End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

End of Chapter Activities

GUFFEY/LOEWY, ESSENTIALS OF BUSINESS COMMUNICATION, 12E
CHAPTER 02: PLANNING BUSINESS MESSAGES

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter Review............................................................................................................................................1
Critical Thinking..........................................................................................................................................2
Writing Improvement Exercises.................................................................................................................2
Radical Rewrites..........................................................................................................................................4
Activities and Cases.....................................................................................................................................6
Grammar/Mechanics Checkup - 2.............................................................................................................7
Pronouns....................................................................................................................................................7
Example.....................................................................................................................................................7
Editing Challenge - 2...................................................................................................................................7
Communication Workshop.......................................................................................................................10

CHAPTER REVIEW
1. Define communication. When is it successful? (L.O. 1)
2. Describe the five steps in the process of communication. What can disrupt this process? (L.O. 1)
3. In what ways is business writing differe
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20. nt from school essays and private messages? (L.O. 2)

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 End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

21. Describe the components in each stage of the 3-x-3 writing process. Approximately how much time is spent
on each stage? (L.O. 2)
22. What eight factors should writers consider in selecting an appropriate channel to deliver a message? What
is the difference between a rich and a lean channel? (L.O. 3)
23. How does anticipating and identifying the audience help a business communicator prepare a message?
(L.O. 3)
24. What is the “you” view? When can the use of you backfire? (L.O. 4)
25. What three techniques for developing a warm, friendly, and conversational tone can communicators use in
business messages? (L.O. 4)
26. What are three ways to avoid biased language? Give an original example of each. (L.O. 5)
27. Name five gender-biased words and their improved versions. (L.O. 5)

CRITICAL THINKING
28. Have you ever read something complex and blamed yourself for not understanding it? Fergal McGovern,
CEO of VisibleThread, argues that it’s not your fault, particularly if the subject is investing. He blames
“turgid” and “dense” writing. He thinks that even complex ideas can be expressed in natural, plain
language.i Do you agree? If so, how can writers do this? (L.O. 4)
29. Digital communication channels have overtaken face-to-face and voice-to-voice communication in the
workplace. How has this shift changed the fundamental process of communication? (L.O. 1)
30. Do short messages also require that communicators follow a writing process? Why or why not? (L.O. 2)
31. Writers sometimes use abbreviations such as FYI (for your information) and ASAP (as soon as possible).
Others sometimes use LOL (laughing out loud), 4 u (for you), and gr8 (great). Where would these
abbreviations most likely be found, and how do they contribute to one’s professional image? (L.O. 4)
32. How would knowing that your manager might forward your e-mail to higher-ups affect how you write your
e-mail message? Which characteristics of your e-mail might change? (L.O. 3)

WRITING IMPROVEMENT EXERCISES

Audience Benefits and the “You” View (L.O. 4)
Your Task. Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view.

33. Because we have automated our mobile worker trip forms, we need all employees to use the SmartTrip
travel reimbursement mobile app. This is the fastest way to be reimbursed.
34. We are issuing all our customers new chip-enabled credit cards to replace expired or lost cards and prevent
increasingly costly payouts we have suffered from cyberfraud.
35. Our strict safety policy does not allow us to rent power equipment to anyone who cannot demonstrate
sufficient skill in its use.
36. We’re asking that all employees fill out the online survey by April 1 so that we may develop a master
schedule for summer vacations more efficiently.
37. Our app developers are excited to announce a new free app called FanMile that we believe will entice fans
to share, like, and subscribe to your content.
38. To minimize the cost of having our coaches set up your team training sessions in our limited office space,
we suggest conducting customized team training for your employees right in your own building.
39. We take pride in our national policy of selling name brands at discount prices. That’s why we can allow
store credit, but we cannot give cash refunds on returned merchandise.

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 End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

Conversational but Professional (L.O. 4)

Your Task. Revise the following to make the tone conversational yet professional.
40. BTW, Madison blew a gasket when the manager accused the whole department of ripping off pricey office
supplies.
41. As per your recent request, the undersigned is happy to inform you that we are sending you forthwith the
procedure manuals you requested.
42. Kindly be informed that it is necessary for you to designate the model number of the laser cutting machine
before we can ship your order.
43. Pursuant to your e-mail of the 4th, please be advised that your shipment was sent March 6.
44. R head honcho wz like totally raggety kuz I wz sick n stuff n mist the team meet. Geez!
45. The undersigned respectfully reminds affected individuals that employees desirous of changing their health
plans must do so before December 31.

Positive and Courteous Expression (L.O. 5)

Your Task. Revise the following statements to make them more positive and courteous.
46. We are sorry to let you know that we can offer the 30 percent rebate only to the first 25 buyers, so hurry
up!
47. Construction on your building is at a standstill because the contractor is unable to pour footings until the
soil is no longer soggy.
48. A travel visa cannot be issued until an application is completed and a recent photo is included.
49. Your message of June 1 claims that the blade in your food processor malfunctioned. Although you
apparently failed to read the operator’s manual, we are sending you a replacement blade PLUS another
manual. Next time read page 18 carefully so that you will know how to attach this blade.
50. Customers are ineligible for the 25 percent discount if they fail to provide the discount code at the time of
purchase.
51. As team leader, you apparently failed to remember that you have already assigned me two gigantic and
complex research tasks, and now you have dumped another big job on me—one that I can’t possibly begin
until after I finish the other two jobs.

Bias-Free Language (L.O. 5)

Your Task. Revise the following sentences to reduce bias (e.g., gender, racial, ethnic, age,
and disability).
52. The conference in Honolulu offers special side trips for the wives of executives.
53. Sports Research International hired Demarcus Jones, an African American, for the position of social media
coordinator.
54. In the past a skilled assistant would proofread her boss’s documents and correct any errors he made.
55. Douglas Luna is crippled with arthritis, but his crippling rarely interferes with his work.
56. Recently elected to the city council are a lady lawyer, an Indian CPA, and two businessmen.

Plain Language and Familiar Words (L.O. 5)

Your Task. Revise the following sentences to use plain language and familiar words.
57. Civil Service exams were once required for federal government jobs, but they were phased out subsequent
to the passage of antidiscrimination laws.
58. To expedite ratification of the agreement, we beseech you to vote in the affirmative.
59. Although the remuneration for the position of social media consultant seems low, it is commensurate with
other pay packages for similar positions.
60. The attorney tried to obfuscate the issue with extraneous and superfluous data.
61. Although researchers dialogued with individual students on campus, subsequent group interviews proved
fruitless.

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 End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

Precise, Vigorous Words (L.O. 5)

Your Task. From the choices in parentheses, select the most precise, vigorous words.
62. If you receive two job offers at once, you can probably (get, land, negotiate) a better deal.
63. Dakota’s outstanding report contains (a lot of, loads of, reams of) helpful data.
64. The CEO said that we must (review, change, reduce) overtime hours to (fix, balance, rework) the budget.
65. Our operations manager demanded a (substantial, 20 percent, big) reduction in staff travel expenditures.
66. In the courtroom the attorney (said, alleged, thought) that the car was stolen.
67. As you suggested, we will (question, interrogate, probe) our accountant.

Selecting Communication Channels (L.O. 3)

Your Task. Using Figure 2.5, suggest the best communication channels for the following messages. Assume that all
channels are available. Be prepared to explain your choice.

68. You want to know what team members are available immediately for a quick video conference. They are
all workaholics and glued to their mobile devices.
69. As a manager during a company reorganization, you must tell nine workers that their employment is being
terminated.
70. You need to know whether Miguel in Reprographics can produce a rush job for you in two days.
71. A prospective client in France wants price quotes for a number of your products—vite, vite!
72. As vice president for community relations, you want to explore the possibility of developing service
learning programs with several nearby colleges and universities.
73. You must respond to a letter from the Internal Revenue Service informing you that your company did not
pay the correct amount for last quarter’s employer’s taxes

RADICAL REWRITES
From Chapter 2 through Chapter 7, you will find Radical Rewrite cases. These are poorly written messages that
invite you to apply the writing techniques you have been learning. Rewriting is an excellent way to help you build
writing skills. It enables you to focus on revising and not on supplying a context or generating imaginary facts. Your
instructor’s feedback regarding your strengths and challenges will speed your growth as a business communicator.
Note that this exercise emphasizes revising, not correcting grammar and mechanics.

2.1 Radical Rewrite: Salvaging a Negative, Unprofessional Message (L.O. 4, 5)

The following e-mail from Avianca Keller, the vice president of employee relations, seeks to help supervisors and
managers write safe and helpful performance reviews.

Your Task. Analyze the problematic e-mail. List at least five weaknesses. Pay special attention to its tone. Your
instructor may ask you to revise the e-mail so that it reflects some of the writing techniques you learned in this
chapter. How can you make this e-mail more courteous, positive, concise, precise, and audience centered? Your
instructor may ask you to revise this message as a collaboration project using Google Docs or Word’s Track
Changes and Comment features.

To: All Supervisors and Departmental Managers

From: Avianca Keller <akeller@rubin.com>
Subject: Legally Risky Employee Evaluations

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 End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

All,
Although it pains me to do this, I must warn you all that recently one of our employees filed a
lawsuit against the company because of comments a supervisor made during a performance
evaluation. This did not have to happen. Look, people, you must be smarter!
Because none of you are dense, here are suggestions you must share with all supervisors and
managers regarding companywide evaluations:

 It goes without saying that you cannot accurately evaluate an employee’s performance unless
you have a system to measure that performance. That’s why the obvious very first step is
developing performance standards and goals for each employee. To be effective, these
standards and goals must be shared with the employee. However, don’t do it orally. Do it in
writing.

 The performance of each employee must be monitored throughout the year. Keep a log for each
worker. Note memorable incidents or projects in which he was involved. But don’t just keep
favorable comments. I know that many of you are understandably averse to placing negative
comments in an employee’s file. However, MAN UP! Even negative comments must be included
as part of the evaluation process.

 Once a year each employee must be formally evaluated in a written performance appraisal—
yes, I do mean written! In a face-to-face meeting, let the employee know what you think they
did well and in what areas the employee may be able to improve. Be specific, give deadlines, be
honest, and be realistic.
Giving evaluations can be difficult. With careful preparation, however, the process can be smooth
and safe. Don’t allow yourself or the company to get involved in any more legal ramifications.
Avianca Keller
Vice President, Employee Relations
akeller@rubin.com
______________________________________________________________________________

List at least five weaknesses.

ACTIVITIES AND CASES

2.2 Analyzing Primary and Secondary Audiences (L.O. 3)
Your Task. Using the questions in Figure 2.4, write a brief analysis of the audience for each of the following
communication tasks. What kind of reaction should you expect from the primary reader and any secondary
readers? What tone should you convey?

a. As a soon-to-graduate senior, you are writing a profile that you will post to LinkedIn. You hope it will
land you a job offer.
b. As an administrator of your city water department, you must write a letter to water users explaining
that the tap water may taste and smell bad; however, it poses no threats to health.

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 End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

c. You are a member of an organization promoting Earth Day. You have been asked to encourage your
office to save paper, and you know of several tips for doing that. You want to persuade your boss to
send a message to employees with several tips that you will provide.
d. You are about to send an e-mail to your regional sales manager describing your visit to a new customer
who is demanding special discounts.
e. You are preparing an unsolicited sales message to a targeted group of executives promoting part-time
ownership in a corporate jet plane.
f. You are planning to write an e-mail to your manager to try to persuade her to allow you to attend a
leadership training program that will require two hours of weekly release time for ten weeks.

2.3 Is Plain Writing a Civil Right? (L.O. 5)

E-Mail
Team
As an intern at VisibleThread, the compliance and clarity experts, you and several other interns have been
assigned the task of researching the history of the plain writing/plain language movement. Many of its
principles are embodied in the business model of VisibleThread. Your training manager Fiona McBride thinks
that this research will help you better understand the company goals. She found a stirring quotation from
Annetta Cheek, who kicked off the Plain Language Symposium in Washington, D.C., some years ago. Ms.
Cheek claimed that “plain writing is a civil right.”ii Do you agree?

Your Task. As part of your intern training, Ms. McBride asks you and other interns to prepare a brief history
of the movement. Explain how it got started, who must comply, and whom it benefits. She also asks that you
list and illustrate at least five of its guidelines with original examples. Individually or as a team, prepare a one-
page report as an e-mail directed to Fiona.McBride@vthread.com but submitted to your instructor.

GRAMMAR/MECHANICS CHECKUP - 2

PRONOUNS
Review Sections 1.07–1.09 in the Grammar Review section of the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook. Select the
correct form to complete each of the following statements. Record your answer and the appropriate
Grammar/Mechanics section to illustrate the principle involved. When you finish, compare your responses with
those at the bottom of the page. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles in parentheses.

EXAMPLE
The Ride Share Committee will introduce (a) its, (b) their employee carpool program soon.

Answer: a (1.09d)

1. (a) Who, (b) Whom in this department have you considered for promotion?
2. When parking your car facing uphill, turn (a) it’s, (b) its front wheels away from the curb and let it roll
back a few inches.
3. Every text message sent between the CEO and (a) he, (b) him was revealed during the discovery phase
before the deposition.
4. I was expecting to meet with Neta. Was it (a) she, (b) her who called to explain the delay?
5. It looks as if (a) yours, (b) your’s is the only financial report that discusses global markets.

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 End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

6. Send the sales figures to (a) whoever, (b) whomever requests them.
7. My sister and (a) I, (b) me, (c) myself responded to the same casting call at The Walt Disney Studios.
8. Every player on the women’s soccer team must wear (a) her, (b) their uniform to be able to play.
9. Amandeep asked Otilia and (a) I, (b) me, (c) myself to help him finish a presentation on retirement benefits.
10. Everyone except the budget director and (a) I, (b) me, (c) myself heard the fire alarm.
11. No one knows that potential building site better than (a) she, (b) her, (c) herself.
12. If neither Ellis nor I receive our vaccination in time, (a) him and me, (b) he and I cannot make the trip.

13. One of the mothers visiting the zoo left (a) their, (b) her smartphone on the bus.
14. Yeong and (a) I, (b) myself, (c) me are planning our community service day.
15. A proposed change to the bylaws was sent to (a) we, (b) us owners before the vote.

EDITING CHALLENGE – 2
Every chapter provides an editing exercise to build your grammar and mechanics skills. The following e-mail is a
short report about beverage sweeteners from a researcher to his boss. In this message look for errors in proofreading,
grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, word use, and number form. Be especially alert to problems with
noun plurals, pronouns, and then/than and there/their. Study the guidelines in the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook
(Appendix D), including the lists of Confusing Words and Frequently Misspelled Words. Hint: You should make
about 30 edits.
Your Task. Edit the following by (a) inserting corrections in your textbook or on a photocopy using proofreading
marks in Appendix C or (b) downloading the message from www.cengage.com and correcting at your computer
using the MS Word feature Track Changes.

To: Cruz Wayan <cwayan@interbev.com>

From: Yuuki Tamandani <ytamandani@interbev.com>

Subject: PepsiCo and Coca-Cola Introduce New Sweeteners

Cruz:
As you requested, herewith is the initial report from Ron and I on the topic of beverage
sweeteners. As you may all ready know, PepsiCo and Coca-Cola launched two drinks using
sweeteners that are new to the market.
Last week Pepsi announced Pepsi True, it’s first mid-calorie soda since the failed launch of Pepsi
Next more then two years ago. Sweetened with a blend of sugar and stevia, which is a plant-
derived sugar substitute Pepsi True contains only 60 calories. Thats 30 percent fewer calorys
then regular cola. As sales of low-calorie diet sodas like Diet Pepsi drop, mid-calorie alternatives
blend sugar with other sweetners. According to inside information obtained by Ron and I, Pepsi
True was tested on the shelves of grocerys, mass merchants, and convenience stores in 5 citys in
Florida.
Last month Coca-Cola rolled out Coca-Cola Life which is also sweetened with sugar and stevia. It
was successfully tested in the U.K. and South America. In our own in-house research, all of the
office gals really liked Life.

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 End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

BTW, approval from the Food and drug administration did not materialize automatically for
these new sweeteners. FDA approval was an issue because studys conducted in the early 1990s
suggested that their were possible adverse health affects from the use of stevia-based products.
However the herb has been approved for use in 12 countrys.
Both PepsiCo and Coca-Cola eventually received FDA approval, and there products are all ready
on the market. Ron and I cannot submit our full report until after him and I complete our
investigation in October.
Yu

_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yuuki Tamandani

Senior Investigator | Research and Development | ytamandani@interbev.com

Office: (424) 644-1080 | Cell: (562) 851-8937

COMMUNICATION WORKSHOP: CAREER SKILLS

Practicing Your Problem-Solving and Decision-Making Skills

Browsing job postings on Indeed, you will see ads in the hundreds of thousands explicitly asking for critical-
thinking skills (133,170); decision-making skills (210,600); and, most coveted, problem-solving skills (403,300).
It’s not a coincidence. These crucial professional skills are vital in a workplace that needs employees who can think,
work independently, and make sound decisions.

Much of this book is devoted to helping you solve problems and communicate those decisions to management,
fellow workers, clients, the government, and the public. Facing a challenge, most of us do a lot of worrying before
identifying the concerns or making a decision. You can convert all that worrying to directed critical thinking by
following these steps:

1. Identify and clarify the problem. Your first task is to recognize that a problem exists. Some problems are
big and unmistakable, such as failure of a shipping company to deliver packages to customers on time.
Other problems may be continuing annoyances, such as regularly running out of toner for a networked
office printer in heavy use. The first step in reaching a solution is pinpointing the problem.
2. Gather information. Learn more about the problem or situation. Look for possible causes and solutions.
This step may mean checking files, calling suppliers, or brainstorming with fellow workers. For example,
the shipping company might analyze personnel workloads and traffic patterns in the city at various times of
the day to determine the causes of the delays.
3. Evaluate the evidence. This is where you apply your critical thinking: Where did the information come
from? Does it represent various points of view? What biases could be expected from each source? How
accurate is the information? Is it fact or opinion? For example, it is a fact that packages are missing; it is an
opinion that they are merely lost, it’s not a big deal, and they will turn up eventually.
4. Consider alternatives and implications. Draw conclusions from the gathered evidence and propose
solutions. Then weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each solution. What are the costs, benefits, and

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website, in whole or in part.
 End of Chapter Activities: Chapter 02: Planning Business Messages

consequences? What are the obstacles, and how can they be handled? Most important, what solution best
serves your goals and those of your organization? Here is where your creativity is especially important.
5. Choose the best alternative and test it. Select an alternative, and try it out to see if it meets your
expectations. If it does, put your decision into action. If it doesn’t, rethink your alternatives. The shipping
company decided to give its unhappy customers free delivery service to make up for the lost packages and
downtime. Be sure to continue monitoring and adjusting the solution to ensure its effectiveness over time.

Career Application. As a manager of a much frequented Burger King restaurant, you have a problem. Customers
are unhappy with multiple lines for counter service because they don’t seem to know where to stand to be the next
served. Tempers flare when aggressive customers cut in line, and other customers spend so much time protecting
their places in line that they are not ready to order. As the manager, you want to solve this problem. Any new
procedures, however, must be approved by a majority of Burger King owners in your district. You know that Burger
King’s management favors the multiline system because the executives believe that this configuration
accommodates higher volumes of customers more quickly than a single-line system does. In addition, customers are
turned off when they see a single long line.

Your Task

 Individually or with a team, use the critical-thinking steps outlined here. Begin by clarifying the problem.
 Where could you gather information? Would it be wise to see what your competitors are doing? How do
banks handle customer lines? Amusement parks? Airlines?
 Evaluate your findings and consider alternatives. What are the pros and cons of each alternative?
 With your team, choose the best alternative. Present your recommendation to your class and give your
reasons for choosing it.

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website, in whole or in part.
i

ii