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CPR Talk 5

This document outlines steps for working through difficulties in Christian personal relationships known as HOLD. It recommends speaking the truth respectfully when issues arise, distinguishing between matters of right and wrong versus preference, and working to resolve conflicts and restore peace. The goal is to build unity through humility, patience, and forgiveness so relationships can experience God's fullness and further his evangelical work.

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Junniper Torres
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602 views4 pages

CPR Talk 5

This document outlines steps for working through difficulties in Christian personal relationships known as HOLD. It recommends speaking the truth respectfully when issues arise, distinguishing between matters of right and wrong versus preference, and working to resolve conflicts and restore peace. The goal is to build unity through humility, patience, and forgiveness so relationships can experience God's fullness and further his evangelical work.

Uploaded by

Junniper Torres
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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CFC-HANDMAIDS OF THE LORD

CHRISTIAN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

TALK No. 5 : WORKING OUT DIFFICULTIES IN HOLD

Expanded Outline

A. THE SCRIPTURAL STANDARD: PEACE

1. Eph 4:1-3, 25-27, 29, 31-32.

a) Love and unity are important for our life in HOLD. Peace binds us together.

b) Peace is a function of right relationships.


Relationships will be right if there is:

* Humility, meekness, patience, tolerance.


* Dealing with difficulties quickly.
* Proper speech.
* No bitterness, anger, slander, malice.
* Kind, compassionate, forgiving.

c) Peace is not just the absence of fighting, but refers to good and positive relationships,
which bring good for all involved.

2. However, we are still not fully formed.

a) We will occasionally fail in righteousness.

b) We will still encounter difficulties, conflicts and misunderstandings.

3. Our goal is peace.

a) To enable us to experience the fullness of God's life in and through HOLD.

b) To enable us to move as a united army that will carry out massive and rapid
evangelization. Luke 11:17.

B. SPEAKING THE TRUTH

1. Eph 4:25b.

a) Not just avoiding lying, but to do something, to speak. We should not withhold the
truth from one another.

b) We should communicate openly about whatever is significant in our relationships.


2. Confront difficulty that affects relationships negatively. Be reconciled.
a) When we have a charge against others. Mt 18:15-17.
b) When others have a charge against us. Mt 5:23-24.

c) In either case, we should take the initiative.

C. WORKING OUT CONFLICTS

1. We need to distinguish if it is a matter of right or wrong (sin and righteousness), a matter


of better or worse, or simply a matter of personal preference.

2. Matters of right and wrong.

a) Ask forgiveness for your part.

b) Reprove your brother/sister for what he/she did wrong.

* Do it in a straightforward way. Not apologetic or circuitous. Kindly and without


animosity.

c) Resolve it.

* Normally by talking it through.

* If you can't resolve by yourselves, go to and get judgment from a leader/elder.

* Restore the relationship.

3. Matters that are clearly a question of better and worse (e.g., how one performs a
particular service).

a) Speak to the person directly. Make the correction.

* Do this authoritatively when you are in charge.

* Give it as a suggestion if you are not in charge.

b) Be eager to learn and to improve. Agree to change.

* Don't be defensive.

* Realize that correction is not criticism but an expression of love.

c) There is no need for repentance for matters of better/worse (not wrongdoing).


4. Matters that might be a question of better or worse, but are not clearly so. E.g., child
rearing practices; use of money.

a) Arises from different opinions or expectations.

b) Resolve by coming to an agreement.

* Establish common understanding where none existed before.


* Openly discuss merits of different positions.

* Be willing to compromise or even give in for the sake of peace.


* Agree clearly. Check to see if you understand it the same way.
* Call one another to your agreement.

5. Matters of personal preference. E.g., roll or squeeze toothpaste tube.

a) Small stuff, mannerisms, preferences.

b) Put up with what's not wrong. Col 3:13a.

* Not always make a big deal over what is difficult for you.
* General attitude: Col 3:12.

c) Sandpaper ministry.

* Often the Lord puts us together with others with the purpose of taking the rough
edges out.

* Give up wanting things always done our way.

* Not have to have own way before one can be happy.

* Learn to appreciate differences. Be sensitive to how we do things.

* Develop a sense of humor. The more we are attached to our preferences, the sillier
we are.

d) When forbearing, do so without resentment or self-pity, but willingly and eagerly.

* Right attitude: Col 3:14-15a. Love and peace of heart.

6. "The Personality Conflict".

a) We use being different from others to rationalize our own selfishness, self-will,
intolerance.
b) Our differences are never an excuse not to love.

* The greatest personality conflict is between God and us! Yet God loves us.

c) The right attitude:

* Set yourself on love. Lay down your life for them.

* Be thankful for the "trial". James 1:2-4. "No pain, no gain".

D. CONCLUSION

1. Conflicts in HOLD are normal.

a) We are still imperfect. We are still learning.

b) We do not need to be overcome by these conflicts. Instead we can overcome them in


Christ.

c) We can be thankful for the opportunities that conflicts bring for us to grow in loving
one another.

2. Our goal is to let the Lord change us to be His kind of people.

a) Meek, patient, forgiving. Peacemakers.

b) Just like Jesus himself.

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