Memoirs of an Elf – read by Sutton Foster

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Welcome to Storyline Online, brought to you by the SAGAFTRA Foundation. I'm Sutton Foster,
and today I'm going to read Memoirs of an Elf written by Devon Skillion and illustrated by Tim
Bowers. Christmas Eve 09:45 p.m.. 2 hours until launch. On Christmas Eve, the sleigh is loaded
and I feel great. My ears are nice and pointy, and I'm feeling extra short today. Bob in a
nutshell, look really good too. Around the world in 24 hours and it's our job to keep Santa on
schedule. I feel so good, I snap and healthy. 10:45 p.m. 1 hour before launch and it begins to
snow. The reindeer love it. We elves have a saying no snow, no Christmas. But at the North
Pole, it has snowed every Christmas Eve for like 600 years. So no problem. I send a text to
Santa. Time to fly, big guy. He says I worry too much. He's probably right. Little known fact
santa is a really smart guy. Midnight launch time. Santa kisses mama claws and waves to the
other elves. I've got the GPS. Bobbin is in charge of the toy bag, and Nutshell has the nice list.
Little known fact we don't even bring the naughty list with us.

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A crack of the whip and away we go into the polar sky. I start the timer. 24 hours to go. 22
hours to go. So far so good. Guam and Fiji were a little warm. But backed up above, the clouds
were as cool as Popsicles. As we head for New Zealand, Santa is singing Here comes Santa
Claus. Littleknown fact it's his favorite carol. No music, no Christmas, that's what I always say.
18 hours to go. Starting to worry about falling behind. Santa always wants to stop and pet every
dog. Little known fact santa loves dogs and dogs love Santa. He's playing with a dog named
Tugboat. When I yelled down the chimney santa.

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We got to go.

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Santa just laughs like he always does. 12 hours to go. Halfway around the world, Bob in a
Nutshell are arguing about whether the bag is half full or half empty. We're falling further
behind because the kids have left more cookies than usual this year. Santa tries to eat all of
them except ginger Snaps. Little known fact santa doesn't like ginger snaps, so he gives all of
those to me. Bob in a nutshell little known fact number two you should leave ginger Snaps for
Santa. Please and thank you. 9 hours to go. We're really slow getting out of Mexico City. Kids
there leave tamales for Santa, and.

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He loves tamales as much as cookies.

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I point to my watch and say, come on, big guy.

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No Santa, no Christmas.

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Santa just laughs and says not true, Spark.

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I'll bet you a candy cane.

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Little known fact when Santa is serious about something, he bets you a candy cane.

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4 hours to go. We made up time in Brazil, but now Santa is taking too long. Again. This time he's
playing with a train set that he just delivered. We're waiting so long that the reindeers start
nibbling on some tencel.

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No.

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I yell. Littleknown fact reindeer love tencel, but it makes them hyper. It's like 50 cups of coffee.
Bob and drags Santa away from the train set. 30 minutes to go. With all of the toys gone, the
sleigh is very light now. And it's a good thing because the reindeer are exhausted. Santa pokes
his head out of the last chimney and yells merry Christmas to.

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All, and to all a good night.

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We made it with half an hour to spare. Little known fact at the last house, we always join hands
and sing Silent Night. The reindeer too. And we head for home. The North Pole.

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TADA.

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We've done it again. Around the world in one night. And we made it to every house. We land at
the North Pole, where everyone is there to greet us. They're singing and dancing and lots of hot
chocolate. Oh, and French toast. But as we're unloading the sleigh, bobin says he doesn't think
the toy bag is empty.

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How can that be?

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We gave away every present on the list. But it's not a present in the bag, and it just licked
Bobbin's ear.

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It's Tugboat. Ho, ho, ho.

We have a stowaway, laughed Santa as Tugboat covers his face and kisses. Santa is laughing
and smiling, but I am not laughing. I'm panicking.

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Santa, I say, we stole someone's dog.

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The music stops and everyone is quiet.

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This has never happened before. Mama Claus says what everyone is thinking. I don't think it's a
very good Christmas morning at Tugboat's house. Well known fact santa gives things away. He
does not take things. We are in ginormous trouble.

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Any ideas?

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Asks Santa. Bobin says we should put Tugboat in a box and mail him home. Nutshell says we
should keep Tugboat for a year and take him back next Christmas. I suggest we put Tugboat in a
hot air balloon and that he would probably mostly sort of be okay. Mama Claus is the only one
thinking clearly. Get back in the sleigh. She yells. But the sun is just coming up. Little known fact
we have never flown during the day. People could see us. We put sunglasses on the reindeer
and change into disguises that probably aren't very good. The reindeer are tired and confused,
but Santa gives them a few nibbles of tinsel and they race for the runway. Suddenly we're off
like a rocket back into the sky. We're all very worried, except Tugboat. He's having the ride of
his life. 09:00. A.m. Christmas morning. We land behind some trees near Tugboat's house.
Bobbin and Nutshell stay with Tugboat while Santa and I creep up to the window. It's worse
than we thought. There are all of the presents we brought, but they haven't been touched.
Three children are crying. Their mother is on the phone and their father is standing in the
doorway yelling, tugboat.

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Tugboat. Here, boy.

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How dreadful, whispered Santa. We sneak back to the sleigh. Now it gets complicated. Bobbin
thinks we should sneak Tugboat down the chimney. Nutshell is thinking about a big slingshot.
I'm wondering if the back door is open. It seems impossible, really, but Santa gives Tugboat a
pat and says, Go ahead, boy. In a flash, Tugboat takes off like a rabbit through the trees,
plowing through the snow and toward the house. All of a sudden, the whole family is in a pile
covering Tugboat with hugs and kisses. More tears now, but they're the good kind. And I have
honestly never seen a happier family on Christmas morning. Santa looks at me and smiles. No
Tugboat, no Christmas, he says. He's right. Of course he's right. I slide a candy cane from my
pocket and hand it to Santa as we climb back into the sleigh. Little known fact, santa is a really
smart guy. We're really happy. And before we head for home, we snap an elfie. Have a merry
Christmas. Please and thank you.

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This is an awesome book.

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It's so nice to have an inside track of, you know, the elves and Santa. It's like, I feel like I really
know what happens, you know, during that during that epic night. I can't wait to read this to my
daughter. I have a five year old daughter. I'm really excited. I think she's going to love it.

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We love to read and we especially.

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Love to read holiday books, but we pretty much read them year round. Thank you for
watching Storyline online. Make sure to check out all of our stories and keep watching and
keep reading.