.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: [Handing the Justice money] There's two dollars.
- [Gladys looks outraged, then disgusted]
- Curtis Farwood: You fired him.
- Warren Haggerty: Yes, and I'd do it again. Spending half his time with chorus girls and the other half trying to get away from them. A vaudeville actor turned newspaperman trying to run this paper. Thought he knew more.
- Curtis Farwood: And He was right!
- Warren Haggerty: But he's still the only man I know that women can't resist.
- Curtis Farwood: All right, then, get him. Get him!
- Curtis Farwood: What's Chandler doing in Denver?
- Warren Haggerty: Same thing he always does - but in a higher altitude.
- Curtis Farwood: What do you propose to do?
- Warren Haggerty: Well, she's a girl and, despite all reports, probably human. I'm gonna throw a man at her.
- Curtis Farwood: Men have been at Connie Allenbury for years.
- Warren Haggerty: Yes, yes, at her feet. But I'm going to throw this guy at her head.
- Curtis Farwood: Are you suggesting a frame?
- Warren Haggerty: I'm suggesting nothing. But you've gotta get to this girl and I've got the guy who specializes in dames.
- Warren Haggerty: What's she suing for?
- Curtis Farwood: Two million dollars.
- Warren Haggerty: She's nuts! Two million dollars? Why, a dame's whole anatomy is only worth 98 cents - boiled down.
- Warren Haggerty: Have you ever said to a redhead, "So long, it's been nice knowing you"?
- Spike Dolan: So long? I've never even said hello to one.
- Warren Haggerty: Well, you keep it that way.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Now, here's the plan. The Allenburys are in Mexico City. I'll take a plane down there, register at the same hotel, meet the girl. Perhaps she comes to my room.
- Warren Haggerty: What?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Just for a cocktail, of course. All perfectly innocent to her, to me, to everybody at the hotel - except to our private detective who wires my wife.
- Warren Haggerty: You got a wife?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Well, not of my own, but we'll hire some attractive girl to marry me.
- Gladys Benton: [singing] And when we do the Continental Polka, Every heart of every garter snatches your eye...
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I know all about he: spoiled, arrogant, engaged to a different guy every month. The crown princess of Café Society. That's her reputation. And she thinks it's worth 2 million? When I get through, she'll take 2 cents - in Japanese money.
- Spike Dolan: Maybe he's dead.
- Warren Haggerty: It would be just like that guy to drop dead at a time like this.
- Spike Dolan: That Allenbury girl is as pretty as a picture and I accentuate - the positive.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Yeah and that's the little picture we're gonna frame.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Not bad.
- Warren Haggerty: Not bad at all.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Nice legs.
- Warren Haggerty: You keep her legs out of it.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: They come with her, don't they?
- Connie Allenbury: I don't wish to have my picture taken.
- Spike Dolan: Well, that's tough, Toots, but I've already taken it.
- Gladys Benton: [to Warren] I've taken plenty from you but this is the end. Marrying me off to another guy, to this blond baboon.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Baboons are very smart. They can do anything a man can do.
- J.B. Allenbury: You finally got here. What happened to those people from Los Angeles?
- Connie Allenbury: Oh, I ran out on them. I simply can't be bothered with people you meet in hotels.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I thought I was rather clever.
- Connie Allenbury: Yes, I thought you thought so.
- J.B. Allenbury: Yes, Muscovys have their points, but give me a Canadian honker. I know, my boy. I have a hunting lodge up in Canada and...
- Connie Allenbury: Father, shall we say duck?
- J.B. Allenbury: Duck.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Duck.
- Connie Allenbury: Duck.
- Headwaiter: Duck.
- Connie Allenbury: You're very much at home on the dance floor, aren't you?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: When I have a partner like you, yes. You're as light as thistledown.
- Connie Allenbury: Deceiving things, thistles. They're really quite prickly.
- Connie Allenbury: Mrs. Burns Norvell and her daughter, Barbara.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: How do you do?
- Barbara 'Babs' Norvell: Babs, to you.
- Warren Haggerty: Everything will be all right. You in there, he's in here. A door in between. Locked!
- Gladys Benton: Warren Haggerty, are you willing that I should stay here - your fiancée, the girl you love?
- Warren Haggerty: Will you please not worry, Gladys? I trust him like a brother.
- Gladys Benton: Well, he's not my brother.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I do hope you have daiquiri cocktails. They're my *favorite*.
- Barbara 'Babs' Norvell: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I only have champagne cocktails.
- Barbara 'Babs' Norvell: Oh, well, that's my *new* favorite.
- J.B. Allenbury: I know a first-class hunter when I see one. Yeah, and a first-class young man too.
- Connie Allenbury: Well, if he's first class, I'll travel steerage. Oh, why, of all the impossible, conceited, self-centered...
- J.B. Allenbury: Then why did you come up here? You had a weekend all planned at home, didn't you?
- Connie Allenbury: I had to protect my favorite father. You know, darling, you may know about bulls and bears, but I know about wolves.
- Connie Allenbury: What about those new togs, new gun, new decoys, new everything. He's after something all right, but it's not ducks.
- Connie Allenbury: Live and learn, says I, Connie, my pet. Next time, don't bet on men.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Don't apologize for suspecting people, Connie. Keep right on. Ring every coin you meet. There are lots of wooden nickels in circulation.
- Connie Allenbury: I'm a very remarkable girl.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I'm beginning to think you're right.
- Connie Allenbury: There are many sides to my nature, young man. Depths you little dream of.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: I'll make a study.
- Connie Allenbury: Do.
- Gladys Benton: Pour me another glass of bubbly.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Quote, "Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble," unquote. Macbeth.
- Gladys Benton: My grandfather's name was MacSweeney.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Oh, what's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
- Gladys Benton: That's my grandmother.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Who?
- Gladys Benton: Rose. Rose MacSweeney.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Oh, well, let's drink to the old girl.
- Gladys Benton: Let's just drink, period.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Come, my fair Ophelia. Let us down the sweet draught of Bacchus.
- Gladys Benton: What's that?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: That's Shakespeare for "bottoms up."
- Warren Haggerty: What do you think I was gonna pay you $50,000 for, to make love to my girl?
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: If the necessity arose, yes.
- Gladys Benton: I don't wanna play Ophelia. I wanna play Hamlet.
- William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler: Why?
- Gladys Benton: Because Hamlet wears tights and I'm terrific in tights. Did you ever see me in tights? I'm pretty.
- Connie Allenbury: Well, what is this, darling? I haven't seen you this worried since you took your first rumba lesson.