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Coventry
Main Entry: exclusion
Definition: expulsion; forbiddance
Synonyms: ban, bar, blackball, blockade, boycott, cut, debarment, debarring, discharge, dismissal, ejection, elimination, embargo, eviction, exception, excommunication, interdict, interdicting, interdiction, keeping out, lockout, nonadmission, occlusion, omission, ostracism, ousting, preclusion, prevention, prohibition, proscription, refusal, rejection, relegation, removal, repudiation, segregation, separation, suspension, veto
Antonyms: acceptance, addition, admittance, allowance, inclusion, incorporation, welcome
send to Coventry, to refuse to associate with; openly and pointedly ignore: His friends sent him to Coventry after he was court-martialed.
People from the music industry that I respect, idolize or just simply appreciate: Ennio Morricone, Amy McDonald, Daan, David Bowie, Therion, Pink Floyd, Leonard Cohen, Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Joy Division, Bobby Darin, the Everly Brothers, Bobby Vinton, Gene Pitney, Herman's Hermits, The Hollies, The Animals, The Byrds, Donovan, Vargoth, Drudkh, Behemoth, Triggerfinger, Falkenbach, Finntroll, Einherjer, The Smiths, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, BB King, Ministry, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Rufus Wainwright, The Allman Brothers Band, Johnny Cash, Paul Simon, Raymond Lefèvre, Children of Bodom, Volbeat, Elvis Presley, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, Anathema, Velvet Underground, Norah Jones, Fatboy Slim, Moloko, Angelo Badalmenti, Sarah Brightman, Lady Antebellum, Enigma, Muse, Army of Lovers, Chris Isaak, Lesley Gore, Kasabian, Pearl Jam, dEUS, Mumford & Sons, The Subs, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Cuff the Duke, Pulp, Oscar and the Wolf,
People from the movie industry that I respect, idolize or just simply appreciate: John Saxon, Mario Bava, Joe D'Amato, George Eastman, Darren Lynn Bousman, Boris Karloff, Enzo G. Castellari, Bo Svenson, Fred Williamson, Antonio Margheriti, Klaus Kinski, Lloyd Kaufman, James Gunn, Rob Zombie, Sid Haig, Matthew McGrory, Karen Black, Dennis Fimple, Irwin Keyes, Tom Towles, Bill Moseley, Wolfgang Petersen, Nicol Williamson, Fairuza Balk, Piper Laurie, Philippe Mora, Tom Holland, Ronny Cox, Lucio Fulci, Christopher George, Giovanni Lombardo Radice, Catriona MacColl, Fabio Frizzi, Nicolas Cage, Todd Farmer, Tom Atkins, Paul Verhoeven, Kurtwood Smith, Miguel Ferrer, Ray Wise, Stuart Gordon, H.P. Lovecraft, Jeffrey Combs, David Gale, Barbara Crampton, Fernando Di Leo, Joe Dallesandro, Terence Fisher, Anton Diffring, Hazel Court, Christopher Lee, Robert Stevenson, William Girdler, Rebecca De Mornay, Mako, Ti West, Tom Noonan, Mary Woronov, Paul Bartel, David Carradine, Roger Corman, Adrian Hoven, Monte Hellman, Warren Oates, Harry Dean Stanton, Steve Railsback, Ed Begley Jr., Peter Fonda, Nathan Juran, Lionel Jeffries, James Glickenhaus, Ken Wahl, Joaquim de Almeida, Sam Peckinpah, William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Ben Johnson, Edmond O'Brien, Kurt Raab, Helene Cattet & Bruno Forzani, Karl Freund, Peter Lorre, Colin Clive, William Lustig, Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro, Tom Savini, Charles B. Pierce, Robert Wise, Fred Dekker, Fritz Lang, David Hemmings, Michael Ironside, Jan-Michael Vincent, Bette Davis, Joseph Cotten, Agnes Moorehead, Victor Buono, George Kennedy, Charles Bronson, Richard Fleischer, Elmore Leonard, Paul Koslo, Michael Winner, Brian Garfield, Lee Marvin, J. Lee Thompson, Riz Ortolani, Yul Brunner, Eli Wallach, Robert Vaughn, James Coburn, Steve McQueen, Michael Crichton, James Brolin, Mel Brooks, arry Cohen, Michael Moriarty, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Robin Hardy, Edward Woodward, Britt Ekland, Ingrid Pitt, Peter Cushing, Michael Gough, Herbert Lom, Udo Kier, Michael Reeves, Vincent Price, Ian Ogilvy, Dick Maas, Henri-Georges Clouzot, Paul Naschy, Paul Morrissey, Truman Capote, Peter Falk, Alec Guinness, David Niven, Elsa Lanchester, Peter Sellers, Gene Wilder, Patrick McGoohan, Herb Freed, Richard Kiel, John Landis, Tim Curry, Simon Pegg, Jenny Agutter, Frank Oz, Dario Argento, Quentin Tarantino, Everett De Roche, Stacy Keach, Russell Mulcahy, Brian Trenchard-Smith, Donald Pleasence, George Peppard, Simon Wincer, Narciso Ibáñez Serrador, Gary Sherman, Faith Domergue, Alexandre Aja, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Eli Roth, Ishirô Honda, Greydon Clark, Cybill Shepherd, Neville Brand, Vincent Schiavelli, Martin Landau, Jack Palance, Alan Rudolph, Jonathan Demme, Pam Grier, Mark L. Lester, Malcolm McDowell, Patrick Kilpatrick, Don Dohler, Everett McGill, Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Jake Busey, Charlton Heston, Lorne Greene, Walter Matthau, Peter Bogdanovich, Woody Allen, John Milius, Franco Nero, Crispin Glover, Dennis Hopper, Dick Miller, Barbara Steele, Armando Crispino, Sergio Grieco, Helmut Berger, Lee Van Cleef, Robert Forster, John Huston, Melvyn Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., George Miller, Mel Gibson, Robert Rodriguez, George Hilton, Kane Hodder, Michael Madsen, Tony Todd, Nicolas Winding Refn, William Grefe, Cirio H. Santiago , Joe Dante, Don Coscarelli, Angus Schrimm, Tobe Hooper, Tiffany Shepis, Brad Dourif, George P. Cosmatos, John Boorman, Stephen Boyd, Tommy Lee Jones, Rod Steiger, Brian DePalma, Gunnar Hansen, George A. Romero, Simon Boyes, Adam Mason, Jack Arnold, M. Emmet Walsh, James Stewart, Darren McGavin, Kathleen Quinlan, Jack Lemmon, Robert Foxworth, Olivia De Havilland, Michael Pataki, Jerry Stiller, John Carradine, Julian Sands, Freddie Francis, Don Sharp, William Castle, Bill Rebane, John De Bello, Terry O'Quinn, Peter Sykes, Wes Craven, Michael Sarrazin, Lewis Teague, Yaphet Kotto, Sergio Stivaletti, John Phillip Law, Michele Soavi, Umberto Lenzi, Anna Falchi, Lon Chaney, Sergio Martino, Edwige Fenech, Ursula Andress, Michael Sopkiw, Edmund Purdom, Hal Yamanouchi, Barbara Bach, Cameron, Mitchell, Alberto De Martino, Ernesto Gastaldi, Maurizio Merli, John Steiner, Mel Ferrer, Barbara Bouchet, Marty Feldman, Tomas Milian, Bruno Mattei, Lamberto Bava, Luc Merenda, Anita Strindberg, Luigi Pistilli, Ivan Rassimov, Sergio Corbucci, Tito Carpi, David Warbeck, Luciano Pigozzi, Gianfranco Giagni, Florinda Balkan, Rosalba Neri, Mel Welles, Dagmar Lassander, Neil Jordan, Walter Huston, Ray Bradbury, Gregory Peck, Orson Welles, Bert I. Gordon, H.G. Wells, Ida Lupino, Kirk Douglas, David Lynch, Eddie Romero, Bela Lugosi, Al Adamson, Tor Johnson, Edward D. Wood Jr, David Cronenberg, Christopher Walken, Tom Skeritt, Martin Sheen, Dino De Laurentiis, James Wan, Anthonhy Perkins, Curtis Harrington, Julie Harris, Ornella Muti, Ray Lovelock
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Barking at the Moon
BIFFF 2020
Worst '80s slashers
Reviews
Heretic (2024)
Hugh is a Creep. Hugh is a Weirdo.
What the hell is Hugh doing here? Hugh doesn't belong here...
Or maybe, just maybe, Hugh does belong here! Maybe horror is Hugh's true calling, and did he waste 30 years of his career on romantic comedies! That's an exaggeration, of course, and I still love most of his silly rom coms. Fact is, though, that Hugh Grant gives away a perplexing performance as the disturbing and terrifying villain in "Heretic".
There's a lot more about Scott Beck & Bryan Wood's "Heretic" that deserves praise and attention! I didn't expect a horror script full of theological enquiries and debates, and I most certainly didn't expect that I would be so fascinated by the subject! Perhaps it's purely thanks to Hugh Grant's uncanny charisma as Mr. Reed, and the way he intimidates and petrifies two innocent young Mormon girls that show up on his doorstep, but the more talkative "Heretic" became, the more I loved it. Reed is like an eloquent big bad wolf, preying on two cherubic but naïve Little Red Riding Hoods. It's an absorbing thriller spectacle that keeps you gazing at the screen with amazement for half the film. And you know what's most intriguing? Many things Reed says about various aspects of religion make total sense!
When "Sisters" Barnes and Paxton are lured into Reed's eerie basement, "Heretic" maneuvers into more familiar and grotesque territory. Theory is put into practice and verbal terror turns into physical horror, which somehow makes the film less unique. Some action was necessary, I reckon, and luckily "Heretic" remains entertaining and suspenseful throughout.
PS: the link with Radiohead's "Creep" in the first couple of lines isn't coincidental. The film makes great use of the brilliant song, as well as of "The Air that I Breath" by The Hollies.
The Substance (2024)
Balance! It's all about balance...
For those also old enough to remember... I recall, in 1996, one of the most hyped and anticipated films of the year was "Striptease", and this for the sole reason that Demi Moore had a couple of topless scenes. She was in her early thirties and at the absolute peak of her beauty and career. In 2024, for "The Substance", Demi Moore does numerous full and very explicit nude sequences at the age of 61 (!) and after a long & difficult time in her life/career. Why am I writing this? Simply to emphasize what a phenomenally courageous and unique performance she gives here. Endless respect.
Demi Moore isn't the only (woman) who deserves praise, though. Margaret Qualley is extraordinary as well, and what to say of writer/director Coralie Fargeat? Practically out of nowhere (*), she comes up with the greatest and most astounding accomplishment in body-horror of the past 30-35 years! Infamous directors in this domain, like David Cronenberg or Frank Hennenlotter can only be jealous of "The Substance". I realize that's quite a statement to make, but it's pure truth.
It would be a shame to describe the plot too much in detail, but since it's so good and relevant I do want to reveal a little bit. Faced with the painful reality that women over fifty aren't welcome in the film & television industry, Elisabeth Sparkle sees her TV-fitness show cancelled because her sleazy producer wants someone fresh and younger. She stumbles upon an innovative but clandestine and highly secretive treatment. For seven consecutive days Elisabeth transforms into Sue, a ravishing younger version of herself, and builds out a successful new career. The next seven days, though, Elisabeth must recover and stabilize in her "old" body. It works amazingly, but there are strict set of rules to follow, and the most important one is balance, balance, balance...
"The Substance" is an all-round fascinating experience. The script is full of strong messages and biting satire, but Fargeat brings it imaginatively and doesn't shove any morals down our throats. Hollywood discriminates ageing women. TV-studios are still run by white & perverted elderly males. Strong women should support each other but don't. Popularity doesn't depend on talent but on looks and the willingness to show bare flesh. Etc. By the way, with all the nudity and numerous close-up of female bottoms in this movie, it simply had to be directed by a women. It's unthinkable that a male director could have made "The Substance" today! Apart from great story and stellar performances, the film also excels in the depiction of shocking images (the transformations) and outrageous gore. The final act, in particular, is something you won't easily recover from.
(*) Fargeat did direct the Rape & Revenge thriller "Revenge" in 2017. Haven't seen that one yet, but I heard and read great things about it as well.
Don't Move (2024)
Don't care, don't bother...
You want to believe "Don't Move" is a genuine edge-of-your-seat suspense thriller but, sadly, it's just another formulaic cat-and-mouse showdown between an unlikely serial killer and a (not-so-) defenseless victim. There's a gimmick, namely that the hunter injects his prey with a paraplegic serum so that she can barely run off or scream for help, but it honestly doesn't add much value to the plot. The writers also attempt to give slightly more depth to the two lead characters, but also that is unremarkable. The damsel-in-distress is a grieving mother and was considering suicide before her ordeal began. Not so special. The killer is a father/husband leading a double life. Okay, that's interesting, but not elaborated. The plot is predictable in a sense that you know everyone who tries to help Iris will die a gruesome death.
Pharaoh's Curse (1957)
Walk like an Egyptian. Sleep like a Pharaoh... But then, rampage like a Mummy!
Half asleep and bored to my senses, I checked the timer to see how far along I was into watching "Pharaoh's Curse". It was at 32 minutes... I don't have to tell you it's quite problematic and frustrating when nothing even remotely significant has happened after 32 minutes, especially if the total running time of the film is only 66 minutes! I considering turning it off, but I'm glad I didn't because the second half suddenly became eventful, fun, and quite good!
During the first half we learn there are riots in Cairo because of an archeological mission. The local populace protests because they fear the careless British treasure seekers will desecrate the tombs of the pharaoh, and thus the military sends Captain Storm and Sylvia - the wife of lead archaeologist Dr. Quentin - into the desert to go and abort the mission. That, ladies & gentlemen, covers the first half hour: people talking, people strolling through the desert, and Sylvia falling in love with a man other than her husband. They arrive too little too late, obviously, because the tomb has been opened. It does mean the start of entertaining second half, though!
Suddenly there's room for a cool plot about an ancient curse, a random Egyptian servant who turns into a creepy 3000-year-old mummy, victims going into a catatonic state to get murdered more easily, the nasty dissection of an arm (!), the lead archaeologist turning into an obsessive maniac, and Sylvia not even having to file for divorce. 30 minutes well spent!
Time Cut (2024)
Try to look beyond the Slasher façade...
Many people claim this is a Netflix rip-off of the Prime horror-hit "Totally Killer". Could be, but I haven't seen that one yet, and thus I can refer only to "Time Cut" as being a fresh and relatively innovative slasher-flick with the gimmick of time traveling.
I never thought I'd write this, but you shouldn't watch this movie for the nasty kills or for the killer's scary mask, but for writer/director's Hannah Macpherson's emotional & realistic approach of the dramatic impact and aftermath of murder tragedies. This is - to my knowledge - one of the first films to illustrate the suffering of parents after the sudden loss of a child, the everlasting trauma of an entire town, and the emptiness in the lives of siblings who always get compared to their deceased brother/sister. I am now probably overpraising "Time Cut", but I really appreciate this film more as a psychological drama instead as another typical (and redundant) teen slasher.
In April 2024, the talented but neglected teenager Lucy prepares herself to join her parents for the annual memorial ritual in honor of her sister Summer, who died in 2003 by the hands of a serial killer that never got caught. When she stumbles upon a weird machine in a barn, she inexplicably gets catapulted 21 years back into time; - mere days before the murders begin. Lucy meets and befriends her sister, and with her knowledge of the future she can prevent the tragedy from happening... But then Lucy discovers the murder of her sister is the sole reason of her existence.
As a slasher or a period teen comedy, "Time Cut" is quite weak. The kills are tame and bloodless, and the focus of the plot is not on suspense or mystery. The element of timelapse results in a few semi-comical situations (like the use of a modem to connect to the internet) and a couple of nostalgic musical choices (Vanessa Carlton, Hilary Duff, Wheatus, Avril Lavigne, ...). "Time Cut" is admirable for its ideas. There are a few clever and unexpected - and perhaps slightly too ambitious - twists near the finale, too. People might dislike the film because it's a mediocre slasher, but try to look beyond this facade, and you might find a decent coming-of-age melodrama.
La dolce casa degli orrori (1989)
Kids that blow bubblegum bubbles at funerals deserve to be orphans!
In my mind there's an eternal debate ongoing about who my favorite director of all times is. Mario Bava, ...or Lucio Fulci. Whenever I lean towards Fulci, I deliberately exclude some of the titles he directed in the final years of his career. "The Sweet House of Horror" is perhaps the worst, but it's still a genuine Lucio Fulci; - meaning there's extreme gore! And that is peculiar because it's made-for-television with a child-friendly plot.
The start is quite dramatic, with a happily married couple coming home from a night out and stumbling upon a violent burglar who murders them. Of course, in Fulci's world, this means that the husband repeatedly gets his head banged against a marble pillar until his brains are stuck to the wall, and the wife is bludgeoned with a kitchen object until her eyeballs pop out. Classy! The couple's children - Marco and Sarah - are supposedly heartbroken, but they blow bubblegum bubbles at the funeral and appear to be giggling the entire time. Auntie Marcia and Uncle Carlo take custody of the kids and move into their house, but the actual parents return as well, as ghosts and flickering flames, to punish their killer and to prevent their house from being sold.
The aforementioned kills, plus the nasty death of Guido under a truck and a bizarre melting moment during the finale, are the only highlights. The rest of the movie is almost painful to watch, with terrible acting (and even worse dubbing), especially the children. Fulci doesn't bother to keep the killer's identity secret for long, and he gets what he deserves after half a movie already. Why did he bother to wear a mask, anyway? The other half is stuffed with sentimental appearances of mum & dad, shenanigans with bulldozers and obese real-estate agents, and meaningless glowing stones.
It's What's Inside (2024)
Different, daring, ... but (slightly) dull.
"It's What's Inside" didn't start out too promising for me. There's an overload of hashtags, newsfeeds, likes, reels, and other social media related slang/idiom being thrown at you, and because of that I promptly hated all the characters. My excuse is I'm 43 years old and grumpy, sorry. And yet, I probably couldn't turn the movie off if I wanted to. There's also something intriguing and innovative about this Netflix production.
The pivotal element of the story is body swapping. Usually the subject of light-hearted comedies ("Freaky Friday") or silly slashers ("Freaky"), but writer/director Greg Jardin has a dark and grim thriller in mind. On the day before his wedding, the groom's college friends come together at an eccentric house for a last night of partying, alcohol and soft-dugs abuse, and probably adultery as well. As usual with groups like these, they pretend to be BFFs but, in reality, there's nothing but envy, jealousy and hatred amongst them. One of them, Forbes, is a technical genius and developed a machine able to transfer people's minds into different bodies. When they use it to play "games", their lives change forever.
You could, of course, raise the question why a scientifically groundbreaking & dangerous machine is being tested for the first time at a drunken bachelor party, but that'll only ruin the fun. I also won't go too much into detail about what happens during the body swaps, but it's a lot ...and at the same time not much at all. My main complaint regarding "It's what's Inside" is overly talkative and short on action. Even when something terrible happens (and that is, admittedly, a great sequence) the action still doesn't kick-start like it should. There are a few admirable twists near the end and a nicely bleak finale, but overall, it's slightly too dull to be a real memorable highlight. Good attempt, though.
El aullido del diablo (1988)
The wonderfully wild & wicked monster-world of Paul Naschy!
Thanks to the nostalgic "Hombre Lobo" series I have always been a fan of Paul Naschy, but it's only since I discovered his obscure but far more personal and delightfully absurd efforts that I consider him as one of my favorite people of the horror/exploitation of all times. The werewolf movies occasionally aired on late night television or in Halloween specials, but it took specialized DVD-labels to make available Naschy's spectacularly peculiar highlights, such as "Panic Beats", "Human Beasts", "The Hanging Woman", "The Hunchback of the Rue Morgue", and this awesomely entertaining "Howl of the Devil".
The written message at the start of the film demonstrates what a fantastic person Naschy was. He's a cult deity and horror monument himself, and yet he dedicates the film to the idols of his own childhood; - like Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney, and generally everyone who contributed to the Universal monster classics from the 1930s and 1940s.
The plot of "Howl of the Devil" is absurd, but Naschy can get away with everything, as far as I'm concerned. It's an unbelievably fun homage to classic horror from the Universal period, albeit mixed with typically nasty and sleazy exploitation storylines from the 70s and early 80s. Like he always does, Naschy surrounds himself with gorgeous woman that spontaneously undress for him, and he also arranged that he could wear the make-up of the most legendary horror villains in history. Once more, well-played Paul.
Hector Doriani is an actor frustrated because his sophisticated and elegant career choices never had any success, whereas his twin brother Alex became rich and famous because he exclusively starred in filthy and blood-soaked horror movies. Alex mysteriously died, and Hector lives in his house, together with his brother's loyal old servant Eric, the voluptuous maid Carmen, and his nephew Adrian. The latter has difficulties with his father's death and has meetings with a range of imaginary friends that represent the horror roles his dad used to play. This is how Naschy fixed for himself to play Frankenstein's Monster, Rasputin, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the Hunchback, Fu Manchu, the Wolf Man, Bluebeard, the Phantom of the Opera, etc. Etc. Hector orders Eric to bring home beautiful and lewd women, but they all die horrid and gruesome deaths for some strange reason. And if all this isn't bonkers enough just yet, there's also a sexist priest and a Peeping Tom roaming around.
Well, okay, obviously I'm biased ... but "Howl of the Devil" simply offers the most fun you can possibly imagine when watching a horror flick. The nostalgic monsters actually don't do much, but there are plenty of grisly murders committed by a black-gloved killer, tons of gratuitous nudity, insane gore effects, and a phenomenal climax that needs to be seen to be believed. I love Paul Naschy, and I love him even more when he casts the legendary Howard "Dr. Orloff" Vernon and the still stupendous looking Caroline Munro.
Stranger Things: Chapter One: MADMAX (2017)
Something evil is coming...
Nearly a year has passed since the sinister events in Hawkins, Indiana. Although it looks that life is getting back to normal, there are several elements foreshadowing a new series of frightening occurrences. Will still occasionally has visions of the Upside Down, Barb's parents continue to search for ways to get into contact with their missing daughter, all the Halloween pumpkins in the nearby fields have gone rotten overnight, and Sheriff Hopper has been hiding (and homing) a familiar-looking secret all year! Luckily, there are also some positive vibes, as Dustin finally finds his match in the Arcade video game hall, and it turns out to be an intriguing girl.
Season two starts off exactly like we hoped and expected. The pacing is slow & leisurely (though the pre-credits opening is virulent), but the atmosphere is ominous and the tension is already mounting from the very first moment we re-enter Hawkins. The beloved gang's all here, but there are a couple of promising new faces. We have Joyce's new love interest Bob (who loves silly 80s comedies like "Mr. Mom"), Murray Bauman the conspiracy theorist, and mysterious new arrivals Billy Hargrove and Max "Madmax" Mayfield. It's going to be a great season; - I can feel it. I can hear it, too, thanks to a few mighty classics on the soundtracks, like "Talking in your Sleep" and "Rock you like a Hurricane".
Scream VI (2023)
An overload of Meta-horror gibberish
Unlike most members of the worldwide horror-loving community, I have never been a big fan of "Scream" and wasn't at all excited for the series' revival back in 2022. I found the requel - still hate that term - terribly disappointing. Then why do you continue to watch and review new sequels, I hear you think? Good question! FOMO, I guess.
Well, the good news is that I can start with two positive observations. At least Bettinelli-Olpin and Gillett brought back the franchise-numbering. "Scream 5" was simply titled "Scream", and everybody knows that stop giving the sequels a number is a lousy and cheap trick to distract audiences. Secondly, the duo of directors also dragged aboard the magnificent lead actress from their film "Ready or Not". Admittedly Samantha Weaving's role her is small and thankless, but she remains a talented and stunningly beautiful actress. Love her.
That's it for the good news, as far as I'm concerned. The rest of "Scream 6" is the same old, predictable, unrealistic, unpleasant, pretentious, and not-nearly-as-witty-as-they-think slasher chaos as before. Once again, the script bluntly repeats the best gimmicks and suspense moments of previous entries, like a subway train full of Ghostface masks, but adds absolutely nothing new or even remotely refreshing. The mere idea that gruesome stabbings are committed in every alley or apartment block in New York, but nobody notices, cares, or does anything to help is unacceptable for me. The climax and mandatory so-called "surprise-twist" is oh-so predictable again, and it annoys me that the writers still assume we - the viewers - don't consider the possibility of multiple culprits, fake deaths, or unlikely suspects. Still, though, what annoys me even more is all the hopelessly annoying meta-horror gibberish around franchise rules, killers' next moves, and horror genre expertise. Oh, and also that we're supposed to accept Ghostface can easily sneak into every building, stands up two seconds after getting hit with a frying pan or falling through a glass table, etc.
The acting performances are getting worse every time as well. I'm a big fan of Jenna Ortega, but after "Wednesday" and a few other acclaimed works, she seemingly starts thinking stuff like "Scream 6" is below her. Courteney Cox probably thinks that since "Scream 2" already, and Neve Campbell was wise enough to pass. Sure, there's a lot of action and plenty of gore, and that's why horror fanatics (myself included) will continue to watch several more sequels. But, please, let's stop referring to "Scream" as a superior series or intelligent.
Old People (2022)
Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I... kill the ones you love?
Horror movies - brutal and/or gory ones - in which the menace comes from senior citizens aren't new, but they are obviously not as numerous as, say, splatter flicks with clowns or evil children. I can only think of the awesome "Hombodies" and the surprisingly fun "Cockneys vs. Zombies" right now, but surely there are more. Still, the German "Old People" is a worthy addition, and writer/director Andy Fetscher cleverly incorporated the post-Covid19 aspect. What do I mean by that? Many elderly folks spend days in utter loneliness, put away in retirement homes and barely receiving visits from their families. During the Covid and lockdown years, it even became worse because (great-)grandparents were often excluded from family "bubbles". Would it be so abnormal or unjust if old people started a violent revolt against society and younger generations?
"Old People" is not bad, or at least not hopelessly bad, but it's quite painful to behold how it easily could have been a lot better. The rudimentary idea has potential (although I still haven't figured out if the seniors where possessed, infected, or simply furious) and I certainly dug how brutal and uncompromisingly violent the movie is. Certain scenes, like the opening and notably the wedding night interruption, are downright nasty. The "leader" of the geriatric pack is not the type of creep you wish to find hiding in your bedroom or behind the kitchen door. Sadly, though, the whole thing feels too much like an amateurish, incompetent, and derivative mess. Fetscher fails to make you root - or even feel empathy - for anyone, neither the terrified family nor the seniors. He also reverts to some of the genre's biggest and most dreadful clichés, like the poor kid with the inhaler who's more likely to die from an asthma-attack than from a knife in his chest, or dad's much younger new girlfriend who's cowardly and selfish. Worst of all, and this even costs "Old People" a full point in my final rating, is the ridiculous climax that wants us to believe singing a godawful nostalgic family song may save your life. Oh puh-lease!
*Note: the title of the user comment refers to the lyrics of "When I'm 64" by The Beatles.
Caramelle da uno sconosciuto (1987)
(Street) Sisters are doing it for themselves!
The Italian Giallo had lost a lot of its power and appeal in the 1980s. There were less titles, and almost none of them became an actual classic, like several of their counterparts back in the 1970s. And yet, if you're a true fan of the sub-genre - like I am - and take the effort to deep-dive into the obscure catalogue, you'll find there are multiple worthwhile 80s Gialli. "Tenebrae", "A Blade in the Dark", "Stagefright", "The Killer is Still Among Us", "Nothing Underneath", "Midnight Ripper", "Off Balance", "Too Beautiful to Die", "Opera", "Delirium", "The Monster of Florence", ... These are all examples of fine 80s Gialli, and today I would like to add "Sweets from a Strangers" to the list.
This (unjustly) forgotten thriller from writer/director Franco Ferrini (acolyte and frequent collaborator of none other than Dario Argento) has a simple yet very clever and effective plot. There's a serial killer active on the streets of a non-specifically mentioned city, and he/she is exclusively targeting prostitutes. Since the police is not exactly motivated to search for the killer intensely, the wisest and most senior prostitutes call together a "council" and agree to look after each other, defend themselves, and subtly hunt for the killer. This, of course, leads to paranoia and innocent victims, while the real culprit carelessly continues to spread terror.
The idea sounds so obvious, and yet it's quite a breakthrough and turnaround for Giallo-cinema! Prostitutes very frequently appear in these films, but they only serve as defenseless victims that provide the Giallo with nudity and sleaze before they get barbarically slaughtered. Here, they're also still victims, but the protagonists are prostitutes as well; - and even eloquent, intelligent, and forceful ones. The opposite goes for the police. The big hero of the story is often a rough and robust cop, whereas in "Sweets from a Stranger" the only noteworthy police officer only appears halfway into the story, and he's a bozo only interested in dating the elite escort girl.
Of course, what you fear the most in a plot like this is also true. "Sweets from a Stranger" rapidly turns into a melodrama and a social satire, with heart-breaking background stories of women who never received any fair chances or got pushed into prostitution, the daily struggles of elderly & faded street flowers, drugs or alcohol addictions, lack of empathy from the neighborhood, etc. Ferrini luckily also remembers that his effort is primarily a Giallo and ensures that all the trademarks are there. The killer wears black gloves and uses a razor, the actual murders are messy but violent, and the soundtrack is very good. But, most importantly, the finale (the revelation of the killer's identity and motives) is sublime! Honestly, for me, the end-twist is so great that I'm awarding "Sweets from a Stranger" with a 7/10 instead of the 6/10 that I had in mind until a couple of minutes before the ending.
Woman of the Hour (2023)
Bachelor #3 loves long walks on the beach, dinner by candlelight, and ... strangling innocent women with his bare hands!
Based on a true story, vicious serial killer, set in the late 1970s, featuring the lovely and multi-talented Anna Kendrick, and ... directed by that same lovely and multi-talented Anna Kendrick! More than enough reasons for me to check out "Woman of the Hour" as soon as it became available via Netflix, and it certainly didn't disappoint!
This is why I am so intrigued by true-crime stories. They are far more incredible and deranged than fiction. If you wrote a script about a serial killer participating in a popular TV-dating show, after already two convictions and imprisonments for sexual delinquencies, nobody would find it realistic or plausible. And yet, it's what really happened in September of 1978, when Rodney Alcala partook - and won - an episode of "The Dating Game" as the witty amateur-photographer Bachelor #3.
Alcala's television appearance is just a mere footnote in his "career", and Anna Kendrick (who also depicts Cheryl Bradshaw; - the woman who chooses him for a date) realizes this as well. "Woman of the Hour" also re-enacts a few of Alcala's previous crimes, like the murder of a stewardess that remained unsolved until 2011 and the kidnapping and attempted murder of a 15-year-old runaway girl. In parallel, Kendrick illustrates the difficulties and dangers that aspiring and naïve young actresses had to face in Hollywood in the late 70s. Perhaps it's not the best true-crime thriller you'll ever see, but "Woman of the Hour" has and handful of efficiently suspenseful moments, a good cast (Autumn Best and Daniel Zovatto also give away strong performances), excellent 70s decors & vibes, and a confident & promising director.
Stranger Things: Chapter Eight: The Upside Down (2016)
Behold, at last, the Demogorgon in all its glory!
Sheriff Hopper and Joyce attempt to enter the Upside Down via the gateway inside Hawkins' Lab but get caught. Or was that Hopper's intention all along? While the boys stay with El, who's recovering from her exhausting bathtub experience, Nancy and Jonathan are determined to lure the monster out of its dimension and violently confront it... And Steve discovers that Nancy has better things to do with her time than cheat on him!
"The Upside Down" - episode 8 - is pretty much everything you can hope and expect the season's finale of an awesome television series to be. The monstrous Demogorgon finally shows itself fully and extendedly, and of course it turns out to be an astoundingly creepy and hideous creature worthy of a cult-status. The bad guys (and the one bad woman) get what they bloody well deserve, thanks to El's seemingly inexhaustible super-powers. And - most importantly - is there still hope for Will, or was it all for nothing?
Many answers are provided, but still also more than enough questions remain open and brand new little mysteries are created to ensure everyone is already looking forward to season two. Sheriff Hopper particularly acts strange when he leaves the hospital, and the Beyer house doesn't seem to be purified entirely, neither. It took me an awful long time to finally check out "Stranger Things", which I obviously regret now, but I know for certain I won't wait long to dive into season 2, 3, 4 (and 5?)
Stranger Things: Chapter Seven: The Bathtub (2016)
All for one, ... All for Will!
The "believers" in the 3 different search parties finally come together in the penultimate episode, but not before the boys and Eleven make a spectacular escape from the large army of bad guys that surrounded the Wheeler's residence. Instead of teleporting their BMX bikes in the sky, like in "E. T.", Eleven causes for one of the creepy vans to catapult in the air, which results in one of the most memorable scenes of season one. Eventually, they all entrench themselves in the school's gym and build a sensory deprivation tank for Eleven to sink deep in her subconsciousness and locate Will in the Upside Down.
As you sense the denouement approaching, the tension and uncanniness are mounting as well. Unable to apprehend his beloved "experiment" Eleven, you feel that the evil Dr. Brenner (Matthew Modine) is ready to revert to violence and collateral damage when he's entering the Wheeler's house. Although, it must be said that his supposedly tough henchmen are not too bright and easily get defeated by a quartet of teens and a fatigue Sheriff. El's mental descent into the Upside Down guarantees for a wide variety of creepy imagery, sad discoveries (remember Barb?), and the ideal prelude for an eventful season's finale.
Stranger Things: Chapter Six: The Monster (2016)
What's that coming from within the tree, is it ...
The monster? It certainly is! Nancy and Jonathan narrowly escaped from the most terrifying encounter of their lives. Just when they seek a little bit of comfort with each other, Nancy's boyfriend Steve sees them, and it leads to a different kind of battle. Sheriff Hopper and Joyce join forces and are on the trail of a missing kid, but it's not Will. The boys search for the gateway to the Vale of Shadows with their compasses, but it leads to an argument between Mike and Lucas.
Six episodes far into the first season, and I can honestly say that I'm hooked! There's no more building up atmosphere or loose ends, everything that happens now is relevant and leads to immediate and fast-paced action. The eloquent and surprisingly wise Dustin continues to be my favorite character, together - of course - with the lovely Nancy, who struggles with a wide variety of emotions. The ending of "The Monster" is sublime, with Eleven showcasing the width of her telepathic powers on a whole new level. Wow! The soundtrack highlight of this episode is the sinister - and thus very fitting for the show - "Sunglasses at Night".
Stranger Things: Chapter Five: The Flea and the Acrobat (2016)
Dungeons, Dragons, and Dustin to the Rescue!
Thanks to Eleven's hints and the game of Dungeons & Dragons, but mostly thanks to Dustin's nerdy cleverness and wit, the boys discover what the whereabouts of Will are. He's trapped in a parallel evil dimension. The Vale of Shadows. The Upside Down. All they need to do now, is find the gateway. Sheriff Hopper finds a gateway, but he does so by breaking into the mysterious facility. Many people gather for an emotional funeral service for Will, but the people closest to him continue their search immediately after.
Episode five is less good than the previous, but that is normal since "The Body" was uniquely fantastic and exhilarating. "The Flea and the Acrobat" is more talkative, but it's a joy to see the character of Dustin shine! Hey may does not have front teeth, but he certainly has a neat set of brains (and a lot of nerd-knowledge). The climax, with Jonathan and Nancy discovering petrifying things in the woods, is effectively tense. No particular musical highlights this time, but instead a beautiful homage to Sam Raimi's "The Evil Dead" when a characters says to remove the film poster because it's inappropriate.
Stranger Things: Chapter Four: The Body (2016)
Where there's a Will, there's a Way (to believe Will is still alive!)
The body found in the lake is unmistakably identified as Will Byers, but not everybody accepts the closure of the case. Joyce exclaims it isn't her son, but nobody takes her serious. Best friend Mike also feels Will is not dead, but he'll have to persuade his two pals with the help of El's psychic powers. Even Sheriff Hopper has doubts, mainly because the local coroner wasn't allowed to perform the autopsy and other suspicious clues that point towards the nearby science facility. While a wake for Will is being held at school, Nancy is still the only one worried about Barb's vanishing. She searches for answers and finds that Jonathan's creepy voyeur photos might be of help.
Even though very personal and the complete opposite of objective, I partially judge "Stranger Things" episodes on the greatness of the music and individual songs they feature. From that perspective, "The Body" must be the best episode of the series, because it contains the amazing (and amazingly underrated) song "Atmosphere" by Joy Division. Brilliant song by a brilliant band, and brilliantly used here during the depressing and sad opening sequences. Aside from the song, "The Body" simply is a fantastic episode. There's genuine emotion (notably coming from Winona Ryder's strong performance), suspense, morbidity, humor (when the boys prepare El for school), action, and a plot that becomes more absorbing by the minute.
Stranger Things: Chapter Three: Holly, Jolly (2016)
Say it with Christmas Lights!
Quiet but loyal friend Barb(ara) is not at school the day after she got stood up by her BFF Nancy, because the latter decided to offer herself to her boyfriend. Little does Nancy know that "something" took Barb. Is she where Will is? Joyce, Will's mother, is convinced that her boy is trying to reach out to her from wherever he is and develops an ingenious method to communicate with him through Christmas decorations. Of course, the rest of Hawkings - including her son Jonathan - assumes she's simply losing her sanity due to stress. Still hiding out in Mike's room, the boys help El(even) to develop her psychic abilities, but this rapidly leads to painful flashbacks.
While episode #2 was quite tame and uneventful, I have the (pleasant) impression "Stranger Things" is now rocket-launched with this excellent third installment. It features the first sequences with genuine suspense, like when little Holly uncannily wanders through Joyce's house when following the flickering lights, and creepy action as - via a flashback - it is shown what bloody powers Eleven has. Oh, and the episode has a cliffhanger that is guaranteed to make you want to binge watch. Less musical highlight in "Holly Jolly", with the exception of a marvelous version of David Bowie's "Heroes".
Stranger Things: Chapter Two: The Weirdo on Maple Street (2016)
Should Will stay or should Will go now?
Will Byers is still missing, but his courageous nerd-friends (Mike, Lucas, and Dustin) must abort their search because they bumped into the mysterious girl Eleven in the rainy forest and take her back to Mike's house. Her sudden appearance is undoubtedly linked to Will's disappearance. Will's older brother Jonathan is out searching as well, but he's drawn to spying on Mike's sister Nancy at her boyfriend's house with a pool, and he unknowingly registers a strange occurrence on his camera. Meanwhile, Sheriff Hopper becomes suspicious because it's too unfathomable that both a vanishing and a suicide in the normally so quiet village happen on the same day.
Like - sadly - often the case in highly acclaimed TV-series, the second episode is a lot less overwhelming and impressive as the pilot. We get to know the characters more, which is good since I think they all last for 4 or 5 seasons minimally, and the mystery builds up slow but steadily. Like Jonathan, I'm already falling for the unearthly cute (but terribly naïve) Nancy Wheeler. What a beauty, this Natalia Dyer! The musical highlights come from The Clash's epic "Should I Stay or Should I Go", and a terrific version of Paul Simon's "Hazy Shade of Winter" during the end credits. The title is a lovely reference to an ancient episode of "The Twilight Zone"
Ostatnia wieczerza (2022)
Straight out of Hell!
"Hellhole"... Although I can spontaneously think of three or four movies that are called like this, it nevertheless remains an awesomely cool title for a horror movie. Can you make your film sound even more sinister and grim? Well, yes, if you use the original title: "Ostatnia Wieczerza". It simply means "Last Supper" in English, but in Polish it sounds like two words coming straight out of hell...
As an advocate for pure, genuine, and bone-chilling horror I simply must spread some positivism about this Polish (semi-)gem. "Ostatnia Wieczerza" certainly isn't the greatest horror movie ever made, but the macabre atmosphere is terrific, the setting & characters are nightmarish, and the ending is... Well, wow, what an ending!
The story takes place in 1987 and revolves around a police officer going undercover in a primitive and secluded monastery, because the place seems connected to the cases of various young women who went missing. Not a whole lot happens during the first hour, admittedly, but the place and the people (and the soup) still give you the shivers. The best comparison I can make is probably with the mighty "The Name of the Rose" (1986), because - like in that classic - all the monks look pure evil, and the monastery is the absolute last place on earth you want to be.
Just when you start to get fed up with the lack of action and plot development, "Ostatnia Wieczerza" unleashes its demons... And you may take that quite literally. The last half hour is pure horror, with cruelty, bleakness, and shocking imagery that remains stuck in your head long afterwards. Heck, I even watched the entire end-credits, simply because I kept gazing at the screen and couldn't operate the remote.
El club de los lectores criminales (2023)
I Know You Read the Script of "Scream" Last Summer
Originality: zero points. But hey, if you read the synopsis and behold the film poster of "Killer Book Club", and you are still secretly hoping to see an original and unpredictable slasher mystery, then I am sorry to announce there's something very wrong with your expectation management. "Killer Book Club" - or "El Club de los Lectores Criminales" as it sounds much cooler in Spanish - delivers exactly what it promises: pretty & posh, but empty-headed teenagers getting brutally slashed by a freak in a rudimentary clown's mask. Too insulting for your IQ? Please watch "Poor Things" or "The Substance" instead.
This sick Netflix puppy takes its inspiration from the two biggest (not necessarily the best) horror blockbusters of the 1990s, namely "Scream" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer". A group of (fake) campus friends plan to scare the bejesus out of a pervy teacher who went #MeToo on a student, but their prank naturally results in a gruesome death. Immediately after the mandatory "I swear I'll never tell anyone!" sequence, the group finds themselves pursued and relentlessly killed by someone with a mask and a mountaineers' ice axe. Will you hope & pray for someone in the club to survive this horrible ordeal? Not particularly...
Your first guess for the killer's identity will probably already the right one. Every "twist" in the script is laughably predictable and even the finale is blatantly copied from the aforementioned 90s flicks. Don't think. Don't get annoyed. Simply enjoy the gore.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
The slow but effective rise of the Apes!
As an avid admirer of the original "Planet of the Apes" franchise, I deliberately avoided the new series (currently four titles and probably more to come) for years. But then I thought: what's the point? These could be very good movies as well. And they are! Or, at least, the first one is.
"Rise of the Planet of the Apes" is the definite beginning of the saga. It certainly isn't a remake of the 1968 Charlton Heston classic (although listed as such on IMDb) and it's much more of a prequel than "Escape from the Planet of the Apes" (1973) ever was. The script comes up with a much more plausible and realistic explanation of why (perhaps), in 200-300 years, apes will be the dominant species on our planet instead of humans. And, for once, we didn't destroy ourselves in nuclear wars, but medical science made a terrible mistake. Oops!
Will Rodman obsessively works on a medicine against Alzheimer's Disease, because he's losing his father to it. He reaches a breakthrough and tests it on his pet chimpanzee Caesar (whom he rescued from the lab) and on his father Charles (because his condition rapidly deteriorates). The results on both species are astounding, as Charles is miraculously cured, and Caesar develops a whole lot of incredible cognitive skills. Five years later, however, things still go horribly wrong (which is, I guess, the reason why conclusive tests for a new medicine take 10 years). Charles' Alzheimer returns and spreads faster, and exposure also leads to a slow but deadly and contagious virus. Chimpanzee Caesar becomes more aggressive and uncontrollable. His traumatizing imprisonment in a dreadful primate shelter with abusive guards, in combination with his superior cognitive skills, eventually lead to the titular uprise.
As you can derive from the plot summary, "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" has a slow and meticulously detailed build-up, and there isn't much action. Nevertheless, the plot is absorbing from start to finish, and the finale - taking place on the iconic Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco - is extremely rewarding! Although definitely a better film than Tim Burton's 2001 remake, it has to be said I prefer the special effects & make-up in that one. The motion capture techniques in "Rise" are state-of-the-art, for sure, but I swear by the genius of Rick Baker's craftsmanship.
Stranger Things: Chapter One: The Vanishing of Will Byers (2016)
In the beginning there was...Spielberg
You like 80s horror, right? Then you are going to LOVE "Stranger Things"! That's what I've been hearing from friends, and from random people on the Internet since several years now, but I've been reluctant because a) I'm a movie person, and don't have the patience for long-running TV-series, and b) the overall Netflix offer doesn't really appeal to me. I finally gave in, and of course "Stranger Things" is one of the first titles of the catalog I tried out.
I do love 80s horror, but when I think of 80s horror, I think of crazy mature classics like "Re-Animator", "Hellraiser", and "The Evil Dead". The only references and tributes I spotted in the first episode of "Stranger Thinks" are towards child-friendly Sci-Fi flicks like "The Goonies" and "E. T." But I must admit, the ominous atmosphere, the awesome 1983-vibes, and the potential of the plot are more than hopeful, and I am looking forward to discovering the rest of the series.
Episode one already features the vanishing of an innocent kid, a sinister secret science lab where monstrous beings escape from, lead characters with clearly a lot of background, a brutal scene in a roadside diner, and brilliant songs by Jefferson Airplane and Toto. How can you not get hooked? Bring on the rest...
Konferensen (2023)
What do you mean, IKEA is not coming?!?
Ever noticed how, in horror films, co-workers are always portrayed as loathsome and egocentric people that passionately hate each other? And especially when they're away on a retreat or team-building activity together? I think screenwriters do this deliberately to show "ordinary" people who work in offices and watch horror movies to relax - like me - that we don't have to complain about our own colleagues, after all.
The Swedish "Konferensen" is very similar to the British "Severance". In both films, fellow office workers, who can't stand each other, are taken out of their comfort zones to participate, very much against their will, in forced team-building activities somewhere in a remote location. The films also have in common they are both very light-hearted slashers without too much significance, but very entertaining, nevertheless.
In "Konferensen" we have the administrative employees and project-developers of a rural municipality who are obliged to spend a few days in a sort of boot camp, and at the same time celebrate their great recent achievement; - namely the building of a large shopping center on the grounds where a large, expropriated farm used to be. Lina, who has been absent for a few months due to a burnout, discovers that the over-ambitious Jonas has been falsifying permits and cheating landowners. There is also talk of leases for the new shopping center that don't seem to exist, such as IKEA. Can you imagine a shopping zone in Sweden without an IKEA?
When referring to farmers who were forcibly expropriated, you also know that you don't have to guess long for the identity of the bloodthirsty killer who soon starts butchering the participants one by one, whilst putting on the idiotic mask of the project mascot. It is also not the intention or ambition of writer/director Patrik Eklund to bring forward an original and incredibly intelligent horror film. He clearly just had a pitch-black comedy with a lot of blood, creative kills, and a bit of suspense in mind. He succeeds with "Konferensen".