STUPID FANTASY LAWS, VOL.

1:

Credits:
Written And Edited By David Woodrum
Published By Top Fashion G ames
ww w.topfashiongames.com

CONTACT:
Ga m e L ab el:
Top Fashion Gam es
594 Stoney Battery Road
Marion, VA 24354

Auth or:
David (Dave) Woodrum
davewoodrum @com cast.net
Original Graphics:
David (Dave) Woodrum

Abo ut Th e Au thor:
Dave W oodrum h as worked in the role playing gam e industry for over seven years. Most of
his success, how ever, has been ov er the last two years w riting on various related p roducts.
Dave lives in th e Eastern part of the Un ited States.

Copyright Information:
The conten ts of this product are copyright 20 04, Top Fa shion G am es.

UNIVERSALLY COMPATIBLE:
This produ ct contains inform ation that is design ed to be un iversally comp atible with m ost
forms of paper an d dice, fantasy role playing gam es. Information regardin g coinag e, etc.
has been explained within the text of the product to allow ease of conversion.

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EXPLORING THE MOST WONDROUSLY STUPID AND QUITE
CERTAINLY PERHAPS THE MOST OPPRESSIVE LAWS OF THE
LAND:
While murder, rape, exploitation, theft, and abuse are certainly novel selections for crimes
appropriately punished these infractions against society are rather… well, terribly bland and a bit
too straight to the point. So straight to the point, in fact, that any true, red blooded village
wracked with superstitious idealizations should have little to fear from the threat of such obvious
crimes. Real villages and communities need crimes rooted from pathetic inner fears. Real
villages need stupid, oppressive laws.
Based on both the superstitions of the past and the inactive laws still written on the books
throughout the real world comes Stupid Fantasy Laws, Volume 1. In this role playing product
you will find a dozen different laws that are based on the erratic judgment of rulers, the irrational
fears of villagers, oppressive social customs, and the unusual outcomes of very seldom occurring
situations. From the black cat possession law to the fines of shaving or trimming one’s hair
during a full moon there are a dozen laws in this volume of Stupid Fantasy Laws designed to
cause local villagers and adventuring characters alike a considerable amount of trouble, grief, and
hardship. So much trouble, grief, and hardship, in fact, that it is liable to keep the adventurers
from wandering into a nearby village or town for weeks to come.

THE SYSTEM:
The laws are presented in a manner that makes them truly universal with most role playing
products of a fantasy nature. For the most part actual game statistics are avoided. For fines where
a currency value is set, consult the below notes regarding the relative values of listed currency
amounts.

1copper= a small amount of money, equal in value to the purchase of a simple torch, a very small
loaf of bread, or the petty offering to a beggar.

1silver= a staple monetary sum, equal to a poor, unskilled laborer’s work for one day or a plain,
simple meal at a small inn. One silver coin is worth around ten copper coins.

1gold= a sum of money mostly used by skilled craftsmen, merchants, and aristocrats. One gold
coin is worth around ten silver coins.

In addition to monetary fines, various forms of punishment are also listed. This might range from
a day in the stocks to execution or exile. Also provided in the notes is a section called Probable
Cause. This area reflects upon a possible reason as to why the law might have been established. If
desired the game master should feel free to develop their own reasoning for the establishment of
such a law.

THE LAWS:

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Below are the dozen laws presented in Stupid Fantasy Laws, Volume 1.

Black Cat Possession: the fact that many wizards and witches
It is deemed illegal for any individual, choose such a creature for their personal
citizen or otherwise, to be in knowing or familiar, the black cat symbolizes an image
unknowing possession of a black cat or of wickedness, deception, and treachery for
kitten. Possession of such a creature is a many a simple villager.
violation no matter whether or not the cat is
alive or dead, tame or wild. Likewise, it is Black Cloak Law:
illegal for any individual to bury a black cat It is unlawful for any individual other than
or have a black cat buried on property an authorized member of the governing
established within the boundaries of the authority to be found wearing or in the
ruling government. immediate possession of a black cloak or
Punishment: Possession or determined cape.
burial of a deceased black cat is punishable Punishment: Upon discovery of such an
by no less than twenty lashings and a fine item the black cloak or cape shall be
equal to that of three day’s wages. Such a removed from the guilty party’s possession
fine is not to exceed an amount greater than and burnt in the center of the village square
30 gold coins and must be a bare minimum under the guidance of a local official. The
of 1 silver coin. Should the guilty party be in guilty party shall then be fined an amount
possession of a live black cat then the guilty equal to five day’s worth of wages. The total
party shall be punished with no less than amount of this fine shall not be less than 2
thirty lashings and a fine equal to that of five silver coins or greater than 50 gold coins.
day’s wages. The party guilty of possessing Individuals who are deemed impoverished
a live black cat shall also be required to and thus unable to provide the amount of
spend up to two weeks of imprisonment for such a fine within reasonable fine shall be
such possession. sentenced to either three days in the stocks
In the event that the guilty party has raven or or two days worth of hard labor.
very dark brown hair then it is also required Probable Cause: Black cloaks and capes
that the guilty party’s head be shaven and have often been popularly symbolized with
their hair burnt in the center of the village the dark arts of magic.
square under the direction of an authorized
cleric or other such member of clergy. This Breath Of Wild Onions:
addition of punishment applies to possession It is considered to be unlawful for an
of either a live or dead black cat, and also individual’s breath to reek of wild onions
applies to a guilty party with raven or dark when such an individual happens to be
colored hair and who has buried a black cat within a public accessible location.
or has a buried black cat on their personal Punishment: Individuals found guilty with
property. their breaths reeking of wild onions shall be
Probable Cause: Black cats have fined an amount equal to 3 copper coins.
maintained a popular place of unluckiness Should an individual not be able to pay such
amongst the superstitious. Combined with

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a fine then the individual will be ordered to Dancing During A New Moon:
spend a day in the stocks. It is considered to be unlawful for an
Probable Cause: This “hygiene” law was individual to be caught dancing during the
most likely passed under the interests of the time of a new moon.
wealthier folk of the community. While Punishment: Individuals found guilty of
having a breath reeking of wild onions dancing during this time will be sentenced to
would seem to be an offense suffered only a punishment consisting of no less than ten
by those forced to gather their simple meals lashings and two days of time in the stocks.
in the wild many an adventurer has been Probable Cause: It is quite probable that
charged with this offense as well. The reason the law forbidding one to dance during a
for such charges usually roots from the fact new moon is related to the superstitious
that many cheaper taverns and inns have beliefs that dancing during a full moon
been known to flavor up their meals and encourages infertility within the community,
broths with chopped wild onions. as well as the encouragement of prostitution.
Many villagers also believe that witches and
Coughing In The Moonlight: warlocks dance during this time in an effort
It is considered to be unlawful for an to encourage the return of the full moon,
individual to be found coughing under the which most superstitious feel gives evil
open, outdoor moonlight within the grounds entities and creatures their power.
of the community.
Punishment: Individuals found guilty of Drinking From An Uncovered Vessel:
this offense shall be charged a set fine equal It is considered to be unlawful for an
to 2 copper coins per offense. Should an individual to drink any potable substance out
individual be found guilty of coughing under of an uncovered vessel while physically
the moonlight for more than three different within an area that is immediately and/or
offenses then the individual shall be given freely accessible to the general public.
no less than five floggings with a whip. Punishment: Individuals found guilty of
Probable Cause: It is believed by many drinking from an uncovered vessel in such a
superstitious individuals that the moon, location shall be fined a set fee of 1 silver
particularly a full moon, empowers the arts coin. Should an individual be charged with
of evil. Likewise, such superstitions also this offense more than three times then the
imply that many diseases are the cause of individual shall also be confined to the
evil beings. If one is found coughing under stocks for a period of one day per offense.
the direct light of the moon then it is Probable Cause: With the rampant spread
believed that one is attempting to aid the of terrible diseases it was required for
spread of disease and evil corruption by anyone visiting a tavern or otherwise
passing out the diseases sent down through drinking in an open, public place to drink
the moon’s glow. Coughing at night indoors their beverages from a vessel with a lid, such
or underneath the shade of a leaf bearing as stein.
tree, however, is not considered to be an
offense as the tree’s leaves or the roof of the Drinking Alcohol Before Lunch:
building block out the moon’s evil glow. It is considered to be unlawful for an
individual to be caught drinking any form of

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alcoholic beverage at an hour before deemed Horse Trading After Dusk:
reasonable for the consumption of a It is considered to be unlawful for an
lunchtime dinner. individual to purchase or sell a horse or
Punishment: Individuals found guilty of similar beast of burden after dusk and before
drinking alcohol before lunch shall be fined dawn.
a set rate of 2 copper coins and ordered to Punishment: Should the guilty party be the
spend one day in the stocks. Should the purchaser then the guilty party will be fined
individual be found guilty of this offense an amount equal to the agreed price of the
more than three times then the individual’s horse or other beast of burden and will be
stock time shall be removed and replaced ordered to spend two days in the stocks.
with an order require the individual to stroll Should the guilty party be the seller of the
up and down the streets of the community horse or other beast of burden then the guilty
during day light hours for a time period of party will be fined an amount equal to twice
no less than three days. While walking up the agreed price of the horse and will be
and down the streets during this ordered ordered to spend five days in the stocks. In
time the guilty individual must wear a sign the case of either, the horse or beast of
that says in big, bold letters “I Am A burden that was being sold in such unlawful
Drunk”. hours will be turned over to the possession
Probable Cause: With alcoholism of the ruling government or slaughtered on
becoming a problem in many crowded the spot. In the case of slaughter the head of
communities it is quite likely that law was the horse or beast of burden will be removed
passed into order through the influence of from the carcass of the creature and hung by
the community’s “better folk”. The a post in the center of the village square.
consumption of wine, ale, and other such Probable Cause: The horse trading after
beverages was still considered acceptable, dusk regulation most likely arose from the
but only after an appropriate time of day. fact that trading a horse or similar creature in
dim light gave the purchaser a disadvantage
Drawing Water After Dusk: over getting a fair deal. Not having sufficient
It is considered to be unlawful for an light to examine the animal by, it was rather
individual to be caught drawing water from easy for traders to lure purchasers into
a well in the community after dusk and buying old and sickly animals on the bait of
before the dawn of morning. a “good deal”. Such trading after hours also
Punishment: Individuals caught drawing provided a more discreet means of
water from a well, public or private, after the unloading stolen animals for a reasonable
time of dusk and before morning shall be amount of sale.
fined an amount of 2 silver coins and
imprisoned for three full days. Red Scarf Possession:
Probable Cause: This law must most likely It is unlawful for any individual to be caught
passed as an effort to keep an eye on those wearing or in the possession of a red colored
who might just be out and about trying to scarf.
poison the wells of the community after Punishment: Individuals found guilty of
dark. wearing or in the possession of a red scarf
shall be ordered a set fine of 4 copper coins

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and flogged for no less than ten lashings that the individual might indeed be a
with a whip. The scarf shall be taken by an werewolf.
authorized local authority to the edge of the
community and burnt between the time of Walking Backwards In Public:
the last meal of the day and the approach of No individual shall be allowed to walk
midnight. The authorized authority shall be backwards in the open public places or
escorted by two members of the local guard shops without the penalty of prosecution.
for this procedure. Punishment: Should a guilty party be found
Probable Cause: It is believed by many walking backwards in public then the
superstitious individuals that wearing a red individual shall be charged a set fine of 1
scarf promotes temptations of murder within silver coin and ordered to remain in the
the village. It is also felt that seeing someone stocks for one full day.
with a red scarf on can lead to eventual Probable Cause: The act of walking
madness. While no actual recorded backwards in public most likely became a
documentation exists many feel that this criminal offense due to the revival of an
belief came into establishment after a young ancient custom that expressed one’s disgust
prostitute wearing a red scarf had her throat of a store or community. Individuals who
slashed in a dark alley way under the light of were less than pleased with such a locale
a full moon. would leave an area walking backwards, as
to show that they did not trust having their
Shaving Or Trimming During A Full backs turned on such an area. Walking
Moon: backwards has thus been found to be rather
It is considered to be unlawful for an offensively amongst the common folk, and
individual to either shave their beard and such a law prevents anyone, jesters and
moustache or provide or accept any form of comics included, from walking backwards in
trimming or shaving during the time of a full the eyes of the public.
moon.
Punishment: Should a guilty party be found
shaving and/or trimming or receiving a
shave or trim during the time of a full moon
then the individual shall be fined an amount
equal to two days wages and ordered up to
five days of imprisonment. The fine
regarding the wages shall be of a total
amount no less than 1 silver coin and no
greater than 20 gold coins.
Probable Cause: The shaving or trimming
during a full moon law was most likely
formed on the basis of superstition in
regards to werewolves. Many individuals
felt that the guilty werewolf would shave
their human form clean during the time of a
full moon as to throw off suspicious signs

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