SATS 2011-Mark Scheme - Caving PDF
SATS 2011-Mark Scheme - Caving PDF
En
English tests
KEY STAGE
2 Mark schemes
Reading, writing and spelling tests
LEVELS
3–5
2011
ISBN 978-1-84962-791-7
Reproduction, storage, adaptation or translation, in any form or by any means, of this publication is
prohibited without prior written permission of the publisher, unless within the terms of licences issued
by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Excerpts may be reproduced for the purpose of research, private
study, criticism or review, or by educational institutions solely for educational purposes, without
permission, provided full acknowledgement is given.
Printed in Great Britain by QCDA under the authority and superintendence of the Controller of Her
Majesty’s Stationery Office and Queen’s Printer of Acts of Parliament.
Contents
Introduction 3
Introduction
As in previous years, the external marking agency, under contract to QCDA, will mark the test
papers. The markers will follow the mark schemes in this booklet, which are provided here to
inform teachers.
This booklet includes the mark schemes for the assessment of reading, writing and spelling. For
ease of reference, the test questions have been reproduced in the mark schemes. Level threshold
tables will be posted on the QCDA website, http://testsandexams.qcda.gov.uk, on 5 July 2011.
Reading 50
Writing 50
Total 100
The mark schemes were devised after trialling the tests with pupils and contain examples of some
frequently occurring correct answers given in the trials. The mark schemes indicate the criteria on
which judgements should be made. In areas of uncertainty however, markers should exercise
professional judgement based on the training they have received.
The same sets of assessment focuses for reading and writing provide information about the
particular processes or skills the pupil needs in order to answer the questions. This information is
provided in order to explain the structure of each mark scheme as well as the way in which it will
be used by external markers. The assessment focuses are drawn from the national curriculum and
are directly related to the National Strategies Primary Framework and the Assessing Pupils’
Progress framework.
The 2011 key stage 2 English tests and mark schemes were produced by the key stage 2 English
team at the National Foundation for Educational Research (NFER) on behalf of QCDA.
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The range of marks available for each question is given under the mark box at the side of
the page in the Reading Answer Booklet.
Incorrect or unacceptable answers are given a mark of 0. No half marks are awarded.
■ short answers
These may be only a word or phrase, and 1 mark may be awarded for each correct response.
■ longer answers
These require a more detailed explanation of the pupil’s opinion, and up to 3 marks may
be awarded.
■ other answers
Some responses do not involve writing and the requirements are explained in the question.
The mark scheme was devised after trialling the tests with pupils and contains examples (these are
shown in italics) of some frequently occurring correct answers given in the trials. Many pupils will,
however, have different ways of wording an acceptable answer. In assessing each answer, markers
must focus on the content of what has been written and not on the quality of the writing,
expression or grammatical construction, etc.
1. use a range of strategies, including accurate decoding of text, to read for meaning
2. understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use
quotation and reference to text
4. identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical
and presentational features at text level
5. explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and literary
features at word and sentence level
6. identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the
text on the reader
7. relate texts to their social, cultural and historical contexts and literary traditions.
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20. Complete the three thought bubbles to show what the writer is thinking
aspect of reading and feeling at three different points in the cave.
assessed by this
question
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).
Accept answers written in the 2nd or 3rd person.
advice to markers
a. Going in
1 mark
criteria for the
award of 1 mark Award 1 mark for answers which provide an appropriate thought / feeling, exclamation or comment
on the writer’s situation.
responses which Do not accept references to sections of text that are not relevant to this particular part of the
may occur quite experience, eg:
frequently but do
● wow, it’s so beautiful in here.
not merit any
marks
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The following table identifies the questions (with marks available) that address each assessment focus (AF):
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BLANK PAGE
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Section 1: Information
Page 4
text pages
an interview 4
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Page 4 (continued)
2. Find and copy the phrase on page 4 that shows that Daveley Dale caves
are very popular.
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.
Award 1 mark for any quotation from the following sentence that includes the word ‘thousands’.
The quotation may be of any length.
■ Every year thousands of people come here to make a once-in-a-lifetime journey, underground.
3. Why is Daveley Dale a good place for young people to learn caving?
1 mark
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference).
● it’s safe
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Page 5
Questions 4, 5 and 7
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.
Question 6
Assessment focus 4: identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including
grammatical and presentational features at text level.
Question 8
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.
6. The information is
in alphabetical in order of
numbered. not in order.
order. size.
8. For example, it tells you that a swallet is a word for a cave formed
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Page 6
worst moment 4
best moment 5
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Page 6 (continued)
10. What does Lisa say is the main difference between caving and climbing
a mountain?
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.
Award 1 mark for answers that refer to the difference between seeing and imagining (this may be
quoted directly from Lisa’s answer to the first question), eg:
● a climber can stand and look up and see the challenge while for a caver, really you have to
imagine it
● a caver has to crouch down and try and picture in their heads what is in front of them, a climber
can stand and see their goal.
● that a climber can stand and look up and see the challenge
● for a caver you have to imagine your challenge.
Do not accept answers which do not make the difference between seeing and imagining clear, eg:
11. How can you tell that Lisa would like her brother to try caving?
1 mark
Assessment focus 5: explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and
literary features at word and sentence level.
Award 1 mark for recognising and/or interpreting the use of the word tempt or copying the relevant
sentence, eg:
● she says she can’t get him to go underground which suggests that she wants him to.
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Page 6 (continued)
Award 1 mark for each valid point made from the categories below, up to a maximum of 2 marks:
● something might go wrong and if someone needs help you can help each other when
in danger
Do not accept reference to reassurance without reference to hearing another voice or to teamwork
without stating advantages, eg:
● so she is reassured
● for reassurance
Do not accept answers which could relate to any non-hazardous activity, eg:
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Page 7
question purpose
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Page 7 (continued)
Award 2 marks for answers which identify one aspect of Lisa’s character.
Appropriate characteristics:
■ adventurous
■ keen on exploration
■ enjoys a challenge
■ determined
■ enthusiastic
For example:
● likes to explore
● was extremely adventurous. Always climbing trees, exploring. Nothing ever scared Lisa
● was keen on exploring. Also she would always love a hard challenge to knuckle down to
● always wanted to beat her brother to the top of the hill and she was determined to win
Award 1 mark for answers which provide a text-based reference to Lisa’s behaviour which exemplifies
an appropriate characteristic, eg:
● was always racing ahead and always trying to get to the top of the hill.
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Page 8
■ Giant’s Hole.
16a. Underline the sentence that shows that the writer feels very small in
the cave.
1 mark
Assessment focus 5: explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and
literary features at word and sentence level.
Also award 1 mark for underlining a significant part of the sentence, eg:
● rock / limestone
Do not accept:
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Page 8 (continued)
■ colossal (rock)
Do not accept:
■ fairly.
Do not accept:
■ fairly solid.
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Page 8 (continued)
16e. Why does the writer include so many numbers in this paragraph?
1 mark
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.
Award 1 mark for reference to the writer’s emphasis on the extreme dimensions of himself or his
surroundings, eg:
● because he is telling us how big everything is and he is explaining how big the rocks were
● to let you imagine how big the rock is.
Also award 1 mark for answers referring to helping the reader visualise the overall impression, eg:
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Page 9
Award 1 mark for reference to his attempt to involve the reader in visualising the scene or empathising
with the writer, eg:
Do not accept undeveloped responses which may refer to and attempt to explain the term
‘imagine’, eg:
mobile
headlamp ✓ hat
phone
wellies ✓
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Page 9 (continued)
Award 1 mark for answers relating to the author demonstrating his control of fear, for the benefit of
others (may be implicit), eg:
● so he sounds in control.
Do not accept references to the author needing to keep himself calm, eg:
● because he is scared.
Award 1 mark for answers referring to the fact that they are no longer stuck in the crevice / they appear
to be out of trouble / safe or that Duncan has moved, eg:
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Page 10
20. Complete the three thought bubbles to show what the writer is thinking
and feeling at three different points in the cave.
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).
Accept answers written in the 2nd or 3rd person.
20a. Going in
1 mark
Award 1 mark for answers which provide an appropriate thought / feeling, exclamation or comment
on the writer’s situation.
■ apprehension / nervousness
■ anticipation
■ excitement.
Examples:
● scared of what lies inside the cave for him and the dangers
● it’s so dark!
● wow, I can’t wait.
Also award 1 mark for the following quotation from the text:
Do not accept references to sections of text that are not relevant to this particular part of the
experience, eg:
continued…
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Page 10 (continued)
Award 1 mark for answers which provide an appropriate thought / feeling, exclamation or comment
on the writer’s situation.
■ fear
■ threat
■ danger
■ regret / concern.
Examples:
Also award 1 mark for either of the following quotations from the text:
Do not accept references to sections of text that are not relevant to this particular part of the
experience, eg:
continued…
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Page 10 (continued)
Award 1 mark for answers which provide an appropriate thought / feeling, exclamation or comment
on the writer’s situation.
■ relief
■ exhilaration
■ delight
■ achievement
■ reflection on experience.
Examples:
● phew, I’m alive. I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong and I made it through
● happy and thinking it wasn’t that bad at all, except when I was stuck.
Also award 1 mark for either of the following quotations from the text:
Do not accept references to sections of text that are not relevant to this particular part of the
experience, eg:
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Page 11
21. Explain what makes the writer feel scared. Use what you have read in the
whole article.
Think about:
● what the writer is doing
● what he thinks might happen.
up to 3 marks
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).
Possible points include fear of any of the following which may or may not result in injury or death:
■ being lost
■ the dark
■ absence of an instructor.
Award 3 marks for answers which refer to three of the possible points or which refer to two points and
develop at least one, eg:
● he thinks that he might get stuck and trapped. He is in a place he knows nothing about and he
feels small [fear of being trapped; fear of the unknown; his smallness]
● firstly, Duncan hasn't moved in a long time. Secondly, he thinks he's going to suffocate in the
tunnel and never see light again. Finally, he thought they were lost and the water was trickling
in and was going to drown them [fear of being trapped; suffocation; being lost]
● when Andy the instructor left them alone and directed them Stephen thought that they had gone
the wrong way which made him panic. When Stephen could not hear Duncan it made him
worried as he didn't know what had happened to him [absence of an instructor; being lost; fear
of the unknown]
● what made the writer feel scared was that he felt like he was suffocating and that the tunnels
were getting smaller as they went on. He is very scared that the cave could collapse on him.
[suffocation + development; possibility of rock fall].
continued…
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Page 11 (continued)
Award 2 marks for answers which refer to two different points or cover one point in full, eg:
● when he thought Duncan was stuck and when he thought he was suffocating [fear of being
trapped; suffocation]
● he thinks he might be suffocated if the cave falls on him because he is lying flat on his back
[suffocation; possibility of rock fall]
● Duncan looks stuck and they don’t know how long the tunnel is [fear of being trapped; fear of
the unknown]
● he is scared because he is in a tunnel which is very narrow and he can’t breathe which makes
him panic. [narrowness + development].
Award 1 mark for an answer that presents one point without development, eg:
● he’s lost and doesn’t know the way out [being lost]
● the writer might think rocks will fall on them and might very badly injure one of them. The writer
probably is panicking but he is just not showing it [possibility of rock fall]
● because he is crawling through small spaces [narrowness]
● because it was so dark [the dark].
Also award 1 mark for fear of death or serious injury without explanation (not credited in combination
with other creditworthy points), eg:
● the cave might gush with water and he’s doing something quite scary.
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Page 11 (continued)
22. Look at the text on page 10, starting from And I was struck by the beauty …
to the end of the article.
Explain the writer’s thoughts and feelings.
up to 3 marks
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).
Award 1 mark for reference to each of the key points listed below, up to a maximum of 3 marks.
■ feeling of relief (because he was safe) ■ after being underground for some time
● he thought Wow I am so pleased I struggled to reach an amazing sight like this! He feels
overwhelmed, excited and would love to do it again! [recognition of the beauty underground;
feeling of achievement; expectation that he would return]
● this is amazing, this is fantastic. I can’t believe I made it here, it seems like everything is
covered in candle wax [recognition of the beauty underground + text-based development;
feeling of achievement]
● because he was relieved that the scary part was over he started to realise the beauty and
wonder of the cave and he felt much better [feeling of relief + text-based development;
recognition of beauty underground].
continued…
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Page 11 (continued)
● he was amazed by the beauty of the caves and when he emerged he was exhilarated
[recognition of the beauty underground; exhilaration]
● he was amazed at the beauty of the caves. The fronds were as big as his hands and they were
made of coral [recognition of the beauty underground + text-based development]
● Wow this place is amazing and beautiful. I’m really enjoying this. I ought to do this again
sometime. [recognition of the beauty underground; expectation that he would return].
● surprised in a good way, happy and inspired to do more caving [expectation that he would
return]
● by the end he thought about what he had achieved and he was happy with himself [feeling of
achievement]
● I am going to be OK because I am with Andy and thank goodness, I thought I might never get
out [feeling of relief].
Do not accept direct quotation from this section of text without any explanation or expansion.
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Page 12
■ £25
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Page 12 (continued)
Award 2 marks for answers which explain that the quotations function as a recommendation from
other people, eg:
Award 1 mark for reference to the quotations encouraging more people to visit or to being convincing or
giving a positive general impression, eg:
Do not accept responses which are based closely on the question, eg:
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Page 13
C
E
D
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BLANK PAGE
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Page 14
27. Sentences have been left out of each of the texts you have read.
Draw lines to match each sentence to the text you think it came from.
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).
Creeping forward is
Need to know
agony.
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Page 14 (continued)
■ slither.
Also accept:
Also accept:
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Page 15
29a. Which text do you think might encourage someone to visit a cave?
Tick one.
Explain your choice.
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.
Award 2 marks for reference to an appropriate and positive feature of a text that is specific to that text
only, eg:
● it tells you how fun and dangerous it can be at the same time not like the article that is just
danger (interview)
● it talks about going to places that no one has been to before (interview)
● it gives information about the geology and what you could see (article)
● it tells you everything you can do and when it’s open and the prices, because you want to feel
the excitement like the quotations did (advertisement)
● it has positive language, nothing negative, and it makes you want to be there (advertisement)
● it says it costs £25 for a family and that is cheap for a whole day out (advertisement).
Award 1 mark for reference to an appropriate and positive feature of a text that could apply to more than
one text, eg:
Do not accept answers which simply refer to the persuasive purpose of the advertisement or simply
refer to the cost stated in the advertisement without further explanation or which paraphrase the
question.
continued…
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Page 15 (continued)
29b. Which text do you think might put someone off visiting a cave?
Tick one.
Explain your choice.
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.
Award 2 marks for reference to an appropriate feature of a text that is specific to that text only, eg:
● because the fast flood comes and you could drown (interview)
● it shows it can be dangerous underground. They got stuck in the cave (article)
Award 1 mark for reference to an appropriate feature of a text that could apply to more than one text, eg:
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BLANK PAGE
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There are two mark schemes, one for the longer task Record Breaker (pages 40–43); the other for
the shorter task Charity Choice (pages 58–59).
3. organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas
and events
6. write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences
7. select appropriate and effective vocabulary (this is not assessed separately, but contributes to
text structure and organisation and composition and effect)
Assessment focuses
■ sentence structure and – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect
punctuation – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation
in phrases, clauses and sentences.
■ text structure and – organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing
organisation and structuring information, ideas and events
– construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and
between paragraphs.
Handwriting is assessed in the longer task. The marking criteria are shown in section F on page 43.
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Assessment focuses
The criteria encourage positive recognition of achievement in writing. Pupils do not necessarily
develop uniformly across these categories, and the strands allow separate judgements to be made
about the relative strengths and weaknesses of a pupil’s work.
Marking procedures
The criteria for each strand identify typical characteristics of pupils’ work in different bands. When
marking, it is helpful first to identify which bands are most relevant to the writing and then refine
the judgement to a mark within a band. Criteria from lower bands that are also applicable to
higher bands should be seen as relevant to higher band descriptors. For example, the criterion
Sentences are mostly grammatically sound appears in Band A3. However, grammatical soundness
should also be taken to be an underlying feature of performance at Band A4 and Band A5, even
though it is not explicitly stated at these bands.
Where organisational devices are used to structure a piece of writing (eg firstly, secondly, finally;
furthermore; consequently), credit should be given for evidence of effective and appropriate use.
However, indiscriminate use of such devices (ie where the devices are not integrated meaningfully
into the writing) should not be regarded as a positive feature of performance.
The annotations on the example scripts show how to look for features in the writing, and the
summary boxes show how to weigh these features to reach a mark.
Where the writing clearly does not meet the criteria for Band 1, a mark of 0 should be awarded.
Pupils will be expected to follow the prompt very carefully, especially in content and form. Pupils
whose writing is unrelated to the prompt will not be credited with any marks for composition and
effect. Those pupils who do not maintain the form throughout the piece, for example a non-fiction
piece becoming narrative, will not have access to the full range of marks for composition and
effect.
A set of annotated scripts, written by year 6 pupils during the English pre-tests, is presented
here to support judgements of the writing. Scripts are reproduced without corrections
to spelling.
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The prompt requires pupils to imagine that three local children have broken world records,
and the task is to write a report for the local newspaper about one such record-breaking event.
Ideas for content are given in the form of basic information about the three children’s records;
however, the prompt makes it clear that the final choice is left to the writer’s imagination.
Support for the development of content and the organisation of the newspaper report is
supplied on the planning page; the pupil answer pages suggest newspaper presentation with a
headline and image of a trophy. Better performances are distinguished by effective adaptation
of content and structure to engage the newspaper’s readership and generate interest in the
situation surrounding the record-breaking event.
Record Breaker
Three children living in your local area have recently broken world
records in their age group:
You can use one of these ideas, or you can make up your own.
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Band A1 ● Clauses usually grammatically accurate. Some simple sentences, often brief, starting with a subject +
verb (Sam went). Clauses mostly joined with and, but, then, so.
Band A2 ● Subjects and verbs often simple and frequently repeated (he, it, goes, plays). Simple connectives and,
but, then, so, when link clauses. Some sentence variation created, eg simple adverbials (at the sports
centre, Today). Noun phrases mostly simple (the judges) with some limited expansion (a young boy).
● Full stops, capital letters, exclamation marks and question marks mostly accurate; commas used in lists.
2 –3 marks
Band A3 ● Sentences are mostly grammatically sound. Some variety in subordinating connectives: because, if
(because he wanted it for ages). Adverbials (when it was raining), modal verbs (could, would) and
expanded noun phrases (the community centre in the middle of town) add variety. Tense choice
generally appropriate. Some variation of subjects (Her friends, the money). Some adverbs, eg to
indicate writer’s attitude towards the situation (Luckily, happily).
● Most sentences correctly demarcated; some commas mark phrases or clauses. If used, inverted commas
demarcate the beginning and end of direct speech, correctly on most occasions.
4 –5 marks
Band A4 ● Simple and complex sentences with some variety of connectives, eg while, although, until. Expansion
of phrases and clauses adds detail (the people who were waiting on the beach). Range of verb forms
develops meaning and maintains appropriate tense choice (had been able to). Additional words and
phrases contribute to shades of meaning, eg adverbs (particularly).
● Range of punctuation used, almost always correctly, eg brackets, dashes, colons. Full punctuation of
direct speech, if used.
6 –7 marks
Band A5 ● Length and focus of sentences varied to express subtleties in meaning and to focus on key ideas, eg
passive (will be rewarded). Sentences may include controlled use of several subordinate clauses
(playing with the team that’s sure to win the next championship) sometimes for economy of
expression. Word order to create emphasis (As interesting as this is).
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Band B1 ● Ideas grouped into sequences of sentences; may follow a simple chronology. Use of third person may
not be consistent. Beginning or end may be marked by simple narrative phrases (One day).
● Simple connectives used (and, and then). Some connection between sentences, eg pronouns referring to
the same person or thing.
1 mark
Band B2 ● Text structure overall is simple: some events organised into a basic sequence; brief introduction or
ending. Some divisions between events indicated (Next, On Saturday).
● Connections are built up by reference to events or people (Ben / he). Other relationships within and
between sentences may be used, eg contrast (but they cost a lot of money).
2 –3 marks
Band B3 ● The newspaper report is organised: paragraphs or sections are logically sequenced, although
transitions may be awkward. Shifts in time and place help shape the text and guide the reader, eg by
introducing a new section (His next record will be).
● Within paragraphs or sections, content may be developed around a main sentence. Paragraphs or
sections organised to expand a particular event or topic, eg comments from friends. Connections
within paragraphs or sections maintained, eg through ongoing references (Sarah / her sister).
4 –5 marks
Band B4 ● Overall organisation of the newspaper report is supported by paragraphs or sections which enable
coherent development and control of content across the text. Relationships between paragraphs or
sections give structure to the whole text, eg links make structure between topics clear.
● Within paragraphs or sections, main ideas are developed with relevant detail or examples, eg a
paragraph gives detail about a significant event. Reference to people / events / settings sometimes
varied to avoid repetition (the 8 year old / the youngster).
6 –7 marks
Band B5 ● Sequencing of paragraphs or sections contributes to overall effectiveness. The structure of the
newspaper report is controlled across the text. Chronology may be interrupted for effect, eg inclusion
of comments, or quotations from the record breaker or record breaker’s family. Individual paragraphs
or sections are varied in length and structure.
● Each paragraph or section has a clear focus, and content is organised. Connection between ideas
developed, eg by reference or contrast within the paragraph (Although everyone told her to stop).
8 marks
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Band C1 ● A simple recount based on the prompt; conventional narrative form may be evident.
Band C2 ● Form is a simple report; coverage may be unbalanced. Some detail or description of events; some
explanation (took place in Manchester). May contain elements / features of a spoken news report.
● Writing shows evidence of viewpoint: the account suggests some attitude, eg positive reaction to the
record breaker (the class were happy, it was great).
● Word choice often general (other boys) with some detail (five hours and 45 minutes). Level of
formality may be inconsistent.
3 –5 marks
Band C3 ● The form of a newspaper report is maintained: balance between report of events and comments.
Content developed to engage reader, eg through quotations or reported comments about the record
breaker (“We always knew she was a brilliant swimmer!”).
● Viewpoint is established and maintained, eg the record breaker depicted as unusually talented
(shocked at how long she did it for).
● Some straightforward stylistic features used to support purpose, eg informative word choice
(certificate, measured), description of feelings (proud, thrilled).
6 –8 marks
Band C4 ● Content adapted, eg important events told through the record breaker’s own words (when the buzzer
went my heart was thumping), appeals to the newspaper’s readers (Be sure to pick up the next issue).
● Viewpoint is established and controlled, eg the reporter appears well informed (represent England,
Ali’s mother Julie).
● Some stylistic features add emphasis and interest, eg precise language (beaten the previous record by
five), emotive vocabulary for effect (staggering, applause thundered).
9 –11 marks
Band C5 ● Choice and placing of content is informed by purpose, eg writer prioritises significant comments and
information.
● Viewpoint well controlled, eg reporter’s portrayal of events encourages reader to interpret the news
events in a particular way (One disgruntled resident said).
● A range of stylistic features, eg concise newspaper style phrasing (John’s Dad, father of three, a
lifetime player himself from Pinner), patterning, figurative language.
12 marks
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SECTION F HANDWRITING
All pupils need to develop a serviceable handwriting style which is legible, clear and encourages the reader
to engage with what has been written.
This assessment of handwriting is based on pupils’ ability to write legibly and fluently in a sustained piece
of writing.
Judgements will be made on the basis of the legibility and clarity of the handwriting throughout the longer
task, supported by a closer look at the size and position of words and letters.
Band F1 The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing.
However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven.
1 mark
Band F2 Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are usually
appropriate in size and position but there is some variation.
2 marks
Band F3 The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed.
The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader.
3 marks
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noun phrases with The trampolin record has been breaken ones again. brief introduction (B2)
limited expansion kelly gordon has done it. She is the world record.
(A2)
Outsanding time is 4 days no stoping. unclear pronoun
It all happened in there back Garden reference limits build up
of connections
on the 5th march 2009 . (below B2)
simple adverbials
(A2) Her sister Chloe Gordon was there
in the back garden timeing her for 4 days.
weaknesses in clause
construction Kelly Gordon doing all back flips and more. some divisions indicated
(below A2) (B2)
She was on fire. Flips and kicks all 4 days how did she
sentence do it?
demarcation (A2)
repeated subject
(A2)
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simple adverbials As soon as the wistle blew all 20 compediters set off like
(A2) the wind. As the mins got by most of the racers started
to give up as none of them could never catch up with
sam...
connection built up
repeated subject within and between
Doing 10 mins per 100m the crowed was shocked with sentences (B2)
(A2)
excitment!!! A shocking attempt made by one of the
other racers tried to knock young sam over, luckly
sam was going too fast for him...!
simple noun phrases sam eventuly met the finish line! the crowed was
(A2) amazed for Sam had bet the record for doing 500m in
just 50 min! I cant believe I bet the world record for
500m in 50 min! Sam replied looking very tired. Whilst
carrying the shiny, golden trophy home the crowd
comma in a list (A2)
looked gobsmacked! (What an amazing, breathtaking attempt at ending (B2)
race)!
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The use of expanded An attitude of admiration towards the record breaker is maintained Overall organisation of
noun phrases, (speechles, so proud) (C3). ideas with an
subordination and introduction, grouping of
adverbials suggests an Some vocabulary choices support newspaper form and create content and a conclusion
award in Band A3. interest (Smashed, blew away, estatic) (C3). suggests award in Band
Evidence of mostly secure B3. However, limited use
sentence demarcation and Summary of reference and some
correct comma usage missed opportunities to
confirm Band A3; This account of a marble collecting record, though brief, maintains expand relevant topics
inclusion of inverted the form of a newspaper report, holds a consistent point of view and within sections keep the
commas to demarcate the includes some carefully chosen vocabulary. Despite limited mark to the lower in the
direct speech would be development of content, there is just enough evidence, overall, to band.
necessary for the higher merit award of the lowest mark in Band C3.
mark in the band.
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AS FAST AS A CHEATER
secure sentence
demarcation (A3)
Ben Wilson is now the fastest 12 year old boy on the planet
to run the 100m sprint. He aced it at Tadcater with a
amazing time of 12 seconds. It was only a village race that
gave Ben his dream to become the next Usane Bolt.
Everyone in the village was amazed at Bens time, Mr
Mitchell quoted “it was just amence, he shot down that track paragraph development:
expanded noun
like a bullet”. expansion through
phrases (A3) comment (B3)
Bens name has been entered into next years guinnis world
record book . He has also been scouted for the young
British Olimpic squad where he will train three times a week.
Bens coach quoted “ this boy has real pertential and will go
adverbials (A3) a long way, in a few years he might even be chosen for the
Olimpics”.
connections within the
This is a great achievement for Ben, he says he will always paragraph maintained
remember the 11th of July was when his dream came true. (B3)
inverted commas Ben quoted “ this is the best thing that has ever happened
(A3) to me ” .
The race that Ben took part in (in Tadcater) will still go on logical overall
every year. Bens success has influenced people all over the sequencing (B3):
world to start running and although Bens time was fast , one shift to future events
day someone might just smash his record.
subordination (A3)
It has to be said that Ben Wilson is as fast as a cheater
hunting its prey!
Reported by Emily Jones
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simple sentences 12 year old, Ali has broken the record for talking non-stop! The previous
(A4) record was 24 hours however, Ali made that time look easy! 44 hours, was
the time she kept talking for.
It first started on Thursday 13th September 2010. Ali told us that she woke
up that morning and thought to herself “I want to do something amazing”. paragraph development:
range of After a lot of thought ( and looking through World Record Books) she main ideas elaborated
punctuation (A4): eventually found non-stop talking. Originally; the record was held by Rachel with detail (B4)
brackets
Parsons who was also 12 years old .
omission apostrophe
Ali started at 12:00pm that same day and her parents were very supportive
however, told us that they didn ’t think she ’d really be able to achieve it.
expansion adds At all times someone from ‘Record Breaker’ had to be with Ali.
detail (A4) Jennie Cook was this person. We talked to Jennie, and this is what she said.
varied references (B4)
“It was hard work following Ali everywhere however, I really enjoyed it
shades of meaning because , some of the time she would talk about such random things!
through additional
words (A4) Poor Ali had to go to school while she was breaking the record. As well as
this she had to go to dance! Worst of all, she couldn’t sleep for one moment links between sections
complex verb forms because she couldn’t stop talking for any one time! make structure clear
(A4) (B4)
Here at ‘Buckston Weekly’ we talked to some of her friends and family. Some
were very supportive; some found it annoying however, all of them agreed
varied connectives that Ali deserves the recognition.
(A4)
For her achievement Ali was rewarded with a golden trophy; certificate and of
course a place in the latest ‘Record Breaker’ book. She also, didn’t realise
complex sentences that while she was doing it she was raising money. Overall, she raised £216
(A4) which she decided would all go to her favourite charity. underdeveloped section
(below B4) and brief
An interview took place with Ali herself, and here is what she said.
conclusion (below B4)
range of “ I’m so proud of what I have achieved and hopefully I have inspired a lot of
punctuation (A4): people to try something different. ”
inverted commas
In conclusion , everyone is very pleased for Ali and is glad she achieved her
comma
goal!
Sentence variation, in the The viewpoint of the writer is well informed (The previous record The use of varied
form of simple and was…, Originally; the record was held by…) (C4). references and the links
complex sentences, between sections to
additional words, Some emotive language (Poor Ali, inspired ) (C4); other word structure the text suggest
expansion and complex choice is repetitive (achievement, achieved, very supportive). award in Band B4.
verb forms suggests Despite the development
award in Band A4. Summary of main ideas within
Although there are some some paragraphs,
inaccuracies, a range of This piece provides a thorough and informative report of Ali’s record weaknesses in the
punctuation is used breaking achievement of non-stop talking. The presentation of development of other
correctly which confirms relevant first-hand comments from different sources supports the paragraphs limit the
the award of the higher approach and engages the reader, justifying award in Band C4. Less mark to the lower in the
mark in the band. repetitive use of vocabulary would be necessary for the highest mark band.
in the band.
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Yesterday, Guiness World Records made a Local 10 year old a record breaker.
The record, Continuous Trampolining, stood at 2 days, 3 hours and 23 minutes
– a terific feat achived by 2004 Hurdles olympic gold medal winner, Iva
range of Winningstreak was 18 years of age at the time of her record breaking bouncing
punctuation (A5): spree.
dash
Morgan Jump, the local child who beat the record, was still trampolining when
commas to mark
our reporter got there. Beads of sweat trickling down his forhead , he looked
phrases
more determined than anyone that our reporter had ever seen before. He was a contrast within
omission
member of his village (Balahanna) trampolining and athletics club but, paragraph supports focus
apostrophes
apparently, had never bounced non-stop for anywhere near as long , although (B5)
he had the local record at 2 hours and 32 minutes.
Our other reporter, James Cooper , travelled to Winton, the home of the ex-
record holder, Iva Winningstreak, to find her glaring at the TV Screen. Now 21,
she thinks she could beat this “little lucky kid” easily. On the TV she was glaring chronology interrupted
focus of sentence at, was live footage from Morgan’s house. “ I ’ ve searched all of the channels on for effect (B5): inclusion
varied for emphasis my <digi-box>,” she told our guy at her house angrily, “But I still cannot find of Iva’s reaction
(A5) any channels which don ’ t have that irritating kid on it except for <channel 1> and
<channel 2>. I didn’t get a response to my record anything like that!”
When our reporter kindly explained that it was because he was so young, Iva
turned red and glared at him, so he hurriedly thanked her for her time and
range of punctuation exited swiftly.
(A5): varied paragraph length
Meanwhile, back at Morgan ’s house, In his backyard to be exact, 4 days, 22
speech marks and structure (B5)
hours and 7 minutes in his record breaking bounce, he exhaustedly threw in the
possessive
towel to meet a huge round of applause. While Medics made sure he wasn’t
apostrophes suffering from dehydration ( he had been eating energy food and drinking <a
brackets sports drink>), We interviewed his mother. She told us that it had all started
when he wouldn’t come in for supper and he had refused to stop bouncing.
When he explained to his mum that he was going for the World record, she
didn’t believe him and told him not to be silly, but after 8 hours
controlled use of
of bouncing without even breaking sweat, she started to believe him.
several subordinate
clauses (A5) We would have interviewed him, but after almost 5 days with no sleep, we structure controlled
decided to let him rest in peace. across text (B5): return
So instead, we interviewed the Guiness world record representative at his to Morgan’s story
word order to create home. He was flabbergasted by this ‘Trampolining Triumph’ and told our
emphasis (A5) newspaper that: “ What this young man did in the past few days was an
incredible feat of endurance. The fact that this was achived by a ten year old is
beyond belief, but true!”
sentence variation So there you are then: The impossible proved possible by a ten year old.
(A5): short sentence Will anybody beat him ??
for effect Next week, keep reading for the NTA’s (National trampolining association)
paragraph focus (B5):
reaction to this epic Record as well as interviewing Morgan Jump. Remember,
reference to next issue
this story is exclusive to us!
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Handwriting examples
The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing.
However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven.
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The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing.
However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven.
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Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are
usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation.
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Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are
usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation.
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The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed.
The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader.
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The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed.
The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader.
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BLANK PAGE
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In this prompt, pupils are asked to imagine that their teacher has asked them to help decide on
a class charity. The task is to write a speech with the purpose of persuading classmates to
support their choice. Three illustrated charity options are presented, but it is clear that pupils
are free to decide on their own selection. The planning space helps with decision making and
encourages the writer to think about how to persuade their class. Better performances are
distinguished by the use of carefully constructed sentences, precise vocabulary and a convincing
viewpoint within a style of address that effectively persuades the classmates to share the
concerns and convictions of the speech-maker.
Charity Choice
Imagine that your class is going to collect some money to give to
charity. Your teacher wants the class to decide which charity to
support.
It could be:
A charity to help A charity to buy
endangered animals books for children in
other countries
A charity to help
the local children’s club Your own idea
PLANNING
My choice of charity is
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Band D1 ● Clauses usually grammatically accurate, mostly joined with and, then, so. Some simple sentences, often
a brief sequence starting with subject + verb (We need). Some connections between sentences,
eg pronouns (The animals / they).
● Sentences sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops.
1 mark
Band D2 ● Simple connectives and, but, or, so, when link clauses. Subjects and verbs frequently repeated (It is).
Noun phrases mostly simple (the forest) with simple expansion (the new buildings). Some sentences
expanded with simple adverbials (now, at school). Connections between sentences built up (no more of
them).
● Full stops, capital letters, exclamation marks and question marks mostly accurate; commas used in lists.
2 marks
Band D3 ● Sentences are mostly grammatically sound. Some subordination, eg because, if (if we give our money).
Adverbials (when we decide) and expanded noun phrases (the first charity on the scene) vary
construction of sentences. Varied modals (could, might, would). Tense choice is generally consistent
and appropriate. Some variation in subjects (the panda, bamboo, their babies). Ideas developed within
sections. Connections between ideas maintained through ongoing reference (another example).
● Most sentences correctly demarcated; some commas mark phrases or clauses.
3 marks
Band D4 ● Simple and complex sentences with varied connectives, eg which, until, although (a mosquito net
which costs about £15). Expanded phrases and clauses express ideas economically (who don’t have
access to books or a proper education). Main ideas supported by organisation of sentences and/or
sections of text (I hope this has made you think).
● Range of punctuation used, almost always correctly, eg brackets, dashes, colons.
4 marks
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Band E1 ● A short series of observations or comments about the selected charity, or a list of its attributes.
● Detail sometimes included, eg simple description (no food to eat).
1 mark
Band E2 ● An informative account; content may include brief coverage of several aspects (cutting down trees,
better jobs). Some features may be listed and/or repetitive. Some simple appeal (please help).
● Writing shows evidence of viewpoint, eg evaluative comment (really good).
● Some vocabulary describes selected charity (active, special) although other references are general
(some money, their things).
2–3 marks
Band E3 ● Coverage is balanced, eg includes several aspects relating to the charity with development / examples
(pencils for children who want to draw). Detail supports informative and/or persuasive purpose (honey
bees, collecting small bits of cloth).
● Viewpoint established and maintained, eg the writer’s positive attitude to selected charity is evident
(help them live a normal life).
● Some straightforward stylistic features used to support purpose, eg description (speeding cars, dirty
and muddy).
4–5 marks
Band E4 ● Adaptation for reader, eg direct appeal (you could save; you know how they feel). Thorough coverage.
● Viewpoint established and controlled, eg suggests writer’s knowledge of and confidence in selected
charity (not many are mating, provide a clean water supply).
● Some stylistic features add emphasis and interest, eg emotive appeal (vandalising, dehydrated),
informative vocabulary (remote, predators) and rhetorical questions.
6–7 marks
Band E5 ● Reader and purpose inform choice and placing of content, eg phrase for persuasive impact placed for
final appeal (What would it be like with no club?).
● Viewpoint well controlled and convincing, eg selection of detail to encourage reader to support the
chosen charity (One species of tiger has only 36 left in the world).
● A range of stylistic features, eg patterning (millions died, thousands injured, a few survivors), word
play, alliteration.
8 marks
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noun phrases with and heltly not old and dieing so join in the charity and
simple expansion help rase inuf to help the endengered speches . Thank
(D2) sentence demarcation
you for listening to my speech.
(D2)
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simple noun phrases I think that our class should raise money for sports for
(D2) accurate sentence
the nation. Because the money that we raise, can
demarcation (D2)
help Other people and our school !
noun phrases with Sports for the nation gets people of all ages to
simple expansion become more active and healthy! They provide
(D2)
everywhere around England whith sports equipment connection built up
between sentences (D2)
simple adverbial and tips to help you keep active.
(D2)
so that ’s why I think our class should sponser sports
for the nation. To keep England healthy and active!
Summary Writer’s viewpoint apparent (can help Other people and our school)
(E2).
Use of noun phrases,
some with expansion, and Some word choice is general (money, people) (E2); some attempts to
a simple adverbial suggest use formal language (provide, equipment, sponser) (above E2).
award in Band D2.
Connections between
sentences and evidence of Summary
mostly accurate sentence
demarcation confirm In this straightforward speech about a sports charity, the writer offers
award in the band. a brief description of the charity’s good work. Together with some
careful word choices, this gives sufficient evidence for the higher mark
in Band E2.
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Summary Positive point of view established (like to make a change) (E3); focus
of charity unclear (books, blanket) (below E3).
Sentence variety, in the
form of subordination, Repetition supports persuasion (nothing, abosolutly nothing, who
expanded noun phrases, have nothing); pronouns for address to class (we, our) (E3).
adverbials and varied
modals, gives evidence for
Band D3. The mark is
confirmed by the Summary
maintenance of connection
and development within This charity appeal seeks to persuade the class through content to
sections of the text, interest. The use of some straightforward stylistic features is suited to
together with mostly the form of a speech. A more consistent focus on the charity’s
accurate sentence purpose, to maintain viewpoint, would be necessary for the higher
demarcation. mark in the band.
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Use of subordination, The writer’s enthusiasm for the youth club is maintained (a fun
expanded noun phrases place, great cause) (E3).
and adverbials, together
with varied subjects and Conversational language choices support persuasive purpose
modal verbs indicates (a chat, a bit fed up, chill out) (E3).
award in Band D3.
Secure demarcation, with Summary
the use of a comma to
mark a clause, and some Coverage of the advantages gained by selecting the youth club charity
development of ideas and offers persuasion and results in a balanced speech. These
references linking features, together with a sustained viewpoint and informal word
through the text confirm choices to interest the class, justify the award of the higher mark in
the mark. Band E3.
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Evidence of varied The writer is knowledgeable (no-one has found a cure for it);
connectives, economical admiration for the charity (outstanding) is evident (E4).
expression and complex
sentences, together with a Stylistic choices for emotive appeal (grief and hardship, joyous);
simple sentence for effect vocabulary supports confident address (easily good enough, I
suggest award in Band believe, contemplate) (E4).
D4. The range of
punctuation marks used Summary
to clarify meaning, and
organisation of ideas in The content of this charity speech is adapted by the writer’s selection
the text confirm the of a particular theme, informative explanation and clear expression of
award of the top mark. strongly-held feelings. These features combine to persuasive effect,
giving the impression of purposeful spoken delivery and meriting the
higher mark in Band E4.
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■ if more than one attempt is made, it must be clear which version the pupil wishes to be
marked
■ if a word has been written with the correct sequence of letters but these have been separated
into clearly divided components, with or without a dash, the mark is not awarded
■ if a word has been written with the correct sequence of letters but an apostophe or hyphen
has been inserted, the mark is not awarded.
The words omitted from the pupils’ spelling test are those printed in bold in the version below.
Boomerangs
The dimensions of boomerangs depend
on where they come from and their function .
2 3
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Scoring spelling
Markers will record the total number of words spelt correctly, out of 20, in the box on the cover
of the shorter writing task and spelling test booklet.
The conversion of the spelling test mark, from out of 20 words to out of 7 marks, will be done
automatically when the total score out of 20 is entered into the online mark system.
If the spelling test is being marked without the use of the online mark system the spelling mark,
out of 20, has to be converted to a mark out of 7, using the conversion table below.
Number of Spelling
correct words test mark
0 0
1– 3 1
4–6 2
7– 9 3
10 –12 4
13 –15 5
16 –18 6
19 – 20 7
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