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Emotional Inhibition Schema

The emotional inhibition schema is defined as excessively inhibiting emotions like anger, positive feelings, and vulnerability in order to avoid disapproval from others and feelings of shame. Common areas of inhibition involve anger, positive emotions, expressing feelings and needs, and prioritizing rationality over emotions. This schema develops from experiences in childhood where emotional expression was discouraged or elicited negative reactions from others, leading people to suppress parts of themselves. The detached protector mode is a result, inhibiting true self-expression and fulfillment in relationships. Understanding one's schema can help develop the healthy adult within to give permission to feel and express a full range of emotions.

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103 views2 pages

Emotional Inhibition Schema

The emotional inhibition schema is defined as excessively inhibiting emotions like anger, positive feelings, and vulnerability in order to avoid disapproval from others and feelings of shame. Common areas of inhibition involve anger, positive emotions, expressing feelings and needs, and prioritizing rationality over emotions. This schema develops from experiences in childhood where emotional expression was discouraged or elicited negative reactions from others, leading people to suppress parts of themselves. The detached protector mode is a result, inhibiting true self-expression and fulfillment in relationships. Understanding one's schema can help develop the healthy adult within to give permission to feel and express a full range of emotions.

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melia243
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We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Emotional Inhibition Schema

The emotional inhibition schema is defined as the excessive inhibition of spontaneous action,
feeling or communication-usually to avoid disapproval by others, feelings of shame, or losing
control of one’s impulses. The most common areas of inhibition involve:
- inhibition of anger and aggression
- inhibition of positive impulses (e.g., joy, affection, sexual excitement, play)
- difficulty expressing vulnerability or communicating freely about one’s feeling and
needs
- or excessive emphasis on rationality while disregarding emotions

As Rune Moelbak discusses “In the book “Meeting the Shadow”, poet Robert Bly speaks of life as a
process of hiding ever more things in a bag we drag behind us. Over time the bag grows larger and
larger. From having an initial 360-degree personality, we gradually discover that not all aspects of
ourselves invite positive reactions. To keep our sense of being loved and liked, we therefore start
stuffing our bag with all the parts that aren’t acceptable. Sadly, after we have gone through our
childhood and adolescence, we end up with only a slice of ourselves
out in the open.

Why We Lose Touch with Our Emotions:


We learn to deal with our emotions often from how others deal with
them. If people disapprove of our feelings or certain feelings, or
criticize us, or jump in to provide solutions prematurely, or may be
scared of our emotions we can start to see our emotions in the same
way. When a bigger, wiser person doesn’t regulate our emotions,
they can be overwhelming. Or emotional expression can feel
shameful or weak. In either case our “bag” of unwanted emotions
begins to grow. Perhaps
• a mother who is overly anxious about our desire to explore the world, can unwittingly convey the
message that exploration is dangerous
• a father who becomes sullen when we express criticism, can convey the message that criticism is
hurtful and should be avoided at all cost
• a peer who laughs at us for confiding in them, can make us feel weak or ashamed about sharing our
vulnerabilities.”
These experiences lead to an Emotional Inhibition Schema that often drives the Detached Protector –
the mode that you flip into when being asked to be vulnerable, to let out emotions or express yourself.
The Detached Protector can be like
• “a self-reliance so strong that we will never get hurt again by anyone, but may find ourselves
lonely and unfulfilled
• disowning our rightful indignation and anger and allow ourselves to be abused or mistreated
• an inability to become excited because our fear of loss outweighs our courage to risk.”
• a flat and unresponsive way of being in relationships – a wall that our partner can’t get over and
a wall that traps us in
• an involuntary shutdown when we actually do want to feel
Which description fits for you?

An emotional inhibition schema often edits out one whole emotion. For example we can edit out anger,
so life can only be experienced with mixes of sadness and joy, but not anger (even healthy
assertiveness). Or anger and fear, but not joy. It’s like trying to create a spectrum of colours using only 2
basic colours, our life can get very limited
Each time we shrink from life or disavow a basic human emotion, we reinforce the schema. The result
of cutting off access to part of who we are will
often lead to depression, or permanent
numbness.
What can I do?
As you understand your schema, the origins and
the way it impacts you, you can start to develop
your Healthy Adult – who can make space for
self-0expression and difficult feelings. This can
include:
• giving permission to feel and express a
range of experiences
• making sure you have safe people to
express yourself to
• seeing the impact of “bagging” all the
parts you were told are not OK
• writing a letter to the person (or culture) who taught you it wasn’t OK to express yourself and
tell them the impact that has had on you (you probably won’t send this letter, but writing it is
important)
You will also need to find the Happy Child part of you that has been squashed or shamed. You might
like to
• try watching funny YouTube clips and let yourself laugh out loud
• try a dancing /drama/drawing class
• get close to nature and allow yourself to be curious
• play with children and let their spontaneity rub off
• play a game from childhood with friends; Twister, charades, jumping in puddles
• put some music on and dance
The goal is being able to paint with all of the emotional colours you were born with and even make a
mess sometimes
Quotations are taken from a blog post by Rune Moelbak http://www.bettertherapy.com/blog/emotional-inhibition/
Ruth Holt, 2019, 2022

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