Impasse and Intimacy:

Applying Berne's Concept of Script Protocol

William F. Cornell & N Michel Landaiche, III

The word "impasse" ... is an unfortunate and daunting term: "an impassable road or way;
a blind alley, cul-de-sac; hence, a position or predicament allowing no escape." ...
Still, it has usually been possible to back out or muddle our way to an escape route.
(McLaughlin, 1994, p. 1)

The closest relationships are the ones that we know the least about.
(Berne, 1970, pp. 114-115)

Abstract Eric Berne drew inspiration from his original

The concept of impasse was first concep- psychoanalytic training to create a new model
tualized in the transactional literature as an of psychotherapy that was both more efficient
intrapsychic process that inhibited or blocked and more user-friendly than the psychoanalysis
internal communication among states ofthe of his time. His model-transactional analysis
ego. The authors present an understanding -also proved more comprehensive. It could be
of impasse as an interpersonal process that used to analyze intrapsychic transactions within
disrupts the work of the professional dyad in the client's mind as well as interpersonal trans-
promoting self-understanding and develop- actions in the client's life. It could be used to
ment. As the working relationship deepens, treat individuals suffering from problems in ad-
it develops an unavoidable intimacy or close- dition to helping those seeking personal learning
ness, with many of the same pleasures and and growth. Transactional analysis could also
problems that attend any close relationship. be applied to understanding the dynamics and
In this often turbulent interpersonal field, difficulties of groups and organizations. These
points of impasse result from the mutual broad traditions continue to underlie the many
evocation of each person's unconscious rela- forms oftransactional analysis being practiced
tional patterns, which Berne called proto- and taught today. They also continue to make
cols. The character of any impasse is, there- transactional analysis a powerful tool for social
fore, unique to each therapeutic couple and learning and change.
operates principally at an unworded, body Yet there are times when the model functions
level. Once an impasse has developed, re- poorly. In spite ofour best efforts, certain inter-
suming productive work depends on realiz- actions with some clients become intractably
ing what each person does, what each avoids, stuck. What can transactional analysis teach us
and how each becomes stuck when addres- about resolving such impasses in our therapeu-
sing the vulnerabilities and intimacies of this tic, educational, and consultingwork? How could
work. These concepts are illustrated with transactional analysis be modified to increase
material from a clinical case. its usefulness in these difficult encounters?
Looking back, we can see that-along with
the many useful traditions inherited by transac-
tional analysis practitioners and trainees-there
are also some that seem counterproductive. For
The original version of this article was published as example, in spite of Berne's sincere effort to
"Impasse e intimata nella coppia terapeutica 0 di coun-
seling: I' influenza del protocollo .. in Revista Italiana di develop a treatment model that was more ac-
Analisi Tranzionale E Metodologie Psicoterapeutiche, n. cessible to clients and based on a mutual, con-
II, pp. 35-60. It is republished here with permission. tractual working relationship, he also held

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 IMPASSE AND INTIMACY: APPLYING BERNE'S CONCEPT OF SCRIPT PROTOCOL

himself carefully apart from his clients and his on understanding the relationship dynamics
therapeutic engagement with them, much as his between the professional and client. Gradually,
psychoanalytic contemporaries did. Berne main- however, the term "impasse" was used to de-
tained the role ofthe external observer, examin- scribe the experience of being stuck in the
ing and analyzing patterns of intrapsychic and working relationship, as impasses were initially
interpersonal interaction in his diagnosis of being explored by Novellino (1984), Moiso
each client's ego states, transactions, games, (1985), and others. Even Bob Goulding, 10
and script phenomena. Berne's emphasis on years later, was discussing impasses in terms of
making change through conscious, intentional the therapist's countertransference contribution
choice has also fostered a professional culture (Hoyt & Goulding, 1989).
that can be intolerant ofwhat cannot be changed This shift was consistent with growing inter-
through insight alone. est in the transactional analysis community in
We in transactional analysis can trace some understanding the dynamics of the working re-
of our technical failures to this legacy of dis- lationship through such concepts as parallel
engagement on the part of the therapist and an process, transference and countertransference,
overemphasis on the cognitive. However, this and projective identification and the contribu-
legacy also continues to exert its influence be- tions these phenomena make to difficulties in
cause of the considerable difficulties that arise treatment. Today, discussions of transference
when working in a more engaged manner. When and countertransference are as common in trans-
it comes to making contact with states of self actional analysis as they are in other schools of
and affect that do not readily lend themselves psychotherapy. We, therefore, believe it is im-
to words or diagrams, many ofus are reluctant portant for transactional analysts to be familiar
to experience the disturbances our clients bring with these and related terms, if only to access
to and evoke in us. Yet such disturbances seem the rich literature and ongoing debates pertain-
an inevitable consequence of the intimacy that ing to these complex dynamics in psychother-
develops in every therapeutic and consulting apy, counseling, teaching, and supervision.
relationship. The very nature ofsuch close con- While most of the literature addressing these
tact between any two or more human beings is issues has been written from a clinical perspec-
bound to affect us at levels that operate outside tive, we see these dynamics operating across
of consciousness and that inform our most the range of psychotherapeutic, counseling,
fundamental patterns ofrelating. As a result, we training, supervisory, and educational fields.
may discover ourselves and our working rela- Thus, throughout this article we with refer to
tionships stalled in habitual ways of being, professionals and practitioners so as not to iso-
often accompanied by feelings of frustration, late this discussion to clinical fields.
anger, and a sense of inadequacy. Once our work An impasse typically impoverishes the thera-
has become so maddeningly stuck, how do we peutic or consultative experience. Impasses
find our way back to productive engagement? situated within the client's intrapsychic dynam-
ics (i.e., within script and counterscript) will
Theoretical Perspectives on the Nature of limit the client's Adult capacities, and autono-
Impasses mous functioning may be severely compro-
In the early transactional analysis literature, mised by childhood influences. In the face of
the term "impasse" was used by Goulding and actual client-centered impasses, the profes-
Goulding (1978, 1979), Erskine (1978/1997), sional will most likely be able to observe,
Johnson (1978), Mellor (1980), and others to think, and relate effectively, and these abilities
refer to a conflict or stalemate between ego states can then function as significant resources for
within the client. The term did not refer to a the client who is trying to get out of his or her
breakdown in the therapeutic process per se. own bind. However, sometimes the client's
Therefore, interventions to address impasses professional resource is disabled when conflicts
were designed to facilitate a resolution and and inhibitions within the professional's func-
were focused on intrapsychic redecisions, not tioning restrict his or her capacity to observe,

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WILLIAM F. CORNELLAND N. MICHELLANDAICHE, III

think, and relate flexibly. In such situations, relationship. When the understanding of im-
professional-centered supervision is necessary passes moves from the intrapsychic realm of
to prevent the work from becoming repetitive, the client to include the interpersonal realm be-
superficial, cognitively dominated, and ulti- tween client and practitioner (therapist, educa-
mately ineffective or harmful, Once the therapist tor, consultant, etc.), then various forms of
or consultant has resolved his or her own im- transference/countertransference come into play
passe, the client can return to making use ofthe as described in the following section.
professional as a source of help. Transference and Countertransference. The
Intrapsychic Impasse. One means of under- essence oftheories oftransference and counter-
standing a point of impasse within the thera- transference is that there is unconscious com-
peutic/educational process is to focus on a po- munication and interpersonal pressure from the
tential impasse within the mind (between the client to the therapist arising from the client's
ego states) ofthe client. The theory ofimpasses emotional (Child ego state) confusion of the
was first developed in transactional analysis by therapist with an early parental figure that causes
Goulding and Goulding (1978, 1979) and fur- the therapist to seem to the client to feel and
ther elaborated by Mellor (1980). behave like that historical figure. Berne's game
According to Mellor (1980), first-degree im- theory provides one avenue for analyzing and
passes are the internalization ofverbalized and intervening in the interpersonal communication
demonstrated parental counterinjunctions and patterns that sustain transference/countertrans-
accordingly are carried in language. Second- ference dynamics. Seen from the perspective of
degree impasses are a result of script-level in- script theory, the client's script is enacted with-
junctions originating much earlier in develop- in the transference/countertransference matrix
ment and are encoded and communicatedthrough with the unconscious cooperation of the thera-
emotions. Mellor posits third-degree impasses pist, who has been drawn into participating as
as being related to "primal protocols" (p. 214) a character in the client's script. Seen from the
that originate in "very early experience, per- perspective of classical transactional analysis,
haps even prenatal" (p. 214). In keeping with the therapist is hooked into a game that main-
the redecision model developed by the Gould- tains the client's script, and neither is able to
ings, Mellor goes on to suggest that treatment think clearly about what is occurring. The in-
interventions focus on remembering/recreating ability ofthe therapist and client to step outside
with the client the scenes in which the original of what is happening and think about it creates
parental injunctions were taken in by the child, the conditions for an impasse in which the in-
which led the child to make a script decision terpersonal behavior becomes repetitive and
that becomes evident in later life through areas thus reinforced rather than changed.
of intrapsychic impasse. In this model, resolu- In our view, script-centered, historical inter-
tion offirst-degree impasses between P 2 and C2 pretations that focus primarily on the intrapsy-
occurs through redecisions from A 2 , and reso- chic conflicts and distortions within the client
lution of second-degree impasses occurs be- can serve to keep the professional's own intra-
tween PI and C 1 by redecision in AI' Third- psychic experience out of view, thus shielding
degree impasses are understood to occur be- the professional and client from the intimacies
tween Po and Co with the redecision by Ao, but and uncertainties oftheir working relationship.
we fmd it hard to conceive of a "redecision" As Rosenfeld (1987/1995) observed, "If the
being made at a level of psychic experience analyst has many areas which can be described
and organization that has no real capacity to as 'private: no entry' ... then the analyst and
observe or think. We suggest, and will elabo- patient may collude unconsciously to keep
rate later, that third-degree impasses are rooted those areas out of the analysis and so create a
in the level ofexperience Berne called protocol therapeutic impasse" (p. 39).
and that they are enacted within the working The literature on transference and counter-
relationship and change as they are reorganized transference is immense, and detailed consid-
(rather than redecided) within the therapeutic eration of it is outside the scope of this paper

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 IMPASSE AND INTIMACY: APPLYING BERNE'S CONCEPT OF SCRIPT PROTOCOL

Within the transactional analytic literature, rea- Ekstein and Wallerstein were perhaps the
ders are referred to thorough discussions of first to use the term "parallel process," by which
these dynamics in two special issues of the they meant that the therapist's problems of
Transactional Analysis Journal (Friedlander, understanding and learning in supervision are
1991a, 199Ib), as well as in Clarkson (1992) related to the patient's problems in therapy.
and Hargaden and Sills (2002). Over time, these They emphasized that the supervisor and the
tenus have come to refer to unconscious emo- therapist can also create a parallel process that
tional and psychological patterns between is then conveyed back to the patient because
therapist and client in which the therapist may supervision is also an emotionally charged pro-
be drawn into the client's script or vice versa. cess devoted to learning and change in which
Script-level interpretations and interventions both parties can experience personal vulner-
with one or both members of the pair are ability and stuck points.
needed to dislodge the impasse. Arlow emphasized that elements of parallel
Parallel Process. Parallel process is a form process are inevitable and educative for all (su-
of transference in which the practitioner enacts pervisor, therapist, and client). For him, paral-
with a third party (typically a supervisor) dy- lel process is a result of the therapist's iden-
namics that originally arose with a client. Dis- tification with the conflicts and struggles ofthe
cussions of parallel process tend to posit the patient. Parallel process is a result of an over-
origins of a therapeutic impasse within the identificationin which the therapistcannot clearly
functioning of the therapist rather than the cli- observe and think about what is going on and
ent. The central supervisory intervention is to so transmits the problem in supervision through
identify an element ofthe therapist's script that actions rather than words. Arlow stresses that
has been evoked in the work, because once "in parallel process does not mean that the thera-
script," the therapist can no longer be effective. pist is stuck in a pathological countertransfer-
Supervisory attention is then shifted to the ence (i.e., "hooked in script") but is engaged in
therapist's intrapsychic experience and away a level of experience with the client that is not
from that of the client. Although little has ac- yet available through words. He emphasized
tually been written in the transactional analysis that supervision is a kind of psychoanalysis of
literature about parallel process, use ofthe con- a psychoanalysis. It is not a psychoanalysis of
cept has become commonplace within the the psychoanalyst. We strongly concur that the
supervisory models used in transactional analy- function ofsupervision, especially when work-
sis training throughout Europe and North ing with points of impasse in treatment and/or
America. However, in our experience, it seems parallel process, is to reach an understanding
that the concept of parallel process has been and opening up of the therapeutic process-it
taken up in supervisory contexts without suffi- is not a form of treatment of the professional.
cient explication and examination in the pub- Projective Identification. Projective identifi-
lished transactional analysis literature. cation, an aspect of transference (Goldstein,
The concept of parallel process emerged in 1991; Ogden, 1982), was first articulated with-
the psychoanalytic literature within discussions in the Kleinian tradition (Klein, 1946). It in-
of the supervisory process as first put forth by volves a deep, unconscious pattern of emo-
Searles (1955), Eksteinand Wallerstein (1958), tional communication, usually from the client
and Arlow (1963). Each of these explorations to the practitioner but also potentially from the
of the supervisory process makes rich reading, practitioner to the client or the supervisor.
quite apart from the specific issues we are ad- Kleinians offer a particular understanding of
dressing here. For example, Searles described projective identification as "that aspect of the
the process through which a therapist would transference that involves the therapist's being
unconsciously show (we would now say "en- enlisted in an interpersonal actualization (an
act") rather than tell the patient about those as- actual enactment between patient and therapist)
pects oftheir interactions with which the thera- of a segment of the patient's internal world"
pist had great difficulty. (Ogden, 1982, p. 69).

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WILLIAM F. CORNELLANDN. MICHELLANDAICHE, III

We understand projective identification as an We have also found that often at exactly those
unconscious effort at affect regulation in which points of breakthrough from script (that of the
the client experiences an emotional, intrapsy- client or the practitioner}-that is, just when
chic disturbance, usually a state ofintense affect, one might expect an impasse to be resolved-a
that he or she cannot tolerate. This affective stalemate may nonetheless occur. At such times
disturbance is understood to be projected by in treatment and change, intense anxiety may
the client into the professional, who then feels emerge within the working dyad (in contrast to
what the client cannot tolerate. In these situa- an intrapsychic disturbance in one or the other
tions the professional's feelings, while often ofthe pair). This anxiety seems to be generated
intense and uncomfortable, are not a result of by the simultaneous breaking of the familiarity
his or her own unresolved conflicts (as is under- and predictability ofscript combined with move-
stood in parallel process) but are a consequence ment into unfamiliar, unmapped modes ofrela-
of the projection of the client's disowned feel- ting. These moments are more a matter of fall-
ings. If the practitioner is able to tolerate and ing into health and novelty rather than into
observe these states of projected affect, she or pathology and history.
he can contain the disturbance and use those In addition to our understanding ofimpasses
affective states to understand the client's inter- from the perspectivesjust described-intrapsy-
nal world. Gradually the feelings can then be- chic impasse, transference/countertransference,
come tolerable to the client and can be used for parallel process, and projective identification
self-understanding and conscious communica- -we have gained significant insight from the
tion. When the professional is unable to toler- use of Berne's original concept of protocol
ate these deep states of affective disturbance, (Berne, 1961, p. 117; 1963/1975, p. 228). At
an impasse is likely to occur in which there will moments of potential therapeutic transforma-
be a defensive splitting of good and bad- tion, there are no templates for the future, which
tolerable and intolerable-that renders under- creates both excitement and anxiety. We have
standing and conscious communication virtu- observed that at these times there is often a
ally impossible. heightened vulnerability to the reemergence of
These conceptualizations of intrapsychic our earliest relational patterns, which Berne
impasse, parallel process, transference/counter- called protocols, as a means of managing the
transference, and projective identification are anxiety of the unknown. When early protocols
each a description ofthe defensive dynamics of emerge within the working dyad, impasse is
script and tend to suggest that impasses reflect much more likely to occur than transformation
the psychopathology of the client, the mental and growth.
health professional, or both. We have found, Before discussing Berne's theory ofprotocol,
over years of training and supervision, that we will elaborate the idea ofthe "working cou-
these terms are often useful, but not always suf- ple" in the context ofeducation, treatment, and
ficient, for understanding and changing points consultation.
of'interpersonal impasse. Moreover, these ideas
are often accompanied by both attributions of The Working Couple
immaturity to all unconscious and unworded To understand the dynamics of impasse that
phenomena and a mystification of ordinary arise in the course ofpsychotherapy, education,
modes of nonverbal communication. We wish supervision, and consultation, we have found it
to emphasize that such mystification and judg- useful to frame them in terms of a working
mental attributions to the unconscious and the therapeutic or consultative couple.
nonverbal do not help professionals or clients Obviously, the term "couple" can be highly
understand that we continually live large sec- evocative. It is often associated with sexuality,
tors ofour lives outside ofconscious awareness romance, and the parental dyad along with ima-
and that we conduct many of our most essen- ges ofsexual, romantic, and partnering failure.
tial, nonproblematic, and often intimate trans- All of these emotional features and fantasies
actions without using words. can arise in professional relationships that form

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 IMPASSE AND INTIMACY: APPLYING BERNE'S CONCEPT OF SCRIPT PROTOCOL

for the purpose of promoting self-understand- "intimacy"-as we do "couple"-forits evoca-

ing and development. Human relationships al- tive associationsofphysical and emotionalproxi-
ways operate within erotic fields of varying mity and for its precision. Weare not sugges-
intensities. In any new relationship, there is fre- ting a therapeutic goal or ideal.
quentlya sense ofhope and romance associated Intimacy sometimes connotes tenderness and
with what the other might bring to make one's quiet. But for some it can evoke crowding, suf-
life richer. And once any two ofus begin work- focation, and noise. Perhaps at its most produc-
ing together, we typically develop a sense of tive, intimacy is a bodily capacity for sustaining
familiarity that can move between trust and affect, thinking, and working to put experiences
mistrust and comfort and irritation, not to men- into language within an ongoing relationship.
tion autonomy and dependence. All of these Even without physical contact, intimacy de-
conditions can stimulate our most fundamental scribes the way we get into and under the skin
sense of what it means to be in relationship of the other person and the way the other gets
with our intimates. into and under our skin, too. It is not always
For these reasons, we believe the word "cou- pleasurable, although it sometimes can be.
ple" aptly describes the intimacy characteristic In some situations, intimacy may encourage
of therapy, consultation, and mentoring. Al- the capacity for experimentation, exploration,
though a couple usually refers to a dyadic rela- self-reflection, and recognition of differences
tionship, the emotional characteristics associ- as well as the capacity for those involved to
ated with the word apply as well in settings in think together about the functioning ofthe cou-
which there are more than two people working ple or the group. It may also encourage the re-
together. And while the terms "group" and verse: the avoidance ofdifferences, the collapse
"family" also can be emotionally charged, they of thinking and reflection, and the prohibition
fail to convey the degree of proximity that de- ofdynamic interplay. Indeed, the intimacy that
velops in group contexts and within which all develops within therapeutic and consultative
individuals working together must come to couples may be characterized by many of the
some recognition oftheir own bodily responses same gratifications, satisfactions, irritations,
and unspoken patterns of interaction. Simply and blinds spots that attend any of our closest
put, the term "couple" points to our most intense, relationships. Such intimacy often touches and
primary, and challenging modes of relating. disturbs us where we least expect it and, par-
Furthermore, the image of the couple under- ticularly, where we are least prepared to under-
scores a fundamental human process of inter- stand what is going on. Even when interactions
action to which certain professional skills and within the working couple are apparently going
contractual obligations are brought to bear. The well, we are always deeply immersed in modes
contract in a professional setting may be to of being that have been typical throughout our
address what is not working in the client's life, lives with other intimates, both past and pres-
what is insufficiently developed, or what new ent. At the same time, regardless of how things
personal or professional skills need to be learned. are going, the ground is being laid for the
Any of these may be the reason working thera- unique interplay and character that develops
peutic or consultative couple comes into being. within each therapeutic or consultative couple.
Yet the inherent relational asymmetry is also And it is on that rich and unwitting basis-in
counterbalanced by the fact that neither party is that complex, often turbulent interpersonal field
necessarily healthier, smarter, or better edu- -that intimacy can so easily lead to impasse.
cated. Both can contribute as full partners to In a consultative, learning, or therapeutic set-
the task at hand. ting, impasse describes the experience of the
As this couple begins to work, the develop- work being stuck-unable to move forward or
ment of intimacy or closeness is unavoidable, step out of its repetitive loop. An impasse for
even in situations in which there appears to be the therapeutic or consultative couple is charac-
substantial professional distance. In recognition terized by the loss ofreflective or free-thinking
of this fact of relational life, we use the term capacities. It is an induction into an automatic

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WILLIAM F. CORNELL AND N. MICHEL LANDAICHE, III

or predictable way of being with self and oth- the couple. For instance, in a therapist-client
ers, an arrested form of development. In es- couple, hopefully the impasse can be brought
sence, the relationship of the couple stops to supervision before the desperate professional
evolving and maturing. Both members of the escalates the diagnosis of his or her own pathol-
couple become stuck in a region of the mind ogy or that of the client.
and body that neither can think about. This is Impasses within the professional couple, how-
typically due to the intensityofaffect that resides ever, can threaten the very existence of the
in our closeness with one another and the pas- work as well as the viability ofthe relationship.
sions we inevitably experience in that proximity. These are the relational impasses in which it is
Many impasses take the form of covert con- not uncommon for the psychotherapist or con-
tracts or collusions that are negotiated outside sultant to terminate the work prematurely (some-
awareness of the working couple. These take times under the guise of making a more appro-
innumerable forms, as diverse as the quality of priate referral) or in which clients feel deeply
the intimacy that can develop between any two damaged and may themselves abruptly quit,
people. And although impasses are often seen personally attack the therapist, or bring ethics
as a kind of catastrophic or overtly destructive charges. We find it helpful to think of these in-
stuckness, there are also impasses of the bliss- timate, seemingly intractable impasses as aris-
fully stuck kind in which there is an agreement, ing out of the mutual evocation of each per-
again made outside awareness, to remain in a son's unconscious, relational protocols, as Berne
state of immovable complementarity. defined the concept.
Whatever the emotional valence of the im-
passe, it is typically the result of an overload or Protocol: The Relational Template for
threat of affect that gets out of hand and mind. Intimate Contact and Disturbance
However, impasses can also occur in the appar- Before proposing his idea of "protocol,"
ent absence of any affect, within a working Berne was deeply interested in what he called
relationship that looks and feels utterly dead, intuition, which today we might see as the un-
especially if an unconscious agreement has conscious organization of sensory, nonverbal
been reached within the couple not to stir things experiences. Berne's early writings on this top-
up too much. As Hinshelwood (1994) asked: ic were collected posthumously in Intuition and
What is going on when it seems nothing is Ego States (Berne, I977a).
going on? The stilling of lively contact by In one of these papers, "Intuition IV: Primal
the patient-perhaps with the analyst's Images and Primal Judgments," Berne (1955/
collusion-can be understood as a protec- 1977) discussed the relationship between the
tive endeavor to remain afloat among flood- infant's early, primal image of a significant
ing anxieties. (p. 193) other and the infant's primal judgment based
The threat of affective intensity can be suffi- on that image. He defined the primal image as
cient to sustain a stillness that is at once reas- the infant's "pre-symbolic, non-verbal repre-
suring and deadening. sentation ofinterpersonal transactions" (p. 67).
In an intimate impasse,both people are trapped In essence, a primal image is an impression
in a mode of relating and both experience it as made on the child's body by a significant oth-
the only available option. Impasse is a kind of er's "mode ofrelating" (p. 68). It is a cluster of
emotional activation that occurs ''under the sensations, organized outside awareness by the
skin" and that is responded to in highly repeti- child, one that reflects his or her experience of
tive, sometimes nonproductive ways, as ifeach another before the child has access to words or
party only knows one thing to do under the cir- symbols. Berne considered the child's organiz-
cumstances. With any luck, some intervention ing role to be an act of primal judgment, simi-
can be made to address this process (often in- lar to the judgments we make about our worlds
put from a third party) while there is still time throughout life and, in particular, about others
to discover what is going on, before the illusion we see as significant allies or enemies. Berne
of permanence has a chance to kill the life of defined this kind ofjudgment as "an image of

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 IMPASSE AND INTIMACY: APPLYING BERNE'S CONCEPT OF SCRIPT PROTOCOL

reality which affects behavior and feelings to- relationships. It becomes largely forgotten
ward reality. An image is formed by integrating (unconscious) and is replaced by a more
sensory and other impressions with each other civilized version, the script proper: a plan
and with inner tensions based on present needs of which the individual is not actively
and past experiences" (p. 72). aware (preconscious), but which can be
In Berne's conception, the formation of the brought into consciousness by appropriate
image and the action ofjudging are nearly simul- procedures.(p.228)
taneous processes. They describe what occurs In essence, Berne suggested that the protocol
when we have a flash of intuition about a per- is a latent level ofsomatic and relational organi-
son or situation we have encountered, an assess- zation that precedes the formation ofscript and
ment that mayor may not be accurate. Berne operates outside of conscious awareness. Con-
essentially combined his early ideas about pri- temporary infant observation research suggests
mal images and primal judgments into his later that relational protocols are established well
concept of the protocol. With characteristic before the age of five. In his groundbreaking
humor, Berne (1963/1975) conveyed his sense observations, Stem (1985) wrote:
of the simultaneously creative and defensive Our concern ... is with preverbal infants
functions of the protocol: and with different happenings such as what
Each person has an unconscious life plan, happens when you are hungry and at breast,
formulated in his earliest years, which he or what happens when you and mom play
takes every opportunity to further as much an exciting game. Moreover, our interest
as he dares in a given situation. This plan concerns not only the actions but also the
calls for other people to respond in a de- sensations and affects. What we are con-
sired way.... The original set of experi- cerned with, then, are episodes that in-
ences which forms the pattern/or the plan volve interpersonal interactions of differ-
[italics added] is called the protocol. .... ent types. Further, we are concerned with
Partly because of the advantages of being the interactive experience, not just the in-
an infant, even under bad conditions, every teractive events. I am suggesting these epi-
human being is left with some nostalgia sodes are also averaged and represented
for his infancy and often for his childhood preverbally. (p. 97)
as well; therefore, in later years he strives What Berne accounted for initially in his specu-
to bring about as close as possible a repro- lations about intuition and subsequently in his
duction of the original protocol situation, observations of the protocol would today be
either to live it through again if it was en- accounted for in the contemporary language of
joyable, or to try to re-experience it in a implicit relational knowing (Lyons-Ruth, 1999)
more benevolent form if it was unpleasant. or the coconstruction ofintersubjectivity (Beebe
(pp.218-219) & Lacbmann, 2000).
As Berne (1963/1975) went on to describe, Protocol-based behavior is not a game-like,
these unconscious patterns of relating then be- ulterior form of communication but a deeply
come the basis for later script decisions: compelling, implicit (wordless) memory ofpri-
The original drama, the protocol, is usu- mary relational patterns lived through the im-
ally completed in the early years of child- mediacy of bodily experience. Protocols func-
hood, often by the age of 5, occasionally tion as ongoing, unconscious templates for mak-
earlier. This drama may be played out ing judgments about the significant figures and
again in more elaborate form, in accord- encounters in our lives. Yet protocols are not
ance with the growing child's changing necessarily pathological; they embody an in-
abilities, needs and social situation, in the nate human capacity for making unconscious
next few years. Such a later version is sense of life with others. They only become
called the palimpsest. A protocol or pa- problematic when they interfere with the ability
limpsest is of such a crude nature that it is to generate new bodily and relational possibili-
quite unsuitable as a program for grown-up ties.

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WILLIAM F. CORNELLAND N. MICHELLANDAICHE, III

According to Steere (1985), one of the few with psychotic patients, which they do by
transactional analysis practitioners and re- listening "freely to the patient's pain" and by
searchers to substantively address the concept establishing "an intimate Child-Child com-
of protocol, munication and a therapeutic alliance with the
the best explanation for the phenomenon Adult ... even during the psychotic phase" (p.
of protocol is that the Child ego state 252).
preserves in particular psychomotor pat- Protocol is not a set of adaptive or defensive
terns an often repeated sequence ofevents decisions like a script. It is not remembered in
from formative years. Our earliest way of a narrative fashion but felt/lived in the imme-
thinking, from birth to 18 month according diacy of one's body. Protocol is the literal em-
to Piaget (Piaget & Inhelder, 1954), is in bodiment ofthe repetitive, often affectively in-
the form ofsensorimotor schemes .... The tense, patterns of relatedness preceding the in-
sensorimotor constructs contain all the cog- fant's capacity of ego function. Script, in con-
nitive substructures that will serve as a trast, is-as Berne emphasized-preconscious,
point of departure for later perceptual and that is, potentially available to conscious aware-
intellectual development, as well as the ele- ness. Script can be recognized as an adaptation
mentary affect reactions that shape emo- of the ego, often to the underlying protocol.
tionallife. (p. 254) The situations in which script decisions are
Given how little Berne actually wrote about made can often be remembered in the context
protocol, it is not surprising that not much else of some sort of story or narrative. Protocol, on
has been written about this key concept in his the other hand, precedes and underlies the
theory. The term "protocol" has typically been subsequent, narrative-based script.
used only in passing by most transactional analy- We are suggesting that with his concept of
sis theorists. As an exception, Greve (1976) protocol, Berne was trying to capture the sense
proposed a form of intervention for protocol of the most fundamental, nonverbal aspects of
based on the gestalt redecision models preva- what it means to relate to someone. He was de-
lent at the time. Steere (1985), as just noted, scribing an unconscious, fundamental relational
explored in greater depth the way protocol ele- experience that underlies many transferential
ments appear in bodily postures as clients live experiences, be they expressed as impasses, en-
out their scripts. Hostie (1984) and MUller actments, parallel process, or projective identi-
(2000) discussed protocol in the context of the fication. Protocol is a kernel of nonverbal,
evolution of Berne's thinking, and Cornell somatic experience that may be touched or trig-
(2003) has elaborated Berne's original concept gered in intimate relationships. Such moments
more explicitly in terms ofcontemporary inter- are often impregnated with both hope and dread.
est in somatic process, unconscious communi- When the experience of a therapeutic relation-
cation, and creative interplay in therapy. ship evokes protocol, the Child ego state is
Woods (2003) is among the contemporary deeply opened, and the transference dynamics
transactional analysts who believe it is impor- that may then be played out become more anxi-
tant to focus attention on here-and-now com- ety provoking and more difficult to tolerate,
munications between the client and profes- understand, and resolve for both client and
sional, on communications that are occurring practitioner. Protocol does not exist separate
outside awareness, and on the unconscious con- from a person's sense of self but is the very
tent of games. From that perspective, exclu- matrix from which we each organize our rela-
sively historical interpretations of client proto- tional experiences. It is inextricable from our
col material can be experienced as distancing bodies and selves. The most salient aspect of
from the immediate encounter with that client's protocol, as distinct from script, is that it can-
active, if unconscious, sense of self in the not be cognitively changed, redecided, or re-
world and in interaction with the professional scripted. Protocol can only be brought into
today. Caravella and Marone (2003) wrote of awareness, understood, and lived within. We
this balanced attention in regard to working can only alter how we behave as a consequence

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 IMPASSE AND INTIMACY: APPLYING BERNE'S CONCEPT OF SCRIPT PROTOCOL

ofour protocols. In short, we can decide not to invaded by her. With her smell and her mad-
act on the sense made with our bodies at one ness, he could not maintain his script-based
time in life if that sense does not serve us well distancing. He felt moved by her, touched as
at this time in life. But we cannot change what well as invaded, and he realized how disorgan-
the sense feels like because it operates "under ized he felt in her presence. He remembered
our skin." Protocols are with us for life, never that he had often felt this way in his mother's
fully analyzed or understood, like our experi- presence, though he could not recall specific
ences ofunconscious realms in general. We can instances. He also realized that this psychotic
never diffuse their intensity, but we can open client had, for some reason, come to trust him
them to new experience and action. and was committed in her own peculiar way to
The deepening intimacy within a therapeutic a real relationship with him. Neither knew quite
or consultative relationship brings us in contact what to do with themselves or each other. This
with our passions about others and the world, characterized their impasse.
and that growing contact and intensity can lead When given the idea of protocol as a tool
us to become stuck. In that sense, an impasse at with which to think about his experience, in ad-
the level ofthe protocol is a defense against deep- dition to what he knew of his script, the thera-
ening affect and intimacy within the therapeutic pist began to feel his fear ofthe invasiveness of
couple. his mother's anxiety and disorganization. He
For example, a therapist in supervision de- then felt less afraid of his client and her mad-
scribed his disgust with a certain client's lack ness and began to feel, to his surprise, a kind of
of hygiene and his frustration in their work to- tenderness toward her. Though he did not share
gether. However, once he explored the situa- any of this with her, he could see that she felt
tion further, he realized he was actually trou- the difference in his way ofbeing with her. He
bled by sitting with a woman who was living gained confidence that he could accept and
her life in madness. It was the pervasive impact contain her deep disturbances. They recovered
of her deep emotional disturbance, not her their capacity to feel, think, and work together.
actual body odor, that he could not bear to So, although their coupling began with two
name or take into his physical being. This in- separate histories and two sets ofunconscious,
sight shook his conception of himself as a relational protocols, this therapist and his client
therapist who believed he could, with skilled were together developing a discomfiting history
interpretations and careful emotional reserve, and protocol mix of their own. Together, they
cure the troubled people who came his way. In would also need to find a way of being with
fact, that particular client was in a psychotic one another that allowed a gradual closeness
state and desperately needed emotional engage- and understanding-an emotional sanity and
ment and containment from her therapist, not compassion-in the face ofmadness and habit-
interpretation or detachment. ual recoiling from closeness.
This therapist, through his transactional analy- In moments of therapeutic intimacy, pro-
sis training and personal therapy, had come to fessional and client both show one another what
understand that much of his motivation and it means and how it feels to be close. Their
style as a therapist was script based. His had encounter starts with a way ofbeing, each with
been a chaotic family system, one from which the other. Words may follow, but they do not
he protected himself by increasing layers of lead. As Bollas (1999) reflects, "Each patient
emotional distance and finely tuned critical creates an environment in which both partici-
thinking. He remembered his decision as an pants are meant to live a psychoanalytic life-
adolescent to become a psychiatrist, feeling if time together. The therapist must be willing to
he could not cure the suffering and chaos with- suffer the illness of such a place" (p. 142). As
in his own family, he could at least relieve it in we conceive of the work in therapy, education,
the lives of others not so close to him. As he and consultation, the word "illness" does not
addressed his impasse with this unkempt, psy- suggest pathology as much as it does a feeling
chotic woman, he began to realize that he felt of being deeply ill at ease in a way ofbeing, as

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WILLIAM F. CORNELLAND N. MICHELLANDAICHE, ill

if we were feeling sick. Nor is suffering meant begun to complain of feeling too vulnerable
to suggest victimization or masochism. As and dependent on Anna. In some way, Anna's
Bollas uses the term, he means the act ofbeing respect and affection had begun to register in
with and informed by a client's way of living Catherine's experience, but she felt disoriented
such that we know it keenly from inside our with it and could not recognize it for what it
own bodies. was-one woman (who happened to be a thera-
With each client, we live a unique encounter pist) coming to respect and care for another
in time. Moreover, our openness to understand- woman (who happened to be a client). Cather-
ing our clients' modes of being means that we ine grew increasingly anxious in her relation-
will develop an intimacy with them that will ship with Anna and started to become silently
affect or infect us with many of our strongest suspicious ofAnna's motives. At the same time,
feelings and protocols. We, in turn, convey Catherine acknowledged that she was gaining
those experiences back to our clients, in a reci- a good deal ofinsight, had stopped leaping from
procal and often unspoken dialogue about what one relationship to another, and-with Anna's
it means to be in the world with others. The of- active insistence-s-was spending a period of
ten subtle interaction of those relational cues time alone in her life without a lover to stimu-
and countercues can be traced in the following late and distract her.
case illustration. Catherine told Anna that she felt her interest
and investment but did not understand her mo-
Getting "Under the Skin": A Case of tives. What she did not tell Anna was that she
Protocol at Work had begun to project onto Anna many romantic
Anna, a therapist in her mid-forties with con- and sexual fantasies to explain Anna's deepen-
siderable clinical experience, had been present- ing interest in her. Catherine could only under-
ing a troubling case for several months in stand experiencing their deepening intimacy in
supervision. The work with her client, Cather- the familiar terms of sexual usage. She pressed
ine, a successful advertising writer in her late Anna to explain how she really felt about her.
thirties, had apparently proceeded well for the Unable to tolerate or explore Catherine's deep-
first 3 years. Catherine had entered treatment ening anxiety and confusion, Anna finally gave
after a devastating breakup with a lover. She into the pressure and explained to Catherine
described herself as the one who broke men's that she was not treating her any differently
hearts by leaving them when the relationship than any other client, that she was invested in
peaked in its excitement. This gave her a great the quality of Catherine's life, and that she did
sense of desirability and power. She told Cath- not want to foster a dependent relationship.
erine that for years she had fucked men, not Catherine was profoundly shocked and humili-
loved them. This most recent lover, however, ated by this explanation, though she could not
she had begun to love, and his leaving left her risk telling Anna how she felt.
furious, humiliated, and bereft. Though Cather- Up to this point, the treatment relationship
ine spent many of the early sessions raging had been productive, but it had also stayed
about what a "pig" this man was, she knew she within the essential elements of both Anna's
had actually entered therapy to give up what and Catherine's scripts. Anna, due to her own
she saw as her perverse sexual behavior and therapy, had subtly begun to change her way of
learn to love someone. She wanted children relating to her clients, including Catherine. She
and a family and feared she was not capable of had started to discover that being less habitu-
such attachments. ally nurturing to her clients left her feeling
Anna felt a deep respect for Catherine's com- more open and deeply engaged with them. The
mitment to therapy and found herself growing closeness, she found, could also be quite un-
quite fond ofher client. She did not want Cath- nerving. The therapeutic relationship between
erine to get hurt again and at the same time felt Anna and Catherine, though still influenced by
silently judgmental of Catherine's risky sexual script constraints, was productive enough to be-
exploits. Catherine, on the other hand, had gin opening levels of intimacy, shifting each of

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 IMPASSE AND INTIMACY: APPLYING BERNE'S CONCEPT OF SCRIPT PROTOCOL

the women from predictable, script-level styles serving at his beck and call. Catherine never
of relating into more unpredictable realms. had a chance of breaking into this fused and
Neither was conscious ofthe shift, but each felt immature couple. Life in the house was satura-
increasingly disorganized and anxious. Neither ted with sexual energy. Her body knew little of
could tolerate and reflect on the anxiety, and tenderness or constancy but a great deal about
both shifted into escalated script behavior to anxiety, loneliness, and hostility; this was her
ward off anxiety and the uncertainty of what protocol. Her script was centered in hatred and
was emerging between them. in living up to her nickname, "the brat." She in-
In retrospect, we can speculate about the sisted that her earliest memory was of wishing
script and protocol levels of interaction for her father dead. No one could tell her what to
both Anna and Catherine. Anna was born to a do. She was smoking at 10, drinking at 12, hav-
very young mother who had not finished high ing sex and using drugs by 13. She was raped
school and who greeted the birth ofher daugh- for the first time at 15. In a later adolescent
ter with overwhelming anxiety. Anna "knew" evolution of her script, she became the rapist,
through her body, from her earliest days, that and then as an advertising writer she obtained
she was a profound source of anxiety to her great satisfaction in writing "bullshit," "getting
mother, which her mother enacted with mas- over on everybody," and making a lot ofmoney.
sively intrusive behavior. Her father, immature The deepening involvement and intimacy
and frightened of the world (and of his wife), between Anna and Catherine carried each of
withdrew from his endlessly distressed and them beyond the safety of their scripts. The
inconsolable wife and from the baby. Anna closeness threatened them both, and the result-
quickly discovered if she calmed herselfdown, ing anxieties pushed each into affective and
Mom was more at ease and available. Infant bodily experiences at the level of protocol,
Anna probably scanned the environment con- which for these two women would become bad
stantly for signs of anxiety. Anxiety was the news. Neither was able to tolerate either the in-
defining state of affect at the level of protocol, timacy or the anxiety, and no one in the treat-
and separation of one sort or another among ment system was aware of the idea of protocol
family members was the relational means of so as to help them understand what was hap-
reducing anxiety. As she grew older, Anna pening. Each reacted to the pain and anxiety of
learned to soothe her mother and entertain her the protocol level of experience by moving
father, in a severe and chronic reversal of roles back into script defenses with unconscious
-and the beginning ofher script. Anna's earlier urgency.
protocol was dominated by anxiety and distanc- In what seemed to Anna to be an abrupt
ing, while her caretaking and entertaining script change, treatment took a turn for the worse. In
provided a more satisfying (if defensive) experi- session after session, Catherine accused Anna
ence of relationship. When other siblings were of having lied to her, of having seduced her
born, Anna became the caretaker and buffer for sexually, and ofcausing her depression and sui-
all anxieties-more script. We could say that, cidality to worsen. Outside the sessions, Cath-
by age 3, a ''therapist'' was already hard at work. erine began photographing Anna and her car
Catherine, in contrast, was an only child, and home. Anna's efforts to explore what had
born out of wedlock. Her father did not want gone wrong were increasingly derailed by
the baby and threatened to leave his girlfriend Catherine's escalating behavior both during
if she did not have an abortion. Due to pres- and outside their sessions. Catherine began
sures from both families, the young couple sending long, rambling letters and cards in
married and had the baby, or "the little brat," as which she included passionate poems and
Catherine's father typically referred to her. spoke of the friendship the two would have
Catherine's mother, terrified of losing her re- once the therapy relationship was over. At the
luctant husband, often left "the brat" in the care same time, Catherine initiated several calls to
of grandparents or girlfriends and renewed a the agency where Anna worked, citing ethics
vigorous sexual relationship with her husband, violations and incompetence.

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WILLIAM F. CORNELLAND N. MICHEL LANDAICHE, III

Anna tried to absorb these shocks as she Quite understandably, the affective intensity
attempted to repair what had seemed a positive and impasse developing within these inter-
and productive relationship. Her script-level locking relationships made thinking extremely
interpretations to Catherine about her projec- difficult. What remained was primarily a suffo-
tions and her behavior-when she could hold cating mix of anxiety and contempt for all par-
on to her mind long enough to formulate them ties, including others being dragged into the
-were met with fury. Anna's efforts in her situation: friends, partners, professional col-
personal therapy to understand past relation- leagues, attorneys, and advocates at a local
ship troubles seemed to go in unhelpful, dis- women's sexual assault center. This was not the
couraging circles. She was also becoming in- kind of situation that was likely to turn out
creasingly confused, anxious, and paranoid in well. Indeed, it was eerily reminiscent for all of
a way that she felt was affecting her work with prior catastrophic situations in school, at work,
other clients, many of whom had histories of in families, and among friends. But those remi-
trauma and numerous failed treatments. niscences were operating outside of conscious
Anna's supervisor, Paul, a seasoned clinician awareness. They were present more in the form
in his late fifties, responded to her case first by offorebodings and compulsions to escape from
listening and asking questions, then by offering something that had turned so bad.
more script-level interpretations and advice in The resolution of this complicated impasse
the face of her increasing anxiety, and fmally began in an unexpected way. Catherine-who
by distancing himself from her developing de- sought help and healing from a variety ofpeople
pression. He found himself angered by Anna's -was at that time also consulting a nutritionist
presentation of herself as a victim and by her named Sarah. Sarah lived on a small farm,
apparent inability to stem what to him was a outside the city, where she grew vegetables and
clear need to interpret her client's behavior and fruit, some of which she gave to clients as a
to set professional limits. He thought she ought way of supporting better eating habits. Cather-
to refer her client for medication-which Anna ine had been telling Sarah about her unethical
had done many times before but to no avail- therapist, as she had been telling everyone.
and ifCatherine refused to be evaluated psychi- Sarah, in turn, had been lending a sympathetic
atrically, Paul strongly believed Anna should and empathetic ear, as she was inclined to do
terminate the relationship by offering Catherine with her clients. One day, Catherine was at
an appropriate referral to another psychothera- Sarah's picking up her nutritional supplements
pist. as well as a small bag of tomatoes and peppers
As the months of this supervisory process from Sarah's garden. Sarah, in response to
wore on, Paul became increasingly rigid emo- Catherine's latest report on Anna, made a casu-
tionally, physically, and intellectually. He be- al remark to the effect that perhaps Catherine
gan to suspect that some of the accusations also had a role to play in what was happening
made by Anna's client might, in fact, be true. with Anna. Without missing a beat, Catherine's
He questioned Anna's competence. He began face froze; she dropped the bag of vegetables
documenting his interventions with Anna to to the ground, and with one move placed her
protect himself in case Catherine's threatened foot squarely on the vegetables. She leaned to-
legal actions against Anna grew to involve him. ward Sarah, saying with quiet fury, "You better
Additionally, he felt guilty and angry about the stick to what you know about. I don't need you
fact that, over the years ofsupervising Anna, he poisoning me, too."
had enjoyed her attractiveness and had always Sarah's response was to step back in shock
looked forward to their sessions together. This and fear. Then, although she nearly began to
was now replaced by a feeling of being bur- cry, she chose instead to recover by breathing
dened and angry that she could not make use of deeply, alternately looking Catherine in the eye
his advice. Curiously, he also avoided discus- and turning away to collect herself. Finally,
sion of this case with the woman he saw for his after what seemed an eternity to both of them,
own monthly consultation. Sarah looked directly at Catherine and said,

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"I'm not interested in a phony, abusive rela- her as a person and as a colleague, feelings that
tionship, Catherine." Sarah was still shaking. "I he found even more disconcerting.
don't think it's good for either ofus. When you Anna and Catherine worked together for an-
are ready to apologize for ruining what I gave other year and a half, trying to sort out what
you, you are welcome to come back here again." had happened, and eventually decided together
Then she stood facing Catherine, trembling and that it would be helpful for Catherine to see
waiting for her to leave, which Catherine did in another therapist. Catherine felt sadness at this
a state of bewilderment and anger. decision but believed it was the right one. She
Catherine spent a week feeling utterly de- found it too difficult to think with Anna about
pressed and pained. She could not even func- what had happened. She left grateful for what
tion at work, which had not been a problem Anna had given her. Anna, for her part,just felt
during the conflict with Anna. Yet Catherine relief when Catherine was gone. She began to
did not join in with her friends when they sug- consider taking an administrative position at
gested that Sarah was just another treacherous her agency, believing that she could no longer
witch. Instead, she found herself with little en- emotionally handle her work as a therapist.
thusiasm for her campaign against Anna. She
became terrified of the idea that maybe the Discussion: Applying the Concept of
whole thing had been a terrible misunderstand- Protocol in Order to Move through an
ing. She made one trip out to Sarah's, with the Impasse
intention of both hurting her and apologizing, After conducting the interviews from which
yet when she got out of her car and saw Sarah we assembled this case illustration, we were
looking at her from the garden, Catherine be- struck by how the resolution ofthe impasse was
gan sobbing without knowing why. She fled. simultaneously productive and saddening. Both
She then called Anna the next day to ask for a ofus could identify with the story based on our
special appointment, which Anna later said she own clinical experience, and it resonated with
must have been crazy to accommodate given the impasses to which we each have been a
everything that had been happening. party. It also left us with the sense that it is im-
Yet a comer had been turned. Catherine's en- possible to emerge from an intimate encounter
counter with Sarah-to whom Catherine even- without being deeply affected. In particular, it
tually apologized after some months of work- seems impossible to grow within a therapeutic
ing with Anna-had precipitated a sequence of or consultative couple without feeling a sense
painful realizations for Catherine, Anna, and of both accomplishment and loss.
Paul. When Paul first heard what had happened In hindsight, the crisis or disruptive impasse
with Sarah and Catherine, for example, he also that occurred for these throe individuals likely
felt close to tears, then went blank and found arose from the disruption of a more confluent,
himself thinking of an experience he had had script-level impasse that had been operating for
recently with a young male client who had been some time between the client and therapist and
acting out and missing sessions. For the first between the therapist and supervisor. As a
time, Paul began talking about his impasse with therapist, Anna had behaved with Catherine in
Anna, both with his consultant and a close ways that she typically did with others in her
friend. Anna, too, shifted how she presented her life, repeating a script-based, relational role of
experience with Catherine and began to recog- being supportive, nonconfronting, and overly
nize how Paul's responses had not been help- responsible. This had suited Catherinejust fine,
ful. She ventured some timid suggestions to Anna's therapeutic style was a welcome respite
that effect, which Paul was able to explore with from the hopeless neglect that Catherine ex-
her without either blaming himself or distanc- perienced in the midst ofher parents' intensely
ing, although he continued to feel uncomfor- fused and rejecting relationship, and so the first
table with the new intimacy in their relation- 3 years of treatment seemed to have gone quite
ship. His prior feelings ofattraction and disdain well. In fact, there was little room for individu-
for her were being replaced by a new sense of ality, surprise, or robust intimacy. Yet Anna

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WILLIAM F. CORNELLANDN. MICHELLANDAICHE, III

had, over those years, continued her own work spoke of the relationship in terms that she be-
in personal therapy, supervision, and training lieved might function more effectively in the
and had begun to mature to the point that she future.
was less inclined to follow some of her old Work in a therapeutic or consultative rela-
script patterns. She had begun to change gradu- tionship can begin to move again once the
ally, and many of her clients had adjusted therapeutic or consultative couple's history and
productively to the change in her style of en- feeling tones have been contained. As Me-
gagement. Catherine, however, experienced Laughlin (1994) writes in regard to impasses in
Anna's change as a threat and a betrayal and so the analytic setting,
had retaliated in kind, feeling as if her most I do not wish to assert that growth of
fundamental trust had been violated. personal insight in the analyst invariably
In this case, the resolution ofthe impasse did disposes ofall stalemates, nor that his bet-
not occur because the therapist and supervisor tered involvement can heal all woundings.
came to their senses, were able to think again, But I feel confident that seeking to restore
and helped the client think. Rather, the turning one's optimal competence is the best, and
point occurred outside the therapeutic context sometimes the only, recourse in times of
and was then brought by the client back into analytic impasse. Without this personal in-
the therapeutic setting, whereupon it was re- vestment in self-scrutiny by the analyst, he
layed into the supervisory situation. is very likely to keep inflicting hurts and
That sequence usefully illustrates two princi- abandonment. These can become chronic
ples. The first is that an intimate, protocol-level strain traumata which will erode beyond
impasse cannot be resolved until someone in restoration the aliveness and hope essential
the relationship is willing to sit with the ex- for both members ofthe dyad ifthey are to
treme discomfort ofthe activated affect, feel it, sustain their investment in reaching for
and gradually find words to think about and analytic engagement.
communicate it to the other. This brings to Thus, the professional may be the one to recog-
mind Bion's (1963/1977) concept of contain- nize the need for self-analysis.
ing, whereby the therapist or consultant wil- The second principle that this case illustrates
lingly receives the client's affect-drenched ex- is that the resolution of an impasse can begin
perience and demonstrates that it is possible to with the initiative of either partner in the thera-
experience the impact of it and find meaning in peutic or consultative couple. Things can begin
it rather than immediately defend against it by moving when at least one partner can begin to
acting out ofscript. We see an example ofcon- reflect on the affect that both are living within.
tainment in the response ofSarah, the nutrition- In this particular case, the client initiated the
ist, to Catherine. Once Sarah had demonstrated process of thinking within the therapeutic rela-
that she could withstand the strength of her tionship, which in tum was carried into the
own intense reactions to her client without act- supervisory relationship in an instance ofwhat
ing in a rejecting or retaliatory way, her way of might be called productive parallel process.
being began to have an effect on Catherine's What most characterizes the clinical situation
experience. It destabilized a fundamental and involving Anna, Catherine, and Paul as a
unconscious worldview-that is, protocol- protocol-based impasse is the intensity with
that Catherine had been living out in every which certain emotional patterns were activated
other area of her life. Sarah's protocol in this in what had been long-term working relation-
case was not hooked-shocked, yes, but per- ships. The intimacy within them had come to
mitting ofenough perspective to recognize that be taken for granted, as habitual and familiar as
her relationship with Catherine might yet be the ways each person negotiated that intimacy.
salvaged and that her anger and limit setting However, when the impasse occurred, the capa-
were appropriate. She did not blame Catherine city to think while remaining engaged had
or tum her into an overwhelmingly fearful simply collapsed and was most likely on the
monster. Sarah set a personal boundary and road to fulfilling the highly negative fantasies

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each person had about his or her significant maturity was destructive ofher significant rela-
relationships. tionships. Following protocol, she had become
It is important to note, however, that Cather- defensive and withdrawn. Her small step to-
ine's initial response to Sarah was not apprecia- ward growth had precipitated such a cataclysm
tive or even insightful. She instead felt her in- that it did not seem worth the cost to proceed.
terior world and certainties being shaken. She Paul also had settled into a comfortable and
experienced a collapse. She entertained intense repetitive role with Anna. He had, in fact, built
fantasies of revenge, nearly leading to action. his supervision practice to relieve himself of
Yet instead of reacting out of force of habit by the strain he felt seeing clients. The therapists
attacking Sarah further, which would have been he worked with, although struggling and un-
a continuing enactment of script, Catherine aware of their own entrenched protocols, were
chose to take Sarah's goodwill toward her on typically adapted enough not to disturb him too
faith, a goodwill grounded both in their history much. Anna, for example, found his attention
as nutritionist and client and in Sarah's demon- and attraction to her appealing, although she
stration of courage in the moment. Catherine was not consciously aware of it. Paul had
could feel the possibility of a new way of rela- learned to operate with emotional distance in
ting. all areas ofhis life. He had figured out how not
Anna, for her part, could have also chosen to to bring into his own supervision any of the
take Catherine's rapprochement as an oppor- issues that might give his supervisor something
tunity simply to cover over the ugliness of the with which to stir him affectively. So, when
preceding months. She could have pacified Anna began to use her supervision with Paul in
Catherine and appeared to be engaged in a pro- a way that was intense, he had become re-
cess ofreconciliation. But she decided, instead, moved and passively hostile toward her. Yet he
to look at herself and her other relationships. had been moved by Catherine's encounter with
We do not know whether her idea of changing Sarah, when Anna eventually relayed it, be-
careers was the result of reflection, her typical cause it corresponded to his own pained hope
habit of retreat, or being burned out. But there for more vitality. He deeply, and unconsciously,
is reason to believe that whatever decision she regretted the loss of connection in his life and
finally came to would be made with consider- work.
ably more thoughtfulness than if she had not
chosen to reflect in depth on what had hap- Conclusion
pened in her work with Catherine. The case just described illustrates, above all,
Paul also took the opportunity to look at that resolving a protocol-based impasse is
some ofhis usual ways ofrelating, especially to never neat. The emotional threads that underlie
the women in his life. He showed a bit more our most primary relational templates are a part
emotional availability in both his work and his ofour history that cannot be undone, even ifwe
personal life, to which he reacted at times with learn to live differently with them. Yet these
renewed distancing, as if the increase in vulner- are the very interactions we are drawn to again
ability also opened him to more intense feel- and again, because as McLaughlin (2005)
ings of pain and pleasure about which he was notes, "We seek to test and find ourselves in
ambivalent and tentatively hopeful. the intimacy of the therapeutic relationship, to
When Anna and Catherine eventually had a become known to and accepted by the other, in
chance to talk about what had precipitated the whose sum we may more fully assess ourselves"
crisis, it seemed that it had been a simple re- (p. 158).
mark made by Anna, similar to the observation Therein lies the paradox. The closeness that
that Sarah eventually made to Catherine. When comes of human relating gets under our skin in
Catherine's response to Anna turned explosive a way that can be felt as a fantasy of perfect
and assaulting, Anna did not have the resources merger and love or as a nightmare of constric-
at the time to stand her ground. She felt-more ting sameness and hatred. At the same time, it
than she was conscious-that her move toward is in this intimacy with others that we finally

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WILLIAM F. CORNELL AND N. MICHEL LANDAICHE, ill

know what we are capable ofwith regard to liv- Ekstein, R., & Wallerstein,R. S. (1958). The teaching and
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