CHAPTER 5.

PRACTICE WITH WRITING EMAILS

Exercise 1. Circle the letter of the opener that illustrates a direct opening. Write an
appropriate subject line for each opening paragraph.
1. An e-mail requesting information about creating a Facebook presence:
a. We want to start our business fan page on Facebook, but we are not sure how to ensure visibility
and participation, and we worry about the privacy risks and data safety. We have many questions and
would like information about Facebook and social media in general.
b. Please answer the following questions about creating a business fan page on Facebook and
protecting our network from intrusions and malicious attacks.
Subject line: Facebook fan page questionnaires
2. An e-mail announcing a new day-care program:
a. Employees interested in enrolling their children in our new low-cost day-care program are invited
to an HR orientation on September 15.
b. For several years we have studied the possibility of offering a day-care option for those employees
who are parents. Until recently, our management team was unable to agree on the exact parameters
of this benefit, but now some of you will be able to take advantage of this option.
Subject line: New day-care program announcement
3. An e-mail message announcing an employee satisfaction survey:

a. We have noticed recently an increased turnover among our sales staff. We are concerned about
this troubling development and would like to study its causes. We have hired an outside consulting
firm to gauge the attitudes of our salespeople in confidential qualitative interviews.

b. The consulting firm Strelitz & Kaus Research Associates will soon conduct in-depth qualitative
interviews to explore the satisfaction among our sales staff and recommend strategies to stem the tide
of recent departures.

Subject line: Employee satisfaction survey

4. A memo announcing a new procedure:

a. It has come to our attention that some staff members write blogs, sometimes publicly addressing
sensitive company information. We respect the desire of employees to express themselves and
would like to continue allowing the practice, but we decided to provide binding rules to ensure
the company's and the bloggers' safety.
b. The following new policy for blog authors will help staff members to create posts that will
maintain the integrity of the company's sensitive information and keep the writers safe.
Subject line: Blog authors’ new policy announcement
Exercise 2. Revise the following wordy paragraph into an introductory statement with
a concise list that has three bullet points. Could you use category headings for your
bullet points?
1. If you are a job candidate interviewing for a job, you should follow a few guidelines that most
people consider basic. You will be more successful if you do these things. One of the first things to
do is get ready. Before the interview, successful candidates research the target company. That is, they
find out about it. If you really want to be successful, you will prepare success stories. Wise
candidates also clean up any digital dirt that may be floating around the Internet. Those are a few of
the things to do before the interview. During the interview, the best candidates try to sound
enthusiastic. They answer questions clearly but with short, concise responses. They also are prepared
to ask their own questions. After the interview, when you can relax a bit, you should remember to
send a thank-you note to the interviewer. Another thing to do after the interview is contact
references. One last thing to do, if you
If you are a job candidate interviewing for a job, you should follow a few guidelines and you will be
successful:
 Before the interview: research the target company, prepare successful stories, clean up any
digital dirt
 During the interview: sound enthusiastic; answer questions with clear, short, and concise
responses; ask your own questions
 After the interview: send a thank-you note, contact references
You could use category headings in this situation to divide into 3 different categories: before the
interview, during the interview, after the interview.
Exercise 3. List at least 5 weaknesses of the following email.
Danika Benoit <dbenoit@bien.com>
From: Nathan Weintraub <nweintraub@bien.com>
Subject: Interns?
Hi, Danika,
You may remember that some time ago our management team here at Bien talked about
an internship program. The topic has come up again at this time, and I’m taking this
opportunity to ask you to please answer some questions about whether this is a good idea
or not. As our organization continues to expand, interns might make sense. But there are
many points that we need to discuss, and I’ve put together a few questions that I think we
should cover at the next management meeting. Please mark your calendar to meet on
March 14 at 9 a.m. in the morning
First, we really need to discuss whether an internship program is advantageous to us here
at Bien. In addition, what are the disadvantages? Next, what are some of the ramifications
legally of hosting an internship program here in our state? Another question that enters my
mind is whether we should pay interns. Do they receive college credit instead? I wonder if
that serves as satisfactory compensation. Finally, we need to discuss where this program
would be launched within Bien. What departments would pilot such a program?
I hope you will give careful thought to these questions and come prepared to discuss.
Nathan Weintraub
Manager, Human Resources | nweintraub@bien.com | Cell: 566.201.9033
5 weaknesses of the email:
 Wordy topic sentence, indirect email opening
  Unclear body: instead of a whole paragraph, the writer can create bullet points for
each questions mentioned
 The important information is not highlighted in the email, make it unclear for the
reader
 Meaningless one-word subject line
 Unnecessary connective words/conjunction between the sentences
Exercise 4. Write an e-mail or memo to Mr. Rollins including all the information he
needs. Make your message easy to scan and visually appealing.
Your boss, Pete Rollins, has scheduled three appointments to interview applicants for the position of
project manager. All of these appointments are for Thursday, August 22. However, he now must
travel to Miami that week. He asks you to reschedule these appointments for one week later. He also
wants a brief background summary for each candidate.
Although frustrated, you call each interviewee and are lucky to arrange these times. Diego Abrego,
who has been a project manager for nine years with Summit Enterprises, agrees to come at 10:30
a.m. Edna Kerber, who is a systems analyst and a consultant to many companies, will come at 11:30
a.m. Maya Oliva, who has an MA degree and six years of experience as a senior project coordinator
at High Point Industries, will come at 9:30 a.m. You are wondering whether Mr. Rollins forgot to
include Kimberly Yang, operations personnel officer, in these interviews. Ms. Yang usually is part of
the selection process.
Subject: Rescheduling interviews
Dear, Mr. Rollins,
I have rescheduled three interviews from Thursday, August 22 to Thursday, August 29. Below is
the time with the interviewees and their backgrounds:
1) 9:30 a.m: Maya Oliva (has an MA degree, six years of experience as a senior project
coordinator at High Point Industries)
2) 10:30 a.m: Diego Abrego (nine years as a project manager with Summit Enterprises)
3) 11:30 a.m: Edna Kerber (a systems analyst, consultant to many companies)
Also, I am wondering whether you forgot to include Ms. Yang in these interviews as she usually is
part of the selection process.
Please reply to this email if you have any further requirements.
Madeline.
Officer | k61.2212650022@ftu.edu.vn | Tel: 024 836 6878