Sean S. Cunningham's sexploitation comedy Case of the Full Moon Murders (AKA The Case of the Smiling Stiffs) originally existed in both soft-core and hardcore version, but the XXX cut has been lost in the mists of time. At least a more explicit version would serve a purpose.
The soft-core cut is pointless-terrible in almost every department, failing to excite, amuse, scare or entertain in any way. A pathetic parody of TV show Dragnet, the film sees two hard-boiled detectives, Joe (Fred J. Lincoln) and Frank (Ron Millkie), investigating several murders, the male victims having been left with a smile and a hard-on. The killer is Emma (Sheila Stuart), a vampire who sucks the life out of her prey, but not from their neck.
Case of the Full Moon Murders is from the same makers as gritty shocker The Last House on the Left, but with cheap production values, terrible acting, diabolical schoolboy humour, and not-in-the-leat-bit-arousing sex scenes, it makes that film look positively polished by comparison. If you thought that the comedy cops in Last House were bad, wait till you see this film's lawmen, whose deadpan delivery of their supposedly funny lines will leave you more stony-faced than Joe and Frank themselves.
The dreadful plot serves to link several saucy scenes, the naughtiness including a couple having some role-play fun, a swinging party on a yacht, a sped-up game of strip poker that turns into naked leap frog, and a pool party (complete with groovy '70s rock band) that ends with newspaper reporter Silverman (porn legend Harry Reems) chasing Emma, the man holding his giant silver(!) schlong in his hand.
Clearly in it for the money, Cunningham went on to make the highly influential and incredibly profitable slasher Friday the 13th, leaving the smut to those who know what they are doing.
