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WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people say that friends are more important than family in todays world; others say that family is always more important. Write in support of one of these views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and/or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Question taken from IELTS on Track: Test Practice General Training , Slater, Millen & Tyrie

There is an argument to be made supporting that individuals friendships are exceedingly becoming more influential in their lives than their family relationships, as will be explained in the following. that individuals friendships are exceedingly becoming more influential peoples friendships are becoming more and more.. be explained in the following. - be explained below / in this essay/ in the following essay

Although family members often spend a significant time together, they are inevitably from different age groups, which sometimes makes it difficult for them to share views and interests. For example, while teenager members in a home might want to talk excitedly about a current issue at school, older ones, like parents, might find those subjects unimportant and not worth spending time talking about. In such situations, children would naturally be more likely to discuss matters, which are important to them with their friends rather than their family. like parents such as parents matters, which are important matters which are important (you need a defining relative clause here. You are defining which matters. A defining relative clause does not have a comma before the relative pronoun which).

Another reason highlighting a more significant role of friends in developing a persons life, and in particular socials skills, is that unlike family relationships, friendships are not based on unconditional love. Indeed, lack of intense emotions among friends, often

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results in productive criticism of one anothers mistakes, which help improve their compatibility with their society. In addition, the mentioned type of communication amongst friends at early ages, prepares them for their future, in terms of expanding their social and professional network, through creating concrete bonds, which often ^ until later life stages. Another reason highlighting a more significant role of friends in developing a persons life, - Another argument to highlight the more significant role of friends in developing a persons life.. socials skills - social skills productive criticism constructive criticism one anothers mistakes, which help - one anothers mistakes, which helps In addition, the mentioned type Im not sure what youre referring to when you use mentioned here often ^ until Again, Im not entirely sure what you want to say here, but in any case, there is a word missing.

However, it should be noted that the unique home environment has an undeniable impact in every persons life. Family is the very first society, which people get to know, learn from, and receive a tremendous amount of love and support from. The strong family bonds help secure peoples emotions. Moreover, older members of families can use their vast knowledge and experience to guide the younger ones in theirs decisions. Though it is likely that their ideas would not always sound helpful or relevant, as people from one family can be very different in terms of personalities and goals. first society, which people - first society which people (you need a defining relative clause here. You are defining which society. A defining relative clause does not have a comma before the relative pronoun which). The strong family bonds help secure peoples emotions. Strong family bonds help make people emotionally secure (No article were talking about family bonds in general) older members of families older family members theirs decisions. their decisions. Though it is likely that their ideas would not It is, however, likely that their ideas would not

In brief, family members, as well as friends, have determining effects in a persons life, though it seems that ones friends have a higher impact on their final success or failure than family.

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have determining effects in a persons life - have determining effects on a persons life..

Final comments and approximate IELTS band sc/8ore

Task Response You sufficiently addressed all parts of the task. You presented a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas. Coherence and Cohesion

This section basically asks Does it make sense and sound like a native speaker? There were a few moments where this wasnt the case; e.g. in paragraph 3 In addition, the mentioned type where I didnt know what you were referring to. I think you need to make sure that you think clearly when you are writing to get your ideas in order. You logically organised your ideas and managed paragraphing well. Lexical Resource 7/8

You used a wide range of vocabulary with occasional errors in word choice and spelling. Please note that in order to get Band 8 in this area, you are only allowed to make rare errors in spelling, word choice and word formation. Grammatical Range and Accuracy 7

You used a variety of complex structures and error-free sentences were frequent. Take note of my corrections. You made a few errors and need to revise the use of articles and punctuation in relative clauses. Please note that in order to get Band Score 8, you are only allowed to make very occasional errors. Approximate overall IELTS score 7/7.5

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