Glasgow University

3rd March 2009 Scottish Student Newspaper of the Year

Gran Master Bolivin' la vida loca

Claire Strickett is impressed by Clint Robin Perkins joins the carnival
Eastwood in what could be his last role at Bolivia's cultural celebration

Seats left
Film Features

Scholarship
initiative is

vacant in announced

student
Ishbel Begg

THE RIGHT HON. CHARLES

Kennedy MP, last week launched this
year’s Glasgow University Talent

elections
Scholarship drive.
Designed to aid students who
could face financial difficulties in
taking up their place to study at
Glasgow, fifty scholarships worth
£1000 are being awarded each year.
Mr. Kennedy, the current
University rector, delivered the
News Staff 15 out of 20 positions at the SRC awards to the first 76 beneficiaries
have been left either uncontested of the scholarship at a ceremony
THE FOUR MAJOR STUDENT or unfilled. attended by recipients and donors.
organisations at Glasgow University Both the SRC and GUU have only Kennedy told Guardian why he is
have announced the nominations one candidate for their President. The promoting the scheme.
for their upcoming elections, and a SRC will be holding an election He said: “It’s about widening
number of governing positions have with just one nominee, Laura Laws, the opportunity for people from
been left without candidates. while the union has announced its backgrounds where financially
The elections for all four of the new president, Chris Jubb, ahead of they wouldn’t be able to come to
organisations will be taking place the elections. university, although they’ve got the
this week, although many of the The QMU has three candidates academic qualifications to do it.
important jobs have no students for its presidency, but a number of “I was the first member of my
running for them. other board positions are currently family ever to go to university, and
The Students’ Representative without nominees. I’m the youngest of three, but my
Council (SRC), Glasgow University In contrast, GUSA’s elections are parental income was such that I quali-
Union (GUU) and Queen Margaret set to be one of their most-con- fied for a full maintenance grant. But
Union (QMU) will be holding tested for years, with two students suppose I had been the eldest of three,
by-elections later in the month for competing for its head position and and there were two other mouths to
some of their most crucial spaces, 20 nominees for the six Ordinary feed, I wonder if that would have
after the initial nominations process Member places available. been a contributing factor.

Occupation members come under fire

resulted in too few applicants. (Continued on pages 2 and 3) Sean Anderson (Continued on page 5)

A TOTAL OF £673.27 WAS RAISED FOR George Binning we would have been able to raise significantly “Without enough notice you can’t expect
the DEC appeal on the University’s fundraising more money.” people to drop everything to do the collection,
day. However the preceding occupation of the charity sends 49% of its proceeds to help chil- Raymie Kiernan, a representative of the we got as many people as possible on a shift
Computer Sciences Department provoked a dren in Palestine. Stop the War Coalition (SWC) rebuffed, criti- rotation for the four cans we signed out.”
wave of complaints from students in Glasgow. Although around 30 students took part in cising the haste and lack of consultation with There were also concerns as to the aggres-
The occupying activists had won their the occupation, the group only signed out four which the day was organised. sive nature of a number of the slogans that the
demand to publicise the DEC Appeal but were collection tins for the whole fundraising day. He said: “The fundraising day wasn’t group chanted. The SRC took a strong line of
heavily criticised for both their low turnout on Gavin Lee, president of the SRC, criticised the organised properly, the agreements weren’t disapproval against the reported antagonism.
the fundraising day and their refusal to collect occupiers’ lack of positive action saying: stuck to and the university didn’t give much President Gavin Lee told Guardian that the
for Save a Child’s Heart, an Israeli-based “We’re extremely disappointed that those notice that it was happening and that had a council had received anxious reports from
charity that supports children from developing who called for the fundraising day didn’t actu- serious impact on the money raised. Everybody students across campus.
nations who suffer from heart disease. The ally support it. Had more people participated knows Friday is not a busy day.” (Continued on page 4)
2 NEWS news@glasgowguardian.co.uk 3rd March 2009

IN BRIEF
14% rise in students
applying to Glasgow
THE UNIVERSITY OF GLASGOW HAS
seen undergraduate applications rise by 14.3
per cent this year.
The rise is the biggest increase for any
of the Russell Group institutions, a group
of the top 20 research-intensive universi-
ties in the United Kingdom, which includes
Oxford, Cambridge and the London School
of Economics.
Figures released by the Universities and
Colleges Admission Service (UCAS) show
that home, EU and international applica-
tions to Glasgow, including applications in
2009 for entry in 2010, rose from 21,147 in
2008 to 24,171 for 2009.

Geography scheme goes ‘Global’

Fiona Andrews, Director of the Jim Wilson
Recruitments, Admissions and Participations
Service believes the rise in figures reflect
the University’s increasing stature as a
leading institute.
She said: “We are delighted to see an Ross Mathers Vanessa Collingridge have already shown their He said: “The RSGS, through initiatives
increase in applications to Glasgow which support for the scheme. like Global, aims to help make these connec-
speaks volumes for the reputation of the STUDENTS AT GLASGOW UNIVERSITY, Dr. Gordon Curry of the Department of tions between people, place and the planet
University and the high esteem in which in conjunction with the Royal Scottish Geographical and Earth Sciences, speaking to for the decision makers and geographers of
our teaching and research activities are held, Geographical Society (RSGS), have launched Guardian, has argued that although there is a tomorrow.”
both at home and abroad.” an initiative to encourage more people to study problem with Geography recruitment there is The initiative has already been piloted with
Overall, applications for the Russell Geography at university. still success to speak of. Glasgow students Alyson Meeke and Emma
Group’s 20 institutions rose 7 per cent year- The move comes as figures show the He said: “Although Geography recruitment Culley delivering a talk for school pupils. And
on-year, with a total of 1,890,236 applica- number of students being recruited to study into Science Faculty declined last year, Earth it is now hoped that the scheme will be imple-
tions made. Geography at Glasgow has been declining for Science recruitment increased. In a recent mented throughout all Scottish universities.
the past three years. In 2006, 107 level one survey it was revealed that a higher proportion Speaking to Guardian, Emma explained the

New Director of Legal students were recruited through the Science

Faculty and by 2008 this number had dropped
of our Earth Science graduates were in full-
time employment or further study than for any
ultimate aims of the initiative.
She said: “Hopefully RSGS Global will

Practice announced
to just 47 students. other UK Earth Science department.” help to dissolve the idea that Geography is just
While recruitments to the Earth Science Explaining the falling numbers of learning about rivers and capital cities, and
course have been increasing gradually for Geography students, Mike Robinson, Chairman show the great range of things which can be
DOUGLAS MILL HAS BEEN NAMED several years, the 2008 recruitment figures for of the RSGS, told Guardian that it was in part studied within the discipline.”
as Glasgow University’s new Director of Geography are the lowest since 2000. down to applicants choosing newer subjects Mike Robinson of the RSGS claims
Professional Legal Practice. The project, named ‘Global’, will be aimed over Geography. issues such as climate change make studying
Mill, a Glasgow University graduate at engaging school pupils and will attempt to He explained: “Geography is not attracting Geography more crucial now than ever before.
with 18 years’ worth of experience in introduce them to new and exciting concepts in as many students as it once did, but this is He said: “Geography is a brilliant subject
private legal practice and 11 years as Chief order to bridge the gap between Geography at partly a consequence of the array of subjects for today’s students as it draws together science,
Executive of the Law Society, will be school and at university. now available and partly a low image and self arts, humanities and the environment.
working to strengthen the Department of In addition, membership of the RSGS will esteem, so there is no question that it needs to “It is a way of teaching citizenship, respon-
Law’s links with the legal profession as be widened to allow for a younger group. The do more to promote itself.” sibility, giving a sense of place in the world and
well as managing the return of the Diploma BBC’s ‘Coast’ presenter Nick Crane and the He therefore supports any attempts to encouraging joined up thinking, so it has never
in Legal Practice. writer, broadcaster and Glasgow PhD student increase in interest in Geography. been more critical.”
Professor Tom Mullen, Head of

GUSA elections attract competition

the School of Law, told Guardian that
the appointment will greatly benefit
the University.
He said: “Douglas Mill will bring a
combination of vision, energy and prac- Ross Mathers The position of president involves not only “There has also been lots of advertising to
tical experience to his role as Director of the general running of GUSA and representation try and raise the profile of the elections.”
Professional Legal Practice.” THIS YEAR’S GLASGOW UNIVERSITY of student sport at Glasgow, but involvement in The elections are set to take place on March
Mill explained how happy he is to be Sports Association Council elections are set to development planning and maintaining a close 10 and voting will take place in the Stevenson
returning to Glasgow University, saying: be the biggest for years, with many of its posi- relationship with the SRS management. Building reception from 9am-5pm. In order to
“I am delighted to return to my alma mater tions hotly contested. However the presidency is not the only do so, voters must be current members of the
to take up the challenge of delivering There are 16 positions to be filled with sought-after position with more than 20 of Sport and Recreation.
the University’s ambitious strategic plans 12 of these requiring no past place in the 2008’s Freshers’ Helpers and club members Stephen Flavahan, speaking to Guardian,
for the School of Law. I enjoy working council. One year in the council is needed to be already in the running for the six Ordinary explained the importance of voting.
with students and have always been very elected as President, Vice President Clubs, Vice Member positions. He said: “Voter apathy has been a big issue
involved in legal education. President Recreation, or Secretary. GUSA Secretary, Ruth Humphreys, for all student organisations at one time or
“With the 300th anniversary of the Ruth Humphreys and Stephen Flavahan explained that attempts to publicise the elec- another but students need to ensure they vote
School of Law coming up in 2013, we are the candidates competing for the coveted tions had resulted in high levels of interest. at this election so that the problems I know
aim to establish a centre of excellence for position of president, both having had past She told Guardian: “It is looking like these students are facing — rising gym membership
professional legal studies at Glasgow.” experience in the council as Secretary and Vice will be the biggest elections to date for GUSA costs, Kelvin Hall closure and limited club
President of Clubs respectively. with lots of interest already shown. funding — can be tackled.”
SRC lacks representation
3rd March 2009 news@glasgowguardian.co.uk NEWS 3

George Binning by-election on March 23. Information will be available and

distributed by the SRC in the coming weeks.
Gavin Lee, the current SRC president, was disappointed
THE UPCOMING ELECTIONS FOR THE STUDENTS’ by the lack of student participation in the nominating process
Representative Council (SRC) look like a foregone conclusion stating that the SRC were examining the reasons for this.
with the overwhelming majority of open positions, including the He said: “At the moment we're looking into different theo-
presidency, being left either unopposed or completely vacant. ries about why fewer people ran in this election than we were
Of the 21 positions available only five will be contested, expecting, and hoped for. It’s certainly a strange happening
while six positions may be won by default. The remaining ten considering the record-breaking number of candidates who
positions will be left open for a by-election on May 6. stood in the Autumn Election.
There has also been no application for the position of Vice- “Representation through the SRC is a key method of
President (Media & Communications), one of the four most ensuring that students get the best experience possible at the
senior positions on the council, all of which command a salary University, and as such its essential to have as many people
of £15,216 per annum. engaged in Council as possible. It's disappointing that, looking
Laura Laws, who is currently Vice-President of Student at the number of candidates, this has not happened as much as
Support this year, will be President next year by default unless it could have.”
the majority of students vote to re-open nominations instead. In last year’s Spring elections four positions on the SRC
Laws was careful not to claim her victory prematurely were won unopposed and two positions were left vacant. Even
saying: “Although I am running unopposed in next week's elec- in this comparatively competitive election, voter turnout was
tion, I'm not taking anything for granted. just over 7%.
“I really want students to look at what I am proposing, come Laws admitted that the SRC would have to make an effort to
and speak to me on election days and to vote for me if they think engage with the student population.
I am the right candidate for presidency. She said: “Next year I think we need to work really hard to
“If I do get elected, I'd obviously be absolutely delighted to build upon the relationship we have with students.”
be SRC President 09/10.” Her campaign has been built upon tackling the problems
The only positions that will be contested are those of faced by students and graduates in the current recession.
the Vice-President (Learning & Development), Vice-President She explained: “It is essential to get formal recognition for
(Student Support), LBSS Faculty and Faculty of Medicine students involved in volunteering or leading clubs and societies
convenors and Minority Ethnic Officer. and to continue to develop more opportunities for students to
Nominations for the other 16 posts will either be re-opened develop their skills in preparation for getting a graduate job.”
or will be subject to a ‘Re-open Nominations’ vote, in expec- The elections will take place on March 4 and 5 with the
tation of the May by-election. Nominations will open for the results due to be announced soon afterwards. Jim Wilson

GUU declares by-election Three run for

QMU top job
Sarah Smith positions did not have any candi- There will also be a by-elec-
dates. These included the signifi- tion for one of the Present Student
THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE cant roles of Honorary Secretary and Member positions after a number
Glasgow University Union has been Honorary Treasurer. of students were disqualified
decided before the polls open due Other positions on the GUU due to mistakes made on their
to a mistake on an application form board will be subject to a by-election application forms.
made by one of the nominees. later this month, again due to candi- Current GUU President, Chris Ishbel Begg fact that people invaded the computer
22-year old Sports Medicine dates submitting wrongly filled out Birrell, explained that candidates are science building flies in the face of
student, Chris Jubb, will not face application forms. made aware of the fact that their NOMINATIONS FOR THE 2009 student apathy.
a public election after the nomi- Only one student put himself application risks being rejected if it general elections at the Queen “People seem excited about the
nation form of fellow candidate, forward for the position of Games is not completed accurately. Margaret Union closed on February elections and I’m sure there will be a
Graeme Ker was rejected for being Convenor and, after his nomina- He told Guardian: “There are 27, with a number of positions left good turn-out.”
completed incorrectly. tion form was rejected, there will be strict legal procedures for charities uncontested. Any member of the Queen
At the close of nominations on another by-election in order to fill and it says on the forms that they Three students — Aaron Murray, Margaret Union can be nominated
February 26, a number of board this post. must be filled in correctly or they Lewis Mackenzie, and Angus for any position, with first year
will be thrown out. Shepherd — will be fighting it out to Angus Shepherd in the running for
“I think it is a shame that so win the election and become the next President. The manifestos for all
many have been filled out wrongly President. candidates will be available from
this year but it is up to the candidates In contrast to this, five positions March 2, both online and around the
themselves to make sure that every- are uncontested, including Honorary Union.
thing is in order before they submit Secretary, and the roles of Events, Fourth year QMU member, Nina
their application.” Publications and Social Convenor. Doherty, told Guardian why she is
Birrell made clear that, although In addition, although there are looking forward to election day.
the situation was not ideal, he was thirteen Ordinary Board positions She said: “I think it’s really
confident that Jubb would do well as available, only seven candidates important to have a part in choosing
his successor. have been nominated. For the two a good board of management in the
He said: “Chris is a really good Former Student Member board posi- QM, as it’s a place that’s really
candidate and I think he will be a tions, only one candidate has been central to student life. It’s great to
great president.” nominated. have the opportunity to take part in
GUU members will be able to Despite this, outgoing President deciding that.”
vote on March 5 with polls open Alisdair Hunter has been impressed Voting will take place in person
from 9am-7pm in the Debates with the election interest thus far. on March 5 between 9am and 6pm,
Chamber. The results are expected to He told Guardian: “So far the with the results to be announced later
Jim Wilson be announced later that evening. response has been great. I think the the same day in the Food Factory.
4 NEWS news@glasgowguardian.co.uk 3rd March 2009

Department scoops two

awards for excellence
Craig MacLellan really good enthusiastic students, high quality
work and the majority of graduates so far
THE UNIVERSITY OF GLASGOW’S achieving merits or distinctions.
Department of Urban Studies won two prizes “Awards will make this better known to
at the recent Royal Town Planning Institute potential students and employers.”
annual awards. George Weeks, who is studying for an MSc
The department, which launched a planning in city planning and real estate development at
school in 2006, won an award for excellence in Glasgow, also won an award for outstanding
planning education. student achievements in planning education for
The planning school offers an MSc his study of the space around the University’s
programme in real estate, planning and regen- Adam Smith Building.

Backlash against occupiers

Sean Anderson
eration, which comprises five courses designed Mr. Weeks said he was delighted to win
to overcome professional barriers. the award and recommends the MSc to other
Judges praised the programme for creating graduates considering further study, but warns
“a business model that could help develop good of the strains it places on a student. (Continued from front page) chant saying: “It’s a misunderstanding of the
practice elsewhere.” He said: “The teaching and assess- He said: “There were considerable concerns word intifada, it literally means the shake up
Professor David Adams, Ian MacTaggart ment is good, with an excellent staff and raised by a number of students about some of or in common usage to mean popular uprising,
Chair of Property and Urban Studies, believes an innovative course structures that makes the comments and racial slurs that were being now that doesn’t have anything to do with
the award is an important recognition of the it possible to choose from a wide choice of bandied around during the occupation. violence or armed struggle. I object to it being
programme and may help in attracting students modules, reflecting one’s variety of interests “We were told of Jewish students feeling called a militaristic chant because people use
to Glasgow. and abilities. uncomfortable on campus during that period the chant to identify with the struggle.”
He said: “The award is important national “At the same time, any student considering also. The SRC worked with the Jewish Society Anthony Silkoff, chair of OneVoice
recognition of what we’ve achieved since the taking the course must recognise that the MSc to help alleviate student concerns, and to reduce Glasgow, also warned that any hostile messages
programme was established in 2006: some is very intense.” any offence that may be caused. were not conducive to the peace process.
“While everyone can have their own opin- He said: “Aggressive protests or actions
ions and can campaign on campus, it's really by supporters of one side are not helpful, but
damaging if even one student feels threatened it's important to acknowledge how the tragic
or uncomfortable because of their racial, reli- events in Gaza have angered people and led to
gious and ethnic background. rash behaviour. Popular frustration at the lack
“It shouldn't happen anywhere, never mind of progress, and apparent worsening of the
at University, and whatever's going on in the situation, has led to violence and outrage both
world that doesn't mean that hostility is permis- in the region and closer to home.”
sible or beneficial in any way.” There were serious misgivings from the
Adina Roth, president of the Glasgow Jewish occupiers’ camp that the decision to collect for
Society, was supportive of the University’s Save a Child’s Heart was detracting from the
handling of the occupation but echoed the donations for the DEC appeal.
SRC’s objection to the aggressive manner of Kiernan told Guardian: “Everyone who
some of the protest chants. supported the occupation was very disappointed
She told Guardian: “We welcome the steps and some were very angry at the decision.
of Glasgow University to support the DEC “Where were the protests or petitions for
Appeal and Save a Child's Heart, along with Save a Childs Heart? It was supposed to be an
their refusal to boycott goods and academics. official collection day for the DEC appeal. We
However, we're extremely concerned about the specified that the money we collected be put
Jim Wilson intimidating language used in these protests towards the DEC appeal only.”

Biobank target hit early

and the calls for the destruction of Israel that Gavin Lee explained that the collection for
actively work against a peaceful two state Save a Child’s Heart was a diplomatic gesture
solution which the majority of Palestinians and to bring political balance to the collection day.
Israelis are desperate to achieve.” He said: “The University, in consultation
Having granted some of the occupiers’ with the SRC, decided to raise for this charity
Ishbel Begg
demands, University authorities added to the also because it is a wonderful example of,
IN A LANDMARK INITIATIVE, OVER A QUARTER OF A MILLION PEOPLE HAVE BEEN number of objections. and represents, a peaceful and beneficial rela-
recruited for UK Biobank, the world’s largest medical study. A University spokesman said: “The tionship between people of both Israel and
The multi-million pound project aims to provide the biggest bank of health information ever University does not wish to see any groups of Palestine. It is particularly pertinent to recog-
collected, so as to provide future researchers with data that can be used to identify links between students on campus made to feel uncomfortable nise this collaboration during the conflict.”
health, lifestyle and genetics. by the behaviour of others and it is a matter Silkoff also praised the decision to hold a
University of Glasgow Professor Jill Pell, who is leading UK Biobank in Scotland, said: “To of concern that several Jewish students found bipartisan collection day, saying: “The decision
hit this target ahead of schedule — and with more than 18,500 people in Glasgow signing up — is some chants used by demonstrators upsetting.” to raise money for the DEC Gaza appeal and
fantastic news. It shows that the public are willing to help us gain a greater understanding of our One of the slogans that has been called Save a Child's Heart was a wise one, as these
health and to help future generations.” into question called for victory for the intifada, charities are both completely humanitarian in
The first project of this size and scale, UK Biobank will allow researchers in decades to come which has been linked to the two Palestinian aims and character.”
to study, in-depth, the role genes, lifestyle and environment play in relation to a wide range of revolutions in the latter half of the twen- Lee added that there had been a number
medical conditions, including cancer, dementia, diabetes and depression. tieth century. Heavy casualties were sustained of complaints of aggressive chanting, some
Thousands of invitations have been sent to people living in Glasgow, with the ultimate goal of on both sides during these especially violent due to the appropriation of the Computing
recruiting half a million people from across Britain. periods of Israeli/Palestinian history. Objections Department’s facilities. He said: “There were
Participants aged 40-69 years old provide information about their current health and lifestyle, were also raised to the chant “Palestine will be many complaints made by students, both to the
as well as blood and urine samples for future analysis. Permission is also obtained for UK Biobank free, from the river to the sea” which alludes University and the SRC, during the occupa-
to track their health for up to 30 years and more. to a single Palestinian state covering the terri- tion. A significant number supported the SRC's
The £61m project is being funded by the Medical Research Council (MRC), the Wellcome tory west of the Jordan River, a lot of which is stance on the occupation; a significant number
Trust, the Department of Health, the Scottish Executive and the Northwest Regional accepted as belonging to Israel. demanded the University remove the protesters
Development Agency. Kiernan was swift to defend the group's from the building.”
Kennedy launches scholarship drive
3rd March 2009 news@glasgowguardian.co.uk NEWS 5

(Continued from front page) popular, however, as O’Neill has some reser-
“Of course we’re talking about 30 years vations about what he calls the “Magwitch
ago when the level of student cost and debt was Moment”.
nothing compared to what it is today, so there He said: “I object, in a somewhat slight
are bound to be people from lower income and timid voice, to the decision, in some cases,
backgrounds that are put off by the thought to inform the recipient of the identity of the
of ‘Can I afford it? Is it for me? And am I just person who donated their scholarship — just
going to emerge with a mountain of personal because it seems a little smug, and enforces a
debt round my neck for the rest of my life?’ So feeling of indebtedness to the well-off elite that
the more you can widen the access to university isn't really in the spirit of the scheme. Though
the better, without a shadow of a doubt.” saying that I do feel very, very grateful.”
The Talent Scholarships are open to any Mr. Kennedy, however, is keen to see more
UK-based undergraduates studying for their direct involvement from former students of
first degree at the University of Glasgow. Glasgow University.
He told Guardian: “I secured a Fulbright
“The more you can widen the Scholarship to go and study in the United States
access to university the better, for the year after I graduated from Glasgow.
“That was a terrific opportunity obviously,
without a shadow of a doubt” which wouldn’t have otherwise come my way,
as I didn’t have the finances to contemplate that
The scheme, which is now in its second sort of thing.
year of operation, awards the scholarships to “What’s really good about these scholar-
students on the basis of their ability and finan- ships is, I assume when you hear the word
cial position. ‘scholarship’, you’ve got to be very wealthy to
Michael O’Neill, a second year English consider setting up a scholarship.
Literature student and recipient of the Talent “The beauty of these is that for £1000 a
Scholarship, highlighted how the scheme has year, people can provide a scholarship for an
helped him to benefit further from his univer- undergraduate student.
sity experience at Glasgow, and allowed him “£1000 is a lot of money, particularly to a
to explore further opportunities outside of the student who couldn’t otherwise come to univer-
lecture theatre. sity, but in truth, even in a recession, there are
He told Guardian: “I wouldn't say it’s the an awful lot of people for whom £1000, if that
case that without it my university attendance was their one charitable giving for the year, is
would be in jeopardy. Getting through is down affordable.
to an accumulation of such things; grants, “I think there are an awful lot of people of
loans, bursaries and employment. a certain income out there, who are not multi-
“Without the scholarship I definitely would millionaires or anything like that, who if they
have to work through term-time — so what realised ‘Gosh, I could achieve or deliver a
it’s done for me has allowed me to focus on scholarship for that amount of money’, would
my studies; and given me time to enjoy extra- do so.”
curricular activities, such as involvement with It is hoped that the drive will see least 200
Student Theatre at Glasgow (STaG).” students per year benefit from the annual award
Not every aspect of the scheme has proved by 2012. Sean Anderson

Glasgow Uni in trans-Atlantic venture

THE UNIVERSITY OF GLASGOW the Universities of Glasgow, Heriot- Amy McGregor mentoring from Stanford staff and Industrial growth will be encour-
will collaborate with Stanford Watt, Strathclyde and St. Andrew’s industrialists with extensive experi- aged by pilot projects demonstrating
University and the Caltech Institute work with their Californian partners who will be heavily involved with ence in commercialising technolo- the potential for commercial exploi-
in a £1.6 million project to investi- to build a network between the institu- the scheme, described the benefits gies in optics and photonics in the tation and the development of an
gate the commercial opportunities in tions’ photonics departments with the the collaboration will bring. heart of silicon valley. investor network of companies inter-
the study of photonics. aim of maximising the commercial She said: “The venture has a “There is nowhere else in the ested in investing within the photo-
The collaborative programme, opportunities of leading research. great mix of opportunities for world that you can get exposed to nics sector.
funded by the Science Bridges award Professor of Experimental Physics Scottish researchers to get experi- such a concentration of high-tech Principal Investigator within the
from Research Councils UK, will see at Glasgow University, Sheila Rowan, ence of working at Stanford with research and extensive first-hand project, Professor Allister Ferguson,
knowledge of how to turn cutting- of Strathclyde University, explained
edge research into products. the potential for economic develop-
“It's a great opportunity for young ment he believes the project will
researchers here to both spend time hopefully introduce.
in the US and help translate that He told Guardian: ”The project
experience into technology transfer will harness economic impact from
back in the UK.” collaborative research projects
The project itself will focus upon between the partner organisation.
the application of photonics in life “The project will develop
sciences and renewable energy. people through the entrepreneurship
UK researchers will be able to fellowships programmes and staff
spend a year working in a Stanford or exchanges.
Caltech laboratory and there will also “It will enable pilot projects
be several staff exchanges to allow that could lead to the creation of
Jim
Jim Wilson
Wilson the development of joint activities. new enterprises.”
Committing some carnival sins
6 FEATURES features@glasgowguardian.co.uk 3rd March 2009

B
As Bolivia celebrates its cultural identity, Robin Perkins travels to Latin America to witness one of the world’s most intriguing carnivals.
olivia may well be known for its lofty peaks, its indig- dance) on the Monday. Another rather less pious tradition is the throwing of water
enous population and its position as Latin America’s Since the first homage some two hundred years ago the between the audience and the excessive drinking not only of
second landlocked country, however, what most people numbers of participents has grown to nearly 30,000 dancers and specators but particpents as well. Come Sunday evening many
do not realise is that it is also home to one of Latin America’s some 10,000 musicians. Each group consists of teams of dancers dancers are visibly inebriated, stumbling behind their troops or
most colourful and intriguing Carnavals. Once a year the former and a band, not too dissimilar to the British brass bands, associ- supported by fellow dancers, not at all helped by their participa-
mining city of Oruro, lying some 200 kilometres south of ated with the former mining communities. However, Oruro is tion in the exhausting parades.
capital La Paz, is transformed into a sea of dance, music and no ‘Brassed Off’. As a local Ormeno said, this year’s Carnaval was the biggest
debauchery — all done in the name of the mysterious Virgen The dances include satirical representations of the Spanish yet and that it continues to grow each year. It represents an
del Socavon. Conquistadores, traditional folkloric dances such as the economic lifeline for one of the poorest areas of Bolivia where
Now recognised as the captial of Bolivian folkore, Oruro’s Llamerada, Morenadas (inspired by the suffering of the black the mining industry is a shadow of its former self and where
carnaval has its origins in a rare mix of catholic piety, paganic slaves brought by the Spanish to work in Bolivia’s mines) and employment rates remain low.
ritual and indigenous folklore. The festivities are held in the Tobas, from the indigenous communities of the Amazon. Every hotel changes its rates from Bolivianos to Dollars,
name of La Virgen del Socavon (Virgin of the Mineshaft), an Each group of dancers has its own specific identity, traditions (around seven times more valuable), and every citizen becomes
apparition of the Virgin Mary said to have appeared on the wall and dances; some with hundreds of years of history and others an entrepreneur, selling waterproofs, umbrellas, water baloons,
of one of the city’s mine shafts in 1789. Ever since, the mining cold beers and food. Alongside this influx of tourists, the city
community has paid homage with outlandish parades in her “Come Sunday evening many dancers are vis- was visited this year by President Evo Morales, on the dawn
honour. The festivites however, also incorporate indigenous ibly inebriated, stumbling behind their troops of his succesful attempt to implement a new Bolivian constiu-
celebrations, such as the Ito festival of the Uru pepople, which or supported by fellow dancers, not helped by tution on February 7th. Morales showed his own indigenous
were forbidden by the Spanish in the 17th Century, but the heritige, dancing alongside the Diabladas and later joining one
the exhausting parades”
people continued to celebrate, concealing their beliefs within the marching bands, mainly made up of indigenous Oruroenos,
Catholic symbolism. relatively recent. Every year the costumes are more impressive, playing along to the joy of the watchful crowds.
The Carnaval is the highlight of the calender, not only the the dances more expressive and the music louder and brasher. Each year the festivites continue to grow and Oruro’s renown
Oruro community but for the whole of Bolivia, now accepted The most impressive and recogniseable of these groups are the continues to spread. Though a Christian tradition, the Carnaval
as Bolivia’s best Carnaval and named by UNESCO in 2001 as Diabladas, leading the Carnaval and ending it. They are seen is keeping alive local, indigenous traditions and culture in a
a Masterpiece of the Oral and Itangible Heritage of Humanity. to represent the Devil or to others, the indigenous god if the country with one of the biggest indigenous populations in Latin
The preperations begin as early as November building to a five mountains Tio Suapi, dressed with bright costumes and intricate America. It has also become an important economic influx for
day weekend the week before Ash Wednesday. masks, dancing alongside evil bears and seductive she-devils. the region with the aid of tourism, albeit concentrated on one
The highlight of the festivities is Saturday’s four kilometer They do however, also represent the high society of Oruro, who weekend in the year.
parade through the city by some fifty or so groups of dancers and are able to pay for expensive costumes and the privelege to be A number of the Carnaval’s dancing troops are open to
musicians in outlandish costumes culminating in the Socavon the stars of the Carnaval. anyone who wishes to participate, or those who have the money
Church where they pay homage to the Virgen and enact scenes Over the weekend of the Carnaval, a normally quiet, poor, and time. Many non-Oruroenos have participated in this unique
between good and evil, the devil and angels. The parade starts alti-plano city fills with tourists from Bolivia celebrating their event, however, regardless of any influx of tourists and new
at 7am and lasts into the early hours of the following morning, own folkloric traditions and visitors from all over the world participants, the Carnaval remains a celebration of Bolivia’s
repeated again the next day and ending in the Diablada (Devil wishing to witness the impressive spectacle. folkloric and historic traditions.

Robin Perkins
3rd March 2009 features@glasgowguardian.co.uk FEATURES 7

Welcome to Digger land

David Graham Scott

George Binning hunts down the controversial James Cruickshank, editor of Glasgow’s infamous Digger magazine

I
magine a publication with such relentless and detailed crime quite surprised by his insistent defence of a man he did not seem He admits that it’s almost impossible to substantiate some
reportage that even the most scandalous tabloid journalists to have much affinity with. stories to the standard of the mainstream press, but Cruickshank
turn their backs in disgust. Imagine this magazine’s editor “I did notice there was quite a lot of hearsay printed.” He is agitated by my suggestion of a vigilante like edge to his
retreating underground and working from a secret office to eventually admitted, “The problem is you’ve got some wee guy editorial policy. “It’s not vigilantism, it’s genuine investigative
evade the death threats he receives from the infuriated criminals talking about some junkie and Cruickshank’s printing something journalism that the Scottish press have stopped doing.”
and gangsters that fill its pages. Welcome to Digger land, please which might be a heap of lies. The issue is going to be that that Whether you agree or not, if none of the mainstream papers
check your sense of all that is good and true in at reception. person is probably not going to be in a position where they can want, or are legally able, to pursue such scandals within the
I met with James Cruickshank, the Digger himself, to discuss take out a legal action against the Digger.” authorities, is there no justification to continue under the radar?
why his publication both thrilled and appalled me. I also spoke This is the kind of dilemma that the magazine regularly With Cruickshank’s casual gossip of communists, corrup-
to David Graham Scott, creator of the documentary: “The Dirty throws up; the practice printing the addresses of suspected tion and conspiracy, I feel like I’m beginning to understand his
Digger”, who worked as a Digger photographer and filmed his paedophiles or naming police informers can get those involved worldview: his Digger-ish outlook. As my sense of the good
experiences at the paper. badly hurt. Cruickshank does not seem to consider the implica- and the true seems to have gained the upper hand Scott throws a
Cruickshank has had quite a turbulent career; In 2003 he tions of sharing such sensitive information as his problem. curveball, showing the situation in a different light.
was ejected from the National Union of Journalists (NUJ) for “If you own a shop that sells kitchen knives and someone “The Digger works from a grassroots level which the news-
an allegedly libellous article in a union newsletter about Paul buys and knife and stabs someone is the shop that is at fault?” papers don’t speak from. It taps into a popular myth or miscon-
Holleran, National Organiser for the NUJ, “It was absolutely he argues, “I don’t think so.” It occurs to me that it’s more like ception that there is this huge conspiracy going on. The reader-
ridiculous,” he told me, “It just reinforced allegations that the selling a knife to a lunatic who offers to pay in severed fingers. ship wonder how these big time crime lords are getting away
NUJ is a communist organisation. It’s out to protect its own Scott describes the reputation the Digger has picked up with it and Cruickshank says because they’re in cahoots with the
members and wants to bring the industry to its knees.” amongst the criminal fraternity: “The prospect of being in the police. They wonder how the GHA are running ruffshod over the
The Digger started in August 2004, selling for 30 pence with Digger frightens folk because it does get people incensed. With tennants and he will explain it’s because it’s run by gangsters.
a first print run of 500. Now it is 85 pence and its print run is those small time characters the Digger can probably get away They wonder: “Why are we so fucking poor? Why do we not get
round about 11,000. The history of the magazine has often made with quite a lot of naming and shaming. But not when fighting public services? Because there’s this big conspiracy keeping us
its own headlines. Cruickshank has faced a series of lawsuits the Glasgow Housing Association (GHA) though, they’re a very in poverty,” and that can placate them to a certain extent.
as a result of his no-holes-barred brand of often libellous or powerful organisation.” “I thought at first the Digger was going to be very right
unfounded investigative journalism. Nevertheless Cruickshank does take on the GHA as well as wing but it isn’t. It covers stories of racial abuse sexual abuse,
“We’re banned from the city council, Glasgow city council, the police, the council, the masons, and any other stories the minority issues, issues to do with the corruption that he sees in
we can’t phone up their press office, because again it’s an mainstream press won’t touch. the council, the police and the HHA especially. It’s a big deal,
agency which is an enemy of free speech. “That’s when stories can start to not be fully substantiated,” the GHA, because a lot of the readership are in that environ-
“The state at one point withdrew our court privileges on Cruickshank says, “The police are a secretive organisation and ment.”
unfounded allegations, and I eventually had to pay £6000 to it’s very difficult to prove allegations of corruption within the I wonder how my attitude to the Digger has been affected
right a wrong.” police because, who’s going to corroborate it? Violent crime as a distanced, broadsheet reading, wannabe journalist who just
This is Cruickshank’s version of a time when his journalistic only survives if its being aided and abetted by so called law- wants to see codes of practice upheld and standards met in the
privileges were withdrawn after The Digger named and pictured abiding citizens. media; whether it prevents me from seeing the real value the
the eight-year-old daughter of a Glasgow crime boss wearing a “The police must be made properly accountable, the govern- Digger has to its target readership.
bulletproof vest in her garden. ment could investigate the police but they don’t — the only way “The Digger is a thorn in the side of the establishment,”
Scott’s documentary is quite critical of the Digger and its that is going to happen is if the mainstream media start investi- Cruickshank sums up cheerily. By all accounts, this allegation
ruthless naming and shaming of local petty crooks, so I was gating the police but they won’t do it either.” is well founded.
Fear and loathing
8 FEATURES features@glasgowguardian.co.uk 3rd Mar

in the Middle East

In a country that feels constantly under attack, what progress can peace make? Chris Watt
heads to Israel to investigate teenage conscription and militaristic attitudes in the region

S
ixteen - year - old troubled town in southern Israel, he is The fighting talk among young Touring Sderot’ bombsites with Ron, as he introduces himself,
Asher is tring to grow a happy to talk about his concerns. Israelis exemplifies the patriotic anger Israeli Defence Force spokesman says the recent campaign in Gaza
moustache, but he’s not “The most important thing is the that has built up in Sderot during eight Captain Ron Adelheit it is the latter destroyed hundreds of the tunnels used
doing a very good job. Kassams, the army and Gaza. It’s the years of shelling from Gaza. Israeli emotion that dominates. He says that to smuggle rockets into the region and
At his stage of life you might fight against Hamas,” he says. “Israel flags adorn every item of street furni- 6000 bombs have fallen on Sderot — a sent the majority of Hamas’ arsenal
expect him to have pretty mundane should go into Gaza again and get ture, and the election posters around town smaller than Dumfries — in eight up in smoke. He smiles confidently
priorities — passing his exams, picking Gilad back with the army.” town are almost all for hawkish, right- years, killing 13 citizens. Writing this as he states that “the operation was
a university and maybe finding a girl- Asher’s are popular sentiments wing parties. from Glasgow one week later, I have definitely a success”.
friend at the same time. in a town known for little other than Sderot is a focal point of the to stop myself writing only 13. It is confusing then to say the least
For Asher, though, growing up in rocket fire and its proximity to Hamas reactionary, vengeful wrath that has Dozens of rockets stored in the that Sderot’s weary population was
one of Israel’s most troubled regions, territory. His friend Azzan, also aged gripped swathes of the Israeli popu- police station car park — just a couple roused on the morning of our visit
there are more pressing problems — 16, is quick to agree — even if his face lation; a microcosm of the forces of months’ worth — give some idea by the familiar wail of sirens as yet
the Kassam rockets that slam almost betrays lingering doubts. governing Israel. of the bombardment’s intensity. The another rocket pulverised a car on
daily into his hometown, the young “At first I didn’t want to go to the It’s a fact often overlooked in rusting archive comprises a combina- the town’s outskirts. Does that seem
soldier, Gilad Shalit, held hostage by army but now, after I’ve seen what Scotland that most Israelis feel tion of Kassams, small homemade particularly successful, I wonder?
Hamas militants inside the nearby they did in Gaza, I want to join,” he wholly justified in the occupation and explosives with a gauge of 90 to Ron, like almost everyone else I
Gaza strip, and the fact that he will says, seeming to convince himself bombing of Gaza. Awkward questions 115mm and a wildly unpredictable speak to during six days in Israel, is
have to join his country’s army in just with every word. “I think it’s good for about civilian deaths, heavy-handed trajectory; and also the larger Grads at pains to point out that the objective
two years time. Israel, and we have to fight them. Sure tactics and international law are met — factory-made in Iran, I am told, and of Operation Cast Lead was neither
Skiving school to hang around the I want to serve my country, and I feel with bewilderment at best, righteous more than capable of demolishing a to topple Hamas from power nor to
marketplace in Sderot, a small and good helping my country to survive.” anger at worst. home, as I am shown later that day. completely destroy its military.
Were the subject less serious, the
IDF spokesman would be a comical
character. He rolls up on his motor-
bike, aging military body stuffed into
a tight olive uniform, and manages
about half an hour of amicable sight-
seeing — his civilian job is, in fact, as
a tour guide — before persistent ques-
tioning frays his patience and awakens
the anger aroused by a delegation of
“patronising” student journalists.
The question is put bluntly: would
he call Israel’s force in Gaza propor-
tionate to the threat?
“I’ll put something else in propor-
tion,” he replies. “We have one soldier
sitting in the Gaza strip for almost
three years. Hamas wants a thou-
sand terrorists for one soldier. Is that
proportionate?”
Well no, obviously not, but can he
please answer the question?
He believes he has. “That is the
answer. Proportion is that we will
open fire to make sure the source of
fire will not fire again. And we’ll do
it fast, quick, with the necessary force
to close their fire and we will not have
any casualties on our side.”
Perhaps sensing scepticism, he
moves on.
“I’ll go somewhere else. Say a
bank robber with a gun runs into a
bank, and takes a person as a hostage.
Israeli Defence force spokesperson Captain Ron Adelheit, aboard board his motorbike in Sderot, a Southern District of Israel, where he carries out his civilian job as tour guide. The person is definitely a hostage.
rch 2009 features@glasgowguardian.co.uk FEATURES 9

A policeman comes in. He’s with a was going on in Sderot. There was the send its young into such seemingly built. And even though meetings with seen a Palestinian state and probably
gun, the robber is with a gun, and the world of Tel Aviv and its environs, futile situations? Palestinians in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem never will.
policeman knows, ‘In two seconds and then there was the world down One senior official in Israel’s are both cancelled because of border “I think my three year old might
he’s shooting at me’. So he takes here. The moment the Grads started Ministry of Foreign Affairs, speaking problems trying to enter Israel, that live one day in a Palestinian state, but
out his gun and he tries to shoot reaching the wider area, though, they under condition of anonymity, puts situation itself says as much about the not in my time,” he says, adding that
the robber. The hostage gets killed. really got interested. Since then we’ve forward a discomforting hypothesis: Palestinians’ plight as any interview the recent conflict critically threat-
There’s a court case afterwards. Who seen the same symptoms in a bigger “Imagine some kind of French resis- possibly could. ened hopes of negotiations.
is charged? The robber with murder, population over a wider area — lots of tance group was firing rockets across But one thing the trip certainly does “It’s not productive for either
because that is the case — that is feelings of anger and frustration. the Channel into London for eight display is the flipside of a conflict that side. The rockets are still flying into
international law. If somebody takes “But since the war, people are years. They weren’t killing many, but is, in many Scottish minds, an entirely Israel, the situation remains as it is,
a hostage, that person is responsible. willing to put up with things in the the intention was there. What do you black and white affair. However one and conditions are going back how
Hamas is taking the people hostage.” belief that there might be some sort of think Britain would do about it?” may judge Israel’s conduct, an under- they were before. Nothing changed
I protest, but Captain Adelheit’s solution. It’s tolerable trauma, or fear. I like to think the response would standing of their concerns is essential on the ground. We’ll see what the new
message (he no longer seems like You can cope with a certain amount, be measured, precise and propor- if any progress is to be made beyond government will bring.”
Ron) is somewhat obscured when he and there’s maybe a little bit of opti- tionate. But would we wait for UN mere condemnation and futile anger. Among the bitter hawks and tragic
shouts over me: “Aren’t the morals mism as well. People stop feeling backing before taking action? Recent The peace process is now at a doves on both sides of the conflict, it
and standards that Israel is holding passive and they start feeling active.” history suggests otherwise. Would we crossroads, and there is no-one in seems voices of moderation are rare.
in this conflict much higher than any Dr Katz, a pacifist who opposes send in ground troops, accepting the Israel who does not want the fighting Robi Damelin, though, provides an
other country’s standards in any other Jewish settlements in Gaza and risk of British casualties but mini- to end one way or another. It is the oasis of hope among the charred battle-
place in the world? Think about it.” supports the creation of a Palestinian mising civilian deaths? Or would we terms of any settlement that will pose fields; an Israeli Jew whose young
But the idea of Palestinians as the next obstacle, but as the new son, David, was killed by a sniper
Hamas hostages is aired time and time “Hamas wants a thousand terrorists for government assembles under right- while serving in the IDF, she has spent
again by people across Israeli society, winger Binyamin Netanyahu’s leader- the last six years forging bonds across
though the initial means of Hamas’
one soldier. Is that proportionate?” ship, the prospects look bleak. the borders and lobbying the govern-
ascent to power — a democratic elec- state, looks almost ashamed as she bomb the wider area, protecting our Most commentators within Israel ment to enter into a genuine dialogue
tion — rarely comes up. admits her thoughts on the recent own at the enemy population’s cost? see little prospect of reconciliation, with Palestinian leaders. Personally
Dr Adriana Katz, the director of conflict: “There’s a value to life, and One recurrent argument is that such is the public anger at incoming scarred by the conflict, she proves
Sderot’s Centre for Mental Health and I’m always in favour of peace. But for Israel’s conscript army, drawing rocket-fire and the prolonged captivity that it is possible to escape the vicious
Trauma, is adamant that European the first time in my life I wanted to say recruits as it does from every family of Gilad Shalit. It seems like more or circle — a term given a literal dimen-
visitors cannot understand the forces thank you to the commander of the air in the country, is able to survive less everyone has their own reasons sion in the Middle Eastern conflict —
that govern Israeli minds. force, because living here before was only because individual soldiers’ for coming to the same conclusion and move towards reconciliation.
Originally from Italy, Dr Katz totally intolerable.” safety is held as paramount. Would — that any hopes of peace have been What does she think is the major
says: “The people living in Gaza Observers and activists in the UK the voluntary, professional composi- crushed in recent years. obstacle in the peace process?
are basically hostages in one way are quick to judge — and perhaps accu- tion of Britain’s forces make combat Jerusalem Post editor David Her answer echoes Dr Katz’s claim
or another. I have a lot of conversa- rately — but what is often forgotten is deaths more acceptable to the voting Horowitz, whose right-wing English- that fear is the factor spuring Israelis
tions with people who end up on this that Israel has its reasons, whether or population? These are questions that, language daily is one of Israel’s into violent action, but — unlike many
side, and they tell me how life there not one agrees with them, for sending thankfully, we do not have to address most influential media organs, states of the people I speak to — she recog-
has no value, and how many terrible its teenage conscripts into the never- right now, but the answers may not be bitterly that “unilateralism is buried nises that the Palestinians too have
things the people over there have gone ending theatres of war around the as simple as they seem. under the Kassam rockets”, and that emotions and fears like any Jew.
through. You start to look at it slightly country’s borders. My trip to Israel, organised by the the hawkish Israeli mindset has been If there is to be any hope of resolu-
differently [when you live here], and I The soldiers risking their lives in Union of Jewish Students and paid for bolstered by the election of Hamas. tion in the years ahead, Robi Damelin’s
don’t see any solution. You just have Lebanon, the Gaza Strip, and even by the Pears Foundation, a UK-based “There is a sense that if even the words must be sung from the rooftops
to survive.” on the streets of Israel’s cities, are the Jewish charity, was never going to outgoing government couldn’t make a and set in stone on Israel’s borders.
She has seen first hand the crip- children of those men and women who present a completely bipartisan view deal,” he continues, “then we’d better “Knowing is the beginning,” she
pling toll of the conflict on her neigh- give the orders for war. Everyone we of the conflict. It is not, however, as just try and manage this conflict and says, “and fear of the Jews is the worst
bours’ emotional state and — chill- speak to has served in the forces them- one-sided as I had expected; even protect ourselves as well as we can.” enemy of peace.”
ingly — believes there may be a self- selves and most have children either within Jewish Israeli society there are Khaled Abu Alia, a Palestinian Only once Israel’s leaders under-
perpetuating element to the fighting. about to go to or recently returned deep divisions and violent disagree- born just months after the 1967 war stand the truth of this statement can
“Until the war,” she says, “no-one from conflict zones. What kind of ments over how best to pull the country redefined Israel’s borders yet again, is anyone hope for harmony in the
in the country was interested in what mentality must exist for a nation to out of the quicksand on which it is resigned to the fact that he has never Middle East.
Sense and Censor-bility
10 FEATURES features@glasgowguardian.co.uk 3rd March 2009

T
Tom Bonnick investigates the murky waters of the organisations self-appointed to police the Internet for us
here are few superlatives yet to be to which the Internet Service Providers with overturning of the original decision was, after that I am sorely mistaken, and in this regard,
utilised in description of the Internet’s whom they work can voluntarily adhere. Any a rejected appeal, the independent board ruling Robertson is far less coy.
mind-boggling capacities. It is the webpage on the blacklist cannot, therefore, be — so how does the organisation safeguard “We don’t censor; what we do is provide
world’s largest communication platform; the accessed anywhere using one of these ISPs. against this sort of thing? this list.” Yes, I say, but then ISPs use the list,
greatest tool for creative freedom for some, All of the pages have been deemed by the IWF “If you were one of our independent inspec- and then people can’t see things anymore —
and creativity’s greatest threat to others. It to contain images of child sexual abuse, and tors, appointed by our independent board, you harmless things about rubbish hard rock bands
is, according to technophiles, the single most until last year, the whole process had received would feel reassured, I suspect.” It isn’t entirely — and then, those things have been censored.
significant advance of the twentieth century remarkably little interest from the mainstream made clear to me why this would be the case. I do not phrase myself quite so facetiously, but
and, in the minds of some of the more reac- media, except to address a few concerns that Thanks to the glowing successes that have the answer is no less emphatic.
tionary tabloids, a modern-day Wild West with the list could be reverse-engineered and used come about from the financial market being “Well, there is no law to do it – it’s abso-
no purpose other than propagating degenerate for more nefarious purposes. allowed to run itself, however it pleases, any lutely voluntary. Being a member of the IWF
pornography and convincing vulnerable teen- However, in December 2008, the blacklist mention of the phrase ‘self-regulation’ has is voluntary, and if you are one, then the list
agers to become anorexic. appeared in the headlines after a Wikipedia begun to send my scepticism-sense tingling: is voluntary.” This seems like semantics —
Given such a profound ambivalence, then, page for a record by 80s metal band Scorpion, the problem with being told that private institu- whether the Internet is being censored volun-
it is hardly surprising that governments and entitled Virgin Killers, was added, after its tions can run front-line services responsibly, tarily or not misses the point; after all, every
law-enforcement agencies have had such a hard album cover was considered to be inappro- and with the public’s interests at heart, is the major ISP is a member of the Foundation.
time policing the ether. priate. The reaction from the press was not overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I am still not entirely sure why this isn’t
As well as the prolonged and complicated so much an outcry, as a cry of bemusement: The IWF are different, of course, in that censorship, even if it’s a good kind. Robertson
mess surrounding illegal downloading from after all, the album could still be bought on they are not out to make money from their seems pretty sick of having accusations levelled
sources such as BitTorrent — a mess that has Amazon, and had been around for 20 years — endeavours. Indeed, the worry that has been against the IWF.
arisen entirely because of erstwhile legislators’ what made it illicit all of a sudden? frequently voiced in the media in the wake of “I wonder what conceptual rights you’re
failure to anticipate that, one day, this would After initially sticking to their guns, the the “Wikipedia incident”, as Robertson calls defending. If you accept that we’re a relevant
become a problem — authorities are surrounded IWF eventually backed down and released it — or, as I prefer, “Virgin Killers-gate” — is authority, and understand a bit more the basis
with an increasingly fraught set of issues around the page from their list, citing unique reasons not mismanagement of the service but, rather, on which we work … It’s difficult, because
freedom of speech and the censorship of online of contextuality. I spoke to the organisation’s over-eager management. you have the contextual issues of the Wikipedia
content; civil liberties groups on one side, and Communications Director, Sarah Robertson, When I ask whether she thinks self-regu- incident, so if you take that aside for a moment,
sensationalist journalism on the other. to ask her about their operations. How was the lation is the best way of going about business, around 50% of the sites we deal with are levels
In the last decade, several organisations blacklist started, for instance? Robertson offers an impassioned defence of the 4 and 5 [The IWF use a 1-5 scale to measure
have sprung up to address some of these When it comes to the list — and indeed, IWF’s trustworthiness. the severity of images; level 5 images are of
concerns and fill the void left by the govern- any contentious issue in which the IWF is “There’s no regulation behind this, and in penetrative sex involving children]. Rather than
ment’s apparent lack of interest in directly involved — Robertson becomes rather self- fact people — stakeholders, the government, come at it from the Wiki-angle, come at it from
legislating on the matter of whether or not effacing with regards to the Foundation’s everyone — feels that self-regulation can be the last ten years-angle.”
the public ought to be prevented from seeing achievements. “Some of our members much more responsive. Legislation tends to be There is no denying, then, that the work of
anything on the Internet. approached us and asked if we could provide a lot slower, and by the time it comes to pass, the Internet Watch Foundation over those years
The most prominent of these is the Internet them with a list. It’s not meant to be a large things have changed and there’s a new chal- has undoubtedly been an incredibly important
Watch Foundation (IWF), who act as a hotline scale answer, but we’ve gradually been devel- lenge. And this doesn’t cost you anything!” kind; work that ought to be done.
for the public to report illegal content, and oping resources to maintain it.” The impression I receive — and which However, with so little regulatory control
are the ‘notice and take-down’ body for the And the Scorpions page? How did that I have no doubt conveyed thus far — is that currently in place, the organisation’s position
industry as a whole. business come about? the IWF effectively block websites; for this, calls to mind the old query best phrased by
In 2004, the IWF developed a so-called “Well, that was an anomaly, and it came however indirectly, is the outcome of their Juvenal: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who
blacklist, compiled of several hundred URLs, out in that way.” Still, the only reason for the actions: websites are blocked. It seems, though, guards the guards?

Stefan Sealey
3rd March 2009 features@glasgowguardian.co.uk FEATURES 11

Serious about Socialism?

Jim Wilson

D
As the part privatisation of Royal Mail is announced, James Maxwell explores the ideological chaos at the heart of the British Labour Party
uring the 1990s, the Labour Party quietly aban- ideas that has determined debate in Britain since the start of credits and increased public spending as evidence that the ‘Third
doned the language of the old left and adopted a the twentieth century. It could effectively put an end to politics. Way’ works. But all these achievements have been put at risk by
less politically-loaded vocabulary. References to The difficulty, however, that the former Prime Minister and his Labour’s unshakeable faith in the ability of the free-market to
the ‘working-classes’ vanished and ministers began Chancellor failed to recognise — the theoretical flaw that would regulate and direct itself, even in the middle of a crisis.
talking instead of ‘hard-working families’. ultimately banish Labour to the ideological no-mans-land it The minimum wage is meaningless to someone who cannnot
Discussions concerning the redistribution of wealth and the currently treads — is (and it now seems painfully self-evident) find work or has been made redundant; working families’ tax
nationalisation of key industries dried-up, while thinly sketched that socialism and the free-market are not compatible. For all its credits are only operational when those families are working;
concepts of social justice and equality of opportunity appeared slick sociological jargon and expert analysis, the ‘Third Way’ is and public services are certain to suffer during times of reces-
with increasing frequency in the party’s press releases and essentially an illusion. sion. In the coming months, hundreds of thousands of people
campaign pamphlets. Eventually, most of the ideas traditionally Over the course of the last twelve months that illusion has will lose their jobs because a generation of so-called social-
associated with the social democratic movement in Britain were been repeatedly shattered, on a world-wide scale. The implo- democrats capitulated to the political settlement established by
reduced to a series of glossy, uncontroversial slogans. Today, by sion of the global financial markets and the partial collapse of Mrs. Thatcher.
way of an official mission statement, Labour offers only empty the British banking system have given lie to the notion that the Further evidence of the intellectual disorder the Labour
rhetoric: state can control private enterprise from a distance and produce Party presently languishes in can be found here, on the campus
“(Our) purpose is fairness: fair rules, fair chances and a fair results that serve the interests of working people. of Glasgow University. Last year, the GU Labour Club revealed
say for everyone”. For example, Labour’s refusal to impose tighter restrictions a new slogan: ‘Serious About Socialism’.
This vague platitude is indicative of the ideological confu- on mortgage and credit companies’ lending habits has lead to Like David Tait, GULC co-chair Patrick Mcglinchey denies
sion that has engulfed the Labour Party and most of its affiliate an astonishing and unsustainable increase in levels of personal that there is any necessary conflict between considering one’s
organisations since the ascendency of Blairism and the electoral debt. This has plunged the economy into recession at time when self part of the radical left and being an active member and
victory of 1997. Blair and Brown were supporters and enthusi- state debt is approaching record highs. As of January this year, it admirer of Labour in its existing form:
asts of the ‘Third Way’ - a project that claimed to have recon- accounted for almost 50% of the UK’s gross domestic product, “The Labour Party”, he says emphatically, “is something
ciled two mutually opposed philosophies: socialism and neo- worth fighting for”.
liberalism. It argued that, in practice, the latter is unrivalled in
“Hundreds of thousands of people will lose So far, however, those who have battled to move the party
its capacity to generate wealth and prosperity, while the former their jobs because a generation of so-called back onto more progressive territory have lost every fight they
is more conducive to the collective good and social welfare of social-democrats capitulated to the political have engaged in. Government policy remains in the hands of
the country. the extreme centrists and the social Thatcherites. With these
The distributive power of central government must, then,
settlement established by Mrs. Thatcher” self-proclaimed ‘modernisers’ still in charge, there is no good
be combined with the productive power of the market and while government expenditure rose to more than £585 billion. reason to believe that Labour will resolve its identity crisis any
the profits shared equitably throughout society. With the state Gordon Brown is now faced with choice of addressing the time soon. On issues of asylum and immigration, it will continue
operating at arms length, private capital- under the benign guid- Treasury’s astonishing deficit, or pumping money into public to parrot the rhetoric of the ultra-right; on public investment and
ance of Smith’s ‘invisible hand’- will stimulate unprecedented services. He can’t do both. Labour’s attempts to balance a lightly state intervention, it will claim inspiration from Clemet Atlee
economic growth, employment security, and increased tax regulated economy alongside large scale municipal development and Aneurin Bevan.
revenue, which can, in turn, be translated into better schools, have, predictably, caved in on themselves. The party is in a state of moral drift. Even, Mr. Mcglinchey
hospitals and city transport systems. In other words, New And yet the government and its supporters stick firmly to admits that it needs to “re-discover its purpose.”
Labour believed that capitalism could be used as a means by their dogmas. David Tait, Convenor of Debates at the GU and a For over a decade, Labour has defied those who have
which to achieve socialist ends. member of the Labour Party states: attempted to place it at one or other end of the political spec-
If successful, Labour could present itself as both a ‘demo- “It is categorically not the case that there is a contradiction trum. It has declared itself beyond the false left/right dichotomy.
cratic, socialist party’ committed to massively expanding public between being in the Labour Party and being a socialist. Within It has refused to publicly define itself.
sector investment, reducing material inequality, and promoting socialism there is a tension between practice and theory. This As such, the electorate is now struggling to discern exactly
international development, and as a supporter of low taxation, government has established a healthy compromise between the what the party stands for, where its values lie, and why it
unregulated markets, and free-trade. It could be a friend to two. It has used the market to achieve concrete good, without deserves to govern the country. In fact, voters are increasingly
the banker and the borrower; the trade unions and the bosses; sacrificing its principles.” looking to the alternatives for a more precise and purposeful
the City and the slums. It could finally resolve the conflict of Mr. Tait identifies the minimum wage, working families’ tax leadership in the UK. After all, that seems only fair.
12 EDITORIAL features@glasgowguardian.co.uk 3rd March 2009
Glasgow University John McIntyre Building
University Avenue
Glasgow G12 8QQ

0141 341 6215

editorials@glasgowguardian.co.uk
glasgowguardian.co.uk www.glasgowguardian.co.uk

Proposition without opposition Politics and PR nightmares

The number of unopposed and vacant posi- involved in the majority of the main student It is with a certain amount of disappoint- deal simply does not wash, surely the SWP are
tions, in all but one of the current student elec- elections at Glasgow University. If this process ment that Guardian reports on the fallout from opposed to this kind of stifling beaurocracy?
tions, is a damning indictment of the level of is to repeat continually, then the student body Glasgow’s occupation. When a serious and Refusing to collect because it detracts from the
student participation at Glasgow University, faces a situation where they will no longer be urgent cause is pushed by an interest group with DEC appeal is an equally frail defence.
and the entire electoral process that serves to represented by traditionally elected individ- such force, almost everybody in the community Similarly the failure to follow through
fill the numerous positions. uals, but simply those who can string together seriously considers where they stand on the on what they originally hailed a “triumphant
As a result of various technical and apathetic enough friends to propose them to the position issue. This means that the group in question success” was not a good way of gaining soli-
reasons, two of the four Presidential positions of their choosing. will be somewhat responsible for informing darity with the wider student population. When
open for election will most likely not be filled It must also be mentioned that this is not the opinion of the many; a hefty burden to bear they took Computer Sciences by storm none
by a candidate who has won more votes than criticism of those that are running in these elec- even if shared amongst 30 (or four, depending of the activists were complaining about the
a competitor. Additionally, several positions, tions, or indeed the manner in which they would on how you look at it). One always hopes that amount of essays they had, and this excuse is
including that of the SRC sabbatical officer conduct themselves in the role. Rather, it is a the campaigners will set a model example and likely to be met with scepticism as well.
who oversees Glasgow University’s media, criticism of the failings of the system that they that people will react favourably. Sadly this It is good news that any money has been
have nobody running at all. pass through on their way to office, and those time neither wish was granted. raised for Gaza, though demanding a DEC
Beyond this, the way in which numerous that choose to ignore their right to contribute In the case of the Israel/Palestine conflict Appeal day with so little time to prepare might
contenders for GUU positions have essentially to their education in a manner beyond turning where racial, national and religious tensions have been a little hasty. Although time was a
been wiped off the ballot paper, due to frankly up to lectures and exams. Instead of repeat- run high, it is important to project a clear significant factor in getting aid to the crisis
insignificant clerical issues, smacks of an over- edly coming up short, student organisations message. Inevitably humanitarian efforts in this and £673 is a sum to be proud of, the vet
zealous electoral process that is sacrificing must identify new methods of attracting these area become wrapped up in politics, and racism rodeo was able to raise over £26,000 with a
voter choice, in order to conform to traditional students to the empty positions. and anti-Semitism are easily confused with fundraiser organized well in advance. A second
rules and regulations. Are these rules actually Important roles, such as the President of valid resistance. This was clearly not the inten- fundraising day has been proposed, which will
protecting the integrity of the elections, or are the GUU or SRC, should not be a position of tion of the Socialist Workers Party, Stop the hopefully be better publicised and organised.
they irrelevant bureaucracy that is preventing a virtual default. They should be fought for in War Coalition and Scottish Palestine Solidarity The SRC, who normally tread very softly
larger number of nominees competing for the the strongest possible terms, between several Campaign. However the use of militaristic in even the slightest of contentious issues,
positions at the Union? determined individuals, fighting on the basis of slogans, though not racist or anti-Semitic in responded surprisingly strongly. If their extreme
The fact is, apathy has strangled student opposing manifestos, and elected on the basis itself, only alienates those who are genuinely level of disappointment is any sort of barom-
politics. The issue was reported last year in this of these. As such, and where possible, students pro-peace, perpetuating the confusion. eter of general student opinion, perhaps these
paper and the problem has only worsened in must vote to re-open nominations in any case Refusing to collect for a children’s charity political groups ought to be reassessing their
the interim, with fewer people than ever getting where an individual is running unopposed. on the grounds that it was not part of the original public image.

Photo of the week — Jim Wilson

Joss Stone takes time out to pose for the cameras and sign a few autographs, following her recent Oran Mor gig, in Glasgow’s West End.
3rd March 2009 features@glasgowguardian.co.uk LETTERS 13

To the Editors… Glasgow University

Dear Editors,

I’d like to congratulate the Glasgow University

Guardian on its coverage of the recent occupa- 10th February 2009 Scottish Student Newspaper of the Year

tion of the Computer Science building, and Folk Maestros Vintage classics
the attention the paper gives to global events, Oisin Kealy and Lewis Porteous on Eleanor Mitchell promotes individual

including Gaza.
style over copycat chic
the highlights of Celtic Connections Zoe Grams

Police fail
As a student newspaper it is important that
Music Lifestyle

the GU Guardian gives fair coverage to the Glasgow Uni How did March get here so quickly? It
interests of members of the student body and occupied by seems that people have only just recovered

to advise
this was done very well in terms of the occupa- activists from the winter examinations, and already
tion coverage, particularly in light of the biased finals are on the horizon. With time passing so

of attack
George Binning
response from student newspapers that many A SERIES OF STUDENT-DRIVEN
quickly, make sure you take advantage of all
other occupations received, such as Edinburgh protests and occupations in aid of
Gaza have prompted drastic action
that’s being offered at the Uni.
University. by universities across Scotland.
On Wednesday February 4
Here’s a quick run-down of what’s
Furthermore, the Glasgow University Sarah Smith First-year English Literature
students of Strathclyde University
staged an occupation of Strathclyde’s happening at the SRC between now and the
Guardian does an excellent job of bringing Exclusive student, Becky Sharp, told Guardian
why she feels it is important for the
registry and on Sunday January 25
the Stop the War Coalition (SWC) Easter holidays.
global current and historical events which are Elections. You’re continuously hearing
police and the University to notify and Scottish Palestinian Solidarity
THE RESIDENTS OF MURANO students when attacks like this occur. Campaign (SPSC) also staged an

important (or should be) to students, but often about them, but elections really are the best
Street Student Village were shocked She said: “I think it was irrespon- occupation of the BBC headquarters
to learn this week that they had sible for them to not alert the Murano in Glasgow.

are ignored by many, to the attention of the and most important way of getting your voice
not been informed of an attack Street residents of the attack as it is Today 10 February around 30
which took place close to one of its important that we know of the threats students of Glasgow University
main entrances. that surround the area. were continuing their occupa-
wider student body, which is both informative A 29-year old woman was inde- “I have, so far, been quite casual tion of the Computing Department heard. Elections will have taken place on 4th
cently assaulted whilst walking over about being alone and in the area of the University. The occupation
and conducive to healthy debate on campus. the canal footbridge in the early
hours of Saturday January 31. The
late at night, and hearing about the
attack makes me feel more suscep-
was a response to the events of
last Thursday when students associ-
and 5th March, but if you didn’t take advan-
Keep up the good work! assailant has not yet been caught
and the police have issued an appeal
tible to the danger and more likely to
be cautious.
ated with the SWC marched on the
Principal’s office with their demands
tage of your democratic right then fear not,
for witnesses.
Despite this, the students living
“It is important to give the
students that awareness so that they
attached to two petitions.
The first set of demands, supported
there’s another opportunity to do so.
Thanks, at Murano Street were not contacted
about the incident, nor were they
can make a more informed choice
about wandering around the area at
by 560 signatures, requested that
the University publicly condemn the
On March 9th, nominations will open for
Clare Green warned about the fact that a poten-
tially dangerous man was known to
all times.”
Another Murano resident, Rachel
BBC’s actions concerning the DEC
appeal, that the appeal be publicised the SRC’s by-election. Nominations close
be in the area.
Guardian spoke to a number of
Mitchell, explained that what was
especially concerning was that the
around campus and the University’s
website, also that a collection day April 24th so there’s plenty of time for you to
have a look at what positions are available and
students who expressed concern attack took place right next to one of for Gaza be organized. Their second
about the lack of information given Murano Street’s main entrances. petition, with 350 signatories,

Dear Editors, consider whether getting involved is right for

Scottish principals receive 10% pay rise
to them. (Continued on page 4) Protesters take to the roof of the Computing Department in solidarity with Palestine (Continued on page 5)

you (and let us tell you: it definitely is).

It is rare indeed that I find myself in agree- Rector’s Surgery. Since being elected,
GLASGOW UNIVERSITY’S PRINCIPAL, The increases will see an additional However, the Scottish Government has
ment with your esteemed colleague Mr Foley, Charles Kennedy has been showing his dedi-
Craig MacLellan
Sir Muir Russell, received a pay increase £255,000 taken from Scotland’s higher educa- announced that the figure would rise by only
almost four times the rate of inflation last lecturers have seen their pay rise by only 5% tion budget, with the total paid out to principals £30 million.
however I feel I must write to congratulate him year, making him the highest paid university
principal in Scotland.
during the same period.
Guardian recently discovered that graduate
now topping £3m for the first time.
This comes at a time when the higher
Recent research has also shown that English
universities, who already have the advantage
cation to students by attending, speaking at,
on some excellent observations made in his Sir Muir, who is due to step down from
his position in October, received a pay rise of
teaching assistants at the University of Glasgow
have not recieved a salary increase since 2002
education sector is dealing with the tightest
settlement since devolution.
of top-up fees, are increasing their share of
research funding.
and helping with, a whole host of events.
article “Occupy and resist: the return of student 12.1%, increasing his salary from £205,000 in
2007 to £230,000 in 2008. When pensions are
and, in some cases, may be earning less than
the national minimum wage.
In the budget settlement of November 2007,
Universities Scotland, the body responsible for
Glasgow University defended the decision
to increase the principle’s salary, stating that the
His monthly Rector’s Surgery will take place
radicalism?” published 10th of February 2009 included, the figure rises to £262,000.
University principals across Scotland saw
There are meetings planned to address this
situation, but it is unlikely that any increase in
representing and promoting Scotland’s higher
education sector, had asked for an increase of
pay rise is related to performance and reflects
the University’s recent success.
on March 19th from 12.30 to 2pm in the
AD. While I do not share many of the views their salaries rise by an average of 10%, while pay will be as high as 12.1%. £168 million over three years. (Continued on page 3)
SRC Advice Centre. Students are welcome
Editors: George Binning & James Porteous
expressed, my eye was caught by the passage to drop-in to have a chat about any concerns
Deputy Editor: Tom Bonnick Film Editor: Lewis Porteous Lewis, Markee Rambo-Hood,
“NUS... recently voted to bypass most of its News Editor: Sarah Smith Picture Editor: Jim Wilson Laura Doherty, James Maxwell, they may have. Charles can then address any
democratic channels in favour of a rigid, top- Features Editors: Tara Reporters: Ishbel Begg, Craig Louise Ogden, Claire Strickett, issues, alongside the SRC, by working closely
down bureaucracy run by non-student political Hepburn & Pete Ramand MacLellan, Ross Mathers, Amy Colin Daniels, Rebecca Day, with the University.
appointees”. Sports Editor: Harry Tattersall McGregor Robin Perkin, Chris Watt, Zoe Council Meeting. If you’re considering
Smith Columnists: Ben Freeman, Grams
The undemocratic and dictatorial nature of Photographers: Sean
running in the May by-election, it would be
Music Editor: Oisín Kealy Jamie Ross
NUS was something that I, and other members Lifestyle Editors: Michelle Contributors: Ellie Gallagher, Anderson, Luke Winter, extremely useful to head along to the Council
of the Glasgow University NO2NUS Campaign, Williams & David Kirkpatrick Laura Cernis, Dominic Maxwell- ‘CrazyBobbles’, Stefan Sealey Meeting on March 19th at 6.30pm in the
complained of vociferously a mere two years The Glasgow University Guardian is editorially independent of the SRC and University. All Williams Room. All students are welcome
ago during the referendum on Glasgow’s complaints should be addressed to the editors, who can be reached via the above contact details. to attend these meetings, at which ideas for
potential membership of the National Union improving students’ experiences at Glasgow,
of Students. At that time we would have This newspaper is funded through and supported by the and different policies and events, are discussed.
welcomed the support of Mr Foley and his Glasgow University Students’ Representitive Council. Find out what’s done.
comrades in fighting to preserve the political Green Week. Preparations are being made
independence of our University. Instead he to make the week of the 23rd March as
and others of his political persuasion used all environmentally-friendly and fun as possible.
of their campaigning expertise and resources
to push for Glasgow’s entry into NUS and our
glasgowguardian.co.uk Watch this space for more information of
what’s on. Mobile phone recycling, a visit to
submission to central control. Glasgow Wood Recycling, a film night and a
I am pleased to note his political conversion The Glasgow University Guardian’s new website is now on-line, fundraiser are just a few examples of what’s
and trust that he is duly grateful to the hundreds allowing you to discuss and comment on anything we print, and the going on!
of No2NUS campaigners, QMU, SRC, GUSA reactions of others. Last but not least, March is the month that
and GUU who combined to save Glasgow Subcity Radio are broadcasting on 106.6FM.
from the politically impotent and out of touch You’ll also be able to read the full paper before it’s available in print, You can hear them online at subcity.org but
bureaucracy of the NUS, so skillfully depicted now it’s even easier for you to listen to some
without even having to leave your home, and catch up on any issues
by Mr Foley. of Glasgow’s finest DJs play a huge range of
you’ve missed during the year. music. Turn up the volume and enjoy.
Yours sincerely,
We relish a heated debate, so the site is your chance to have your say Glasgow University Guardian welcomes letters
David A. Tait on current news, sports events, and a wealth of features and lifestyle to the editors; a selection are printed each
Former Chairman content. Log on, and join in. issue. Please mark them ‘To the Editors — for
Glasgow University NO2NUS Campaign printing’, and send them to the above address.
14 SPORT sport@glasgowguardian.co.uk 3rd March 2009

GUSA honours Glasgow sporting achievements

Colin Daniels bronze in the 4x50m freestyles; as British Universities Championships.
Miller reflected: Sarah Finlay managed this feat in
The Marriot Hotel was the scene of “This achievement is even greater Riding, reaching the regional final
great rejoicing as the annual GUSA when you consider that she really of the competition, while David
Blues Reception took place. considers herself a long distance MacPherson won a Judo silver
The awards ceremony — a swimmer.” medal in the national event. The
pinnacle of the university sporting The awards recognise Glasgow senior men’s boat team also finished
calendar as part of the GUSA Ball students who have been called up to second at the British Universities
— is held annually to acknowledge play at national level in their respec- Regatta, which preceded their selec-
those university teams and students tive sports. This landmark achieve- tion to represent Great Britain at
who have made outstanding contri- ment has been reached by various the European Universities Regetta in
butions to sport over the years. individuals. Alasdair Mott’s lacrosse which they finished eighth.
GUSA President Euan Miller career was, according to Miller: Many Half Blues were given to
hosted the Reception to present the “Given its silver lining when he those students who have reached the
various accolades — Full Blues, Half was selected to represent the Scotland Scottish Universities Championships.
Blues and Awards — to those nomi- senior squad,” In athletics, Andrew Douglas was Fraser Anderson
nated by the student body across the Additionally, Chris Paton was crowned champion at the 3000m for the Celtic Nations in Dublin. her name, had the honour of lifting
entire campus. called up to the national under-19 the second time. Miller reflected on This year marked the introduc- the new trophy in its inaugural year.
Miller opened the ceremony team. Kevin McCloy was particu- yet another encouraging homegrown tion of a new award, the Rebecca As well as outstanding individ-
by highlighting the achievements larly outstanding in representing success in waterpolo: Cooke Trophy, to recognise the most uals, the ceremony acknowledged the
of Chris Wilson; the swimmer was Athletics, finishing third at the “Suzy Lewis had never played outstanding sportswoman at the excellent performances of particular
magnificent at the Scottish University Scottish Championships — an event waterpolo before coming to univer- university. The award’s name is a clubs. The women’s rugby team was
Championships, winning gold in not exclusively set up for Scottish sity but she has grown into an excel- fitting reward for the student who given the William Ross Cunningham
the 200m IM, silver in the 100m nationals but remarkably open to an lent player.” has achieved the remarkable feat of Memorial Trophy whilst the boat
Breaststroke and bronze in the 100m international field. Lewis’progress was marked by her winning the Bob Wilson Memorial men’s first squad, in light of their
IM. Emma Reid’s performance at the The awards also distinguish being asked to train with the national Trophy for each of the last six years. performance at the Regatta, were
events was similarly admirable, with those students and teams who have squad in addition to her participation Emma Mason, with five international similarly revered with the Proctor

Three cheers for Glasgow

gold in the 400m, silver in 200m and turned out for their sport at the in the Scottish Universities Team at and four Scottish badminton titles to and Gamble Millennium Trophy.

Gridiron team
Rebecca Day dusts off her pom poms to train with the GU cheerleaders thrash Teeside
It is hard to ignore the stereotype entrenched Courtesy of GUC
in the mind when someone mentions the word (Continued from back page)
‘cheerleader’. It has almost become a by-word A succession of intelligent passes drove
for blond, tanned and sparkly-toothed American the Tigers forward whilst his vision to unleash
Girls pushing past the high school geeks with David McCann for the third touchdown was
one flick of the pompom. So I was curious to simply astounding, as a deft pass wrong footed
see what Glasgow University Cheerleading much of a static Teeside defensive line.
Squad had to offer. Before I went to see the Ruari McKeon and Nick Halfpenny touch
girls in action, I was told the team were fresh downs either side of a Cougars consolation saw
from the success of coming first in the senior the Tigers romp away towards the end with
open dance category in the British univer- a victory margin that perhaps flattered their
sity cheerleading competition Futurecheer, and exhausted visitors. McKeon scrambled home
were already in training for the upcoming from ten yards, whilst Halfpenny capped a fine
nationals in March. individual performance with a superb darting
The training session commenced with an run in from 20 yards.
intense 15-minute warm-up, in which the squad Afterwards coach Ian Cochrane was
marched, stretched and jumped in unison aided enthused about his side’s performance in
by the sounds of 80s electro-pop. The team were the match, and optimistic about the team’s
then given a briefing of their performance in the Collegebowl aspirations:
competition by Captain Justice Reilly, a fourth “We are really starting to play our best
year medical student who trains and leads the football now which is great because we are
squad. She read from the judge’s reports and areas of improvement — errors invisible to the leading group consists of girls with different now reaching play off time. It’s a young squad
they were unanimously glowing, with one untrained eye of a casual observer. levels of ability and experience. we’ve got out there but they are really starting
praising the “great energy” of the team. The girls then arranged themselves into “Most people have danced before, but we to gel as a unit.
Justice was ecstatic with the result, stating: groups of five, and it was in total amazement also have people in the squad who have never “I don’t think any team will really fancy a
“I’m very proud as the whole team partici- that I watched as one team lifted the centre had dancing lessons and just fancied trying trip up here because our record on home soil is
pated in the dance. Usually it is only an elite girl, the ‘flyer’, above their shoulders, totally something new.” staggering. If we can find a bit more form on
group of about ten people that take part, so it unfazed, before she twirled in the air and fell After seeing the Cheerleading squad in the road this team will definately go places.”
was great that everybody got involved, and of into the arms of her teammates. In a sport where action, I realised that modern day media has The positive sentiments were reiterated by
course that we went on to win.” glory can be the matter of millimeters, the completely warped my view on ‘cheering’ line backer Ross Wilson:
After the briefing, the training session levels of trust amongst the girls is staggering. and it is this somewhat negative stereotype “Everything is really starting to come
continued in full swing. The atmosphere in On one occasion one ‘flyer’ unceremoniously that Justice and her team are out to change. together nicely for the side-all the pieces are
the exercise suite was charged with positivity, topples to the floor yet is almost instantly back The students dedicate hours of practice to starting to fall into place.We are in the play-
the girls were laughing and joking yet simul- in the air getting tossed about. perfect complex routines in order to compete offs now,and everyone knows anything can
taneously focused on the task at hand. The After witnessing the extraordinary skills in national sporting competitions. Evidently happen!”
girls stood in rows of five and carried out and techniques of the team members, I spoke the results have paid off, with Glasgow’s Tigers now go on to face the Sunderland
a slick routine in perfect synchrony. Justice to Justice about the previous experience of the Cheerleading Squad now ranking amongst the Spartans as they continue their push for
observed each routine, highlighting minute squad as a whole She explained that the cheer- highest University teams in Britain. Northern Conference glory.
Hockey team back on form
3rd March 2009 sport@glasgowguardian.co.uk SPORT 15

Sport Staff Northern Irishman was able to round the goal-

keeper his effort was desperately cleared off the
In a season that has been marred all too often line by a scrambling Ayr defence.
by frustration and set backs Glasgow University The visitors reprieve however was to be
hockey managed to haul their campaign back short lived. Another well worked short corner
on track with an emphatic victory over a belea- saw Horn thread the ball through to McCann,
guered Ayr side at the Garscube. and the striker was on hand to delicately poke it
Glasgow started off the brighter of the two, under the quickly advancing goalkeeper.
yet struggled early on to find the break through McCann began to cause havoc at the heart
that their territorial dominance deserved. They of the Ayr defence, and was unlucky on several
spent large spells of the first period camped occasions not to double his tally. At times the
in the Ayr half, yet consistently saw intricate ball seemed glued to his stick, and time after
build-up play thwarted by a failure to make time he was able to effortlessly tear through the
the final killer pass. It has been very much the mesmerised opposition back line.
story of Glasgow’s season; attractive attacking Glasgow’s third and decisive goal came
hockey coupled with a failure to finish. again from a set piece, and again it was the
Glasgow’s intensity however soon paid off. captain’s ingenuity around the edge of the box
They were awarded a short corner and after which saw him again able to fire home. A series
some intelligent interplay between Euan Miller of clever passes around the box confounded a
and Finlay Horn, the captain was on hand to sprawling Ayr defence, and a slip pass from
lash in past the helpless keeper. McCann saw Horn free in the ‘D’ able to smash
Ayr offered little in the way of attacking home from five yards.
strength, and were guilty of far too regularly Glasgow continued to press and probe at a
turning to the optimistic long ball as they dispirited Ayr side, and perhaps the only concern
attempted to penetrate the resolute University will be that they were not able boost their goal
defence. The Glasgow back four were largely difference on a day when there was a notable
spectators throughout the match, as any poten- gulf in class. Yet the University team were
tial danger was invariably mopped up by forced to settle for three, and will be desperate
the experienced centre half pairing of Craig to see that they continue this momentum into
Sinclair and Alastair Claxon. the business end of the season.
One moment of defensive sloppiness almost Speaking afterwards Horn seemed pleased
cost Glasgow dearly — An overly ambitious with the performance “I’m obviously delighted
pass saw Ayr able to burst into the box yet with the victory, it’s been a frustrating season,
the ever alert Louis Alwood was able to save and that victory has really been a very long
smartly at the feet of the attacker whilst the time in coming.”
resulting ricochet was narrowly slashed wide. He went on to speak about how the Glasgow
Glasgow had perhaps been guilty of merely University team are fast becoming regarded as
going through the motions, yet this scare soon set piece specialists:
saw a significant increase in the university “We’ve been practising a lot of short corners
intensity. Captain Finlay Horn, at the heart recently, so it’s great to see the effort put in by
of midfield, began to orchestrate proceed- the lads on the training ground pay off so well.
ings. A clever through ball saw Rory McCann We have this team again in the cup,so we feel
unleashed through the middle, and although the we have a great chance of progress”

You only swing when you’re winning

James Porteous

and it’s a frustration that the captain feels comes with having
Harry Tattersall Smith
such a young side:
I’m about as far away from Carnoustie as you can probably “There is no doubting the talent of the boys, but match play
imagine; I’m currently huddled in a dank pub toilet in Carluke is a completely different game. With a bit more experience and
on the phone to golf captain David Taggart. He is about to head ‘know-how’ playing at this level it’s only a matter of time before
out on a rather arduous 240 mile round trip to Golspie to face the we can start grinding out the tough victories in the really tight
University of Highlands and Islands in the leagues final round matches”
of BUSA fixtures. Taggart, who played at school boy level alongside Northern
I had originally contemplated staging the interview over a Irish teen sensation Rory Mcllroy, speaks optimistically about
round of golf but wisely thought better of it. Largely because the squads future:
on the one and only time I have attempted to play golf I was “The team are really in a transitional phase at the moment,
escorted off by an aggrieved groundsman after three holes of last year we lost a lot of our big players and this season the
systematically uprooting large chunks of the fairway. So I guess squad has been comprised mainly of a really promising bunch of
this probably saves embarrassment for all parties concerned. fresher’s. We’ve been really unlucky to miss out on promotion
Taggart seems cautiously optimistic, and seems eager to see from the league this year, but as the team grows in experience
his side put in a good performance after a draining season. I think it really is a matter of time before this group of lads can
“I think the side we are playing used to be made up predomi- compete at the very highest level”
nantly of people doing degrees in Golf Course Management, so The captain talks of how hard it is to compete with the universi-
I guess there will be a good chance that this team will be similar ties with a greater golfing pedigree,such as St Andrews,
and will eat, sleep and dream golf. If we can match their inten- “They obviously have some of the best facilities and are
sity I think we are in with a great chance” constantly getting an influx of some fantastic American talent
Taggart admits that the only thing about this season that has who come seeking the ‘St Andrews experience’. Stirling are up
been consistent this season is their inconsistency. Resounding there as well, again, it’s hard to compete with a team that have a
victories have all too often been coupled with narrow defeats, Jim Wilson golf course on their actual campus!”
 sport
Inside: Comfortable win for GU
men’s 1st XI hockey team
guardian
also: Rebecca Day meets the
high-flying Glasgow Cheerleaders 3rd March 2009

Tigers earn their stripes

Glasgow 34 - 6 Teeside
Harry Tattersall Smith

GLASGOW UNIVERSITY TIGERS OVERPOWERED

the Teeside Cougars as they impressively continued their
march to the playoffs. Whilst the start of the season saw the
new squad struggling to generate momentum, their impe-
rious home form at the aptly named ‘Fortress’ Garscube,
has propelled their charge into the post-season. Caused
largely by the hostile environment of the Garscube, it has
seen many fancied teams come and crumble in the face of
the raucous, partisan home crowd.
A congested first quarter saw both teams struggle to
create as defensive might quickly stifled out any potential
attacking flare. It was fine reflection of the Tigers resilience
that in the tense opening exchanges, as they found them-
selves camped in their own half, they were able to repel the
intense Cougar pressure. The Teesside outfit dictated the
match early on yet in the face of fierce GU defence quickly
seemed to run out of ideas.
Teeside often seemed to panic at the sheer physicality
of the Tigers defence. Time after time Cougars fumbled the
ball in contact, whilst their quarterback was on several occa-
sions guilty of attempting some wildly ambitious throws
in a desperate attempt to break through the unyeilding
Glasgow defence.
The Teesside quarterback, who seemed to lose any
semblance of confidence after an early stumble, was
erratic all afternoon. This allowed Glasgow to constantly
turn defence into attack, as constant sloppiness and some
outstanding GU agility saw the Tigers intercept 15 times
as their North East rivals continued to squander promising
field position.
As the defence refused to buckle, the tigers attack early
seemed jaded yet the spark was injected by the ever lively
Nick Halfpenny. A smart interception signalled a signifi-
cant momentum switch and gave Glasgow the offensive
impetus from which the imploding Cougars never looked
like recovering.
In a game that had been so dominated by defence, it
was always going to take something special to break the
stalemate. A move straight off the training ground saw Rory
McAlpine released on the wing, and the running back was
able to unleash his dazzling pace as he charged the length
of the field, leaving the desperate Cougars backline scram-
bling in his wake.
The Tigers faithful had become slightly restless, yet
McAlpine’s brilliance saw anxieties erased and they didn’t
have to wait long before there was more to shout about.
It came thanks to the towering figure of Matthew
Crammond. Cougars defending deep in their own half saw a
kick charged down, and after a melee in Teesside end zone,
it was the imposing Fresher who rose from amongst the
chaos with the ball. (Continued on page 15) Jim Wilson
 Emmy the Great | An Inspector Calls | Peter Doherty | Gran Torino

Dog tired
Michelle Williams gives
her best performance

03/03/09

inSIGHT
Glasgow University
 inSIGHT arts
+
03/03/09

Cancerous Capers
A crass examination
A spectacular set is let down by poor timing in An Inspector Calls, writes Sarah Smith
becoming a spectacular metaphor for the family’s downfall towards the end. In
fact, it is worth going to see this production for this aspect alone.
One hugely disappointing aspect of the show, is Louis Hilyer’s unsubtle
>> Jamie Ross portrayal of the Inspector. Shouting almost from the moment he appeared on

U
stage, many of his lines were rushed and given bizarre emphasis. In a lesser role
pon any diagnosis of a serious health these flaws might have been easier to overlook, but the contrast between the
problem, you’ll be given an entire rain- inspector and increasingly hysterical family is integral to the overall impact of
forest’s worth of information leaflets. I J.B. Priestley’s script. In fairness, Hilyer did seem to relax slightly as the perform-
assume that the main purpose of these
are to put a patient’s mind at ease in a worrying
“Hilyer never quite managed to completely shake
time, but in my case, this was a spectacular failure off a tendency to fall back on melodrama”
for two reasons. Firstly, being given a list of local ance neared its end, although he never quite managed to completely shake off
funeral directors and will-writers is not a precursor a tendency to fall back on melodrama.
to a relaxing night’s sleep. Secondly, upon reading The timing of the main cast at times felt rushed and, too often, lines were
the infinite list of possible treatment side effects, I delivered early and with a lack of care. A notable exception to this was Sandra
saw ‘complete or partial hair loss’ casually tossed in Duncan, whose performance of the arrogant matriarch was far and away the
amongst insignificant things such as heart failure or best of the evening. Her sense of timing and use of the dramatic pause meant
permanent lung damage. that she made the most of the few comedic lines given to her character, much
Any person who has ever given me so much as to the delight of the audience.
a fleeting glance will realise that this is the single Stephen Daldry’s production of J.B. Priestley’s classic thriller on the evils of
worst thing that could possibly happen to me. I’ve captilism and individualism was first performed twenty years ago, to an audi-
never made a secret of my vanity — I’ve often been ence still governed under the neo-liberal ideals of Thatcherism. Now, decades
mocked for my vast hairspray collection, and I used later, Priestley’s socialist message rings as true as it did when it was first deliv-
to spend countless mornings persuading my Mum ered in 1945. It is impossible to hear Mr. Birling’s lectures on how one should
to write a sick note for the previous day of school forget any nonsense about being part of a community and not think of today’s
because I was having a bad hair day and refused to banking chief executives, grasping for bonuses and pensions as their compa-

H
go in. nies collapse.
aving seen, and loved, Stephen Daldry’s production of An Inspector Sadly, it seems that An Inspector Calls will always be relevant in this way,
Calls five years ago, I had high expectations for this performance. highlighting as it does the underlying selfishness of the human race. It will
“A woman under 93 has to enter
Unfortunately, whilst the performance on a whole was up to the also, however, retain its ability to shock and intrigue its audience, right up until
the haematology unit at some standards I was hoping for, there were some aspects which left me the last line. If the director had taken a stronger hand with some of his cast
point and, when that day comes, sorely disappointed. members, it is possible that this production would have realised its potential.
I will be prepared to pounce” One of the true stars of this particular production is the set itself: an Luckily for the audience, Priestley’s drama is so well written that, even if some of
Edwardian mansion raised up on stilts in the middle of a damp and misty his characters’ nuances are lost, it remains absolutely captivating.
cobbled street. It opens up like a dolls’ house to reveal the actors inside, before An Inspector Calls was shown at Theatre Royal; now touring.
However, now it appears that such callous

No encouragement needed
actions have blown up in my face in the form of
karma-induced hair loss. Of course, some doctors
may tell you that it’s down to an awful drug slowly

R
but surely destroying almost every cell in my body,
but they’d say anything to sound like they know ebecca Stott once wrote that one in four such Lewis Carroll-esque headings as ‘Wherein the
something that a common man doesn’t. It’s almost listeners of Radio 4 have started writing author trips over his own cleverness’, is meticu-
definitely karma pixies pulling it out strand by a novel, a statistic which, anecdotally lously demarked with all manner of fonts and black
strand with maniacal glee, teaching me tiny lesson speaking, I can attest to. Given the unbe- boxes to avoid any risk of text as leaden as “Pausing
after tiny lesson. lievably large, exponential growth in the numbers in their circumambulation of the verdancy, the duo
My nurse has said that it would be unusual of published books, aspiring writers and cherished jocularly noted a bi-canine” being mistaken for the
for me to lose my hair completely, but I should be manuscripts produced every year, it seems equally authors’ own. Which it sort of is, anyway.
‘prepared for some thinning‘ which I thought was fitting that a number of ‘How to…’ books would However, as bitingly funny as Newman and
a terrifyingly vague statement. Will I end up as the spring up to answer the unyielding and eternal call Mittelmark are in identifying the tropes of clunky
first nineteen-year-old in history to adopt a comb- of market demand. literature — and doing so in so acute a fashion
over? Also, if this is true and I do have some of my As its title suggests, Sandra Newman and — there is no escaping the fact that after the first
original hair at the end, I’ll surely have two very Howard Mittelmark’s offering in this field has taken hundred times, the formula begins to wear thin.
different lengths of ridiculous hair when what I have a slightly different approach: theirs is not a ‘How What's more, prospective authors would prob-
lost begins to grow back. New hair can apparently to…’ book, but a ‘How not to…’ one. Accordingly, ably be best served steering clear all together,
be a completely different colour to the original, so it is its execution which differentiates ‘How not to given how crushing it must be to see one’s own
I could easily end up looking like an incredibly shit write a novel: 200 mistakes to avoid at all costs if shortcomings mocked so robustly, and with such
and low-budget Batman villain. you ever want to get published’ from the myriad obvious glee.
I’ve voiced these concerns with my nursing tomes vying for the attention of budding authors. In fact, confronted with so many literary crimes,
team, which often leads to hilarious jokes about It is also what provides a daring, slightly the impression one gets is that their perpetrators
my vanity. They just don’t understand why my hair perverse hook — page after page of really, really should be left well alone; not given additional
is so important, stupidly believing that I’d be more awful prose, laden with every cliché, plot device encouragement. It strikes me that a more apt
concerned with overcoming cancer than whether I and dei from machinis known to man and literary proverb with which to approach works such as
look sexy on the ward. But who knows who I could agent, deliberately employed by Newman and these is not Ms Stott’s, but that other well-known
meet? A woman under 93 has to enter the haema- Mittelmark to illustrate each piece of advice. maxim: “Everybody has a novel in them. And that’s How not to write a novel: 200 mistakes to avoid at
tology unit at some point and, when that day Mercifully, the bad writing never leaks into the exactly where it should stay.” all costs if you ever want to get published is out
comes, I will be prepared to pounce. rest of the book, and each example, entitled with (Tom Bonnick) now in paperback by Penguin, R.R.P. £9.99
 SIGHT in

3
arts

PA G E
Comedy Learning some manners
Reginald D. Hunter Willy Russell’s classic drama is starting to show its age, writes Tom Bonnick
Brilliant, philosophising comedian

S
who begun his career on a bet and taging productions of plays that have al-
has won criticism and praise in equal ready been made into widely acclaimed,
measure since. arguably better, films always seems like a
daring gambit, and perhaps for this rea-
Stand Comedy Club son alone, the Citizens’ new production of Educat-
Thurs. 12th March/Tues. 24th March ing Rita deserves some credit, even if Emma Cun-
£7 - 12 niffe and Charles Lawson do not quite fill the shoes
so memorably worn by Julie Walthers and Michael
Lucy Porter Caine in the 1983 cinematic version, adapted by
A kind of British Sarah Silverman, playwright Willy Russell himself. The problem with
Porter hides a wicked mind behind a any new version is that it will already have had
"butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" pointed out to it — and not just in the usual way,
exterior, with usually rewarding by critics, but by the author of the text, no less —
areas in which it can be improved: add a couple
results.
more locations, some secondary characters, and
cast Walthers and Caine.
Oran Mor Even if they do not exactly have the staying
Sun. 22nd March power of their predecessors, Lawson and Cunniffe
£10 - 12 both give solid performances as Frank and Rita, the
professor and Open University student who, over a
Andrew Maxwell series of tutorial sessions, consistently provide for
Edinburgh Fringe favourite and one another the kind of revelatory insights into life
that one only ever comes across in the theatre.
regular TV performer Andrew Maxwell
Lawson’s is a great role to play with: the jaded,
returns to Glasgow to deliver a surreal
curmudgeonly alcoholic who has only taken on the power dynamic — is admirably handled, and — and the constant, abrupt changes of scene —
brand of stream of consciousness. work to pay his bar tab, and he emphasises his char- Cunniffe succeeds in seducing Frank into under- each one heralded in by Rita bursting into Frank’s
acter’s intellectual arrogance, delivering lines like estimating her. Even though Rita’s lack of experi- office and closed with pithy summary — as a means
Old Fruitmarket “she admires me enormously” with obvious relish ence occasionally comes across as a slightly uncon- of developing the story gives the play the feel of
Sat. 14th March (although perhaps missing the point in doing so). vincing faux-naïve schtick, her insecurities in the being made up of a series of montage-ish, episodic
£11- 13 Just the wrong side of lovable rogue, he pitches company of Frank have real emotional depth, never vignettes, rather than a single coalescing story.
Frank about right, and I couldn’t help but enjoy a more so than in his unpleasantly patronising desire Even though the message of female empower-
little schadenfreude as his position is gradually to parade her to his friends. ment has a very 80s feel to its delivery, and Russell
Aye Write! usurped by Rita’s newfound social circle.
Cunniffe’s performance is a more complex —
Still, although the relationship between the
two evolves in a delicate and engrossing manner,
using Rita as mouthpiece for a rather confusing set
of ideologies, from bourgeois cultural values to

Ben Goldacre although maybe less enjoyable — one, and she

creates an air of perpetual chaos with ease. Her
the story on which it is structured feels flawed. The
redemption both characters are forced into offering
anti-consumerist ones, feels contrived, Educating
Rita is still a wholly likeable story, and under Jeremy
Author of The Guardian's Bad Science
initial meeting with Frank — the most important one another feels slightly clichéd — rendered trite Raison’s able direction, this production acquits itself
column, Goldacre is the master of
scene in the play in terms of establishing their by decades of overuse as a unifying device, perhaps endearingly well.
debunking myth, pseudo-science
and other hokum.
A bunch of scaredy-cats the fatwa is still being felt today, and ironically, has achieved a level of self-
censorship within the arts which could not be any greater had the attempts on
Mitchell Library Rushdie’s life even been successful.
Sat. 7th March The practice of publishers, film distributors, theatres and production
£6 - 7 companies applying the red pen to their own works for fear of possible
reprisal — whether from religious communities or elsewhere — has been on
Bill Paterson the gradual increase for several years now, periodically coming to a head with
Perhaps best known as "Bruno's dad violent — or at the very least, emphatic — outbursts, recently, with the case of
in the film of The Witches", Glasgow- the Danish cartoons.
The issue of self-censorship and its inherent dangers is clouded by the
born actor and writer Paterson
fact that whereas some incidences — including the Danish one — surround a
recounts his youth in his memoirs. >> Tom Bonnick patently untenable position, that of defying one of Islam’s most sacred tenets
As well as providing an unmissable opportunity to buy as much hearts with antagonising pseudo-satire, others (the Russell Brand/ Jonathan Ross/
Mitchell Library ’n’ teddy bear-encrusted merchandise that Hallmarks can fob on its unwit- Andrew Sachs affair springs to mind) are invoked for reasons no more valid
Fri. 13th March ting public, this past Valentine’s Day also marked the 20th anniversary of the than the tabloid press flexing its indignant muscles and seeing how far its
£6 - 7 public issuance by Ayatollah Khomeini of a fatwa upon Salman Rushdie for his Middle England readership will take the bait.
novel The Satanic Verses; deemed by Khomeini to be blasphemous against the The consequences of these rabble-rousing campaigns is that institutions
James Fray prophet Muhammed. The fatwa — essentially a death sentence for Rushdie — such as the BBC perpetuate a climate of timidity and spinelessness, stifling
...Or, The Man Who Angered Oprah condemned the author to years living underground, as well as resulting in the artistic talent and pre-emptively squashing any endeavour with a hint of risk to
With His Lies. Author of A Million assassination of the novel’s Japanese translator and the attempted murders of it — and it is this aspect; the fear of criticism which is only anticipated, not even
Little Pieces, Fray has since redeemed several of its international publishers and translators. material, which is so threatening.
himself with Bright Shining Morning. Although the fatwa was rescinded (sort of ) in 1998 — with the Iranian Another recent anniversary — fifteen years passing since Bill Hicks’ death
government promising to neither “support nor hinder assassination opera- — had me thinking. If Hicks were around today, would he get away with his
tions” — and Rushdie has since come out of hiding, a recent resurgence in hard brand of urgent, intelligent, and very rude comedy? If the answer is no, as I
Mitchell Library
line rhetoric amongst the country’s spiritual leadership has led to reaffirmation suspect it might be, then there can be no greater argument for the extent to
Mon. 9th March of intent. which ruthlessly sanitising the arts is damaging our collective intelligence; our
£6 - 7 This intent hasn’t amounted to much in recent times, but the impact of national consciousness; and our ability to express free speech.
 inSIGHT arts
03/03/09

Heretics and Philistines

Dominic Maxwell-Lewis is disappointed by the Tron's overambition in Defender of the Faith
the play lacked cohesion. The formula seemed unbeatable, a classic
thriller with a series of stock characters that keep the audience within
their comfort zone and a plot with a secret to reveal. An un-daring
but strong exercise in realism where relationships are explored and
preconceptions are deceived.
However, the simplicity was overlooked and the production set
out to try and achieve too many things at once. The grip of para-
noia that one hopes would build gradually with a pace growing at
a menacing rate instead arrives abruptly three quarters of the way
through with a fiercely hammy dialogue between father and son. This
scene displays a self-conscious pace (noticeable throughout the play)
that prevents the brooding atmosphere that the play boasts in its
programme from happening.

“The grip of paranoia that one hopes would

build gradually with a pace growing at a
menacing rate instead arrives abruptly three
quarters of the way through”
This is truly a shame given that in Defender of The Faith’s better
moments, which move away from a reliance on stage Irish there is a
real lyricism that flows when the Actors relaxed into their characters.
The use of coarse country language and primal symbolism gave a nod
to the macabre, blackly comic plays of Martin McDonagh, who used
Richard Campbell

S
the Irish vernacular successfully to portray the fine balance between
et in a farmhouse on the Irish border against a backdrop of moments, especially between the two brothers in the opening scenes. tension and aggression.
uncompromising republicanism, Defender of The Faith tells Here, comedy and domestic brutality seem to be interwoven, each This is where Defender of The Faith’s biggest shortcoming lay;
the story of a family torn apart by an allegiance to the IRA. event acting as a springboard for the arrival of the next. However, its the occasional feeling of tension was created by an outward act of
The play follows the story of a subsequent search for a po- success is short lived. With the growing presence of the father, who aggression and not a subtlety of dialogue or physicality. This gave the
lice informer within the family that stretches relationships and height- usurps his power to great effect initially, there came a point where it whole production a feeling of heavy-handedness, which restrained
ens tensions. seemed two plays ran in parallel, a strange parody of Irish stereotypes the compassion that could have otherwise come through should the
From the outset, Andy Arnold’s production had some good and a crass polemic on the Northern Irish ‘Troubles’. This is to say that range of expression been more controlled and varied.

Giving weight to proceedings

Markee Rambo-Hood on a bold but flawed performance of Paperweight at the Citizens Theatre

P
aperweight details the struggle of two and does not offer any further commentary on
office workers and the monotony of their aspects of white collar life.
office life. The play follows a working Where the show ought to be commended is in
day in the life of Harry and Anthony (de- its willingness to embrace naturalism to its fullest
vised and played by Tom Frankland and Sebastien extent, as experienced during a scene when both
Lawson), whose time is filled with mindless tasks actors remain completely still during the time it
include blowing up balloons, stuffing paperwork took for them to boil water in a kettle.
in envelopes and taking messages from the an-
swering machine. The result is a performance that
“It mirrors office life to such an
mirrors office life to such an extent, that if not for extent that if not for the short
the short length of this play, it would be easy to be length of this play, it would be
bored with the piece.
Unfortunately, the build and the culmination
easy to be bored”
are the only genuinely entertaining qualities of the The further use of naturalistic lighting (two
performance, as both Harry and Anthony divulge florescent lights and a couple of lamps) and sound
further and further into their insanity. (almost all noise is derived from the device intended
The climax comes as Anthony snaps from to make it; so, for example, music from computer
the pressure of turning thirty, combined with the speakers are actually projected from computer
unhappiness of his life, he strips nude and destroys speakers, instead of the sound system) is a bold and
his computer. This moment is such a release from unusual move.
the excessive monotony of the rest of the show that That so little theatre is prepared to take these
you do experience Anthony’s liberation along with risks, opting instead for a more fabricated show that
the character on stage. operates as a spectacle, makes Paperweight come
Sadly, however, the play operates as a consider- as a pleasant relief.
ably less funny version of the TV series The Office, (Markee Rambo-Hood)
 inSIGHT

5
life

PA G E
Espresso yourself Not that you need it

Claire Strickett ups her caffeine intake and reviews coffee houses in the West End
attracts, I paid £2.10 for a small cappuccino. The cocoa-
dusted foam was acceptable, but underneath lurked
bitter, murky coffee, more like a watered down espresso
than one blended with creamy frothed milk. Drinkable,
>> Ben Freeman
but only if you’re desperate — which I wasn’t.
I then moved to Little Italy, a traditional, bustling Walking through Frasers recently,
Glaswegian-Italian café on Byres Road. Here they I was stopped in my tracks by a Chanel
charged only £1.60 and presented my coffee in a proper advert, for all the wrong reasons. I was
cappuccino cup. That was the only clue as to what lay not stunned by Nicole Kidman’s glowing
inside. Under the foam was something that tasted skin or luscious locks; I was shocked by
like hot milk with the tiniest drip of coffee, this Italian how unnatural she looked. There’s no
proving diminutive in flavour as well as in name. way on God’s green earth that she looks
Just over the road is Tinderbox, a West End institu- that young and fresh. I spied the artistry
tion that certainly looks the part. I had high hopes for of Photoshop and that got me thinking;
such an obviously popular coffee bar, but the cappuc- how much airbrushing is too much? Do
cino here was surprisingly amateurishly assembled and, we want our celebrities plastic — like
taste-wise, the worst of the lot so far. Bitter, aggressive Barbie — or somewhat more realistic
and one-dimensional, if you’re really this desperate for and loveable?

T
Jim Wilson caffeine you’d be better off grinding up a ProPlus and When HRH The Princess of Pop,
here are times in life — after a grilling in your I decided to adopt the cappuccino, the Italian mixing it with ditchwater. Britney’s new album was released,
9am tutorial; when you have 1000 words to breakfast drink that’s become the symbol of Britain’s Beginning to lose heart, I trudged up to the top even her most hardcore fan (i.e. me)
go on your essay the day before the deadline modern café culture, as my coffee barometer. According of Byres Road to Heart Buchanan’s sit-in café. The became slightly suspicious when
— when only a coffee will do. Nothing com- to the official Italian guidelines (no, really), the perfect wrong kind of cup, true, but I can forgive them that. greeted with her plastic limbed promo
pares to the kick of a drink made with a real espresso cappuccino equals 1 shot of espresso mixed with 125ml The beautifully swirled foam concealed – finally! – a shots. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate
machine and perfectly roasted beans at the hand of of warm milk, heated to no more than 650C. The ‘micro- perfect blend of comforting, creamy milk and the most how much good ol’ Britney has been
a skilled barista. Even in these financially tight times, foam’ that tops it off should have bubbles so tiny as to delicious cappuccino I’ve tasted in a long time. Rich, working out, but no amount of cross
it’s one of life’s little luxuries that won’t break the be nearly invisible, and be swirled with chestnut-brown complex, strong but not bitter, this is how coffee ought trainer can create the retouched vision
bank. All the same, if you’re treating yourself to a £2 streaks. Finally the whole thing should be served up in to be. Hardly surprising, when you learn that this place
cup of coffee, you want to know that you’re getting a wide, relatively shallow ceramic cappuccino cup. sources its beans from London’s legendary Monmouth “She looks like someone
your money’s worth. We’re spoiled for choice around With this in mind, my first testing ground was Coffee Co. At £2.20 it was the most expensive drink of
campus – but which West End café really gives you the Beanscene. Negotiating my way through the yummy all, but only just, and that’s a small price to pay for redis-
from another planet”
best buzz for your buck? mummies, prams and small children that this café covering how good coffee can really be.
I saw before me. Yet another celebrity

Swap shop
who appears to have morphed into a
completely different person via a stop
at airbrushing central is Courtney Cox. I
don’t kow what happened to the lovely
Monica Geller, maybe we should send
>> Michelle Williams the city, and offer an evening of fashion out at search party? Cover girl of Febru-

G
based, ethical recycling. Each partici- ary’s Marie Claire, Court, a woman of 45,
loom is looming, credit is pant must bring along at least one item appears without a blemish or pore. Cox
crunching, and it’s still too of quality clothing that they’re willing to doesn’t even look like someone half her
expensive to turn the heating part with, and may leave with as many age; rather, she looks like someone from
on. Given the ever more real- as they wish after a presumably fraught another planet.
istic prospect that none of us may ever countdown to commence the Swish. I do understand the necessity
find the proper job we need to fend off If all this sounds a little too of airbrushing to a certain degree. If
the dreaded Student Loans repayment similar to an Ann Summers party for sod’s law strikes you down with a facial
man, it’s time to be realistic about our comfort, (Swishing rules conclude with break-out on the day of shooting your
spending habits. As term wears on and “Remember ladies: no scratching, spit- album cover, then yeah, use a wee bit of
the overdraft inches out a spot further, it ting or biting!”) then CovertCandy might retouching, but that’s where I draw the
can be difficult to justify food purchases be the place for you. This new website, line, or we end up with technologically-
to yourself, never mind the whimsical created by Glasgow graduates and created plastic celebs.
wardrobe additions we all indulge in financed by their student loans, offers I believe it has fallen to me (and the
from time to time. Welcome to the world an efficient and convenient forum for Jim Wilson naturally beautiful Kate Winslet) to say
of clothes swapping. clothes swapping. Having shied away your choosing. You are then free to build Whether you’re attracted by the Hollywood stop, the jig is up! We know
With each successive financial low in from the prospect of sacrificing my up your earned credits in order to swap sociable, frantic aspects of a swap event, no one looks like that so stop this insane
the economy at large, the clothes swap- own, fussily maintained clothes under them for anything that takes your fancy the guilt-free shopping experience of conspiracy! These doctored pictures
ping movement gathers pace as people the pressure of trying to locate an — all the attraction of eBay, but without a website, or simply the idea of clothes are dangerous, promoting comletely
latch on to the concept of satisfying the elusive double coincidence of wants the financial outlay. Still in its early recycling as a way to fuel ethical fashion, unattainable images. They are used as a
thrill of the new without the accompa- with a stranger at a swap event, Covert- stages, the site shows enormous poten- CovertCandy could be right when they benchmark of how we’re meant to look,
nying emptying of the purse. Clothes Candy solves the problem that blights tial, and is sure to improve as member- predict the movement as heralding a but how can we achieve that level of
swapping is cropping up in various barter economies by introducing an all ship numbers swell. Already, my flat- clothing revolution. beauty when even the subjects of the
forms nationwide, with events held at a important non-monetary medium of mate has transferred her crippling eBay photos can’t?
range of locations around Glasgow. So exchange. The user friendly site allows addiction to the site, using it as an online www.swishing.org This fake form of gorgeousness is
called ‘Swishing’ events are permeating you to list items with photos, and other shopping nicotine patch in an effort to www.checamille.com boring and must stop. In short, too much
bar and restaurant venues throughout users request them for a credit price of give her bank account a break. www.covertcandy.co.uk airbrushing equals one big fat lie.
 inSIGHT the interview
03/03/09

Emmy: the greates

Emmy the Great’s frontwoman stops to talk Cantopop, Sweet Valley High an
Emma-Lee Moss has been ‘next year’s big thing’ since 2006. This year, She screws up her face and bats away the idea with her hand, Looking on her Myspace, you can follow each band member back
she’s more of a buried treasure. It seems folk was last year, with Noah “I feel that way but … one person says it and then everyone picks to their own projects, each following divergent genres. You can also
and the Whale omnipresent on the radio and Laura Marling feyly up on it. Some people feel like it’s been a long time because they’ve follow a link to a bewildering Youtube video for Cantonese pop star
slinking her way into every top ten list. If you dig beneath the identikit been aware of my music since the beginning”. Indeed, through steady Aaron Kwok, dancing in various states of undress and peppering his
electro peddlers set to soundtrack this summer, however, you may touring and intermittently released EPs, interest in Moss’s music has song with awkward bilingualism. Moss’s face lights up at the mention
find something in this unassuming young woman’s music that was remained consistent, if slow burning. The degree to which she has of his name, half disbelief and half glee, and she starts humming the
lacking in her forbears, an honesty and immediacy that isn’t hidden matured as a singer and songwriter between her first EP and tonight’s
behind ukelele or overwrought lyrics. gig vindicates her decision to play it slow, as easy as it would have
“I think Arab Strap is a celebration, and I
Working within her own timeframe, she released her debut been to exploit her youth for an earlier record deal. “It feels pretty think (Charles) Bukowski can do whatever
album First Love in February, almost three years since her first single natural. I think it’s because I was coming out of the same scene as he wants to women– but I was offended by
Secret Circus. Much of the press surrounding the release of the album Kate Nash and she went absolutely massive” — she is not in it to reach
this novel, I thought ‘Jesus Christ, he really
seemed to insist, rather unfairly, on emphasising the length of time Nash levels of success, though, softly adding “Some people just have
it has taken as if something must have went wrong, as some sort of a different part”. hates this woman!’”
mistake. With youth and artlessness fetishized in the music industry Moss is not playing her part alone, and encourages recognising refrain for my benefit. “It’s like my favourite song in the world. It’s funny
at the moment, there have been quite a few victims of the prema- the moniker she plays under as a referent for the whole band, and not because it’s cheesy as fuck and it’s got no irony, and Cantopop stars
turely expanding career. Moss has evaded this danger, quietly honing just a stage name for herself: “Everyone has their own projects, but don’t seem to know people are laughing.” There is an air of pretension
her sound for a number of years, and it has been well worth the wait. this is a project we all contribute to”. When asked how the differing that follows around many of the musicians that have emerged lately
Meeting her before her Valentine’s day gig in a tiny and very angular styles each member plays when apart from the band adds to the from the same London scene that Moss is a part of, but she frankly
King Tut’s dressing room, I ask if she found the impatience of the music aesthetic of Emmy the Great, she emphasises with no small degree of admits interests credible or otherwise. “The thing is, I can laugh at
press as ridiculous as I did. pride “It is Emmy the Great”. Aaron Kwok here in this dressing room, but he is one of the biggest

James Porteous
 inSIGHT

7
PA G E
st show on earth?
nd Samuel Beckett with Oisín Kealy
stars in the world and is probably really really happy”, she muses with
a decided chuckle.
As a writer for Stool Pigeon she has become used to being on
my end of the Dictaphone. This is good for me, as she obviously has
sympathy for those who interview taciturn performers suffering from
tour and press fatigue, being unaffectedly engaging and talkative
throughout our meeting. She had spent the week previous editing
the UK based music website Drowned in Sound, and her interest in
writing reveals itself through her assiduous crafting of lyrics. Though
more well known for her musical ventures, writing was Moss’s primary
interest for much of her youth.
“I used to distribute newspapers around my family home, I edited
the school newspaper and I wrote a play at school". The two go hand
in hand though, “It’s never been one passion. It’s been more like I love
writing songs, but tomorrow I might want to write only diaries”. When
asked if this is a career path she would consider for the future, she
once again displays unashamed honesty in admitting her current
literary concerns. “I kind of want to write generic teen novels. I’m
reading Sweet Valley High at the moment and I’m feeling so inspired”,
also confessing to reading “a fuck of a lot” of Buffy tie-in novels. While
the future may be littered with the low brow, one current scholarly
preoccupation is esteemed at least as much as anything from the
Sweet Valley High canon.
“Samuel Beckett wasn’t really a literary influence, it was just that
one story that gripped me”. The title track of her album retells one
of Beckett’s lesser-known short stories, also called First Love. In it,
a homeless man befriends a woman in a park, she falls in love with
him and becomes pregnant, only for him to abandon her as she gives
birth. “I think I’m quite and open minded person; I think Arab Strap
is a celebration and I think (Charles) Bukowski can do whatever he
wants to women and it’s fine — but I was offended by this novel. I
thought ‘Jesus fucking Christ, he really hates this woman!’ “. True
enough, a cursory reading of the novel vindicates these accusations
of misogyny, at one point the narrator thinking of his lover, considers
“Kicking her in the cunt”. Despite the arresting quality of the book,
Moss claims it was not entirely intentional at first to use the narrative
as a basis for the song.
“I thought about that book so much, and when I started writing
that song I realised what I was writing was basically the story”, only
seeing how her failed relationship paralleled with the novella when
her ideas overlapped. She is wooed in the song by a cassette playing
‘Hallelujah’–”The original Leonard Cohen version”. The luck of timing
would have it that this album was delayed from September, when the
obvious oppositional version would be Jeff Buckley’s, until February,
after two months of forced acclimatisation to Alexandra Burke’s sacri-
legiously vapid performance of the song. “I read on the internet that Crazy Bobbles
it’s a cosmic joke”, she laughs; but Burke, like Kwok, will be laughing all
the way to he bank after inking a 3.5 million pound contract. Moss is “I might go back to writing general actually because I feel sometimes is all about my fucking vagina”, she finishes, unable to keep a straight
flippant, “Yeah well, she’ll probably sell 3.5 albums”. Alas, If only that as if I can’t look my boyfriend in the eye it’s so bad”, understandable, face as she exposes the sentiment.
were the case. with lyrics which by turns make him sound patronising, pretentious, In the spirit of the evening, and in light of the genital preoccu-
With three religious refrains on the album (the aforementioned careless, lazy and money scrounging — often in the same song. It is pation, I ask what her favourite love song is. She answers without
Hallelujah, Kyrie Eleison and Gloria in Excelsis Deo), it seems pointed also understandable that Moss would want to expose his faults upon hesitation, “The Saturday Boy by Billy Bragg. It’s about the first love
that Easter Parade gives a pretty disillusioning description of religious you when you’re in school, I swear there is no more passionate love
tradition. “I think Easter Parade is more about Idealism. It’s about these
“I was reading a lot of Anne Sexton and than the person you are in love with at school who doesn’t know you
girls growing up in a religious community, and they suddenly realise Anais Nin, and I was thinking this is my exist, it’s so sad!”. Asking if I’ve heard it, she gets out her laptop with
the things they are told are not always true. It’s not specifically about contribution to that genre, this is all about enthusiasm and opens iTunes, leaving me to listen to it as she does
Christianity, it’s more about how not everything works out the way it her sound check. It’s a touch more poignant than romantic, Bragg
should”. It seems the album is full of songs along this vein, the spectre
my fucking vagina” having to look up the word “unrequited” in the dictionary, but it seems
of a failed relationship influencing the overall tone. break-up, but the unprecedented reconciliation has been affected by a distinctly apt choice for Moss in Light of her album. He conveys the
She has, however, got back together with the very man that is so her candour. “It’s definitely meant that he’s not as supportive about masochistic, self-pitying and disappointing nature of first love, the
pilloried in songs like ‘24’, ‘Dylan’ and first single ‘We Almost Had a Baby’. my gigs as he used to be” she reveals with a nervous laugh. “At the very nature Moss expresses with her new release. It gives the evening
This move to confessional songs is a bit of a departure from her earlier time it made perfect sense, I was reading a lot of Anne Sexton and a very anti-Valentine’s feeling, but the lonely hearts beaming at her
work, which followed fictional narratives rather than real life events. Anais Nin, and I was thinking this is my contribution to that genre, this throughout the gig don’t think of complaining.
 inSIGHT music
03/03/09

Petering interest Gigs

Peter Doherty - The Arches It’s clear that Doherty still retains his talent as a
The Broken Family Band
06/03/09
24/02/2009 lyricist, but while the new tracks obtain a fair recep- ABC2
tion, it is the Libertines’ tracks and occasional Baby- Critically acclaimed yet shamefully overlooked,
>> Laura Cernis shambles ones that receive the greatest response — they have both the privelege of being one of the
‘Fuck Forever’ being one of the few moments when later bands championed by John Peel and the
Languorous types Ex-Lovers kick off tonight’s the crowd appear truly content. The new tracks are relative ignominy of having a song featured on
proceedings. Sadly, their half-dreamy, half-bored padded out with the ever-available Graham Coxon Skins. Their guitar-led indie rock is brought to
take on inter-band relationships (as The NME on guitar, and the odd cellist and violinist thrown in Glasgow as part of the JD set.
would have it) loses its wintery, ethereal quality in for good measure — this does add to the musical
a space so huge and is simply lost on the disinter- bonanza of the night, but I can’t shake the feeling Howling Bells
ested crowd. It’s somewhat of a shame; in a smaller 11/03/09
venue the sleepy calling of their boy/girl harmo-
“Doherty Interweaves new tales Classic Grand
nies and disillusioned lyrics would probably draw of murder, death and love with The Aussie chamber pop peddlers return
in new fans. It’s rather an easy feat for a new band’s old familiar strains of the demise prepared this year with a more electro infused
sound to get lost in the Barrows anytime — espe- sound. Centred around Stein siblings Juanita and
of Albion”
cially tonight; the trilby-wearing, cat-calling crowd Joel, the new album looks set to put the disco
are shamefully aware of only one singer. that most people are here for either Libertines/ back into discord.
Always surrounded by controversy, Doher- Babyshambles reminiscences or the ‘Who’s got the
ty’s forthcoming solo record (Grace/Wasteland) crack?’ t-shirts on sale in the other room. Instal
has been shadowed by the usual tales of kebab Few people seem genuinely excited about the 20-22/03/09
debauchery — to some extent explaining the air prospect of hearing new material tonight, and the The Arches, CCA, Glasgow University Chapel
of excited anticipation on this, his second date of tracks don’t stand out in the vast room without A multi-venue weekend of experimental music,
his solo UK tour. an exultant crowd propping them up with all the this should give you something to scratch your
Waltzing onto the stage to a mass of applause, enthusiasm of the tone-deaf. All in all, it’s an odd chin about. Performances range from electro-
Doherty launches straight into an acoustic version evening. The Libertines’ songs Doherty plays retain acoustic tomfoolery through sparse organ works
of old Libertines’ favourite, ‘Music When The Lights the promise they did years ago, but his new mate- and on to near silence, don’t expect to hear a
Go Out’. Appeasing the waiting fans immediately, rial appears to merely hold resonances of his talent. catchy chorus– or indeed, any chorus.
this sets the standard for the night. Perhaps it is the fault of the cavernous venue, but I
His new solo material being the priority of this can’t help feeling his new material would illustrate The Noisettes
tour, Doherty interweaves new tales of murder, its worth much better in a more intimate setting. 18/03/09
death and love with the old familiar strains of the Tonight, unfortunately, it seems Doherty’s notoriety ABC2
demise of Albion and English Arcadia. has given him a stage too big to convincingly fill. Luke Winter Touring just ahead of the release of forthcoming
album Wild Young Hearts, the trio will no doubt
M. Ward Lily Allen be giving an energetic performance to preview
Hold Time It’s Not Me, It’s You the new material. Riotous soul-injected rock
enhanced by the acrobatic vocals of lead singer
4AD - 16/02/09 Regal Recordings - 09/02/09 Shingai Shoniwa.
Matt Ward has been quietly earning Whatever one’s feelings are vis a vis Lily
almost universal respect in indie circles over Allen, it seems unreasonable that in order Stiff Little Fingers
the last ten years, and returns with a record to be considered a success — and thereby 17/03/09
marking a progression in his sound. He now acquitting its progeny of several years worth Barrowlands
marries his rootsy blues to the pop sensibili- of drunken misdeeds — any new release must Forming during the troubles in Belfast, Stiff Little
ties of the sixties that had been explored with not merely be considered musically proficient, Fingers are apparently still at it. Classic punk with
Zooey Deschanel in last years impressive She or heaven forbid, ‘kind of fun to listen to’, but an ear for melody, hopefully this won’t dissolve
& Him project, but produces mixed results. nothing less than a cultural barometer for its into a nostalgia act; they’re too good for that.
Like with previous releases featuring Jenny time. It’s Not Me, It’s You is not exactly the
Lewis and Neko Case, Ward once again invites
a selection of ladies to add to the texture of his album. Lucinda Wiliiams’s voice
is a bit like marmite: Aside from inferring that you will either love it or hate it, it
zeitgeist-ish affair that its predecessor, Alright,
Still was, but it certainly proves that Ms Allen hasn’t entirely replaced the crea-
tive juices with alcoholic ones.
Clubs
is also viscous, gurgling and requires sober judgment when considering what More than anything else, this album betrays that frequently insisted wish Nevereverland
to serve it with– the latter obviously missing with her guest appearance on ‘Oh of Allen’s to be Grown Up And Mature. This isn’t to say that it actually is either 13/03/09
Lonesome Me’, as their similar gravely vocals give the peculiar impression that of these things, but the effort ought to be commended. Rather than resting on The Arches
they are doing impressions of each other. her slightly tarnished laurels and reissuing a sound that might seem trite and The Modular records event comes to Scotland
Deschanel’s presence on ‘Never Had Nobody Like You’ and Buddy Holly’s formulaic the second time around, Allen has produced a record that has lost with sets from Africa Bambaataa, Alexis Taylor
‘Rave on’, however, turn them into true highlights of the album. The sweetness none of the witty lyricism and endearing rudeness of her debut. (Hot Chip) and Tame Impala among others.
and distance of Deschanel’s harmony providing a solid ground for his distorted The disappearance of Alright, Still’s funky calypso rhythms and upbeat Modular DJs will be in place to keep the party
guitar on the first, while the Holly cover utilises the often tiring Spectoresque tempo — substituted for occasional use of the ‘ubiquitous in British pop’ electro going well into the night.
wall-of-sound production technique of the album to winningly combine two beats and a more thoughtful, if subdued, pace — is a slight shame, and there
distinct eras of musical history. is no immediately stand-out melody with the catchiness of LDN or Smile (a Death Disco
Some of Ward’s own compositions, however, aren’t quite as successful: problem that constant radio exposure will no doubt soon put paid to), but nor 21/03/09
The title track sounds a little like the piped world music you might hear in a is there any one particularly weak track. Fuck You — written about everybody’s The Arches
second-rate health spa. In other places he seems to be treading old ground, favourite ex-President — has a juvenilia about it at odds with Allen’s professed A night which needs no introduction, this
‘Fisher of Men’ and ‘To Save Me’ bearing a little too much similarity to ‘Chinese sophistication, and seems redundant given that Dubya isn’t currently enjoying month a host of guests well be making it one
Translation’ and ‘Big Boat’ from previous albums respectively a welcome reception, but nonetheless has a refrain which can’t be faulted. to remember. With Radio 1’s Annie Mac as MC,
This is essentially still a good album, but too many songs lack any distinc- Even if the enthusiastic rejection of her previous style is disappointing, It’s there is live music from emerging digitaleer
tive character. More attention to melody, and this album could have been Not Me, It’s You should still vindicate Allen’s extracurricular activities — but Frankmusik as well as a Mystery Jets DJ set along
stunning; as it stands, it’s a sad case of style over substance. (Oisín kealy) don’t worry, Many Detractors: she’s still Keith Allen’s daughter. (Tom Bonnick) with all the usual fluorescent capers.
 inSIGHT

9
music

PA G E
Enjoy the silence Out with the Touts

Shhh! An Evening of (Not

So) Silent Films - Arches
22/02/2009
>> Oisín Kealy
Before we are shown the student films which
this evening is advertised around, each band
involved are get to to express themselves through
their own choice of stock footage. First to get >> Oisín Kealy
this opportunity is Dolby Anol/Ben Butler and The Concert Promoters Association have
Mousepad, and they don’t ease us in. As they run in recently unveiled a new anti-ticket tout website in
circles around the desk that holds their machinery, an effort to protect concert goers from the dangers
we are treated to a video of sado-masochistic Asian of the trade. Using a strict system of registered
nuns beating each other with rose stems and whips ticket numbers and addresses, officialboxoffice.
— naked. Jarring electro provides a suitable sound- com is setting itself up to attract touts away from
track to the visual assault, all apocalyptic sci-fi sites like Seatwave or eBay where fans can pay for
synth and cyclical keyboard hooks. The messiness tickets that then fail to materialize: All very benevo-
of the performance enhances it, spinning wildly out lent of them, then.
of control as the footage flits from nun snuff to a Maybe not. Unlike others, they let sellers list
seventies roller disco. their tickets at no charge, and have the buyer pick
Jonathan Pritchard
A little more discipline is displayed next by up the tab through a 12.5% service charge — this
Zoey Van Goey, who aid a Chaplin-like interval which by turns warn against the dangers of heavy is their music. It is all about slow building, multi- comes to an extra £175 if you purchase a pair of
performer a farcical production, synchronising petting and educate as to the proper way to survive layered anthems, new song ‘Dragonhide’ typifying Madonna tickets that are currently listed there. As
their instrumental attacks with his movements. nuclear attack– duck and cover. The latter film is this as droning guitars progress to recieve support much as this could be seen as a taste tax (a third
They teasingly leave the stage after this short skit, soundtracked, rather drolly, by ‘City is Exploding’. from violin, keyboard and vocal harmonies. row view of her ageing yet thrusting crotch would
and in their place are left sweaty metalmongers The initial effect is of absurdity, watching families It isn’t the lightest way to end the evening, but be price enough, personally), it certainly seems to
Holy Mountain, stirring up a very unholy racket to throw themselves under picnic blankets while the a quintet of student made videos set to the songs fly in the face of the pro-fan/anti-tout sentiment
a redundantly obvious video of Apocalypse, Now reds advance, but as Kim Moore’s sweet vocals reach of the bands soon dispense with the intensity .They they are peddling to advertise the venture. In fair-
(yeah I get it, war is hard, so is RAWK!). Their music the plaintive chorus, it becomes utterly compelling. are a mixed bag, running the gamut from raving ness, the stricter measures do guarantee fans that
goes nowhere slowly, but makes up for its narrow- Despite the generally strong performances tonight, mice to Hiltonesque sex tape, and other than the their tickets are genuine, but coming after years of
ness with sheer volume. As they finish, I can hear a Van Goey are the only ones the strike a convincing retro-arcade accompaniment for Ben Butler and
choir of ear nerves dying in harmony; they weren’t balance between song and film, playing with rather Mousepad never really succeed in expressing the “Touts are the haemorrhoids
worth the slaughter. than competing against their assisting medium. sentiment of their soundtrack. A disappointment on the rear-end of the music
Zoey Van Goey return to do a bit of aural A measured performance from My Latest considering the aim of the evening, but rescued as
damage control, setting their subtly absorbing Novel ends the live music portion of the evening, it is by the live performances, no one complains
business”
melodies to a series of public information films not quite as dynamic as the other acts, but neither that these have been tacked on as a coda. lobbying against the second-hand market, it throws
their motives in a different light.

Lights off - rock on

I don’t think it is overly cynical to look at this as
an attempt to muscle in on the lucrative enterprise.
Concert promoters share their profits from the
tickets with the acts, touts don’t. If the tickets sell
for only fifty percent more than face value, they are
be at our service. Leading drums, always central often still making more money than the promoters
Das Pop - King Tut’s though never overwhelming, were accompanied have on the same ticket. Using the front of benevo-
17/02/2009 by arresting bass hooks in the likes of Underground, lent giants they can benefit and attempt to deflect
their summer release, while guitar and its siblings any judgment, like watching Hollyoaks ironically.
>> Ellie Gallagher sat comfortably throughout. It’s going to take legislation to make any real
“Children of Glasgow. We are Das Pop. We are Everything was going swimmingly until — difference, and that is not going to be passed
going to be your friends tonight.” Lights focus on disaster struck. A complete power cut snatched anytime soon going by recent reports, the govern-
sparkling drums, then bass, guitar and finally vocals; any sound from both guitars and piano and threw ment preferring a free market place. A surprising
a slick opening to a buzzing, animated and surpris- silence in their place. Did chaos ensue — drum- amount of people share this view, praising the
ingly friendly set by not any mere pop group, rather sticks thrown to the floor in rage, incoherent abuse activity for its capitalist opportunism and seeing
the pop group creeping across Europe. hurled from one Belgian to another? More like, did it as beautiful market forces at work. These people
The choreographed introduction bled into the crowd even notice? The lull mid track led seam- are rarely music fans. These people have never set
single Fool For Love, the Belgian foursome’s childish lessly into an impromptu drum solo thickened their alarm for half eight on a Sunday morning in
energy seeping into every corner of King Tut’s. No within seconds by tambourines and cowbells, just an attempt to procure tickets on release, only to
one man carried the show. Piano faced drums, each a few puzzled glances and scurrying roadies giving see them sold out before they can type whatever
player abided by the rules while visibly enjoying any hint of a change of plan. Like the chocolates non-word (“weftage”?) is demanded as verification.
on-stage banter: challenging, joking and prompting their homeland is famous for, sheer smoothness. Writers in favour of touting are also, unsurprisingly,
each other. An atmosphere of juvenile fun and Das Pop’s creativity didn’t stop there either. generally solvent enough to afford the inflation.
partying developed within the span of just a couple A carefully designed light show accompanied the I might be a bit harsh, holding the opinion
of tracks, and the feeling was shared between the set transforming the four into characters worthy of myself that ticket touts are the haemorrhoids on the
band and the undeservedly thin crowd alike. a Frank Miller graphic novel. The delicate combi- rear-end of the music business, erupting in dubious
Front man Bent Van Looy’s clear, bold words, nation of a total blackout at the musical climax Stefan Sealey niches to irritate and distress. Unlike haemorrhoids,
delivered with just the right combination of arro- of their latest release, Try Again, followed by stra- Das Pop gave a solid performance from begin- however, It will take more than a warm bath to get
gance and affection to the tiny crowd, broke down tegic strobe lighting drew them as black and white ning to end, almost try-hard. The kind of wide-eyed, rid of them. Music is not a commodity, it is some-
the barrier with karate kid-ease; his verbal high- shapes, all lines and edges. Speech bubbles would open-hearted pop one seems to like to dislike, even thing ineffable, and the most deserving investment
kicks suggesting they were genuinely pleased to compliment Bent’s sonic assault nicely. hate, but simply, deep down, can’t help falling for. will always be emotional, not financial.
 inSIGHT film
03/03/09

The last American hero

Gran Torino
Dir: Clint Eastwood
On general release now

>> Claire Strickett

F
or what it has been said will be his last ever appearance in
front of the camera, Clint Eastwood has chosen a role that
cleverly plays on our familiarity with his long, impressive ca-
reer. Gran Torino casts a complex and nuanced look at the
themes with which he has so often been linked with — American
identity, violence and masculinity.
Eastwood (who also directs) plays Walt Kowalski, a newly-widowed
Korean war vet who’s apparently set on spending his retirement from
the Ford plant sitting alone on his front porch, growling to himself
about the state of his suburban Detroit neighbourhood (run down,
nothing but immigrants) and the state of his country (disrespectful
youth, self-centred and materialistic adults).
Walt has a line in racist insults that must outrun the vocabulary of
even the most studious member of the BNP, and it’s hard to imagine
anyone other than Eastwood pulling off this kind of character. We
warm to the racist old curmudgeon, of course, because we just know
that underneath the tough, gun-toting exterior he’s just a big softie.
When Walt meets his neighbours, a family of Hmong (a South-
East Asian minority) immigrants — or Gooks, as Mr. Sensitivity prefers
— a chain of events is begun that allows that heart of gold to shine
through. Upon catching the shy, insecure boy from next door in his
garage one night, attempting to steal his 1972 Gran Torino as part of a
forced initiation into one of the local gangs, this most inauspicious of
beginnings leads to an unlikely friendship between the old man, the
boy, Thao, and his independent and feisty sister, Sue, in which Walt’s
prejudices are challenged and his mind opened. It’s a set-up that
could have been corny and obvious, but isn’t, thanks to a sparkling
and often very witty script that rounds out every character, even the
most minor, with shades of light and dark that were almost entirely
absent in Eastwood’s previous directorial outing, Changeling. gets in Thao and Sue’s world, the more he’s drawn into the ethnic without a critique of America’s past and its hypocrisies. There’s some
Walt takes Thao under his wing, attempting to instil in him all gang rivalry that blights his new friends’ lives, and the meeting of the promise in the next generation of new Americans, but in the context
the rules of the old American way, but as the film progresses it slowly two Americas reaches its poignant climax. of a society riven by racism, hopelessness and aggression.
becomes evident that the Walt’s old macho, patriotic attitude simply This film’s greatest strength is the subtly and open-mindedness Gran Torino provides no easy answers, but it provides a wise,
doesn’t fit the new America any more – and that, perhaps, it never with which it treats its themes, and big ones at that — race, identity, understated and fitting performance with which Eastwood has
truly solved anything in the first place. The more involved that Walt violence, life and death. There’s a sense of something lost, but not chosen to end a truly great acting career.

The Young Victoria hinting at characteristics associated with against the expectations of her family, for non-historians to follow, despite the compli-
her later life. and will not marry for her uncles’ cated relationships binding its main characters,
The film opens with the adoles- political gain, and yet, against her and it is deftly handled by the reasonably unknown
Dir: Jean-Marc Valée cent Victoria, describing her better judgement, strikes up a Jean-Marc Vallée.
Released 6th March
early life under the auspices friendship with Albert. And so However, at times the direction of the courtship
of her over-protective mother begins the long-distance court- feels a little lacklustre, developing as it does by way
>> Louise Ogden (Miranda Richardson) and ship that leads to their marriage. of endless correspondence. The act of letter writing
Despite being England's longest reigning advisor (Mark Strong). It is under The film is very much a show- lacks cinematic vitality.
monarch to date, Victoria has hardly proved a these circumstances that she first case for Blunt’s weighty perform- Although at its heart the film is a romance, it
feature film favourite, her most notable depiction discovers the hopes a powerful ance as the monarch, but Friend attempts to cover a number of other themes such
being ‘Mrs Brown’, in which Judi Dench painted nation have weighed on her young is equally striking, conveying the as the political history of the time and the unpopu-
a picture of the sour-faced, mourning widow shoulders as the only living heir to the measured nuances of a man who
she became in her later life. The ‘Famine Queen’ throne. Her two royal uncles, King William must learn to indefinitely take a back “Emily Blunt proves adept at
is portrayed as a woman so dependent on her IV (Jim Broadbent) and King Leopold seat to his wife. Paul Bettany, playing a re-inventing Victoria’s image,
husband, Prince Albert, that his death completely of Belgium, are adamant that she man much older than he is, provides
devastated her, severely hampering her ability to should marry the grooms that a further stand-out perform-
infusing her with the youthfulness
rule the country. they have chosen, respec- ance as Lord Melbourne, and sexuality with which she is
Hardly an image of female strength and tively. Albert (Rupert summoning the appro- rarely associated”
autonomy. The Young Victoria aims to redress this Friend), Victoria’s first priate maturity and
image of the ruler as a needy, dependent woman, cousin and nephew persuasiveness larity Victoria faced early on in her reign. However,
providing insight into her formative years as a prin- to Leopold is his required for the these themes are visited and then set aside, never
cess and newly crowned queen. choice for her. the role. fully developed. Yet, it remains an enjoyable film,
Although a strange casting choice, Emily Blunt The princess The script, which not only succeeds in challenging popular
proves adept at re-inventing the protagonist’s remains reso- by Gosford Park perception of the monarch but also sheds new light
image, infusing her with the youthfulness and lute that she writer Julian on why she mourned the love of her life until the
sexuality with which she is rarely associated, while will rebel Fellowes, is easy day she died.
 inSIGHT

11
film

PAG E
Wendy and Lucy ance, Williams has thrown all that aside in the most
definitive fashion imaginable in Wendy and Lucy,
manage to convey an awful lot of beautifully real-
ised detail that accumulates into a picture of Wendy
Our greatest atrocity
Dir: Kelly Reichardt playing the eponymous Wendy (Lucy is her beloved so complete that it takes multiple viewings to really
Released 6th March
pet dog), who, stranded in Oregon after her car
“The lack of any distinguishable
>> Tom Bonnick breaks down on the way to Alaska, where she plans
narrative is belied by the pure,

T
on starting anew, struggles to hold her semblance
hrough no fault of her own, Michelle Wil- of a life together. haunting strength of Williams’
liams has over the years acquired a number The lack of any distinct narrative for much of
portrayal”
of apparently indelible labels, which until the film — to summarise, Wendy loses Lucy, and
recently it seemed that she would never wants her back, desperately — is belied by the pure, begin to appreciate — everything, from the worn, >> Lewis Porteous
be able to shed from her career and personal life. haunting strength of Williams’ portrayal: she deline- tired face to the weak, high voice endows her with
Depending on her audience’s generation, she ap- ates the character with unbelievable acuity, turning sadness and sympathy. ‘OMG da Holocauzt totally SUCKED!!! LOL letz
peared destined to remain in the mind as either a figure whom lesser actors may do little more with Reichardt's proficiency in simultaneously uze it in r movie. P.S. Apple and Red Bull say that if
“The one from Dawson’s Creek who wasn’t Joey”, than ‘aimless waster’ into a woman whose motiva- assimilating so many themes into a single char- we show their products on screen, then they'll let us
“Ennis’ beard in Brokeback Mountain” or “Heath tions, however minimal and ordinary, are writ large acter's predicament — namely an economic and keep them for free.’ So read ace writer/director David
Ledger’s widow”, regardless of whatever new film across a pained, anxious face. social alienation — have distinguished her as one S. Goyer's text to his production staff on the eve of
she had a supporting role in. Even whilst having created an extraordinarily of American independent cinema's true masters, shooting his latest masterpiece ‘The Unborn’, a film
Now, thanks to Kelly Reichardt’s superb direc- sparse aesthetic — evoked as well by Will Oldham's and allowed Williams to finally found a role which which isn’t afraid to tackle all the big issues. Love?
tion and her own absolutely remarkable perform- bare, six-bar score — Reichardt and Williams cannot be reduced to a punchline. Check. Loss? Check. MP3 players? Check. Energy
drinks? Check. Man’s greatest atrocity? Check.
Perhaps it's unfair to bemoan the crass nature
of what is, to all intents and purposes, a dire schlock
horror film aimed largely at idiots. An important
aspect of growing up, after all, is to accept the unre-
lenting force with which such products will always
be churned out and, in turn, lapped up, or at least
attended, by audiences. It’s rare, however, to come
across a film which displays such disregard for
decency as to be as genuinely offensive, contemp-
tuous and insulting as The Unborn.
The picture revolves around Odette Yustman’s
Casey Beldon, a regular girl, just like you and I: she’s
into her college studies and loves to go out ‘club-
bing’ with her boundary-respecting boyfriend and
her sassy black best friend. That is until a malicious
soul, disconnected from its body, begins to pay her
visits, manifesting itself in the form of a young boy
and demanding that “it wants to be born.”
The film’s promotional materials alone would
have one believe that its creation was a positive
exercise in instilling in popular culture an aware-
ness of ancient Judaic mythology. Like a less anti-
Semitic ‘Der Golem’ for the Noughties. It’s hard to
pinpoint exactly when I realised that the feature
wasn’t quite the exercise in cultural relations I was
anticipating, but it may well have been upon the
Marley & Me but what I really wanted was the unity and heartfelt warmth as felt between sight of an octogenarian Holocaust survivor falling
man and dog. Marley and Me answered all my calls, like a slobbering Labrador down a flight of stairs as the possessed, barking
Dir: David Frankel to a squeaky toy (and if you’re enjoying that imagery then get in line now). body of a stroke victim gave chase to her. Or upon
Released 13th March Marley and Me features the bronzed, blonde Owen Wilson and Jennifer hearing the line “It's time to finish what started back
Aniston (like walking, talking paint-charts of golden perfection) as a journal- in Auschwitz all those years ago.” Or perhaps it was
>> Laura Doherty

O
istic couple juggling the trials and tribulations of married life whilst trying to the harrowing Auschwitz flashback scenes, presum-
ne of my very first cinema-going memories is from the time I gain control over their troublesome pooch. As the movie’s an adaptation ably shot at some kind of cheerful Butlins resort. Or
saw Beethoven in the Clydebank UCI; a screening which had of a book, and the book is compiled of newspaper columns, and the upon Gary Oldman’s initial appearance as the suspi-
a fifteen minute interval in the middle where columns consist of glimpses into John Grogan’s life as a dog owner ciously gentile Rabbi Sendak, presumably unaware
the audience could meet and greet two and all-round family man the film can begin to feel rather bitty at that Hebrew is read right-to-left. “If only there was
large St Bernards at the front of the theatre. It was parts. It’s basically just the life story of some dude who has some some kind of free, on-line encyclopaedia from
possibly one of the most exciting experiences of stuff going on, does things, doesn’t do some other things, and which basic information about various subjects
my life (assuming the hyperventilation was not all the while has a blonde loved one chew up furniture and pee could be attained,” I thought “then the film wouldn't
indeed allergen-induced), the likes of which around his house (the dog that is, not Aniston.) Despite the film’s have been so inadvertently insensitive.”
I assumed could never be matched by occasional dalliance in slapstick jiggery pokery its real-life basis Weeks ago, I went into a bank branch, at which
any other dog fronted film. Home- keeps it just on the right edge of sentimental. Minus the the staff, all female, addressed each other as ‘hun’
ward Bound 2: Lost in San chewed up sofas and piles of poo, the themes and ‘chicky,’ forgot about my enquiry and were
Francisco came close, Cats underlying life with Marley such as family witnessed doing some kind of spank-ass-dance
and Dogs elevated the ca- tragedy, the anxieties of growing older and thing, presumably in reference to their impending
nines in the age old the realisation of missed opportunities weekend's activities. I couldn't help but think “do I
war against their keep your eyes brimmed over at just really want all these deplorable wretches looking
feline the right parts: the final half hour after my money?” The Unborn, on the other hand,
fo e s, especially is a tearduct workout for has so far grossed over $33,000,000. Perhaps its
anyone with a soul. creators and the bank staff could swap occupations.
There’d still be a constant influx of terrible movies
to ignore, but at least my finances would seem a
little more secure.