Child Sexual Abuse

Non Offending Parents

February 1993

Protective Services for Children & Young People

Department of Health and Community Services

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 i

 CONTENTS

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction 1

The Relationship Between The Non Offending Parents Support and the Child's
Rehabilitation 3

"The Myth of The Collusive Mother" 6

- Development of the Stereotype 6

- Exploding the Myth 6
- Towards a Better Understanding 7

Responses of Non Offending Parents to a Disclosure of Sexual Abuse 9

from their Child

- nature of responses 9
- the response as a process 11

Strategies and Practice Issues 13

Engaging the Non Offending Parent 14

Assessment Issues 19

The Needs of Non-Offending Parents following a disclosure 24

Conclusion 26

Bibliography 27

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 iii

Foreword

A review of the literature on non-offending parents over the last decade reflects a significant
shift in the way professionals have viewed the role of non-offending parents in the context of
child sexual abuse.

This paper has been written to summarise recent research and theoretical concepts, and presents
implications for child protection work. The crucial link between the rehabilitation of child
sexual abuse victims and the support of the non-offending parent is highlighted. This paper is
intended to stimulate discussion and encourage the development of strategies by protective
workers, aimed at enhancing the relationship between non-offending parent and child.

Note:

i) The term non offending parent will be used in the text of this paper. It is
acknowledged that the non offending parent will generally be the mother and
therefore pronouns indicating female gender have been adopted (e.g. she, her).

ii) Where discussion drawn directly from literature uses the term mother, it will be
repeated in this paper to reflect the authors statements as accurately as possible.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 v

Acknowledgments

This paper was written by Pam Keeble, Protective Services Branch, under the supervision of
Gabrielle Burke and Jo Pollett. Comments from the Protective Services Training Team are
acknowledged with thanks.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 vii

Child Sexual Abuse - Non Offending Parents

PK140RPT.PL
Introduction
The focus of protective intervention is the protection and rehabilitation of children who have
been abused and are not adequately protected. Why then a paper on non-offending parents?

Many of the theories about the causes and effects of sexual abuse have focussed on the
culpability or collusiveness of the victim's mother in permitting the abuse to occur. The
literature has been full of examples of the ways in which mothers consciously or unconsciously
encourage incestuous relationships between father and child or, at the very least, fail to
intercede once they become aware of the sexual activity.

More recent writers and research studies challenge the role previously ascribed to non offending
parents as colluding in the abuse, and question the applicability of the stereotyped view of the
non-offending parent which had developed in the literature.

As we learn more about child sexual abuse and its impact it becomes evident that the supportive
non-offending parent plays a crucial role in the rehabilitation of a child victim. Kieran
O'Hagan, a British social worker believes that "the major task (for protective workers) is how
to get the non-offending mother on the side of the abused child. That has to be the way
forward" (Goddard 1990).

Conte16 reminds us to examine the needs of family members at this time of crisis, and states that
"unfortunately for many child victims, professional attitudes and beliefs about the family and
other aspects of the social environment and sexual abuse are based on early notions about the
"incest family" where it was believed that mothers colluded with fathers and incest daughters
had a role in their own abuse."

He states that it is our perception that often professionals fail to recognise that having a child
sexually abused is a major life trauma for families. When families act with shock, ambivalence,
and even a tendency to focus on their own pain, many professionals view the families as
neglectful or narcissistic. Such views and periodic anger toward parents who do not respond in

2 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

what some professionals regard as sufficiently child-directed ways following disclosure of abuse
often result in insufficient efforts to reach out to families".

The purpose of this paper is to provide protective workers with an overview of research findings
and clinical practice with non-offending parents. This will assist protective workers to:

! recognise the importance of developing opportunities to positively influence the

non offending parents support of her sexually abused child.

! develop an awareness of how protective workers attitudes, assumptions and

intervention strategies can influence a non offending parent's response to a
disclosure of child sexual abuse, and hence influence the nature of the
relationship between the non-offending parent and her child.

! maximise opportunities which will enhance the recovery of child victims.

! maximise opportunities to access information from the non offending parent

regarding the child and family for the purpose of assessment.

! develop an awareness of the need to maintain an open mind in assessing the

capacity of the non offending parent to protect while ensuring safety of the child
as the priority of intervention.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 3

The Relationship Between The Non-Offending Parent's Support
And The Child's Rehabilitation.
The strength and supportiveness of the relationship between the non offending parent and her
sexually abused child(ren) has been observed by many researchers as an important element in
the recovery of the child from the impact of the abuse.

Erooga and Masson1 state that studies, (Everson5, Hunter6, Pellegrin12) show that victims who
are believed and whose families are supportive tend to experience fewer psychological
repercussions from the abuse.

Everson4 notes that theoretical and clinical literature consistently suggests that maternal support
is crucial for ameliorating the harmful effects of father perpetrated incest.

Everson's study4 found that the level of maternal support was more important in predicting the
child's initial psychological well being than was the nature and length of duration of the abuse
or the offenders relationship to the child.

Hewitt and Barnard3, in clinical practice, reported on the central role that the non offending
parent has in determining the child's adjustment and in ensuring the ongoing protection of the
child. Improving this relationship, which is often initially characterised by hostility and
emotional distance, became a focus of their work.

Sirles and Frankes7 in their study note that a non offending parent's belief in her child can be
seen as a strength from which to help build protection for the child in the future. That belief,
however tenuous should be supported.

In a study which sought to identify factors associated with variation in the effects of sexual
abuse in children, Conte, Berliner and Schuerman16 found that the most significant variables in
understanding the impact of the sexual abuse on a child's functioning both initially and at the
follow up were:

- the child's relationship with supportive adults and siblings.

- the functioning of the family and its social context i.e. income security, housing,
general health and well being etc.

4 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

The healthier and stronger these variables the less the impact of the sexual abuse. Conte et al6
state that "this is not all that surprising given the importance of the family in the child's
development and the role that the family and other aspects of the environment can have in
helping a child recover from painful experiences".

The Family Crisis Program data from the Tufts New England Medical Centre, reported by Salt
et al14 placed a slightly different emphasis on maternal response to sexual abuse in relation to the
impact on the child's rehabilitation. Their findings indicated that positive responses on the part
of the mother were not systematically related to the amount of distress the child experienced,
i.e. a mother's expression of concern about the child and her ability to take action to protect her
child did not necessarily shield the child from the harmful psychological consequences of the
sexual abuse. However, when a mother expressed anger toward the victimised child and
punished that child for revealing the abuse the child was likely to manifest greater behavioural
disturbance. Furthermore, an angry reaction on the mother's part was associated with lower
self esteem in the child. As the authors point out, it is possible to argue that some of this anger
may predate the sexual abuse disclosure.

The authors did conclude that it is clear that a child who is blamed or punished by the non-
offending parent for revealing sexual abuse is likely to manifest more severe emotional
problems than one who is not.

Implication

! Given that the nature of the relationship between the non offending parent
and the child has been demonstrated to be important for the child's future
protection and psychological adjustment, protective workers should ensure
that:

- immediate intervention is aimed at supporting non offending parents

and helping them to believe, empathise with and offer consistent
emotional support and protection to their children. This may be
one of the most effective ways of reducing the stress and instability
many children experience following disclosure of incest and will
enhance recovery.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 5

 - intervention is planned in such a way as to enhance even the most
tenuous relationship between the child victim and non offending
parent. Various strategies and techniques can be adopted which will
assist in this. (Refer to section titled Engaging the Non Offending
Parent).

6 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

The Myth Of "The Collusive Mother"

Development of a Stereotype.

Much of the literature on incestuous families has been focused on shortcomings in the mother.
In the past many writers have portrayed the mother as collusive and largely responsible for the
abuse.

Salt et al14 present an overview of previous research in this field and conclude by stating that
"the image of mothers of incest victims presented in the clinical literature, from the 1950's to
the present, is remarkably consistent and uniformly negative".

There is little in the literature to suggest that mothers respond assertively and empathically to
their sexually abused children. Typical of the views contained in research reports cited by Salt
et al14 is a statement by Kempe who, in 1978 contended that "Stories by mothers that they could
not be more surprised can generally be discounted; we have simply not seen an innocent
mother in cases of longstanding incest".

Exploding the Myth.

More recent views moved away from the stereotypic image of the "collusive mother" and
regarded the non offending parent more sympathetically as "powerless in her role" and placed
the responsibility for the abuse clearly with the offender.

! Erooga and Masson1 comment that, while mothers may have at least ambivalent
relationships with their abused children, it is not they but the perpetrators of the
abusive acts who are responsible for what has happened to their children.
Erooga and Masson1 continue by quoting Ward who puts it more bluntly - "even
if a daughter does experience her mother as rejecting, neither she nor the mother
are asking for the father to sexually abuse her".

! Finkelhor2 notes that the circumstances of father-daughter incest do not warrant

holding mothers morally responsible for the incest. He promotes the view of
mothers in incest situations as victims themselves - often

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 7

 trapped in an oppressive role. Finkelhor's explanation for mothers denying the
occurrence of incest is that, for many, the dilemma they face once they are
aware of the incest is enormous and denial may be the only way they can cope.

! Herman11 portrays non-offending parents as passive victims of a patriarchal

society unable to protect either themselves or their children.

! Hewitt and Barnard3 when reporting on group work with mothers of incestuously
abused children similarly viewed those women who had not effectively
intervened to prevent their husband from committing incest as powerless to
effect change in the situation.

Towards a Better Understanding of Non Offending Parents

The findings of the Family Crisis Program14 suggest that the responses of non-offending parents
to the sexual abuse of their child and their own psychological characteristics are far more
diverse than previous reports have indicated. A systematic evaluation was designed to assess the
extent to which a sample of mothers matched the stereotypic pattern. The overall findings
challenge the universality of the image of mothers as willing accomplices in incest or other
types of sexual abuse.

Implications

! In view of research undertaken during the 1980's (Ward 1985, Dietz and
Craft 1980) which demonstrated that many protective workers maintained
stereotypic beliefs of the non-offending parent, it is important that
protective workers are aware of their own values and attitudes towards non
offending parents particularly in relation to views on collusion.

! Attitudes of protective workers which are based on an underlying belief

which holds non offending parents responsible for the sexual abuse of their
child may lead to inappropriate and even harmful interventions. Non
offending parents who show the slightest tendency to deny the

allegations may be accused of collusion. In some cases children may be

8 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

 removed precipitously from the non offending parents care.

! The role of a non offending parent in a family where a child has been
sexually abused needs to be assessed on the basis of the dynamics and
characteristics of that particular family - preconceived notions should not
influence assessments.

! It is necessary to undertake a thorough evaluation of the non offending

parents capacity to work through the trauma of discovering that her child
has been sexually abused. Only then is it possible to make sound
judgements about whether a mother will be able to provide her child with
sufficient support and protection to prevent any further sexual abuse from
occurring. (Refer Assessment issues).

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 9

Responses of Non Offending Parents to a Disclosure of Sexual
Abuse From their Child

The Nature Of Non Offending Parents Responses

A number of studies (Everson 1985, Adams Tucker 1982, Faller 1984, Gomez-Shwartz et al.
199014) report similar findings when examining the responses of non-offending parents to
disclosures of sexual abuse of their children. Broadly, the responses can be categorised as
follows:

- A Protective Response

Some will respond decisively and without ambivalence to protect their children.
These parents direct their anger toward the offender, and in no way blame the
child for the abuse. They are likely to take protective action without being
pressured by authorities.

- A Response Reflecting Role Conflict

These non-offending parents experience a conflict of varying degree in their

allegiances to both their child and their spouse. This group will often have
difficulty taking strong enough action to protect the victim without the
intervention of protective services. Some may become angry with the child,
while others may offer at least ambivalent support to the child.

- Overwhelmed, Denying the Abuse or its Significance

This group will be almost immobilised by the disclosure of the abuse. They
may deny the occurrence or significance of the abuse and show only moderate
concern for their child.

- Rejecting and Unprotective

The responses of this group are typically rejecting of their child, siding with
their partner and taking no action to protect their child.

10 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

Erooga and Masson1 reflect the findings of these authors by highlighting the diversity which
exists among non offending parents in their responses and encouraging professionals not to
assume a likely response or a fixed stereotype.

Salt et al14 in discussing findings of the Family Crisis Program Study confirmed the diversity of
responses of non offending parents and also indicated that the responses of non offending
parents in an incest situation do not appear to differ markedly from the responses of non
offending parents in non incest cases of sexual abuse.

Laing & Kamsler17 highlight the role confusion the non offending parent will often experience.
"She may see herself as inadequate or blame herself for her failure to be a good enough mother
to protect her child. She may also be very fearful that fully supporting the child will lead to her
losing both her future security and her relationship with the offender. She may experience a
dilemma of loyalty about whom to support and may feel overwhelmed by confusion about what
action to take".

Laing & Kamsler17 also raise the issue of the role of the offender in influencing the non
offending parent's response to the disclosure of sexual abuse. At this time the non offending
parent will be extremely vulnerable to the tactics of the offender as he attempts to maintain the
shield of secrecy. The offender may be denying the assault and be intervening in ways which
lead the mother to disbelieve the child, or if she believes her, to think that the child encouraged
the sexual contact with him. He may be saying things like: "She led me on, what could I do?'
"She wouldn't leave me alone". "Why did she stay up late watching TV with me if she didn't
like it?".

The mother may be unaware of the ways that the child has been coached by the offender to keep
secret what occurred. The offender uses these ploys to ensure that his behaviour remains secret,
create division and mistrust between his victim/s and their mother.

Because of the secrecy around sexual abuse and the offenders denial/minimisation, both the
mother and child may be unaware of the extent of the offender's contributions to their own
experiences and reactions, and to the difficulties in their relationship. While the offenders role
is largely invisible, the mother and child will often be experiencing damaging guilt and blame in
their interactions with one another.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 11

The Process of A Non Offending Parent's Response

A number of writers (Salt14, Erooga and Masson1) liken the responses of non offending parents
to the disclosure of sexual abuse to the grieving process, in which there is a passage from denial
through anger and depression before the traumatising reality can be accepted.

! The initial reaction is often shock and denial. This may be momentary for
some, while others will refuse to believe that the abuse could have taken place.
Non offending parents who continue to deny may need considerable therapeutic
intervention before they can accept their child's allegations. Some mothers are
never able to acknowledge the sexual abuse, and resist all efforts to be engaged
in treatment.

! Once the reality is accepted, mothers often experience a period of guilt and self-
recrimination. Many berate themselves for not having seen clues that the abuse
had been going on or for not having taken action when they first suspected that
something might be amiss.

! Anger toward the offender, and depression, may follow as the non offending
parents contemplate the losses and disruptions in their lives.

! Finally, acceptance that the sexual abuse has taken place allows the mother to
begin working toward restoring equilibrium within the family unit.

Not all non offending parents are able to proceed through the entire process. Some never break
through their denial. For others their own depression may mean that they are unable to help
their children.

Implications

! A range of possible reactions can be expected from non-offending parents.

! Protective workers should approach each situation with an open mind with
a view to identifying the nature of the reaction. This will assist in more
effectively understanding the non-offending parent and facilitate

the engagement process.

12 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

! Acknowledging the crisis that disclosure of child sexual abuse precipitates
for the non offending parent and encouraging the non offending parent to
accept support during this time is important in working toward the building
of a positive relationship between the non offending parent and the child
victim.

! Initial reactions and response of a non offending parent to a disclosure of

child sexual abuse does not necessarily predict the eventual capacity of the
non offending parent to take action to protect their children. Recognising
the response of a non offending parent more as an evolutionary process
similar to a grieving process rather than accepting the initial response as the
response, may result in a more positive and supportive relationship
developing between the child and non offending parent. Therapeutic
intervention may be required to assist some non offending parents.

! Protective workers have a crucial role in educating the non offending

parent, preparing her for what she may feel and helping her to recognise
her own potential to act to protect her child.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 13

 Strategies and Practice Issues

The literature cited to date has had a focus on research findings and theoretical
concepts. Several authors, however, present ideas and strategies more
specifically related to practice. The following section is therefore more
practice oriented with specific suggestions, regarding strategies for practice.

14 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

Engaging The Non Offending Parent
Given the importance of the support of the non offending parent for the child's recovery the
engagement of the non offending parent, wherever possible, is crucial. A number of factors
impact on the engagement process and various strategies can be considered as options to
enhance engagement.

The Attitude of Protective Workers to Non Offending Parents

As noted previously studies demonstrate that the way in which protective workers view a non
offending parent can influence the way a non offending parent responds to the disclosure of
sexual abuse of her child. Just as negative attitudes can be picked up by the non offending
parent eg. mother blaming, the collusive mother, etc. and often result in the non offending
parent feeling blamed to some degree for the abuse, so too will sensitive and supportive
attitudes be picked up and facilitate the engagement process.

Strategies which may positively influence the non offending parent at the engagement phase
include:

- regarding the non offending parent as a traumatised person in crisis.

- being aware when communicating (verbally and non verbally) with the non
offending parent that she may be vulnerable to feelings of guilt and blame.
Maintaining an objective and open mind when assessing and working with a non
offending parent should assist in avoiding interpretations by the non offending
parent, that she is blamed or held responsible in some way for the abuse.

- remaining aware of personal attitudes towards the non offending parent in each
case and ensuring that myths and stereotypes from early literature are not
guiding the protective workers assessment and are not being propagated.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 15

When to involve the non offending parent.

Oates10 makes several observations from his clinical experience in working with non offending
parents which are useful for protective workers to consider when planning investigations of
child sexual abuse.

Options:

! Interview the child before making contact with the non offending parent.

! Interview the alleged non offending parent initially.

! Make contact with the alleged non offending parent initially, advise her of the
reported abuse, advise her that the child will be interviewed, invite her if
appropriate to be available to support the child after the interview.

Advantages of Early Involvement of Non Offending Parent:

! Oates10 considers that a process which involves a non offending parent at the
early stages of the investigation can help her to accept the facts and the reality of
the abuse. To make contact after the initial fact gathering, and interview of the
child may detract from this process.

! Where the non offending parent has belief in the child the positive impact on the
child's rehabilitation and protection has been highlighted, at least in avoiding the
child victim being blamed or punished for the abuse with the consequent
psychological distress which results from this.

Disadvantages

! Early involvement, particularly when indicators at the notification stage are

unclear may provoke an unnecessary crisis for the non offending parent.

16 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

] ! Police may consider, from an evidentiary point of view, early involvement of
the non offending parent inappropriate. This will need to be negotiated with
police on a case specific basis.

The issue of when to involve the non offending parent requires careful consideration.

Many arguments are put forward for not making contact with the non offending parent initially -
"how do we know she is the non offending parent?", "we will be accused of contaminating the
evidence", "what if she becomes upset and angry, we can't let her child see her in this state",
etc.

All of these are legitimate challenges to face, however, making initial contact with the non
offending parent can result in more effectively engaging her and fostering or enhancing a
supportive relationship with her child, thereby helping the recovery of the child victim.

It must be recognised that:

- almost without exception the non offending parent will be in crisis, upset,
possibly traumatised by this interview, even if she knew about the abuse. This
does not mean that, with time and support, she will not be able to support and
protect her child.

- a non offending parent may require a separate worker to help her cope with her
emotional response while the child is being interviewed.

O'Hagan18 believes that a non offending parent who is contacted prior to interviewing the child
is more likely to move towards a position of supporting and protecting her child than one who is
contacted after the child's interview. Feeling excluded can immediately create a negative
reaction in the non offending parent towards the intervention and alienate her from the start.
Excluding at this initial stage may result in the non offending parent believing that those
intervening associate her in some way with the abuse and the likelihood of her rejecting the
child is far greater.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 17

The most appropriate way of involving the non offending parent in the disclosure process.

Oates10 suggests that a non offending parent will be helped to believe that sexual abuse has taken
place if she witnesses her child's disclosure.

Options :

! Non offending parent witnesses interviews from behind a one way screen.

! If no one way screen is available a "hand-over" meeting takes place after the
disclosure interviews where the interviewer briefly repeats what the child said.

Oates10 suggests that if non offending parents are waiting in another room they
will need a professional for themselves to help them deal with their own
emotions.

! Directly involve non offending parent in the interviews.

Oates10 warns that even truly protective mothers can become very upset during
disclosure interviews. Anxiety, tension and upset in the non offending parent
can induce a false denial in the child. If in doubt about a non offending parents
reaction or if the non offending parent is not the child's "trusted person", it is
safer to not include that person in the interview. When the victim is an
adolescent her/his views on inclusion of the non offending parent must be
considered.

Implications

! Protective workers need to make professional judgements about how their

intervention can be directed to foster and maximise a positive and
supportive relationship between the non offending parent and the child
victim.

! Non offending parents should be involved as early as possible after the

18 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

notification is made, the type and extent of their involvement during initial
investigation may vary given specific case issues.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 19

Assessment Issues
Assessment of a non offending parent is part of the risk assessment of the child and will provide
information on the non offending parents capacity to protect the child and give direction to the
case plan.

In assessing non offending parents protective workers need to remain alert to the fact that:

! the responses of non offending parents to the disclosure of sexual abuse of their
children will be diverse and influenced by a number of factors.

! the effective engagement of a non offending parent will be facilitated by

protective workers understanding the nature of the response and the impact of
the variables which may be operating.

Wattenberg8, in advocating a move away from the much accepted notion of maternal collusion,
states that it is important in assessment to examine the dynamics of each specific family situation
and the role of each family member.

Faller15 outlines the following areas as a useful structure for an assessment of the non offending
parent:

Current Living Situation

This helps the protective worker to assess possible perpetrators, other potential victims,
adequacy of the living situation, how independent the non offending parent is of the
alleged perpetrator and what is the potential of the non offending parent to be
independent of the alleged perpetrator.

Useful Areas To Explore:

Who lives in the house and how are they financially supported?
Who frequently visits or stays?
Childcare/babysitting arrangements.

20 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

Non Offending Parents Education, Employment & Employment History

This helps the protective workers assess overall functioning and ability and whether or
not the non offending parent has the means to support herself financially.

Useful areas to explore:

Current employment status and income security.

Employability - stability of employment, history, skills and training motivation.

Social Support Network

Understanding the non offending parents support system may help in assessing the
background to the sexual abuse, and the roles of those in and associated with the family,
assist in treatment planning and in predicting potential for change within the family.

If a non offending parent has a support system she usually will be better able
emotionally to handle the sexually abusive situation and may be less dependent upon the
perpetrator and more able to seek what is best for herself and her children.

Useful areas to explore:

Nature of current relationships with family members including husbands/partners

family.
Nature of relationships with friends, workmates, neighbours, helping professionals.
Who has been told about the sexual abuse and the nature of their responses?
Who can be turned to if problems are being experienced?
Anyone with whom the non offending parent and children could stay during this crisis.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 21

 Relationship with Partner
(Include history of any previous relationships with partners).

Understanding the nature of the relationship can help in understanding a non offending
parents response to a disclosure of child sexual abuse and why she may tend to side with
and support her partner and disbelieve her child.

The information the non offending parent provides about her current partner, if he is the
alleged perpetrator, may be distorted by her reactions to the sexual abuse. If she has
decided to support her partner she may obscure his faults and lie about material related
to the sexual abuse. If she has decided to align herself with her children she may over
emphasise his negative qualities.

Useful areas to explore include:

How the couple met

Quality and strength of the relationship
Partners relationship with the children
Any use of violence, drugs alcohol
Reason they parted (if applicable)

Non Offending Parents Perception of Their Children.

The non offending parent is generally the consistent caretaker and can provide the most
complete historical information about the child victim and other children in the family.
Asking about the victim's background will help in understanding the child's overall
functioning and perhaps why the victim may be coping with the sexual abuse as she is.

The assessment will also need to examine the parent's perception of, and feelings for the
victim, and the possibility of scapegoating.

22 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

Non Offending Parents History of Substance Use, Mental Illness, or Intellectual
Disability.

Information about any substance abuse, mental illness, or intellectual disability will
assist in understanding the dynamics of the sexual abuse, what intervention will be
appropriate and in determining prognosis for change. This will also assist in
understanding the mother's general functioning and ability to protect the child.

History of Victimisation

A mothers own history of childhood victimisation is relevant in an assessment.

Erooga1 notes that a significant proportion of non offending parents of children sexually
abused within the family have themselves been sexually abused as children. One
common effect of this, Erooga claims, is for the woman to feel immobilised and
powerless in relation to her child(ren) and unable to deal with the child's abuse until she
has had the opportunity to deal with issues about her own abuse.

The Sexual Abuse Disclosure

An assessment needs to indicate whether or not the mother believes the child and how
protective of the child she has been in response to knowledge about the allegations.

Useful areas to explore include:

What the non offending parent believes about the sexual abuse allegations at that point,
especially the child's statement. How she felt when she first learned about the
allegations and what she did in response to them (if applicable). What is the non
offending parent's emotional response - is any anger evidenced? if so at whom is it
directed - child, alleged perpetrator, professionals?

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 23

Assessment of the Need for Protection of the Non Offending Parent From Domestic
Violence

Kieran O'Hagan, cited by Goddard13, stresses the importance of professionals involved in child
sexual abuse cases being aware of the consequences of the intervention and being prepared for
the possibility of the non offending parent and/or the child(ren) being subjected to domestic
violence.

O'Hagan18 alerts professionals to consider whether protection of both the child victim and the
non offending parent may be necessary in certain cases. His concern is based on experiences in
Britain where a number of perpetrators, once their actions have been exposed, have inflicted
violence on other family members. Some cases have resulted in the death of family members
and the perpetrator taking his own life.

Implications

! An assessment of the non offending parent is essential as:

- protective workers need to determine her capacity to protect the
child both immediately and longer term.

- her role in the future protection and rehabilitation of her sexually

abused child can be crucial.

! As non offending parent's responses to the disclosure of child sexual abuse

are diverse the engagement of the non offending parent will be enhanced by
recognising this and responding accordingly.

! Protective workers must remain open minded when assessing the non
offending parent's role in the family and the circumstances associated with
her actions and attitudes. Maintaining stereotyped views of non offending
parents is to be avoided.

! Assessment of the non offending parent needs to explore the possibility of

her own history of victimisation.

! Protective workers need to consider whether the non offending parent

requires protection from domestic violence after disclosure of sexual abuse.

24 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

The Needs of The Non-Offending Parents Following A Disclosure.
Erooga and Masson1 note that the needs of non offending parents of children who have been
sexually abused are often neglected. Following disclosure, the non offending parent needs an
opportunity to deal with her feelings about what has happened and to adjust to the major change
that has taken place, both for her emotional survival and growth and so that she can provide
appropriate parenting for her child.

Erooga and Masson1 highlight the importance of professionals encouraging non offending
parents to work towards meeting their own emotional needs. Many writers (Hewitt3, Winton9)
suggest that group work when complemented by other treatment opportunities, seems a
particularly relevant approach to meeting the needs of these women.

Laing and Kamsler17 remind us of the various problems non offending parents experience at the
time of disclosure and subsequent intervention. Women report feeling excluded and unable to
find ways of talking to their children. It seems to many of them that police or counsellors know
more than they do about their child's feelings and reactions. The guilt and blame many feel can
be torturous. Some are mystified as to why the child did not tell them about the sexual abuse
and wonder if this means the child initiated or enjoyed the sexual contact. Laing and Kamsler
suggest that providing non offending parents with an opportunity to talk about their difficulties
can be very helpful.

Offering non offending parents and children the chance to "debrief" together about the impact
of disclosure enables an exploration about the effects of secrecy on their lives and provides a
way in which they can begin to talk together in a different way, without falling into old patterns
of guilt and blame.

Implications

! A non offending parent should be regarded as a traumatised person or

person in crisis at the time of disclosure with needs of their own.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 25

 ! Providing the non offending parent with an opportunity for support - either
individual counselling and/or group work - is important for the meeting of
her own needs. If a non offending parent is coping more effectively she is
in a better position to provide more effective parenting for her child.

26 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

Conclusion
! The non offending parent plays a significant role in the ongoing protection and
rehabilitation of a child who has been sexually abused.

! Recent literature reflects a move away from old stereotyped views of non offending
parents as "collusive", passive, dependent etc. to portray non offending parents as
heterogenerous with a diverse range of characteristics and responses to the disclosure of
the sexual abuse of their child.

! Professionals need to be aware of personally held views and how they effect interaction
and assessment of a situation, and ensure that old myths and stereotypes are not
perpetuated.

! The perpetrator is responsible for the abuse.

! Assessment of the non offending parent, and all family members must be made on the
basis of the specific characteristics of that family. Assessment needs to focus on the
ability of the non offending parent to protect the child from further abuse.

! Protective intervention must work towards fostering even the most tenuous relationship a
child may have with her/his non offending parent.

! Recognizing the crisis for the non offending parent that results from a disclosure of
sexual abuse and regarding her as a traumatized person may enhance her engagement in
the intervention.

! Viewing the response of a non offending parent as a process may facilitate a non
offending parent moving from initial reactions such as denial and anger, to acceptance
and positive action. This process may take time and may require therapeutic support.

! An open minded approach to the non offending parent should be the basis of protective
intervention in child sexual abuse cases.

Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 27

 BIBLIOGRAPHY
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Australian Social Work, June 1986 Vol. 39, No. 2 - Pages 35-40.

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28 Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993

 Chris Goddard to interview with Kieran O'Hagan. Children Australia, Vol. 15, No. 3,
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14. B. Gomes-Schwartz, J. Horowitz, A. Cardarelli - "Child Sexual Abuse The Initial

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Child Sexual Abuse Feb 1993 29