0% found this document useful (0 votes)
1K views72 pages

SATS 2011-Mark Scheme - Caving PDF

Uploaded by

cassmtf393
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
0% found this document useful (0 votes)
1K views72 pages

SATS 2011-Mark Scheme - Caving PDF

Uploaded by

cassmtf393
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 72

2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.

qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page ofc1

En
English tests
KEY STAGE

2 Mark schemes
Reading, writing and spelling tests
LEVELS

3–5
2011

National curriculum assessments


2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page ifc2

QCDA wishes to make its publications widely accessible.


Please contact us if you have any specific accessibility requirements.

First published in 2011

© Qualifications and Curriculum Development Agency 2011

ISBN 978-1-84962-791-7

Reproduction, storage, adaptation or translation, in any form or by any means, of this publication is
prohibited without prior written permission of the publisher, unless within the terms of licences issued
by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Excerpts may be reproduced for the purpose of research, private
study, criticism or review, or by educational institutions solely for educational purposes, without
permission, provided full acknowledgement is given.

Printed in Great Britain by QCDA under the authority and superintendence of the Controller of Her
Majesty’s Stationery Office and Queen’s Printer of Acts of Parliament.

Qualifications and Curriculum Development Agency


53–55 Butts Road
Earsldon Park
Coventry
CV1 3BH
www.qcda.gov.uk
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 1

Contents

Introduction 3

The reading test 4

The writing test 37

The spelling test 66


2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 2
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 3

Introduction

As in previous years, the external marking agency, under contract to QCDA, will mark the test
papers. The markers will follow the mark schemes in this booklet, which are provided here to
inform teachers.

This booklet includes the mark schemes for the assessment of reading, writing and spelling. For
ease of reference, the test questions have been reproduced in the mark schemes. Level threshold
tables will be posted on the QCDA website, http://testsandexams.qcda.gov.uk, on 5 July 2011.

The marks in the tests are allocated as follows:

Reading 50

Writing 50

Longer task (including handwriting) 31


Shorter task 12
Spelling 7

Total 100

The mark schemes were devised after trialling the tests with pupils and contain examples of some
frequently occurring correct answers given in the trials. The mark schemes indicate the criteria on
which judgements should be made. In areas of uncertainty however, markers should exercise
professional judgement based on the training they have received.

The same sets of assessment focuses for reading and writing provide information about the
particular processes or skills the pupil needs in order to answer the questions. This information is
provided in order to explain the structure of each mark scheme as well as the way in which it will
be used by external markers. The assessment focuses are drawn from the national curriculum and
are directly related to the National Strategies Primary Framework and the Assessing Pupils’
Progress framework.

The 2011 key stage 2 English tests and mark schemes were produced by the key stage 2 English
team at the National Foundation for Educational Research (NFER) on behalf of QCDA.

3
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 4

The reading test

The range of marks available for each question is given under the mark box at the side of
the page in the Reading Answer Booklet.

Incorrect or unacceptable answers are given a mark of 0. No half marks are awarded.

There are several different answer formats:

■ short answers
These may be only a word or phrase, and 1 mark may be awarded for each correct response.

■ several line answers


These may be phrases or a sentence or two, and up to 2 marks may be awarded.

■ longer answers
These require a more detailed explanation of the pupil’s opinion, and up to 3 marks may
be awarded.

■ other answers
Some responses do not involve writing and the requirements are explained in the question.

The mark scheme was devised after trialling the tests with pupils and contains examples (these are
shown in italics) of some frequently occurring correct answers given in the trials. Many pupils will,
however, have different ways of wording an acceptable answer. In assessing each answer, markers
must focus on the content of what has been written and not on the quality of the writing,
expression or grammatical construction, etc.

Assessment focuses for reading

The aspects of reading to be assessed are pupils’ ability to:

1. use a range of strategies, including accurate decoding of text, to read for meaning

2. understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and use
quotation and reference to text

3. deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts

4. identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical
and presentational features at text level

5. explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and literary
features at word and sentence level

6. identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect of the
text on the reader

7. relate texts to their social, cultural and historical contexts and literary traditions.

4
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 5

How the reading mark scheme is set out

20. Complete the three thought bubbles to show what the writer is thinking
aspect of reading and feeling at three different points in the cave.
assessed by this
question
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).
Accept answers written in the 2nd or 3rd person.
advice to markers
a. Going in
1 mark
criteria for the
award of 1 mark Award 1 mark for answers which provide an appropriate thought / feeling, exclamation or comment
on the writer’s situation.

Appropriate thoughts / feelings should relate to:


to gain a mark,
responses must ■ apprehension / nervousness
refer to one or ■ anticipation
more of these
points ■ excitement.
Examples:
examples of ● I am a bit nervous but I’m also excited
responses produced
in the trials ● scared of what lies inside the cave for him and the dangers
awarded 1 mark ● it’s so dark!
● wow, I can’t wait.
further advice to
markers about the Also award 1 mark for the following quotation from the text:
award of 1 mark
■ … the entrance is comfortingly big, wide and tall enough …

responses which Do not accept references to sections of text that are not relevant to this particular part of the
may occur quite experience, eg:
frequently but do
● wow, it’s so beautiful in here.
not merit any
marks

5
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 6

The following table identifies the questions (with marks available) that address each assessment focus (AF):

Focus AF2 AF3 AF4 AF5 AF6 AF7


Understand, describe, Deduce, infer or Identify and comment Explain and comment Identify and comment Relate texts to
select or retrieve interpret information, on the structure and on writers’ uses of on writers’ purposes their social, cultural
information, events or events or ideas organisation of texts, language, including and viewpoints, and historical
ideas from texts and from texts including grammatical grammatical and and the overall effect contexts and
use quotation and and presentational literary features at word of the text on literary traditions
reference to text features at text level and sentence level the reader
Section 1: Information
Q1 1
Q2 1
Q3 1
Q4 1
Q5 1
Q6 1
Q7 1
Q8 1
Section 2: An interview with Lisa Clark
Q9 1
Q10 1
Q11 1
Q12 2
Q13 2
Q14 2
Section 3: Caving ... what lies beneath?
Q15 1
Q16a 1
Q16b 1
Q16c 1
Q16d 1
Q16e 1
Q16f 1
Q17 1
Q18 1
Q19 1
Q20a 1
Q20b 1
Q20c 1
Q21 3
Q22 3
Section 4: The advertisement
Q23 1
Q24a 1
Q24b 1
Q25 2
Q26 1
Section 5: The whole booklet
Q27 2
Q28a 1
Q28b 1
Q29a 2
Q29b 2
Total 12 18 3 5 12 0
Assessment focus 1 underlies the reading of and response to the text and questions in the test, and is not explicitly
separately assessed at key stage 2. Not all focuses will be appropriate to, or appear in, any one test at any given level.

6
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 7

BLANK PAGE

7
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 8

Section 1: Information

Page 4

1. Use the Contents to show what is on different pages in the booklet.


One has been done for you.
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for all three matched correctly.

text pages

the introduction 6–7

an interview 4

a personal experience of caving 5

important facts 8 –10

8
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 9

Page 4 (continued)

2. Find and copy the phrase on page 4 that shows that Daveley Dale caves
are very popular.
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for any quotation from the following sentence that includes the word ‘thousands’.
The quotation may be of any length.

■ Every year thousands of people come here to make a once-in-a-lifetime journey, underground.

Do not penalise minor copying errors.

3. Why is Daveley Dale a good place for young people to learn caving?
1 mark
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference).

Award 1 mark for references to (qualified) instructors or to a safe environment, eg:

● there is an expert to guide them

● it’s safe

● led by qualified instructors in a safe environment.

9
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 10

Page 5

Questions 4, 5 and 7
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.
Question 6
Assessment focus 4: identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including
grammatical and presentational features at text level.
Question 8
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for each correct choice.

4. The purpose of page 5 is to

introduce you encourage you


explain difficult provide
to the whole to visit Daveley
words pictures
booklet Dale caves

5. and it is also helps you to

find the understand find your way


go rock
information in the other texts to Daveley
climbing.
the booklet. in the booklet. Dale caves.

6. The information is

in alphabetical in order of
numbered. not in order.
order. size.

7. The first word in each box is a special term used by

experts people people who


on rocks who write science
live in
and caves. leaflets. teachers.
Daveley Dale.

8. For example, it tells you that a swallet is a word for a cave formed

quickly. in lakes. in soft rock. by a stream.

10
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 11

Section 2: An interview with Lisa Clark

Page 6

9. In which order did the interviewer organise the interview?


Insert numbers in the boxes to show the order. The first one has been
done for you.
1 mark
Assessment focus 4: identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including
grammatical and presentational features at text level.

Award 1 mark for all four stages correctly numbered.

worst moment 4

early childhood memory 2

first caving experience 3

best moment 5

what inspires Lisa to go caving 1

11
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 12

Page 6 (continued)

10. What does Lisa say is the main difference between caving and climbing
a mountain?
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for answers that refer to the difference between seeing and imagining (this may be
quoted directly from Lisa’s answer to the first question), eg:

● a climber can stand and look up and see the challenge while for a caver, really you have to
imagine it
● a caver has to crouch down and try and picture in their heads what is in front of them, a climber
can stand and see their goal.

Do not accept answers that focus only on climbing or caves, eg:

● that a climber can stand and look up and see the challenge
● for a caver you have to imagine your challenge.

Do not accept answers which do not make the difference between seeing and imagining clear, eg:

● that a mountaineer can see the challenge and a caver can’t.

11. How can you tell that Lisa would like her brother to try caving?
1 mark
Assessment focus 5: explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and
literary features at word and sentence level.

Award 1 mark for recognising and/or interpreting the use of the word tempt or copying the relevant
sentence, eg:

● she says ‘I haven’t been able to tempt him’

● she says that she tries to persuade him

● she is trying to get him underground

● she says she can’t get him to go underground which suggests that she wants him to.

12
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 13

Page 6 (continued)

12. Lisa always goes caving with other people.


Give two reasons from the text why she does this.
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference).

Award 1 mark for each valid point made from the categories below, up to a maximum of 2 marks:

■ reassurance of another voice (in the darkness), eg:

● so you can hear a familiar voice

■ reliance on others / explicit advantages of teamwork if in danger, eg:

● something might go wrong and if someone needs help you can help each other when
in danger

■ identification of a specific danger that is mentioned in the text, eg:

● in case there are flash floods.

Do not accept reference to reassurance without reference to hearing another voice or to teamwork
without stating advantages, eg:

● so she is reassured

● for reassurance

● teamwork / teamwork is good / critical.

Do not accept answers which could relate to any non-hazardous activity, eg:

● to keep her company / for safety / getting lost / to encourage her


● you can help each other.
Do not accept a quotation from the text without explanation, eg:

● you really do have to work together.

13
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 14

Page 7

13. Interviewers ask questions for different reasons.


Why do you think the interviewer asked the following questions?
Match each question to its purpose.
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.

Award 2 marks for all four correctly matched pairs.

Award 1 mark for two or three correctly matched pairs.

question purpose

1st question: Why do to encourage other people


you do it? to go caving

2nd question: How did to provide general


you get started … ? background information

4th question: What’s to build up the excitement of


the most dangerous … ? the interview

5th question: And the to find out what makes


best moment? Lisa want to explore caves

14
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 15

Page 7 (continued)

14. The interviewer spoke to Lisa’s mother too.


Write down what you think she would have said about Lisa, using what
you have read in the interview.
Ever since Lisa was a child, I always knew she’d do
something like caving because she …
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).

Award 2 marks for answers which identify one aspect of Lisa’s character.

Appropriate characteristics:

■ adventurous

■ keen on exploration

■ enjoys a challenge

■ determined

■ enthusiastic

■ confident / fearless / brave.

For example:

● likes to explore

● was extremely adventurous. Always climbing trees, exploring. Nothing ever scared Lisa

● would take on a challenge

● was keen on exploring. Also she would always love a hard challenge to knuckle down to

● always wanted to beat her brother to the top of the hill and she was determined to win

● is very confident and not scared in any way.

Award 1 mark for answers which provide a text-based reference to Lisa’s behaviour which exemplifies
an appropriate characteristic, eg:

● always liked climbing so I thought she would do something like caving

● was always racing ahead and always trying to get to the top of the hill.

15
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 16

Section 3: Caving ... what lies beneath?

Page 8

15. The article is about a caving trip.


What is the name of the cave?
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for:

■ Giant’s Hole.

16a. Underline the sentence that shows that the writer feels very small in
the cave.
1 mark
Assessment focus 5: explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and
literary features at word and sentence level.

Award 1 mark for:

■ I am a tiny scrap of meat filling in a colossal rock sandwich.

Also award 1 mark for underlining a significant part of the sentence, eg:

■ I am a tiny scrap (of meat filling).

16b. The writer is lying on his back, looking


upwards. What does he say that he
can see?
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for references to rock, eg:

● rock / limestone

● another sheet of rock.

Do not accept:

● wet rocks / sheet of wet rock.

16
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 17

Page 8 (continued)

16c. Find and copy one word that shows that


the rock is big.
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for any of the following:

■ colossal (rock)

■ thousands (upon thousands)

■ (thousands of) tons

■ sheet (of rock).

Do not accept:

● thousands upon thousands of tons of rock.

16d. Find and copy one word that shows he is


not completely certain that the rock is firm.
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for:

■ fairly.

Do not accept:

■ fairly solid.

17
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 18

Page 8 (continued)

16e. Why does the writer include so many numbers in this paragraph?
1 mark
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.

Award 1 mark for reference to the writer’s emphasis on the extreme dimensions of himself or his
surroundings, eg:

● to emphasise the size / smallness / narrowness of the tunnel

● to exaggerate the bigness

● because he is telling us how big everything is and he is explaining how big the rocks were
● to let you imagine how big the rock is.

Also award 1 mark for answers referring to helping the reader visualise the overall impression, eg:

● to make you imagine what it’s like

● to show that he is very deep underground


● he is getting the reader to imagine how big everything is.

Do not accept answers concerned with precision, eg:

● it’s accurate / it gives the exact measurements

● because he wants to say the height and length

● because it is telling you how high the cave is.

18
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 19

Page 9

16f. Imagine this


What is the effect of starting with these words?
1 mark
Assessment focus 5: explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and
literary features at word and sentence level.

Award 1 mark for reference to his attempt to involve the reader in visualising the scene or empathising
with the writer, eg:

● to get the reader to try and see what he’s describing

● to make you picture what it’s like

● to make the reader think they are there

● it’s making you imagine what it’s like to be him

● it gets you to imagine how scary it is.

Do not accept undeveloped responses which may refer to and attempt to explain the term
‘imagine’, eg:

● getting us to imagine what he’s done

● to get you to think about it

● to get the reader to feel.

Do not accept more general answers, eg:

● to make it more exciting

● to make you read on

● giving us more detail.

17. What equipment was needed for this caving trip?


Tick four items.
1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for all four items correctly ticked.

hot water rubber


bottle
helmet ✓ gloves
clothes

mobile
headlamp ✓ hat
phone
wellies ✓

19
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 20

Page 9 (continued)

18. Why does the writer try to keep his voice:


deep and calm?
1 mark
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).

Award 1 mark for answers relating to the author demonstrating his control of fear, for the benefit of
others (may be implicit), eg:

● to show he’s not scared

● so that Duncan won’t know he’s scared

● so nobody knows he is worried

● so his friends would stay calm

● so other cavers don’t think he is in danger

● so he sounds in control.

Do not accept references to rock fall, eg:

● because if he shouts loudly the rock will crumble

● so that he doesn’t cause lots of rock to fall.

Do not accept references to the author needing to keep himself calm, eg:

● so that he doesn’t panic

● if he didn’t he might panic and slip

● because he is scared.

19. Look at the text underneath the picture on page 9.


What has happened to make the writer stop panicking?
1 mark
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (simple inference).

Award 1 mark for answers referring to the fact that they are no longer stuck in the crevice / they appear
to be out of trouble / safe or that Duncan has moved, eg:

● he says he can nearly stand up

● the person who was stuck got out

● Duncan started to move.

Do not accept general answers, eg:

● they have become safe.

Do not accept references to the loop, eg:

● they have gone on a loop.

20
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 21

Page 10

20. Complete the three thought bubbles to show what the writer is thinking
and feeling at three different points in the cave.

Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).
Accept answers written in the 2nd or 3rd person.

20a. Going in
1 mark

Award 1 mark for answers which provide an appropriate thought / feeling, exclamation or comment
on the writer’s situation.

Appropriate thoughts / feelings should relate to:

■ apprehension / nervousness

■ anticipation

■ excitement.
Examples:

● I am a bit nervous but I’m also excited

● scared of what lies inside the cave for him and the dangers

● it’s so dark!
● wow, I can’t wait.

Also award 1 mark for the following quotation from the text:

■ … the entrance is comfortingly big, wide and tall enough …

Do not accept references to sections of text that are not relevant to this particular part of the
experience, eg:

● wow, it’s so beautiful in here.

continued…

21
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 22

Page 10 (continued)

20b. In the cave


1 mark

Award 1 mark for answers which provide an appropriate thought / feeling, exclamation or comment
on the writer’s situation.

Appropriate thoughts / feelings should relate to:

■ fear

■ threat

■ danger

■ regret / concern.
Examples:

● help, I’m scared

● ahh help! I’m stuck. I may never get out

● why did I do this?


● I’m squashed, I can do it, come on.

Also award 1 mark for either of the following quotations from the text:

■ I am a tiny scrap of meat …

■ … we are in a strange, hostile environment … we could die here.

Do not accept references to the dark.

Do not accept references to sections of text that are not relevant to this particular part of the
experience, eg:

● I’m having a great time!

● he might be going to rescue somebody.

continued…

22
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 23

Page 10 (continued)

20c. Getting out


1 mark

Award 1 mark for answers which provide an appropriate thought / feeling, exclamation or comment
on the writer’s situation.

Appropriate thoughts / feelings should relate to:

■ relief

■ exhilaration

■ delight

■ achievement

■ reflection on experience.
Examples:

● finally, we are out

● phew, I’m alive. I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong and I made it through

● happy and thinking it wasn’t that bad at all, except when I was stuck.

Also award 1 mark for either of the following quotations from the text:

■ … all four of us beginners were babbling …

■ We’d done plenty for one day, thanks.

Do not accept references to sections of text that are not relevant to this particular part of the
experience, eg:

● he might be taking somebody out of there

● I want to get out of the cave.

23
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 24

Page 11

21. Explain what makes the writer feel scared. Use what you have read in the
whole article.
Think about:
● what the writer is doing
● what he thinks might happen.
up to 3 marks
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).

Possible points include fear of any of the following which may or may not result in injury or death:

■ being lost

■ narrowness of tunnels / claustrophobia / suffocation

■ fear of being trapped (for a long time)

■ possibility of rock fall

■ the dark

■ being a novice / fear of the unknown

■ his smallness compared to vastness of rock / cave complex

■ absence of an instructor.

Award 3 marks for answers which refer to three of the possible points or which refer to two points and
develop at least one, eg:

● he thinks that he might get stuck and trapped. He is in a place he knows nothing about and he
feels small [fear of being trapped; fear of the unknown; his smallness]

● firstly, Duncan hasn't moved in a long time. Secondly, he thinks he's going to suffocate in the
tunnel and never see light again. Finally, he thought they were lost and the water was trickling
in and was going to drown them [fear of being trapped; suffocation; being lost]
● when Andy the instructor left them alone and directed them Stephen thought that they had gone
the wrong way which made him panic. When Stephen could not hear Duncan it made him
worried as he didn't know what had happened to him [absence of an instructor; being lost; fear
of the unknown]
● what made the writer feel scared was that he felt like he was suffocating and that the tunnels
were getting smaller as they went on. He is very scared that the cave could collapse on him.
[suffocation + development; possibility of rock fall].

continued…

24
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 25

Page 11 (continued)

Award 2 marks for answers which refer to two different points or cover one point in full, eg:

● when he thought Duncan was stuck and when he thought he was suffocating [fear of being
trapped; suffocation]

● he thinks he might be suffocated if the cave falls on him because he is lying flat on his back
[suffocation; possibility of rock fall]
● Duncan looks stuck and they don’t know how long the tunnel is [fear of being trapped; fear of
the unknown]
● he is scared because he is in a tunnel which is very narrow and he can’t breathe which makes
him panic. [narrowness + development].

Award 1 mark for an answer that presents one point without development, eg:

● he’s lost and doesn’t know the way out [being lost]

● the writer might think rocks will fall on them and might very badly injure one of them. The writer
probably is panicking but he is just not showing it [possibility of rock fall]
● because he is crawling through small spaces [narrowness]
● because it was so dark [the dark].

Also award 1 mark for fear of death or serious injury without explanation (not credited in combination
with other creditworthy points), eg:

● he’s scared because he thinks he might die.

Do not accept references to falling or non-specific comments, eg:

● he thinks something bad will happen.

Do not accept references to other texts, eg:

● he was worried about the flash floods

● the cave might gush with water and he’s doing something quite scary.

25
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 26

Page 11 (continued)

22. Look at the text on page 10, starting from And I was struck by the beauty …
to the end of the article.
Explain the writer’s thoughts and feelings.
up to 3 marks
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).

Award 1 mark for reference to each of the key points listed below, up to a maximum of 3 marks.

A further mark may be awarded for:

■ supplementing one of the key points with text-based development.

key point text-based development

■ recognition of the beauty ■ detail of the beauty he observed (when


underground (but do not accept associated with recognition of beauty
simple reference to beauty, as this is underground)
given in the question stem)
■ he hadn’t previously noticed this
or because he was scared

■ detail of the beauty

■ feeling of relief (because he was safe) ■ after being underground for some time

■ detail of the danger he had been in

■ feeling of achievement / exhilaration ■ he’d been challenged (and succeeded)


because of what he had done / change in
■ delight at being in the open air / being safe
feeling from previously being scared /
again
memorable experience
■ after being underground for some time

■ reflection on the (memorable) experience

■ expectation that he would return ■ he says ‘those treats could wait’

Examples of 3 mark answers:

● he thought Wow I am so pleased I struggled to reach an amazing sight like this! He feels
overwhelmed, excited and would love to do it again! [recognition of the beauty underground;
feeling of achievement; expectation that he would return]
● this is amazing, this is fantastic. I can’t believe I made it here, it seems like everything is
covered in candle wax [recognition of the beauty underground + text-based development;
feeling of achievement]
● because he was relieved that the scary part was over he started to realise the beauty and
wonder of the cave and he felt much better [feeling of relief + text-based development;
recognition of beauty underground].

continued…

26
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 27

Page 11 (continued)

Examples of 2 mark answers:

● he was amazed by the beauty of the caves and when he emerged he was exhilarated
[recognition of the beauty underground; exhilaration]

● he was amazed at the beauty of the caves. The fronds were as big as his hands and they were
made of coral [recognition of the beauty underground + text-based development]
● Wow this place is amazing and beautiful. I’m really enjoying this. I ought to do this again
sometime. [recognition of the beauty underground; expectation that he would return].

Examples of 1 mark answers:

● surprised in a good way, happy and inspired to do more caving [expectation that he would
return]

● by the end he thought about what he had achieved and he was happy with himself [feeling of
achievement]
● I am going to be OK because I am with Andy and thank goodness, I thought I might never get
out [feeling of relief].
Do not accept direct quotation from this section of text without any explanation or expansion.

27
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 28

Section 4: The advertisement

Page 12

23. How much does a family ticket cost?


1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for:

■ £25

24. Page 11 was written to make everyone interested in visiting


Daveley Dale.
Find and copy one part of the advertisement that attracts the
following people.
a. people interested in rocks 1 mark
b. teachers 1 mark
Assessment focus 2: understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas from texts and
use quotation and reference to text.

Award 1 mark for any of:

people interested ■ (spectacular) stalactites and/or stalagmites


in rocks ■ encrusted caverns
■ impressive formation

Award 1 mark for either:


teachers ■ school groups (catered for)
■ guided tours

Do not penalise minor copying errors.

28
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 29

Page 12 (continued)

25. The advertisement is designed to attract people to Daveley Dale.


Why does it include quotations from visitors?
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.

Award 2 marks for answers which explain that the quotations function as a recommendation from
other people, eg:

● so you know what people who have been there think of it

● so they can tell you how good it is

● to tell you people think it’s good

● to show you which age groups enjoyed it.

Award 1 mark for reference to the quotations encouraging more people to visit or to being convincing or
giving a positive general impression, eg:

● to attract more people

● to show how enjoyable / fun / good it is

● to make it sound really good.

Do not accept responses which are based closely on the question, eg:

● to persuade you to visit / to attract people to come.

29
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 30

Page 13

26. Label each arrow to show different parts of the advertisement.


1 mark
Assessment focus 4: identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including
grammatical and presentational features at text level.

Award 1 mark for all boxes completed correctly.

C
E
D

30
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 31

BLANK PAGE

31
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 32

Section 5: The whole booklet

Page 14

27. Sentences have been left out of each of the texts you have read.
Draw lines to match each sentence to the text you think it came from.
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 3: deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts (complex inference).

Award 2 marks for all four matched correctly.

Award 1 mark for two or three matched correctly.

It will be the best day


Interview with Lisa Clark
of your holiday!

Creeping forward is
Need to know
agony.

What will be your next


Article by Stephen Bleach
challenge?

Crampon: Hook used


Advertisement
for climbing and caving.

32
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 33

Page 14 (continued)

28. Lisa compared going caving to moving like a worm.


Find one more word on page 7 and two words on page 10 that give the
idea that caving is like moving like a worm.

a. An interview with Lisa Clark 1 mark


Assessment focus 5: explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and
literary features at word and sentence level.

Award 1 mark for:

■ slither.

Also accept:

■ slithering / slithered / you slither.

b. Caving ... what lies beneath? 1 mark


Assessment focus 5: explain and comment on writers’ uses of language, including grammatical and
literary features at word and sentence level.

Award 1 mark for:

■ wriggling and squirming in either order.

Also accept:

● wriggled / wriggle / squirmed / squirm.

Do not accept other phrases, eg:

● crawling on your stomach / slithering out.

33
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 34

Page 15

29a. Which text do you think might encourage someone to visit a cave?
Tick one.
Explain your choice.
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.

Award 2 marks for reference to an appropriate and positive feature of a text that is specific to that text
only, eg:

● it tells you how fun and dangerous it can be at the same time not like the article that is just
danger (interview)

● it talks about going to places that no one has been to before (interview)

● it gives information about the geology and what you could see (article)

● it tells you everything you can do and when it’s open and the prices, because you want to feel
the excitement like the quotations did (advertisement)

● it says a girl aged 10 really liked it, I’m 11 (advertisement)

● it has positive language, nothing negative, and it makes you want to be there (advertisement)

● it says it costs £25 for a family and that is cheap for a whole day out (advertisement).

Award 1 mark for reference to an appropriate and positive feature of a text that could apply to more than
one text, eg:

● it’s very beautiful / awe-inspiring (all texts)

● it sounds very exciting / worthwhile (all texts)

● it explains the physical challenge (article / interview)

● because it gives you the information about caves (all texts)

● because it says what fun it is (interview / advertisement).

Do not accept answers which simply refer to the persuasive purpose of the advertisement or simply
refer to the cost stated in the advertisement without further explanation or which paraphrase the
question.

continued…

34
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 35

Page 15 (continued)

29b. Which text do you think might put someone off visiting a cave?
Tick one.
Explain your choice.
up to 2 marks
Assessment focus 6: identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the overall effect
of the text on the reader.

Award 2 marks for reference to an appropriate feature of a text that is specific to that text only, eg:

● because the fast flood comes and you could drown (interview)

● it shows it can be dangerous underground. They got stuck in the cave (article)

● it makes them scared, they are very scared (article)


● it would be crowded with lots of people and because it is quite expensive (advertisement).

Award 1 mark for reference to an appropriate feature of a text that could apply to more than one text, eg:

● it shows it can be uncomfortable / wet / cramped (interview / article)

● where it tells us the bad parts (interview / article)

● it shows it can be dangerous (interview / article).

35
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 36

BLANK PAGE

36
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 37

The writing test

There are two mark schemes, one for the longer task Record Breaker (pages 40–43); the other for
the shorter task Charity Choice (pages 58–59).

Assessment focuses for writing


The aspects of writing to be assessed are pupils’ ability to:

1. write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts

2. produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose

3. organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas
and events

4. construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs

5. vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect

6. write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences

7. select appropriate and effective vocabulary (this is not assessed separately, but contributes to
text structure and organisation and composition and effect)

8. use correct spelling (assessed through the spelling test).

The mark scheme strands


For the purpose of marking the writing, related assessment focuses have been drawn together into
three strands:

■ sentence structure and punctuation

■ text structure and organisation

■ composition and effect.

For the longer task, the strands are organised as follows:

Assessment focuses

■ sentence structure and – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect
punctuation – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation
in phrases, clauses and sentences.

■ text structure and – organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing
organisation and structuring information, ideas and events
– construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and
between paragraphs.

■ composition and effect – write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts


– produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and
purpose.

Handwriting is assessed in the longer task. The marking criteria are shown in section F on page 43.

37
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 38

For the shorter task, the strands are organised as follows:

Assessment focuses

■ sentence structure, – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect


punctuation and text – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation
organisation in phrases, clauses and sentences
– construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and
between paragraphs.

■ composition and effect – write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts


– produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader
and purpose.

The criteria encourage positive recognition of achievement in writing. Pupils do not necessarily
develop uniformly across these categories, and the strands allow separate judgements to be made
about the relative strengths and weaknesses of a pupil’s work.

Marking procedures

The criteria for each strand identify typical characteristics of pupils’ work in different bands. When
marking, it is helpful first to identify which bands are most relevant to the writing and then refine
the judgement to a mark within a band. Criteria from lower bands that are also applicable to
higher bands should be seen as relevant to higher band descriptors. For example, the criterion
Sentences are mostly grammatically sound appears in Band A3. However, grammatical soundness
should also be taken to be an underlying feature of performance at Band A4 and Band A5, even
though it is not explicitly stated at these bands.

Where organisational devices are used to structure a piece of writing (eg firstly, secondly, finally;
furthermore; consequently), credit should be given for evidence of effective and appropriate use.
However, indiscriminate use of such devices (ie where the devices are not integrated meaningfully
into the writing) should not be regarded as a positive feature of performance.

The annotations on the example scripts show how to look for features in the writing, and the
summary boxes show how to weigh these features to reach a mark.

Where the writing clearly does not meet the criteria for Band 1, a mark of 0 should be awarded.

Pupils will be expected to follow the prompt very carefully, especially in content and form. Pupils
whose writing is unrelated to the prompt will not be credited with any marks for composition and
effect. Those pupils who do not maintain the form throughout the piece, for example a non-fiction
piece becoming narrative, will not have access to the full range of marks for composition and
effect.

Marking the writing

A set of annotated scripts, written by year 6 pupils during the English pre-tests, is presented
here to support judgements of the writing. Scripts are reproduced without corrections
to spelling.

38
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 39

The longer task: Record Breaker

The prompt requires pupils to imagine that three local children have broken world records,
and the task is to write a report for the local newspaper about one such record-breaking event.
Ideas for content are given in the form of basic information about the three children’s records;
however, the prompt makes it clear that the final choice is left to the writer’s imagination.
Support for the development of content and the organisation of the newspaper report is
supplied on the planning page; the pupil answer pages suggest newspaper presentation with a
headline and image of a trophy. Better performances are distinguished by effective adaptation
of content and structure to engage the newspaper’s readership and generate interest in the
situation surrounding the record-breaking event.

Record Breaker

Three children living in your local area have recently broken world
records in their age group:

• Ali broke the record for talking non-stop

• Morgan broke the record for continuous trampolining

• Sam broke the record for the largest collection of ...

Your task is to write a newspaper report for your local


newspaper about ONE record-breaking event.

You can use one of these ideas, or you can make up your own.

39
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 40

Mark scheme for the longer task: Record Breaker

SECTION A SENTENCE STRUCTURE AND PUNCTUATION


Assessment focuses: vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect
write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences

Band A1 ● Clauses usually grammatically accurate. Some simple sentences, often brief, starting with a subject +
verb (Sam went). Clauses mostly joined with and, but, then, so.

● Sentences sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops.


1 mark

Band A2 ● Subjects and verbs often simple and frequently repeated (he, it, goes, plays). Simple connectives and,
but, then, so, when link clauses. Some sentence variation created, eg simple adverbials (at the sports
centre, Today). Noun phrases mostly simple (the judges) with some limited expansion (a young boy).

● Full stops, capital letters, exclamation marks and question marks mostly accurate; commas used in lists.
2 –3 marks

Band A3 ● Sentences are mostly grammatically sound. Some variety in subordinating connectives: because, if
(because he wanted it for ages). Adverbials (when it was raining), modal verbs (could, would) and
expanded noun phrases (the community centre in the middle of town) add variety. Tense choice
generally appropriate. Some variation of subjects (Her friends, the money). Some adverbs, eg to
indicate writer’s attitude towards the situation (Luckily, happily).

● Most sentences correctly demarcated; some commas mark phrases or clauses. If used, inverted commas
demarcate the beginning and end of direct speech, correctly on most occasions.
4 –5 marks

Band A4 ● Simple and complex sentences with some variety of connectives, eg while, although, until. Expansion
of phrases and clauses adds detail (the people who were waiting on the beach). Range of verb forms
develops meaning and maintains appropriate tense choice (had been able to). Additional words and
phrases contribute to shades of meaning, eg adverbs (particularly).

● Range of punctuation used, almost always correctly, eg brackets, dashes, colons. Full punctuation of
direct speech, if used.
6 –7 marks

Band A5 ● Length and focus of sentences varied to express subtleties in meaning and to focus on key ideas, eg
passive (will be rewarded). Sentences may include controlled use of several subordinate clauses
(playing with the team that’s sure to win the next championship) sometimes for economy of
expression. Word order to create emphasis (As interesting as this is).

● Range of punctuation, with little omission, to give clarity.


8 marks

40
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 41

SECTION B TEXT STRUCTURE AND ORGANISATION


Assessment focuses: organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information,
ideas and events
construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs

Band B1 ● Ideas grouped into sequences of sentences; may follow a simple chronology. Use of third person may
not be consistent. Beginning or end may be marked by simple narrative phrases (One day).

● Simple connectives used (and, and then). Some connection between sentences, eg pronouns referring to
the same person or thing.

1 mark

Band B2 ● Text structure overall is simple: some events organised into a basic sequence; brief introduction or
ending. Some divisions between events indicated (Next, On Saturday).

● Connections are built up by reference to events or people (Ben / he). Other relationships within and
between sentences may be used, eg contrast (but they cost a lot of money).
2 –3 marks

Band B3 ● The newspaper report is organised: paragraphs or sections are logically sequenced, although
transitions may be awkward. Shifts in time and place help shape the text and guide the reader, eg by
introducing a new section (His next record will be).

● Within paragraphs or sections, content may be developed around a main sentence. Paragraphs or
sections organised to expand a particular event or topic, eg comments from friends. Connections
within paragraphs or sections maintained, eg through ongoing references (Sarah / her sister).
4 –5 marks

Band B4 ● Overall organisation of the newspaper report is supported by paragraphs or sections which enable
coherent development and control of content across the text. Relationships between paragraphs or
sections give structure to the whole text, eg links make structure between topics clear.

● Within paragraphs or sections, main ideas are developed with relevant detail or examples, eg a
paragraph gives detail about a significant event. Reference to people / events / settings sometimes
varied to avoid repetition (the 8 year old / the youngster).

6 –7 marks

Band B5 ● Sequencing of paragraphs or sections contributes to overall effectiveness. The structure of the
newspaper report is controlled across the text. Chronology may be interrupted for effect, eg inclusion
of comments, or quotations from the record breaker or record breaker’s family. Individual paragraphs
or sections are varied in length and structure.

● Each paragraph or section has a clear focus, and content is organised. Connection between ideas
developed, eg by reference or contrast within the paragraph (Although everyone told her to stop).
8 marks

41
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 42

SECTION C COMPOSITION AND EFFECT


Assessment focuses: write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts
produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose

Band C1 ● A simple recount based on the prompt; conventional narrative form may be evident.

● Some detail included to interest the reader (11 years old).


1–2 marks

Band C2 ● Form is a simple report; coverage may be unbalanced. Some detail or description of events; some
explanation (took place in Manchester). May contain elements / features of a spoken news report.

● Writing shows evidence of viewpoint: the account suggests some attitude, eg positive reaction to the
record breaker (the class were happy, it was great).

● Word choice often general (other boys) with some detail (five hours and 45 minutes). Level of
formality may be inconsistent.
3 –5 marks

Band C3 ● The form of a newspaper report is maintained: balance between report of events and comments.
Content developed to engage reader, eg through quotations or reported comments about the record
breaker (“We always knew she was a brilliant swimmer!”).

● Viewpoint is established and maintained, eg the record breaker depicted as unusually talented
(shocked at how long she did it for).

● Some straightforward stylistic features used to support purpose, eg informative word choice
(certificate, measured), description of feelings (proud, thrilled).
6 –8 marks

Band C4 ● Content adapted, eg important events told through the record breaker’s own words (when the buzzer
went my heart was thumping), appeals to the newspaper’s readers (Be sure to pick up the next issue).

● Viewpoint is established and controlled, eg the reporter appears well informed (represent England,
Ali’s mother Julie).

● Some stylistic features add emphasis and interest, eg precise language (beaten the previous record by
five), emotive vocabulary for effect (staggering, applause thundered).
9 –11 marks

Band C5 ● Choice and placing of content is informed by purpose, eg writer prioritises significant comments and
information.

● Viewpoint well controlled, eg reporter’s portrayal of events encourages reader to interpret the news
events in a particular way (One disgruntled resident said).

● A range of stylistic features, eg concise newspaper style phrasing (John’s Dad, father of three, a
lifetime player himself from Pinner), patterning, figurative language.
12 marks

42
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 43

SECTION F HANDWRITING

All pupils need to develop a serviceable handwriting style which is legible, clear and encourages the reader
to engage with what has been written.
This assessment of handwriting is based on pupils’ ability to write legibly and fluently in a sustained piece
of writing.
Judgements will be made on the basis of the legibility and clarity of the handwriting throughout the longer
task, supported by a closer look at the size and position of words and letters.

Band F1 The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing.
However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven.
1 mark

Band F2 Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are usually
appropriate in size and position but there is some variation.
2 marks

Band F3 The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed.
The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader.
3 marks

43
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 44

SENTENCE STRUCTURE TEXT STRUCTURE


& PUNCTUATION & ORGANISATION

noun phrases with The trampolin record has been breaken ones again. brief introduction (B2)
limited expansion kelly gordon has done it. She is the world record.
(A2)
Outsanding time is 4 days no stoping. unclear pronoun
It all happened in there back Garden reference limits build up
of connections
on the 5th march 2009 . (below B2)
simple adverbials
(A2) Her sister Chloe Gordon was there
in the back garden timeing her for 4 days.
weaknesses in clause
construction Kelly Gordon doing all back flips and more. some divisions indicated
(below A2) (B2)
She was on fire. Flips and kicks all 4 days how did she
sentence do it?
demarcation (A2)

demarcation If you want to see Kelly doing flips got to outsanding


ignored (below A2) flips by KellyG.com. She is doing some outsanding flip
kick you name it shes doing.

repeated subject
(A2)

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT TEXT STRUCTURE


STRUCTURE & & ORGANISATION
PUNCTUATION A simple report of Kelly’s record breaking achievement; occasional
description of events (4 days no stoping, timeing her) (C2).
Summary Summary
Some evidence of the writer’s attitude towards Kelly (back flips and
Mainly simple sentences, more) (C2). The overall text structure
with some limited is straightforward with
variation provided by Some vocabulary for interest (back flips, on fire) weakened by evidence of a simple
adverbials, and some repetition (Outsanding, flips) (C2). opening and some
expanded noun phrases divisions, indicating
suggest award in Band award in Band B2.
A2. There is some Summary However, the simplicity
evidence of correct of references and
sentence demarcation; This straightforward report, about a girl breaking a trampolining ambiguity in pronoun use
however, inaccuracies record, relies on mainly simple language choices; inclusion of some limit the award to the
elsewhere in demarcation detail and the writer’s viewpoint provide further evidence for Band lower mark in the band.
and clause construction C2. More use of detail to interest and a reduction in the repetition of
keep the mark to the content would be necessary for the award of a higher mark in the
lower in the band. band.

Band A2 – 2 marks Band C2 – 3 marks Band B2 – 2 marks

44
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 45

SENTENCE STRUCTURE TEXT STRUCTURE


& PUNCTUATION & ORGANISATION

Earlier last week a young 10 year old boy named sam


brief introduction (B2)
sentence won a 500m race in just 50 mins!
demarcation (A2)

This breathtaking event was took Place at the one and


only London Park. It was a sunny wendnesday evening
noun phrases with and everybody from every street came to watch the
limited expansion
(A2) 500m London bike race 2010 !
divisions indicated (B2)

simple adverbials As soon as the wistle blew all 20 compediters set off like
(A2) the wind. As the mins got by most of the racers started
to give up as none of them could never catch up with
sam...
connection built up
repeated subject within and between
Doing 10 mins per 100m the crowed was shocked with sentences (B2)
(A2)
excitment!!! A shocking attempt made by one of the
other racers tried to knock young sam over, luckly
sam was going too fast for him...!

simple noun phrases sam eventuly met the finish line! the crowed was
(A2) amazed for Sam had bet the record for doing 500m in
just 50 min! I cant believe I bet the world record for
500m in 50 min! Sam replied looking very tired. Whilst
carrying the shiny, golden trophy home the crowd
comma in a list (A2)
looked gobsmacked! (What an amazing, breathtaking attempt at ending (B2)
race)!

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT TEXT STRUCTURE


STRUCTURE & & ORGANISATION
PUNCTUATION The report includes some description (sam was going too fast) and
explanation (could never catch up) of how the record was broken (C2).
Summary Summary
Viewpoint is evident through comments on reactions to Sam’s
The use of noun phrases achievement (the crowed was amazed) (C2). Evidence of references
with some expansion within and between
together with simple Some detail is given (shocked, tired, shiny, golden trophy). Some sentences builds
adverbials suggests award language choices are formal (compediters) and some are less formal connection in the text
in Band A2. Although (gobsmacked) (C2). and indicates award in
there is overuse of Band B2. The higher
exclamation marks, the Summary mark is confirmed by
presence of a comma in a features of simple overall
list and mostly accurate In this simple report about a bike race, the inclusion of detail and structure, including an
sentence demarcation some careful word choice help to provide some development of the introduction and
justifies the higher mark events leading up to Sam’s world record. These features, supported by divisions within the event
in the band. evidence of a point of view, are sufficient to merit the highest mark in sequence.
Band C2. Greater consistency of style would be necessary for an
award in the next band.

Band A2 – 3 marks Band C2 – 5 marks Band B2 – 3 marks

45
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 46

SENTENCE STRUCTURE TEXT STRUCTURE


& PUNCTUATION & ORGANISATION

use of commas to Yesterday morning young Jonathan White Smashed a


overall organisation:
mark a phrase World record. Jonathan, age 11, Set the new record for introduction (B3)
within a sentence
(A3) largest collection of marbles. Jonathan owned a great
section development
1317 marble collection which blew away the previous
subordination (A3) weakened as topic is
record of 939 which was collected by Liam Salt. introduced but not
Jonathan described his emotions as estatic and over expanded (below B3)
adverbials (A3)
the moon . Near by neighbours were speechles. shifts help to guide the
expanded noun reader (B3)
After collecting for years and years Jonathan has finally
phrases (A3)
done it said Mr and Mrs White we are so proud of him
secure demarcation limited reference
they added. Jonathan is hoping that he will be able to (below B3)
(A3)
increase his record and hope for the best for the future
demarcation of
direct speech to come. This record will live long in the memories of: concluding comment
ignored (below A3) (B3)
him, his family and the people around him .

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT TEXT STRUCTURE


STRUCTURE & & ORGANISATION
PUNCTUATION Several aspects of Jonathan’s record breaking collection are
presented in newspaper form, with some detail (great 1317) (C3);
Summary content development is restricted in some places (below C3). Summary

The use of expanded An attitude of admiration towards the record breaker is maintained Overall organisation of
noun phrases, (speechles, so proud) (C3). ideas with an
subordination and introduction, grouping of
adverbials suggests an Some vocabulary choices support newspaper form and create content and a conclusion
award in Band A3. interest (Smashed, blew away, estatic) (C3). suggests award in Band
Evidence of mostly secure B3. However, limited use
sentence demarcation and Summary of reference and some
correct comma usage missed opportunities to
confirm Band A3; This account of a marble collecting record, though brief, maintains expand relevant topics
inclusion of inverted the form of a newspaper report, holds a consistent point of view and within sections keep the
commas to demarcate the includes some carefully chosen vocabulary. Despite limited mark to the lower in the
direct speech would be development of content, there is just enough evidence, overall, to band.
necessary for the higher merit award of the lowest mark in Band C3.
mark in the band.

Band A3 – 4 marks Band C3 – 6 marks Band B3 – 4 marks

46
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:54 Page 47

SENTENCE STRUCTURE TEXT STRUCTURE


& PUNCTUATION & ORGANISATION

AS FAST AS A CHEATER
secure sentence
demarcation (A3)
Ben Wilson is now the fastest 12 year old boy on the planet
to run the 100m sprint. He aced it at Tadcater with a
amazing time of 12 seconds. It was only a village race that
gave Ben his dream to become the next Usane Bolt.
Everyone in the village was amazed at Bens time, Mr
Mitchell quoted “it was just amence, he shot down that track paragraph development:
expanded noun
like a bullet”. expansion through
phrases (A3) comment (B3)
Bens name has been entered into next years guinnis world
record book . He has also been scouted for the young
British Olimpic squad where he will train three times a week.
Bens coach quoted “ this boy has real pertential and will go
adverbials (A3) a long way, in a few years he might even be chosen for the
Olimpics”.
connections within the
This is a great achievement for Ben, he says he will always paragraph maintained
remember the 11th of July was when his dream came true. (B3)

inverted commas Ben quoted “ this is the best thing that has ever happened
(A3) to me ” .

The race that Ben took part in (in Tadcater) will still go on logical overall
every year. Bens success has influenced people all over the sequencing (B3):
world to start running and although Bens time was fast , one shift to future events
day someone might just smash his record.
subordination (A3)
It has to be said that Ben Wilson is as fast as a cheater
hunting its prey!
Reported by Emily Jones

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT TEXT STRUCTURE


STRUCTURE & & ORGANISATION
PUNCTUATION Newspaper form maintained through the balance of reporting
(only a village race that gave Ben his dream) and quotation (this boy
Summary has real pertential and will go a long way) and the use of the headline Summary
in the report (as fast as a cheater) (C3).
Sentence structure is Within sections, there is
developed by the use of Viewpoint is maintained: Ben is portrayed as exceptionally talented evidence of topic
subordination, adverbials (the next Usane Bolt) (C3). development and
and expanded noun expansion through the
phrases, suggesting award The level of formality is consistent (scouted, influenced) and word use of comments,
in Band A3. Although choice is informative (British Olimpic squad, 11th of July). Some quotations and ongoing
the use of commas to phrases provide interest (someone might just smash his record) (C3). references, indicating
mark divisions is not award in Band B3. The
secure, mostly accurate Summary overall organisation of
sentence demarcation and the text, shown through
inverted commas to In this developed newspaper report, detailed information and logical sequencing,
indicate speech justify the comments establish a positive impression towards Ben and his record confirms the higher mark.
higher mark in the band. breaking achievement, leading to award in Band C3. The use of style
supports the informative purpose, justifying the highest mark in the
band.

Band A3 – 5 marks Band C3 – 8 marks Band B3 – 5 marks

47
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 48

SENTENCE STRUCTURE TEXT STRUCTURE


& PUNCTUATION & ORGANISATION

An amazing record has been broken!

simple sentences 12 year old, Ali has broken the record for talking non-stop! The previous
(A4) record was 24 hours however, Ali made that time look easy! 44 hours, was
the time she kept talking for.

It first started on Thursday 13th September 2010. Ali told us that she woke
up that morning and thought to herself “I want to do something amazing”. paragraph development:
range of After a lot of thought ( and looking through World Record Books) she main ideas elaborated
punctuation (A4): eventually found non-stop talking. Originally; the record was held by Rachel with detail (B4)
brackets
Parsons who was also 12 years old .
omission apostrophe
Ali started at 12:00pm that same day and her parents were very supportive
however, told us that they didn ’t think she ’d really be able to achieve it.

expansion adds At all times someone from ‘Record Breaker’ had to be with Ali.
detail (A4) Jennie Cook was this person. We talked to Jennie, and this is what she said.
varied references (B4)
“It was hard work following Ali everywhere however, I really enjoyed it
shades of meaning because , some of the time she would talk about such random things!
through additional
words (A4) Poor Ali had to go to school while she was breaking the record. As well as
this she had to go to dance! Worst of all, she couldn’t sleep for one moment links between sections
complex verb forms because she couldn’t stop talking for any one time! make structure clear
(A4) (B4)
Here at ‘Buckston Weekly’ we talked to some of her friends and family. Some
were very supportive; some found it annoying however, all of them agreed
varied connectives that Ali deserves the recognition.
(A4)
For her achievement Ali was rewarded with a golden trophy; certificate and of
course a place in the latest ‘Record Breaker’ book. She also, didn’t realise
complex sentences that while she was doing it she was raising money. Overall, she raised £216
(A4) which she decided would all go to her favourite charity. underdeveloped section
(below B4) and brief
An interview took place with Ali herself, and here is what she said.
conclusion (below B4)
range of “ I’m so proud of what I have achieved and hopefully I have inspired a lot of
punctuation (A4): people to try something different. ”
inverted commas
In conclusion , everyone is very pleased for Ali and is glad she achieved her
comma
goal!

Reported by Lucy Turner

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT TEXT STRUCTURE


STRUCTURE & & ORGANISATION
PUNCTUATION Adaptation of newspaper form (Here at ‘Buckston Weekly’) together
with appeal to reader (told us) and relevant comment (she would talk
Summary about such random things!) (C4). Summary

Sentence variation, in the The viewpoint of the writer is well informed (The previous record The use of varied
form of simple and was…, Originally; the record was held by…) (C4). references and the links
complex sentences, between sections to
additional words, Some emotive language (Poor Ali, inspired ) (C4); other word structure the text suggest
expansion and complex choice is repetitive (achievement, achieved, very supportive). award in Band B4.
verb forms suggests Despite the development
award in Band A4. Summary of main ideas within
Although there are some some paragraphs,
inaccuracies, a range of This piece provides a thorough and informative report of Ali’s record weaknesses in the
punctuation is used breaking achievement of non-stop talking. The presentation of development of other
correctly which confirms relevant first-hand comments from different sources supports the paragraphs limit the
the award of the higher approach and engages the reader, justifying award in Band C4. Less mark to the lower in the
mark in the band. repetitive use of vocabulary would be necessary for the highest mark band.
in the band.

Band A4 – 7 marks Band C4 – 10 marks Band B4 – 6 marks

48
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 49

SENTENCE STRUCTURE TEXT STRUCTURE


& PUNCTUATION & ORGANISATION

Yesterday, Guiness World Records made a Local 10 year old a record breaker.
The record, Continuous Trampolining, stood at 2 days, 3 hours and 23 minutes
– a terific feat achived by 2004 Hurdles olympic gold medal winner, Iva
range of Winningstreak was 18 years of age at the time of her record breaking bouncing
punctuation (A5): spree.
dash
Morgan Jump, the local child who beat the record, was still trampolining when
commas to mark
our reporter got there. Beads of sweat trickling down his forhead , he looked
phrases
more determined than anyone that our reporter had ever seen before. He was a contrast within
omission
member of his village (Balahanna) trampolining and athletics club but, paragraph supports focus
apostrophes
apparently, had never bounced non-stop for anywhere near as long , although (B5)
he had the local record at 2 hours and 32 minutes.
Our other reporter, James Cooper , travelled to Winton, the home of the ex-
record holder, Iva Winningstreak, to find her glaring at the TV Screen. Now 21,
she thinks she could beat this “little lucky kid” easily. On the TV she was glaring chronology interrupted
focus of sentence at, was live footage from Morgan’s house. “ I ’ ve searched all of the channels on for effect (B5): inclusion
varied for emphasis my <digi-box>,” she told our guy at her house angrily, “But I still cannot find of Iva’s reaction
(A5) any channels which don ’ t have that irritating kid on it except for <channel 1> and
<channel 2>. I didn’t get a response to my record anything like that!”
When our reporter kindly explained that it was because he was so young, Iva
turned red and glared at him, so he hurriedly thanked her for her time and
range of punctuation exited swiftly.
(A5): varied paragraph length
Meanwhile, back at Morgan ’s house, In his backyard to be exact, 4 days, 22
speech marks and structure (B5)
hours and 7 minutes in his record breaking bounce, he exhaustedly threw in the
possessive
towel to meet a huge round of applause. While Medics made sure he wasn’t
apostrophes suffering from dehydration ( he had been eating energy food and drinking <a
brackets sports drink>), We interviewed his mother. She told us that it had all started
when he wouldn’t come in for supper and he had refused to stop bouncing.
When he explained to his mum that he was going for the World record, she
didn’t believe him and told him not to be silly, but after 8 hours
controlled use of
of bouncing without even breaking sweat, she started to believe him.
several subordinate
clauses (A5) We would have interviewed him, but after almost 5 days with no sleep, we structure controlled
decided to let him rest in peace. across text (B5): return
So instead, we interviewed the Guiness world record representative at his to Morgan’s story
word order to create home. He was flabbergasted by this ‘Trampolining Triumph’ and told our
emphasis (A5) newspaper that: “ What this young man did in the past few days was an
incredible feat of endurance. The fact that this was achived by a ten year old is
beyond belief, but true!”

sentence variation So there you are then: The impossible proved possible by a ten year old.
(A5): short sentence Will anybody beat him ??
for effect Next week, keep reading for the NTA’s (National trampolining association)
paragraph focus (B5):
reaction to this epic Record as well as interviewing Morgan Jump. Remember,
reference to next issue
this story is exclusive to us!

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT TEXT STRUCTURE


STRUCTURE & Adaptation to chosen newspaper readership includes exaggeration for
& ORGANISATION
PUNCTUATION effect (flabbergasted, impossible proved possible, epic Record ),
characterisation (I still cannot find any channels which don’t have that
Summary irritating kid on it except for ‹channel 1›) and address to reader (keep
Summary
reading, exclusive to us) (C5).
Variation in focus of Control of overall text
sentences and word order, The portrayal of Iva’s jealousy (glaring, angrily, turned red) structure, shown by
and the controlled use of emphasises the positive image of Morgan (determined, refused to stop interruption of events for
several subordinate clauses, bouncing) (C5). effect, indicates award in
give evidence for award in Stylistic features support adaptation of newspaper form: Band B5. This feature,
Band A5. Accurate use of colloquial phrases (threw in the towel, rest in peace), casual combined with the placing
a range of punctuation language (she told our guy), patterning (record breaking bouncing of ideas for contrast and
helps to clarify meaning spree) (C5). clear paragraph focus,
and confirms the award of secures the award of the
the top mark. Summary highest mark.
In this successful and entertaining newspaper report about a
trampolining record, the writer adapts the newspaper form and style to
appeal to a chosen readership. The control of viewpoint encourages the
reader to interpret the characters in a particular way. These features, in
combination, provide ample evidence for the highest mark (Band C5).

Band A5 – 8 marks Band C5 – 12 marks Band B5 – 8 marks

49
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 50

Handwriting examples

Example awarded 1 mark

The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing.
However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven.

50
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 51

Example awarded 1 mark

The handwriting is legible and shows some features of regularity in size and spacing.
However, overall the script is disjointed and uneven.

51
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 52

Example awarded 2 marks

Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are
usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation.

52
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 53

Example awarded 2 marks

Overall, the handwriting is regular with some flow and movement. Letters and words are
usually appropriate in size and position but there is some variation.

53
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 54

Example awarded 3 marks

The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed.
The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader.

54
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 55

Example awarded 3 marks

The handwriting is consistent and fluent with letters and words appropriately placed.
The handwriting maintains a personal style to engage the reader.

55
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 56

BLANK PAGE

56
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 57

The shorter task: Charity Choice

In this prompt, pupils are asked to imagine that their teacher has asked them to help decide on
a class charity. The task is to write a speech with the purpose of persuading classmates to
support their choice. Three illustrated charity options are presented, but it is clear that pupils
are free to decide on their own selection. The planning space helps with decision making and
encourages the writer to think about how to persuade their class. Better performances are
distinguished by the use of carefully constructed sentences, precise vocabulary and a convincing
viewpoint within a style of address that effectively persuades the classmates to share the
concerns and convictions of the speech-maker.

Charity Choice
Imagine that your class is going to collect some money to give to
charity. Your teacher wants the class to decide which charity to
support.

It could be:
A charity to help A charity to buy
endangered animals books for children in
other countries

A charity to help
the local children’s club Your own idea

Your task is to write a short speech to persuade your class


to support your choice of charity.

PLANNING
My choice of charity is

Words and phrases to persuade your class about your choice:

57
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 58

Mark scheme for the shorter task: Charity Choice

SECTION D SENTENCE STRUCTURE, PUNCTUATION AND TEXT ORGANISATION


Assessment focuses: vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect
write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences
construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs

Band D1 ● Clauses usually grammatically accurate, mostly joined with and, then, so. Some simple sentences, often
a brief sequence starting with subject + verb (We need). Some connections between sentences,
eg pronouns (The animals / they).
● Sentences sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops.
1 mark

Band D2 ● Simple connectives and, but, or, so, when link clauses. Subjects and verbs frequently repeated (It is).
Noun phrases mostly simple (the forest) with simple expansion (the new buildings). Some sentences
expanded with simple adverbials (now, at school). Connections between sentences built up (no more of
them).
● Full stops, capital letters, exclamation marks and question marks mostly accurate; commas used in lists.
2 marks

Band D3 ● Sentences are mostly grammatically sound. Some subordination, eg because, if (if we give our money).
Adverbials (when we decide) and expanded noun phrases (the first charity on the scene) vary
construction of sentences. Varied modals (could, might, would). Tense choice is generally consistent
and appropriate. Some variation in subjects (the panda, bamboo, their babies). Ideas developed within
sections. Connections between ideas maintained through ongoing reference (another example).
● Most sentences correctly demarcated; some commas mark phrases or clauses.
3 marks

Band D4 ● Simple and complex sentences with varied connectives, eg which, until, although (a mosquito net
which costs about £15). Expanded phrases and clauses express ideas economically (who don’t have
access to books or a proper education). Main ideas supported by organisation of sentences and/or
sections of text (I hope this has made you think).
● Range of punctuation used, almost always correctly, eg brackets, dashes, colons.
4 marks

58
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 59

SECTION E COMPOSITION AND EFFECT


Assessment focuses: write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts
produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose

Band E1 ● A short series of observations or comments about the selected charity, or a list of its attributes.
● Detail sometimes included, eg simple description (no food to eat).
1 mark

Band E2 ● An informative account; content may include brief coverage of several aspects (cutting down trees,
better jobs). Some features may be listed and/or repetitive. Some simple appeal (please help).
● Writing shows evidence of viewpoint, eg evaluative comment (really good).
● Some vocabulary describes selected charity (active, special) although other references are general
(some money, their things).
2–3 marks

Band E3 ● Coverage is balanced, eg includes several aspects relating to the charity with development / examples
(pencils for children who want to draw). Detail supports informative and/or persuasive purpose (honey
bees, collecting small bits of cloth).
● Viewpoint established and maintained, eg the writer’s positive attitude to selected charity is evident
(help them live a normal life).
● Some straightforward stylistic features used to support purpose, eg description (speeding cars, dirty
and muddy).
4–5 marks

Band E4 ● Adaptation for reader, eg direct appeal (you could save; you know how they feel). Thorough coverage.
● Viewpoint established and controlled, eg suggests writer’s knowledge of and confidence in selected
charity (not many are mating, provide a clean water supply).
● Some stylistic features add emphasis and interest, eg emotive appeal (vandalising, dehydrated),
informative vocabulary (remote, predators) and rhetorical questions.
6–7 marks

Band E5 ● Reader and purpose inform choice and placing of content, eg phrase for persuasive impact placed for
final appeal (What would it be like with no club?).
● Viewpoint well controlled and convincing, eg selection of detail to encourage reader to support the
chosen charity (One species of tiger has only 36 left in the world).
● A range of stylistic features, eg patterning (millions died, thousands injured, a few survivors), word
play, alliteration.
8 marks

59
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 60

SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT


ORGANISATION

My name is sarah and I would like to donate money


simple noun phrases
to charity My choice of charity is endangered animals. simple pronoun
(D2)
references build
animals are just like human they should be loved and connections (D2)
cared for. when I get the money I will be saveing the
simple connectives
(D2) live of the animals like polar Bears, tigers, Panda’s,
elphant’s and red panda’s. we want anmals to stay fit commas used in list (D2)

noun phrases with and heltly not old and dieing so join in the charity and
simple expansion help rase inuf to help the endengered speches . Thank
(D2) sentence demarcation
you for listening to my speech.
(D2)

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT


STRUCTURE,
PUNCTUATION & Speech gives brief coverage of the animal charity with limited
TEXT ORGANISATION development (saveing the live of the animals) and listing (E2).

Summary Some evaluative comment is evident (just like human, should be


loved and cared for) (E2).
Simple connectives,
together with simple Word choice mostly general (inuf ), with some simple description
noun phrases and the ( fit and heltly) (E2).
occasional use of
expansion indicate award Summary
in Band D2. Some
accurate sentence This simple speech about a charity for endangered animals includes
demarcation, evidence of the writer’s positive viewpoint, indicating award in Band E2. Greater
commas used in a list and evidence of descriptive word choice and slightly more development of
connection within the content would be necessary for award of the higher mark in the band.
text support the mark.

Band D2 – 2 marks Band E2 – 2 marks

60
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 61

SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT


ORGANISATION

simple noun phrases I think that our class should raise money for sports for
(D2) accurate sentence
the nation. Because the money that we raise, can
demarcation (D2)
help Other people and our school !

noun phrases with Sports for the nation gets people of all ages to
simple expansion become more active and healthy! They provide
(D2)
everywhere around England whith sports equipment connection built up
between sentences (D2)
simple adverbial and tips to help you keep active.
(D2)
so that ’s why I think our class should sponser sports
for the nation. To keep England healthy and active!

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT


STRUCTURE,
PUNCTUATION & Limited coverage with occasional development of content (tips to
TEXT ORGANISATION help you keep active); includes simple appeal (that’s why) (E2).

Summary Writer’s viewpoint apparent (can help Other people and our school)
(E2).
Use of noun phrases,
some with expansion, and Some word choice is general (money, people) (E2); some attempts to
a simple adverbial suggest use formal language (provide, equipment, sponser) (above E2).
award in Band D2.
Connections between
sentences and evidence of Summary
mostly accurate sentence
demarcation confirm In this straightforward speech about a sports charity, the writer offers
award in the band. a brief description of the charity’s good work. Together with some
careful word choices, this gives sufficient evidence for the higher mark
in Band E2.

Band D2 – 2 marks Band E2 – 3 marks

61
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 62

SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT


ORGANISATION

H ello, i’m Bethan and i’m here to discuss the charity


of my choice.
subordination (D3)
The charity I will be supporting is the charity which will
help pay for books in countrys where they have nothing.

adverbials (D3) The reason I chose this charity is because here in


england we have schools, books and we have development of an idea
(D3)
a nice warm house over our heads , but over there ,
expanded noun there is abosolutly nothing. ongoing reference (D3)
phrases (D3)
I am asking you to vote for my charity because I would
like to make a change to the childrens lifes who have
nothing. accurate sentence
varied modals (D3)
demarcation (D3)
All the money that is raised will help a number of
familys, just £1 could buy a blanket for a family to sleep
in. T hank you and please vote for my charity.

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT


STRUCTURE,
PUNCTUATION & Development includes explanation (The reason I chose) and detail
TEXT ORGANISATION used for persuasive purpose (warm house, just £1) (E3).

Summary Positive point of view established (like to make a change) (E3); focus
of charity unclear (books, blanket) (below E3).
Sentence variety, in the
form of subordination, Repetition supports persuasion (nothing, abosolutly nothing, who
expanded noun phrases, have nothing); pronouns for address to class (we, our) (E3).
adverbials and varied
modals, gives evidence for
Band D3. The mark is
confirmed by the Summary
maintenance of connection
and development within This charity appeal seeks to persuade the class through content to
sections of the text, interest. The use of some straightforward stylistic features is suited to
together with mostly the form of a speech. A more consistent focus on the charity’s
accurate sentence purpose, to maintain viewpoint, would be necessary for the higher
demarcation. mark in the band.

Band D3 – 3 marks Band E3 – 4 marks

62
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 63

SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT


ORGANISATION

subordination (D3) T he charity I think we should give the money to is the


youth club. It would be a fun place to meet friends secure sentence
demarcation (D3)
and have a chat. You could meet knew people who
expanded noun live in the village or nearby. If you’re bored , you would comma used to mark
phrases (D3) clause (D3)
have somewere were you can have fun and keep out
of troble. The money we donate could go towards connection through
pool tables, air hockey and even giving a layer of ongoing reference (D3)
variation in subjects
(D3) paint to bighten the place up! The youth club would
also be a great thing to have in the community. Maybe
varied modals (D3) if your just a bit fed up of your brothers or sisters you idea development (D3)
could come to the youth club and chill out without
having brothers or sisters anoying you .
adverbials (D3)
I think this would be a great cause ! Thank you for
listening.

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT


STRUCTURE,
PUNCTUATION & Points to persuade the classmates about the personal benefits
TEXT ORGANISATION resulting from supporting the charity are presented (meet knew
people, have fun) and developed (fed up of your brothers or sisters)
Summary (E3).

Use of subordination, The writer’s enthusiasm for the youth club is maintained (a fun
expanded noun phrases place, great cause) (E3).
and adverbials, together
with varied subjects and Conversational language choices support persuasive purpose
modal verbs indicates (a chat, a bit fed up, chill out) (E3).
award in Band D3.
Secure demarcation, with Summary
the use of a comma to
mark a clause, and some Coverage of the advantages gained by selecting the youth club charity
development of ideas and offers persuasion and results in a balanced speech. These
references linking features, together with a sustained viewpoint and informal word
through the text confirm choices to interest the class, justify the award of the higher mark in
the mark. Band E3.

Band D3 – 3 marks Band E3 – 5 marks

63
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 64

SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT


& ORGANISATION

Our class have been thinking about a certain charity to


varied connectives
(D4)
raise money for. Although many charitys are easily good organisation supports
enough, I believe that the charity that we should put our emphasis on main idea
(D4)
money towards is Cancer Research!

Many people are diagnosed with cancer every month


expansion for
economical and so far, no-one has found a cure for it. Cancer range of punctuation
expression (D4) effects families greatly and causes grief and hardship. (D4):
commas to mark a
But , with our help , these families can live happily phrase
without fear of loved ones dying . omission apostrophe
short, simple commas to mark a
statement for effect We can save thousands of lives! But , if we don ’ t help , clause
(D4) capital letters for name
more people will die and families will grieve even more. of charity
We SHOULD help them; make their lives happy and
complex sentences joyous!
(D4)
This is why I think we should put our money towards
this outstanding charity, Cancer Research . Please,
take my ideas into account and contemplate them.
Thankyou!

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT


STRUCTURE,
PUNCTUATION & Content is adapted by selection of a theme for developed coverage
TEXT ORGANISATION (effects families greatly, families can live happily). Direct appeal to
classmates emphasises the consequences of their decision (with our
Summary help, if we don’t help) (E4).

Evidence of varied The writer is knowledgeable (no-one has found a cure for it);
connectives, economical admiration for the charity (outstanding) is evident (E4).
expression and complex
sentences, together with a Stylistic choices for emotive appeal (grief and hardship, joyous);
simple sentence for effect vocabulary supports confident address (easily good enough, I
suggest award in Band believe, contemplate) (E4).
D4. The range of
punctuation marks used Summary
to clarify meaning, and
organisation of ideas in The content of this charity speech is adapted by the writer’s selection
the text confirm the of a particular theme, informative explanation and clear expression of
award of the top mark. strongly-held feelings. These features combine to persuasive effect,
giving the impression of purposeful spoken delivery and meriting the
higher mark in Band E4.

Band D4 – 4 marks Band E4 – 7 marks

64
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 65

SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION & TEXT


ORGANISATION
Hello 6D,
My name is Barinder and I would like to persuade you
into supporting the endangered animals charity with
the money that we hope to raise. There are many
varied connectives reasons for my choice and I am going to tell you
(D4)
about them today.

My first valid reason is that us humans are the reason


that many endangered animals are so scarce. For us
to get paper, wood and other tree based products , text organisation:
expanded phrases section develops a main
for economical many trees have to be cut down. However , those idea (D4)
expression (D4) huge plants aren ’ t just trees, they ’ re the natural
home of animals ! By supporting this charity we can
give back thousands of trees and other much needed
habitats for endangered animals.
range of punctuation
My second and last reason is that if beautiful animals (D4):
omission apostrophes
such as elephants and pandas carried on being commas to mark
endangered with no help, they might well become divisions
exclamation mark
extinct! Don ’ t you want your children and question mark
grandchildren to witness natures beauty ? If you do ,
complex sentences supporting this charity bring each and every one of us
(D4)
into a brighter future.

So I hope you all agree with me that supporting this


charity, benifits the long history of the animals and
their future too. Also it helps us too, so that these truly
beautiful but endangered creatures can be seen long
after we die. So supporting endangered animals from
extinction, supports the whole world.

SENTENCE COMPOSITION & EFFECT


STRUCTURE,
PUNCTUATION & Question placed for persuasive impact after reasoned argument
TEXT ORGANISATION (Don’t you want your children and grandchildren to witness natures
beauty?); final appeal forms connection with question (long after we
Summary die) (E5).

Award in Band D4 is Viewpoint convinces by suggesting writer’s sense of urgency about


indicated by the presence the problem (so scarce, might well become extinct) (E5).
of complex sentences,
varied connectives, Phrases used through the text emphasise stylistically the scale and
expanded phrases for importance of the issue (huge plants, thousands of trees, long history,
economy and the whole world) (E5).
grouping of ideas in the
text. The mark is Summary
confirmed by evidence of
a range of correctly used In this effective speech, the writer’s rationale for wishing to support
punctuation. an endangered animal charity is persuasively displayed through a
combination of informed explanation and direct emotional appeal to
involve the class. With a style that conveys the writer’s personal
strength of feeling, the piece justifies the award of the top mark,
Band E5.

Band D4 – 4 marks Band E5 – 8 marks

65
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 66

The spelling test

The following conventions should be followed when marking spelling:

■ if more than one attempt is made, it must be clear which version the pupil wishes to be
marked

■ spellings can be written in upper or lower case, or a mixture of the two

■ if a word has been written with the correct sequence of letters but these have been separated
into clearly divided components, with or without a dash, the mark is not awarded

■ if a word has been written with the correct sequence of letters but an apostophe or hyphen
has been inserted, the mark is not awarded.

The words omitted from the pupils’ spelling test are those printed in bold in the version below.

Boomerangs
The dimensions of boomerangs depend
on where they come from and their function .

Most boomerangs seen today are typically for


Boomerangs are amazing! What seems to be a tourists or used in contests. An international
simple bit of wood can be thrown away from competition is held every other year.
you and then come right back and land in your hand.
The technique for throwing a boomerang has five parts:
A boomerang is actually a wooden tool used for many
The grip: the easiest way to grip the boomerang
different purposes . The Australian Aboriginal
is between your thumb and first finger.
people have used boomerangs for many thousands of years:
The throw: always throw your boomerang overarm. When
as weapons for hunting and against enemies in
thrown correctly , it will fly in a circle.
battle, as musical instruments and as toys.
The throwing angle: the boomerang should be nearly
Some tribal boomerangs are inscribed or vertical when thrown. Holding the
painted with designs which are significant to
boomerang flat will cause it to fly in dangerous
their owners. swoops and dives.

Make an adjustment for wind:


the breeze will help to bring it back with
greater precision .
The catch: use both of your hands in a
clapping motion.

Only attempt to catch the boomerang while it


is slowly hovering towards you and is below shoulder height.

2 3

66
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 67

Quick reference mark scheme for the spelling test

1. simple 11. competition

2. purposes 12. easiest

3. enemies 13. correctly

4. instruments 14. vertical

5. tribal 15. swoops

6. significant 16. adjustment

7. dimensions 17. breeze

8. function 18. precision

9. typically 19. clapping

10. tourists 20. attempt

Scoring spelling

Markers will record the total number of words spelt correctly, out of 20, in the box on the cover
of the shorter writing task and spelling test booklet.

The conversion of the spelling test mark, from out of 20 words to out of 7 marks, will be done
automatically when the total score out of 20 is entered into the online mark system.

If the spelling test is being marked without the use of the online mark system the spelling mark,
out of 20, has to be converted to a mark out of 7, using the conversion table below.

Number of Spelling
correct words test mark

0 0

1– 3 1

4–6 2

7– 9 3

10 –12 4

13 –15 5

16 –18 6

19 – 20 7

67
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 68

68
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page 69

69
2011 Caves Markscheme_ 20XX ODG Marks Reserve.qxd 21/12/2010 12:55 Page obc4

Qualifications and Curriculum


Development Agency
53–55 Butts Road
Earlsdon Park
Coventry
CV1 3BH

Telephone 0300 303 3013


Textphone 0300 303 3012
Fax 0300 303 3014
Email assessments@qcda.gov.uk
www.qcda.gov.uk

For more copies:


QCDA Orderline, PO Box 29, Norwich NR3 1GN
Tel: 0300 303 3015 Fax: 0300 303 3016
http://orderline.qcda.gov.uk email: orderline@qcda.gov.uk
QCDA/11/5231 (Mark scheme pack)
QCDA/11/5239 (EMA pack) 1059.01

You might also like

pFad - Phonifier reborn

Pfad - The Proxy pFad of © 2024 Garber Painting. All rights reserved.

Note: This service is not intended for secure transactions such as banking, social media, email, or purchasing. Use at your own risk. We assume no liability whatsoever for broken pages.


Alternative Proxies:

Alternative Proxy

pFad Proxy

pFad v3 Proxy

pFad v4 Proxy