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Reviews
Terrifier 3 (2024)
Utterly nonsensical garbage
I've never seen the first 2, maybe they are good...But the third one seems to undo everything they say that happened at the end of the second, one with no good explanation for it. It then has 90 minutes of pointless Body Horror kills that go nowhere, serve no purpose and really doesn't set anything up.
The third act then utterly fails to pay off what precious little they actually did manage to set up; and only serves to set up a cliffhanger end for a 4th movie...one that I pray never, ever gets made!
The film also can't decide what the hell it wants to be. Half of it is trying to be a slasher flick, the other half is trying to be Hellrsiser and they are both trying to be a Dario Argento Body Horror.
How this one has a good rating is a mystery to me.
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)
It's not bad, shame they didn't stick the landing!
I'd like to rate it higher, as the first 2 acts were very much on point; Entertaining, well written, well paced, visually impressive. There's some stand out moments and although Zegler & Blyth don't set the world on fire with their on screen chemistry, there's still enough of it there to buy in and get invested in the character, enough at least to care about their fates.
Alas, much like the last part of the Original Hunger Games trilogy, they failed to stick the landing. The third act goes om too long and is slow paced so it feels like it goes on even longer. The third act throws the leads somewhat weak chemistry on the clay pigeon launcher and shouts pull. The third act seems to want to be a far more intellectual film that sits terribly with the YA content that it's based on, which balances the film terribly.
I still enjoyed it, but the third act dragged the whole film down overall.
Count Abdulla (2023)
No, not even once
How I managed to sit through this show is nothing short of a miracle comparable to the one on the Hudson.
Every character is insufferable, every line grates on you like nails on a blackboard, while being delivered by an actor or actress as out of place and over the top, as the SNL crew trying to do the most serious of Shakespeare. Every joke is either as bland and inoffensive as a 1950s knock knock joke or as aggressively woke as a Lilly Singh skit on an American college campus.
I'm not sure if this show has any redeeming features, but I can't find them.... I don't know if the BBC made this show, but all their fingerprint hallmarks are there.
Babylon 5: The Road Home (2023)
Who are you? A B5 fan. What do you want? More please.
I was a little apprehensive when I heard the big announcement that it was an animated feature, turns out I needent have worried.
So many franchises are barely recognisable to their original fans. Whether thats for better or worse depends which side of the argument you are on.
But with Straczynski keeping the helm steady, B5 managed to make the jump from live action to animation and still feel like authentic B5, along with providing us an entertaining and enjoyable standalone story as well as a secret door option for a reboot/continuation, without undoing or ruining what came before.
Seeing so many beloved characters back in the screen was heart warming. Knowing exactly how many have been recast because the the actors/actresses died young is heart breaking.
But seeing everyone go around one more time was a genuine treat.
Extraction 2 (2023)
Second verse, just as impressive as the first!
You probably wouldn't bother watching Extraction 2 unless you were a fan of Extraction...so this is a film for fans of the original premise, people who love a no nonsense action film, with well done fights, shoot outs and set pieces. And anyone who enjoys that premise will struggle to find fault with this film. It gives you what you expect but more importantly it gives you what you want.
The plot is simple, the fights are extremely well choreographed, the action is fast paced and delivered in bucketloads, the visuals and effects are top notch; and its all held together by generally likable, smart but grounded characters, who compliment each other when it's their turn in the spotlight. Plus, Chris Hemsworth looks like he was born to play Tyler Rake.
I'd welcome an Extraction 3...hell, I'd even welcome an announcement of Extraction 4 right now.
Star Trek: Picard: No Win Scenario (2023)
A masterclass in balance!
Probabaly the best episode of Star Trek since Enterprise finished. And it stands up amongst some of the best of Trek.
This season continues to impress, whilst simultaneously standing as a tragic testimonial to what Picard could have been from the start, given the right team behind it.
It had heart, it made you feel but it didn't need the crew breaking down in tears every 5 minutes to remind you to feel it. It had tension, but it didn't need boatloads of exposition to produce it. It was well written, the characters have substance...it was just all round class.
That Picard Season 3 has managed to unite Trek purists and new Trek enthusiasts alike, shows that you you don't need to pick a side...if the team making the show doesn't force you to pick one.
Velma (2023)
No, just No...No, Non, Nein, Net, Geen, Bú, Nei
It's not just bad...its so aggressively bad!
1 and a half episodes is all I could get through.
This is a show with zero redeeming features and even less quality. The only reason to give it 2 stars rather than 1, is because I truly don't believe most of the things that get one star actually deserve it. One star territory is for when the product is utterly nonsensical or the showrunner comes to your house and covers you in bees after watching.
Alas this one earns its second star by at least making narative sense and no bee bath afterwards. Other than that, its a failure in every way that a show can be a failure. Practically every joke falls flat and the few that don't, well they at best give rise to a slight smile behind a head turn of cringe.
I just don't know who this show was made for? It seems to be as popular as a fart in a space suit...and it's just as unwelcome.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
As a big fan of the original, I demanded greatness!
With franchises getting butchered left and right and sequels to blockbusters of the past failing to deliver (ID: Resurgence I'm looking at you), I was terrified this film was going to suck.
As a massive fan of the original, I was always going to judge this film harshly too...so anything less than a perfect sequel would, in my view, just suck to varying degrees.
And yet they nailed it. Smashed it out of the park, hit it for 6, nothing but net, top corner from 30 yards.
This film is a true successor to the original. No it's not a deconstruction of the action movie and it's not there to subvert anything.
Truth be told, quite a lot is a retread of the first one, you can often see the next scene comming...but it's all done so perfectly, I simply don't care.
If you're a fan of the original, I can't see how anyone would have anything but absolute love for this perfect sequel.
Yeah, the standards edgelords might complain that it's a recruitment commercial and hell, I was ready to join up myself after (and I'm afraid of heights)...and I still don't care.
The Orville (2017)
Season 4...make it happen
Season 1 was very entertaining. Season 2 had a shaky start but pulled it back excellently in the second half. So Season 3...
Probabaly the best season so far. Excellent storytelling, pay offs from storylines set up well; and characters that feel either relatable, genuine or both. A timely reminder, as if it were needed, that you can deliver social commentary without insulting the audience, as long as you make the commentary an element of the story and don't make the story an element of the commentary.
Yes, the comedy ratio wildly varies between episodes but I'm actually fine with that, because it varies with the seriousness of Tlthe subject matter.
Even though a season 4 isn't required, it will be a tragedy if we don't get one because THIS is the true successor to Star Trek. If someone had put Mcfarlane in charge of STD instead of Curseman (yes I know its spelt wrong, it's a play on words), then we could have had Star Trek without a fanbase split down the middle.
Prey (2022)
Strong entry in the series...would have been better in theatres
I went in with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. It's actually pretty good.
It has a lot going for it. It's visually beautiful, generally well acted, it's got an interesting premise, delivered by a reasonably tight script.
The lead certainly isn't a Mary Sue and has to learn through trial and error...which is a novelty in today's Hollywood. And the Predator of this movie us certainly someone to be feared.
It's not without it's flaws though. The French trappers are essentially caricatures of themselves...there's no development and there's damn near no difference between them, they are almost totally interchangeable.
There's also one scene where our hero has a fight that does descent into absolute Mary Sue territory, despite the film being careful to avoid it until that point.
And the final battle, while impressive at the start, has a contrived ending requiring our hero to have a greater awareness of something than is possible for the time period.
Those elements lose it points but it's still generally a solid movie. Third best entry in the series.
Although I am reading some people putting it on par with the original and above Predator 2...
No, just no. It's good yes, but it never gets close to those heights.
Moonfall (2022)
Middling Roland Emmerich Fare
It seems that Roland Emmerich has been chasing the high of Independence Day for nearly a quarter of a century now...sticking to the same basic formula but never again capturing that magic. This is the latest attempt.
It's not terrible, it has some things going for it. The visuals are good, the concept has promise, it's reasonably well paced and the cast are doing the best with what they have...but overall it's quite silly, the script isn't the best and a lot of the situations are just impossible to suspend that much disbelief (and this is comming from a man who can REALLY suspend a lot of disbelief).
Lastly, the characters aren't really that likable relatable or well developed, and that's the ones they tried to develop. Others have even less and as a result you really get no feeling whatsoever when they meet their untimely ends that you could really see comming from orbit.
It's a shame really, because the concept is extremely interesting and I really do think could have met that ID4 bar that he's never topped...but they just got silly with it and crammed all the interesting parts into the last half hour, padded out with intergalactic car chases.
The Terminal List (2022)
Absolutely compelling viewing
I wasn't expecting much going in, and yet what I found was an excellent series; well acted, reasonably well written with similarly well written (if a little simplistic) characters, characters who act consistently and make generally realistic and smart decisions (which is becoming rarer and rarer).
There are plenty of twists and turns to keep you guessing, but above all this show absolutely delivers what it sets out to deliver...an action packed, vengeance story, with a sprinkling of real world politics that care little for the people they claim to champion.
OK, it's a little cheesy and a bit jingoistic in places, but never unbearably so; and the scenes where it is, at least feel like they fit and contribute to the story.
Not every show has to be a cinematic masterpiece...its fine to enjoy a show that takes a familiar kind of story and executes it well, and there's a lot of executing in this show for sure!
Resident Evil (2022)
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City: Perhaps I treated you too harshly little one!
The recent film effort has specific failings despite trying to tell a story that fans of the game would still enjoy.
This series is Resident Evil in name only.
In addition to being a shameless cash grab, it manages to fail across the board. Its parallel stories have no impact because you already know who is going to make it and who isn't, every character is unlikeable but the ones you are meant to dislike are marginally more likable than the ones you aren't.
The show has all the pacing of a tardy glacier and the dialogue/script is worthwhile only as an alternative to tranquillisers.
It's not even a swing and a miss; the battery swung, missed, let go of his bat and it flew off into the crowd, striking a premature baby in the teeth before bouncing off and injuring a puppy!
The Adam Project (2022)
Enjoyable family fare
As long as you have:
a) Ryan Reynolds playing Ryan Reynolds and;
b) A script that stays lighthearted and fun...
Then you will have to try hard to make a 'bad' film, you'll just get a range of good ones.
The Adam Project isn't the best film he's done but it's good, solid and enjoyable entertainment, reminiscent of Flight of the Navigator (although I doubt it will be remembered in the same vein).
It doesn't break any new ground but it doesn't leave you feeling like you've wasted your time either. It is what it is and what it is, is fun.
That said, I will say that the writing is a little inconsistent when it comes to time travel tropes and that should have been caught during filming.
Sometimes a change in the timeline has no effect (until you return to the future), sometimes it takes hours to show any changes and sometimes its practically instantaneous if the script needs it to be....changing the rules to suit the scene and payoff is quite noticeable and kinda takes you out of the zone to scratch your head; which is a shame really or I would have rated this film higher.
The Death of Stalin (2017)
You wouldn't believe a comedy could be as funny as reality!
This film is a comedy yes, but almost everything in it is, to some degree or another, historically accurate.
Possibly only in Soviet Russia, could you base a comedy with scenes that amuse because of their insanity...only to find out that most of it actually happened.
Only in a country where fear of Stalin's wrath was so great, that no insanity was so insane that it was not worth doing to keep the big man happy...could comedy reflect reality so hilariously.
The Movie is compelling, attention keeping, well paced and ridiculously funny. The performances are strong and overall this is just a great, great movie.
Props to Jason Issacs as the standout of this movie.. despite strong competition from an excellent cast.
Watch this movie.
Reacher (2022)
Good, honest, TV drama/action...done well!
I enjoyed the Tom Cruise features, but then again I haven't read the books. The one thing I've heard from those who have though, is that he wasn't the part; mostly not in look but also not quite in detail.
However, having had it drilled into me how Reacher 'should' be, by his fans, of course I have formed an opinion of what I would expect...and this series absolutely nailed it.
I kinda wish I'd spaced this show out but it lasted just over 24 hours. Still, I regret none of it. Every minute was well spent.
This show balances drama, action and hints of comedy excellently. This is a show that is not trying to do anything other than entertain its audience with a balance of those three things, and does it right.
The acting is good, the pacing and script is tight, scenes aren't wasted and you genuinely get a sense of who each character is and where they are at in life; liking the main cast of protagonists more as a result.
If I were to level any constructive criticism, it would be that our villains are a little cartoonist and ridiculously OTT at times; giving up exposition that will definitely get them killed, like a Bond villain giving up their plan right before 007 is almost certainly going to foil it.
But even that minor critique doesn't take away from the quality of thus show in any major way, it'd measly a minor observation...and, although cliché, it still adds to the kudos of the finale.
This is a show done right. I can't recommend Reacher enough.
Eternals (2021)
This film is 2 and a half hours long...and boy do you feel every second of it.
This film suffered deeply from the one problem that should have been blindingly obvious from the moment they decided to make it...too many characters.
10 superheros in one film, plus supporting characters, it was always a real worry that the characters would lack development, and you wouldn't get to know anyone enough to actually care about them. And that's exactly what happened.
GOTG just about pulled it off with 5 heros, and even that only worked because one of the characters was a tree with one line and came at the expense of a one dimensional villain.
Eternals doesn't mange to give you characters which you care about or empathise with. Honestly, you struggle to remember most of their names half the time.
Rob Stark appears to be as thrilled to be in this film as he was at the end of his last wedding. Angelina Jolie is basically just there. Salma Hayek does what she can, especially with a character that the script doesn't seem to realise is actually a terrible leader; but thats not enough to save the film. Gemma Chan hasn't really got the personality to carry the film and her character isn't written in any way that you'd really care about her either.
Sprite and Druig are actually really annoying characters, Makkari is just there for most of the film and Phastos isn't given much to do beyond talking about his family.
The only characters/actors with any personality and charisma are Kumail Nanjiani as Kingo and Ma Dong-seok as Gilgamesh. While they manage to steal the scenes they are in, for some reason the film decides they need less screen time...perhaps the actors needed surgery after carrying the fist half of the film on their backs.
Despite this bloated cast, the 2 and a half hour run time still feels like an eternity, because pacing is a huge problem with this film.
A huge portion of the film is dedicated to 'getting the band back together' and honestly, with the exception of the 2 scene stealing stars doing their best, the entire second act moves with all the pace of your average glacier.
The film lacks any real villain, so you're not even invested in the struggle. Anyone sold as a villain is eventually just 'misunderstood' or doing what they have to...which makes the third act even more dissapointing.
If I can say anything good about the film, I can say that it's visually impressive, but thats about it. Beyond that it was a chore to get through.
Mother/Android (2021)
Looked better on paper than in practice
The premises of this film made me quite eager to watch it. There's no doubt this concept had lots of potential; but it's let down by a weak script and characters that I really struggle to even like, let alone root for!
The plot hangs together on a series of contrivances and maguffins, and they are explained with all the subtlety of a punch in the face.
These carefully specific explanations and exposition work with a series of fairly obvious clues that resulted in me calling the big twist in exact detail, about 20 minutes before it happened.
Chloe Grace-Mortez puts in a good performance with what she has to work with, but both protagonists of the film act so selfishly, even she can't inspire any warmth towards her character.
Our protagonists act with horrendous disregard to the consequences of their actions on others; sucking any sense of empathy out of the scenes which are there to provide emotional payoff.
The pacing is another problem. There are long stretches of next to nothing going on, which could have been used to explain more about the characters journey and the events leading to where the story starts. Unfortunately they are wasted on continually trying to make us warm to cold characters.
The concept should have made for a great film. Alas not enough was done to make sure the concept was backed up by a good script.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
Lots of Fan Service; but still a quality film
I went into this film with mixed emotions and purposefully low expectations (yes ATC, I'm looking at you). However, I was very impressed with what Afterlife delivered.
It's got a far more grounded feel, matching well with the original films and doing away with the slapstick, OTT nonsense of ATC.
The cast play it straight for the most part, injecting humor into drama and not the other way around.
McKenna Grace is particularly impressive as Phoebe, playing a character who is easily and immediately identifiable as her grandfather's granddaughter, while still making the character her own. Fin Wolfhard does the best with what he has, although his material is somewhat limited. Paul Rudd does what he always does best, playing Paul Rudd; and it works well for his character.
Overall, it's very entertaining with all the call backs and fan service you would expect, but done in the way fans of the original can appreciate...none of that 'Subverting Expectations' idiocity.
It's got its faults here and there; sometimes it's so keen reminding you of how much you loved the original Ghostbusters, it forgets it needs to stand on its own feet.
But outside of that, overall it's a swing and a good solid hit.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
Lots of potential but not as well executed
This film genuinely felt like they wanted to tell a resident evil story, genuinely true to the games. Unfortunately trying to combine both Resident Evil 1 and 2 (with some additional elements from Resident Evil 3) into a single film, came at the cost of its characters.
Essentially, this should have been 2 separate films; and combining them into a single film meant that the character development had to be scaled back. This resulted in changing backstories to give us 'quick' ways to understand the characters actions and motivations.
Leon Kennedy probably gets treated the worst with Claire Redfield also winding up very little like her game character. Robbie Amell does a good job as Chris Redfield and Tom Hopper is a bit of a standout as Wesker, even if his character doesn't quite feel right.
I really wish they had turned this out as 2 separate movies because it he the potential to be great. The decision not to, left us with a rushed and crowded film trying to juggle too many goings on.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Pretty gripping commentary with a pretty tight plot
This film was better than it should have been. There was a lot of potential to make this film go wrong. However, for the most part they avoided it and managed to capture a comedically set but disturbingly accurate "what if" scenario.
From the stupidity of deniers, to the political gamesmanship, to the watered down pandering of media and back to the stupidity of social media, this film sets its scene well with far too many comparrisons to actual life.
It's quite concerning to think, in the event of an ELE, much of what we see here would probably be the response...and the political divisions of the planet would still prevent any real unity even where it is needed to stave off extinction.
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Yes, it absolutely delivers what you want to see!
Phase 4 hasn't got off to the best of starts. Far from home suffered from post Endgame fatigue and could never reach the hights of its immediate predecessor.
Shang Chi was fun and enjoyable; but they tried to fit 2-3 movies worth of content into a single outing, resulting in ideas that were never explored, too many characters to develop and important pay offs that felt rushed.
The Eternals landed to a lukewarm reception that was still probably warmer than it deserved. Generally, it dragged and failed to entertain in more than brief doses.
The various TV Series have been extremely mixed in both their overall quality and even the quality of individual episodes.
So, the expectations for No Way Home were extremely high...and I was worried that that film hype might be writing cheques that its butt couldn't cash.
However I need not have worried. It not only wrote the cheques but they cleared promptly when cashed.
There are a few plot holes that it's best not to think about and some of the characters seem to be a bit inconsistent with their motivations and behaviour, but aside from that, it knocks this one out of the park.
The script is pretty tight, it's well acted and it delivers the right pacing without any real second act boredom. I'm a heavy smoker and if I make it through a whole film without craving a smoke, its a good film. In this case, not only did the film not give me time to crave one, I genuinely forgot I smoked until I got back to the car afterwards!
This film shows that the MCU can still absolutely get the job done when they are working with the right casting, writers and characters.
Yes, there were genuine emotional moments and I did find a tear in my eye...but not at the part you would imagine once you've watched it. Yes that was sad but it was a supporting characters moment of redemption that did it for me. Managing to do something that turned out extremely badly last time they attempted it.
I'm not crying...you're crying! You will know it when you see it!
Boss Level (2020)
This is a 9/10 action film...change my mind!
There are many reasons why this film shouldn't work, chief among them the plot. Groundhog Day meets Taken probably sounds like a terrible idea for a movie.
Yet despite this, it works...in every way that matters. Well developed characters you come to care about, excellent pacing, great action scenes, humor that lands and a generally well written story that condenses a lot of enjoyment into its run time.
The cast alone has the chops to carry this movie; but they make the most of a fun opportunity to make a great action film with some genuine heart to it.
Like many people who reviewed this film, I fail to see where the lower rating has come from, unless it is film studies students who are incapable of enjoying anything that doesn't have subtitles and is filmed in B&W...action films are not the three colours trilogy...you can enjoy more than one genre guys!!!
Grillo is underrated generally and puts in performances that don't get the credit they deserve; this film is no exception.
Mel Gibson might not be the force he once was but dammit if he doesn't put in a great turn as a maniacal villain!
Even the kid is acts well and feels like a normal kid rather than some annoying creation that you spend most of the film wanting to slap!
With so many "attempts" to choose from this film does excellently in picking the best parts from the best ones, so you're not watching the same scene time and again.
And there is some genuine emotional pay off to boot. If you have Prime in the UK, you could do much, much worse than to invest a couple of hours into this action packed little gem!
The Tomorrow War (2021)
A solid film...but a plot that will have Sci-fi fans arguing for hours
Having read some of the reviews, I'm not sure why so many critics seemed to have it in for this film.
It's a good solid 2hrs of entertainment. It's well paced and keeps your attention, for the most part It's well acted and the main characters are enjoyable; even if the supporting cast are a little underdeveloped.
There is a bit of a question about balance and I sometimes wasn't sure if they were trying to make an action flick or an action comedy.
That said, as long as you don't think about it too hard, or go down the rabbit hole of thinking about the time travel paradoxes, you should like this film plenty. If you are looking for a post apocalyptic, sci-fi actioner, and you are OK to kick back and just enjoy it for what it is, you could definitely do a lot, lot worse.
The only thing that bothered me more than it should, is how a MacGuffin from the second act (that has been the focus of the film), is actually practically irrelevant in the third act.
However outside of that, I really enjoyed this film.
Cosmic Sin (2021)
This film was genius!
Now that you've read my headline, stay with me for the review.
You probabaly read it and thought, "what the hell did this spam stick find to like in that movie"...
Nothing, the answer is nothing (well almost...but we will come back to that). The film made almost no sense from start to finish. The plot was paper thin, the characters were bland and undeveloped, the visuals were crappy and the dialogue was terrible.
I was hoping this film might reach 'so bad it's good' territory. My hopes were in vain! It dipped below bad, hit terrible...and stayed there for the entire remaining run time.
I get the feeling some scenes were cut; because the story seems to know what the hell is going on and what the characters are doing. Unfortunately the audience is non the wiser...and they will stay that way, because precisely no one is comming back to this movie for a 'special edition'.
I did say there was 'almost' nothing to like...the costume design was pretty cool. But thats not going to save this steaming turd of a movie.