Hollywood Hot Tubs (1984)

Mark Costello: Mr. Slate

Quotes 

• Mr. Slate : [meets with Shawn and his parents at their house after Shawn gets busted]  Okay, Shawn, this is the end of the line. Your ass is in a sling, this time.

  Wally Wright : Mr. Slate, it's a phase. Every boy goes through this.

  Beverly Wright : Shawn is not a bad boy.

  Shawn Wright : Yeah, Shawn's not a bad boy. It's just a phase.

  Mr. Slate : [sarcastic]  Oh, sure. Is that why I'm your probation officer, you little pain in the ass? Look, Mr. and Mrs. Wright, the state of California's just about had it with him. Now, I overlooked the time when he put my phone number in Screw Magazine for free phone sex.

  Shawn Wright : I didn't know there were so many freaks out there.

  Mr. Slate : How about the time about the matter involving the five thousand prophylactics...

  Wally Wright : Now, wait a minute! Just stop!

  Shawn Wright : No, no, don't stop. He's just coming to the good part.

  Beverly Wright : [looking behind the couch pillows]  Oh, God, what a time to lose my valium.

  Mr. Slate : Look, what are we going to do with the kid?

  Wally Wright : Well, we've taken away his allowance.

  Beverly Wright : Grounded him.

  Mr. Slate : Well, he got out last night.

  Wally Wright : Well, what more can we do?

  Beverly Wright : What about summer camp?

  Mr. Slate : Well, he's too old for military school.

  Wally Wright : What about the army?

  Mr. Slate : I'd say a job, but who's gonna hire him?

  Beverly Wright : [to Wally]  Maybe your brother Al could give him a job.

  Wally Wright : Are you kidding? I can't do that to him!

  Shawn Wright : Of course you can't, Dad. I think we should give the boy another chance.

  Wally Wright : Shut up! My brother Al, he has got a going business. He could probably use some extra help in there and, besides, he handled tougher characters, than you, when he was in the marines.

  Shawn Wright : No way! I'll take jail!

  Mr. Slate : Okay. Let me just warn you. You're not black, you're not brown, and you don't belong to any gang. Now, you'd last just about as long down there as vanilla ice cream in hell. Now, your booty wouldn't be safe for five minutes, sweetie. Those butt-slammers will just love you.

  Wally Wright : Hell, he can't refuse. He owes me too much money.

  Beverly Wright : Yeah, another bad investment just like that HHT deal.

  Wally Wright : Not now, huh? We'll see some investment returns!

  Shawn Wright : What's HHT?

  Beverly Wright : [notices her valium bottle is empty]  Oh, damn!

  Mr. Slate : Look, all right!

  [to Shawn] 

  Mr. Slate : Which is it?

  Shawn Wright : [after pondering]  How is old, dear, sweet, loveable Uncle Al, anyway?