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Reviews
Santo (2022)
Nonsensical
I gave it a shot because not only do I love all the countries it is set in, but the cast is generally speaking great too.
However... what a waste of talented actors. Everyone involved in this project deserved a better story, I'm not even sure how they prepared for their roles because nothing makes sense. It's impossible to follow what's going on. And as much as I love Victoria Guerra, her accent was weak and they could have easily casted a Brazilian actress instead. Unless it turns out in the end that her true nationality all along wasn't Brazilian - I wouldn't know because I just couldn't torture myself to watch the whole thing.
I'm always happy to see Portuguese/Spanish series on Netflix and wish there were more, but they need to amp up the quality and make justice to the talent they hire.
The Empress (2022)
A fictional account but worth watching
I loved the series. The cast is great, the costumes and setting are amazing. For that alone it's worth watching it. I didn't know much about Sissi except remembering my mother talk about the Romy Schneider movie, which was also before her time. Curiosity made me spend the weekend reading about Sissi and the historical context surrounding her life in court.
This is where I think Netflix (or any other production, for that matter) should change - it wouldn't take much to just add a disclaimer saying it's a fictional account based on historical characters. There's nothing wrong with it and it would give people a fair warning when watching.
Again, worth watching.
Só Se for por Amor (2022)
Just too slow and uninteresting.
The music is the highlight of the series, but unfortunately the characters themselves are just missing something. I thought I'd be giving up by the second episode but decided to let it stay as background chatter. There aren't any highs or any lows, for that matter. It's just... dull.
This is through no fault of the actors, but rather just a script problem. If you like slow paced slice of life stories, maybe this one will actually be something you enjoy. And if you're Portuguese speaking, you will absolutely recognise some of the songs throughout the series. Shout out to Eva!
It's so boring I struggled to reach the character limit here because there really isn't much to say.
Confissões de uma Garota Excluída (2021)
Exceptionally bad and cliché
Netflix has been notorious for putting out cheesy budget teen movies, but this one takes the cake. I don't know what's up with Netflix Brazil, they have solid actors and good cinema, I'm sure they could do better.
The main character is unbearable. No one is that awkward IRL and she's all woe is me 24/7, even including during a funeral. A funeral. Which is when she's finally called out.
Overall it's not worth the watch. There are better teen movies.
The Beast Must Die (2020)
Unoriginal themes, but amazing cast.
I am not finding the story particularly compelling, but the actors make up for it. I feel Cush Jumbo is underutilised so far, but Jared Harris is excellent.
The Pact (2021)
Pointless.
The whole plot is nonsensical to begin with - grown women with functioning brains would have just come clean straight away so that they could be ruled out, as a stupid prank is nothing compared to murder.
My biggest frustration was how casually child exploitation was mixed into the plot, only for it to have no follow-up AT ALL. It only served to explain a suicide and to make us slightly sympathetic towards a character otherwise extremely horrible.
I thought they'd bring it up again to explain why this grown man targeted a school aged girl (I'm assuming this, given she had a school uniform on when they meet), but of course they didn't. Why get serious when you can instead go with a stupid twist that serves absolutely no purpose?
My favourite bit was the lady randomly making a move at the priest. Should have gone for it, since she's just going to spend the rest of her days in prison anyway.
Law & Order: Organized Crime: Everybody Takes a Beating Sometime (2021)
The Brazilian Portuguese mystery
The episode was well paced but I still need to understand why make a character speak Brazilian Portuguese when it's obvious not the actor's language? It was awkward and I had to rewatch it a couple times in order to even get what she was trying to say.
Viewpoint (2021)
Uninteresting, boring, lazy, dull, bland writing.
I'd like to understand how this script came to be. They seem to have a decent budget, but couldn't come up with a weaker, lazier story if someone wacked them in the head with it. What on earth happened here?
The actors are more wooden than Pinocchio - who at least has a soul - and look like they're all about to fall asleep mid-sentence. The only saving grace was Bronagh Waugh, who seemed to be the only functional human around.
HOW and WHY would a professional get immediately tangled with someone who knew the victim and make such rookie mistakes? It's laughable. The single mother arc is tired at best - she clearly has a comfortable living situation. You're bored? Get a job, volunteer, do something. And why did they not analyse the whole building? I just..... what on earth.
This is lazy and shameful writing. We could be having more McDonald & Dodds episodes instead, also with far better main actors.
Happy Christmas (2014)
Pointless.
I've never written a review here, but this movie is so bad it made me decide to change that.
Now, I like slow paced, quiet movies. But this one is just slow paced, dull and boring - it doesn't offer anything. The most interesting bit was the conversation when they were drinking a beer with Lena Dunham's character.
Other than that, it's a gigantic plot hole - there's neither explanation nor consequence to help us understand why Jenny is the way she is or why she keeps getting passes for actions that are just not okay.
And then it ends like that. Boom.
I guess if you're looking for something to help you fall asleep, this might be useful.