Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Michelle Yeoh: Evelyn Wang

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Quotes 

• Evelyn Wang : You are not unlovable. There is always something to love. Even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we get very good with our feet.

• Evelyn Wang : [puts google eye on her forehead] 

  Waymond Wang : What are you doing?

  Evelyn Wang : Learning to fight like you.

• Joy Wang : Mom, just stop! Good for you. You're figuring your shit out. And that's great. I'm really, really happy for you. But I'm tired. I don't want to hurt anymore. And for some reason when I'm with you, it just hurts the both of us. So let's just go our separate ways, ok? Just let me go!

  Evelyn Wang : Ok.

  [pause] 

  Evelyn Wang : Wait. You are getting fat. And you never call me even though we have a family plan. And it's free. You only visit when you need something. And you got a tattoo and I don't care if it's supposed to represent our family. You know I hate tattoos. And of all the places I could be, why would I want to be here with you? Yes, you're right. It doesn't make sense.

  Waymond Wang : Evelyn, stop. That's enough!

  Joy Wang : Let her finish!

  Evelyn Wang : Maybe it's like you said. Maybe there is something out there, some new discovery that will make us feel like even smaller pieces of shit. Something that explains why you still went looking for me through all of this noise. And why, no matter what, I still want to be here with you. I will always, always, want to be here with you.

  [Joy starts crying] 

  Joy Wang : So what? You're just gonna ignore everything else? You could be anything, anywhere. Why not go somewhere where your daughter is more than just this? Here, all we get are a few specks of time where any of this actually makes any sense.

  Evelyn Wang : Then I will cherish these few specks of time.

  [Evelyn and Joy embrace] 

• Alpha Waymond : I've seen thousands of Evelyns, but never a Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished. Dreams you never followed. You are living your worst you.

  Evelyn Wang : I cannot be the worst. What about that hot dog one?

  Alpha Waymond : No. Everyone here agrees. This one's worse. Can't you see? Every failure here, branched off into a success for another Evelyn in another life. Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here... you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

• Jobu Tupaki : Every new discovery is just a reminder...

  Evelyn Wang : We're all small and stupid.

• [after verse-jumping for the first time] 

  Evelyn Wang : [to Alpha Waymond]  I saw my life... without you... I wish you could have seen it... it was beautiful.

• Chad : [crying]  You took everything away from me!

  Evelyn Wang : I'm sorry.

  Chad : Raccacoonie taught me so much! I... I didn't even know... how to boil an egg! He taught me how to spin it on a spatula! I'm useless alone.

  Evelyn Wang : We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone.

  [Evelyn climbs onto Chad's shoulders and pulls his hair] 

  Evelyn Wang : Let's go rescue your silly raccoon.

• Waymond Wang : I wanted to start off the new year on a new foot. But, maybe you're right. Maybe we would have been better off, if we had never gotten married.

  Evelyn Wang : I never said that.

  Waymond Wang : You didn't have to. It's the way you look at me.

• Evelyn Wang : There is no way I am the Evelyn you are looking for.

  Alpha Waymond : No, I see it so clearly.

  Evelyn Wang : See what? I'm no good at anything.

  Alpha Waymond : Exactly. I've seen thousands of Evelyns, but never an Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished, dreams you never followed. You're living your worst you.

  Evelyn Wang : I cannot be the worst. What about the hot dog one?

  Alpha Waymond : No. Can't you see? Every failure here branched off into a success for another Evelyn in another life. Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here, you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

• Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Mrs. Wang? Mrs. Wang? Hello? Look, I'm sure you have a lot on your mind, but I cannot imagine anything mattering more than the conversation we are now having concerning your tax liability. Need I remind you that there is already a lien on your property? Repossession is well within our rights.

  Evelyn Wang : I know. I am paying attention.

  [Deirdre gestures behind her to some very suggestively-looking trophies behind her with her name on them] 

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Do you see these? You don't get one of these unless you've seen a lot of bullshit. Excuse my French. Now you may only see a pile of boring forms and numbers, but I see a story. With nothing but a stack of receipts, I can trace the ups and downs of your lives. And it does not look good. It. Does. Not. Look Good.

  Waymond Wang : Sorry, my wife confuses her hobbies for businesses! An honest mistake.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Oh. Okay. Well, with all of these "honest mistakes", I mean, even if we don't charge you with fraud, we'll most certainly have to fine you for gross negligence.

• Evelyn Wang : What did my silly husband say to you?

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : He told me about your situation. I remember when my husband served me papers. I drove his Kia Forte through my neighbor's kitchen. But you know what I say? It's cold, unlovable bitches like us that make the world go round.

  Evelyn Wang : That's not true. You're not unlovable.

• Alpha Waymond : You can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences.

  Evelyn Wang : I want to lie here.

• [repeated line] 

  Evelyn Wang : [to Deirdre]  I love you.

• [Alpha-Gong Gong from an alternate universe hands the main universe's Evelyn a knife] 

  Gong Gong : [about Jobu Topaki]  Quickly, while she is distracted.

  Evelyn Wang : No.

  Gong Gong : It's only protocol. It gives her one less universe to access. How do you expect to defeat her in every universe if you can't even kill her in one.

  Evelyn Wang : She's your granddaughter.

  Gong Gong : [sadly]  How do you think I feel? But it is a sacrifice necessary to win the war.

• Evelyn Wang : [struggling with legal predicament]  I can't talk right now. Unless you can help me with my taxes. What is "gross necklaces"?

• Evelyn Wang : No more google eyes!

• Joy Wang : Do you still want to do your party?

  Evelyn Wang : We can do whatever we want.

• [in the middle of the tax meeting] 

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Mrs. Wang? Mrs. Wang, are you with us?

  Evelyn Wang : Yes. Of course. I am here. Just... thinking.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Oh, okay. Well, I was just hoping that you could explain this.

  [Deidre places a receipt on the table. Evelyn looks at it] 

  Evelyn Wang : This is a receipt. My receipt.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Look, I... I was just hoping that you could enlighten me as to how, as a laundromat owner, a *karaoke machine* could constitute a business expense.

  Evelyn Wang : [meekly]  I am a singer.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : [sighs]  Of course you are.

  Waymond Wang : It's true. She has a beautiful voice! Oh! Evelyn, sing a song for her.

  Evelyn Wang : Shh!

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : No, no, please. That will not be necessary. But I will need a separate Schedule C for each of these businesses because based on what you're trying to deduct...

  [Deirdre shuffles through a pile of forms, referencing them at random] 

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : ...you're also a novelist and a chef, a teacher, a singing coach, and a "Watsu" technician. I'm sorry, what... what is "Watsu"?

  Waymond Wang : It's a water massage.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : What's a water massage?

  Waymond Wang : Like for back pain. You go get a water massage.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Oh, you go?

  Waymond Wang : Yes.

• Evelyn Wang : [upon seeing Jobu Tupaki]  Joy? Why are you dressed all stupid?

• Becky Sregor : Hi Evelyn!

  [corrects herself] 

  Becky Sregor : Mrs. Wong.

  Joy Wang : Hey mom!

  Evelyn Wang : I only cook enough food for three people, now I have to cook more.

• Evelyn Wang : Enough of your clay pots, cream cheese, no cows! Explain it all to me, now!

• [last lines] 

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Evelyn! Did you hear me?

  Evelyn Wang : Sorry, what did you say?

• Jobu Tupaki : [to Evelyn]  I got bored one day - and I put everything on a bagel. Everything. All my hopes and dreams, my old report cards, every breed of dog, every last personal ad on craigslist. Sesame. Poppy seed. Salt. And it collapsed in on itself. 'Cause, you see, when you really put everything on a bagel, it becomes this.

  Alpha Waymond : Come on. Run, Evelyn.

  Jobu Tupaki : The truth.

  Evelyn Wang : What is the truth?

  Jobu Tupaki : Nothing... matters.

• Evelyn Wang : You are like puppets. You know? Puppets? You can do things you normally cannot do. It's like that movie. Um, you... you... That movie...

  Jobu Tupaki : OK, what are you talking about?

  Waymond Wang : A movie?

  Evelyn Wang : 'Raccaccoonie'!

  Waymond Wang : What?

  Jobu Tupaki : Huh?

  Evelyn Wang : 'Raccaccoonie', you know? The one with the chef... And he makes bad food. Phooey. And then this raccoon sit on his head, ooh, control him, and then he cooks good food.

  Jobu Tupaki : Do you mean 'Ratatouille'?

  Waymond Wang : 'Ratatouille'? I like that movie.

  Evelyn Wang : No. No, no, no, no, no. 'Raccaccoonie'! With the raccoon.

  Jobu Tupaki : OK...

  Evelyn Wang : Everybody, stop making up sounds!

  Waymond Wang : So there's... there's a raccoon Joy, and there's a raccoon me? And they are controlling us?

  Evelyn Wang : Yeah, from the other universes.

  Jobu Tupaki : Oh. OK.

  Waymond Wang : That's very funny, Evelyn.

  Evelyn Wang : OK, it sounds a little bit ridiculous, but it's true.

• Alpha Waymond : You underestimate how the smallest decisions can compound into significant differences over a lifetime. Every tiny decision creates another branching universe, another - were you not paying attention before?

  Evelyn Wang : Of course! You're just very bad at explaining.

• Evelyn Wang : How did I die?

  Alpha Waymond : I've seen you die a thousand ways, in a thousand worlds. In every single one, you were murdered.

  Evelyn Wang : What? Why would anybody want to kill me?

  Alpha Waymond : She's an omniversal being with unimaginable power, an agent of pure chaos, with no real motives or desires. Jobu Tupaki.

  Evelyn Wang : You're just making up sounds.

• Evelyn Wang : You're not unlovable. You're not unlovable!

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : What are you talking about?

  Evelyn Wang : There is always something to love. Even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we'd get very good with our feet.

• Evelyn Wang : What if... I want to go back? Back to the other universe...

  Alpha Waymond : [Waymond begins shaking her furiously]  Shut it down. Shut it down! Are you with me? Come back!

• Evelyn Wang : He doesn't have to stay.

  Joy Wang : Who's he?

  Evelyn Wang : Becky.

  Joy Wang : Becky's a she.

  Evelyn Wang : You know me. I always mix up 'he', 'she'. In Chinese, just one word 'ta'. So easy. And the way you two are dressed, I'm sure I'm not the only one calling him 'he'. I mean her 'him'.

• Alpha Waymond : She's been building something. We thought it was some sort of black hole. But it appears to consume more than just light and matter. We don't know exactly what it is. We don't know what it's for. But we can all feel it. You've been feeling it too, haven't you? Something is off. Your clothes never wear as well the next day. Your hair never falls in quite the same way. Even your coffee tastes - wrong. Our institutions are crumbling. Nobody trusts their neighbor anymore. And you stay up at night wondering to yourself...

  Evelyn Wang : How can we get back?

  Alpha Waymond : This is the Alphaverse's mission - to take us back to how it's supposed to be.

• Alpha Waymond : It's like eating the chap stick or switching shoes. We developed an algorithm that calculates which statistically improbable action will place you in a universe on the edge of your local cluster, which then sling shots you to the desired universe.

  Evelyn Wang : That doesn't make any sense!

  Alpha Waymond : Exactly! The less sense it makes, the better. The Stochastic Path Algorithm is fuel led by random actions.

• Joy Wang : Oh, my God. He's trying to stick it in his butt.

  Waymond Wang : Evelyn, do jumping jacks!

  Joy Wang : That's not weird at all.

  Waymond Wang : Slap him!

  Joy Wang : Mom, just blow on his nose!

  Evelyn Wang : What?

  Joy Wang : What? It'll make him involuntarily scream and do weird noises.

  Waymond Wang : Trust her, Evelyn! It's really weird.

• Evelyn Wang : Happy New Year! Another year, hmm? Pretending we know what we're doing, but, really, we're just going around in circles. Doing laundry and taxes, and laundry and taxes.

• Evelyn Wang : My husband won't even kill a spider. How can you be the same person?

• Evelyn Wang : My English is fine and we have Google. So you don't have to come and be a translator.

• Evelyn Wang : What can be worse than death?

• Evelyn Wang : This is crazy!

  Jobu Tupaki : You're starting to get it.

• Jobu Tupaki : You see - how everything we do - gets washed away in a sea of every other possibility? You're everywhere. You're like me.

  Evelyn Wang : That's right. I'm the one you're looking for.

• Evelyn Wang : Please, I don't care about the bagel. I don't care about the Alpha verse. I only care about my Joy.