Writing in the Sciences

Unit 2: Verbs
Writing in the Sciences

Module 2.1: Use the active voice

What is the active voice?

She throws the ball.

Martha will drive the car.

The President made mistakes.

What is the passive voice?

The ball is thrown by her.

The car will be driven by Martha.

Mistakes were made by The President.

Recognizing a passive verb
 Passive verb = a form of the verb “to
be” + the past participle of the main
verb
 The main verb must be a transitive verb
(that is, take an object).
“to be” verbs
 Is
•could be
 Are •shall be
 Was •should be
•will be
 Were •would be
•may be
 Be •might be
 Been •must be
•has been
 Am
 Example: passive voice
Recipient of the
action

My first visit to Boston will always be

remembered by me.

Agent of
Verb
the
action
Active:
I will always remember my first visit to Boston.
From: Strunk and White, The Elements of Style
 Example: passive voice
She is loved.
 Which evokes the question, “Who’s loving her?”

Past participle of a transitive

verb: to love (direct object).
The recipient of
the love.
Form of “to be”
 Example: passive voice

"Cigarette ads were designed to appeal especially

to children."
vs.
"We designed the cigarette ads to appeal
especially to children.”

Responsible party!
 Passive vs. active voice

To turn the passive voice back to the active

voice:

Ask: “Who does what to whom?”

 Use active voice
Passive:
By applying a high resolution, 90 degree bending
magnet downstream of the laser electron interaction
region, the spectrum of the electron beams could be
observed.

Active:
We could observe the spectrum of the electron beams
by applying a high resolution, 90 degree bending
magnet downstream of the laser electron interaction
region.
 Use active voice
Passive:
Increased promoter occupancy and transcriptional
activation of p21 and other target genes were
observed.

Active:
We observed increased promoter occupancy and
transcriptional activation of p21 and other target
genes.
 Use active voice
Passive:
The activation of Ca++ channels is
induced by the depletion of endoplasmic
reticulum Ca++ stores.

Active:
Depleting Ca++ from the endoplasmic
reticulum activates Ca++ channels.
 Use active voice; be direct!
Additionally, it was found that pre-
treatment with antibiotics increased the
number of super-shedders, while
immunosuppression did not.

Pre-treating the mice with antibiotics
increased the number of super-shedders
while immunosuppresion did not.
Advantages of the active voice
 1. Emphasizes author responsibility
 2. Improves readability
 3. Reduces ambiguity
 1. Emphasizes author
responsibility
 No attempt was made to contact non-
responders because they were deemed
unimportant to the analysis. (passive)
Vs.
 We did not attempt to contact non-
responders because we deemed them
unimportant to the analysis. (active)
 2. Increases readability

 A strong correlation was found between use

of the passive voice and other sins of
writing. (passive)
 We found a strong correlation between use
of the passive voice and other sins of
writing. (active)
 Use of the passive voice strongly correlated
with other sins of writing. (active)
 3. Reduces ambiguity

General dysfunction of the immune system at the

leukocyte level is suggested by both animal and
human studies. (passive)
Vs.
Both human and animal studies suggest that
diabetics have general immune dysfunction at the
leukocyte level. (active)
Is it ever OK to use the
passive voice?
 Yes! The passive voice exists in the
English language for a reason. Just use
it sparingly and purposefully.
 For example, passive voice may be
appropriate in the methods section where
what was done is more important than
who did it.
Writing in the Sciences

Module 2.2. Is it really OK to use “We” and “I”?

 Yes, it’s OK!
 1. The active voice is livelier and easier to read.
 2. Avoiding personal pronouns does not make your
science more objective.
 3. By agreeing to be an author on the paper, you
are taking responsibility for its content. Thus, you
should also claim responsibility for the assertions in
the text by using “we” or “I.”
 Avoiding personal pronouns
does not lend objectivity:
 You/your team designed, conducted, and interpreted the
experiments. To imply otherwise is misleading.
 The experiments and analysis did not materialize out of
thin air!
 The goal is to be more objective, not to appear more
objective.

“After all, human agents are responsible for designing

experiments, and they are present in the laboratory;
writing awkward phrases to avoid admitting their
responsibility and their presence is an odd way of
being objective.”—
Jane J. Robinson, Science 7 June 1957: 1160.
Journals want this!
 The style guidelines for many journals
explicitly instruct authors to write in the
active voice. For example, Science magazine
advises:
 “Use active voice when suitable, particularly
when necessary for correct syntax (e.g., "To
address this possibility, we constructed a
λZap library ...).”
 (http://www.sciencemag.org/site/feature/con
tribinfo/prep/res/style.xhtml)
Great authors use “we” and
“I”!
Watson and Crick’s celebrated 1953
paper in Nature begins:
“We wish to suggest a structure for the
salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid
(D.N.A.).”
 http://www.exploratorium.edu/origins/c

oldspring/printit.html
Writing in the Sciences

Module 2.3. Active voice practice

Practice: use the active voice
In a moment, I will ask you to pause the
video and revise the following sentence:

A recommendation was made by the

DSMB committee that the study be halted.
In the active voice…
The DSMB committee recommended that
the study be halted.
 Practice: use the active voice
In a moment, I will ask you to pause the
video and revise the following sentence:

Major differences in the reaction times of

the two study subjects were found.
In the active voice…
We observed major differences in the
reaction times of the two study subjects.
OR
The two study subjects differed in reaction
times.
Practice: use the active voice
In a moment, I will ask you to pause the
video and revise the following sentence:

It was concluded by the editors that the

data had been falsified by the authors.
In the active voice…
The editors concluded that the authors
falsified their data.
Practice: use the active voice
In a moment, I will ask you to pause the
video and revise the following sentence:

The first visible-light snapshot of a planet

circling another star has been taken by
NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope.
In the active voice…
NASA's Hubble Space Telescope has taken
the first visible-light snapshot of a planet
circling another star.
Practice: use the active voice
In a moment, I will ask you to pause the
video and revise the following sentence:

Therefore, the hypothesis that the overall

kinetics of a double transtibial amputee
athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the
same level of performance are not different
was rejected.
In the active voice…
Therefore, we rejected the hypothesis that
the overall kinetics of a double transtibial
amputee athlete and an able-bodied
sprinter at the same level of performance
are comparable.
Writing in the Sciences

Module 2.4: Write with verbs

Write with verbs
• use strong verbs
• avoid turning verbs into nouns
• don’t bury the main verb
 Use strong verbs
Verbs make sentences go!

Compare:
“Loud music came from speakers embedded in
the walls, and the entire arena moved as the
hungry crowd got to its feet.”
With:
“Loud music exploded from speakers
embedded in the walls, and the entire arena
shook as the hungry crowd leaped to its
feet.”
Latter sentence from the novel: Bringing Down the House, Ben Mezrich
 Use strong verbs
Verbs make sentences go!

Compare:
“Loud music came from speakers embedded in
the walls, and the entire arena moved as the
hungry crowd got to its feet.”
With:
“Loud music exploded from speakers
embedded in the walls, and the entire arena
shook as the hungry crowd leaped to its
feet.”
Latter sentence from the novel: Bringing Down the House, Ben Mezrich
 Use strong verbs
Pick the right verb!
The WHO reports that approximately two-thirds of the world’s
diabetics are found in developing countries, and estimates that
the number of diabetics in these countries will double in the
next 25 year.

The WHO estimates that two-thirds of the world’s diabetics
are found in developing countries, and projects that the
number of diabetics in these countries will double in the next
25 years.
Use strong verbs
Use “to be” verbs purposefully and
sparingly.

Is are was were be been am…

Don’t turn verbs into nouns
Don’t kill verbs by turning them into
nouns.
Don’t turn verbs into nouns
Example:
During DNA damage, recognition of H3K4me3
by ING2 results in recruitment of Sin3/HDAC
and repression of cell proliferation genes.
 Don’t turn verbs into nouns
Example:
During DNA damage, recognition of H3K4me3 by
ING2 results in recruitment of Sin3/HDAC and
repression of cell proliferation genes.

During DNA damage, H3K4me3 recruits ING2 and
Sin3/HDAC, which together repress cell proliferation
genes.
Say exactly who does what to whom!
 Don’t turn verbs into nouns
Weak verbs

Obtain estimates of estimate

Has seen an expansion in has expanded

Provides a methodologic emphasis emphasizes methodology

Take an assessment of Formerly assess

spunky verbs
transformed
into boring
nouns
 Don’t turn verbs into nouns
Provide a review of review

Offer confirmation of confirm

Make a decision decide

Shows a peak peaks

Provide a description of describe

Don’t bury the main verb
Keep the subject and main verb
(predicate) close together at the start of
the sentence…

 Readers are waiting for the verb!

 Don’t bury the main verb
The case of the buried predicate…
subject
One study of 930 adults with multiple
sclerosis (MS) receiving care in one of two
managed care settings or in a fee-for-service
setting found that only two-thirds of those
needing to contact a neurologist for an MS-
related problem in the prior 6 months had
done so (Vickrey et al 1999).
predicate
 Don’t bury the main verb
The case of the buried predicate…

One study found that, of 930 adults with

multiple sclerosis (MS) who were receiving
care in one of two managed care settings or
in a fee-for-service setting, only two-thirds of
those needing to contact a neurologist for an
MS-related problem in the prior six months
had done so (Vickrey et al 1999).
Writing in the Sciences

Module 2.5: Practice examples

 Practice Exercises Really long
subject!

“The fear expressed by some teachers that

students would not learn statistics well if they
were permitted to use canned computer
programs has not been realized in our negatives
experience. A careful monitoring of achievement
levels before and after the introduction of
computers in the teaching of our course revealed
no appreciable change in students’
performances.”

wordy
Passive
verb
 Practice Exercises
“The fear expressed by some teachers that
students would not learn statistics well if they
were permitted to use canned computer
programs has not been realized in our
experience. A careful monitoring of achievement
levels before and after the introduction of
computers in the teaching of our course revealed
no appreciable change in students’
performances.”
Buried predicate
Really long
+ boring verbsubject!
“hedge” word
 Practice Exercises

Many teachers feared that the use of canned
computer programs would prevent students
from learning statistics. We monitored student
achievement levels before and after the
introduction of computers in our course and
found no detriments in performance.
 Practice Exercises When’s the
verb
coming?

“Review of each center’s progress in

recruitment is important to ensure that the
cost involved in maintaining each center’s
participation is worthwhile.”
Watch vague descriptors “to be” is a
such as “important” and weak verb
Clunky phrase
“worthwhile”
 Practice Exercises

We should review each center’s recruitment

progress to make sure its continued
participation is cost-effective.
Practice Exercises
“It should be emphasized that these
proportions generally are not the result
of significant increases in moderate and
severe injuries, but in many instances
reflect mildly injured persons not being
seen at a hospital.”
 Practice Exercises Dead
weight!!
 It should be emphasized that these
proportions generally are not the result of
significant increases in moderate and
severe injuries, but in many instances
reflect mildly injured persons not being
seen at a hospital.
More dead weight.
Can we use a more informative
adjective than a pronoun? What’s
Ask yourself, what does
important about “these” proportions? the sentence lose without
this qualifier?
 Practice Exercises
 It should be emphasized that these
proportions generally are not the result of
significant increases in moderate and
severe injuries, but in many instances
reflect mildly injured persons not being
seen at a hospital.
“The result of”due
Use to
positives.
“In many instances”often
Watch out for awkward
uses of “to be”
Practice Exercises
 Shifting proportions in injury severity
may reflect stricter hospital admission
criteria rather than true increases in
moderate and severe injuries.
Practice Exercises
Important studies to examine the descriptive
epidemiology of autism, including the
prevalence and changes in the characteristics
of the population over time, have begun.

Identify the problems…

--where’s the verb?
--watch fluff words like “important”
--can changes occur without being “over time”?
-- “of the population” is vague
 Practice Exercises
Important studies to examine the descriptive
epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence
and changes in the characteristics of the
population over time, have begun.

Studies have begun to describe the epidemiology
of autism, including recent changes in the
disorder’s prevalence and characteristics.
 Practice Exercises
There are multiple other mechanisms that are
important, but most of them are suspected to
only have a small impact or are only important
because of impact on one of the three primary
mechanisms.

Multiple other mechanisms play only a small
role or work by impacting one of the three
primary mechanisms.
 Practice Exercises
After rejecting paths with poor signal-to-
noise ratios, we were left with 678 velocity
measurements of waves with 7.5 seconds
period and 891 measurements of 15 second
waves.

Rejecting paths with poor signal-to-noise
ratios left 678 velocity measurements of 7.5-
second waves and 891 of 15-second waves.
 Practice Exercises
It is suspected that the importance of temperature
has more to do with impacting rates of other
reactions than being a mechanism of disinfection
itself since ponds are rarely hot enough for
temperature alone to cause disinfection.

Ponds are rarely hot enough for temperature alone
to cause disinfection; thus, the effect of
temperature is likely mediated through its impact
on the rates of other reactions.
 Practice Exercises
It was assumed that due to reduced work at the
joints of the lower limbs and less energy loss in the
prosthetic leg, running with the dedicated
prostheses allows for maximum sprinting at lower
metabolic costs than in the healthy ankle joint
complex.

The prosthetic leg reduces work and energy loss
compared with a healthy ankle joint, which may lead
to lower metabolic costs during maximum sprinting.
Writing in the Sciences

Module 2.6: A few grammar tips

1. “Data are” not “Data is”…

The word “data” is plural.

 ex: These data show an unusual trend.

The data support the conclusion.
The data are critical.
(v. datum, singular form)
 2. Affect vs. effect

 Affect is the verb “to influence”

 The class affected her.
 As a noun, affect denotes feeling or emotion shown
by facial expression or body language, as in “The
soldiers seen on television had been carefully chosen
for blandness of affect” (Norman Mailer).
 Effect is the noun form of this influence
 The class had an effect on her.
 As a verb, effect means to bring about or to cause,
as in “to effect a change”
 Affect vs. Effect

Headline: Terrorist Plots Effect the

Beauty Industry

Correct:
Terrorist Plots Affect the Beauty
Industry
3. Compared to vs. compared
with

 Compare to = to point out similarities

between different things
 Compare with** (used more often in science)
= to point out differences between similar
things

ex: “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

ex: Brain tumors are relatively rare compared with more
common cancers, such as those of the lung, breast,
and prostate.
4. That vs. which

“That” is the restrictive (defining) pronoun

“Which” is the nonrestrictive (non-defining)
pronoun

What’s the difference between these two?

The vial that contained her RNA was lost.
The vial, which contained her RNA, was lost.
That/which
that
Example: Other disorders which have
been found to co-occur with diabetes
include heart disease and foot
problems.
That/which

 Key question: Is your clause essential or non-

essential?

 THAT: The essential clause cannot be eliminated

without changing the meaning of the sentence.

 WHICH: The non-essential clause can be

eliminated without altering the basic meaning of
the sentence (and must be set off by commas).
That/which

 The bike that is broken is in the garage.

(Identifies which bike of many.)

 The bike, which is broken, is in the garage.

(Adds a fact about the only bike in question).
That/which

 “Careful writers, watchful for small

conveniences, go which-hunting,
remove the defining whiches, and by
doing so improve their work.” –Strunk
and White
That/which
From physicist Richard Feynman:

 “When we say we are a pile of atoms,

we do not mean we are merely athat pile of
atoms because a pile of atoms which is
not repeated from one to the other that
might well have the possibilities which
you see before you in the mirror.”
That/which

Another example:

 Stroke incidence data are obtained from

sources, which use the ICD
(International Code of Diseases)
classification systems.
That/which
 Stroke incidence data are obtained from
sources…?

 Is the clause essential? Is it defining the

subject?
 Yes!
 use “that”
That/which

 Stroke incidence
that data are obtained from
sources, which use the ICD
(International Code of Diseases)
classification systems.
5. Singular antecedents…

Do not use “they” or “their” when the subject

is singular. To avoid gender choice, turn to a
plural!

Each student worries about their grade.

Each student worries about her grade.
Better: All students worry about their grades.