Strangers on a Train (1951)

Farley Granger: Guy Haines

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Quotes 

• Guy Haines : I may be old-fashioned, but I thought murder was against the law.

• Senator Morton : You had no trouble, of course, with the police once they verified your alibi?

  Guy Haines : When an alibi is full of bourbon, sir, it can't stand up.

• Bruno Anthony : When's the wedding?

  Guy Haines : The what?

  Bruno Anthony : The wedding. It's in the papers.

  Guy Haines : Well, it shouldn't be. Not unless they legalized bigamy overnight.

• Guy Haines : It's pretty late to start flirting with a discarded husband.

• [first lines] 

  Guy Haines : Oh, excuse me.

  Bruno Anthony : I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?

• Anne Morton : How did you get him to do it?

  Guy Haines : I... get him to do it?

  Anne Morton : Bruno Anthony. He killed Miriam, didn't he?

  [Guy stares at Anne, hesitating to answer] 

  Anne Morton : Tell me the truth. Didn't he?

  Guy Haines : Yes. He's a maniac. I met him a few weeks ago on the train going to Metcalf. Over some small talk and drinks, he came up with some crazy scheme about exchanging murders. I'd do his murder; he'd do mine.

  Anne Morton : What do you mean "your murder" Guy?

  Guy Haines : Bruno read about me in the newspapers. He knew all about me and Miriam... and about you. He suggested that if he got rid of Miriam for me, I should kill his father.

  Anne Morton : But you must have known he was only talking nonsense.

  Guy Haines : But he wasn't! He really wasn't joking about swapping murders! Of course I didn't give it another thought. And now a lunatic wants me to kill his father.

  Anne Morton : It's too fantastic.

  Guy Haines : Yes, isn't it?

  Anne Morton : You mean, you've known about Miriam all this time?

  Guy Haines : Since the first night. He gave me her glasses and told me what he did.

  Anne Morton : Why didn't you call the police? Why didn't you turn Bruno in right away?

  Guy Haines : And have them say to me what you just said? "Mr. Haines, how did you get him to do it? Confess, Mr. Haines! How did you get Bruno Anthony to murder your wife?" Bruno would have told them that we planned it together.

• Guy Haines : You crazy maniac! Would you please get out of here and leave me alone?

  Bruno Anthony : But Guy... I like you.

  [offended, Guy punches Bruno in the face] 

• Guy Haines : Doesn't that bloodhound ever relax? He sticks so close he's beginning to grow on me - like a fungus.

• Guy Haines : I don't think you know what you want.

  Bruno Anthony : Well, I want to do something, everything. You know, I've got a theory - that you should do everything before you die.

• Bruno Anthony : Sure, I went to college. I got kicked out of three of them. Drinking and gambling. Not like you, huh? All right, so I'm a bum.

  Guy Haines : Who said you were?

  Bruno Anthony : My father. He *hates* me. With all the money he's got, he thinks that I ought to catch the 8-5 bus every morning, punch a time clock somewhere and work my way up selling *paint* or something. Now, what do you think of a character like that?

  Guy Haines : Well, I think possibly...

  Bruno Anthony : Yes. I hate him too.

• Guy Haines : I guess I'm a little jittery.

  Bruno Anthony : Oh, I know a cure for that. Eh, waiter.

  Guy Haines : Yes, sir.

  Bruno Anthony : Scotch and plain water please. A pair. Doubles.

  [to Bruno] 

  Bruno Anthony : The only kind of doubles I play.

  Guy Haines : You'll have to drink both of them.

  Bruno Anthony : And I can do it.

• Bruno Anthony : Have you ever driven a car blindfolded at 150 miles an hour?

  Guy Haines : Not lately.

  Bruno Anthony : I did. I flew on a jet plane too. Man, that's a thrill! Almost blew the sawdust out of my head. And, I'm going to make a reservation on the first rocket to the moon.

• Bruno Anthony : That reminds me of a *wonderful* idea I had once. I used to put myself to sleep at night - figuring it out. Now, let's say that - that you'd like to get rid of your wife.

  Guy Haines : That's a morbid thought.

  Bruno Anthony : Oh, no, no, no, no. Just suppose. Let's say you had a very good reason.

  Guy Haines : No, let's - let's not say...

  Bruno Anthony : No, no! Let's say. Now, you'd be afraid to kill her. You'd get caught. And what would trip you up? The motive. Ah. Now here's my idea.

  Guy Haines : I'm afraid I haven't time to listen, Bruno.

  Bruno Anthony : Listen, it's so simple, too. Two fellows meet accidentally, like you and me. No connection between them at all. Never saw each other before. Each one has somebody he'd like to get rid of. So they swap murders.

  Guy Haines : Swap murders?

  Bruno Anthony : Each fellow does the other fellow's murder. Then there's nothing to connect them. Each one has murdered a total stranger. Like you do my murder and I do yours.

• Bruno Anthony : What did you say her name was? Your wife's?

  Guy Haines : Miriam.

  Bruno Anthony : Miram, that's it. Miriam Joyce Haines. I suppose she - played around a lot, huh?

  Guy Haines : Skip it, Bruno. It's kind of painful for a man to discover he's been a chump.

• Guy Haines : [long kiss]  Darling, you're trembling.

  Anne Morton : Guy, I wonder if you know how much I love you.

  Guy Haines : Brazen woman. I'm the one to say that.

  [long kiss] 

• Barbara Morton : I've just been talking to your shadow. Guy, did you know Mr. Hennessy helped crack that axe murder I was reading about? You know, the one where the body was cut up and hidden in the butcher shop? He was locked in the ice box with the left leg for six hours!

  Guy Haines : Oh, Babs, he pulls those things out of his hat.

• Senator Morton : I thought he was a bit weird when he arrived. Who is he?

  Guy Haines : I hardly know him, sir.

  Senator Morton : Well, get him out of here as soon as you decently can, will you. This is a nice item for the gossips. First thing you know, they'll be talking about orgies!

• Anne Morton : We'd better be getting back.

  Guy Haines : We've actually been alone for an hour. Seems almost indecent. You like?

  Anne Morton : I like.

• Guy Haines : Miriam - murdered?

  Anne Morton : She was strangled.

  Senator Morton : It happened on an island in an amusement park. It was sort of a lovers lane, I believe. Evidently, a sordid atmosphere.

  Barbara Morton : Miriam went there with two boys.

• Bruno Anthony : It must be pretty exciting to be so important.

  Guy Haines : A tennis player isn't so important.

  Bruno Anthony : Oh, but people who do things are important. Now, me, I - I never seem to do anything.

• Barbara Morton : Who's the interesting-looking Frenchman with the Darvilles?

  Guy Haines : His name's Antony... he's not French.

• Bruno Anthony : You think my theory is okay, Guy? You like it?

  Guy Haines : Sure, sure, Bruno. They're all okay.

• Anne Morton : [on the phone]  You sound so savage, Guy.

  Guy Haines : Sure I sound savage. I feel savage. I'd like to break her neck! I said I'd like to break her foul, useless little neck!

  [train rumbles nearby] 

  Guy Haines : What's that? I said I could strangle her!

• Prof. Collins : [drunkenly]  Name's Collins. On sabbatical - Delaware Tech. Glad to meet you. I jus' gave a speech in New York. On integration. In the differential calculus a function is given and the differential is obtained. Y'understand?

  Guy Haines : Yes, I understand.

  Prof. Collins : Y'do?