CHAPTER 1

Sex and lovemaking

Relationship is for two people who should have joint affections, specific
objectives, and mutual understanding of how to accomplish their ambitions
in the present and future. When the affections are not the same towards
each other, it causes many drawbacks, which hamper the growth of the
relationship. One cherished sacred gift in a relationship is sex, which I prefer
calling lovemaking because you can have sex with anyone, but lovemaking to
someone you love.

Sex and lovemaking are another form of communication used for

reproduction, pleasure, and many other things. People are diverse, and their
taste and reasons for sex and lovemaking are also different. For example, my
friend might desire a stout and buxom woman with a bright colour to make
love, whereas it is a turnoff to me. It does not matter what other people
want, but what a couple desire. If your desires are not the same there would
be a problem in your sex life because one could not satisfy the other. Some
people make love when they are under stress, and some prefer it all the time.
It is a problem if you are with someone who wants to make love every day
while you want to make love once a month. An insatiable desire in your sex
life might be through pleasant experiences, which led to escalating your
drive. The reason you do not want to make love might be through a
traumatic experience. All these reasons are valid, but they affect your sex life,
and in the long run, it might break you into pieces.

Most people want to appear holy on the subject of sex and lovemaking; they
think that talking about sex is unholy, whereas God created sex.

It is the Holy Grail containing the threads of your relationship together. The
moment you get married to someone, you must not deprive them when they
are in need. If you got married because you want to pray, then be a nun and
pray all the time without making love to your partner.

Sex and lovemaking become a severe problem when it is unpractised the

right way. If you provide absolute satisfaction to each other, there is a small
proclivity that one of you would cheat. If one partner experiences satisfaction
and the other do not consider their needs, one is prone to seek ways and
means to satisfy themselves. Before you get married, ask yourself if you are
comfortable making love to your partner. Would you start sex if you have an
intense drive for sex? Would you expect your partner always to start
lovemaking? Would you be prepared to serve your partner each time she
requires lovemaking? Remember, the feeling must be mutual. What happens
when he cannot satisfy you, would you consider sex toys or suggest the
men’s clinic to get his drive back? Most men have pride and they dislike
someone tells them what to do. Would your man be open to suggestions, or
his word take preeminence? Would you consider going out and cheat to get
the ultimate satisfaction? Do you know that as soon as they marry you, you
must only make love to your partner? If you say she does not satisfy you, do
you consider suggestions to keep the fire burning? What is your attitude
towards sex and lovemaking? Do you think of your past when someone is
asking about sex? If you think of your experiences, whether good, that will
affect your relationship because you are in the present.

You are all virgins, and as soon as you get married, you discover your spouse
wants sex all the time she sees you, and you only want it once a week. How
do you combat that problem? Do you advise her to leave because you do not
have the drive? Do you genuinely have a low sex drive or don’t enjoy making
love to your partner? Most people have mistaken a low sex drive to no desire
for sex towards a particular person. Why do you marry if you are depriving
her? Why do you marry when you have an extramarital affair? Isn’t that you
should sit down and address all gaps that need fulfilment?

Do you know what turns her on? Does she know what turns you on or you
just have sex because they marry you?

After lovemaking, do you ask if she is satisfied or you assume she is fine
because you are fine?
Did you know that asking if it satisfies her is not to shame you, but to address
opportunities in your sex life? Your relationship cannot be proper without
reason; the same goes for lovemaking; it is divine because of a reason, both
parties must understand. If you do not have a reason for lovemaking, then
you are a danger to your relationship. You are a danger because anyone
might lay you down. If you do not have a reason, chances are passion will
fade away. When passion fades away, it might unlock a door to many
temptations leading to infidelity.

For example, your partner becomes more spiritual that she only wants
lovemaking once a month. How do you expect your husband to survive when
you used to make love every day? Your partner is the only target market for
making love with you, but when you deprive him, the devil will provide a
variety of choices. Biblical we understand you can only abstain for a brief
period while praying because when you prolong the devil will come between
you. Making love is not only about penetration and completing a task, but
exploring each other and strengthening the emotional bond of your intimacy.

The chemistry of love and emotional bonding gets strong through lovemaking
to your partner.

You should stop having sex and start making love because that way, your
relationship will remain intact. Ladies are emotional species, and they
observe a delicate detail that takes place in your relationship. If the
lovemaking has decreased, they are the ones to notice, because you no
longer do certain things you used to perform. Once you make love, you have
imprinted on her because biblical; you know a lady when you make love to
her. She had remained without blemish until she met you, therefore letting
you into her sacred being; why should the passion fade after waiting for such
long? Isn’t that two of you must own the palace?

If you cannot own it, scavengers and vampires are lying in wait to eat the
leftovers? There should be no leftovers in lovemaking because the moment
must be unique to each time you lay with your partner. Lovemaking rekindles
the spark in your relationship where the fire blazes regardless of the weather
because you control the weather in your bedroom. Do not be a turnoff in
your sex life and lovemaking; words are significant. Do not call her like you
are summoning a steward to sweep the yard; use tender words and actions
to arouse her feelings.

You do that because ladies take long to recharge than men. When you have
sex, your communication level diminishes because you are doing it for the
sake of completing a task. We complete our tasks where we work to get
payment. Lovemaking contains the threads of your relationship together so
much the bond is immune to third parties. When that occurs, you will never
get exhausted from your partner because you love her, hence making love to
her. Your mind is having excellent and negative thoughts; when making love,
manifest all pleasant thoughts, and your mood brightens up the critical
moment. Lovemaking is your number one Olympic sport, and you are the
championship players. Failure to give a reason you make love with your
partner is another way of saying I do not know if you satisfy me. If you do not
know, chances are you will seek one that satisfies you. Failure to inform your
partner if they satisfy you, might be you, are two-faced, and this is one of the
primary reasons for infidelity. You are interested in sizeable women, and now
she has lost much weight, this would affect your sex life because your desire
is on sizeable women and not around love. There would be shallow bodily
contact. Logic dictates that there is no way your sex drive will drop without a
concrete reason. Being in a relationship with someone two-faced is
dangerous because one is a sex toy or a sperm dish.

It might be he wanted to waste your time or prove a point to his peers at

your expense. Never marry because somebody impregnated you, because
the sole connection between you is the baby, not love. Remember the
market delivers unique products all the time, and to him, you were just a
seasonal product required to relax his nerves. What do you expect would
happen in summer when you are a winter stock? If you think he will wear a t-
shirt in winter, think again. You will incur all the damage because you did not
keep sex and lovemaking sacred or because you fell for a smooth talker who
talked his way into your skirts.

There are no middlemen in your sex life. You must speak your mind and
ensure they understand you because your partner must know how you feel.
Imagine going to your neighbour to inform them how your partner is a beast
in the bedroom. Sex and lovemaking are there for you and your partner;
there are no third parties allowed in your bedroom. Remember, your value
will manifest through what you contribute. If you lay with your partner for
the sake of passing the time, no need to be in a shock when time passes you
by and they leave you alone. What are you contributing to your sex life, only
your body or the whole of you? How you present your product is significant.
Two people can sell the same products, another one get customers and the
other none, meaning it matters how to sell. You know your partner prefers
extended foreplay, why don’t you give her long foreplay because that’s how
you have been making love all along? She prefers a meal with a starter; why
do you offer her the main course?

Presentation is vital, ensure your product arouses your partner’s desire when
you make an offer. The presentation goes hand in hand with time; you should
perceive the difference between breakfast and dinner. The way you present
your product and service will determine the way your partner would value
making love to you. He should rather value lovemaking with you than placing
value on someone else. Presentation is everything in sex and lovemaking,
therefore ensure you never go wrong in this department or else you will
represent a turnoff.

Before you entrust someone with your body, do you find it presentable in
your eyes? If it is unpresentable, why do you expect someone to value
making love to you? Remember, the first impression lasts, therefore ensure
to do your best all the time. To come to the point, do it like there is no
tomorrow. When you become one, the only competitor you should allow is
yourself, because your eyes should be on your partner. You should never
relax, but keep up with the standard. If you relax, you are weakening the
bond, and one partner might get tempted to taste various fruits because you
are failing on the basics. It is not enough to be a man, but be hers as much as
she is yours. If she desired a man, she would appreciate anyone, but she
preferred you. She preferred you because you have the qualities of a
husband, therefore remain her husband in the sex department. Stop making
excuses and admit when you have a problem; that way, you will find help
because help comes to those who seek it. You represent her brand, which
should be unreplaced. She is your brand ambassador who never gets
exhausted from praising you to maintain the standard. You are not a one size
fits all, but a size only suitable to your partner.

You cannot wear a size five shoe and feel comfortable when you are a size
eight. It will cause discomfort to your feet, and the same applies to a size
bigger than your feet. There is no comfort. Sex and lovemaking are a
continuous process department where you must always keep up with the
standard. Remember, every act in sex and lovemaking should benefit your
relationship, so always give it your most decent shot. Contemporary trends
are entering the market; your sex life must be flexible to accommodate them.

When your partner is suggesting innovative ways instead of being shy or

rejecting listen because it might shield many storms. If you are timid to listen
to your partner, who are you free to open up to about your sex life and
lovemaking? There is a say which goes; if you do not know about it, you
cannot utilise it or buy it. Your partner is in the information age, but you are
in the Stone Age in the sex life and lovemaking department. Balance the
equation by introducing new skills to keep up with the trend. Most people
only experience lovemaking in the first few months of their union, and after
that, the passion dies. The passion dies because they get used to each other
so much they feel their partners would understand when they omit certain
things. When your partner calls, you frown before you grasp what she
requires from you. Your partner has turned into a terrible object that takes
your joy and happiness away. The problem is you already know the outcome
because you are passing the time for an event a couple should do. When the
fire loses its flame, you will drift from lovemaking to having sex. That is why
you will flee the room as soon as you are complete because the intention was
to complete a task. God did not give you a piece of a job but a helper until
death separates you. When was the last time you made love to your partner?
You will realise you don’t know because all this time you are having sex. Isn’t
that lovemaking should be one of the paramount highlights in your
relationship?

It won’t be your highlight because it embeds you in other projects, forgetting

lovemaking remain an everlasting project for as long as you live. No one
marries because they want to be spiritual; people marry to satisfy the flesh.
That is why you chose your partner because you understand they will fulfil
your human needs and wants best. How can your choice turn out to be a
turnoff?