MICHAEL DOUGLAS BROWN

HOW TO HANDLE
QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS
THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

2
How to Handle Questions and Interjections: The Engaging Presenter Part III
2nd edition
© 2019 Michael Douglas Brown & bookboon.com
ISBN 978-87-403-2840-0

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

3
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Contents

CONTENTS
About the author 6

1 The core method 7

2 Making the core method powerful 10

2.1 Adopt the attitude 10
2.2 Involve your body language and tone in your reply 12
2.3 STEP 1: Listen to the questioner (or interjector) 14
2.4 STEP 2: Direct your first word or phrase to the questioner 15
2.5 STEP 3: Direct the rest of your answer to the entire audience 15
2.6 STEP 4: Return to the questioner for the last word or phrase 16
2.7 Two examples 16

3 Accept feelings, argue facts 19

3.1 When the interjection doesn’t need verbal attention 24
3.2 Mirror negative emotions with earnestness 24
3.3 Opening up the hidden agenda 26
3.4 How to handle audience anger when you deserve it 28

Free eBook on
Learning & Development
By the Chief Learning Officer of McKinsey

Download Now

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
4
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Contents

4 Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence 30

4.1 How to answer closed, ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions 30
4.2 How to handle a persistent interjector 31
4.3 What to do when there’s an expert in the audience 32
4.4 What to do when you don’t know the answer 34
4.5 Dealing with a drunk interjector 35
4.6 Handling a heckler 36
4.7 When the farewelled one bites back 37

5 How to facilitate group discussion 39

5.1 Before you begin 39
5.2 Starting the discussion 41
5.3 Keeping them involved 43
5.4 Controlling crossfire 47
5.5 Bringing discussion to an end 48

Endnotes Part III 50

Bibliography 51

Other books by Michael Brown 52

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

5
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS About the author

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michael Brown is a leading authority on training in presentation and media skills. He has
trained thousands of people in hundreds of intensive workshops. Many trainees describe
his training as life-changing.

Michael Brown B.Sc. (Hons), Dip. Journ.,

Dip. Teach. Ocean Yachtmaster (Nav)

His methods answer this core question: what is it that attracts the respect of any audience?
That’s universal respect - regardless of race, culture, language, age, gender, religion.

His clients include all types of organisation from government departments to big business.
He has coached executives at the highest levels, and has special expertise in how to handle
difficult issues and difficult audiences, including how to manage a media crisis.

He was a television reporter, director and presenter of news and current affairs programmes
for 14 years. He has worked on secondment to the BBC.

He wrote the training resource books Speaking Easy: Engage your audiences with confidence
and authority (for meetings, presentations and speeches – now in its sixth edition) and Media
Easy: How to handle the news media with confidence and authority (Fifth edition)

He has also published the novels The Weaver’s Apprentice, and The Idiot Played Rachmaninov;
and the travel books, The Weaver and the Abbey, and The Taming of the Crew.

A quirky fact about Michael: A few years ago, he and his family sold their house and sailed
off into the South Pacific, and into the southern hemisphere’s worst storms for half a century.

He can be contacted on michael dot brown at skillset dot co dot nz

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

6
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS The core method

1 THE CORE METHOD

You may be surprised. The best way to handle questions and interjections defies what many
of us in the West were taught as children. But in the West, thousands of people, in hundreds
of training workshops, overwhelmingly agree that the method in this book works. They say
things like, “I feel in better control of what’s happening. I don’t seem to have a problem
finding an answer. I feel more engaged.” Most never return to the old ways.

Many see the method as a fast way to executive presence.

When you use the method, you’ll be significantly less nervous of the unexpected. It will
help you build rapport with your audiences, even when your message is unwelcome. It will
help you handle virtually any kind of unexpected event, including questions, interjections,
crossfire amongst the audience, aggressive comments about your message, hostility and
personal attacks on you. It works for handling attacks on you even when you deserve it.

Audiences are deeply drawn to two qualities: your personal strength and your engagement
with them. This model allows you to build both.

Your audiences will see you as more believable.

The way you handle the unexpected is inherently fascinating to any audience. Do you like
or dislike questions and interjections? Are you comfortable or uncomfortable? How are you
treating the questioner? Above all: Does your response ignore or incorporate the concerns
conveyed by the tone of the question? And, how well do you connect your answer to the
watching and listening audience?

Of course your audience doesn’t consciously analyse. They don’t need to, because they see
your level of comfort with them and their concerns as surely as if they were an x-ray machine.

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was delivering his act to a live audience when someone interjected.

“Jerry, I love you.”

“And I love you,” he called back. “But I want to go on seeing other people.”

The applause was only partly for his wit. The rest was for his ease with the unexpected
interjection.

There is nothing to fear from your audience. Have fun. Here’s the core method.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

7
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS The core method

SHARE YOUR REPLY

Respond as if every person in your audience asked that

question

(or interjected) and wants to hear the answer

For a moment, picture doing just that. You’re telling a meeting how the new schedule will
work, when Annette interrupts you. She says, “How will that affect our working conditions?”
You nod, and reply, giving only the first word or two to Annette and then, at random, to
the rest of the people in front of you, returning to Annette for a nod at the end.

That’s the mechanical essence of it.

Wait. Doesn’t it defy normal rules of courtesy? Weren’t most of us taught as youngsters to look
directly at any adult asking us a question?

So we were (mostly in the West), but for group communication that rule breaks down. The
group psychology is that when someone asks a question (or interjects), the whole audience
owns it. It’s as if the entire group wants your response directed to them even when many
already know the answer. To deny them that is to undermine your own authority and control.
And there’s another downside if you ‘lock on’ to one person: you’re effectively saying, Your
question is so unimportant to the group, I’m just giving the answer to you.

It’s rude to talk only to the person who asked the question
(or interjected). Don’t ‘lock on’

When the going gets tough, you’ll feel a strong urge to do just that. Use every bit of
willpower to share the reply, continuing to look after the whole audience.

Still not convinced?

try this… A thought experiment. Imagine you’re in the front row of an audience of
200. You ask a question, but the answer is a long one and the presenter
looks at you straight down the barrel for the entire time with everyone
watching both of you. How do you feel? Uncomfortable, of course. You’ll
want to exit under the carpet. And how does the rest of the audience feel?
Impatient. Ignored. Would you two like us to leave the room? Can we be part
of this, or is it a private party for two?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

8
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS The core method

How small does the audience need to be in order to ignore the sharing technique? That’s
right – one. The technique applies to all audiences. It’s not well known because the vast
majority of audiences are small, and the downside of locking on is less obvious. Presenters
who lock on lose credibility.

Let’s begin. Here’s a starter version of the core technique:

STEP 1 Listen to the questioner (or interjector).

STEP 2 Direct your first word or phrase to the questioner.

STEP 3 Direct the rest of your answer to the entire audience.

STEP 4 Return to the questioner for the last word or phrase.

It’s simple in essence and powerful in practice. You can practise it right away, as long as
you try it first with easy, non-emotional questions. Ask someone you trust to give you
feedback afterwards.

Persuade at least four friends or colleagues to help you out as a practice

try this…
audience. Tell them what you’re doing. Explain that you want someone to
interrupt with a question (a ‘how’ or ‘why’ question is best) about half a
minute after you start speaking. The first time, deliberately do not share
the reply – lock on to the questioner for the whole response. Now ask
the questioner to repeat the same question. This time, share the reply as
in the method above. Ask your audience which way looked best. Which
way gave you the greatest personal authority? Which way did you feel in
better control?

Now we’re going to build on that core method, giving you a commanding presence.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

9
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Making the core method powerful

2 MAKING THE CORE

METHOD POWERFUL
How much do you want a convincing presence with strong audience rapport? In this chapter
we build on the four steps of the core method. But first, a quick word about your attitude,
body language and tone:

2.1 ADOPT THE ATTITUDE

Listen on behalf of the audience

Now’s the time to stop being preoccupied with your own survival. Some presenters fear
questions and interjections even more than they fear one-way speaking. Allowing something
unexpected to happen feels like opening Pandora’s box and releasing all manner of horrors.
So this kind of self-talk switches on:

“Excuse me.”

Uh oh. “Yes?”

“I have a question.”

Oh no. A question. It’ll put me off my stride. It’ll put me off what I prepared. What
if I don’t know the answer? I’ll look like a fool.

That self-talk is a destroyer because it shunts your focus right back on your worries. Your
fears multiply, your audience knows instantly that you’ve transferred your focus from them
to yourself, and your credibility takes a hammering before you’ve uttered two words of your
response. Instead, develop self-talk like this:

Ah, good. Chances are others will have the same question and this helps me understand
how others in the audience feel. How can I use this to help everyone understand?

Make that your self-talk even when the questions and interjections are probing or emotionally
charged.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

10
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Making the core method powerful

Choose to genuinely welcome questions and interjections

as contributions to group understanding

That’s quite a decision. But once you’re committed to it, you’ll find yourself easily coping
with that instant when you don’t know what your answer is going to be. (And when you
don’t have an answer? See What to do when you don’t know the answer, Chapter 4)

Imagine yourself at a party. You’re talking to one person, a glass of your

try this…
favourite lubricant in hand. But you’re not enjoying it because the person
opposite you is boring. Which is a puzzle because he has an interesting
background, he’s achieved spectacularly and he’s extremely well-informed.
So how can he be boring? Feelings and judgements like boring or arrogant
or I don’t like this bozo often arise when the person in front of us keeps
talking with no sign that he wants to know about us.

It’s the same when a presenter seems reluctant to take our questions.

Let’s get a practical barrier out of the way. For a large audience, it just doesn’t work to take
every question and interjection as they arise, because you would never get through your
message. It is better to have a stated question time. So, still welcome the questions, but
manage their timing. More on that later.

And, in case I haven’t made it clear enough, be ready to be open. Be ready to be seen
through. You can’t hide from an audience – they know when you’re dodging. Steve Jobs of
Apple fame may not have had presenting in mind, but his words certainly fit the relationship
between presenter and audience:

“Avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

You are already naked.”

– Steve Jobs

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

11
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Making the core method powerful

2.2 INVOLVE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE AND TONE IN YOUR REPLY

This expands on Look at people with your whole body in the second book in this series, HOW
TO CONNECT WITH ANY AUDIENCE.

What follows may feel awkward when you first try it out. That’s partly because I’m making
bullet points of what should soon be natural. It’s worth persisting and, as always, find
someone to give you specific feedback on how well it’s working.

Your body language

The body language I’m talking about is subtle, the movements small, the impact large. In
fact the movements are so small, the audience only takes them in subconsciously, but they
strongly influence decisions about you and the credibility of your answer. Don’t blame the
audience for that. It’s called being human, and humans use much more than the face value
of your words to form their opinions. You are also the message, because you are its medium.

Another imagination exercise. You’re sitting next to one person, side-by-side,

try this…
talking. He wants to sell you a new idea for an on-line business. But he
conducts the conversation with his head facing almost forward, maintaining
contact only by looking at you sideways. Want to do business with him?

Of course not. Swivelling his eyes without turning his head is a trust-and-
credibility disaster.

Now imagine that same conversation with one change. You’re still sitting
side-on, but this time he turns his head as well as his eyes. This is more
credible. It’s the way most presenters answer questions at meetings –
swivelling their eyes and head, with fixed torso.

And yet it’s still not enough.

For full credibility and trust, your eyes, head and body must
work together with your words

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

12
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Making the core method powerful

Here’s how:

THE TURN (turning to the questioner)

What I’m describing here is true at any time when you speak. But with questions and
interjections, it’s significantly more important if you’re going to stay engaged and in control.
In any speaking you’re turning your attention to different parts of the audience, different
individuals. That means eyes, head and body all move. And now we need to look at the
most subtle yet powerful movement of all.

In the spine. The audience never thinks about your spine, yet it has a powerful effect on
them. Let’s put it all together. When someone asks a question or interjects, begin engaging
them like this.

THE TURN

Move your eyes fully,

rotate your head almost fully,

rotate your shoulders partly, and

tilt your spine towards that person very slightly

All at the same time, and all under their conscious radar.

Don’t mistake me, the tilt is not a bow. We’re not talking 18th century courtly manners here.
When you’re sitting at an average-sized meeting, the tilt may be no more than a centimetre.
That’s the width of your little finger. If you’re standing in front of a bigger meeting, then
it’s around two or three centimetres. Small movement, large impact. The individual you’re
looking at translates it subconsciously as This presenter wants to talk to me and respects me.
The audience translates it vicariously as This presenter wants to talk to us and respects us.

Your tone
A flat voice carries little personal credibility, with the real danger that it can sound disinterested
in the question or interjection. If you sound disinterested, that’s the end of rapport with
the questioner and, by association, the audience.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

13
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Making the core method powerful

We don’t need extreme remedies. Once again – just like the body language – we’re talking
about something so subtle that your audience simply won’t notice that anything special is
happening with your voice. Subtle, yes, but at the subconscious level, most important. Nor
do we need special exercises on your tone and voice modulation. Instead, develop the skills
indirectly by working on appropriate levels of warmth, interest and energy.

Never drop your energy in response to a question. Similar to ‘locking on’, it sends the message,
Your interruption is so unimportant to the audience, I can hardly bother with it. Go away. Not
much respect in that; it would be simpler to stroll over and slap the questioner in the face.

Now, the four steps in more detail

2.3 STEP 1: LISTEN TO THE QUESTIONER (OR INTERJECTOR)

Do THE TURN (above), then actively listen to the questioner (or interjector), with warm
attention.

Active shows up when you give a very small I’m listening nod now and then. Very small
means it won’t be mistaken for agreement. Your eyes should be saying, I’m keen to hear this.
When the question is finished, incline your head (think of a gracious nod) in acceptance,
which says, I’ve heard you and I’m taking you seriously.

The warmth welcomes the question. If your first reaction is apprehensive, your audience
cools; if you are warm, your audience warms. Don’t overdo it. Be warm with your eyes
only – this is not the place for a cheesy smile.

What? You don’t have an instant answer?

Don’t bother with the cliché ‘That’s a good question.’ Everyone knows you’re buying time
to think. And everyone knows it’s unreasonable to expect you to have an instant answer for
all questions. It’s much better just to think. Openly. In silence. Here’s how:

When you need time to think, nod to the questioner and

break eye contact, looking to one side and down.

You must nod (incline your head) to the questioner first – that’s what buys you the time
to think. And by thinking in silence, you convey more respect for the question and the
questioner. But if you’re embarrassed, all bets are off. Audiences hate embarrassment.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

14
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Making the core method powerful

2.4 STEP 2: DIRECT YOUR FIRST WORD OR

PHRASE TO THE QUESTIONER
Do that with extra interest and energy.

Be energized by the question or interjection

Extra energy usually means slightly bigger gestures and head movements. It’s simply a form
of respect, because it demonstrates your interest in the question. Of course when you’re
truly engaged, it won’t be an act.

2.5 STEP 3: DIRECT THE REST OF YOUR ANSWER

TO THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE
Do that as if every person asked that question.

Potential ENGINEERS, UNIVERSITY

GRADUATES & SALES
for exploration PROFESSIONALS
Junior and experienced F/M

Total will hire 10,000 people in 2014.

Why not you?
Are you looking for work in
process, electrical or other types of
engineering, R&D, sales & marketing
or support professions such as
information technology?
We’re interested in your skills.
Join an international leader in the
oil, gas and chemical industry by
applying at
www.careers.total.com
Copyright : Total/Corbis

More than 700 job

openings are now online!

Potential
for development

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
15
HOW
HOW TO
TO HANDLE
HANDLE QUESTIONS
QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
AND INTERJECTIONS Making the core method powerful
PRESENTER PART III mAking the Core method powerful

When you look around to the whole audience, go first to the person furthest from the
When you look around to the whole audience, go first to the person furthest from the
questioner – that’s the extreme right or left of your audience. Then go to the other extreme.
questioner – that’s the extreme right or left of your audience. Then go to the other extreme.
It’s called re-gathering. You’re re-gathering attention, regaining control, and signalling that
It’s called re-gathering. You’re re-gathering attention, regaining control, and signalling that
the question was so interesting that everyone might be interested in the answer. It re-enforces
the question was so interesting that everyone might be interested in the answer. It re-enforces
fundamental respect for the questioner and, by implication, to the entire audience.
fundamental respect for the questioner and, by implication, to the entire audience.

And then direct your attention randomly as you would for normal speaking.
And then direct your attention randomly as you would for normal speaking.

2.6 STEP 4: RETURN TO THE QUESTIONER

2.6 STEP 4: RETURN TO THE QUESTIONER
FOR THE LAST WORD OR PHRASE
FOR THE LAST WORD OR PHRASE
Do that and add a nod of acknowledgement. That acknowledgement might also be a ‘thank
Do that and add a nod of acknowledgement. That acknowledgement might also be a ‘thank
you’. Or if you’re not sure you actually answered the question, ask, ‘Did I answer your question?’
you’. Or if you’re not sure you actually answered the question, ask, ‘Did I answer your question?’

2.7 TWO EXAMPLES

2.7 TWO EXAMPLES
In the following section we see just how powerful the method can be for difficult topics
In the following section we see just how powerful the method can be for difficult topics
and challenging audiences – for meetings, full presentations and formal speeches. In the
and challenging audiences – for meetings, full presentations and formal speeches. In the
meantime, here are some examples for ‘ordinary’ questions and interjections. First, for a
meantime, here are some examples for ‘ordinary’ questions and interjections. First, for a
large audience where it’s more obvious that this method works.
large audience where it’s more obvious that this method works.

Large group
Large group
We’ll assume that some may not have heard the question, and the question is straightforward,
We’ll assume that some may not have heard the question, and the question is straightforward,
with no hidden agenda.
with no hidden agenda.

YOU “You have a question?” Do THE TURN. Show warmth and

interest.

Q “Yes. Can you tell us if the Middle

East situation is going to raise
prices even further?”

YOU “You mean at the pumps?” You want to fully understand before
you reply.

Q “Yes.”

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

16
16
HOW
HOW TO
TO HANDLE
HANDLE QUESTIONS
QUESTIONS AND
AND INTERJECTIONS
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING Making the core method powerful
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
PRESENTER PART III mAking the Core method powerful
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III mAking the Core method powerful

YOU (Nod, turn to the rest of the Sharing the reply.

YOU audience.)“The
(Nod, turn to question
the restis,of‘Willthe Sharing the reply.
the Middle East
audience.)“The situation
question raise
is, ‘Will You’re adding energy, lifting your tone.
petrol
the prices East
Middle even further?
situationWell raiseI Everything
You’re addingabout you
energy, indicates
lifting that
your tone.
don’t know
petrol pricesyet.
even This may be
further? WelljustI this is interesting
Everything aboutforyoueveryone – which
indicates that
another
don’t bump
know yet.inThis
a very
maybumpy,
be just means
this that you’refor
is interesting showing
everyonerespect for
– which
very longbump
another Middlein aEast
veryroad. I’m
bumpy, the questioner.
means that you’re showing respect for
reluctant
very to evenEast
long Middle guessroad.about
I’m the questioner.
prices until
reluctant to Ieven
know what
guess the
about
OPEC until
prices nationsI have
knowto what
say. Their
the
opinion…
OPEC (Return
nations to questioner
have to say. Their on The questioner needs this
last words, (Return
opinion… with nod toof thanks.) …
questioner on acknowledgement
The as a mark
questioner of respect
needs this
maywords,
last be the with
best indicator anyone’s
nod of thanks.) … from you.
acknowledgement as a mark of respect
goingbetotheget.”
may best indicator anyone’s from you.
going to get.”
Now let’s go to a much smaller group where it’s so tempting to give the answer only to
Now let’s go to a much smaller group where it’s so tempting to give the answer only to
the
Nowquestioner,
let’s go toone-to-one. This time,
a much smaller groupyou’re
whererunning a meetingtowith
it’s so tempting givehalf
the aanswer
dozen only
people.
to
the questioner, one-to-one. This time, you’re running a meeting with half a dozen people.
Assume everyone
the questioner, heard the This
one-to-one. interjection.
time, you’re running a meeting with half a dozen people.
Assume everyone heard the interjection.
Assume everyone heard the interjection.

Small group
Small group
Small
YOU group
“My feeling is that if we don’t
YOU “My terminate heriscontract,
feeling that if wethe-”don’t
terminate her contract, the-”
Q “But, Miranda, she’s a solo parent, You’re listening with warmth and interest,
disabled,
Q “But, and with
Miranda, she’sthree
a solochildren
parent, even though
You’re listeningyou were
with interrupted.
warmth This
and interest,
under five.and
disabled, Thewith
pressthree
will children
make us objection
even thoughto your message
you were actually helps
interrupted. This
roast of
under theThe
five. day.”
press will make us you, openly
objection todeclaring a feeling
your message that might
actually helps
roast of the day.” otherwise
you, openlybedeclaring
silently undermining you.
a feeling that might
YOU (Incline your head slightly forward.) otherwise
Incline benot
– it’s silently
a nodundermining you.
in the usual sense.
YOU (Incline your head slightly forward.) The movement
Incline – it’s notindicates
a nod in that you accept
the usual sense.
the contribution
The and thethat
movement indicates feeling
you behind
accept
it,
the but you don’t and
contribution necessarily agree
the feeling with
behind
the but
it, faceyou
value of the
don’t point made.
necessarily agree with
the face value of the point made.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

17
17
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
AND INTERJECTIONS Making the core method powerful
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III mAking the Core method powerful

“Yes, they will… (Turn to the Sharing the reply.

others.)
“…but what’s the alternative? Sustaining the added energy…
She’s blackmailing us with her
disadvantaged status so she can
go right on doing it to the same
youngsters. The parents are going
to get the press to roast us anyway.
(Return to the questioner for a …Thanks, because it was a contribution
nod of thanks.) to everyone’s understanding.
“I suggest we...” The psychological momentum - of sharing
the reply with warmth, interest and energy -
makes it easy to return to your agenda.

Are you wondering if warmth is appropriate for such a serious topic? Warmth is not the
Are
sameyou
as awondering if warmth
smile. Warmth showsis in
appropriate
and aroundforthe
such a serious
eyes, topic? Warmth
and is almost is not the
always appropriate
same as people
for the a smile.inWarmth
front of shows
you. in and around the eyes, and is almost always appropriate
for the people in front of you.
Look back at the direction Incline your head slightly forward and the commentary beside it.
Look back at the direction
This sophisticated, gracious Incline your head
body language is slightly
part of forward and the
the repertoire of commentary beside
leaders with the it.
ability
This sophisticated,
to engage. As longgracious
as they body language
are acting is partfaith,
in good of the repertoire
they are notofthreatened
leaders with
by the ability
questions
to
andengage. As longnoas matter
interjections, they are
howacting in good faith, they are not threatened by questions
negative.
and interjections, no matter how negative.
Now the crucial question:
Now the crucial question:
Does the method still work when the topic is difficult, the audience challenging, the questions
Does the method still
and interjections work when
probing, the topic
sceptical, is difficult, charged?
or emotionally the audience challenging, the questions
and interjections probing, sceptical, or emotionally charged?
Yes it does. You will need the core method for all of those situations, but you might want
Yes it does.
to add a fewYou will needand
techniques thenuances
core method
from for
the all
nextof pages.
those situations, but you might want
to add a few techniques and nuances from the next pages.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

18

18
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts

3 ACCEPT FEELINGS, ARGUE FACTS

The toughest questions and interjections are the emotional ones, which can feel like a blow
to the stomach. Yet if you’re really ready to put audience needs first, you’ll find even this
much easier than you thought; if you’re using the core method, you are already handling
much of the emotional charge in questions and interjections. For mild negative emotions,
you’re already there.

So let’s make the emotions more charged.

Accept the person and the feelings without judgement.

Argue only facts and logic

That’s what effective leaders do. All feelings, spoken and unspoken, are valid and beyond
judgement. They are completely natural given that person’s history up to this point. Accept
the totality of the person. Of course you don’t tell them you accept them and their feelings –
that’s your internal attitude choice. But when you’ve truly made that choice, the questioner
picks up the tiny signals and something shifts within them. As the argument continues, he
or she respects you.

Even so, the idea of accepting someone’s negative feelings is a stretch for some.

“You mean if Jason Smith tells me, in front of everyone else, that the project will be a dead
duck, I’m supposed to put up with that?”

Yes. In fact you should welcome it. Expressed feelings are a gift, because they bring out into
the open what you’re really dealing with. And what if you discover that half the audience
think the same and are grateful that Smith aired it for them? That’s a gift to you, even if it
wasn’t made in the spirit of giving. It’s your audience reality check – which has nothing to
do with who is right and who wrong. Their feeling is the reality in this highly subjective
human world. Now, no more worries about hidden agendas.

Here’s the opposite, a classic silent disaster: you’re not aware of significant opposition, so you
haven’t allowed for it in your content, and no one speaks up about it when you’re present.
That’s automatic failure to persuade, even though not a negative word is uttered. Does that
put Smith and his ‘negative’ attitude in a different light? Smith has helped you become ‘real’.

Choose to genuinely welcome (as a gift), opposing questions,

concerns and objections

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

19
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
HOW TO HANDLE
PRESENTER PART IIIQUESTIONS ACCept feelings, Argue fACts
AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts

Making that
Making that choice
choice isis aa priceless
priceless gift
gift you
you can
can give
give toto yourself.
yourself. Make
Make itit inin the
the midst
midst ofof
strongemotions
strong emotionsand
andyour
youraudience
audiencewon’t
won’tjust
justrespect
respectyouyou––they’ll
they’lladmire
admireyou.you.Take
Takeanger,
anger,
forexample.
for example.Hidden
Hiddenangerangerundermines
underminesyou; you;but
butyou
youcan canuse
useopen
openanger
angertotoincrease
increase––yes,
yes,
increase––the
increase therapport
rapportbetween
betweenyou youandandyour
youraudience.
audience.

Don’tmistake
Don’t mistakethat
thatchoice.
choice.It’s
It’snot
notabout
aboutcaving
cavinginintotopressure.
pressure.Look
Lookatatthis:
this:

YOU “...so we’re all going to have to

sign the vehicles in and out.”
Q “Oh, great!” (Sarcastic, annoyed.)

YOU (Incline your head.) Acknowledging and accepting the feeling and
the person. It’s the gift, bringing out into
the open what might otherwise silently
undermine you.
“I know...” (Look around, sharing You’re not threatened by the feeling or
the reply.) …It’s more bureaucracy. the way it was expressed.
Nobody likes red tape, even at the
best of times...
…but, we would hate the alternative Adding energy. Because you have accepted
a lot more. And for everyone’s sake person and feelings, you can now argue
we do have to stop the system the facts assertively, with full personal
being abused. From tomorrow authority and the best chance of winning
morning…” the argument.

Wouldyou
Would yoube behurt
hurtorormade
madeanxious
anxiousbybythe
thesarcasm
sarcasmofofthat
that“Oh,
“Oh,great!”
great!”interjection?
interjection?That’s
That’s
aaserious
seriousissue.
issue.IfIfyou
youhave
havemore
moreseniority
senioritythan
thanthe
theinterjector,
interjector,you
youmight
mightbe betempted
temptedtoto
openlycriticize
openly criticizethe
theinterjector’s
interjector’sdiscourtesy.
discourtesy.But
Butpulling
pullingrank
ranktotocompel
compelrespect
respectisisan
anexcellent
excellent
waytotolose
way loserespect.
respect.In Inthe
theend
endyou
youcan’t
can’tavoid
avoidaadecision
decisiontotoreplace
replacesuch
suchanxiety
anxietywith
withthe
the
determinationtotolook
determination lookafter
afterthe
theaudience.
audience.Better
Betterstill,
still,uncover
uncoverthethedeeper
deeperrealization
realizationthat
that
thereisisnothing
there nothingtotobe beanxious
anxiousabout.
about.Don’t
Don’tgive
giveother
otherpeople
peoplethethepower
powertotomake
makeyou youfeel
feel
badabout
bad aboutyourself.
yourself.

“No
“No one one
can can you
make make you
feel feel inferior
inferior withoutwithout your consent.”
your consent.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt
– Eleanor Roosevelt

I Ilike
likethe
thestory
storyofofthe
theBuddhist
Buddhistmonk
monkwho whowent
wenttotohis
hisabbot
abbotand
andcomplained
complainedthat
thatpeople
people
ininthe
thestreet
streetwere
weremocking
mockinghim
himbybycalling
callinghim
himaadog.
dog.

“Turn
“Turn around
around andand
looklook at your
at your rearrear end,”
end,” thethe abbot
abbot said.
said. “Do“Doyou
yousee
seea atail
tailwagging?”
wagging?”
“No,”
“No,” saidsaid
the the
monk.monk.
“Then
“Then the the matter
matter is settled,”
is settled,” saidsaid
the the abbot.
abbot.
Download free eBooks at bookboon.com
20
20
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III ACCept feelings, Argue fACts

HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS

AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts
Now let’s extend the technique. When you disagree with the point made by the questioner:

Now let’s extend the technique. When you disagree with the point made by the questioner:
Say yes and no simultaneously, with no contradiction
Say yes and no simultaneously, with no contradiction

How is that possible? You’re saying yes with your manner and no with your words – and the
How is that possible? You’re saying yes with your manner and no with your words – and the
no can be assertive, even passionate. It’s not a conflict because the yes and the no operate
no can be assertive, even passionate. It’s not a conflict because the yes and the no operate
on two different planes: feelings and facts. I have seen a presenter passionately disagree
on two different planes: feelings and facts. I have seen a presenter passionately disagree
with his entire audience (20 people) with such a warm acceptance of their feelings that
with his entire audience (20 people) with such a warm acceptance of their feelings that
they fell silent with respect.
they fell silent with respect.

It’s very, very persuasive.

It’s very, very persuasive.

It’s got nothing to do with talking through a stiff smile, of course; an audience will see
It’s got nothing to do with talking through a stiff smile, of course; an audience will see
through that in a nanosecond. Remember, you’re naked already: you must genuinely
through that in a nanosecond. Remember, you’re naked already: you must genuinely
abandon defensiveness.
abandon defensiveness.

Modern neuroscience accepts that humans are driven by feelings, not by logic. In fact
Modern neuroscience accepts that humans are driven by feelings, not by logic. In fact
the research has found that we cannot make a decision without first checking in with our
the research has found that we cannot make a decision without first checking in with our
feelings. When you show non-judgemental acceptance of the audience, the audience likes
feelings. When you show non-judgemental acceptance of the audience, the audience likes
you (right brain), then decides to listen to you (left brain).
you (right brain), then decides to listen to you (left brain).

You “...so restructuring of some sort is

inevitable. We’re going to-”
Q “Look, why don’t you just come on You do THE TURN, then you’re listening
out with it? You’re going to make with warm attention – despite the aggressive
some of us redundant. Aren’t you?” tone. Here’s that gift again – feelings revealed
rather than hidden. Hidden feelings can
silently kill your message.
You (Incline your head forward Your manner conveys yes to person and
emphatically. Tilt body slightly feeling, and an assertive no to the argument,
forward.)“Absolutely not. There simultaneously. It’s not a contradiction because
will be no redundancies. We just feelings and facts are different types of
don’t need them when…” communication.

Incline
Inclinehead
headforward?
forward?It Itmay
mayseem seemmoremorelogical
logicalto toshake
shakeyour
yourheadheadwhen
whenyou’re
you’regoing
goingto to
disagree.
disagree.AndAndif you want
if you wantto to
rely just
rely onon
just thethe
language
language of of
logic, it is.
logic, But
it is. a good
But communicator
a good communicator
is is
also fluent
also in in
fluent thethe
language
language of of
feelings and
feelings and uses
usesboth
both simultaneously.
simultaneously. AAshake of of
shake thethe
head
head
can easily be taken as a blanket rejection of person, feelings and facts,
can easily be taken as a blanket rejection of person, feelings and facts, which often means which often means
thetheaudience
audience won’t
won’tbelieve your
believe youranswer
answerabout
about thethe
facts.
facts.
21
Download free eBooks at bookboon.com
21
11
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III ACCept feelings, Argue fACts
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts

In practice, many presenters find it hard to cope with such in-your-face emotion, so they
enter what seems
In practice, manytopresenters
be an escape
findtunnel
it hardwhich bears
to cope thissuch
with sign:in-your-face
Answer onlyemotion,
the face value of
so they
the words,
enter whatpretending
seems to that
be annoescape
one has any strong
tunnel whichfeelings. In that
bears this sign:last example
Answer only such a reaction
the face value of
might emerge as a low-energy, flat-toned, “It’s not the intention of management
the words, pretending that no one has any strong feelings. In that last example such a reaction to make
anyone redundant.
might emerge as aNow, as I wasflat-toned,
low-energy, saying…” “It’s
Suchnot
a response would of
the intention raise a howl of disbelief
management to make
and anger.
anyone The escape
redundant. tunnel
Now, as I leads directly into
was saying…” Suchthe lion enclosure.
a response would raise a howl of disbelief
and anger. The escape tunnel leads directly into the lion enclosure.
It’s just not logical to ignore emotions.
It’s just not logical to ignore emotions.
Do you see the beauty of the technique? You can win at all levels. You convey respect,
you
Do getyourespected. You can
see the beauty of enjoy a vigorous,You
the technique? noisy
canargument
win at allwith yourYou
levels. audience
conveywithout
respect,
turning feelings against you. Magic.
you get respected. You can enjoy a vigorous, noisy argument with your audience without
turning feelings against you. Magic.
Here’s a useful device:
Here’s a useful device:

Sometimes check what the rest of the audience thinks or feels

Sometimes check what the rest of the audience thinks or feels

You “So if you plant this variety a month

earlier, you’re likely to-”

Q “Look that’s crap! I paid good money You’re surprised, but still listening with
for that rubbish last year and I got warmth and interest. Here comes another
nothing out of it.” gift.

You (Incline your head toward the

questioner. But hearing a murmur
from someone else, turn to the entire
audience of 50 farmers.) “Anyone
else feel the same?”(Look around Checking with the audience. Adding
expectantly.) energy. Accepting the feelings, showing
concern and interest. You’re not threatened.
You genuinely want to know. Note the
use of the word ‘feel’ rather than ‘think’.
“Two… no, three. Thank you… I’d
like to get to the bottom of that.
Perhaps the three of you could have
a word with me afterwards... All
right, let’s move on.”

Here’s a tougher test. We’ll use the same example, but this time the majority feel aggressive.

22
Download free eBooks at bookboon.com
22
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III ACCept feelings, Argue fACts
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts
Here’s a tougher test. We’ll use the same example, but this time the majority feel aggressive.

Q “Look that’s crap! I paid good

money for that rubbish last year
and I got nothing out of it.”
You (Incline your head forward. This
time there’s a strong murmur of
agreement, so turn to the audience
questioningly.)“A lot of you feel
the same way?”
(There’s an even stronger murmur As the extent of the problem becomes
from a clear majority. Some scowl clear, you’re conveying more surprise
at you.) and more concern.
Q “None of us are going to use that You’re still listening with warmth and
rubbish again. You’ve got a nerve interest – even though they are now
trying to sell it to us.” questioning your personal integrity.
You (Incline your head forward again, Acknowledging, then – by thinking in
then look away in silence while silence - conveying that you’re taking it
you think.) very seriously. It’s a defensive mistake to
think that you have to fill the silence
with words.

(Turn again to the audience.) You’re still checking with the audience,
“Let me check something. How adding energy. You’re keen to resolve this
many of you had problems? Can for them. Although there’s a potential sales
you indicate with your hands...?” disaster looming, you’re not defensive.
(At least 40 raise hands.)
“Okay. How many of you took a
commercial yield?”
(Four raise hands. A few shrug
uncertainly.)“ Thank you. Well,
it’ll be a waste of time dealing
with anything else till we sort this
one out. Do you agree?”(A few
nods, then a murmur of assent.
Some expressions show grudging Respect? Yes, mostly because in spite of
respect.) your uncomfortable situation, you’re still
“I’m wondering about frost looking after their interests.
susceptibility. Can you give me
your experience on that? Who
planted early in the foothills?”

23
Download free eBooks at bookboon.com
23
HOW
HOWTOTO
HANDLE
HANDLEQUESTIONS AND
QUESTIONS
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts
PRESENTER PART III ACCept feelings, Argue fACts

3.1 WHEN THE INTERJECTION DOESN’T NEED VERBAL ATTENTION

3.1 WHEN THE INTERJECTION DOESN’T NEED VERBAL ATTENTION
Many interjections are so fleeting, so lightweight, that it would be ludicrous to spend words
Many interjections are so fleeting, so lightweight, that it would be ludicrous to spend words
on them. But there is one element of the technique you still need. Warmth.
on them. But there is one element of the technique you still need. Warmth.

You “So, on Thursday night, Rachel

and I aim to get together to-”
Q “Hah!” (Light hearted.)
You (Continue almost without pause, You’re taking it in passing, with warm
raising one eyebrow, a hint of acceptance. No words are needed.
amusement in the eyes, no more
than a glance at the interjector.)
“-to work out how to get everyone
involved in...”

3.2 MIRROR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS WITH EARNESTNESS

3.2 MIRROR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS WITH EARNESTNESS
First, two don’ts from the extreme ends of the spectrum. This:
First, two don’ts from the extreme ends of the spectrum. This:
• Don’t respond to aggression with aggression or anger. All you’re demonstrating is
• your
Don’t
lossrespond to aggression
of control with aggression
and you might as well justorthrow
anger.a All you’re demonstrating is
tantrum.
your loss of control and you might as well just throw a tantrum.
But also this:
But also this:
• Don’t respond to aggression with calm, quiet words.
• Don’t respond to aggression with calm, quiet words.
What could possibly be wrong with calm quiet words? That’s dignified.
What could possibly be wrong with calm quiet words? That’s dignified.
It may well be dignified, but in the face of aggression (and any other strong negative emotion)
it Itusually
may well be dignified,
looks inadequate. butNo
in the facehow
matter of aggression
perfect the(and any other
wording of strong negativethe
your answer, emotion)
non-
verbal messages dominate. The audience gets the impression that you’re not convinced non-
it usually looks inadequate. No matter how perfect the wording of your answer, the by
verbal
your ownmessages
story, so dominate. Thefeeling
they go away audience getsdidn’t
that you the impression
really answerthat you’re
them. notdisconcerting
That’s convinced by
yourfor
news own story,Ifsoquiet
many. theydignity
go awaydoesn’t
feeling cope
that you
withdidn’t really
strong answer them.
emotions, whatThat’s
does? disconcerting
news for many. If quiet dignity doesn’t cope with strong emotions, what does?
Earnestness does.
Earnestness does.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

24
24
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts

MATCH EMOTION WITH EARNESTNESS

The more emotional their question (or interjection), the

more you reply with earnestness – showing increased desire
to be understood

Earnestness usually means more passion and conviction in your tone. It means more
animation. You lean further forward, your eyes widen, your eyebrows rise. Your voice is
more emphatic, more modulated. Often you speak more softly and slow your words. But
your eyes are warm. It’s not a shouting match.

Earnestness shows that you heard the emotion. It shows that you really heard the person
and you’re taking him or her seriously. That makes earnestness nothing short of a magic
vehicle for your reply. The converse is also true. I have seen presenters respond to angry
interjections with perfectly worded answers that did nothing to appease the anger because
the vital matching earnestness was missing from the voice.

www.sylvania.com

We do not reinvent
the wheel we reinvent
light.
Fascinating lighting offers an infinite spectrum of
possibilities: Innovative technologies and new
markets provide both opportunities and challenges.
An environment in which your expertise is in high
demand. Enjoy the supportive working atmosphere
within our global group and benefit from international
career paths. Implement sustainable ideas in close
cooperation with other specialists and contribute to
influencing our future. Come and join us in reinventing
light every day.

Light is OSRAM

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
25
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
HOW TO HANDLE
INTERJECTIONS: THE QUESTIONS
ENGAGING
AND INTERJECTIONS
PRESENTER PART III Accept
ACCept feelings,
feelings, argue
Argue facts
fACts

Here’sananexample:
Here’s example:

You Okay, that’s the proposal. Your You’re speaking with your normal level
thoughts? of intensity.

Q We don’t have the budget. Medium level emotion – with intensity

higher than yours has just been.

You You’re right. We don’t, at least Lift level of intensity to match the
not yet. We’re going to have to questioner. More earnestness, energy,
fix that before we begin. animation. Slightly more body language,
more emphasis in the voice.
Q Oh for Pete’s sake! It’s a load Aggression. Sceptical, sarcastic, angry
of bollocks. Even if you get the – driven by high level intensity.
budget, there’s no way we can
mobilise resources in time. The
shareholders will howl for our
heads. (Others nod in agreement.)
You I can’t agree. (look around, first Your earnestness is now significantly
words slow.)This… proposal… higher to mirror the intensity behind
will… work…, as long as all of the aggression from the questioner.
us here are willing to put aside Significantly more obvious desire to
our differences and work as a be understood.
team – and that does mean a
great deal of effort. It does mean
more time here away from home
and family.

3.3 OPENING UP THE HIDDEN AGENDA

3.3 OPENING UP THE HIDDEN AGENDA
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t
“The most important thing in communication is to hear
being said.”
what isn’t being said.”
– Peter F. Drucker
– Peter F. Drucker

The needles of stinging nettle are so small they’re nearly invisible, but they still bring an
The needles
unpleasant of stinging
result, nettle
especially whenarebrushed
so smalllightly.
they’reInnearly invisible,the
an audience, buthidden
they still bring(oran
agenda
unpleasant result,
barely-concealed especially
emotion) when the
is much brushed
same.lightly.
Often,Inyour
an audience, the ishidden
first instinct agenda
to brush (or
it off,
barely-concealed
though the brushingemotion)
simply is muchmore
injects the same.
poisonOften, yourpresentation.
into your first instinct is to brush it off,
though the brushing simply injects more poison into your presentation.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

2626
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III ACCept feelings, Argue fACts
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts
But take a lesson from the goat. In the middle of the nettle patch, you’ll find the goat not
only eating the nettle, but also getting a nourishing meal from it. He knows how to handle
But take a lesson from the goat. In the middle of the nettle patch, you’ll find the goat not
stinging nettle: grip it directly and firmly, then it doesn’t hurt.
only eating the nettle, but also getting a nourishing meal from it. He knows how to handle
stinging nettle: grip it directly and firmly, then it doesn’t hurt.
We need to change animal.
We need to change animal.

Often you need to name the invisible elephant in the room

Often you need to name the invisible elephant in the room

Everyone in the audience knows the elephant is there (a concern, an objection, an underlying
Everyone in the audience knows the elephant is there (a concern, an objection, an underlying
tension), but they’re all too polite or nervous to mention it. Do you do anything about
tension), but they’re all too polite or nervous to mention it. Do you do anything about
it? Mostly yes, because hidden does not mean harmless. If you don’t name it, it’s likely to
it? Mostly yes, because hidden does not mean harmless. If you don’t name it, it’s likely to
trample on your garden after you turn your back. What’s really going on in a presentation
trample on your garden after you turn your back. What’s really going on in a presentation
is the emotion in the room.
is the emotion in the room.

Here’s an example with intense passions. Suppose you’re talking to psychologists about the
Here’s an example with intense passions. Suppose you’re talking to psychologists about the
dangers of letting a badly-behaved child talk to anyone who believes that most men are
dangers of letting a badly-behaved child talk to anyone who believes that most men are
potential child-abusers. As you speak, you notice sour expressions, sidelong glances. The
potential child-abusers. As you speak, you notice sour expressions, sidelong glances. The
audience is disturbed by something you’re not party to. A hidden agenda.
audience is disturbed by something you’re not party to. A hidden agenda.

You (Stop speaking, pause, look Asking the audience to name the elephant.
around.) “Am I missing Other ways: “There’s something you want
something?” to tell me?” or “Some of you don’t seem
happy about this.” or “What’s happening?”

Q1 (With anger.) “I resent your You’re listening with warmth and interest.
implication that innocent men This interjection would normally sting,
get convicted as a result of but when you welcome it as a gift, there’s
psychologists’ beliefs.”(A buzz no sting.
of support.)

You (Look around questioningly.) Accepting and reflecting the feelings.

“Looks like you’re not the only
one who feels that strongly.”

Q2 (Even angrier than the first one.)

“Every time we’ve called in the
police, we’ve got a conviction.
Our methods are well proven!”

27
Download free eBooks at bookboon.com
27
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
AND INTERJECTIONS Accept feelings, argue facts
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND ACCept feelings, Argue fACts
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III ACCept feelings, Argue fACts

You “So you feel that psychologists Specifically checking and reflecting feelings.
You can
“Sosuccessfully stand
you feel that back from
psychologists Specifically checking and reflecting feelings.
their own beliefs?”
can successfully stand back from
their own beliefs?”
Q2 “Objectivity is part of our training
Q2 and methodology.”
“Objectivity is part of our training
and methodology.”
(Nod again, looking round Inviting crossfire.
expectantly.)“Other
(Nod again, looking opinions?”
round Inviting crossfire.
expectantly.)“Other opinions?”
Yes, naming the elephant can lead to open confrontation. But look at the alternative. If
Yes, pretend
you naming the elephant can isn’t
lead to openyourconfrontation. But be
look
noat the than
alternative. If
Yes, naming that
the the elephant
elephant can leadthere,
to open presentation may
confrontation. But look atmore clothing
the alternative. If
youa pretend
on corpse. that
If thewant
you elephant isn’tdeal
respect, there, your
with presentation may be no more than clothing
real.
you pretend that the elephant isn’t there, your presentation may be no more than clothing
on a corpse. If you want respect, deal with real.
on a corpse. If you want respect, deal with real.

3.4 HOW TO HANDLE AUDIENCE ANGER WHEN YOU DESERVE IT

3.4 HOW TO HANDLE AUDIENCE ANGER WHEN YOU DESERVE IT
3.4 accused
You’re HOW TO HANDLE
unexpectedly andAUDIENCE ANGER
realize that the WHEN
accusation YOU
is right. DESERVE
Remember, for IT
this
You’re accused
example, that youunexpectedly
must neverand realize that
compound the accusation
a mistake is right. Remember,
with embarrassment, for this
nor by flogging
You’re accused unexpectedly and realize that the accusation is right. Remember, for this
example,inthat
yourself you must never compound a mistake with embarrassment, nor by flogging
public.
example, that you must never compound a mistake with embarrassment, nor by flogging
yourself in public.
yourself in public.
You “...so I’ve arranged for Hans to Checking with the audience.
You go to the
“...so I’ve Berlin conference...”
arranged for Hans to Checking with the audience.
go to the Berlin conference...”
(There’s an immediate buzz. Heads
turn. People
(There’s look at buzz.
an immediate each Heads
other
in surprise
turn. People and anger.)
look at each other
in surprise and anger.)
(Pause. Look around.)
“…A problem?”
(Pause. Look around.)
“…A problem?”
Q (Accusing tone.) “I’ll say. The
Q new protocol
(Accusing says“I’ll
tone.) all say.
district
The
managers have to go to the Berlin
new protocol says all district
conference. We’ve
managers have allto
to go re-arranged
the Berlin
our schedules.
conference. We’ve all re-arranged
our schedules.
You “Really?” You’re puzzled.
You “Really?” You’re puzzled.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

28

28
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
AND INTERJECTIONS
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING Accept feelings, argue facts
PRESENTER PART III ACCept feelings, Argue fACts

Q “You handed us the protocol

yourself, two days ago. You asked
us to read it carefully.” You’re concerned.

You (Turn to audience.) It’s a normal nod this time – a nod of

“Anyone got a copy here?” (One agreement with the facts presented to you.
audience member hands a page to
you and points to the fine print.
You read, nod, hand it back, and
turn to audience.)

“Right. My apologies, everyone – Regret – but no humility, no embarrassment,

I asked you to read it carefully, no indignity. You are much bigger than any
and I didn’t do so myself. You’ll one mistake.
need that resolved right away…
please help yourselves to coffee
while I talk to head office.”

With this kind of apology, respect for you will increase.

With this kind of apology, respect for you will increase.
The same is true for parents apologising to children. I remember apologising to my six-year-
The same(aismistaken
old son true for parents apologising
accusation to children.
about a broken I remember
flower apologising
vase – it was the cat). to
A my six-year-
huge, warm
old son (a mistaken accusation about a broken flower vase – it was the cat). A huge,
smile broke out on his face. He looked as if he was going to hug me; instead he raced off warm
smile brokehisout
to inform on his “Hey
brother. face. He looked
Andrew, as ifstuffed
Dad he wasup!”
going to hug me; instead he raced off
to inform his brother. “Hey Andrew, Dad stuffed up!”
Loss of dignity? None. Gain in trust? Plenty.
Loss of dignity? None. Gain in trust? Plenty.
Incidentally, an audience of children can see through you even faster than an audience of
Incidentally,
adults. an audience of children can see through you even faster than an audience of
adults.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

29
29
HOW
HOW TO
TO HANDLE
HANDLE QUESTIONS
QUESTIONS AND
AND INTERJECTIONS
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence
PRESENTER PART III hAndle the unexpeCted with relAxed ConfidenCe

4 HANDLE THE UNEXPECTED

4 HANDLE THE UNEXPECTED
WITH RELAXED CONFIDENCE
WITH RELAXED CONFIDENCE
4.1 HOW TO ANSWER CLOSED, ‘YES’ OR ‘NO’ QUESTIONS
4.1 HOW TO ANSWER CLOSED, ‘YES’ OR ‘NO’ QUESTIONS
Look at this classic way to get a howl of derision from the audience.
Look at this classic way to get a howl of derision from the audience.

Interjector “Minister, did you or did you not promise that the schedule would
be announced in March?”

Minister “Well, when you take into consideration the complexity of the operation,
and the fact that we had to go to two select committees… and then
we had to go to every local authority in the South Island, who had
to consult with their ratepayers before we could come up with a clear
picture… It was very time consuming. It’s absolutely vital that we
don’t rush this if we’re going to do a competent-”

Interjector “Minister, was that a yes or a no?”

(after hoots
and catcalls)

Sounds deceptive and defensive, doesn’t it? Like an admission of guilt. Most politicians and
Sounds deceptive
many senior and defensive,
executives have beendoesn’t it? Like to
media-trained anavoid
admission of guilt.
a straight yes orMost politicians
no, to and
avoid having
many senior
it thrown executives
back at themhave beenlater
at some media-trained
date. Thatto avoidignores
advice a straight
theyes or no, to
obvious, avoid having
immediate loss
it
of thrown backIt’s
credibility. at not
them at some later
a whodunit date.
novel That
with theadvice
answerignores
on thethelastobvious,
page. immediate loss
of credibility. It’s not a whodunit novel with the answer on the last page.
The answer is so very simple.
The answer is so very simple.

Answera ayes
Answer yesoror
nono question
question with
with a yes,
a yes, a or
a no, no,a or a short
short sharp
sharp phrase
phrase––then
thenexplain
explain or
or qualify
qualify as necessary
necessary

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

30
30
HOW TO
HOW TO HANDLE
HANDLE QUESTIONS
QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS:
HOW
AND TO HANDLETHE ENGAGING
QUESTIONS
INTERJECTIONS AND Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence
PRESENTER PARTTHE
INTERJECTIONS: III ENGAGING hAndle the unexpeCted with relAxed ConfidenCe
PRESENTER PART III hAndle the unexpeCted with relAxed ConfidenCe

Short sharp phrase? It might be sometimes, or only partly, or almost never, or even it’s not a
Short sharp phrase? It might be sometimes, or only partly, or almost never, or even it’s not a
yes/no
Short answer. Then qualify
sharp phrase? It mightwith the nuances.
be sometimes, or The
only audience
partly, orneeds
almosthear theor
never, short
evenphrase
it’s notup
yes/no answer. Then qualify with the nuances. The audience needs hear the short phrase upa
front
yes/no as their
answer. platform for understanding any complexity to follow. All the minister had
front as their Then qualify
platform for with the nuances.
understanding anyThe audience to
complexity needs hearAll
follow. thethe
short phrasehad
minister up
to do
front was this:
to do as
wastheir
this:platform for understanding any complexity to follow. All the minister had
to do was this:

Interjector “Minister, did you or did you not promise that the schedule would
Interjector “Minister,
be announceddid you or did you not promise that the schedule would
in March?”
be announced in March?”
Minister “Yes I did – and I could not deliver. It was much more complex
Minister “Yes Iwedid
than – and I could
anticipated. not to…
We had deliver. It was much more complex
(etc)
than we anticipated. We had to… (etc)
How do you answer a closed, fact-seeking question? The same way. Put the end at the
How
How do
do you
you answer
answer a closed, fact-seeking question? The
The same way.
way. Put the
the end
end atat the
beginning – with one aword
closed,
or afact-seeking
short phrasequestion?
– then explainsame
or qualifyPut
as necessary. the
beginning – with one word or a short phrase – then explain or qualify as necessary.
beginning – with one word or a short phrase – then explain or qualify as necessary.

Q “When will you push the go button?”

Q “When will you push the go button?”
You “I don’t know yet. I’m still waiting on reports from Finland, Estonia
You “I
anddon’t know yet.
Hungary, andI’m stillmay
they waiting on reports
be weeks away from
fromFinland, Estonia
completing the
and Hungary, and they may be
analysis. I’m hoping that… (etc)” weeks away from completing the
analysis. I’m hoping that… (etc)”
It’s a mystery that politicians have not discovered that simple, high-credibility way of
It’s a mystery
answering yes, that
no, orpoliticians have notIt discovered
closed questions. generates inthat
thesimple,
audiencehigh-credibility way of
what every politician
It’s a mystery
answering yes, that orpoliticians
no, surely
closed have notIt discovered that simple, high-credibility way of
and we presenters want:questions.
the thought,generates in
This person the
is a audience what Ievery
straight talker. politician
can trust her.
answering yes, no, surely
and we presenters or closed
want:questions. It generates
the thought, in the
This person is a audience what Ievery
straight talker. politician
can trust her.
and we presenters surely want: the thought, This person is a straight talker. I can trust her.

4.2 HOW TO HANDLE A PERSISTENT INTERJECTOR

4.2 HOW TO HANDLE A PERSISTENT INTERJECTOR
4.2 HOW TO HANDLE A PERSISTENT INTERJECTOR
When the interjector is persistent, check with the audience
When
When the
the interjector
interjector is persistent, check
check with
with the
the audience
audience

Amy is a thorn in your side. She’s worked up about forthcoming changes to the lighting
Amy is a thorn in your side. She’s worked up about forthcoming changes to the lighting
in
Amyreception,
is a thorn when you’reside.
in your trying
She’sto tell the up
staff about refurbishment of theto whole floor.
in reception, when you’re trying toworked about
tell the staff forthcoming
about changes
refurbishment of the the lighting
whole floor.
This
in is the fourth
reception, whentime she’s
you’re interrupted
trying to tell on staff
the the same point,
about and she didn’t
refurbishment of the take yourfloor.
whole last
This is the fourth time she’s interrupted on the same point, and she didn’t take your last
hint
This that
is theit’s time to move
she’son.
hint that it’sfourth time
time to move on.interrupted on the same point, and she didn’t take your last
hint that it’s time to move on.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

31
31
HOW TO
HOW TO HANDLE
HANDLE QUESTIONS
QUESTIONS AND
AND INTERJECTIONS
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence
PRESENTER PART III hAndle the unexpeCted with relAxed ConfidenCe

Q “Listen. I want to come back to

the reception lighting. I think it’s
important to-”.

You (Put your hand up in the stop Not using her name.
position.) “Just a moment, I need You’re inviting the audience to decide on
to check this...” the usefulness of a departure from the main
(Look around questioningly.) topic, not to make a judgement of Amy.
“Is it useful if we stay with lighting
in reception?”

Now, whatever happens you’ll come out looking good. If the audience is fed up with Amy’s
Now, whatever
constant happens they’ll
interruptions, you’ll come
shake out
theirlooking
heads good. If the
and ask to audience
move on.isIn fedwhich
up withcaseAmy’s
you
constant interruptions, they’ll shake their heads and ask to move on. In
won’t hear from Amy again, because the psychological weight of an audience is huge. You which case you
won’t hear
should thenfromtake Amy again,
care of because
Amy’s dignitythebypsychological
turning back weight
to her of
to an audience
suggest is huge.
that you meetYou
to
should then take care of Amy’s dignity by turning back to her to suggest that you
talk about it afterwards. But if the audience indicates that the lighting problem is important meet to
talkthem,
to aboutthen
it afterwards.
you have But if the audience
the perfect excuse to indicates thatmore
give Amy the lighting
time to problem
expand. is important
to them, then you have the perfect excuse to give Amy more time to expand.

4.3 WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE’S AN EXPERT IN THE AUDIENCE

4.3 WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE’S AN EXPERT IN THE AUDIENCE
Take
Take pleasure pleasure in acknowledging
in acknowledging expertise.
expertise. Don’t fear the Don’t fear
experts, the use of them
make
experts, make use of them

Your credibility will rise when people see that you’re relaxed about experts contributing.
Your credibility will rise when people see that you’re relaxed about experts contributing.
Even more so when they see that you’re relaxed about experts exposing a weakness in your
Even more so when they see that you’re relaxed about experts exposing a weakness in your
knowledge. You can be genuinely grateful for such information coming forth because you’re
knowledge. You can be genuinely grateful for such information coming forth because you’re
there to serve the audience. Does that seem impossibly altruistic? As long as you’re not
there to serve the audience. Does that seem impossibly altruistic? As long as you’re not
embarrassed, it’s impressive to any audience. And it’s the only realistic way to handle it.
embarrassed, it’s impressive to any audience. And it’s the only realistic way to handle it.

Sometimes it’s worth acknowledging the presence of an expert before you begin.
Sometimes it’s worth acknowledging the presence of an expert before you begin.

“Before I begin, I want to give a special welcome to Martha Lutyens. Most of you
“Before I begin, I want to give a special welcome to Martha Lutyens. Most of
will know that Martha has a great deal of expertise in the disastrous effects of an
you will know that Martha has a great deal of expertise in the disastrous effects of
accelerated day-night cycle on chickens. Martha, if I can’t answer a question, could
an accelerated day-night cycle on chickens. Martha, if I can’t answer a question,
I lay it in front of you?”
could I lay it in front of you?”

(Sorry. Couldn’t resist it.)

(Sorry. Couldn’t resist it.)

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

32
32
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence

I know, I haven’t answered a significant worry. If I openly acknowledge the expert, I will seem
ignorant and very soon everyone will want to hear from them and not me. And I don’t have
an answer, because that outcome is possible. However, any expert crass enough to actually
take over will earn themselves disrespect from the audience.

4.1.1 CORRECTING THE SELF-TALK

Here’s an example of the self-defeating, self-talk that costs dearly if we let it take hold.

“Excuse me. I disagree that Lady Margot was rude to Jean Harlow...”

“Uh…” Oh no, an expert. She’ll know more than me.

“…It wasn’t rudeness, it was withering contempt. When Jean Harlow said, ‘It’s a
pleasure to meet you Lady Margot’, she pronounced it with a ‘t’ and Lady Margot’s
reply was ‘No my dear, it’s Margot. The ‘t’ is silent as in Harlow.’”

The audience laughs.

“Uh...” What a disaster. She probably knows every hour and day that Harlow and
Margot sneezed. They’ll all think this woman should be up here instead of me. They’ll
think I’m a pretender. They’ll think I’m a charlatan. “Uh... good point... Well, returning
to the subject at hand...”

Such disasters are not made by what is thrown at us, but by the way we choose to respond.
Yes, it’s a choice – and we could avoid the disasters by choosing to focus on what the
audience needs. Let’s correct that self-defeating self-talk.

“Excuse me. I disagree that Lady Margot was rude to Jean Harlow.”

“Go ahead.” Maybe she can add a useful perspective.

“It wasn’t rudeness, it was withering contempt. When Jean Harlow said, ‘It’s a
pleasure to meet you Lady Margot’, she pronounced it with a ‘t’ and Lady Margot’s
reply was ‘No my dear, it’s Margot. The ‘t’ is silent, as in Harlow.’”

The audience laughs and you laugh with them. Great. “Thank you, I stand corrected.
All right... Let’s go on to Margot’s last years...”

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

33
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence

Look back at that self-talk. The most important word was perspective. The audience did
not come to hear facts about Lady Margot. They came to hear your perspective on Lady
Margot. It doesn’t matter a jot if the expert is a walking Wikipedia. The audience will only
think badly of you if you think badly of you.

4.1.2 WHEN THE EXPERT SAYS YOU’RE WRONG, AND YOU ARE!

Actually it can be even worse. It’s when the expert says you’re wrong, you realise that you are
wrong, and it’s something basic you should have known. Without doubt, it’s the interjection
most feared by young people with senior staff in the audience.

And yet the answer is wondrously simple.

Choose to show your surprise, be completely relaxed, and

say (with genuine gratitude), „I didn’t know that and I should
have. I’ll look it up right after this session. Thank you.“

If your lapse was big enough to affect the rest of your content, openly change the direction
of your presentation without embarrassment – you’re there to look after the audience.

Unrealistic? Easy to say and hard to do?

You don’t have a choice. You’ve made a significant error. You can’t hide that fact. But
your attitude and reaction are crucial. Are you going to react as if your mistake is a
career-shaking disaster? Or are you going to react as if the mistake is a sober but passing
moment? It’s a no-brainer.

Get that right and you’ll impress them with your poise under pressure.

4.4 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER

Once again, your credibility lies not in your ignorance of the answer, but in how you
respond. You just have to do this without embarrassment:

When you don’t know, say lightly or cheerfully, „I don’t know.“

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

34
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence

It really is as simple as that, though it might need a follow-up. You could check with the audience.
“I don’t know, can anyone answer that one?” But if no one knows, undertake to find out.

4.5 DEALING WITH A DRUNK INTERJECTOR

I don’t mean a pleasantly relaxed interjector. I mean an interjector so lubricated he makes
the audience wince when he calls out. In that state, he often won’t even respond to the very
obvious disapproval of the audience. Such people are on a different planet, so treat them as
if they’re exactly that far away. When they call out, don’t show that you noticed them at all.

To you, nothing happened.

I’ve seen it sober up a drunk faster than a poke in the eye.

CHALLENGING PERSPECTIVES

Internship opportunities
EADS unites a leading aircraft manufacturer, the world’s largest learning and development opportunities, and all the support you need,
helicopter supplier, a global leader in space programmes and a you will tackle interesting challenges on state-of-the-art products.
worldwide leader in global security solutions and systems to form
Europe’s largest defence and aerospace group. More than We welcome more than 5,000 interns every year across
140,000 people work at Airbus, Astrium, Cassidian and Eurocopter, disciplines ranging from engineering, IT, procurement and
in 90 locations globally, to deliver some of the industry’s most finance, to strategy, customer support, marketing and sales.
exciting projects.
Positions are available in France, Germany, Spain and the UK.
An EADS internship offers the chance to use your theoretical
knowledge and apply it first-hand to real situations and assignments To find out more and apply, visit www.jobs.eads.com. You can also
during your studies. Given a high level of responsibility, plenty of find out more on our EADS Careers Facebook page.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
35
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence

Of course there’s a limit. If he’s so inebriated that he keeps calling out anyway, all you can
do is turn with raised eyebrows to whoever can have the drunk ejected. When he’s gone,
smile with the audience and resume your speech.

4.6 HANDLING A HECKLER

I mean a heckler with no genuine or serious grievance. The heckling is for fun, or politically
motivated, or both.

The easy answer is the same as for the drunk. Ignore him or her. It takes a courageous
and persistent heckler to continue when you and an entire crowd cause him to vanish
in the psychological sense.

But, there’s a better answer. Better, because it’s fun. Just make sure you have a very well-
nourished sense of being bigger than the occasion, that you have a good sense of humour
and that you want to give as good as you get. On all three counts, I salute John Morley,
a British politician who had just finished a rousing campaign address by requesting his
listeners to vote for him.

“I’d rather vote for the devil,” a heckler chimed in.

“Quite so,” Morely called back. “But if your friend declines to run, may I count
on your support?”

We can’t all be like Morely, of course. But we don’t need to be. If you talk to large crowds,
you can have heckler-swatting repartee up your sleeve, ready. Here’s an all-purpose example.
A union official, John McKenzie, confronted with a gadfly heckler, told a ready-for-heckler
story. And note that after the first two words, he shared the reply with everyone, returning
to the heckler for the last three words.

“You know,” (turns away from heckler to audience) “I must tell you about the farm
I once lived on with my mother. She was very concerned about my behaviour back
then, because I didn’t have much respect for the animals. I even used to torment
an old broken down donkey. ‘One day,’ she said to me, ‘that donkey is going to
come back and haunt you.’” (turns back to heckler) “And here he is!”

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

36
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence

It wouldn’t do you any harm to adopt one-line heckler-swatters like these:

I can see that you’re not a complete idiot. Obviously some parts are missing.

Are you sure you should be here? I mean it’s a full moon out there.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Truly, it’s amazing to think that you beat out 50 million other sperm.

Yes, April the first – a very significant date for my friend here.

Just be sure that it really is heckling, not a genuine question or grievance. And if you’re
wondering about fundamental respect, don’t. The comments are so clearly outrageous and
light-hearted, you don’t compromise respect for the individual.

4.7 WHEN THE FAREWELLED ONE BITES BACK

You’re farewelling a staff member and they seize on the opportunity to criticize the company.
It’s commonplace when staff are made redundant. In the following example, accepting
feelings is by far the most important component. And remember that accepting feelings
does not imply acceptance of the facts being offered.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

37
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
AND INTERJECTIONS Handle the unexpected with relaxed confidence
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III hAndle the unexpeCted with relAxed ConfidenCe

You “Blaine, on behalf of us all, I

want to wish you the very best
with whatever you tackle next.”
Q “Well that’s a load of hypocrisy, You’re acknowledging him now and then
isn’t it? If this company wished me with a small forward inclination of the
well they wouldn’t have made me head. (not agreeing with him - just listening
redundant, would they? I work here and accepting him and his feelings). This
for 30 years and those heartless is no time to be defensive, nor to argue
bastards in head office still think facts and logic.
I’m a statistic. I’m the fifth one
this year. How bloody short-sighted
to waste all this experience and
get some pimple-faced teenager
that costs less. There, I’ve said
my piece.”
You “Blaine...” Responding only to feelings. It would
(Turn to audience with occasional be a mistake to debate the issue in the
glances to Blaine.) context of a farewell.
“…I don’t think there’s anyone here
who doesn’t know that you’re going
through a rough time. None of us
would find it easy... You said you’ll
probably try market gardening and
all of us here really do wish you
the very best of success with that.
But we also hope you’ll have more
time to get that sailboat out on the
harbour. Now, let’s go through to
the café. Afternoon tea is ready.”

The process reduces tension. His intention was to express feeling, and you acknowledged
The process reduces tension. His intention was to express feeling, and you acknowledged
precisely that without getting sucked into debating the face value of the words.
precisely that without getting sucked into debating the face value of the words.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

38
38
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

5 HOW TO FACILITATE
GROUP DISCUSSION
So, you want your audience to air their opinions. And you’d like an atmosphere in which:

• individuals feel free to speak

• the outcome is a clear picture of the various points of view – and sometimes a
consensus agreement
• extreme emotions are controlled (Four-letter words, personal abuse, throwing
cream buns, and screaming about lawyers are all off the menu.)

For that, you must change hats – from presenter to facilitator. The change should be clear
to the audience. You are no longer selling them your ideas, you’re helping them express
their opinions and ideas in a safe atmosphere.

5.1 BEFORE YOU BEGIN

5.1.1 THE PRE-DISCUSSION ATMOSPHERE

Here’s the question I’m asked most often: How do you encourage people to open their
mouths and contribute?

If you have any speaking to do beforehand, then there’s a lot you can do before even
mentioning the discussion. The better you engage with your audience beforehand, the more
they will want to speak up when the time is right.

Here’s a tip that will help:

Avoid rhetorical questions. Ask questions, but show that you expect a response. They must
see that you really are interested in their response, even the smallest nods or shakes of head.
And they must see your reaction to their response, even if it’s just an incline of the head.
If you don’t, the audience will think you’re not really interested in their opinions - which
bodes ill for inviting discussion later.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

39
HOW TO
HOW TO HANDLE
HANDLE QUESTIONS
QUESTIONS AND
INTERJECTIONS:
AND THE ENGAGING
INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND
PRESENTER PART III how to fACilitAte group disCussion
INTERJECTIONS: THE ENGAGING
PRESENTER PART III how to fACilitAte group disCussion
Small audience
Small audience
Small audience
You What do you really come Eyebrows raised – using your body language
You to What dofor?
work you really come Eyebrows
to show that raised
you– want
usinganyour bodyIflanguage
answer. no one
to work
(Look for? expectantly)
around to show that
responds, you want an answer. If no one
ask again.
(Look around expectantly) responds, ask again.
What’s your main reason? Usually this second question will encourage the
What’s your main
(Look around reason?
expectantly) Usually this second
first responses. Thenquestion
show yourwillown
encourage
reactionthe
to
(Look around expectantly) first responses.
the answers – aThen
nod, show your
a smile, own reaction
perhaps a pause to
the
think.answers – a nod,
And openly a smile,
show your perhaps
surprise aifpause to
you get
think.
an And openly
unexpected show your surprise if you get
response.
an unexpected response.

Large audience
Large
Large audience
audience
In a large group it takes more courage for an individual to speak up. So offer an alternative
In
In aspeaking.
a large
large group
group it
it takes
takes more
more courage
courage for
for an
an individual
individual to
to speak
speak up.
up. So
So offer
offer an
an alternative
alternative
to
to speaking.
to speaking.
You What do you really come You say this while looking around, eyebrows
You What
to workdofor?
you really come You
raisedsay this while
– pause, looking around, eyebrows
continue.
to work for? raised – pause, continue.
Give me an indication (raise Looking around expectantly – in silence. Some
Give
your me an indication
hand). (raise
Who would Looking
hands willaround
go up.expectantly – in silence. Some
your hand).
put your Who would
pay packet as the hands will go up.
put
mostyour pay packet
important as the
reason…?
most important reason…?
Thank you… who would Now people will be getting the pattern. Their
Thank you… who
count working would
as part of a Now people will
contributions be gettingvalued.
are genuinely the pattern. Their
count
team asworking
the mostasimportant
part of a contributions are genuinely valued.
team as the most important
reason…?
reason…?
Thank you… what about Again, be ready to show your reaction to their
Thank you… what about
the opportunities for Again, be even
responses, readyif to
it’s show
only ayour
raisedreaction toYou’re
eyebrow. their
the opportunities for
advancement? responses,that
showing evenyou’re
if it’s only a raised eyebrow.
listening… You’re
setting up the
advancement?
Who would count that showing that
discussion you’re listening… setting up the
atmosphere
Who
as thewould
most count
importantthat discussion atmosphere
as the most important
reason…?
reason…?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

40
40
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

5.2 STARTING THE DISCUSSION

5.2.1 ‘FRAME AND EXPLAIN’ THE AUDIENCE ROLE

Be especially careful of this one. If the audience is going to be in any doubt about their
role – their real influence on forthcoming decisions – you must let them know. When
you start a discussion on a topic that will affect the audience, they will often have this in
mind. Where do we stand? If we give you our opinions now, how much are they really worth
to you? Will you take any notice or are you just going through the motions? How much say will
we actually get?

Tell them up front.

FRAME AND EXPLAIN

Tell them openly what they can’t influence (out of frame)

and what they can (in frame)

Typically, you might use framing ideas like this:

The CEO will make the final decision, but first she wants to hear from us about
any problems we foresee. Your thoughts?

If we can reach a consensus now, that will be our decision.

I have decided to approve the proposal in principle. What I need now is your
opinions on how to go about it with the least disruption to your departments.
John and Julia, after we’ve discussed this, could you draw up a plan and bring it
to me? Let’s begin… (looking around expectantly).

But some framing words need special attention.

If you use words like consult, involve, collaborate, empower,

tell the audience what you mean by each word, and spell
out how you intend to keep the inherent promise

For example, consult. Normally that word induces rabid cynicism, but not if you use it
like this:

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

41
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

I want to consult you about this. By that I mean I’ll be asking for your opinions
now, I’ll listen to your concerns, and then act on them if possible. And I’ll bring
you feedback on how you influenced the decisions.

Do that, and watch the cynicism soften at the edges. It will vanish altogether when you follow
through on the promise. However, consultation does not normally mean agreement to do what
they say. If you do want it to mean that, then say so directly as part of ‘frame and explain’.

5.2.2 FORMAL, COMPREHENSIVE, MEANINGFUL CONSULTATION

For a moment, let’s step outside the immediacy of a live audience. Legal requirements for
consultation vary from nation to nation, but they’re likely to include these common sense
components of fairness:

• Give sufficient prior notice of a proposed decision

• Disclose all relevant information
• Provide reasonable opportunity for those affected to state their views
• Consider those views with an open mind.

Now, back to the everyday business meeting.

5.2.3 DECLARING YOUR POSITION

If they don’t know your agenda already, tell them openly up front, then ‘frame and explain’
their role. They must know where they stand and how much their opinion is really worth.

As things stand, I like the look of this design. But I don’t want to go ahead until
I’ve heard from you about any fishhooks I might have missed. Your thoughts?

Then facilitate their discussion listening with real interest, valuing all contributions equally.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

42
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

5.2.4 SETTING THE GROUND RULES

You won’t always need to, especially if you and your audience know each other and have
worked well together in the past. The rules will be understood. Nor is there any one formula
for how to set rules. But at the outset, you might use sentences like these:

Whatever your opinion I’m keen for us all to hear it. If you can explain why, even
better.

It’s important we all understand each other’s point of view, even if we don’t agree
with each other.

Let’s suspend judgement for this discussion so we can hear each other out.

Should we lay down rules to keep emotion out of it?

Usually no. Don’t squelch emotions. Heated exchanges, emotionally loaded comments, are
reality - passionless arguments may have little value. By accepting them you’re saying, We
are all bigger than the emotions being expressed on this issue. But, of course, there’s a limit. If
emotions get out of hand your discussion won’t go far.

5.3 KEEPING THEM INVOLVED

5.3.1 MOSTLY ASK OPEN QUESTIONS

Open questions inherently encourage discussion. Closed
questions discourage discussion – but may be useful as
pivot points, to summarise or change direction

Open questions prompt people to develop answers – at least in their own heads. They often
begin with how and why. Typically, when you ask them, you should look around expectantly,
eyebrows raised, and be prepared to tolerate silence while the audience thinks. Examples:

How should we proceed from this point?

Why do you think head office is asking for this?

Your thoughts?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

43
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

Your questions?

Your feelings?

I’m keen to hear your opinions.

I’ll need to get your opinions on this.

Okay, which proposal and why?

Where do you stand on this?

Most closed questions are useless. They’re conversation-stoppers unless people are already
fired up with enthusiasm, rivalry or anger. Examples:

Do you have any opinions?

Got any thoughts about this?

Who has questions?

Is the deadline feasible or not? Come on, you must have an opinion.

Look, do you want a discussion or not?

But some closed questions are useful, especially when you want to create a marker or turning
point in the discussion. Examples:

So you’re thinking of expanding the client list? (pause for reaction) Okay, so how
are we going to do it?

So it’s not going to work… have I understood you? (pause for reaction) In that
case, what do we do instead?

We’re in agreement then? Go for Saturday opening? (pause for reaction) Then we’ll
need to figure out how to staff it. Your thoughts?

We seem to have two schools of thought here. Some of us are saying that it’s a big
risk, some are saying yes it’s a risk but we should go ahead anyway. (Look around
expecting more comment.) Juanita, your thoughts?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

44
 HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

5.3.2 ACCEPTING CONTRIBUTIONS

Here’s a point missed by many presenters. But when you ask for questions, you can assertively
disagree with questioners who offer opposing arguments. When you ask for a discussion,
you can’t.

The purpose of a discussion is for the audience (and often you) to explore the issues from
the audience point of view. You might sometimes throw in relevant facts to help them, but
your job as facilitator temporarily outweighs your own opinions. Which means this:

When you ask for discussion, you cannot take sides. You
encourage and control debate, valuing every contribution
equally, regardless of your own opinions

360°
.
5.3.3 THE NON-JUDGEMENTAL THANK YOU

thinking
It’s easy enough to say the words ‘thank you’. But tone and body language can turn ‘thank
you’ into almost anything, including please go away and die. So, you have to mean it – but

360°
thinking . 360°
thinking .
Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers Dis

© Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers © Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Discoverfree
Download theeBooks
truth atatbookboon.com
www.deloitte.ca/careers
Click on the ad to read more
45
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

also get into the habit of inclining your head slightly towards the contributor. That’s more
than a nod, more like a bow of the head. Regardless of their point of view, everyone gets
the same gratitude from you, because they are contributing to an overall understanding.

Have you noticed how often the word ‘slightly’ is turning up to describe useful body
language? You can be extremely persuasive without huge body language – as long as your
entire body speaks the same language as your words and tone. That’s called synergy, when
the combined effect is greater than the sum of the individual effects.

5.3.4 ENCOURAGING THE QUIET ONES

There are always some who don’t like to speak up in a meeting. If you allow air time to
only the willing talkers, you’re not looking after your audience or your discussion. And
the solution is simple: wait until the current talker has finished, acknowledge that person,
then turn to the quiet one and say, “Maria?” with your eyebrows slightly raised. It’s a low
pressure way to help Maria over the shyness barrier.

5.3.5 THE FIRST NEGATIVE COMMENT

It’s a tipping point. The entire audience is interested in how you’ll handle it, and if you
handle it well there’s an almost tangible shift in the atmosphere. Good, I can express my
reservations without worrying about repercussions. Many a disaster has come from experts
feeling unable to express reservations with a project. An extreme example: just before the
last flight of the space shuttle Columbia, engineers felt unable to express their reservations.
Seven astronauts died in the explosion.

You value every comment equally, because each contributes to a real, overall understanding.
And remember, valuing a comment is not the same as agreeing with it.

5.3.6 HANDLING GRUMPY, CYNICAL INDIVIDUALS

They’ve seen it all. They think it’s all just talk, talk, talk and nothing ever changes. Unless
it’s extreme negativity, don’t treat them in any special way, just value their comments like
anyone else’s. But, keep in mind that if they respond to anything it will be questions that ask
for practical solutions. You could put those questions to the whole audience, but sometimes
you would put them to the grumpy individual.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

46
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

So what are we going to do, today, on the ground, to prepare?

Theory is all very well, but how will we actually apply this?

What do we need to put in place to make this happen?

5.4 CONTROLLING CROSSFIRE

Crossfire can be an excellent way of exploring a topic. So the moment they start responding
to each other, arguing with each other, let it happen. Encourage it, and make sure you stay
focused. The audience must see that you’re attending closely to everything being said and
ready to step in, to throw in useful facts, guide, interpret, or summarise.

And be ready to keep control. Crossfire can easily get out of hand, especially when egos
get involved. Look back a few pages to Setting the ground rules and below to Controlling
extreme emotion and personal abuse.

Discussions usually don’t run well without a facilitator. They often go off on a tangent, and
they can become so distorted by a vocal few that the true audience picture doesn’t emerge.
When you do step in, use neutral language like this:

Ganesh, I’m not clear on why you think the shareholders will object.

I think Katy’s point is that we can’t avoid a re-start. (A questioning glance to confirm
with Katy, look around, invite more comment with your eyes.)

We’re off on a side-track here. Let’s come back to the main issue – how are we
going to minimize the damage?

Conducting
If you’re facilitating, you’re almost literally conducting, often with your whole body.

It’s not enough to just say someone’s name to indicate who speaks next; nod towards that
person as you use his or her name. If it’s a high energy discussion – usually the most fun and
the most productive – you might gesture towards them (bend your fingers, don’t point), you
might incline your head, even tilt your whole body forward by a few millimetres. That last is
a tiny movement, barely noticeable, yet a mark of strong professional presence. An example:

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

47
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

Two people, Tim and José, try to speak at the same time. You might handle it like
this. Glance at both, use the palm of one hand to block Tim, use soft fingers of
the other hand to encourage José – probably nodding to him and saying his name.
When José is finished, you return to Tim.

I keep emphasizing the subtlety of body movements. But the bigger the audience, the bigger
those movements can and should be. (Look at Chapter 5, in the second book in the series:
HOW TO CONNECT WITH ANY AUDIENCE.)

Controlling extreme emotion and personal abuse

Out-of-control anger and personal abuse of others in the room are destructive and certainly
don’t help the discussion. Don’t say anything in advance, just deal with it firmly when it
happens. You are there to look after the audience. You might say:

Wait. We want your opinion, but please moderate your language.

We know you feel strongly about this, but the discussion will work better if you
can touch the brakes a little.

No more of that please. Personal abuse won’t help any of us get through this.

5.5 BRINGING DISCUSSION TO AN END

Usually sum up before closing.

So it’s mostly a no? (Pause, look around for confirmation.) Okay, thanks everyone.
I’ll take that to the full council meeting.

Let’s sum up. As I see it, we have two schools of thought. Most of us want the
extension funded by cutting the HR budget, but Eru and Kate, you’d rather see
it come out of Research and Development (Pause, look around for confirmation.).
Okay, thank you all. Next item…

Time to call a halt. Obviously we’re not unanimous, but the majority view seems
to be that we go ahead with the project, subject to review every month (pause, look
around for confirmation). Thank you all for your contributions. We’ll close there.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

48
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS How to facilitate group discussion

And I’ll close there. This has been Part III of the series The Engaging Presenter. In case you
missed the other two, they are:

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ANY AUDIENCE

The Engaging Presenter Part II

and

HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS AND INTERJECTIONS

The Engaging Presenter Part III

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

49
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Endnotes Part III

ENDNOTES PART III

1
Source: Goleman, Daniel, Emotional Intelligence, Bloomsbury, London, 1995.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

50
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Bibliography

BIBLIOGRAPHY
Brown, Ralph McK., Success at Work and at Home, Media Associates, Christchurch, 2004.

Covey, Stephen R., Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, The Business Library, Melbourne,
1993.

Cuddy, Amy., Presence, Orion, U.K., 2016.

Doidge, Norman, The Brain That Changes Itself, Scribe, 2008.

Damasio, Antonio, Descartes’ Error, Papermac, U.K., 1996.

Dalai Lama & Goleman, Daniel, Destructive Emotions, Bloomsbury, London, 2003.

Goleman, Daniel, Emotional Intelligence, Bloomsbury, London, 1995.

Goleman, Daniel, Social Intelligence, Bantam Press 2007.

Gray, Malcolm, Public Speaking, Schwartz and Wilkinson, Melbourne, 1991.

Humes, James C., The Language of Leadership, The Business Library, Melbourne, 1991.

Mehrabian, Albert & Ferris, Susan, Inference of attitudes from nonverbal communication in
two channels. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 1967, Vol. 31, No. 3, 248-252.

Mehrabian, Albert & Weiner, Moreton, Decoding of inconsistent communications. Journal of

Personality and Social Psychology, 1967, Vol. 6, No. 1, 100-114.

Moss, Geoffrey., Ways With Words, Government Printer, Wellington, 1980.

Sacks, Oliver, The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, Picador, London, 1985.

Toogood, Granville N., The Articulate Executive, McGraw-Hill, 1995.

Williamson, Marianne, A Return to Love, HarperCollins, New York, 1992.

Winston, Robert, The Human Mind, Bantam Press, U.K., 2004.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

51
HOW TO HANDLE QUESTIONS
AND INTERJECTIONS Other books by Michael Brown

OTHER BOOKS BY MICHAEL BROWN

Finding the Field

An old man stumbles on the ultimate truth to life and the universe, but there is only one
person he can tell—a young man who is unstable, dangerous, and on the run

The Taming of the Crew

The true story of the New Zealand family who sold up and sailed away into the worst
southern hemisphere storms for half a century

The Idiot Played Rachmaninov

A beautiful, mentally damaged woman is a passionate genius on the piano – and a catalyst
for resistance against a tyrannical government

The Weaver’s Apprentice

A young man with a supernatural gift shatters the peace of a remote fishing village

For details, go to www.michaelbrownbooks.com

or email info at michael brown books dot com

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

52