100Subjectsfortavernchatter

byAlric

(Authorsnote:thisstartedasamuchsmallerlist,andquicklygrew
toafarlongerlistthanintended.Forthisreason,thelisthasbeen
reproducedasanAdobepdffile,whichcanbedownloadedhereor
onthedownloadspage.)
TaverngossipcanbeagreatsourceofDungeons&Dragons
adventureleads,andmorethanonepublishedadventurehasbegun
withtheheroesoverhearingsomethingoveratankardortwo.Many
experiencedplayershavebeenconditionedtolistenforadventure
leadsinthismanner,andsomemightask,WhatdoIoverhear?inanefforttogleanabitmore
informationabouttheadventure.
Often,theonlyinformationthedungeonmasterhasonhandfortheheroestooverhearispertinentto
theadventure,sohemayprovidemoreinformationthanheshould,orprovidetheboring,flatanswer
of,youhearnothinginteresting,whicheventhenewestplayerwillseeastheDMtakingtheeasyway
outofthesituation.
Itisforthisreasonthatthelistbelowwasgenerated.Thenexttimeaplayeraskswhattavernpatrons
arediscussing,aquickpercentilerollorfivewillfilltheplacewithlivelychatter,someofwhichmay
evenleadtoadventure.
1.Complaintsabouttheweather:itstoohottobecomfortable,toowetforthecrops,toocoldfor
goodhunting,etc.
2.Onepatronseeksadviceaboutthatchingarooffromanother.
3.Onepatroncommentsonanarticleofnewclothing(waistcoat,shoes,gloves,hat)wornby
another.
4.Onepatroncantsayenoughgoodabouthiswifesrecipeforbraisedcabbage.
5.Twowomenargueaboutwhohasbetterfurniture.
6.Anoldmanfoundastrangearticleofmensclothingunderhisyoungwifesbed.
7.Ayoungmanhasatoothache,andatoothlessoldwomanisgivinghimadviceaboutwhattodo.
8.Amanandwomanaretalkingaboutabooktheybothread.
9.Awomanistryingtoteachasongtoanotherwoman,whoisobviouslytonedeaf.
10.Twooverweightgentlemenareengaginginabelchingcontest.
11.Averythinwomanandveryheavymanareplayingchess.
12.Twosomberlookingfellowsrememberarecentlydeceasedfriend.

13.Amanwithverypoorhygieneasksanattractivewomanifoneofhissoreslookslikeitsgetting
worse.Thewomanisrepulsed,anddoesntknowhowtoanswer.
14.Twowomenarelaughingabouthowoneoftheirchildrencalledthelocaltaxbarongoblinface
thatmorning.
15.Twocraftsmenareresolvinganargumenttheyhadatworktoday.
16.Amerchantissaddenedthathelostasilverbuttonfromhisfavoritewaistcoat.
17.Threepatronsargueaboutwhichisthebesttypeofwine.
18.Apeddlerregalesasmallaudienceaboutaudaciousfashionswornacrossthesea.
19.Twoveryoldmenexchangeobviouslyembellishedwarstories.
20.Amillermournsthedeathofhispetcat,whichwasthebestmouserhedeverseen.
21.Averythinmanistalkingabouthowhiswifecantcook.
22.Anuglywomanisgivingromanticadvicetothesculleryboyshesuggeststhatheuselicorice
roottosweetenhisbreath.
23.Twoolderpatronsreminisceabouttheirlivesasadventurersdecadesago.
24.Onepatronisdeliberatingwithanotheraboutpossiblyrunningforpoliticaloffice.
25.Taxes,taxes,taxes.
26.Anoldmanisworriedabouthisdaughter.Shejustdoesntlistenanymore.
27.Twomerchantstalkaboutthesermontheyheardinthetemplethatweek.
28.Apatrontalksaboutwhatshehadforlunchthatday.
29.Twopatronscomplainabouttheconditionoflocalroads.
30.Afarmerexplainsthathefoundanolddaggerwhileworkinginhisfields.
31.Amerchantfretsabouttherisingcostsofdoingbusiness.
32.Apatronisverytiredhisinfantchildkepthimawakeallnight.
33.Awomanisconvincedthathersonisthenextgreatsculptor.
34.Adairymaidisfrustratedfromdealingwithsickcows.
35.Twomen,obviousbachelors,ponderwherenavelscomefrom.
36.Threepatrons,obviouslyactivemilitarypersonnel,discusssiegewarfare.
37.Twoyoungmentalkaboutpeatcuttersonethinksthat,sincetheyliveinmarshyareas,peat
cuttershavespottedbelliesandwebbedfeet.
38.Twofarmersagreetohaveanoxracetodeterminewhohasbetterlivestock.
39.Onepatronisgettinglegaladvicefromanother.
40.Aharlotisflirtingwithayoungman.
41.Twocourtfopsarewonderingwhatgameswillbeofferedatthenextmarketfair.
42.Aninconsolablemanweepsoversomeonefindingandtakinghislifesavingsfromitshiding
place.
43.Twopatronsarediscussingwhyyoushouldnevertrustalocksmith.
44.Atableisdebatingwhetherornotthetownneedsmorewatchmen.

45.Averyoldmanistellingayoungmanhowtogrowwalnutswithoutshells.
46.Amancomplainsthattheflowershiswifeusestodecoratetheirhousemakeshimsneeze,but
shewontchangethem.
47.Twooldmenaretalkingabouthowelvesreproduce.Theprevailingtheoryseemstobeexposing
deadelvestomoonlightbabyelvesthencrawloutofthecorpseandstartclimbingtrees.
48.Awomanisworriedthathersonspetsnakeescaped.
49.Averyhairymaninsiststhatthetownneedsmorebarbers.
50.Amerchantisafraidthatawarmaybreakoutbetweentheheroeshomenationandanadjacent
kingdom.
51.Twomen,alreadydrunk,arecomposingapoemaboutmead.
52.Twowomen,apparentlyscribes,argueabouttheshapeoftheworld.Thestrongerargument
suggeststhattheworldisshapedlikeapeanut.
53.Threetownsfolkdiscusshowtogrowthebestradishes.
54.Anoldmanbeginstellingaghoststorythathesobviouslytoldahundredtimesbefore,and
everyoneisignoringhim.
55.Ayoungmanisaskingeveryonewhowilllistenhowtowinawomansheart.
56.Twooldtimerscomplainabouthowlazyyoungstersarethesedays.
57.Twopatronstalkaboutasecretinvention,butstopwhentheyseeaherolookingtheirway.
58.Twomerchantsarediscussingconversionratesbetweenregionalcurrencies.
59.Threeyoungpeoplearetalkingaboutwhetherornotdwarvesfloat.
60.Twointoxicatedpatronsbeginarugingaboutwhocandrinkmore.Betsarealreadyfavoringthe
smallerofthetwo.
61.Aplainlookingmantriestoflirtwiththebarmaid,butsheobivouslyisntinterested.
62.Fourpatronsdiscusswhichseasonoftheyearisbest,andeachhasadifferentopinion.
63.Acommonertalksabouttheonetimehewasadmittedtothekingspalace,anddescribeshow
granditwas.
64.Aguardsmanworriesaloudaboutanescapedprisoner.
65.Twowomensharerecipesforsquirrelstew.
66.Anoldmanswearsthathisoaktreetalkstohimatnight.
67.Ayoungwomantalksaboutherrecentvisitwithherhusbandsfamily.Itwasntverycomfortable
foranyoneinvolved.
68.Twopatronsplaychess.Theydontsayaword,buttheyclearlydontlikeeachother.
69.Acommonerboastsabouthissonbeatinguptheguardcaptainssonthenlooksabout
furtively.
70.Awomanwithpoorhygieneexplainstoallwhowilllistenabouttheevilsofbathing.
71.Agroupofwomencomplainaboutmen.
72.Agroupofmencomplainaboutwomen.

73.Inabooming,bassvoice,ahuntertriestoexplainhowtomovequietlyinthewoods.
74.Twopatronsquietlysharearumorthatthistavernsstewmadeadwarfsicktohisstomach.
75.Ayoungwomanisdiscussingweddingplans.Thefirstitemonthelistisfindingahusband.
76.Threepatronsargueaboutwhydragonshoardgold.Theprevailingtheoryisthattheyburn
everythingelsewithfire,andgoldisarelativelysoftmetalforsleeping.
77.Apatrontalksabouthisbottlecollectionwithafriend.
78.Twopatronssharearumoraboutalocalbeautyeatingearthworms.
79.Twowomenarebettingaboutwhereahouseflywilllandnext.
80.Agroupofpatronsaredicingatanearbytable.Oneofthemisaccusedofcheating.
81.Twowomentalkaboutathirdwoman,whoishavinganextramaritalaffair.
82.Amanisarrangingforhissontobeapprenticedtoalocalblacksmith.
83.Anothermancomplainsthathiswifesnores.
84.Awomancomplainsaboutthefloorsinherhomethewoodenfloorsaretoosqueaky,andthetile
onesaretoocold.
85.Awomanwondersaloudwhythetowndoesntusemagictoremovesewage,insteadoflettingit
flowdownthemiddleofthestreets.
86.Twofishermentalkabouttheonethatgotaway.
87.Awomanisdescribinganewdancetoayoungman,whoisntreallylistening.
88.Twomusicenthusiastsargueaboutwhothebestminstrelinthekingdomis.
89.Acraftsmaniscrestfallen,sincehisdogbithisbestcustomertoday.
90.Fourpatronstrytoestablishwhichmushroomsaresafetoeat.
91.Ayoungmanexplainsthatwishingonstarsdoesntworkshemarriedtheotherfellow.
92.Awifeiscomplainingaboutherhusbandshuntingtrophies.Shecantwalkfromthekitchento
theprivvywithoutbeingstuckintheribsbyanantler.
93.Onepatronplanstobuildafencearoundhiscottage,becausehisneighborsstareintohisyardall
day.
94.Anoldwomanswearsthatablackbirdwinkedatherthismorning.Thebirdmustbeafamiliarof
somesort.
95.Averyuglyyoungmanwithanabacushasdiscoveredthelawofaverages,andhascometothe
realizationthatiftherewerethirtytimesmorewomenintown,itwouldbemathematically
impossibleforhimtoremainunmarried.
96.Awomancomplainsthataskunkhastakenupresidenceunderherhome.Sheblamesher
neighborforluringitthere.
97.Amanwonderswhyhissonhastohaveapetturtlewhycanthejustgetadoglikeeveryone
else?
98.Anothermanisdejectedbecausehiswifethrewallofhisbelongingsintothesewer.
99.Awomanisangrythatherneighborschildthrewrocksathergeesethisafternoon.

100.Awatchmanisannoyedthatanotoriouspickpocketescapedfromcustodytoday.
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