NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

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NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal communication is an essential part of the total communication package. From a nonverbal perspective, you
are a lighthouse of information continually sending messages, from which others derive the meaning.

There are 4 essential parts in it like

PROXEMICS

 Proxemics
In other words, it is the study of how humans use space when they are communicating. How close are they when they
stand next to someone, whether they touch them, and how comfortable they feel - are all part of the study of
proxemics.

Generally proxemics is categorized into three based upon territory,

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They are:

 Personal territory

 Physical territory

 Geographical territory

PERSONAL TERRITORY:

There are four kinds of distances that people generally use in communication. This can vary by place, and different
cultures have different standards. These are known as realms of personal territory.

 Public space is the space that characterizes how close we sit or stand to someone, like a public figure or public
speaker. So, if you are at an event listening to a professor giving a lecture, you are probably about 12 - 25 feet
away.

 Social space means we're getting a little closer, about 4 - 12 feet away. This is the kind of space you're probably
in, if you're talking to a colleague or a customer at work.

 Personal space is even closer. In this case, you're probably about 1 - 4 feet away from someone. This is
reserved for talking to friends or family.

 Intimate space is for people who you are very close to. In this case, you're probably less than a foot away.

PHYSICAL TERRITORY:

 Physical territory is a little bit different than personal territory. It's more about the ways that we arrange
objects in space.

 For example, you probably have your bed set up so that you face the centre of your bedroom, instead of the
wall.

 Another example of physical territory might be the colour of the walls in a room. Very bright colours have been
shown to be distracting.

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So, a person designing an office building probably would not choose to use bright orange or red paint on the walls, as
it might be jarring to employees or students.

GEOGRAPHIC TERRITORY:

 Finally, proxemics also involves the study of geographic territory. This is a lot like what it sounds like! It refers to
how we act depending on the kind of geographic space we're in. There are a few types of geographic territory:

 First, a person's primary territory refers to the space that is most comfortable, such as inside one's house.

 Secondary territory is also a space where you feel comfortable, but it's a little less private than your own
home. This might be a friend's house or a coffee shop you like to frequent.

 Public territory is what we call a neutral space. This means it's not our own space, but it's something like a
park or a city street. Depending on the space, we could feel comfortable or uncomfortable here.

Rapport Building:

Rapport is a state of harmonious understanding with another individual or group that enables greater and easier
communication. In other words rapport is getting on well with another person, or group of people, by having things in
common, this makes the communication process easier and usually more effective.

Sometimes rapport happens naturally, you ‘hit it off’ or ‘get on well’ with somebody else without having to try, this is
often how friendships are built. However, rapport can also be built and developed by finding common ground,
developing a bond and being empathic.

Non-Verbal Rapport Building

Although initial conversations can help us to relax, most rapport-building happens without words and through
non-verbal communication channels.

We create and maintain rapport subconsciously through matching non-verbal signals, including body positioning,
body movements, eye contact, facial expressions and tone of voice with the other person.

It is important that appropriate body language is used; we read and instantly believe what body language tells us,
whereas we may take more time persuading with vocal communication. If there is a mismatch between what we are
saying verbally and what our body language is saying then the person we are communicating with, will believe the
body language. Building rapport, therefore, begins with displaying appropriate body language

Helpful Rapport Building Behaviours

 If you are sitting then lean forward, towards the person you are talking to, with hands open and arms and legs
uncrossed. This is open body language and will help you and the person you are talking to feel more relaxed.

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 Look at the other person for approximately 60% of the time. Give plenty of eye-contact but be careful not to
make them feel uncomfortable.

 When listening, nod and make encouraging sounds and gestures.

Smile!

 Use the other person’s name early in the conversation. This is not only seen as polite but will also reinforce the
name in your mind so you are less likely to forget it!

 Ask the other person open questions. Open questions require more than a yes or no answer.

 Use feedback to summarise, reflect and clarify back to the other person what you think they have said. This
gives opportunity for any misunderstandings to be rectified quickly.

 Talk about things that refer back to what the other person has said. Find links between common experiences.

 Try to show empathy. Demonstrate that you can understand how the other person feels and can see things
from their point of view.

 When in agreement with the other person, openly say so and say why.

 Build on the other person’s ideas.

 Be non-judgemental towards the other person. Let go off stereotypes and any preconceived ideas you may have
about the person.

 If you have to disagree with the other person, give the reason first then say you disagree.

 Admit when you don’t know the answer or have made a mistake. Being honest is always the best tactic,
acknowledging mistakes will help to build trust.

 Be genuine, with visual and verbal behaviours working together to maximize the impact of your communication.

 Offer a compliment, avoid criticism and be polite.

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REPORT AND DATA TRANSCODING

Generally, data-transcoding means the process of converting data from one form to another form.

Data transcoding basically depends on

 Encoding

 Decoding

Encoding is the process of transforming data in to a different format using a method that is publicly available. The
purpose of this transformation is to increase the usability of data.

Decoding is the reverse process of encoding, which converts encoded information back in to the original format.

Decoding the Body language:

Others form impressions of us and may judge us to be more or less likable, assertive, or powerful based on
observations of our physical behaviour.

Watching a person’s body can help us answer questions such as the following:

 Do individuals like or dislike one another?

When we like each other, we tend to exhibit open postures and more direct body orientation, and we stand more
closely together than when we do not. Our bodies are also relatively relaxed, and our gestures are uninhibited and
natural. Such cues tend to stimulate interaction.

In contrast, if we do not like each other, our bodies emit very different cues. Instead of facing each other directly, we
exhibit incongruent and indirect body orientations. We are also likely to avoid sustained eye contact and display a high
degree of bodily tension and rigidity. It is harder to like someone who is closed off or all wrapped up in him- or herself.

 Is a person being assertive or non-assertive?

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An assertive person’s nonverbal behaviour is more relaxed and expansive than the nonverbal behaviour of someone
who is non-assertive. Unintentional movements of the body reflect the intensity of an emotional state of being.

Body language accounts for most of how we communicate and so it's helpful to know what certain cues can mean to
gain a better understanding of what people are telling you. Here's a helpful infographic that can teach the basics in just
a minute.

The image covers the standard cues, such as eye positions that indicate lies, standing positions indicate interest, the
difference between a fake and a genuine smile, and much more.

Decoding vs Encoding in Non Verbal Communication

There are actually two sides to body language:

Decoding is your ability to read people’s cues. It is how you interpret hidden emotions, information and personality
from someone’s nonverbal.

Encoding is your ability to send cues to other people. This is how you control your personal branding, what first
impression you give and how you make people feel when they are with you.

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NEGOTIATION SKILLS

 Negotiation is a method by which people settle differences. It is a process by which compromise or agreement
is reached while avoiding argument and dispute.

 In any disagreement, individuals understandably aim to achieve the best possible outcome for their position (or
perhaps an organisation they represent). However, the principles of fairness, seeking mutual benefit and
maintaining a relationship are the keys to a successful outcome.

Strong negotiation skills are hugely advantageous throughout one’s life, from the boardroom to the bar. These skills
largely rest on your ability to back up your words with physical actions that exude openness, honesty, and confidence.
This fosters trust and increases the other party’s desire to react cooperatively and reach agreement.

According to psychologists and a recent study from language experts Gengo, body language and non-verbal
communications has a greater impact in a discussion than the actual words that you say.

More than 55% of messages are conveyed through nonverbal cues like gestures and posture, and studies have shown
body language is a more accurate gauge of someone’s true attitudes and intentions than their tone of voice or words.
Studies have shown that people are 80% more likely to retain information that was communicated to them both orally
and visually.

Gain the edge in negotiations with fantastic non-verbal and body language tips to increase your rate of success and
stay way ahead of the game.

9 Body Language Tricks to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

1. SHOW UP ON TIME

The very first impression that you’ll make on a new client, potential boss, or corporate adversary occurs before you
step into the room or say a word.

Lateness damages the negotiation process in two ways: Firstly, it’s viewed as discourteous (or even insulting) and
implies incompetence and lack of integrity on the part of the latecomer, making the other party irritated and less
likely to want to reach an agreement. Secondly, the anxiety you’ll no doubt experience at being late will shatter the
calm, focused, and confident demeanor that you’ll need to summon if you’re to be successful in the negotiation itself.
So give yourself a fighting chance and show up on time.

2. PERFECT THE HANDSHAKE

Alright, you’ve arrived on time–well done! What’s next? The dreaded handshake.

A great deal has been written over the years on the art of the perfect handshake, but you can forget all of it. The most
and, really, only important thing about your handshake is that you have one at all.

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Researchers at the University of Chicago recently published a group of studies concluding that a handshake (any
handshake, even the floppy one from the guy down the hall) makes people feel comfortable, promotes honesty, and
increases the cooperative behaviors that lead to deal making.

3. NEGOTIATE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE

As much of your ability to set a positive tone for a successful negotiation rests on keeping control of your body
language, so does your intuition in responding to the body language and non-verbal cues of your potential opponents
before choosing to engage with them. The outcome of a game is often more than half decided when they make the
decision to sit down.

4. MAINTAIN FRIENDLY EYE CONTACT

Shakespeare, famous with lovers the world over, spoke as much for businessmen, politicians, and poker players when
he wrote that “the eyes are the windows of the soul.”

Indeed, eye contact is one of the single most powerful communication tools between two people, as it conveys
openness, sincerity, and trust.

Avoiding eye contact in a negotiation keeps a good rapport from developing. It gives the other person the feeling that
you’re being evasive or dishonest, both of which make negotiating very difficult.

On the other hand, eye contact is so powerful that too much of it can be threatening and seen as aggressive or
intimidating. You should keep relatively consistent eye contact, but remember that it’s natural to look away when
thinking or processing.

5. BE AWARE OF YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

You don’t have to be a business tycoon to be familiar with the often unwelcome effects your unintentional facial
expressions can have on the outcome of a discussion. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship has probably
experienced the feeling of sheer frustration when their partner stops short in the middle of a conversation and says
“What does that look mean?!”

Like it or not, in a negotiation setting your facial expressions will be under that same microscope, so try to make sure
that they enhance the positive verbal cues that you’re giving. Take care not to frown or wrinkle your forehead
worryingly and take the opportunity to smile and nod in agreement whenever possible. Keep your chin up, evoking
positivity, and your eyes level. Remember, the other person will be looking to see that your physical gestures mirror
your words–keep them both open and positive.

6. MAINTAIN PERSONAL SPACE: PROXEMICS

The science of personal space, otherwise referred to as “proxemics,” focuses on the distance between people as they
interact.

It’s important for each party to feel that their personal space is being respected and that they’re not being physically
intimidated. A safe rule is to sit or stand at least four feet away and study the other person to gauge their comfort
level.

7. KEEP YOUR LIMBS CALM AND OPEN

Just like you want the words that you’re saying to exude strength, confidence, and calm during a negotiation, so should
your body. If you’re constantly tapping your fingers or feet, entwining your hands, or crossing and uncrossing your
legs, it will signal that you are in a stressed, rather than thoughtful, state. Keep your legs calm and your hand
movements limited to expression rather than fidgeting.

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Non-verbal channels are 12.5 times more powerful than communicating interpersonal attitudes and feelings than the
verbal channel.

In the same vein, any level of crossed limbs or hands is going to be interpreted as being negative and closed off, which
won’t help you to elicit trust in any negotiation. No one wants to talk to someone who seems to have already made up
their mind! So uncross your arms and legs and keep some distance between your hands to appear open minded and
ready to listen to others’ points of view.

8. HANDS DOWN

Speaking of hands–they are incredibly expressive and can add a lot to your communication. When negotiating, the
general rule of thumb is to keep your hands away from your face. Rubbing one’s face or head is generally seen as a
symptom of anxiety, and anxious is the last thing you want to appear.

Likewise, having your hands over your mouth or eyes signals that you may be in the process of hiding or lying. Appear
confident and truthful by keeping your hands away from your face, unclenched, and open as much as you can.

9. SLOW DOWN AND KEEP QUIET

Everyone, no matter the situation, wants to feel that their input has been heard, respected, and considered before a
counter move is made. However, the stress of the negotiation, combined with your excitement and desire to get your
point across, can make you jumpy and overenthusiastic, rushing your words or even talking over the other person.
Listen closely to the other person, pause for a while to show you are thinking about what they said, and keep your
response slow and calm. This conveys respect but confidence in your position.

People remember 10% of information that is provided to them orally and just 20% of information that is provided to
them visually. However, 80% of information that is presented to a person both orally and visually is retained, meaning
that body language is just as important as being vocal.

Moreover, don’t be afraid to be silent for a short while, sparking the other person’s insecurities. The effects may
surprise you. As Lance Murrow advised, “Never forget the power of silence, that massively disconcerting pause which
goes on and on and may at last induce an opponent to babble and backtrack nervously.”

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Conflict, arguments, and change are natural parts of our lives, as well as the lives of every agency, organization, and nation.

Conflict resolution is a way for two or more parties to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among them. The
disagreement may be personal, financial, political, or emotional.

Successful conflict resolution occurs by listening to and providing opportunities to meet each side's needs, and
adequately address their interests so that they are each satisfied with the outcome. It aims to end conflicts before they
start or lead to verbal, physical, or legal fighting.

More common but not popular with practitioners in conflict resolution is conflict management, where Conflict is a
deliberate personal, social and organizational tool, especially used by capable politicians and other social engineers.

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Conflict resolution usually involves two or more groups with opposing views regarding specific issues, and another
group or individual who is considered to be neutral in their opinion on the subject.

Resolution methods can include

 Conciliation

 Mediation

 Arbitration or litigation.

These methods all require third party intervention

When a dispute arises, often the best course of action is negotiation to resolve the disagreement.

The goals of negotiation are:

 To produce a solution that all parties can agree to

 To work as quickly as possible to find this solution

 To improve, not hurt, the relationship between the groups in conflict

Conflict is classified into the following four types:

Interpersonal conflict refers to a conflict between two individuals. This occurs typically due to how people are
different from one another. We have varied personalities which usually results to incompatible choices and opinions.
Apparently, it is a natural occurrence which can eventually help in personal growth or developing your relationships
with others. In addition, coming up with adjustments is necessary for managing this type of conflict. However, when
interpersonal conflict gets too destructive, calling in a mediator would help so as to have it resolved.

Intrapersonal conflict occurs within an individual. The experience takes place in the person’s mind. Hence, it is a type of
conflict that is psychological involving the individual’s thoughts, values, principles and emotions. Interpersonal conflict
may come in different scales, from the simpler mundane ones like deciding whether or not to go organic for lunch to ones
that can affect major decisions such as choosing a career path. Furthermore, this type of conflict can be quite difficult to
handle if you find it hard to decipher your inner struggles. It leads to restlessness and uneasiness, or can even cause
depression. In such occasions, it would be best to seek a way to let go of the anxiety through communicating with other
people. Eventually, when you find yourself out of the situation, you can become more empowered as a person. Thus, the
experience evoked a positive change which will help you in your own personal growth.

Intragroup conflict is a type of conflict that happens among individuals within a team. The incompatibilities and
misunderstandings among these individuals lead to an intragroup conflict. It is arises from interpersonal
disagreements (e.g. team members have different personalities which may lead to tension) or differences in views and
ideas (e.g. in a presentation, members of the team might find the notions presented by the one presiding to be
erroneous due to their differences in opinion). Within a team, conflict can be helpful in coming up with decisions
which will eventually allow them to reach their objectives as a team. However, if the degree of conflict disrupts
harmony among the members, then some serious guidance from a different party will be needed for it to be settled.

Intergroup conflict takes place when a misunderstanding arises among different teams within an organization. For
instance, the sales department of an organization can come in conflict with the customer support department. This is
due to the varied sets of goals and interests of these different groups. In addition, competition also contributes for
intergroup conflict to arise. There are other factors which fuel this type of conflict. Some of these factors may include a
rivalry in resources or the boundaries set by a group to others which establishes their own identity as a team.

Conflict may seem to be a problem to some, but this isn’t how conflict should be perceived. On the other hand, it is an
opportunity for growth and can be an effective means of opening up among groups or individuals. However, when

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conflict begins to draws back productivity and gives way to more conflicts, then conflict management would be
needed to come up with a resolution.

Conflict resolution through negotiation can be good for all parties involved. Often, each side will get more by
participating in negotiations than they would by walking away, and it can be a way for your group to get resources
that might otherwise be out of reach.

Four key conflict resolution skills

The ability to successfully manage and resolve conflict depends on four key skills.

Conflict resolution skill 1:

Quickly relieve stress: The capacity to remain relaxed and focused in tense situations is a vital aspect of conflict
resolution.

If you don’t know how to stay centered and in control of yourself, you may become emotionally overwhelmed in
challenging situations. The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound, touch, taste,
and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.

Conflict resolution skill 2:

Recognize and manage your emotions: Emotional awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others.

If you don’t know how you feel or why you feel that way, you won’t be able to communicate effectively or smooth over
disagreements. If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on finding solutions that are strictly rational, your
ability to face and resolve differences will be impaired.

Conflict resolution skill 3:

Improve your nonverbal communication skills: The most important information exchanged during conflicts and
arguments is often communicated nonverbally.

When you’re in the middle of a conflict, paying close attention to the other person’s nonverbal signals may help you
figure out what the other person is really saying, respond in a way that builds trust, and get to the root of the problem.

Simple nonverbal signals such as a calm tone of voice, a reassuring touch, or a concerned facial expression can go a
long way toward defusing a heated exchange.

Conflict resolution skill 4:

Use humour and play to deal with challenges: You can avoid many confrontations and resolve arguments and
disagreements by communicating in a playful or humorous way.

Humour can help you say things that might otherwise be difficult to express without creating a flap. However, it’s
important that you laugh with the other person, not at them. When humour and play are used to reduce tension and
anger, reframe problems, and put the situation into perspective, the conflict can actually become an opportunity for
greater connection and intimacy.

Tips for managing and resolving conflict

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