Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Mike Epps: L.J.

Photos 

Quotes 

• Major Cain : Why haven't we taken off?

  [he reaches the pilot seat, and the "pilot" turns around] 

  L.J. : 'Cause I usually drive a Cadillac!

  [punches Cain] 

• [L.J. walks into a building and is surrounded by 12 S.T.A.R.S. members] 

  L.J. : Shit! Maybe I was safer outside. Get them guns out of my damn face.

  [a S.T.A.R.S. officer hands him a shotgun] 

  L.J. : Motherfucker, please. Look.

  [opens up his jacket revealing two gold guns] 

  L.J. : My shit is custom.

• [after hearing the S.T.A.R.S. planning to take down the Nemesis] 

  L.J. : You motherfuckers is crazy! Look. That big motherfucker got a rocket launcher!

• L.J. : [a Zombie walks in front of his car]  GTA, Motherfucker!

  [he runs over the Zombie, which flips over his car] 

  L.J. : Yeah! Ten points!

• L.J. : [hands raised]  Respect!

  [drops guns] 

  Nemesis : Aaaurghhhh...

  [analyzes L.J. and walks away] 

• [Alice and Carlos have their guns pointed at each other, L.J. comes in from behind] 

  L.J. : Don't shoot, don't shoot. He's cool. He made a deal with Dr. Doom, same as you.

• Alice : How long ago have you been bitten?

  Carlos Olivera : Three hours.

  L.J. : What?

  Alice : Today's your lucky day.

  L.J. : [to Carlos]  You should have told me you were bit, motherfucker, I'm hanging with you and shit!

• Sniper : [after taking out a zombie]  Yaaahoooo! Plenty to go 'round.

  L.J. : [L.J. comes into the picture looking to steal a vehicle. The sniper and L.J. then spot each other and the sniper appears to shoot at him]  DON'T SHOOT!

  [Instead the sniper takes out another zombie creeping up behind him] 

  L.J. : Thank You!... Owe you one man!

  Sniper : [Bragging]  I got the power!

• L.J. : Somebody get this ugly bitch off of me!