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Forst (2024)
Doesn't make sense?
The culprit and their motives are pretty much clear from episode one. It's a formulaic WII era vendetta with some other stuff sprinkled on it, like the very stereotypical detective's childhood.
However, on a logistical and temporal level, it doesn't make sense. The story is apparently set in modern days, so it's been 81 years from 1943. Then how the hell can a Nazi collaborator, who was an officer and likely around 30 years old, be not only still alive but able to lead an organized crime ring?? At around 110 years old??
How can reasonably young people (around 30/40) have a father or a grandpa who were active nazis? They should be older or the Nazi should be their great grandfather. The whole temporal plane is skewed.
Savage Beauty (2022)
Discontinuous
Starts strong with a conventional but intriguing world building: rich family, dirt behind the glamour, past tragedies, etc.
It kind of loses its sparkle in the last episodes, because there are too many twist and turns and the vast majority are way too gratuitous.
Characters go from smart and manipulative to dumb and out of control with seemingly no reason, the quality of the script in general is a bit discontinuous and so is the tonal shift.
I would still give a chance to another season tho, just too see if they find a convincing way to wrap up the many subplots. Great soundtrack th.
Mmmm.
Monsters (2022)
Entertaining but partially a work of fiction
I admit that I've absolutely binged the show: it's extremely well done, with great acting and pacing (the use of flashbacks and the change of pov didn't bother me, I think it helped making the show more varied).
However, I was fully conscious that I was watching a heavily fictionalised version of the story. The show is styled like a documentary but it's not, I think more viewers should be aware of it! Glenda's character specifically was really inaccurate, which I feel is very dishonest since she has so much space in the show. The romantic relationship between Dahmer and on of his victims is also likely something that never happened.
Kyra Kyralina (2014)
Visually stunning but somewhat lame
I haven't read the book so maybe I'm just missing the full picture, but the story feels a bit silly and the characters do a lot of nonsensical stuff. The mother especially seems to completely lack any trace of self preservation and common sense. I can't complain about the acting, imho most actors are doing their job well (especially the main leads).
However, this movie is visually stunning and a pleasure for the eyes: locations, costumes, etc. Everything is very well done. I can't say I haven't enjoyed the movie though, it's oddly alluring despite some flaws and at least is different from the usual Netflix soup.
Chanson douce (2019)
Terrific lead actor, bland script
Karin Viard's performance is just excellent: she's subtly unhinged, creepily obsessive and in the end plainly scary. Her character's background is barely delineated but we can see everything through her every move and word.
The parents are also good in their own way, but they don't have much script to work with: despite having to deal with an increasingly weird (to be kind) nanny, they seem to be unable to face the problem and act passively in most occasions (especially the mom). This creates an imbalance of tension in the movie and the natural climax doesn't feel as devastating as it should be.
Fröken Julie (2013)
Slightly pointless
Without prior knowledge of the story (the book), this movie doesn't really make a lot of sense: the characters actions seem to be slightly deranged and pointless, nothing gets explained but only hinted at through dreamy monologues and flashbacks. The dialogues suffer from the very same vague disease and even though the acting is good, the plot feels silly and the characters mentally unstable for the most part. Visually speaking it's very appealing, save for the female protagonist's look and makeup that feel too strong and modern and don't match with the general vibe. I will try to watch another adaptation of the same story.
Indian Predator: The Butcher of Delhi (2022)
Much ado about nothing
The review title is obviously an hyperbole but imho it really captures the spirit of the documentary. The crimes committed are actually pretty gory but every person involved is either incompetent or uninteresting. The cops' interviews are too long and none of them seem to be capable to go straight to the point, they sound confused and overly perplexed. The pacing is slow, the "plot" is overstretched and things barely happen. The reconstructed segments are bizarrely cut and fail to properly show what happened. Given the brutality of the crimes described, the show shouldn't be so unengaging and bland.
Young Wallander (2020)
Very mediocre
They had me in the first half, not gonna lie. The first murder scene is actually quite surprising and it sets things in motion efficiently. Then the plot falls into woke tracks and you can't escape the procession of fanfiction tier stereotypes: the gang leader who hides a noble heart, the strong immigrant mother who fights for her talented kid, the scared cat and oh so racist middle class, the rich guy who looks, sound and actually is psychotic... It's really a "current year" type of situation and it's kind difficult to watch the whole thing without being painfully aware of the fact that every single creative choice made is a result of it.
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: The Murmuring (2022)
A bit flavourless
Child loss, child murder and female hysteria are all beloved staple of the horror genre, for obvious reasons. Here the whole package also includes a crumbling gothic house, an isolated island and a marriage rocked by grief. The plot devotedly follows the usual dead baby-haunted house line, the scary scenes happen exactly when you expect them to happen and the same goes for the script.
This is not a bad movie by any means, it's just the same old story we've already seen thousands of times. I think flavourless would the right term to describe it, but if you don't usually watch horror movies you may find if less predictable than I do.
The Invocation of Enver Simaku (2018)
Not everyone's cuppa
The fact that this film has very low ratings doesn't surprise me: in order to understand it, you need a wealth of historical knowledge that is not taken for granted. The horror plot intertwines with the recent history of Albania, of which it is necessary to have at least some notions to understand different elements of the film. The story also proceeds quite slowly, while remaining in a climate of constant anguish. Visually however it is very interesting and the acting is good. It's a raw, gritty, non-commercial horror film that evidently isn't to everyone's taste (understandably, shall we say).
Blonde (2022)
Soft-porn for the Marilyn obsessed
The movie is based on the novel with the same title by Carol Oates, so it's not an accurate biopic but an emotional portrait. The problem is that is a bad one, poorly done and in very, very poor taste. Marilyn's character is so completely abstract and conceptualised to be almost completely detached from the real, historical person. We only see her being abused, abusing herself and stumbling around in a perpetual state of mental anguish. While the sex scenes are tame enough, the way they're set up is somewhat morbid. Her infertility issues are exploited to the max and with a certain, unpleasant curiosity. Overall this felt like just another, useless movie about an icon that should be left in peace.
Munich: The Edge of War (2021)
Could have been so much better
The diplomacy race against time to save Europe (and the world) from war is enthralling: you can see what happens behind the curtains and how many people live on edge and adrenaline to allow global issues to run as smoothly as possible. If the movie focused solely on this, it would have been so much better. Sadly, we are served the usual cliché subplot: the neurotic wife who doesn't understand how the adult world works, the repent ex Nazi, long lost friends... all very boring and already seen. Seems like we can't have adult movies anymore without them being filled with soap opera elements.
I hate the new character limit.
La femme tranquille (2008)
A bit too sappy
While apparently based on true events, this movie has all the qualities of a somewhat modern French fable (if something like that could exist...). The main character is an old woman, patron of a typical bistrot with an unusual past. Her aged boyfriend is an equally quirky character and they both have a golden heart: they're the reluctant heroes who try to save an English soldier from the Nazis. They do so in the clumsiest way possible, aided by the clumsiest resistance cell ever existed. Coincidentally, the usual German officer with behavioural issues also takes a room in her bistrot. And the list of coincidences goes on...
The acting is good for the most part, but the script hammers too much on the tragic side of the story with no real balance.
Der Parfumeur (2022)
Another modern aesthetic thing
600 characters are really too much for a lot of movies, this being one of them. I could say two simple words, aesthetic rubbish, and you would immediately understand what I'm talking about. There are a lot of silent scenes, interesting costume choices, "visionary" moments... the complete indie package. It has nothing to do with the German serie Der Perfume, August Diehl (I love him so much) cammeo is clearly an attempt to create an expanded universe but it's just not it. It's boring. It's mostly pointless. It's too long. There are so many basic plot twists that could be laughable if the movie didn't take itself so damn seriously.
El baile de los 41 (2020)
Beautifully shot but nothing really happens
This movie is beautiful: the sets, the costumes, the actors. The colours! It's a joy for the eye but not so much for the mind. The plot revolves around a (homo)sexual scandal that wrecked the well to do society of early 900s Mexico, but we don't really see much of it. What we see is basically the unhappy marriage of the president's daughter and his protege. He's gay and she's his beard, they're both depressed but rarely speak a word. He has a lover and we see them naked together a lot. We see a lot of naked people in general but everyone seems to be either horny or borderline suicidal. It's tragic in the literal sense of the word but also kind of boring.
45 Years (2015)
How scary life can be
Everyone has regrets and broken dreams, some are heavier than others though. And dangerous: we tend to idealise who got away and the things that never happened. The antidote to this poison is to forget and let die, otherwise we could destroy what we have. Which is exactly what happens in this movie, that explores the way a repressed memory threatens to destroy a 45 years old marriage, apparently solid but actually based on a well crafted suppressed trauma. It's scary to think of a simple trigger can destroy a relationship or a life.
The acting is good, my only complaint is that the movie is a bit slow.
Deathwatch (2002)
Good concept, somewhat confusing execution
WWI trenches were the stuff of nightmares: mud, rot, corpses and dirt all around you. Men dropped like flies in combat, due to infections or sickness. While this is horrible in real life, it provides a great setting for a horror movie. Deathwatch however is not typical horror despite the abundant gore, it's more psychological and it plays with the sense of claustrophobia and sheer fear of death that soldiers experienced, the trauma and shock it led to. The acting is good and the visuals are solid, sadly it's a little... boring? At some point if gets somewhat repetitive and you get lost in a loop of people running in the dark toward the final twist.
Primo amore (2004)
Disturbing tale of obsessive control
Somewhat based on real events, this movies is a dark tale about the need for control. The plot is very simple: a man, obsessed with the idea of having an extremely thin woman to own entirely, targets a somewhat fragile and lonely girl to make her "perfect". The most disturbing thing is how realistic the movie is, it could be a clinical textbook: the gaslighting, manipulation and love bombing, all the tricks someone can use to brainwash a partner. There's an impending sense of doom and anxiety as the relationship progresses and the man's mask slips to reveal his true face, the one of a narcissist who want to play God.
HHhH (2017)
Very tame
Heydrich, affectionately known as The Blonde Beast or Prince of Terror, is the kind of bad guy people find difficult to laugh at (even if just to exorcise their uneasiness). And not just for impressive body count, but mostly because he's in perfect control of what he does and it's basically impermeable to anything and everything.
Yet, this movie made him look somewhat boring. He's like just an evil Nazi dude who does his thing, almost indistinguishable by any other villain in a WWII movie, the script doesn't make the character shine. The actor was also very wrong for the role, he looks nothing like the sharp faced original and the acting is very stiff.
Urban Explorer (2011)
Boring stuff
The plot is very basic and could be summed up in: urban exploring gone wrong. The problem however is that it's very poorly executed. The acting is bad (except for the guy who plays the guide), the script is extremely uninspired and you have to suspend your credulity to the max to enjoy it even a little bit.
The Nazi bunker thing is just a bait, it doesn't add anything to the plot (we get to see some unconvincingly wall paintings). The psycho guy is just there,The plot is very basic and could be summed up in: urban exploring gone wrong. The problem however is that it's very poorly executed. The acting is bad (except for the guy who plays the guide), the script is extremely uninspired and you have to suspend your credulity to the max to enjoy it even a little bit.
The Nazi bunker thing is just a bait, it doesn't add anything to the plot. The psycho guy is just there, there's some gore here and there but overall the movie is very bland. There's some gore here and there but overall the movie is very bland. I guess it's fine if you really, really love this specific horror kind of horror.
Deep Fear (2022)
Catacombs but it's nazi zombies
Some kids in early '90s attire get into the catacombs for an afternoon of quirky entertainment. Everyone looks like the discount version of the Stranger Things cast. There are sone skinheads too and they play some sort of comic relief. An undead nazi officer is waiting there too with his equally undead dog. Despite having been dead to the world for like 50 years, he's still the only one to possess some modicum of efficiency (must be the meth he keeps huffing and which presumably kept him from killing himself when Berlin fell).
Nothing really makes sense, nothing is explained and there's like 5 subplots that go nowhere. Just dark tunnels, people screaming and a poorly constructed German bunker.
Earwig (2021)
The female mystery
This movie is very clearly open to many different interpretations, mine is mostly based on my emotional response. I think in a way this work kinda dives into the hidden fear and repulsion many people have towards the female body: menstruations, fertility, pregnancy, etc.
Albert is scared by Mia's first symbolic period, has unnerving memories of his wife's pregnancy and Celeste's character speaks for itself. The war barely ended so we also have another layer of violence to add to the complex situation.
It's a very very interesting movie but the pacing is glacial so I can't give it more than 5.
Kyokon densetsu: Utsukushiki nazo (1983)
The movie i wasn't expecting to exist
Rule 34: if something exists, there's porn of it.
I'm not sure this movie could be considered porn (it's obviously not graphic) but it's the closest approximation to a Yukio Mishima's unhinged suicide/golpe's porn parody we have (for now).
Weirdly enough, the story isn't entirely stupid and balances between comedy and grotesque quite efficiently. Everything screams low budget but the acting is good imho and the script has some clever moments.
Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
Great pacing
While not a masterpiece, this movie is undoubtedly very entertaining and has the unrelenting pacing of a videogame.
The plot doesn't entirely make sense but this is only relatively important because the focus is on action and the combat scenes are well executed.
All in all, good fun!
Zombie Massacre 2: Reich of the Dead (2015)
Completely useless
The worst crime of this movie is being completely not entertaining. Nothing happens for at least half of the movie, the script is boring and every single scene drags on to death except for the ones involving the zombies or action (which would still be equally bad, so it's an empty complain).