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doppleganger19692
Reviews
The Prodigy (2019)
Do NOT waste your time
Despite being involved in and around the motion picture industry for over four decades, my list of "Movies I Hate" is very short, topped by "The Fourth Kind" (2009), but this turd is a close second. I can usually find something redeeming in even the cheapest, poorly-made productions - "The Mist" was OK until the final five minutes which put it on my "Hate" list - but there is NOTHING of any value in "The Prodigy". I feel that the only was I may justify wasting my time with it is to try and steer others away from it (and don't trust the "7-10" rated reviews, those are obviously either paid for or submitted by family of the director), so here is the movie in a crapshell:
>>>>>>>>> SPOILER ALERT! <<<<<<<<<
A child is born who has the spirit of a serial killer in addition to his own, an animal is killed, he tries to murder his father, the mother takes the kid to the victim the killer didn't finish off - the reason for the obsession - to kill her and "free" the evil spirit, but it has taken over, and before the mother can kill the boy, a farmer kills her and the killer kid is free to murder.
Did you throw up yet? Remarkable intestinal fortitude if you didn't. Obviously intended to start a film franchise (please, no) with mediocre acting, lame direction and a putrid denouement that can be seen from a mile away. Need something else to kill an hour or so? You are better off re-arranging your sock drawer in alphabetical order.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
Negative number review category
A pity the rating scale does not provide the ability to award "below zero" appraisals of productions; giving this miasma of movie mess a "1" is overly-generous. Usually even poorly-made films have SOME sort of redeeming qualities such as the somewhat endearing "hey, kids, let's make a movie" quality of Ed Wood productions, or the "Star Wars" riffs in "Starcrash" (which also offers gorgeous Caroline Munro eye candy). But there are some that are just inexcusably bad.
Like "The Fourth Kind". Or "Starship Invasions". Movies made by people "who should know better". This movie is in that "needs negative number ratings" category. I'd give it a "Minus 9".
Thinking, perhaps, that I had been unfair in a previous viewing, I gave it another go last night when it popped on a cable channel. I was right, I had been unfair with my previous discernment: this movie isn't bad......it's VERY VERY VERY BAD!
Recommended only for either lessons in how NOT to make a movie, or to cure insomnia.
The Munsters (2022)
How to make a monster failure
How could you screw up a movie based on a beloved television series that is rife with potential comedy and parody of both monster movies and social stigmas?
Rob Zombie has demonstrated how to do just that....sadly.
Rob has proven that he knows how to make movies. While certainly not on the Orson Welles-level, his motion pictures are usually entertaining if not a tad disturbing (I'm OK with that, art should stir the senses), so I am at a loss as to what happened with his effort to bring The Munsters into the 21st Century.
One of the themes of the series was "reverse appearance acceptance": scary is good, normal is "unfortunate". Given the current fad of bizarre body alterations, the Munsters would probably find greater acceptance than when the series first appeared during the "coat and tie" 1960's - which would have been a good repetitive subplot. The "shock" over the "normal neighbors" is a poorly-executed one-and-done in this movie: opportunity missed.
The entire plot or storyline is extraordinarily lame, given Rob's predilection for bizarre stories. Like a watered-down, insipid, half-asleep "first draft" outline that was never finalized. Not sure what was the point of everything being neon colored, including the main characters. A "Young Frankenstein"-type B&W would have been both effective and harken back to the series.
As for the performances, if they were intended in any way to channel Fred Gwynn, Yvonne DeCarlo, and Al Lewis, it did not come across. The affection between Lily and Herman is missing, and frankly Eddie is greatly missed.
There's more, but you get the idea: fans of the series will be put out, and there's really no reason for anyone else to watch it. A shame.
Wish (2023)
Swing and a miss
Given that this production was intended as a salute to a century of Disney Animation - an admirable concept - there are actually very few identifiable references to previous productions. Those that are shown are done rather clumsily rather than cleverly, such as "Peter Pan" and "Mary Poppins", but a few make sense like the "Thumper" and "Bambi" cameos. And don't get me started on the numerous potential classic character references which could (and should) have been included.
Oh, what the heck; let's dive into those: a "Cogsworth" clock could have been on a shelf in the castle and a "Lumiere" lamp could have been seen lighting a room. Some Dalmatian dogs or any of the canines or even felines from "Lady And The Tramp" and/or "The Aristocats" could have been easily added to crowd scenes, as well as a number of other classic characters. Since the current company hierarchy would prefer that no one remember "Song Of The South" or "So Dear To My Heart" (ironically two of Walt Disney's favorite movies) it is no surprise none of those animated characters are included.
There are so many characters from so many movies, plus animated shorts, yet only a few from the past 100 years show up. If you are intending on making a movie tribute to Disney animated characters, then DO it. "Wish" could have easily been that movie - the premise and the opportunity was there, but the actual end result is half-hearted, instead of the "Ok look! There's 'Sleeping Beauty'!"-sort of "spot the character reference" production it could have been.
Like if Apollo 11 had aimed for the Moon but instead landed in New Jersey.
While "Wish" in itself is not a bad movie (though the plot is by-the-numbers obvious and none of the written-for-off-Broadway songs will stick in your brain like "Let It Go" or "A Spoonful Of Sugar"), it is not the fun classic Disney tribute it could have been.
The Terror Within II (1990)
What in the plagiarized cheap ripoff hell did I just watch?
If reviews could rate movies in negative numbers, this mind-numbing heap of fetid fecal tomfoolery would rate a Minus-10. At least some of the post-"Alien" clones had some kind of interesting twist; this abomination has the Gaul to try and add some "Hills Have Eyes" and "Road Warrior" riffs before going full high school drama club dropouts with an 8mm movie camera ketchup-covered "monster" effects "Alien" ripoff - all done so incredibly poorly that it astounds my senses to see otherwise-talented actors involved. I hope their checks didn't bounce, because there is no way this turd of a movie could ever be used to advance a career or be used as an "acting legacy" item. Burton Gilliam had no comment on this movie when were together for an event a few years ago; now i understand why. Andrew Stevens is a nice guy and a decent actor, but any acting or directing talent was not apparent on this bomb...and he talked his mother into being in it too! I hope she forgave him.
In case you haven't picked up on it yet, I highly advise anyone to avoid this gawdawful production. You would be better advised to watch back-to-back showings of "Plan Nine From Outer Space" for a week while sitting on a bed of hot coals. I appreciate "B movies", for their low-budget amateur efforts; hell, I even like Cash Flagg's "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies" (especially the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version), but THIS atrocity should have all the copies and negatives burned, buried in salted sand, and everyone involved should erase it from their resumes.
Avatar: The Last Airbender (2024)
Perfect companion piece to the animated series
I see several negative reviews, mainly from people comparing this new series to the original animated series (let's pretend that horrible motion picture misstep did not occur), but recreating the animated version scene-by-scene in a live action production would be as stupid as recreating Hitchcock's "Psycho" scene-by-scene....
Oh, wait....someone actually did that, didn't they? And see how well THAT turned out?
I greatly enjoyed the original Nickelodeon series, and we have re-watched it many times, so it was with some trepidation that we began watching this series. It quickly became apparent that the people involved with this new series have the same affection for the original as we do. The casting is spot-on (although I do miss Mako's grown as Uncle Iroh), the storyline rings true, the performances are outstanding, and the effects - which bring "bending" to life - are fabulous.
The only problem: the wait for the next season of episodes. One of my primary gauges of success for a motion picture or a series is whether I am wishing for more at the conclusion (still wishing for a sequel to "Master And Commander"!); this first season definitely "set the hook" and has us wanting more!
Poor Things (2023)
Nice visuals, but what the actual f.....?
I gave this production a "5" for some remarkable visuals like the steampunk/Land of Oz cruise ship, and Willem Dafoe is fabulous is everything, BUT; the plot is like dumping a bag of Scrabble letters on the floor and calling it a "story". If there are some deep philosophical themes or character development arcs to learn from, they are well-hidden or so convoluted as to make them incomprehensible. I kept waiting for some "aha!" moment of clarity but it never came.
Other reviewers have addressed - in excruciating detail - the disturbing implicated child molestation theme, but if nothing else the uncomfortable sex scenes are too numerous and too lengthy. The point (if there is one) could have been made without beating the audience over the head with a cinematic cudgel ala Oliver Stone's "JFK". And what in the name of Dr Moreau was with the animal hybrids?
BTW the current "craze" in Hollywood of making movies in a mix of color and black & white ("Oppenheimer" and "Maestro" for example) has run its course, and the mix in this production has very little to do with the storyline....whatever that is.
Frankly the positive reviews are either from people who equate meaningless oddities with high art, or studio minions getting paid to boost the total review rating - which is most likely. I've been in the business long enough to recognize pretentious but ultimately meaningless movie fluff, and this is certainly that. Ultimately the only "Poor Things" in this movie are the people who have to watch it.
Lift (2024)
BTDT but this is still fun
Recognizing that this movie has been done before - "The Italian Job" (both versions), "Tower Heist", and even the "Mission: Impossible" and "Fast & Furious" franchises - "Lift" is still a worthy entry with some 21st Century touches, and enough "how are they going to do it?" suspense to make the denouement worth the wait. As pointed out by other reviewers there isn't much chemistry between the characters, and little is said to indicate how the gang came together (or why they have such allegiance to each other), but I applaud Kevin Hart for eschewing his usual manic schtick (though he is very good at it) for a more laid back serious performance. One of my yardsticks for measuring a motion picture's value is "Was I glad I spent that time?" In this case I was. In fact, I am looking forward to seeing it again.
Kus Uçusu (2022)
Only if nothing else is available
If you like poorly dubbed unrealistic soap operas, then you'll love this series. For everyone else, "As The Crow Flies" (there is a great deal of nonsensical animal behavior references) is viable only if there are no other options. The storyline is absurd, there are no likable characters (moral compasses spin like tops), and the social media and television technology/culture is so far removed from reality as to be rendered pointless. Perhaps there is some cultural disconnect - these things may be the norm in Turkey, though I doubt it - and the translation used in the English scripts seems to indicate some conceptual stumbles, but such issues have been successfully managed with other productions released for countries outside their origin....why not with this one?
Oppenheimer (2023)
Riveting
It's quite an accomplishment to take complicated historical events, make them compelling and entertaining, as well as artistic. Ron Howard did it with "Apollo 13", Steven Spielberg with "Saving Private Ryan", and Christopher Nolan has done it with "Oppenheimer". Even if you have read the book on which this motion picture is based and have a knowledge of history, this movie will be enlightening and thought-provoking. In addition, the performances by an amazing cast (Cillian Murphy's first starring role, now certainty not his last), remarkable direction and cinematography make this the must-see feature of 2023.
Entebbe (2018)
Disappointing portrayal of important event
Previous motion pictures have depicted actual events with great success - "All The Presidents Men" and "Apollo 13" come to mind - keeping the viewer engaged even though the outcome is historically known. Previous depictions of the remarkable rescue of the hostages at the Entebbe airport by the IDF have done a good job of portraying the event, even though details may have been altered for the sake of narrative. An opportunity to provide insights into the minds of the terrorists, the hostages, and the Israeli government as well as a clear depiction of the rescue would make for an intriguing motion picture.
"7 Days In Entebbe" is not that motion picture.
For whatever reason the director chose to focus more on the two German terrorists and some dance performance than anything else. There is some attention paid to the debate among Israeli cabinet members, but it is not effective. A few disjointed crumbs are tossed in about what the hostages and crew were going through, and Idi Amin's involvement is mostly glossed over.
Then, what should be the nail-biting, heart-pumping part - the IDF raid itself - is completely sidelined by being intercut with some bizarre new age dance performance which had no apparent connection to the raid. The result is jarring and deflates any tension. If there is an intended "statement" (including the bizarre performance during the credits) it is completely lost on all but the director. There are some unnecessary and disjointed scenes using actual footage from 1976.
To support what other reviewers have stated: watching "Raid On Entebbe" or any of the other previous productions will prove more satisfying. This movie was truly disappointing.
Journey to the Center of Time (1967)
I've seen some great time travel movies...this wasn't one of them
If you are a fan of bad movies, you're going to love "Journey To The Center of Time". Interesting premise, but one that requires more money than the paycheck for the kid who sells "Grit". A set that looks like an orange-colored poor version of the bridge on the Enterprise, using a few surplus electronics - including an oscilloscope - for "high tech" equipment, stock footage from other movies for the time travel sequences along with spinning the camera on a tripod, repeating previous scenes for no apparent reason, horrible dialogue, stiff acting (Scott Brady really slumming it here), absurd "Adam & Eve" denouement.....you get the idea. I made better movies when I was ten with my 8mm camera and friends in the neighborhood. There are "good bad" movies (think "Plan 9 From Outer Space") and "bad bad" movies - like this one - which are only for the truly masochistic viewer.
The Domino Principle (1977)
How?
I was busy with my own productions when "Domino Principle" was released, and a friend literally said "don't bother", so it was 45 years until I finally saw this movie - and now I understand the warning.
How can you take an intriguing premise, mix in Gene Hackman, Richard Widmark, Eli Wallach, and even Mickey Rooney (who has proven he can be a great dramatic actor, and who is largely wasted here), and screw it up this badly? With the right character and script, Candice Bergman can be terrific.....this movie provides neither and you can feel the struggle to make it work.
And there are plot holes big enough to comfortably fly an airbus through. Speaking of flying, about the only thing I did enjoy was seeing the twin-engine Marine Bell UH-1 executing treetop-level maneuvers. But if a relatively short sequence involving an aircraft is the highlight of a movie with the afore-mentioned cast, that is a huge red flag.
There are opportunities missed that a better screenplay and cohesive direction would have fixed. As it is, this motion picture is a mess - unless you are a student of movie production and are taking notes on how NOT to make a movie.
The denouement is absolutely absurd, but is appropriate given the complete misfire of everything preceding it. I should have heeded my friend's warning, so for your benefit, allow me to repeat: "don't bother".
Halloween II (2009)
What recreational pharmaceuticals wrought
I have tried to think of something positive to say about this movie, and I cannot think of a single thing. I enjoyed the over-the-top riff on the slasher genre with Zombie's "House Of A 1,000 Corpses", and I appreciate his efforts to "update" classic horror productions, but this was such an incredible misstep that it defies description. Usually a remake pays some degree of homage to the original, or - at the very least - utilizes the same basic storyline. If you didn't know the title of this movie and didn't recognize character names, you would never connect it to the Carpenter original. About the only way anyone could find any viewing pleasure in this movie would be under the influence of powerful conscious-altering medications. Better yet, just go read a book; any book. Even a AAA Trip-Tik from Newark to Poughkeepsie would be preferable.
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022)
Just have some fun!
Sure it's an offbeat premise and sure the plot lines are predictable, but sometimes you just want something entertaining to help forget the woes of the world. While it is certainly aimed at a younger audience, this 64-year old found the movie to be entertaining and very enjoyable - not to mention memorable (the music will live in your head for a while much like "The Greatest Showman" - same music writing team). As for the rest of our "review crew", our 7-year old and his class buddy loved it, our 12-year old liked it very much, while our 15-year old (who also loved "The Greatest Showman") wants to buy the soundtrack and the movie when it is released on DVD (yes, I firmly believe in physical purchases and not the ethereal streaming). My bride liked it too, so a solid "thumbs up" from us!
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea: The Indestructible Man (1965)
What a difference 57 years make!
When this episode debuted I was 7 years old, and fascinated with monsters and science fiction; and this episode scared the smut out of me! Shambling, unstoppable Frankenstein-like robot running amok with that Theramin-laced Bernard Herrmann "Day The Earth Stood Still" music as icing on the fear cake. Now, after spending decades in motion picture and television production, I can appreciate the "goofiness" of the robot and the episode itself, and be amused at the low bar of terror perception was at that young age. It's still fun to watch if you are a fan of the genre, but with all the other increasingly-terrifying productions over the past six decades, this shouldn't prompt anyone to hide behind their father's Laz-E-Boy recliner.....
Singularity (2017)
A study guide in "How NOT To"
This production is an interesting premise in search of a bigger budget, better writing, better direction, better acting, better effects.....you get the idea. The basic concept is not new - think "Skynet" in the "Terminator" series - but the twist is worth exploring. Unfortunately it's not executed very well here. However this is a good movie to watch and make notes on what not to do when making a movie.
Alice in the Big League (1927)
Not totally lost
Apparently this short is not completely lost, as another reviewer states, as I just watched it on YouTube. The original U. S. release or the master negative may be lost, but there is at least one version on the internet.
Norma Rae (1979)
Addendum needed
Much has been written about the acting merits and quality of filmmaking for this production, most of which I agree with, but since the film is based on real people and historical events, I believe an addendum needs to be added for streaming and DVD releases; the current ending makes it seem that it's all going to be sunshine and roses for textile workers once their factories become union shops. The truth is, the higher wages and sundry demands by the union on the companies drove many out of business and sent the textile industry overseas. It may have been a victory for the workers, but it was short-lived and somewhat hollow - which is better: a difficult job or no job at all? The same thing happened to the American steel manufacturing industry, the commercial shipbuilding industry, and turned Detroit into a ghost town. Some unions have benefitted business and workers, but unions have also killed off many U. S. industries.
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made (2020)
Mistakes WERE made
Overall I thought this movie was good fun, something for a single viewing but not to put on a "Favorites" list for repeated viewing. In a nod to the title, it does feel like "Mistakes Were Made" in production; the movie feels incomplete. Like a car missing a seat, rear view mirror, a radio, and a tire. Whether some key scenes were left out, or cut for time, there is a sense that with appropriate tweaking this movie could have been much better. Additional background into what prompted this child to create the fantasy world he put himself in; why a polar bear?; what is the obsession with Russian spies?; what's up with the scarf? There are many things hinted at or teased, but we are not shown the reason for them. The potential is there, and other movies have used similar plot devices successfully, but like my car analogy there are parts missing.
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964)
"A seven???" Let me explain....
In addition to some nostalgic affection for this turkey - and it IS a turkey - I appreciate any film maker with a "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead" attitude. I first saw this movie on a Saturday afternoon "creature feature" on television; it immediately became one of my fave "so bad, but I like it anyway" films. Later when I started shooting my own 8mm "backyard epics" I appreciated the no-budget, amateur-actor Ed Wood-like one-take-even-if-the-prop-fell-over method of making films even more so. While having a decent budget, talented crew and actors is more satisfying (and lucrative), I maintain a deep affection for "guerrilla film making". If you can, watch the MST3K version: it is GOLD.
All-Star Party for 'Dutch' Reagan (1985)
Room full of legends
It is easy to not treasure something special until it is gone; such is the case with this special. Not only one of better Presidents (and a marvelous orator), but look around the room at the talent treasures no longer with us: Sinatra, Martin, Steve and Eydie, Monty Hall, Red Skelton, Jimmy Stewart, Burt Reynolds, Alec Trebek, and many more. Who are their modern counterparts? There are none. The "evolution of talent" these people went through no longer exists. If you are 30-plus, watch and be dazzled with memories. If you are under 30 try to appreciate the marvelous talents these people had, and shared with us.
This Is America, Charlie Brown: The Mayflower Voyagers (1988)
Inaccurate
The first Thanksgiving was held in Virginia in 1619, several years before the events depicted in this "educational" cartoon. I understand that the popular culture surrounding the Holiday has focused on the Massachusetts ceremony, and this production was aimed at younger children, but it perpetuates the fallacy of where and when the first Thanksgiving took place. If providing some education along with entertainment is the goal, then the real history should be included - even if it's only a mention: "A few years after the first Thanksgiving was celebrated in Virginia, the Pilgrims began their journey to the New World where the most-known Thanksgiving would take place".
House of Frankenstein (1944)
But what about that curse?
Much has been written about the good and the bad of this movie, so I'll stick to the one thing that has bothered me since the first time I saw it: since Elena Verdugo's character is bitten by a werewolf shouldn't she then become a lycanthrope as well? (Perhaps after leaving Dr Welby's office on nights with a full Moon she did some prowling herself 😉)
Dracula Reborn (2015)
What the pluperfect hell?
Reborn? I don't recall seeing Vlad the Impaler, much less see him "reborn" like he was in many Hammer Studios movies. This thing has no direction, no perceptible plot, sleepwalking acting, and adds nothing to the vampire genre. If you are brave enough to subject yourself to this atrocity, don't be surprised if you discover the words "What the hell did I just watch?" as this turkey comes to an abrupt, unsatisfying and perplexing conclusion.