THE Dream Movement SERIES

Taking Time

ByMarcia Wieder
Americas Dream Coach
Number Seven
 In selected anecdotes in this book, names and identifying character-
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Copyright 2005
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The Dream Movement Series

Volume 1
Becoming a Dreamer
Going Back to Basics
Overcoming Failure

Volume 2
Accessing Your Power
Believing in Your Dreams
Finding Your Dream

Volume 3
Taking Time
Living a Rich Life

The Fundamentals of Ease Series

100 Ways to Make Life Easier
100 More Ways to Make Life Easier

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Taking Time
Introduction
Whats the biggest contributor to stress, or lack of ease
in our lives? Time. How we spend it, use itand sometimes
waste it. We live as though we dont have anything to say
about time; when the sun goes down, thats pretty much the
end of that day. But we can learn to shift our relationship to
time. Time management is not the answermaking the
most out of your time is not about cramming even more
tasks onto your to-do list. To have more quality of life, you
need to truly experience life by doing less. So instead of
asking yourself How can I do more? ask Why am I doing
this? Focus on the things that matter most to you, and you
will fully live every moment of every day.
Marcia Wieder
 Table of Contents
The Concept of Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7
Untimely Management . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8
Prisoners of Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10
The Illusion of Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11
What About Now? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12
No MoreNow What? . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
A New Relationship to Time . . . . . . . . .16
Developing Mindfulness . . . . . . . . . . . . .17
Just for the Fun of It . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19
Ease and Extra Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20
Naturally On Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21
Asking for Help . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22
Living from Your Passion . . . . . . . . . . .23
Time-Saver Basix . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25
Time to Live . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28
Insights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30

To keep a lamp

burning, we have to
keep putting oil in it.
Mother Teresa
THE CONCEPT OF TIME
Probably no other complaint is voiced as often as the com-
plaint of not having enough time. I dont have time to pur-
sue my dreams or to know my dreams. I dont have time for
me, for my family and friends. Basically, I dont have time to
live my life.
What a concept. Who created this? Clocks, calendars, day
plannersdo you know a single person who doesnt live by
their schedule, who isnt run by their calendar?
Whats your relationship to time? Do you have plenty? Are
you living in the natural rhythm and ease of life? Or, are you
like most people, chasing your tail, never having enough time,
often feeling exhausted or pooped?
When Im not buried in work, I have time, but then I dont
have the money I need. If Im working all the time, I have
money, but no time to enjoy it. Does this sound like you?
An overscheduled life creates stress. Feeling like time is
short, we keep ourselves mentally and physically very busy,
trying to accomplish the impossible feat of catching up. On
the other hand, too much idle or leisure time can also cause
undue stress. Time has such a grip on us that we can get agi-
tated when we have nothing to do.
Time is a man-made concept, initiated by the Mayans, the
creators of calendars. Brilliant in mathematics, they were
able to calculate the length of the Earths orbit around the
sun with an accuracy of a thousandth of a decimal point,
according to modern calculations. The Mayans gave each
month of their calendar a special meaning and paid tribute
to important days and moments. Many modern societies,
on the other hand, went on to sanitize time, divorcing it
from the flow of life, making it the law of the land. Our
society measures time in hours, minutes, seconds, nanosec-
onds (one billionth of a second) and even picoseconds (if
you could imagine trillions of a second). When it comes to
controlling time, we are way out of control.

Taking Time 7
 UNTIMELY MANAGEMENT
I meet so many people who have become prisoners of their
schedules and of their lives. They wake up by an alarm clock,
jolted out of bed to start their day. Rushing around the house,
they may prepare breakfast, get the kids off to the bus or
themselves to the office by 9 a.m. in order to be on time.
The work day is often spent in meetings or on the phone
putting out fires or fixing whats wrong. Hopefully, lunch is
calendared in, or they may inhale a sandwich at their
desk. At the end of the day, its the some deal with rush hour
(an interesting name for cars moving at a snails pace). Of
course if youre traveling home with a friend, you get a
break and get to go faster in the express lane. Thank heav-
en for small favors.
Round three starts as some miraculously get dinner on the
table and finally pass out into sleep, only to wake up the next
morning and repeat the routine.
Does this remotely resemble you or someone you know?
Does this sound like living? Is this freedom?
Stress and anxiety about time occur when we relate more to
the future than to our present. We are usually here, thinking
about there. To get us from here to there, we turn to time
management. The trouble with most time-management pro-
grams is that they focus on how to get things done more effi-
ciently. Time management doesnt give us more time.
Although it speeds up the treadmill and we may become more
productive, were only doing more. As Lily Tomlin said, The
problem with the rat race is, even if you win, youre still a rat.
USA Today polled adults asking if they were given one more
hour a day, how would they spend it? Eighteen percent said
they would spend time with family, 17 percent said they would
sleep, 13 percent would read a book or magazine, 7 percent
would exercise, 6 percent would participate in a non-sports
leisure activity and 5 percent said they would pray or go to
church. Think about it: If you had a 25-hour day, what would
you do with that precious extra hour?

8 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

 Have you been to New York City lately? The pace there just
seems to get faster and more chaotic. Everyone is rushing like
crazy and trying to schedule you in. Ill calendar you in for
lunch, one agent told me. At Elizabeth Ardens Red Door
Salon, women bring laptops or actual clients so they can do
business while having their toes done. Yet although the Big
Apple appears to be moving at lightning speed, nothing seems
to happen quickly. Theres this illusion that life is sped up, yet
the lines are longer than ever and things in general take longer.
Just how long is a New York second?
The other coast is equally notorious. Ive heard that Sam
Cohn, the superstar agent and vice chairman of Internation-
al Creative Management, has multiple phone lines that keep
callers in a holding pattern because hes too busy to return
calls. A movie producer friend told me that Jeffrey Katzen-
berg, co-founder of the media production company Dream-

Works, used to have four breakfasts in a row at the Regency in

Who is setting the
pace of your life?
Manhattan when he was in New York for business, starting
before 8 a.m. and finishing at 10:30. Hes also been known to
have two back-to-back lunches.
In Hollywood, the assistants to the stars have limo logs
(detailed reports of the comings and goings of their celebri-
ties), to-the-second appointment calendars and portable
everything. On any given day theyll screen hundreds of calls,
make last-minute reservations and reshuffle a dozen or so
appointments. Many even belong to the Association of
Celebrity Personal Assistants, which helps the more than 300
members cope.
And while traipsing between these two power cities, busy
airborne executives can receive calls during their flights.
Downtime has been abolished through the wonders of tech-

Taking Time 9
 nology. You can do business anywhere and anytimeand this is
the problem. With cell phones, BlackBerrys, beepers, e-mail,
fax machines, even car fax machines, the only way we can have
quiet, quality time is if we turn the world off. Do you dare?
I know theres a great deal of agreement about living on
time and how little of it we have. Its fairly new, though. Its
only been since the advent of trains that scheduling life to the
minute has become so paramount. Perhaps its not too late to
create a different kind of relationship with time, a relation-
ship that honors our heart, our needs and our values.

PRISONERS OF TIME
Have you ever been in a prison? Talk about prisoners of time
this is the real deal. When I spoke at a prison in Kansas City,
I felt my anxiety rise as I passed through one set of big doors
that slammed shut and locked before the next set of big bolt-
ed doors opened. I wondered what I would say to these peo-
ple and if I had anything of value to share.
The inmates I met with were in the last leg of their sentences,
and a visionary woman named
Sharon Schmitz thought it would be
A 25-Hour Day? a gift to show them that it was okay,
even necessary, for them to have
If you had a 25-hour day, what would dreams as they returned to society.
you do with that precious extra hour? Our two hours together was
Here are the results from a USA Today heartfelt and intimate. We set it up
poll asking adults that question: so we could have a discussion rather
than me giving them a lecture. They
Spend time with family 18% wanted to know what the rest of us
Sleep 17% want to know. What happens when
Read a book or magazine 13% you dont have a dream? What hap-
Exercise 7% pens when you have failed, or
Enjoy a non-sports leisure activity 6% nobodyincluding youbelieves
Pray or go to church 5% in your dream anymore?
As we began to conclude, I
looked at them and a smile came

10 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com


Its how you

spend the here and
now that really
matters.
across my face. They asked what I was thinking. I told them
that the number-one reason people tell me they cant make
their dreams come true or that they dont even know what
they want is because they dont have the time to think about
it. I asked them, Whats the one thing you do have? They all
yelled back, Time!
They taught me this: Its a question of how we spend that
time. Is it quality time or lost time? The difference between a
prison and an ashram (a quiet retreat for contemplation) is
choice. Are you imprisoned or set free by the way you spend
your time and live your life?

THE ILLUSION OF TIME

As we redefine our relationship to time, we also redefine our
relationship to the world, to ourselves and to our lives. Are you
living in time-bound awareness? If we are constantly thinking,
calculating and using our intellect to figure things out, we may
be ripping ourselves off. We are creating hurdles that keep us
from seeing and feeling that which is real, that which is now.
Explore the realm of timelessness by taking off your watch,
turning off the television, sleeping late or taking a nap.
Explore timelessness through meditation. Timelessness lives
in our hearts. Its like being swept away by a beautiful piece of
music. Time stands still. In this realm, reality, the world and
our lives are experienced differently.
I know a powerful business owner named Diane who used to
do everything very quickly. She was known for her efficiency

Taking Time 11
 and ability to get the job done. If there was a quicker and eas-
ier way to do it, she wanted to know. She was taught time is
money, so she taught her staff to be conscious of this. One
day, she had what she thought was a clever idea. If her sales-
people could shorten each of their phone calls by a few min-
utes, they could actually accumulate extra time and be more
productive.
Diane explained to me that if a sales rep was making an aver-
age of 20 calls a day, and he can cut five minutes off each call, by
the end of the day he will have saved an hour and 40 minutes, or
gained a whole extra workday by the end of the week. And with
that newly found time he could make more sales calls.
She actually thought this was a sound concept, so she put
clocks on all the sales reps phones. Later she realized she
must have been out of her mind. What about their relation-
ships with clients? What about the quality of the calls? What
about the well-being of her poor employees?
What is the price we are paying to have more time? Why are
we saving time, and what for? Arent we all just going to run out
of time eventually anyhow? Now is the only real time that exists.

WHAT ABOUT NOW?

How do we spend our moments? Are we here or dreaming of
being there? Am I listening to you, really? Are you reading
these words, capturing the message, having your experience,
or are you half here and half thinking about a conversation you
had this morning or an appointment you have tomorrow?
Perhaps youve heard this little ditty:
The past is history,
The future is a mystery,
But now is a gift,
Thats why we call it the present.
Being present takes practice. Developing a natural body
clock does, too. It starts by tuning in. Are you aware of your-
self? Do you know if you are a morning or a night person, and
has this changed over the years? Does this work for you and do

12 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

you believe this is the way it has to be?
Many of us attribute our success (and our stress) and ability
to accomplish things to our speed. We complain that the peo-
ple around us cant keep up and we often move on. We think

faster means better.

More and faster
doesnt necessarily
mean better.
My friend Paula told me she recognized an odd pattern in
her life that helped her really see this behavior. When she was
driving her car on the highway, she would frequently feel like
she passed by her exit. Sometimes she would get off, turn
around and go miles back, only to find she had not yet reached
her turnoff. She was getting off the highway one exit too soon.
Knowing that she had this tendency, Paula learned to always
continue one more exit beyond where she thought she should
get off. One day she asked herself, Where else am I getting
off one exit too soon or rushing through life? Her answer: a
resounding everywhere. Paulas relationship to patience is
probably like Margaret Thatchers, who said, I am extraordi-
narily patient, as long as I get my own way in the end.
For many of us, living now isnt okay. The sin of the centu-
ry seems to be free time. Many people overschedule as a way
of proving their worth. An open hour orshudder the
thoughta free day leaves some feeling nervous or useless. I
know it sounds odd, but its a matter of programming. There
is something about now that we have an aversion to. It has to
do with acceptance. Once we learn to accept where we are,
what we are doing and who we are being, well begin to reclaim
great power and ease.
Funny thing, that now concept. In the present moment
there actually is less stress. Stress comes in our resistance to

Taking Time 13
 this present moment. If you could just relax into it, allowing
this precious moment to be whatever it is, it would be a price-
less gift. But we are so resistant. We hold on for dear life to
some obscure memory of the past or desire for the future that
keeps us forever scrambling and, unfortunately, dissatisfied. I
am forever questioning where I am and wishing I was else-
where, when all I really need to do for ease is to get still, get
present and realize that where I am is the perfect place to be.
The moment you get thisreally get it in the fiber of your
beingyour life will be altered and you will always have access to

ease. We can take back our lives in small ways. Small steps build

Taking time for yourself

can be a great act of
generosity.
confidence to take larger leaps. Less stress means more success.
When you are healthy and stress free, you can dream and play
and have time and energy for the people and things you love.
Create a life that allows for more ease and grace. Be where
you are when you are there. Be here now. As noted author
Louise Hay often says, The point of power is in the present.
Be where you are now.
Learn to slow up, rather than slow down, which means that
relaxing can lift you up and give you more energy. Taking extra
time for yourself will actually give you more time.
Create something in your life that you allow to unfold natural-
ly. Write a poem or a story, plant a garden or learn to paint. Let it
take as long as it takes. Do it as often as feels right. It will teach
you deep lessons about unstructured structure and timeless time.
You have the ability to practice being in the now all day
long and every day. When you make tea or coffee, or when
youre cooking, smell the aromas and notice the colors, tex-
tures and shapes. Recognize when your thoughts drift from

14 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

the present moment and gently bring your attention back.
When the phone rings, use it as a chance to breathe. Take a
full, deep inhalation and exhalation each time before you
answer the phone. Gentle reminder notes around the house
and office can also be useful: Remember to Breathe and Are
You Here? are two of my personal favorites.
How about taking time out? Often used as a disciplinary action
for young children, I have found time out to be one of the great-
est gifts we can give to ourselves. When do you take time out and
how do you take it? Consider naps, romantic novels, short medi-
tations, a foreign movie or afternoon tea with a pal.
And bring back spontaneity. Sometimes its time to drop
everything and indulge a whim. Are you really that busy that
you never have time to change plans on short notice? When a
friend urges or a child pleas, can you respond?
How often I hear, I cant take the afternoon off or stop
working on this project. I have to stay in control. Sometimes
taking a break is the best possible thing you can do for a proj-
ect, even though you may not think so. A little burst of spon-
taneity and breaking routine will help you feel refreshed,
invigorated and more in control. Spontaneity, in modera-
tion, can give you a breather, re-ignite your passion and give
you a new perspective. Give spontaneity a shot.

NO MORENOW WHAT?
Where do you literally waste time? I was often complaining
that I didnt have time to exercise or go to the gym. I decided
to calculate where the hours of my day go and assess when am
I being productive and when am I not. I was shocked to dis-
cover out that I easily squander about 10 hours a week check-
ing e-mail. It had become my socially accepted addiction.
Every time I hit send or receive, I feel needed, wanted and
somehow significant.
To manage my newly formed bad habit, I decided I would only
check e-mail once in the morning and once in the evening. The
result was astonishing. I was able to take back a solid hour a day,

Taking Time 15
 which I am using at they gym or hiking in the woods. While in
the woods my mind is quiet and I have some of my most creative
ideas. When I returned to e-mail the world was still waiting and
I felt more intentional and focused.
Where can you take back some of your valuable time and
precious moments? Make time for the things that matter to
you by quitting something or scaling back on some of the
activities that may be robbing you of your time. As you
declare, No more, you make space for asking Now what?

Learn to make time

for the things that
matter to you.

A NEW RELATIONSHIP TO TIME

When we shift our relationship to time, we shift our relation-
ship to life and how we live. For some of us it can take a long time
(at least by our standards) to slow life down by one beat or by one
step, but everything in our life changes by doing this. We begin
to feel in synch with life, with nature and, most important,
with ourselves. By literally slowing down, we are more able to
keep up with ourselves. We begin to live by our own pulse rate.
Do you ever take off your watch? At least on weekends, do
you practice tuning into your inherent body clock? Do you
live as much of life as possible without checking the time? Or,
do you live in neatly scheduled one-hour increments?
Wait a second. What is a second? Your heartbeat can take a
second. Some adults have a pulse of 60 beats per minute. So
what are you tuned in to? Are you run by a man-made calcula-
tion or by an internal clock, a natural rhythm? Who is setting
the pace of your life?

16 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

 Whats your sense of time? When does time fly and when
does it drag? When do you feel timeless and when do you feel
time-bound? By becoming aware of your natural rhythm, of
your inherent clock, you can begin to create and shift your
relationship to time. You can begin to use time as a gift for
creating ease.
We need to find our own rhythm, our own flow, and we need
to learn to shift into the right rhythm for each of us. Your
rhythm feels right for you. It puts you at ease. If a man does
not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he
hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he
hears, Henry David Thoreau wrote.
We can shift to internal time by recognizing and acting on
what is true for us. Its this simple: Eat when you are hungry,
sleep when you are tired, play or do something fun when you
are bored. When we each learn to live on the beat, results hap-
pen effortlessly. All the pieces of our life symphony come into
accord; theres a beautiful pulsation and life works. You can
find your rhythm through nature. Notice what works for you.
Are you listening to birds, ocean and wind, or pagers, phones
and jet planes?
Heres the best part. Life can catch up with us and become
easier. We no longer have to do things like call looking for late
checks or feel desperate when we think we are running late to
a meeting. We can learn that everything happens in perfect
timing. We dont need to spend lots of time and energy try-
ing to make things happen. We can be available when some-
one needs us and even have time to take care of ourselves and
to do the things that matter to us most. This becomes a shift
in your reality.

DEVELOPING MINDFULNESS
Awareness is that state of mind which observes without con-
demnation. Its called being mindful, and every great master
and teacher has spoken about it as the path to peace of mind
and greater ease. Learn to infuse the spirit of ease into every-

Taking Time 17
 thing you do in everyday life by cultivating awareness.
You can notice when you are rushing, eating on the run and
not breathing. You will notice the moment stress starts and
learn to stop whatever you are doing for a moment. You can
catch your breath and regain your timing.
A dear friend of mine left his six-figure-income sales career
to become a limousine driver, making a few hundred dollars a

week. He did it so he could practice awareness.

Cultivate awareness of
the present moment.
Every day he practiced noticing. Thats it. He practiced
being in the moment by noticing people and nature, and his
thoughts and feelings. He was extremely aware of his behav-
ior because it really mattered to him. After a few months of
this practice, he became a much more loving man and happi-
er about his new simpler life.
Dont take this wrong. Simplifying or slowing down life does
not mean you have to give up your normal life. Perhaps it
does ask you to consider shedding some behaviors that do not
support you. This will help you feel calmer, richer and greater
ease about your life and yourself. Please do not fear where this
will take you. Trust yourself.
By the way, my friend later returned to the workforce. He
told me it was time for him to practice his newly developed
skills in the real world. He realized that a fulfilling life is not
about checking out. Its about contributing, teaching and
being of service.
By changing your body clock and your awareness, you can
change the timing of your life. You can absolutely live peace-
fully and not only still be effective, but actually accomplish
much more with less effort. Think of all the extra time youll
have to do the things you want, the things you love.
Too often our sad relationship with time requires that we

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spend most of our lives handling problems and fixing messes,
and if theres a little time left over maybe we get to do some-
thing fun. No wonder we feel like were aging so quicklyand
many of us are. As my mentor grandmother was often heard to
say, Nothin ages you faster than stinkin thinkin.

JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT

It is essential to our well-being and to our lives that we play
and enjoy life. Every single day, do something that makes your
heart sing. When we are doing what we love we dont care
about time. For at least that moment, time doesnt exist and
we are truly free.
Emily Dickinson said, To live is so startling it leaves little
time for anything else. Fill your life with as many moments
and experiences of joy and passion as you humanly can. Start
with one experience and build on it. Schedule this time at first
if you must. Make a date with yourself, every day if possible,
even if you take only a half-hour of time that is really just for
you. Your work can usually wait a half-hour, but your soul
cant. Then nurture these moments so they can grow organi-
cally. Look for ways to plant these playful dream seeds wher-
ever you can and attend to them as often as possible. Have it
be simple and delightful.
And whenever you can, please take off your wristwatch. To
be the master in your own life, start by being the master of
how you spend your time. Live as much of life as possible
without checking the time. Wherever and as often as possi-
ble, take the time you need and spend it the way you choose.
Eat when youre hungry and sleep when youre tired. Get to

Every day, do

something that makes
your heart sing.

Taking Time 19
 know what works best for you. Tune in to your inherent clock,
to your natural pulse, and use it as the valuable tool that it is.
Even if you dont believe this to be possible because there
are so many circumstances running you, try it in the areas that
matter most to you and in some small way. This can be a great act
of generosity. If you dont give yourself the time you need and
deserve, some part of you will rebel and perhaps even sabotage
you. Youll wind up wasting a lot more time and energy, when all
you needed to start with was a little attention for yourself.

EASE AND EXTRA TIME

I believe the way to have more ease in our lives is to be more
conscious of how we use, spend or waste time. Our relation-
ship to time is the access to an easier life. But often it seems
just the opposite is true. If you are run by time, ease may be a
foreign concept to you altogether.

When life seems

out of control, stop
and regroup.
Louisa May Alcott told us, Have regular hours for work and
play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that
you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then
youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life
will become a beautiful success, in spite of poverty.
Sometimes life and our schedules can seem pretty hairy and
out of control. The ability to stop and regroup at this moment
is essential. This is the time to ask yourself What do I need,
and how can I make it happen?
Recently my schedule was chock full. I was afraid that I
would soon run out of juice and exhaust myself. I knew I need-
ed a vacation, but I didnt initially see how it would be possi-

20 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

ble right at the time, which was when I needed it.
I said to myself, I must find a way to bring quiet and play
time into my schedule now. The next day, literally out of the
blue, the call came. Could I be in Cancn, Mexico one week
from Saturday to give a morning motivational speech?
My first thought was it sounded like fun. My second
thought sent me into overwhelm when I realized I had to be
on the East Coast for a big presentation on the following Fri-
day. So I asked my new prospective client for help. I explained
it would be too stressful for me to fly back and forth between
coasts and that it would be a big time drain on me while I was
in the middle of writing this new book.
No problem, she responded. She arranged for my accom-
modations in a five-star hotel, all expenses paid for that entire
week, plus airfare to fly back East. She gave me an oceanfront
room where I could sit with my notebook computer on the
balcony and write some inspirational prose.
The real irony is that, one week earlier, I had said my dream
was to be in a beautiful oceanfront location, writing. Talk
about hitting the jackpot. I got quality relaxation time, at the
beach, with all expenses paid. No one will ever convince me
that the power of clarity and intention cant move worlds!

NATURALLY ON TIME
While in Cancn, I practiced following my natural body
clock. I got up when I woke up, took naps, slept when I was
tired and ate when I was hungry. And life continued to deliv-
er miracles. The magic and ease that is available when we are
living in synch is extraordinary. It is some of the most pow-
erful magic I know.
I could have worried that I would be away too long. This is
the time when people are booking speakers for their confer-
ences, so shouldnt I be home marketing myself?
In Cancn, I relaxed. I was at ease when I met people and
had time for small talk and relationship building. I danced and
dined and had fun with my new friends. And I got booked for

Taking Time 21
 several future speaking engagements. Time can be our enemy
or our friend. It depends completely on how we use it.
John Muir, the great naturalist, wrote that he wanted to spend
all his time in an idle manner literally gaping with all the
mouths of soul and body, demanding nothing, fearing nothing,
but...hoping and enjoying tremendously. Dont we wish?
When you are living with your natural timing miracles
occur and can catch up with you. They dont pass you by
because you are part of the great plan, interwoven with them.
Life becomes easy. Please do not miss this point. Life is easi-
er when you are living it naturally.
While in this natural flow, be ready to experience some
magic: People will show up to help you, or a surprise phone
call might give you the answer you need, or you may clearly
see how you could easily help someone else. What makes this
magic is that it produces an extraordinary result. If youre
wondering if you were the reason the magic or miracle hap-
pened, remember what my friend Gillian used to tell me: If a
miracle takes place within 100 miles of you, take credit for it.

Living in synch brings
magic and ease.

ASKING FOR HELP

Notice that even when the timing is right, it still helps to actu-
ally make the request and ask for what you want or need. The
other day I bumped into a neighbor who was returning from
running some errands. This simple story illustrates my point.
Like most of us, she was short on time and trying to accom-
plish too much at once. As luck would have it, it was a rainy, nasty
day and she had a heavy box that needed to go to the post office.
As she dragged it downstairs, she was hopeful that someone
would come by to lend a helping hand. Right away she saw a
young man hurrying by with a handcart. Excuse me, she

22 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com


One of the great

shortcuts in life is
asking for help.
shouted. Would you be going to the post office? she said. As
a matter of fact, Im returning this cart to them. Hop on, he
exclaimed.
She was delighted to just put her box on the cart and walk
along with him. He asked how she knew that he was headed
her way. I just hoped you were, she responded. When youre
looking for help, really look, and when in doubt, ask. And if
the answer is no, perhaps ask a different question.
The point is that help is often right there, and sometimes
we miss it or it misses us. You dont have to wait for it to find
you. Reach out and speak up. Its a great way to save time.

LIVING FROM YOUR PASSION

When I speak about changing our relationship to time or
making room for our dreams, people get a little nervous. It
makes sense to be concerned. What are you going to do with
these new ideas and desires? How are you going to have time
to do what you really want? Your calendar is already jammed
with all the other stuff you need to do. Unless you have made
a conscious effort to clear some space, there is probably little
or no room to add passion and dreams to your life.
We live from our reactions, rather than from our dreams.
When something happens or needs to happen, we go to our cal-
endar, in search of an open slot to squeeze one more task into
our already very full life. By the time you do all the things you
have to do and need to do, is there any time left to do what real-
ly matters to you? Do you get the leftover precious moments,
assuming there are any? And what do you do with them?
How do you spend most Sunday evenings? Frequent

Taking Time 23
 responses include: planning the week ahead, laundry or
watching TV. Do you have any time scheduled for what you
love? Do you have time for you?
Im going to ask you to consider turning your life upside-
down. Dont panic, this does not have to happen all at once. It

does not have to be drastic, unless you say so. I want to show

Do you have
time for you?
you how to live a little more from your passion and a little less
from your calendar. Then you will feel in control of your life
and really know the true meaning of ease.
Practice using passion as your barometer. If you are asked to
do something and you dont have to do it and you are not pas-
sionate about it, say no. Passion can be the ultimate time-
saving tool for two good reasons. First, when you are doing
what you love, who cares about the time? When you are with
someone you love, or listening to a great piece of music, or
painting or volunteering, doesnt time just fly by? Dont you
feel as if you have slipped into timelessness?
Second, when you are doing what you love, it often gets
done faster than when you are doing only the things you need
to do. Our challenge is to free up your life from some of the
deeds you are doing. When you have a choice of accepting or
declining a task, do you ever use your passion as the reason for
saying yes or no?
Ben Franklin said, Do not squander time, for that is the
stuff life is made of. An extremely productive man who was
an inventor, scientist, writer, publisher and statesman,
Franklin retired at age 42. He also said, Be not disturbed at
trifles or at accidents common or unavoidable. Lose no time;
be always employed in something useful; cut off all unneces-
sary action. Franklin followed his heart, doing what he loved,
staying centered and knowing how to say no.

24 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

 Heres a quick word on calendars. Do you live in mortal fear
that you might lose your Filofax, PDA, or whatever is your
chosen organizational tool? I started out with a small calen-
dar. Friends ridiculed me, saying I needed a bigger book to
hold bigger dreams and ideas. I switched to an elaborate per-
sonal planning system. Soon I outgrew that and it was time to
get high tech. I transferred everythingall my dates, con-
tacts, records and phone numbersto a notebook-size com-
puter. It was wonderfuluntil one day when the computer
crashed and I lost everything.
I am now back to a small and simple calendar. I juggle very
large projects with this mini marvel. If I notice its becoming
too full or busy, I stop, sort, toss out and re-prioritize, based
on my passion and my dreams. I have learned to keep life pret-
ty simple. I do not compromise on my vision, just on how I
schedule my time.
My computer did have a cool capability that gave me great
insight. It had a T button for transfer. Whatever tasks I did-
nt complete could simply be transferred to the next day with
the touch of a key. After several days of transferring, I could
simply move the task to the following week. If after two weeks
I was still moving it around, I would switch to the D key,
which stood for delete.
This program made me realize how much time I was wast-
ing juggling incidental tasks that I never intended to accom-
plish. Now I am more aware and dont schedule things I dont
plan on doing. Awareness is one of the greatest time-saving
tools I know.

TIME-SAVER BASIX
Here are six of the ways I practice being in control of my time
and my life. I call them my Basixbecause they are basic
and there are six of them. As you make fundamental changes
in how you live, when you say yes or no, and how you take care
of yourself, you will develop your own Basix. Here are my
biggest and most basic time savers:

Taking Time 25
 1. Clarity. Whenever and as much as possible, I have a clear
picture of what I want or need, or what I am trying to create
or accomplish. Clarity helps me accomplish the other things
on this list faster and with much greater ease.
2. Prioritizing the day. If I lived strictly from my calen-
dar and to do list, I could feel overwhelmed daily. Each
morning, I decide what are the three most important things
for me to accomplish that day. Then I list them in order of

priority and I begin working on item #1. If its a big task, it

Live more by your
passion and less by
your calendar.
may be my only priority for the day. Completing it allows
me to feel good, even if I only completed one task. Practice
not overscheduling.
3. Multi-tasking. I have developed the fine art of accom-
plishing multiple tasks at once, by being extremely organ-
ized. With little effort and intentional focus, I can get so
much done, so efficiently. Living in the city helps. In under
two hours I can go to the post office, the cleaners, the bank,
eat a little lunch, and even get a manicure. If I attempt to do
this at high noon, when everyone else is doing their
errands, it takes longer. Part of my effective use of time and
creating ease in my life includes deciding when would be
the best time to accomplish these tasks. This is an impor-
tant point.
4. Bundling. This is a continuation of multiple tasks, but
has more to do with the layout of your tasks. Set you life of
for ease by using services that are near you, near each other, or
easily accessible. Access, if you live in the city, may mean its
walking distance or there is parking nearby. My favorite
butcher is on the other side of town, but is located near my

26 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

facialist. On days when my skin is glowing, Im usually having
a delicious dinner. Twice a month, this has turned into a Take
Care of Me day.
See where bundling can save you time. Do you have certain
days you go to the cleaners? Do you work out on particular
days of the week? Can you eat out that night or is there a good
carry out restaurant nearby? What activities are scheduled
into your life that could be bundled with other activities,
resulting in greater ease for you?
5. Just say no. When you dont have to do something and
you dont want to, why are you doing it? Practice saying no.
And practice doing it with grace and ease. Pain and discom-
fort come from resistance to something, not from the release
of it. Do you resist saying no? Take the pressure off yourself.
This simple little wordnowill allow you more time to
stop, look, reflect and practice a new way of living.
Pressure is contrary to ease. If you feel suppressed,
repressed, depressed or compressed, strongly consider saying
no (thank you).
6. Using resources. This is by far my favorite and most
powerful time-saver. If I need something, I dont always know
where to find it, but I usually do know who to call. Dont rein-
vent the wheel. Call your friends, family, colleagues and oth-
ers who can share their best and favorite resources with you.
When I was under deadline to complete my last book, I
needed several powerful quotes on specific topics. I could
have gone to the library and spent hours researching.
Instead, I called my friend Caterina Rando, who produced
a software program called Words of Women Quotations for Suc-
cess. Within minutes, she faxed me dozens of quotes, saved
me tons of time, and received an acknowledgement in the
book. When I needed a liability release for my business, I
called a business owner friend who sent over one that she
uses, with her permission to modify it to my needs.
Nothing makes life easier and saves more time than using
your resources. And remember, the more you give, the more
you receive. You are also a resource to many.

Taking Time 27
 More Time-Savers
One of my colleagues, Odette Pollar, is president of Time Management
Systems. She is the author of 365 Ways to Simplify Your Work Life and writes
the nationally syndicated column called Smart Ways to Work. Odette asked
me to share her time-saving wisdom with you:
You can do something easily or efficiently, which may not meet your
goal of simplification. Simplification has to do with reducing the volume
of tasks and complexity in your life. Three ways to simplify your life are:
1. Get rid of clutter and excess. Piles of things tend to distract you and
make you feel guilty. The more you own, the more you have to
transport, insure, store, dust and maintain. Things can take over your life.
2. Say no. Dont be afraid to say no to things, people, tasks and oppor-
tunities that clutter up your life and distract you from your objectives.
3. Simplify decision-making. Do not agonize over minor ones. They are
still minor with or without the agony. One suggestion is, if you are making
the same decision over and over again, you really need a rule, rather than
a new decision.

TIME TO LIVE
Have you heard about the new clock on the market called the
LifeClock? It runs backwards, counting off your remaining time
on earth in hours, minutes, seconds and tenths of seconds. It
assumes that as a man you will live to be 75, and as a woman, 80.
Do you think knowing how much time we have left will
enliven us? The poet Elizabeth Coatsworth wrote, When I
dream, I am ageless. And the Russian writer Emma Goldman
said, When we cant dream any longer, we die.
Last year I spoke on board a cruise ship. The average age of
the passengers was well over 65. I would split the people I met
into two categories, those with and without dreams. The ones
who had dreams and hopes for their golden years or for their
children and grandchildren were filled with life and energy.
Those who thought they were too old to have dreams were a lit-

28 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

tle like the walking dead. The difference was astounding. Mary
Martin, who of course played Peter Pan, the young boy who
never wanted to grow up, said, Its been a fabulous life. Ill keep
living until its time. Then Ill just go on to another stage.
Its how we spend our time here and now that really mat-
ters. If you are fed up with the way society and you have
come to interact with time, change it. You can loosen tech-
nologys grip on your life by not living for your fax machine,
e-mail, voice mail and pager. Use them only when necessary
or when you choose to. Decide what your hours of opera-
tion are and tell people when you are available. It does not
have to be 24 hours a day. Dont become addicted to tech-
nology, and if you already are, get help and break the habit.
Take control of your time again by learning not to answer
immediately. Put some space in your life. Use your precious
moments to live life fully. It is possible to be in a more nat-
ural flow. It is possible to have grace and ease in our lives,
and it is possible to exist in the day-to-day world in a very
different way than many of us do.

The way we spend

our time is the way
we spend our lives.
One of the ways to feel truly abundant, to feel the richness
of your life, is to be able to do some of the things you want to
do, when you want to do them. Give it a try now. Remember,
whether we like it or not, the clock keeps ticking away. The
way we spend our time is the way we spend our lives. It is the
quality of your life that matters. Moment by moment is the
only way we can live life. The better we are at this, the richer
our lives will be. Savor life and youll understand the true joy
of doing less and having more, every precious instant of every
priceless day.

Taking Time 29
 Insights
Keeping time is a man-made concept that has gotten
way out of control.
How you spend your time determines the quality of
your life.
We must learn to shift our relationship to time.
Time management doesnt give us more time. Although
it speeds up the treadmill and we may become more
productive, were only doing more.
You can loosen technologys grip on your life by using
your fax machine, e-mail, voice mail and pager only
when you choose to respond.
It is possible to live in timelessness awareness as
opposed to time-bound awareness by doing what you love
and what makes your heart sing as often as possible.
In the present moment there actually is no stress. Stress
comes in our resistance to this present moment. If you
can relax, allowing this precious moment to be whatever
it is, it would be a priceless gift.
Release the past, embrace the present and welcome
the future.
By becoming aware of your natural rhythm, you can
begin to create and shift your relationship to time.
You can learn to make time for the things that matter
to you.

30 The Dream Movement Series www.dreamuniversity.com

 Slowing down, breathing and noticing life will change
your internal clock and how you live your life.
Fill your life with as many moments and experiences of
joy and passion as you humanly can.
Work can wait; your soul cant.
When you get in synch with your natural timing, the
miracles and magic of life can catch up with you and
your experience of life changes.
Spontaneity, in moderation, can give you a breather, re-
ignite your passion and give you a new perspective.
Passion can be the ultimate time-saving tool. When you
are doing what you love, who cares about the time?
Moment by moment is the only way we can live life. W

Taking Time 31
 Make a Daily
Dream Visit
For immediate support on
Making Your Dreams Come True,
I invite you to...
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