Scribd
Upload
41 views2 pages

Nostalgia

Mary reflects on her decision to study psychology instead of music or theater in college. She discusses how psychology helped her understand her childhood depression and suicidal thoughts. It also helped her gain confidence by learning to make eye contact, have conversations, and smile. While she still wonders what life would have been like in other fields, she believes psychology was the right path and has given her tools to help others dealing with similar struggles.

Uploaded by

Jhunitz Lopez
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
41 views2 pages

Nostalgia

Mary reflects on her decision to study psychology instead of music or theater in college. She discusses how psychology helped her understand her childhood depression and suicidal thoughts. It also helped her gain confidence by learning to make eye contact, have conversations, and smile. While she still wonders what life would have been like in other fields, she believes psychology was the right path and has given her tools to help others dealing with similar struggles.

Uploaded by

Jhunitz Lopez
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 2

Travelling Back in Time

My friend uploaded pictures of the FG Choir and our Theater Arts Guild in high school.Thank you so
much,Nichie Balaga Taggart!Looking at the pictures sends me into a nostalgic drift. Had my mama
allowed me to pursue my admission to the Psychology,&Music programs in UPD I would have most
probably opted to take up music and theater acting, and who might have known, I might have had the
courage to pursue my passion--stage acting!

But I guess, I am really meant to embrace psychology. I had first took and passed in the qualifying exam
for the BS Zoology program in MSU but changed my mind at the very last minute and thought about
pursuing political science, but ended up taking the qualifying exam for the Psychology program! After all,
I have made up my mind when I was in grade six that I will become like Dr. Maxwell Maltz, the author of
the book my Mama gave me to help me...Power Psycho-Cybernetics. His book helped me understand
that I was not living a normal life and that by experiencing it myself, I can understand better kids who
are like me.Taas ayo ako mission sa una but when I took up psychology, I realized that understanding
oneself is the hardest thing to do! But anyway, with Dr. Maltz's book, I learned how to look into the eyes
of people, managed to carry casual conversations, and most importantly, to smile! Smiling was a
struggle for me before...only my Papa could make me laugh way back then. Cracking a joke was next to
impossible. But in MSU, with Maltz's book and of course God's miracles I've faced my dragons and slain
some of my monsters! Maybe I was challenged too when my Mama told me I can't go to UP Diliman
because I'm too shy and sickly to survive there. Da, gikulbaan hinoa ug samot ako Mama pag bargain nko
na sige, sa Marawi nalang ko kay naa ra sa Mindanao. I wanted to go somewhere far, where nobody
knows me. I got tired of living under the shadows of my Mama. Whenever people would see me, they'd
always recognize me to be my Mama's daughter and then they would expect me to be just like her, but I
wasn't. She has this overwhelming image and reputation in the schools I attended. She was known to be
confident and intellectually outstanding! I was not confident and I never wanted to talk about
intellectual abilities. I just wanted to learn but never be compared. And though they would say liwat ko
sa akong Mama except that I am too shy, I never wanted to be compared to her. I knew I was a different
person, apart from her although I wanted to be changed – to be sociable. The best place to work on with
my transformation is somewhere far, where I can build my own name and image. By God's grace,
somehow I made it. In MSU, I am called and identified by my name: Mary Jhunitz (although my name is
simply a combination of my parents' names, but at least I am Jhunitz, and not just the daughter of Jhun
and Nitz). It felt good! And though it was never as I had always thought, that I only get to hold
responsibilities in school because of my Mama’s reputation, I had the courage to face those who
doubted my abilities back at home…that I deserved the recognition and trust that were bestowed on me
by most people. :D

Somehow, the thought of what my life would have been had I not pursued Psychology still crosses my
mind. But I have never doubted the truth that I have always believed that I am on the right track. With
this field, I found the courage and the ability to look at my struggles in the eye! I understood my
childhood depression and suicidal tendency in my Physiological, and Clinical Psychology classes…that my
suicidal ideation and later, attempts were due to my depression brought about by my medications for
my bronchopneumonia. I have come to appreciate the thing that my Mama was telling me that I
miraculously survived considering my weak immune system and to be relatively mentally normal despite
all the medications I had since birth until I was six. My Mama and Papa had to make a decision when my
Pediatrician told them they can choose to either let me go or let me have my medications with a 95%
risk of impairing my mental ability, that is, I’d be mentally retarded. But Mama declared that the Holy
Infant will always keep me safe and decided to let me have the medications. Somehow, my mental
capacity remained relatively normal but I was struggling with my emotions (not to mention my
emotional Zodiac sign…hahaha). Psychology helped me through it… It’s God’s way of helping me deal
with this lifetime’s challenge! And miraculously, I have dealt with my suicidal tendency without any
medical interventions…only faith and determination! Someday, I hope to inspire other suicidal
individuals to believe that they too can overcome it. It wasn’t easy, the emptiness was so overwhelming
and death was so inviting…especially on tough times, with just my best friend who was there to listen
even when he could not understand why I was feeling that way…but spirituality, and the will to
overcome what you love the most (death=deliverance) and embrace that, which scares you
(life=suffering) makes the impossible probable (living=freedom)! :D

Looking back, I wouldn’t have changed a thing… I needed to fall, so I could stand stronger. I had to be
broken down into pieces so I would long to be whole and appreciate the journey to wholeness as each
missing piece is put into its proper place. Everything works for good to those who believe! But even my
faith has been tested by reason and science but God held me closer to Him with each step I took away
from Him. He is simply stubborn and He believes in me! And so I have faith that everything I went
through is plays a very important role in His great plan for me and the lives of the people I’ll come in
contact with. I will never stop making mistakes because I never want to stop learning from them. I am
not perfect, and so I am being a little considerate of myself. That’s the only way I would be able to
recognize that I am wrong, only then can I start learning from my mistakes. 

You might also like

pFad - Phonifier reborn

Pfad - The Proxy pFad of © 2024 Garber Painting. All rights reserved.

Note: This service is not intended for secure transactions such as banking, social media, email, or purchasing. Use at your own risk. We assume no liability whatsoever for broken pages.


Alternative Proxies:

Alternative Proxy

pFad Proxy

pFad v3 Proxy

pFad v4 Proxy