Are You Wining & Dining

Her for Sex?

Most men pay their girlfriends and wives like prostitutes—cash,
dinners, vacations, jewelry, cars, homes, and clothing—in exchange
for sex. Not only unnecessary and emasculating, such stupid male
behavior induces “purchased and entitled” women to fake their
orgasms.
Like a car, a woman will take you where you guide her—assuming
she’s a good match and you’re a good driver. Ignore her pings and
rattles, and she’ll stop operating, strand you, or put you in a ditch.

Grow a Pair of Balls … NOW!

What Men Will Learn From This Book
How to know in advance she’ll be safe for you, compatible with
you, and have real orgasms—so you don’t waste your time
The ins and outs of female genitalia—know how to please her!
How to seduce her without physical contact, money, or alcohol
Why she is more sexual than you, and why that saves you
money
Why she likes bad boys
How to make her crave you and not cheat on you

Early Praise for Under the Clitoral Hood

"A provocative read. Marc Rudov had me fuming one minute,
nodding the next. Any book that recognizes women as sexual
beings, who don't have to be bought or boozed for sex, has my
vote—especially when it describes the goods under the hood rather
well!"
Rebecca Rosenblat
Certified Sex Therapist, TV/Radio Host
www.DrDate.com

"Marc Rudov’s Under the Clitoral Hood helps empower a man looking
for a sincere woman—one attracted to his personality and dangling
manhood, not his wallet and credit cards. A man who knows his way
around a woman’s clitoris is a man who stands a good chance of
capturing her heart, too."
Py Kim Conant
Author, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract,
Satisfy, and Keep Your Man
www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com
Under the Clitoral Hood

Under the Clitoral Hood

How to Crank Her Engine
Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper CablesTM

Marc H. Rudov

MHR Enterprises
Los Gatos, CA

Copyright 2007 by Marc H. Rudov

Under the Clitoral Hood

Under the Clitoral Hood

How to Crank Her Engine
Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper CablesTM
By Marc H. Rudov

Published by:
MHR Enterprises
P.O. Box 33086
Los Gatos, CA 95031-3086
Marc@TheNoNonsenseMan.com
www.TheNoNonsenseMan.com

Copyright 2007 by Marc H. Rudov

All trademarks are properties of their respective owners.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or

transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical,
including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and
retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in
writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote
brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a
magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.

ISBN-13: PDF eBook ed. 978-0-9745017-2-7

ISBN-10: PDF eBook ed. 0-9745017-2-7

Library of Congress Data

Rudov, Marc H.,
under the clitoral hood: how to crank her engine without cash,
booze, or jumper cables/Marc H. Rudov
1st ed.
ISBN-13: 978-0-9745017-2-7 (PDF eBook)
ISBN-10: 0-9745017-2-7 (PDF eBook)
1. Relationship advice
2. Self-help
3. Romance advice
4. Sex

Library of Congress Control Number: 2006936781

Copyright 2007 by Marc H. Rudov

Under the Clitoral Hood

Lt. Lois Einhorn (Sean Young)

“Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your
life a living hell?”

Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey)

“Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but
thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call
sometime. Your number's still 9-1-1? Aaal-righty then.”

(From the movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, 1994)

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a trademark of Warner Bros.

Entertainment Inc. and Morgan Creek Productions

Copyright 2007 by Marc H. Rudov

Under the Clitoral Hood

Dedication

I have learned everything I know about women, inside and

out, from the intimacy I shared with them. As I explored these
women, they taught me much and also learned volumes about
themselves, men, and the fruits of peer relationships. Through
my varied experiences—positive and negative—I drew
fundamental conclusions about what truly arouses women.
And so, I thank all of them for making this book possible.

Copyright 2007 by Marc H. Rudov

Under the Clitoral Hood

Table of Contents

PREFACE vi

INTRODUCTION 1

CHAPTER 1: Safety First 4

It’s Inspection Time 4
The Blind date 5
The First Tumble 6

CHAPTER 2: Deference Backfires 9

Male Guilt 9
Chivalry and the Great Divide 10
The Source of Relationship Defects 14
The Cleft of Venus 17
Boozers Are Losers 19
Male Power 20

CHAPTER 3: The Power of Aural Sex 21

Canine Lingus 21
Her Ignition Switch 21
Cranking Her Ignition Switch 24
Why She Likes Bad Boys 26
Aural Vignettes 28

CHAPTER 4: Is She Faking It? 30

CHAPTER 5: Under the Clitoral Hood 34

Introduction 34
Know Her Engine 36

CHAPTER 6: The Test-Drive 39

Aural Before Oral 40
Oral Before Vaginal 41
The Final Lap 43
The Banana in the Tailpipe 43

CHAPTER 7: The Finish Line 45

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 46

REORDER INFORMATION 47

Copyright 2007 by Marc H. Rudov

Under the Clitoral Hood

PREFACE

Men are totally confused about women—not

because they are difficult to understand (they’re not),
but because our society grants them double standards:
Women are equal to men, deserving of equal pay; women
are helpless victims, entitled to special privileges and
rights. Hypocrisy? Nah.
Larry Summers was forced out as president of
Harvard University for postulating that women are
scarce in higher echelons of the sciences because,
perhaps, they are not well-suited. Instead of disproving
his hypothesis, like scientists, women worldwide
pilloried him mercilessly until he resigned.
Maureen Dowd, esteemed, liberal New York Times
columnist, penned a book called Are Men Necessary? As
Dowd traveled the US to promote her book, she found
auditoriums packed with women awaiting her misandric
message. David Letterman, host of CBS’s Late Show
with David Letterman, commented to guest Dr. Phil: “If a
man would write a book called ‘Are Women Necessary?’
he’d be killed.” Dr. Phil agreed.
On Friday, September 29, 2006, ABC’s 20/20 ran
an hour-long segment called “Gender: It’s Bigger Than

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Under the Clitoral Hood

Sex.” Hosts John Stossel and Deborah Roberts, and

correspondent Lynn Sherr, aggregated inputs from sex
experts LouAnn Brizendine and Laura Berman, maps of
the female and male brains, “experiments” with male
and female subjects, chats with smart women and
moronic men, and an inane exchange with Jenny
McCarthy, author and former Playboy centerfold, to
conclude and claim that women are more detail-oriented
and less sexual than men, and that men are weak
communicators, clueless about women, and mere
asterisks in childrearing. Total nonsense.
Then, one hour after the 20/20 segment ended,
Jessica Simpson appeared on The Tonight Show with
Jay Leno. Among other things, she proudly told Jay and
all of America that she is sexually frustrated because
she’s not getting any “action” right now.
Women constantly complain that they make only
70 cents for every dollar men earn. On May 27, 2005,
ABC’s John Stossel disproved this nonsense—read all
about it in my blog, in “Women Earn Less by Choice.”
Citing a recent study by Allianz Group, I
demonstrated in “Women to Rule Men by 2010” that
American women are far more successful than they care
to admit. In fact, according to Allianz, 33% more women
than men graduate from college, 60% of female MBAs

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Under the Clitoral Hood

outearn their husbands, 50% of stockholders are

female, and women will control 60% of US wealth in four
years.
Men must face and live with the plethora of
double standards and mixed messages, and see women
benefiting from them—especially women making good
money and demanding to be taken care of, too. As a
result, men find women impossible to work with, live
with, and approach for romance.
Ultimately, as depicted in the real-life illustration
below, this frustration finds its way into the bedroom, if
the bedroom is on the agenda at all. In the pages ahead,
I aim to expose and remove that frustration.

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Under the Clitoral Hood

INTRODUCTION

In 2004, I published The Man’s No-Nonsense

Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet
EarthTM. At that time, I swore I’d never write a how-to-
get-laid primer. But, now I’m doing just that.
Why the about-face? Two reasons. First, few men
know or care what really arouses females, who are more
sexual than men. Just as a handful of men win the Indy
500, a paucity of them can crank a woman’s engine—
consistently give her real, intense orgasms. Instead of
addressing her need to climax and her quest for a man
who can make it happen, the typical guy serenades her.
The second reason is that the misandric, entitled-
female climate has caused vitriol and distrust between
men and women, who either avoid all contact with each
other or meet only to “hook up” like animals. Few want
to have relationships, fewer are capable of doing so, and
most cannot enjoy sex with and satisfy each other.
Under the Clitoral Hood is unlike typical books for
men in the fornication genre: it doesn’t belittle or treat
women like sluts; it’s not a comprehensive manual that
depicts every sexual position and technique under the
sun. It teaches men how to get women to jump their

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Under the Clitoral Hood

bones—without buying them fancy dinners, using

alcohol to induce promiscuity, or employing vibrators
and sexual aids—jumper cables—to combat boredom or
compensate for performance inadequacy.
As I’ve written before, it is totally unnecessary for
men to buy sex. But, every man is socialized to reach for
his wallet in the presence of a pretty girl. Why? Because
he is taught—wrongly—that the male is more sexual
than the female and that, to enter her, he first must
swipe his credit card through her cleft of Venus.
Nonsense! It is total bullshit. Yet, men keep doing it.
In my article “Her Double-D’s Can Bankrupt
You,” I assert that a woman’s economic behavior in
dating (the first D) is a mirror image of what it will be in
divorce (the second D). Given that an average of 50% of
American marriages end in divorce and that wives bring
70% of divorce actions, a man is statistically doomed to
financial ruin when he says, “I do.” That’s the critical
reason the wining & dining mentality of men is idiotic: it
attracts golddiggers, leeches, prostitutes, and thieves.
To masochistically subject yourself to torture
makes zero sense. If you want a whore, go to a pro.
She’ll bang you for money, without the restaurants or
the ingratitude. If you’re attracted to thieves, move to
Denmark, which will steal your income at a tax rate of

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Under the Clitoral Hood

59% no incessant nagging, either. Why bring home a

whore or a thief? Why date one? Why marry one?
Indeed!
A macho man, whose ego is based on deferring to,
taking care of, protecting, and providing for a woman, is
only digging his own grave. The more he flexes his
machismo, the stronger he becomes, the deeper he digs,
and the more control he cedes to his “helpless” woman—
the one he mistakenly thinks needs “protecting.” But,
it’s pretty tough to feel manly at the bottom of a pit, with
dirt all over your head and no ladder, isn’t it?
Under the Clitoral Hood is based on my extensive
experiences, my observations and requests for advice
from my readers, and my respectable knowledge of the
legal system. It’s designed to teach you how to seduce a
real woman the natural way—using your personality
and sexual acumen—the way she wants it.
By following my tenets, you’ll optimize your
ability to find a reasonable, fair-minded, man-loving
woman—one who craves you for you. When finding such
a woman, you’ll know that the secret to “cranking her
engine”—without cash, booze, or jumper cables—lies
under her clitoral hood. So, let’s crack open this hood to
understand what’s happening inside.

Copyright 2007 by Marc H. Rudov 3

Under the Clitoral Hood

CHAPTER 1: Safety First

It’s Inspection Time

The guidance I provide in the following pages is
highly effective. The results will amaze you. You will
meet women who are stronger matches than before, and
your sex with them will be far better than what you are
experiencing today.
Like all success, however, success with women
comes at a price. That price is finding women who are
loving, giving, reciprocating, affectionate, amorous,
sexually skilled, and bereft of any psychological and
physiological maladies. In other words, she must be
reliable and safe. Never fail to perform the requisite smog
(nonsense) and safety inspections before driving her.
Most reproductive and civil rights in the USA—
and many countries—belong to women. A man not
safeguarding himself against misandric women who
would exploit this situation puts himself at great risk.
Accordingly, failing to perform a “safety inspection” of
each potential paramour is as dangerous as driving an
unsafe Formula 1TM car on an oilslick-laden track.
A man called into the Armstrong & Getty Show in
San Francisco to relate a shocking but all-too-common
story. He had met a woman at a party, where they found

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Under the Clitoral Hood

a room to have consensual sex. He decided she wasn’t

his cup of tea and didn’t call her afterwards. To avenge
his “faux pas,” she formally accused him of rape. Based
solely on her account of events, the police went to his
workplace, cuffed him in front of his coworkers, and put
him in jail. Eventually, she admitted to fabricating the
whole ordeal—thereby committing a felony—but was not
prosecuted. This is typical, and it can happen to you.
Let me reiterate: Never fail to perform the requisite smog
(nonsense) and safety inspections before driving her.

The Blind Date

If your first date is going to be a blind date—now
common in this Internet age—DO NOT meet her unless
both of you have approved each other’s visage through
your respective webcams (review my “NoNonsense Rules
of Internet Dating”). Only schmucks ignore this advice.
Be honest while webcamming, and pay attention
to her body language, facial expressions, and words. Did
you really like her? Did she really like you? If either
party is unsure, you probably shouldn’t meet.
Assuming the webcam session(s) float both of
your boats, it is time to meet. I strongly recommend
someplace cheap and quiet. First, you MUST get her
agreement that she will 1) meet you in a public place

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Under the Clitoral Hood

and 2) pay half the cost of whatever you two do or

consume.
Do not pick her up in your car, and do not
tolerate any of her immature nonsense about needing to
“feel special” when a man pays for her.
If she doesn’t agree to both of these terms—
meeting in a mutually convenient, inexpensive place and
paying half—end the dialogue. She’s an entitled bitch.

The First Tumble

The first time you climb into bed with a new
woman, you are putting yourself at risk, as you really
don’t know her. Do not engage in sexual intercourse
with her unless you use condoms and you are certain
that:
1. She is not a vindictive psycho who will call
911 afterwards to accuse you of assault or
rape—especially if you announce that you
don’t want to see her again or never call
her again
2. She has no sexually transmitted diseases:
herpes, HPV, chlamydia, AIDS, etc.
3. She is taking birth control
4. She does not want a child and will get an
abortion in case of an unintended
pregnancy—in other words, she is not
trying to entrap you into 18 years of child
support through maternity fraud.

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Under the Clitoral Hood

Regarding point #1, read my article “Will She Call

911 on You?” Also, ask her if she’s ever called 911 on a
guy before, and under what circumstances. Use your
trained powers of observation to judge her. If she begins
divulging clues about “abusive” guys in her past, get the
hell out of her house, immediately. Abuse is in her past
for a reason; don’t allow it to be in your present.
Confront her directly about point #2 (STDs) and
points #3 & #4 (birth control and accidental pregnancy).
Don’t wimp out! Look into her eyes when she answers
you. Is she telling the truth or lying?
Today’s emotionally disconnected society is a sea
of lies. Tread with caution. An acquaintance recently
told me that her female OB-GYN counseled her to
conceal her herpes from men—that’s right: a member of
the medical establishment advocated that one person
put another at risk. Disgusting! If you have an STD and
don’t inform your partners, shame on you.
Hollywood has made it acceptable and trendy to
produce bastard children. Family courts have endowed
a neat reward system for women who pop out bastards:
“Spread your legs; get a check.” So, you must ascertain
the likelihood that the woman you are banging will
fraudulently become an unwed mother. How? Look at
her life and her orientation. Ask yourself what she has

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Under the Clitoral Hood

to lose by becoming pregnant. If she has nothing to lose,

be afraid. Be very afraid.
It is highly unlikely (nothing is certain) a woman
will become an unwed mother if she has legitimate
children, strong family ties, respect in her community,
and a busy life. If she embraces the traditional concept
of shame, she won’t risk incurring alienation and
resentment from her children, parents, siblings, and
friends—and looking like a jackass whore with a baby
bump at the office and the fitness club.
If, however, she: 1) already has illegitimate
children, 2) has no professional future, or 3) is in her
late 40s and still childless, she is highly likely to
produce a bastard child. It’s cool. Angelina Jolie did it.
Katie Holmes did it. Disgrace is obsolete. The traditional
family is so yesterday. There’s child-support income for
18 years. Newsflash: This woman can be dangerous.
So, if you doubt her mental or emotional stability,
or suspect she sees you as a combination ATM/sperm
donor—even if you have no evidence but your sixth-
sense gives you an uneasy feeling—I advise you to halt
the foreplay and to go home. A half-hour of sleeping with
the enemy can lead to a lifetime of hell. The domestic-
violence and reproductive laws in the US are on her
side, not yours! You must grasp this.

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Under the Clitoral Hood

CHAPTER 2: Deference Backfires

Male Guilt
Thomas L. Friedman, New York Times columnist
and author of bestseller The World is Flat, wrote a
syndicated op-ed piece that ran on October 2, 2006. In
it, Friedman asserted that treating Muslims with
politically correct, kid-glove deference, instead of
challenging, engaging, and criticizing them, is insulting.
Conversely, holding them accountable as peers, as
adults, for all their terrorism, is a sign of respect.
Friedman’s message echoes my oft-expressed
disdain of male deference towards women. In “Playing
Abortion Chess,” I articulated my concept of male guilt
to explain the root of deference and why it backfires:
To fathom the genesis of American misandry, I
look to Shelby Steele, a black research fellow at
the Hoover Institution of Stanford University. Dr.
Steele authored White Guilt: How Blacks and
Whites Together Destroyed the Promise of the Civil
Rights Era. Steele claims that, because of history,
whites are forever stigmatized as racists and
accused of “blaming the victims” if they
encourage blacks to engage in hard work, self-
reliance, and moral responsibility. Because of
“white guilt,” blacks continue to play victims,
receive deferential treatment from whites, and
make excuses for not growing.

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Under the Clitoral Hood

Strident feminism has analogously stigmatized

men, also effecting a destructive outcome:
lawmakers, governors, presidents, judges, and
jurists have “male guilt.” They erroneously view
women as “victims,” defer to them, and tolerate
their excuses for not growing—perpetuating the
endless cycle of unwed motherhood and blaming
men for their mistakes.

Deference infiltrates dating dynamics, especially

in money matters. Whenever a guy delivers his pedestal
sermon, he invariably rationalizes his fear of “rocking
the pussy boat over a $50 dinner tab” by opining that
girls are born feeling entitled. What a well-vaginized
eunuch. Statistically speaking, this guy will more than
realize his fear in family court, when that pussy boat
capsizes at a cost of $500K or $5M or $50M. If he’s not
man enough to “skipper” his own wallet, his femme will
effect a mutiny, take the tiller—and throw his ass
overboard. Deference backfires.

Chivalry and the Great Divide

What’s the difference between a brat and a well-
behaved child? The brat has too many privileges and
never hears “no.” Isn’t the same true of entitled women?
That’s no accident. Blame the men who can’t say “no” to
their daughters, girlfriends, wives, and female political
constituents. Deference, false nobility rooted in male

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Under the Clitoral Hood

guilt, backfires: It creates a “great divide” between the

genders.
Recently, I was in the breakfast aisle of my local
Safeway, where a little boy, seated in a shopping cart,
whined his father into near-hysteria over cereal choices.
The father was unwilling to put down his foot, say no,
and show the kid who was boss—a pathetic but all-too-
common sight. I had such a strong urge to grab this
politically correct wimp by his collar and give him his
first pair of balls.
In the same week, I had a phone conversation
with a potential paramour—a beautiful woman earning
a six-figure salary and, as a Google search proved, quite
accomplished in her field. Yet, after learning about the
premise of my first book and my recent appearance on
The Tom Leykis Show, her ebullience quickly devolved
into indignation: She didn’t share my men-and-women-
are-peers philosophy, instead asserting her female right
to “feel special” as my dinner guest.
“You are asking me to change the way I was
raised!” she exclaimed. My rejoinder: “What about a
man feeling special, or is that only the woman’s turf?”
No answer from her. I continued: “You and I were
‘raised’ in an era when society frowned on women
becoming CEOs, judges, and surgeons, and earning big

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Under the Clitoral Hood

money. Yet, you overcame that ‘upbringing’ to succeed

in business, right?” She agreed. I further queried: “How,
then, can you cling to this disempowering, hypocritical
belief that women need deference from men, as if they
are uneducated, helpless, and unaccomplished?” Again,
she had no answer.
How are these two events connected? Each one
was a display of childish, immature behavior. The boy
did have an excuse: he is a child. But, by tolerating it
and not laying down the law, his father unwittingly
encouraged many repeat performances. The grown
woman, my professional peer, had no excuse for her
behavior, and I didn’t tolerate it. With her narcissism,
she had reduced herself to a little girl, and I did lay
down the law: No soup for you!
Chivalry, deference to women, is a booster seat for
girls in adult bodies! A woman demanding chivalry is
really a girl saying: “I’m inadequate. I need a booster
seat.” Such self-denigration occurs for two reasons: 1)
the woman thinks little of herself and of men; 2) most
men carry booster seats—unilateral wining, dining,
vacationing, and bejeweling—insisting that women sit
on them. Such dysfunction speaks volumes about both
parties.

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Under the Clitoral Hood

A chivalrous man will pay a HUGE price for his

largesse: a lifetime of carrying her booster seat, from
dating … to the engagement … to the wedding …
through the marriage … and all the way to, through,
and after divorce court. Somehow, the thought of a
woman sitting in a booster seat, having real orgasms,
doesn’t compute in my brain.
Chivalry and deference are forms of what I call
benevolent sexism, or BS. Coincidentally, the booster
seat, a metaphor for chivalry, is also BS. No matter how
you slice it, chivalry is BS, deference is BS, the great
divide is BS. BS demeans both men and women.
This “great divide” pervades all facets of life,
engendering mutual mistrust and manipulation. It is so
caustic that men and women nowadays seek not to love
each other but to deflect and avoid reciprocated pain.
The great divide prevents a man and woman from
viewing, communicating with, and treating each other as
a peer. He will wine & dine her in exchange for sex; she
will happily accept, even require, the deal. They avoid
honest confrontation or challenge, even about obsolete
dating protocols—she out of fear that he will cut his
largesse, he out of fear that she will close her legs. Such
spineless behavior, in an era of gender equality, renders
him a eunuch and her a whore. Peers have no fears.

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The Source of Relationship Defects

Like a defective car that never operates properly,
a relationship rolling off the “assembly line” with defects
will be plagued with irreparable bugs. Relationship
defects are “installed” in the first e-mail exchange or
telephone chat and then become “baked in” on the first
date. A non-peer relationship is a defective relationship
that will spend most of its time in the shop, up on the
rack, hopelessly in search of a nonexistent repair.
Traditionalists still believe that, in the mating
ritual, the man should unilaterally pursue the woman.
The man calls the woman. The man arranges the date.
The man picks up the woman to drive her to the date.
The man pays for the date. The man initiates the
goodnight kiss. The man returns the woman to her

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home. The man calls the next day to thank her for
allowing him the privilege of spending his money on her.
Then, the man calls a few days hence to
determine whether this woman is available again for
another opportunity to entertain her. Yes, in 2007, when
women are doctors, lawyers, CEOs, judges, senators,
university presidents, generals, prime ministers, pilots,
mayors, and governors, the majority of romancers still
play this obsolete, disempowering game.
Why is that? In a word: socialization. Men have
been taught, socialized, and conditioned to believe that
they are supposed to play offense. And, the chase makes
them feel in control, powerful, and able to choose the
best babes this planet has to offer.
Women, conversely, are taught to play defense,
imbued with control and power they can wield to decide
if, when, where, and whether. This football-like ritual
made sense when women could not vote, get credit, own
property, or be the R&D chief of Xerox. But, it sure as
hell doesn’t make sense today. The beauty of a football
metaphor is that it perfectly illustrates the negative
consequences of unilateral pursuit. If this mating ritual
is so counterproductive, why, then, do people continue
engaging in it? Whores and eunuchs fear change.

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Over the years, I have met countless highly

accomplished, educated, and financially comfortable
women who both love and insist on men pursuing them.
Their explanations were always in this vein:
The chase makes them feel special and desirable.
By lowering themselves to approaching and
chasing men, they will lose all vestiges of their
prized femininity and feel desperate and
unattractive. They no longer will be the apples high
in the tree, just beyond reach, where only skilled
ladder-climbers can hope to get them. Instead,
they will become as common as the ones at eye
level or, worse, those that have fallen to the
ground, easy to scoop up and place in the basket.
Moreover, how will they explain to their mothers
and girlfriends that they have stepped off their
proverbial pedestals? One can only imagine.

Unilateral pursuit, another result of deference

and the great divide, is a horrible practice for both the
pursuers and the pursued. Unilateral pursuit makes a
man assume the role of aggressor and bounty-seeker,
thereby reducing the likelihood that the pursued woman
will have real orgasms when he finally nails her.
The unilaterally pursued woman renders herself
the target, prize, conquest, acquired asset. According to
“The Golden Rule,” those with the gold make the rules.
Because the man in this scenario has to bankroll and
drive the courting ritual, he, by definition, is the one

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with the gold. He, therefore, will and should set the
rules. That’s life: there’s no such thing as a free lunch.
It follows, therefore, that the pursued woman,
wittingly or unwittingly, is setting herself up to become
the man’s property, his acquired asset. Returning to our
football metaphor, she is, in effect, making herself the
end zone and him the running back exerting great skill
and strength to score the touchdown.
We’ve all witnessed the touchdown ego dance,
right? That’s how a man feels when he scores with a girl
who has required him to endure many yards and
impediments to reach his goal: her.
Now, I ask you: Is there anything about this
scenario that presages a peer relationship of mutual
respect and admiration? Hardly. In fact, it has the
opposite effect: the participants will have sex, but her
orgasms, more likely than not, will be fake. He will get
his trophy, but it will be purchased and made of plastic.

The Cleft of Venus

The great divide is a good metaphor for the pussy
crack—the cleft of Venus. Nowhere are men and women
more divided than in the bedroom. For example, after a
guy goes out with a girl, his buddies might ask him if he
“got lucky.” In street argot, getting lucky means that she

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deemed him worthy to “have his way” with her. Lucky?

Any man who feels lucky to bed a woman knows nothing
about her anatomy and libido.
The most-famous Seinfeld episode is “The
Contest,” about Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer
competing to abstain the longest from masturbation. In
the opening scene, they are at their familiar table in the
coffee shop, where George admits that his mother had
just caught him in a “self-pleasuring” bout. Humiliated,
he vows never again to repeat such behavior.
Because Jerry doubts George’s fortitude, George
challenges him to a duel, at $100. Kramer wants in, as
does Elaine. The three guys, however, claim that Elaine
has an “unfair advantage”: she’s a woman, who doesn’t
have a man’s intense need to masturbate. George wants
2:1 odds from Elaine; Kramer demands $1000! Elaine
offers $150, which the men quickly accept.
This hilarious episode broke big sitcom ground,
cleverly covering masturbation—a taboo topic—without
ever mentioning it. Although brilliantly written and
acted, it’s based on a lie about female libido. Have you
ever heard a woman, honest about her strong sexuality,
apologetically say: “I guess I’m wired like a man”? What
bullshit. She’s wired like a normal woman!

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The societal lie about female libido causes and

compounds all male deference towards women. It makes
men behave stupidly and waste lots of money, time, and
energy to get laid, and motivates women to manipulate
men for meals, clothes, jewelry, car payments, and
vacations. Deference backfires every time.
Why don’t men understand this? Because girls
traditionally have been raised to downplay, deny, and
suppress their libidos, and men are taught, in typical
anti-male fashion, that they are carnivorous pigs.
Because of sexual hangups and the great divide,
most men don’t realize, or want to accept, that females
are starved for orgasms and masturbate more frequently
than males, in more venues—home, car, airplane, office,
pool, wherever. Polite members of society are in denial
about this—as if they received their sexual education at
The Flat Earth Society.

Boozers Are Losers

A man who believes that, to get laid, he must ply
a woman, and himself, with alcohol is a loser—with no
confidence in his sexual acumen. How much can he
genuinely arouse her if booze, not his personality, is his
seduction tool? Not much. What’s the probability she’ll
bang him out of raw attraction, and have real orgasms,

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while committing a DUI—debauchery under the

influence? Low. She has her best orgasms when totally
emotionally present. Real seduction requires sobriety. If
you booze, you’ll lose—and probably crash and burn.
And, no collision insurance can protect you.

Male Power
Today’s females are very different, sexually, than
their mothers and grandmothers—just check out their
X-rated videos on YouTube and their bisexuality-for-
sport activities in highschools and colleges. These
millennium nymphettes sexually flaunt themselves and
downplay, deny, and suppress nothing.
Only men who grasp the intensity of female libido
will realize their own power. That’s right: the strong
libido of the female imbues the male with superior
sexual power—just as the strong cravings of a drug
addict give the dealer superior power. Whoever has more
power can set the price, right?
Conversely, the man who doesn’t understand this
dynamic, and continues deferring to women, will be
blind to both his own lack of game and his potential to
reclaim it. Accordingly, women will seek, land, and cheat
on such naïve, subservient guys and manipulate them
for cash, bling, cars, clothes, vacations, and meals.

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CHAPTER 3: The Power of Aural Sex

Canine Lingus
It’s a time-honored belief that the dog is man’s
best friend. Yes, a dog will fetch your slippers, scare an
intruder, and help you hunt … if that’s your sport. But,
a dog also will sap your wallet from the food, grooming,
toys, and kennel services you must purchase. Fido will
require frequent walking, shed fur on your sofa, pee on
your carpet, bark when you’re not home, and bite the
mailman. Given the 65 million dogs in the USA,
though—one canine for every 4.5 humans—it’s clear
that people tolerate much to have their faces licked.
Even if he doesn’t realize it, every man with a
girlfriend or wife has a better friend than a dog: his
woman’s clitoris, her clit. If a man likes the comfort of
his dog loyally following him around, breathing heavily
with its tongue hanging out, he will love how he can
affect his woman by taking command of her clit.

Her Ignition Switch

A woman’s clit is her ignition switch; she dreams
of the man who can crank it. According to my lady
friends, though, most men either don’t know the clit’s
location or operation sequence, or they view it as an

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arcade game to be accessed and activated only by

feeding it cash. How very sad … and off the mark.
While she’s dreaming that her aural man will
appear, she’s masturbating. Because of socialization
and naïveté, most men are shocked to learn just how
frequently women masturbate. Why do you think they
own vibrators—jumper cables? When I ask a woman that
question, she usually answers: “Using my hand takes
too long.” Demanding and impatient! Imagine that.
It’s rare that I meet a vibratorless woman. Sex
toys are big business, with annual purchases in the
USA estimated at $500M. And, these sex toys are not for
men—at least not the men in the Red states. Women
just can’t live without their daily orgasms, and they
freely divulge this to me.
Eva Longoria, a star of Desperate Housewives,
claims to have crate-loads of sex toys stashed in her
garage for dispensing as presents to her friends. She
told the Daily Mirror: “…it is important for women to be
in touch with their sexuality … they [sex toys] are the
best present because a lot of women won’t go buy one.”
In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, she
confessed that her best sex of the year was probably
with her vibrator. She continued: “I give that [Rabbit
vibrator] as a gift all the time to other girls for a birthday

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or the like. It’s the best gift to give: an orgasm.” Guys, do

you know any men who behave this way? I don’t.
Why are females so super-sexual? Three reasons:
the clit, ability to have multiple orgasms, and multiple
sources of orgasms. Girls hate for men to know about
their libidos—because men have been taught the
opposite; women don’t want to lose their manipulative
advantage. Society has pressured girls to downplay,
deny, and suppress their sexual cravings; they play
along with the ruse—quite successfully—to get lots of
privileges and free dinners, vacations, and jewelry.
The clit has only one purpose: sexual arousal.
There are countries in this world where every young girl
must undergo a routine clitoridectomy, or clitoral
mutilation. This despicable procedure is designed to
delete her ability ever to achieve sexual pleasure, which
seems to threaten the men in those countries. It’s a very
sick practice, but it does prove my point: a woman’s
sexual identity and power are linked to her clitoris.
Let’s compare male and female sexuality. Unlike a
woman, a man has no body part, like the clit, that is
100% dedicated to sexual arousal. Strike one. Unlike a
man, a woman can have multiple, sequential orgasms—
without any breaks. I’ve been with women who can
come 45 times in 30 minutes, followed by orgasm

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headaches and the need for Tylenol. Strike two. Finally,

a hot woman can climax from kisses on her lips, neck,
nipples, back, and inner thighs, and from stimulation of
her clitoris, vaginal walls, and anus. Strike three. There
you have it. These three sets of capabilities make the
woman a human sex machine; you cannot in any way
compete with that. Getting the picture, now?
I wrote above that the typical man thinks the clit
is coin-operated. He reflexively grabs his wallet in a
woman’s presence, believing the wining/dining ritual
will arouse her. It doesn’t. It can make her happy, like a
princess, but it doesn’t stimulate her clit. Never confuse
dollar signs in her eyes with juice in her pussy. It’s
amazing how many women have spent years with men,
living in financial comfort, without ever being truly
aroused. In addition to being selfish, they cheat on their
boyfriends and husbands in the quest for … orgasms.

Cranking Her Ignition Switch

The truth is, a woman’s clit is voice-operated, not
coin-operated. She likes aural sex—a man cranking her
ignition switch via her ears. No, I’m not describing an
otological fetish. I’m asserting that the keys to truly
arousing a woman are your words and voice tonality, not
your cash; this process begins on the phone. Again, you

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are not to use a velvet voice to woo her with promises of

gifts and trips—that’s the eunuch’s approach. To review,
please see my “Art of Seduction” chapter in The Man’s
No-Nonsense Guide to Women.
The insecure eunuch is hopelessly drawn to the
woman who demands to be purchased like a parcel of
land. Her radar can detect your propensity to buy wine,
meals, jewelry, and vacations to get laid. She will say
that your largesse makes her feel “special and feminine.”
Such nonsense is a vagina monologue that mustn’t ever
become a dialogue. If your esteem is so low that you’ll
oblige this whore, you are your own worst enemy—and
she never will respect you.
The man skilled at aural sex, on the other hand,
operates in the opposite way—without providing any
treasure. He talks directly to a woman. He shocks her,
challenges her, teases her, arouses her, and tells her in
what positions he’d like to do her. She will admire and
respect his self-confidence and his attitude that he is
more than his wallet.
You’ll know a woman genuinely wants you when
she responds to your aural sex with openly expressed
sexual desire, without expecting financial rewards. When
she giggles like a schoolgirl and admits to getting

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“lathered up” just hearing your voice, you are

succeeding at aural sex.
So, now that you know the truth about her—
she’s a sex machine who needs to be cranked—you have
no more excuses for buying your way in. You talk your
way in. Once you activate and crank her ignition switch,
her clit, there’s one more requirement: you also must
operate it effectively. More about that later.

Why She Likes Bad Boys

Have you ever noticed the sultry demeanor of a
woman around a “bad boy”—as opposed to her probity
in the presence of a perfect gentleman? The difference
can be quite stark. By bad boy, I’m referring to an
irreverent, iconoclastic, articulate, cocky, naughty,
earthy, bawdy man—like The NoNonsense Man!
Let me state for the record that a “bad boy” is not
an abusive man. A woman attracted to an abusive
man—someone who hurts and demeans her—is pathetic
and sick. A man who hurts and demeans women is also
sick and pathetic. Sick is attracted to sick. Both need
help.
Tom Leykis, host of The Tom Leykis Show, tells
his core listeners—men in their 20s and 30s—to “treat
women like crap, because that’s what they want.” His

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definition of treating a woman like crap: get her drunk,

converse minimally, and fornicate her sans emotion or
commitment. Tom claims, from experience, that treating
women well will lead only to broken hearts, unwanted
children, and empty wallets. His daily callers validate
with glee the success of using this harsh method.
What’s going on here? It’s simple, really. Girls are
raised to disrespect boys and men. Boys are raised to
bow down and worship females. Women and girls see
males as losers—on TV, in schools, in legislatures, in
courting, in marriage, in divorce, and in domestic-
violence disputes. Although women benefit from the
undeserved entitlements vaginized men have handed
them, they glower back to the men in response. No good
deed shall go unpunished. Deference backfires, always.
Women, hence, hunger for—and get aroused by—
independent, confident, politically incorrect, iconoclastic
men who have the balls to stand up to them. In other
words, women like bad boys—men who aren’t eunuchs,
politically correct wimps, and vaginized sissies.
What’s the connection? A bad boy is a master clit
stimulator, a skill that gives him great power. He knows
how to use aural sex to crank her engine—without cash,
booze, or jumper cables. It’s all about the clitoris.

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Aural Vignettes
I hereby present two, real vignettes from my life to
illustrate the power of aural sex. The first one occurred
with a specific woman. The second is fairly generic and
representative of what typically happens to me on the
telephone—a very powerful instrument.

Vignette #1
This woman and I were strangers, seated next to each other
at the bar of a restaurant. She had just asked me about the
premise of my first book. Here’s how she reacted to me:

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Vignette #2
This woman and I are talking on the phone, say, the second
time. We’ve not yet met. I live in Northern California, she in
Los Angeles. It’s a prototype of the conversation I’ve had
with numerous women. It exemplifies how to seduce a
woman before ever touching her—the objective of aural sex.
Let’s join it in process:

NoNonsense Bottom Line

It is paramount to seduce a woman before ever
laying a hand on her. No cash, no booze. Use your
personality and voice. This power will crank her engine.

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CHAPTER 4: Is She Faking It?

Remember Meg Ryan faking an orgasm to Billy

Crystal at the restaurant table in When Harry Met Sally?
Women talked about that scene for years, citing it as
proof positive that they could imperceptibly deceive their
partners in bed. Is this really possible? It depends.
Like revving an engine in neutral, a woman will
“fake it” to indulge a man who doesn’t arouse her—
especially after he buys her expensive meals and gifts. If
unfamiliar with female physiology and emotions, a man
will be unable to detect her counterfeit climax.
Despite a woman’s disingenuous reassurances to
spare your ego, orgasms are very, very important to her.
That’s why, more likely than not, she owns a vibrator,
which will make her come 100% of the time. She can’t,
wouldn’t, and doesn’t fake it with her vibrator, right?
Accordingly, such mechanized effectiveness makes BOB,
her battery-operated boyfriend, your direct competitor.
You are a fool to think otherwise.
Why should you care if she fakes it? Faking is
lying. Faking is an insult, a form of condescension. A
woman who fakes her orgasms doesn’t enjoy fucking you
and, eventually, will cheat on and/or tire of you.

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The obvious question is: How can you tell she is

faking her orgasms? Before I answer that, there are
three other steps to discuss. Step one: verify that your
potential partner is totally healthy—mentally, medically,
physically, physiologically, and emotionally. Sexual
hangups, history of abuse, medications, stress, and
gynecological maladies are but a few of the reasons a
woman can be orgasmically challenged.
If such is the case with a girl you fancy, don’t
waste your time with her. How to know? Use the simple
orgasm-verification technique: interrogation. Ask if she
typically has orgasms with men (without her vibrator),
has multiple orgasms—and whether she’s a screamer, a
moaner, or the strong-and-silent type. I find women to
be pretty honest about this. If her reply is tepid, it’s safe
to conclude that she’s incapable of reenacting The Great
San Francisco Earthquake of 1906. Next!
Step two: determine why she’s going to bang you
or is banging you. There are two possible reasons: 1) she
has raw attraction to you, without cash or booze; or 2)
she feels obligated because of your generous wining &
dining. If you don’t know which reason it is, you’re in
trouble. Read on.
Step three: assess your acumen in the sack. Be
honest. If you’re uncertain, here’s a litmus test: When

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you talk on the phone to a girl who thinks you’re great

in bed, she typically relives, in graphical detail, your
previous sexual encounters. She giggles like a schoolgirl,
stammers, describes her sexual dreams about you, and
initiates phone sex. If, instead, she obsesses about new
restaurants to try or movies to see, on your nickel, she
thinks you stink in bed. It’s that simple.
The graphic below shows the two polar-opposite
conditions of female orgasms: real, if she’s genuinely
attracted to you and your sexual acumen is great; fake,
if she’s giving you the obligatory sympathy fuck and
your sexual acumen is poor. In between the poles is the
mixed bag—an unpredictable combo of real and fake.

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The main point of the graphic above is to hammer

home the importance of being with a woman who has
real orgasms with you. Real orgasms beget satisfaction
and constant craving for you. Conversely, fake orgasms
beget dissatisfaction, fantasies about fucking other men,
infidelity, and eventual breakup.
When is a woman really coming? This is easy to
tell, especially during cunnilingus. Like Meg Ryan, she
will be screaming or moaning loudly. But, there’s more.
She will thrash her body about—erratically, randomly,
and spasmodically. She will arch her back and thrust
her hips wildly. Her face will be flushed. She will gasp
for breath. And, like an earthquake, she will exhibit
aftershocks for several minutes after each time she
comes. Best of all, she will beg you to stop—right before
she almost passes out. The next day, her voice will be
hoarse from screaming. She cannot fake these things.
Given the importance of real orgasms, it is critical
that you immediately stop any and all of your wining &
dining habits and practices. They drain your wallet and
manhood, and coax women who will fake their orgasms,
just to fool you into buying more dinners and jewelry.
Also, you must hone your sexual skills so that, when
you attract the right women, you can satisfy them.

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CHAPTER 5: Under the Clitoral Hood

Introduction
Most of us never learned much—if anything—
about what goes on under the hood of a car. We’ve seen
it open, even looked inside, but those strange-looking
parts with funny names are a complete mystery. We
take it for granted and assume everything will operate
as expected. We get in, turn the key, crank the engine,
put the transmission in gear, stoke it, and drive away.
Some of us can navigate the curves; others scrape
and collide. Some of us acquire affordably; others are
payment slaves. Occasionally, we get penalized for going
too fast, not stopping when ordered, changing direction
without signaling, and parking in prohibited places.
Even if mechanically challenged, we’re at least
aware that not keeping the engine cool and lubricated
will cause it to cease functioning one day—but we don’t
know which day. And, when our car doesn’t operate as
expected, we curse it, cognizant that we’ll have to rely on
an expert to pop the hood, sniff around, and use his
tools to adjust the parts—and then crank that engine
anew. We envy and admire this expert, whose knowledge

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and skill equal power, because he can make that engine

purr as if the car responds better to him than to us.
This car metaphor so uncannily describes a
typical man’s relationship with a woman, it makes me
laugh. Two differences come quickly to mind, though:
the car can’t hate or sue us; once we get rid of it, the
communications and financial obligations end!
The major difference, however, is that a man does
not have to satisfy his car to keep it. The car must
satisfy him. This, of course, is not the case with a
woman. In today’s mobile society, in which women have
the means and freedom to replace you, satisfying her in
bed is paramount.
Fortunately, I spent much of my childhood and
adolescence helping my dad repair our family’s cars and
appliances, receiving a major asset in the process: a
logical framework for diagnosing and solving problems.
Despite earning degrees in engineering and business,
and working as an executive in technology and finance,
diagnosing the female is my favorite quest.
Expertise in the layout and functions of the parts
under her clitoral hood will greatly enhance your life
and reduce your frustration. And, when she discovers
you can drive and maintain a vulva, she’ll worship you.

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Know Her Engine

To drive and maintain a vulva, you must know
what’s under the hood. Our journey begins with a cross
section (left-side view) of the female genitalia. Maybe you
haven’t seen this diagram since highschool health class,
but I recommend that you study it again. After a lifetime
of sexual activity, seeing this layout gives one a better
perspective on how a woman is built and functions.

Notice the distance between the clitoris and the

vagina—it varies from woman to woman and affects the
sexual positions she will enjoy. The sensitivity, size, and
position of her clit influence the number, kind (clitoral,
vaginal, etc.), frequency, and intensity of her orgasms.

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The vulva is the collective term for the female’s

external genitalia, the vaginal opening being only one
part. Most people incorrectly use the term vagina.
At the top of the clinical-view diagram below is
the clitoral hood—the flap of skin, akin to a male’s
foreskin, that covers her clitoris. When she becomes
aroused, her clit engorges with blood and becomes very
sensitive. A man skilled at aural sex can stimulate her
clit with his voice, without ever touching her. Trust me.
The labia minor are the protruding, dark-colored
folds of skin, known as “bat wings.” The puffy, bun-like
lips, which meet to form her crack, are the labia major.

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Below is a rear view of the vulva. Its beautiful

owner is ready for entry, but her vulva parts aren’t as
visible as in the clinical-view diagram on the previous
page. As she is lying in the prone position, her clitoris
and clitoral hood, as you will notice, are on the bottom.
Her vaginal opening is near her anus, so rear
penetration won’t rub her clit unless she can tilt her
pelvis forward—either by resting on her elbows and
knees, or by lying flat with a large pillow under her
tummy. If she’s hot, vaginal and cervical stimulation
alone can work well, extremely well, but sexual positions
that also stimulate her clit will maximize her orgasms.

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CHAPTER 6: The Test-Drive

Before going to the proving ground, review the

checklist below. First, ensure that she’s safe for you.
Second, verify that she comes without a vibrator. Third,
prove that she’s banging you out of raw attraction, not
obligation. Fourth, verify that you aurally stimulate her.
Finally, if past women have confirmed that you’re great
in the sack, you obviously know female anatomy, have
proven technique, and are ready to crank her engine.

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Aural Before Oral

I’ve reserved the physical component of this book
for the final chapter. So many guys still believe that,
taking a girl to dinner, plying her with booze, going back
to her place, and jumping her bones will rock her world.
It won’t. But, she’ll rock your wallet. Lose this mentality!
Just because you’re inside a woman doesn’t mean
you’ve achieved anything other than getting a sympathy
fuck for the money you’ve spent—in other words, hiring
a legal prostitute.
My objective, all along, has been to teach you
only to bed a woman who’s wildly attracted to you, one
whom you have qualified and seduced in advance of
carnal relations. When the sound of your voice moistens
and pulsates her pussy, you are a master of aural sex.
Avoid a woman whose ignition sequence includes
food and jewelry: she’s a whore. Avoid a woman who
advocates committing a DUI—debauchery under the
influence: she’s a drunk or considers you an amateur,
soon to become a blur. And, avoid a woman who, during
intercourse, requires jumper cables: either she deems
your sparkplug unworthy, or her battery is dead, or she
has intimacy issues, or all of the above.
When talking to her on the phone or in person,
the more you tease her, the more you’ll stimulate her

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clit. A woman will crave any man who can soak her
panties through repartee. That’s your goal. Have a nice
chat mixed with humor, current events, and bantering.
Never coddle or defer; never be a prim-and-proper
eunuch. If you disagree with her, say so. If she wants to
go someplace objectionable, decline. Honesty works.
Once you develop a strong rapport, her defenses
and inhibitions will drop, and she will unleash amazing
sexuality. She will beg you to fuck her. That’s what you
want, right? It sure beats buying her, doesn’t it?
But, if you want to make her panties dry faster
than Turtle Wax on a sun-baked bumper, just mention
how much you’d like to buy her dinner.

Oral Before Vaginal

Because a woman can have more orgasms, and
more kinds of orgasms, than you, don’t engage your
turbocharger until the final lap. This means wearing her
out with cunnilingus until she is ecstatic and exhausted
from orgasms. Then, and only then, should you fuck
her. If she is multiorgasmic—a true bonus—she’ll keep
coming and screaming until her big head throbs. Keep
the Tylenol handy. She’ll fall asleep before you do!
An ex-girlfriend confessed that it was routine for
her to masturbate after a previous boyfriend had fallen

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asleep. He wasn’t cranking her engine. Happily, with

me, she always fell asleep first—after taking Tylenol.
The key to revving her engine during cunnilingus
is adjusting your clit stimulation while learning her
response. Begin by spreading her labia, at the top, while
pushing back her clitoral hood to expose the clit. Start
licking and sucking it, even biting it gently. Watch her
face, listen to her voice, and observe her movements. Is
she enjoying herself—and you–or filing her nails? If she
isn’t into it, stop everything to ask why. If her answer
stinks, terminate her. If she offers helpful feedback, take
it. Adapt, adjust, and alternate your technique: faster,
slower, more intense, more delicate, etc.
Peruse her entire engine. Lick inside her vagina,
around the labia, along her inner thighs and perineum,
around her navel and pelvis, and then return to her clit.
With your finger, massage her G-spot, located on the
bumpy skin under the pubic bone, inside the vagina. Be
aware of what works, when. As she approaches climax,
she will lose total control of herself—you could almost
get her to sign over her life savings! Power = Endurance
+ Technique + Adaptability. Trust me, if you can crank
her engine and drain her fuel tank, she will hand you
the keys and beg you to drive for a long time. Just make
sure she pays to refill that fuel tank.

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The Final Lap

Now, it’s time to shift into overdrive and engage
that turbocharger of yours. After you have sufficiently
exhausted her with your tongue, it’s time to check her
oil with your dipstick. Don’t let her rest. To maximize clit
stimulation, put her directly atop you, on her tummy,
with her legs between yours. Grab her hips to slide her
alternately toward the headboard and the footboard.
Control her movements, no matter how much she wants
to lead. She’ll go berserk with ecstasy. Of course, while
she’s impaled on you, she’ll want her nipples licked and
bitten, and her hair pulled. You knew that, right?
Try to wait as long as possible before adding your
quart of 10W40 to her crankcase. After all, you’re
entitled to some pleasure, right? When she detects your
flow, she’ll likely come again and then fall off of you,
back onto the bed. She will be experiencing more of
those aftershocks I described in the fourth chapter (“Is
She Faking It?”) and unable to talk, walk, or complain
about anything. Does it get any better than this?!?

The Banana in the Tailpipe

In the movie Beverly Hills Cop, Detective Axel
Foley, played by Eddie Murphy, pulled a funny stunt to
stymie the cops assigned to monitor his activities. They

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Under the Clitoral Hood

were on a stakeout, parked across the street from his

hotel. Foley wanted to investigate something, and he
needed to lose them for a while. So, he snuck up behind
their car, inserted several bananas into the tailpipe, and
then drove away in his car. The cops were unsuccessful
in chasing him, because the bananas had caused their
car to stall in the middle of Wilshire Boulevard.
When you insert your banana into a woman’s
tailpipe, especially her first time, she’ll likewise become
immobilized. It’s an unnatural feeling for her and a real
power trip for you. She is totally at your mercy—a turn-
on for both parties. You must be very gentle; she has to
be extremely relaxed, trusting, and prelubricated. And,
it’s even nicer if she’s taken a long, comprehensive bath
beforehand, if you know what I mean.
Once accustomed to this forbidden act, though,
she can have some pretty wild orgasms. Moreover, it’s
amazing that, when once she couldn’t even imagine
letting you enter her tailpipe, she’ll henceforth beg you
to do so—again and again.
What’s greater than seeing a grown woman wax
incredulous from having a new sexual experience? Very
little. She’ll never forget it or you.

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Under the Clitoral Hood

CHAPTER 7: The Finish Line

As you reflect on what you have absorbed from

the information-packed pages of this primer, I hope you
are contemplating some major life changes.
All our socialization about women and relating to
them is wrong. Now, you know the truth: deference is
self-destructive, women crave orgasms and bad boys,
and entitled women fake orgasms to steal your cash.
If you choose to cling to the old, disempowering
beliefs and patterns of your past, you will continue to
encounter the same entitled women, experience the
same frustrations, and waste more of your money.
Like a car, a woman will take you where you
guide her—assuming she’s a good match and you’re a
good driver. Ignore her rattles and pings, and she’ll stop
operating, strand you, or put you in a ditch.
A woman will have many, real orgasms and crave
the skilled man who gives them to her, if she is naturally
orgasmic and wildly attracted to him. While this book is
not a compendium of sexual positions and techniques, it
offers the key to savoring your favorite ones with the
right partner—at greater torque and higher RPMs.

May your final lap be a victory lap.

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Under the Clitoral Hood

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Marc H. Rudov, The NoNonsense

Man™, has gained a worldwide
reputation as an authority on male-
female relationships, divorce, and
men's rights. He is also author of The
Man's No-Nonsense Guide to Women:
How to Succeed in Romance on Planet
Earth™ and 30+ articles about the
dealings between men and women.

Mr. Rudov is the host of the podcast series NoNonsense

Territory™ and has made appearances on international
radio and TV programs to spread his no-nonsense
message. Some of his musings, opinions, and articles
are found on MensNewsDaily.com, FoxNews.com,
ABCNews.com, BlowMeUpTom.com, Univision.com, The
Albany Times Union, San Antonio Express-News, New
York Post, TriCity Herald, Match.com, The Christian
Science Monitor, The Westchester WAG, and In Search of
Fatherhood®.

Rudov is an investment banker and business consultant

residing in Silicon Valley (Bay Area), California, formally
educated with an engineering degree from the University
of Pittsburgh and an MBA from Boston University.

Mr. Rudov is available for media interviews, radio & TV

appearances, debates, and speaking engagements.

Copyright 2007 by Marc H. Rudov 46

Under the Clitoral Hood

REORDER INFORMATION

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Under the Clitoral Hood:

How to Crank Her Engine
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Under the Clitoral Hood

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