The Apple Dumpling Gang (1975)

Harry Morgan: Homer McCoy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Townsman : [Dusty and Donovan are in the middle of their bar room brawl]  What happened with them two?

  Sheriff McCoy : They got married.

• Sheriff Homer McCoy : If you need a haircut, Wintle, my barbershop's closed. If you're lookin' to sue somebody, my court's open every Tuesday. If you want the sheriff, I'm playin' poker. Deuces bet a dollar.

• Sheriff McCoy : You're rear end's on fire, Theodore.

  Theodore : Oh. Thank you.

  [Jumps and frantically slaps fire out; glares at Amos] 

  Theodore : Why didn't you tell me my rear end was on fire?

  Amos : Well, you said not to do anything to attract attention.

• Sheriff McCoy : Dusty's a fine specimen of womanhood! I seen her get caught in a cloudburst once, and I wanna to tell you!

• Homer McCoy : Welcome to Quake City, Donovan. Looks like luck is against you.

  Russell Donovan : Well, there's one good thing about luck - it always changes. And I got a feeling mine is just around the corner.

• Homer McCoy : This court is now in session, the Honorable Homer McCoy presiding. Theodore Ogelvie, Amos Tucker, you're charged with attempted bank robbery. How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?

  Theodore Oglivie : Not guilty?

  Homer McCoy : Guilty!

  Amos Tucker : That was the wrong one.

  Homer McCoy : This court sentences you to be hung by the neck until dead. And I'm fining you an extra ten bucks for perjury. Let 'em out.

  [Amos and Ted are let out of the cage] 

  Homer McCoy : Be down at the old oak tree near Boot Hill at twelve o'clock sharp for your hanging. And bring your own rope.

• Homer McCoy : I've never teamed two more unlikely prospects. You two go together like ice cream and whiskey. But I guess you'd be man and wife same as regular people, and nobody could say different.

• Homer McCoy : Donovan, this is just a half portion of a town, but we do have certain what you might call rules to live by! You don't jump another man's claim; you don't steal his wife, woman or whiskey; you don't strike a bargain and then entertain second thoughts about the matter. Any one of these offenses could make you the exalted guest of honor at a hemp party.

• Sheriff McCoy : You two couldn't steal candy from a baby without coming out on the short end.

• Sheriff McCoy : That's two bits.

  Barbershop Customer : But I've only got half a shave!

  Sheriff McCoy : A whole shave's four bits. Now git before I fine you for loitering.

• John Wintle : I'm leaving for San Francisco tonight.

  Sheriff McCoy : San Francisco's loss is Quake City's gain.

• Sheriff Homer McCoy : Okay, everybody sit down and shut up!