Kos Junior Primary Focus Area3
Kos Junior Primary Focus Area3
The four focus areas in the Keeping Ourselves Safe (KOS) junior primary programme are:
Research suggests that an effective programme should include learning experiences from each of the
four focus areas.
Keeping Ourselves Safe (2021) – Junior primary NZ Police (National Prevention Centre)
Contents
Focus area 3 – Unwanted behaviour or touch, Kore e hiahiatia te whanonga me te pā kino ................ 2
Notes for the teacher: preparation ..................................................................................................... 2
Explanation .......................................................................................................................................... 2
Curriculum links ................................................................................................................................... 2
Success criteria .................................................................................................................................... 2
Learning experience 1 – Saying “no” ....................................................................................................... 3
Learning intentions .............................................................................................................................. 3
Notes for the teacher .......................................................................................................................... 3
Resources ............................................................................................................................................ 3
Activities .............................................................................................................................................. 4
Homework activity .............................................................................................................................. 6
Copysheet: Stop, Walk, Talk – Song words ............................................................................................. 7
Stop, Walk, Talk (emphasis for rapping).................................................................................................. 8
Copysheet: Confident kids say “no” ........................................................................................................ 9
Copysheet: Saying “no” sequence cards (a) .......................................................................................... 10
Copysheet: Saying “no” sequence cards (b) .......................................................................................... 11
Copysheet: Saying “no” sequence cards (c) .......................................................................................... 12
Homework activity: Saying “no” ............................................................................................................ 13
Teacher reference: Telling sequence cards – set order ........................................................................ 14
Learning experience 2 – Secrets and tricks ........................................................................................... 15
Learning intentions ............................................................................................................................ 15
Notes for the teacher ........................................................................................................................ 15
Resources .......................................................................................................................................... 16
Activities ............................................................................................................................................ 17
Homework activity ............................................................................................................................ 17
Copysheet: Trick card situations ........................................................................................................... 18
Too Many Secrets for Mike ................................................................................................................... 20
Homework activity: Secrets and tricks .................................................................................................. 24
Explanation
● Students need to know that they can stop touch or behaviour that is inappropriate or that
worries or confuses them, or makes them feel unsafe.
● Students need to be able to say “no” confidently, move away, and report what has
happened.
● Students learn the difference between good secrets and bad secrets and know how to tell
about bad secrets. They can recognise trick situations and deal with them safely.
Curriculum links
Key Competencies: Managing self, Relating to others, Thinking
● Safety Management: Describe and use safe practices in a range of contexts and identify
people who can help.
● Interpersonal Skills: Express their own ideas, needs, wants, and feelings clearly and listen to
those of other people.
Success criteria
Students can:
● describe what they would do when someone tells them a bad secret
● say what to do when people try to trick them
● identify who could help with a secret or trick
● express themselves clearly when they want to say no.
Learning intentions
Students are learning to:
● say “no” to touch, behavior, or words that worry or confuse them
● move away from a frightening situation and seek help.
Children saying “no” to something that worries them or makes them feel unsafe is quite different
from saying “no” to a reasonable request.
● They should say “no” when they feel unsafe. A reasonable request, such as being asked to
help clear the table, doesn’t make children feel unsafe.
● A child who is being touched for health or welfare reasons, for example at the dentist, may
feel unsafe but needs to comply, with adult support.
If children are facing a very violent situation such as physical abuse from a family member, or are
witnessing family harm, it would not be safe for them to say “no”. The child should report this abuse
to a trusted adult outside the immediate family.
Resources
Available through the NZ Police School portal at https://www.police.govt.nz/advice/personal-and-
community-advice/school-portal/resources/successful-relationships/kos/junior-primary:
Activities
1 – Saying “no”
Review Touch Story Board 3 with the
class.
The table below shows some suggestions, in English, Māori and Samoan. You could ask your school
community for suggestions from other relevant languages.
No, I don’t like it. Kāo, e kino ana ahau. ‘Aua, e sā le mea lenā.
No. I want you to stop. Kāo. Me mutu tēnā. ‘Aua. Aua ‘e te tago mai.
Stop it. I don’t like it. Kāti. E kino ana ahau. ‘Soia. E sā le mea lenā.
Stop it. I’m going to tell. Kāti. Ka whāki atu ahau. ‘Soia. Ou te ta’ua nei oe.
Encourage students to describe the behaviour they want to stop – for example, “Stop pulling my
hair”.
Have students stand up straight and say each of the phrases written in the speech bubbles on the
copysheet, loudly and confidently. Praise them for this.
Display the cards on the whiteboard and work with the class to put them in order. Ask the students
what is happening in each picture. In general, the cards follow this sequence:
1. Something happens.
2. The child is scared, sad, or uncomfortable.
3. The child tells someone about this.
4. The adult does something to help.
The correct sequences are shown in Teacher reference: Telling sequence cards – set order.
Divide students into small groups, each group working with one set of the Telling Sequence Cards.
When the sequence is complete they tell the story to each other.
Ask:
With younger students you may prefer to work with the whole class on this activity.
Students cut out the cards and glue them in the correct sequence on a sheet of paper.
Students draw pictures in each box to show someone stopping an unsafe situation and asking for
help. They show the pictures to a partner who tells the story about what is happening.
Homework activity
Give children the Homework activity sheet: Saying “no” to complete with someone at home.
Whakamutua!
Haere atu!
Korerotia!
● Respect your child’s right to say “no” to touch they don’t like.
● Don’t ask or force your child to give other people a kiss or a hug.
● Support your child when they say “no” to touch or behaviour they don’t like.
● Help them keep safe online.
Role-play each of the following situations with your child. You may prefer to make up some situations
of your own. Your child should respond with one of the following phrases and practise walking away.
Situations
Learning intentions
Students are learning to:
Children often find it hard to distinguish between a good secret, such as a surprise party, and a bad
secret, such as sexual touch. Children need to be able to distinguish the two.
● Generally, a good secret makes people feel good, while a bad secret makes people feel bad
and should be told. Always praise a child for reporting a bad secret.
● Some secrets may be unsafe, and yet the person feels okay about it – for example, a girl who
gets a text message asking her to meet face to face someone she met online.
● Some families may actively encourage children to keep family secrets, for example, refugee
families from war-torn countries, families keeping secrets from police, or families hiding child
maltreatment and family harm.
● They may punish children for not keeping these secrets.
During consultation, parents and caregivers need to understand that the secrets being talked about
are ones that make the child unsafe – for example, if someone is treating them in a sexually
inappropriate way.
● This could discourage the child from reporting inappropriate behaviour or touch in the
future. It is best to listen carefully to each report and then decide how to handle it.
Sometimes a person who is abusing a child will tell them that it is a secret and they mustn’t tell
anyone.
● The abuser may say that something bad will happen if the child tells – they will get into
trouble, no one will believe them, or someone else might get hurt.
Tricks or bribes
People who molest children, whether known or unknown to the child, often use tricks or bribes to
get the child to go with them or to accept inappropriate behaviour. They may offer a ride on the
pretext that the child’s parents have sent them, or that there is an emergency.
● Children need the skills to be able to ignore such offers and to refuse bribes or treats firmly
and promptly. They should quickly move away and tell an adult they trust.
● Children can be ‘groomed’ online for abuse with many of the same tricks or strategies that
are used in face-to-face situations. Technology can provide easy access to the child, covertly
and without a parent’s knowledge.
● There are other ways in which children can be tricked online into viewing explicit material
and giving away personal and family information.
● Young children need to be encouraged always to talk with an adult before responding to an
online request. Very young children should be supervised when online.
Keeping safe
Families should always know where their members are and what they are doing.
● If children are invited to go somewhere, they should ask the person who is in charge of them
before going. If they can’t ask their parents, they should ask a responsible adult, such as a
teacher.
● If no adult is about, they should make a safe decision and move quickly and confidently away
to safety.
● This safety rule applies whether the person is unknown to them or someone they know well,
such as a long-time family friend or neighbour.
Resources
Trick Cards, downloadable PDF, available through the NZ Police School portalat
https://www.police.govt.nz/advice/personal-and-community-advice/school-
portal/resources/successful-relationships/kos/junior-primary
• Cut up and place the cards in a “bag of tricks” (supplied by the teacher)
Activities
1 – Trick cards
Explain to students that sometimes other people may try to trick them into doing things they
shouldn’t do – for example, going somewhere with somebody without telling the person in charge of
them.
Remember that the student should always say “no” and move quickly away and tell an adult they
trust.
Some students who are newer to New Zealand English may find it harder to understand what is said
in the video. Pause the video at relevant places to ask students to predict what will happen or what
the person will say next; and to recap on what actually happened or what was said.
Discuss with the children a time they have kept a good surprise, for example a surprise birthday
party, to check that the class has a clear understanding of the difference between a good surprise
and a bad secret.
Homework activity
Give students Homework activity sheet: Secrets and tricks to complete with someone at home.
Someone stops you in the street and asks if you would like to come and see their
new kittens.
Card 2 Computer
A friend you’ve met online sends you a link to a website. It’s got pictures of nude
children and adults.
Card 3 Baby
An adult from your school asks you to go home with them to see their new baby.
Your family doesn’t know about this.
Card 4 Money
Your babysitter sits by you on the couch and offers you $20 if you take off your
underpants.
Card 5 School
You are waiting for the person who looks after you to pick you up after school.
Someone you don’t know comes past in a car and says that they have been asked
to pick you up and take you home.
Card 6 Cake
Your brother says he will buy you some cake if you let him take photos of you
with no clothes on.
Card 7 Puppy
On the way home from school someone stops you and your brother and asks if
you will help find their lost puppy.
Card 8 Lollies
You are at the beach. Some big kids you know offer you lollies if you go up into
the sand hills with them.
Card 9 Present
One of your family’s friends says he has a special present for you in his car and
wants you to go with him to get it.
Card 10 Cap
Someone stops you in the mall and says “Hello, Tali” and invites you to go and
have an ice cream with them. You don’t know them, but they must know you
because they know your name.
“Can you keep a secret?” asked Mike’s Dad one morning. “You have to promise not to tell anyone. I
want it to be a real surprise.”
“It’s like this,” said Dad. “I want to take your mother out somewhere special for our wedding
anniversary on Saturday, but I don’t want her to guess what’s happening. I want her to think she’s
not going anywhere, then just when she’ll think I’ve forgotten all about it, I’ll tell her I’ve got a secret
surprise for her and off we go.”
“What about me, though?” said Mike. “Who’ll look after me?”
“Well, there’s a bit of luck,” said Dad. “I met your Uncle Steve today and he said he’d come and stay
with you on Saturday. How about that?”
Uncle Steve was Mike’s favourite uncle. Mike couldn’t think of anything he’d like better.
“No one knows except you,” said Dad. “I want your Mum to have a real surprise.”
Questions
The next day at school, when Mike went to hang up his bag, he nearly bumped into Jason. Jason was
standing right behind the door. He had a sandwich in his hand and he was eating it in huge gulping
bites. When he saw Mike he looked angry.
“Why are you eating your lunch now?” asked Mike, surprised.
Jason pushed him hard. “You shut up, Mike,” he said. “Don’t you tell anyone about me. I’ll beat you
up if you do!”
“OK, I’ll keep it a secret,” said Mike. If Jason wanted to eat his lunch before school, he didn’t see that
it mattered. It could be a secret for all he cared.
At lunchtime, Pita was crying because someone had taken his lunch.
“Does anyone know anything about Pita’s lunch?” asked Mrs Haumaha, their teacher.
Mike suddenly remembered Jason and how angry he’d been. He looked around at him. Jason glared
and made a fist as if he wanted to hit him.
“Someone must know something,” said Mrs Haumaha. Mike didn’t say anything, but later when
school was over he put his things away very slowly so that he was the last person to leave.
He opened his mouth to say something then he thought of Jason’s fist. “I’m OK,” he said. And he ran
out to where his mother was waiting.
Questions
Should Mike tell Mrs Haumaha about this? Why, or why not?
On Saturday Mike’s mother was surprised when Uncle Steve arrived, and really happy when Dad told
her he was taking her out.
Uncle Steve and Mike had a wonderful day. They went to a film, had McDonald’s for tea and played
games until it was really late.
“Look at the time!” said Uncle Steve. “You should be in bed. Your mother would be mad if she knew.
We’d better keep it a secret, eh?”
He grinned at Mike. “If you want, I’ve got another surprise – one for real big kids. But it’s got to be a
secret, too. A real secret. Promise?”
Uncle Steve put a game on the computer, settled himself back on the couch with a drink, and
beckoned to Mike to come and sit beside him.
The game was quite good at first, then it started to make Mike feel very uncomfortable. A man was
hurting a woman. She screamed. Mike screamed, too. He got up quickly.
Uncle Steve laughed. “Bit much for you, is it?” He didn’t sound like Uncle Steve at all. He stopped
laughing and looked hard at Mike.
“You’d better remember this is our secret,” he said. “I’m not doing anything wrong. But if you tell
anyone, you’ll be sorry. You’d better believe me!”
He got into bed, but he couldn’t sleep. Uncle Steve had said not to tell anyone and the way he looked
made Mike feel scared. Why did Uncle Steve want it to be a secret if he wasn’t doing anything
wrong?
Questions
When Mike got up in the morning, Uncle Steve had already gone home. At breakfast, Mike’s mother
gave him a cuddle.
“Thanks for keeping my treat a secret,” she said. “It was a lovely surprise.”
“I hate secrets,” said Mike. “I hate them, I hate them!” And he began to cry.
“I thought something was the matter,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with a secret that makes
everyone feel good, but there are some secrets that have to be shared.”
“I know,” said his mother. “But no one should make other people feel bad.”
“That was a really awful secret to have to keep to yourself,” said his mother, “I’m glad you shared it
with me. Now don’t worry anymore. I’ll talk to your Uncle Steve.”
“No way!” said his mother. “No one’s going to get you.” She gave him a hug. Mike felt a lot better.
Questions
How did Mum feel about being taken out to dinner by Dad? Was this a good surprise or a bad secret?
Was it a good idea for Mike to tell Mum about Uncle Steve’s bad secret? Why, or why not?
At school on Monday, Mrs Haumaha called the class together and said she had something to tell
them. She had an idea, she said, that some of the class were coming to school without any breakfast.
“We can’t have anyone feeling hungry here. So if you miss out on your breakfast, or if you know
anyone who might need a bit to eat before school starts, let me know and I’ll rustle up something to
eat.”
At lunchtime Mike waited until everyone had gone outside and then he went up to Mrs Haumaha.
“I need to tell you something,” he said. “It’s a sort of secret but I want to share it. I don’t like secrets
that make me feel bad inside.”
“That sort of secret isn’t a proper secret anyway,” said Mrs Haumaha. “If a secret makes you feel bad,
you should tell someone about it before it gets worse.”
Questions
Was it a good idea for Mike to tell Mrs Haumaha about this secret? Why, or why not?
What are some other good surprises that we shouldn’t tell about?
● Help your child to tell the difference between good surprises and bad secrets.
● Tell them that a good surprise makes people happy and it is okay to keep this kind of secret.
● Tell them that a bad secret makes people feel sad or scared, and they need to tell an adult.
● Tell them that they can always tell you about a bad secret.
● Listen if they report tricks or bad secrets to you, and do something to help.
Give one of the situations below to your child. Get them to role-play Stop, Walk, Talk (Stop, walk
away, tell someone who can help). Repeat with the other situations.
★ Your friend has been playing with matches and has asked you not to tell.
★ Your cousin showed you ‘rude’ pictures online and said it was a secret.
★ Someone you don’t know friended you online and said not to tell anyone.