Tool: Developing Self Awareness and

Awareness of others
To be able to lead well means knowing how we respond in different situations and how others respond.
This means we have insight into our own and others strengths and weaknesses and how this affects
our abilities to deal with challenges as they arise. As we develop our self awareness in terms of what
triggers our emotional responses, we are then able to make different responses to others as we aren’t
locked into an old pattern of responding. All leaders who want to improve their abilities to respond well
in times of change need to develop their self-awareness and their ability to tune into others. Daniel
Goleman calls this “Emotional Intelligence” (EQ). He developed several dimensions to his approach.
These are listed below. Unlike IQ which can improve with age, but remains relatively stable, you can
improve your “EQ” by developing your abilities to tune into yourself and others. It’s not easy or quick
and takes perseverance, critical self reflection, honest feedback from others and behaviour change and
daily practice.

Here are some steps to follow

1. For each statement on the checklist below, circle a number in the YOU column…

1 = LEAST typical of you to 5 = MOST Typical of You

The column marked OTHERS is designed to get feedback on how other people who know and work
with you, rate you. Leave it blank until you decide who to approach, or step into their shoes and fill it in
now base on how you THINK they see you.

2. After you score the checklist, track back and mark statements you think may give you insight
into your current emotional style. Then reflect on:

 Why is this statement intriguing, significant or worrying for me?

 What does it say to me about my current emotional approach and how I current handle
difficult conversations?

 What development needs or other issues about your management style does this bring up
for you?

Here is a selected set of statements

SELF AWARENESS – when you can read and interpret your own emotions, strengths, limitations,
values and purpose, as well as recognize the link between thinking, feelings and their impact on
every behaviour, choice and decision you make
YOU How typical are these behaviours of you? Comments OTHERS
/Feedback
1-2-3-4-5 I know which emotions I’m feeling and why 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I realize the link between thinking, feeling, and what 1-2-3-4-5
I do and say
1-2-3-4-5 I recognize how my feelings affect my performance 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I have guiding awareness of my values and goals 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I am reflective and learn from experience 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I am open to candid feedback and new 1-2-3-4-5
perspectives, continuous learning and self
development
1-2-3-4-5 I am able to show a sense of humour and 1-2-3-4-5
perspective about myself
1-2-3-4-5 I present as self assured and have presence 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I canvas unpopular views and go out on a limb for 1-2-3-4-5
what I see is right
1-2-3-4-5 I am decisive and can make decisions under 1-2-3-4-5
pressure and despite uncertainties
SELF MANAGEMENT – the ability to display self control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness and
adaptability
1-2-3-4-5 I manage impulsive feelings and distressing 1-2-3-4-5
emotions well
1-2-3-4-5 I stay composed, positive and unflappable 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I think clearly and stay focused under pressure 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I act ethically 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I build trust through reliability and authenticity 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I admit my mistakes 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I confront unethical behaviours in others 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I take tough stands even if unpopular 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I meet commitments and keep promises 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I am organized and careful in my work 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I can handle multiple demands well 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I adapt my responses to fit fluid situations 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I am flexible in how I see events 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I seek fresh ideas from a variety of sources 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I entertain original solutions to problems 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I generate new ideas 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I take fresh perspectives and risks in my thinking 1-2-3-4-5
SELF MOTIVATION – This dimension reflects on your ability to work towards achievements,
commitment, take initiative and show optimism
1-2-3-4-5 I am results oriented and have a high need to meet 1-2-3-4-5
objectives and standards
1-2-3-4-5 I set challenging goals and take calculated risks 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I pursue information to reduce uncertainty and find 1-2-3-4-5
ways to do better
1-2-3-4-5 I learn ways of improving my personal performance 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I make sacrifices to meet larger organisational goals 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I find a sense of purpose in the larger organisational 1-2-3-4-5
mission
1-2-3-4-5 I can use my workgroup’s core values in making 1-2-3-4-5
decisions and clarifying my choices
1-2-3-4-5 I seek opportunities to fulfill my organisation’s 1-2-3-4-5
purpose
1-2-3-4-5 I act on opportunities as they arise 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I pursue goals beyond what’s expected 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I use the rules where necessary to get the job done 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I mobilize others through creative efforts 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I persist in seeking goals despite obstacles and 1-2-3-4-5
setbacks
1-2-3-4-5 I operate from hope of success rather then fear of 1-2-3-4-5
failure
1-2-3-4-5 I see setbacks as due to circumstance rather than 1-2-3-4-5
unchangeable personal flaws

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT – This dimension relates to your abilities to empathise with

others, take an interest in others concerns, build others up and utilize diversity and political
awareness
1-2-3-4-5 I am attentive to emotional cues from others 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I listen well 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I show interest, sensitivity and an understanding of 1-2-3-4-5
others perspectives
1-2-3-4-5 I assist others based on my understanding of their 1-2-3-4-5
needs and feelings
1-2-3-4-5 I understand my clients/staff’s needs and match my 1-2-3-4-5
services to them appropriately
1-2-3-4-5 I seek ways to increase others’ satisfaction and 1-2-3-4-5
commitment
1-2-3-4-5 I offer appropriate and timely assistance 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I grasp others’ perspectives and act as a trusted 1-2-3-4-5
advisor
1-2-3-4-5 I acknowledge and reward others’ strengths and 1-2-3-4-5
accomplishments
1-2-3-4-5 I offer useful feedback and collaboratively identify 1-2-3-4-5
needs for future development
1-2-3-4-5 I mentor, give timely coaching and offer projects 1-2-3-4-5
that challenge and foster others skills
1-2-3-4-5 I respect and relate well to people from varied 1-2-3-4-5
backgrounds
1-2-3-4-5 I understand diverse worldviews and am sensitive 1-2-3-4-5
to differences
1-2-3-4-5 I see diversity as opportunity 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I challenge bias and intolerance 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I can accurately read key power relationships 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I detect crucial social networks 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I understand the forces that shape views and 1-2-3-4-5
actions of staff, clients and stakeholders
1-2-3-4-5 I can accurately read organisational and external 1-2-3-4-5
realities
SOCIAL AWARENESS – This critical dimension involves being able to influence and
communicate well with others, manage conflict, display leadership and act as a change agent
1-2-3-4-5 I build rapport well 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I am skilled in bringing people on board 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I can adapt my communication style to appeal to 1-2-3-4-5
different listeners
1-2-3-4-5 I use direct and indirect influence to build 1-2-3-4-5
consensus and support
1-2-3-4-5 I am effective in give and take and pick up on 1-2-3-4-5
emotional cues in messages from others
1-2-3-4-5 I deal with difficult issues in a straightforward way 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I listen well, seek mutual understanding and 1-2-3-4-5
welcome full information sharing
1-2-3-4-5 I foster open information and stay receptive to bas 1-2-3-4-5
and good information
1-2-3-4-5 I handle difficult people and tense situations with 1-2-3-4-5
diplomacy and tact
1-2-3-4-5 I spot potential conflicts, bring disagreements into 1-2-3-4-5
the open and help deescalate
1-2-3-4-5 I encourage dialogue and open conversation 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I try for win – win situations 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I inspire others 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I can articulate and build enthusiasm for a shared 1-2-3-4-5
vision
1-2-3-4-5 I bring myself forward to lead as needed, regardless 1-2-3-4-5
of my position
1-2-3-4-5 I guide the performance of others while maintaining 1-2-3-4-5
their accountability
1-2-3-4-5 I lead by example 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I recognize the needs for change and work at 1-2-3-4-5
removing obstacles
1-2-3-4-5 I challenge the status-quo to acknowledge the need 1-2-3-4-5
for change
1-2-3-4-5 I champion change efforts and enroll others 1-2-3-4-5
1-2-3-4-5 I model the change I expect of others 1-2-3-4-5

After you score the checklist (and you have others score also), track back and mark
statements that you think would give you some insight into your current emotional style. Then
reflect on:

 What stands out? Is there any particular statement that is intriguing, significant or
worrying? Why? What could I do about these?

_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________

 What are the trends/areas in common? What is important about these?

_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________


What does it say to me about my current emotional approach and how I current
handle change and leading others in times of change?
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The Scales and Clusters of the Emotional
Competence Inventory Version 2
http://www.eiconsortium.org/pdf/Assessing_Emotional_Intelligence_Competencies.pdf

The Self-Awareness cluster concerns knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources,
and intuitions. The Self-Awareness cluster contains three competencies:
 Emotional Self-Awareness: Recognizing one's emotions and their effects
 Accurate Self-Assessment: Knowing one's strengths and limits
 Self-Confidence: A strong sense of one's self-worth and capabilities

Self-Management cluster refers to managing ones' internal states, impulses, and

resources. The Self-Management cluster contains six competencies:
 Emotional Self-Control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check
 Transparency: Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
 Adaptability: Flexibility in handling change
 Achievement Orientation: Striving to improve or meeting a standard of excellence
 Initiative: Readiness to act on opportunities
 Optimism: Seeing the positive aspects of things and the future

Social Awareness cluster refers to how people handle relationships and awareness of
others’ feelings, needs, and concerns. The Social Awareness cluster contains these
competencies:
 Empathy: Sensing others' feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in
their concerns
 Organizational Awareness: Reading a group's emotional currents and power
relationships
 Service Orientation: Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers' needs

Relationship Management or Social Skills cluster concerns the skill or adeptness at

inducing desirable responses in others. The Social Skills cluster contains six competencies:
 Developing Others: Sensing others' development needs and bolstering their abilities
 Inspirational Leadership: Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups
 Influence: Wielding effective tactics for persuasion
 Change Catalyst: Initiating or managing change
 Conflict Management: Negotiating and resolving disagreements
 Teamwork & Collaboration: Working with others toward shared goals; Creating
group synergy in pursuing collective goals and applying participatory decision making.

http://www.eiconsortium.org/pdf/Assessing_Emotional_Intelligence_Competencies.pdf

http://www.sdcity.edu/Portals/0/CMS_Editors/MESA/PDFs/EmotionalIntelligence.pdf

online EI assessment - http://www.maetrix.com.au/meit/eitest.html

Further reading
Antonakis, J., Ashkanasy, N. M., & Dasborough, M. T. (2009). Does leadership need
emotional intelligence? The Leadership Quarterly, 20(2), 247-261.
Ashkanasy, N. M., & Daus, C. S. (2002). Emotion in the workplace: The new challenge for
managers. [Article]. Academy of Management Executive, 16(1), 76-86.
Blattner, J., & Bacigalupo, A. (2007). Using emotional intelligence to develop executive
leadership and team and organizational development. Consulting Psychology Journal:
Practice and Research, 59(3), 209-219.