On the Line is the greatest film to star a musician since Blue Hawaii. Don't remember Blue Hawaii? Exactly. This film may not revolve around the music of the insanely popular boy band, but it caters to the same audience. In this story, Lance Bass (of 'N Synch) is Kevin Gibbons, the chronically date-impaired ex-rocker turned corporate adman. Kevin is now mocked daily by his friends for being the guy who blew it with his dream girl back in high school. Kevin, now 27, is about to get another chance. Kevin meets Abbey (Emmanuelle Chriqui, Detroit Rock City) on the `L' train in Chicago, and they mesh like... two cute people meshing. Kevin, the dweeb, fails to get her name and number before they part. It's an abused plot of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy comes up with ludicrous way of winning girl back.
After Kevin's slip-up on the L, he decides to flyer the city of Chicago. A newspaper gets a hold of Kevin's story, and takes an active role in spreading to the city just how pathetic Kevin is. It works magnificently and, soon enough, Kevin is inundated by calls from girls claiming to be `the one.' Meanwhile, at work, Kevin is under the gun for a Reebok ad that his partner steals the credit for. A slip-up leads to a tongue lashing from his boss Higgins (Dave Foley, News Radio). While responding to Higgins' rant, Kevin accidentally gives his friends the go ahead to turn his love life into a dating game. Kevin's friends Rod (Joey Fatone), Eric and Randy proceed to take the impostor L train girls out on dates, most of which end catastrophically.
New acting talents Gregory Qaiyum and James Bulliard play Eric and Randy, the ghetto boy and the preppy kid. Qaiyum (who prefers to be called GQ), gives the most enthusiastic performance of the crew, but loses points for interrupting Al Green in the credits. Bulliard, who looks like James Spader's younger Swiss brother, loses no points for not singing, but fails to make anything of his deadpan dialogue. Joey Fatone lends a strong comedic presence to the film, and sings some decent rock covers too. Bass' character doesn't have the slapstick to fall back on, and the character of Kevin often falls flat. It's the willingness of the 'N Synch boys to poke fun at themselves that makes On the Line bearable to watch. Rod falls a lot, and Kevin leads such an embarrassing life that you can't help but smile. If they had been playing athletes or Casanovas, they would have seemed laughably out of place.
With a PG rating, we know what kind of crowd this film was written for. When asked about his predictions for the public's response Bass states, `oh yeah, this is going to be known as the 'N Synch movie,' but he feels that it's not just for the fans. In fact, 'N Synch fans may be disappointed to discover that only two songs on the soundtrack are by the boy band. Relief may come from the other contributing musicians, which include BBMak, Vitamin C, Al Green, and Richie Sambora. A new solo song by Fatone, Ready to Fall, is also on the soundtrack. On the Line is a film starring musicians, who play characters that used to be musicians. While this may have been a safe play for the singers' movie debut, they didn't try very hard to avoid being typecast. This movie was built around the music.
You've got to give Bass and Fatone a hand for their diligence. On the Line was filmed in both Chicago and Toronto, during the recording of their platinum album Celebrity. And it only took 32 days, which is the sign of a truly efficient filmmaker. As a producer, Bass roped in a few special guests. And yes, in case you were wondering, Chris and Justin have a cameo. Their ability to portray effeminate hairdressers is uncanny. As for JC, he must have been busy working on a solo album. That's not inside news, just wishful thinking. Directed by Eric Bross. Rated PG for fart jokes and beer.
