- Doctor Evan Rendell: [after being electrocuted] I don't feel well.
- [Jennifer holds up two large sharp weapons]
- Jennifer: Take two and call me in the morning!
- [stabs the Doctor]
- Doctor Evan Rendell: Is there a doctor in the house?
- [falls over and dies]
- Officer Joe Reitz: DONT MOVE!
- Doctor Evan Rendell: I don't believe you had an appointment.
- Officer Joe Reitz: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!
- Doctor Evan Rendell: Have a heart.
- [throws a heart at him]
- Doctor Evan Rendell: [in bed] I hope you have protection.
- [Pulls out scalpel and giggles. Boy screams as Evan castrates him, from below his shocked kid brother looks up at the ceiling listening to his older sibling's murder and death gasps before resuming his game]
- Officer Hank Magruder: Our town has a doctor and his name is Rendell / Stay away from his house, 'cause he's a doctor from hell / He chopped up his patients, every last one / And cut out their hearts purely for fun / So if you're from Moorehigh and you should get sick / then fall on your knees and pray you die quick. Don't go chasing nursery rhymes, Reitz.
- Doctor Evan Rendell: All that fat, all that sugar. We got to start taking better care of ourselves. Remember, we are what we eat. They have a saying: what goes down must come up.
- Doctor Evan Rendell: Jennifer, it's time to take your medicine.
- Jennifer: Take some of your own medicine.
- [Electrocutes him]
- Doctor Evan Rendell: [on an answering machine] Hello. This is your new doctor, and I'm standing right behind you.
- [Dr. Rendell listens to Jennifer's heart with his stethoscope]
- Doctor Evan Rendell: Well, it's broken.
- Doctor Evan Rendell: [after Dr. Chamberlain stabs him in the leg with a pair of scissors to defend Jennifer] That is very unprofessional of you, doctor.
- Tom Campbell: [lying on the floor, heavily wounded and in pain] Doctor...
- Officer Joe Reitz: I'm calling the hospital now.
- Tom Campbell: No... no... a doctor... did... this.
- Doctor Evan Rendell: [to Leigh] I'm not really seeing patients yet... but I guess I can make an exception.
- [GIGGLING]
- Officer Hank Magruder: His wife took sick. Heart problems. He was trying to save her. Somewhere along the line old doc just suddenly threw a piston. The sicker she got, the crazier he got. One day, folks just started disappearing. Seems he was trying to find his wife a new ticker. Well, who knows, if they hadn't killed him... maybe he'd have pulled off the world's first heart transplant.
- Officer Joe Reitz: Ahead of his time, but out of his mind.
- Doctor Evan Rendell: Lucky for you, I've discovered the only known cure for the common cold.
- [piercing girl's head with thermometer]
- Doctor Evan Rendell: Leave it in for at least a minute.
- Doctor Evan Rendell: [to Dr. Chamberlain] I'm afraid the news is bad. I give you six seconds to live.
- Dr. Chamberlain: [to Jennifer] Well, up until just now, things looked pretty good. Wave patterns seem to be just about where they should be. I think you're gonna be fine.
- [STABBING SOUND, CHAMBERLAIN GRUNTS]
- Doctor Evan Rendell: If I were you, I'd get a second opinion.
- Doctor Evan Rendell: [being sincere] Are you in discomfort?
- Doctor Evan Rendell: [stabbing a girl with some eye equipment] Oh... I *See*... the Problem
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