The Kinky Coaches And The Pom Pom Pussycats (aka Heart Break High) is a "teen" comedy about a football rivalry between Johnson High and City High, for the illustrious prize of the Hick Cup.

It's straight early 80's cheese, with some patently ridiculous- and often times just plain bad- moments.

Like, when the players from City High almost murder the mole they hire to film the Johnson practice.

When the cop is forced to eat a joint he is smoking in the bathroom at the local burger hangout.

And when the one dude they call Pigger- who only speaks in oinks- jumps on a cream pie, only for it to explode all over the kids from the rival school.

The stars for both teams are both after the same girl, Catherine.

A fledgling activist from Johnson High, who has recently decided to abstain from sex.

This is probably a subtle joke alluding to the film being shot in Montreal...St. Catherine, get it?!

Either way, City High likes to play dirty, and concocts a plan to make the quarterback from Johnson jealous, so they can honey trap him, and tire him out before the big game.

Which is so overtly violent, that it would be surprising if it didn't end up in an outright riot.

The whole thing is chock full of drunk driving, sexual assault, and old ass cops salivating over high school girls...you know, stuff that wouldn't in this day and age.

It's all pretty bad.

Especially the dialogue.

And neither of the titles make any sense.

I'm pretty sure Robert Forster would like to have this performance stricken from his record.

Probably the worst football film ever made.

3.5 out of 10.