(27 WISE Guys A Screenplay by George Gallo January 28, 1985FADE IN: INT. HARRY LAFONTAINE'S BEDROOM ~ MORNING L CLOSE ON the intense face of HARRY LAFONTAINE, as reflected in a mirror. Harry looks away, then back into the mirror, HARRY What? Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? HARRY ,JR. (0-C.) Are you talkin' to me? Harry reacts to the barely audible off-screen VOICE. (the voice belongs to Harry's eight-year-old son, Harry Jr.) WIDER ANGLE Revealing that we are in Harry LaFontaine's bedroom. Harry, a stocky, cherubic-faced man in his late thirties, nattily attired in a blue sharkskin suit, pale blue shirt and patterned tie is talking to his image in the mirror. He is holding a shoe. HARRY Are you talkin' to me? Harry puts on one shoe, then searches for the other and can't find it. He then exits the bedroom, limping exaggeratedly thanks to the three inch lift on his shoe. INT. HARRY LAFONTAINE'S HALL/BATHROOM - MORNING 2 Harry moves down the hall to the bathroom where he finds his eight-year-old son, HARRY ,JR. talking to himself in the bathroom mirror exactly as his father did moments before. Harry,Jr. is an exact replica of his Dad, right down to the sharkskin suit. HARRY ,JR. Are you talkin' to me? Well you must be because I'm the only one here. HARRY What are you doin', Harry,Jr.? HARRY JR. I wanna be just like you, Dad. The thought of this turns Harry's face to stone.2 contD HARRY Bite your tongue! You're gonna be a lawyer, maybe even a judge. You should be puttin’ guys like me in jail. HARRY ,JR. Are you talkin' to me? Harry takes a playful swipe at his son who dodges him. HARRY Get outta here. INT. HARRY LAFONTAINE'S KITCHEN - MORNING WANDA LAFONTAINE, Harry's wife, a gently tough-sexy woman in her early 30's is preparing breakfast for her boys. Harry sneaks up behind her and puts his arms around her. She turns and they kiss, then break. Harry goes in for another kiss but Wanda stops him. WANDA Careful, Harry ,Jr.'11 walk in on us, HARRY It's about time he started learning about these things. Wanda pushes him away playfully. Harry sits at the table. Wanda sets his breakfast down in front of him. Harry grabs her arn, HARRY Wanda, I feel terrible about this weekend. WANDA Don't ... I still had fun. HARRY Fun? Sittin' in a plane on a runway at Newark Airport for 16 hours? WANDA We should have known that some- thing was fishy with that travel agent. It was too good to be true. A weekend in Jamaica for $69.95 (MORE)3 conrD 3 WANDA (contd) a person -- air-fare, hotel and "Coco-Locos" included. HARRY It woulda been phenomenal if only they coulda’ got the plane past the safety inspector. WANDA (hugging Harry) Next time we'll go first class, honey. HARRY (wistfully) Yeah ... sure. Harry Jr. enters, sits next to his Dad. HARRY JR. Dad, can I get a ten speed bike? HARRY We'll see. HARRY JR. Jimmy Acavano's father got him one. HARRY Jimmy Acavano's father, Frank the Fixer, can afford it, He hurts people for a living. HARRY ,JR. You mean he kills them, doncha? (points with finger) BOOM-BOOM-OOM. Three in the back of the head. HARRY That's it, we're movin' to Sweden! INT, MOE DICKSTEIN'S BATHROOM ~ MORNING 4 Moe's face is covered by the T-shirt he's pulling over his head. Underneath Moe is singing the Birthday song. MOE DICKSTEIN'S open-uncomplicated, smiling face appears through the T-shirt, still singing. Moe is a contemporary of Harry's.conrD 4 MOE (singing) Happy Birthday dear Moe-e Happy Birthday Birthday to me. Moe checks himself out in the mirror, fishes a rumpled shirt out of the clothes hamper, sniffs the underarm of the shirt and puts it on as he exits. INT. MOE DICKSTEIN'S KITCHEN - MORNING 5 LIL DICKSTEIN, a stocky, gray-haired woman in her 60's is standing in the kitchen ironing a shirt. Moe enters. LIL What are you so happy about? MOE I dunno. I just feel like today's a special day, don't you? LIL No, not really, I feel like today's Monday. MOE So, you don't have anything special planned or anything? LIL Naw. $,0.S. -~ same old stuff. Moe is clearly disappointed. He starts picking at his breakfast until he notices that Lil is staring at him strangely. LIL Stand up, mister! Take that shirt off! MOE Ma, the shirt's o.k. LIL No son of mine is walking out of this house in a shirt like that even though -- given your chosen line of work =~ it may well be riddled with bullets by the end of the day.CONTD MOE Ma, you've seen too many movies. Moe removes the shirt as they talk, Lil hands Moe the freshly ironed shirt that Moe puts on. LIL How do you think I feel being the only woman in the Newark Hadassah who lists her son's eccupation as ‘hoodlum." MOE I am not a hoodlum. I work for Mr. Anthony LaRosa, who's in the olive oil business. LIL (rolling her eyeballs) Please, Moe, your mother’s not that stupid, Tony LaRosa has killed more people than Cecil B. DeMille, To think I escaped the Holocaust so that you can end up working for a guinea gangster, MOE Nice, Ma, You ever stop to think that maybe I'm a trail- blazer; that maybe I'm opening up avenues here in Newark for other Jews; that maybe Moe Dickstein is the Jackie Robinson of organized crime in New Jersey. LIL Great, now he's comparing himself to a schvartze. MOE Before I go, are there any more ethnic groups you want to offend? LIL No, I'm set, Morris. MOE Ma, could you call me 'Moe'? LIL sure as soon as you join the Three Stooges.CONTD 5 A phone rings once. Moe and Lil react. No more rings. LIL Speaking of stooges, there's your friend, Thumbelina. Moe starts for the door, putting on his sport jacket. LIL Hey, where's my kiss? Moe returns and kisses her, She takes his face in her hands. LIL My son ... Morris Capone. EXT, MOE AND HARRY'S STREET ~ MORNING 6 A block in an Italian working class neighborhood. All the houses are identical -- 2 story frame buildings, some with fake brick siding. We see that Harry and Moe live next to each other -~- a vacant lot separates their houses. Harry and Moe exit their houses and walk toward the '81 Buick Regal parked at the curb. Harry notices that Moe's preoccupied. Harry is carrying a baking pan. HARRY She on your case again? MOE What else is new. When I got up I was feeling real special. You know like today was my day, HARRY What's so special about today? MOE Nothing. Forget it! EXT, MOE AND HARRY'S STREET/ INT. CAR - MORNING 7 They get in, Moe is driving. As they pull away from the curb, Harry starts to dab on "MAN-TAN," a fake tanning lotion. MOE What are you putting on your face?coNnTD HARRY Tanning lotion, It's supposed to simulate a tropical tan. How's it look? MOE Like there's something wrong with your liver, HARRY Very funny, Here put some on. All the guys'll expect us to have tans. MOE They wouldn't have if you hadn't shot off your mouth about how we were going to Jamaica for the weekend, big shot. HARRY Well we were. MOE Not in a condemned plane. And where the hell did you get that travel agent? HARRY My cousin Artie, he always uses him, MOE Your cousin Artie's been in jail for five years. HARRY That doesn't mean he didn't like to travel when he was out. MOE Do me a favor, don't talk me into your "deals" anymore. HARRY If I didn't talk you into these things you'd never go anywhere. MOE Even when you do talk me into things I don't go anywhere.conrD 7 HARRY (cockily) Then I guess you don't wanna hear about this incredible package deal to Barbados ... They look at each other and share a smile. EXT, LAROSA'S CLAMBOX - MORNING 8 LAROSA'S is a famous Italian eatery and mobster hangout. Gathered in front are half dozen members of the LaRosa crime family, Among them are SANTO RAVALLO, JOEY "NEW SHOES" SICLIONE, LOUIE TARTAGLIA and SAL "THE BOOKIE. They spot Harry and Moe approaching and nudge each other. SANTO Here come the "Crystal Street Bookends." JOEY Well I feel safer already, how "bout you guys? They laugh. Harry and Moe arrive. Harry is carrying the baking pan. They exchange greetings. SAL "THE BOOKIE" Hey, Harry, what's the matter with your face? HARRY This here? This happens to be a tropical tan. SANTO Oh, I thought it was hepatitis. You guys really went to Puerto Rico? HARRY Jamaica. We don't go to Puerto Rico no more. It's passé. SAL "THE BOOKIE" Moe, you went too? You look a little pale. MOE Well, I ain't the sunworshipper Harry is. I saw a lotta “indoor activity" if you know what I mean.cont 8 JOEY You were watchin’ Tv? All of them laugh at Joey's "great joke.” Door to LaRosa's opens and MARCO SANTUCCI, an emaciated, goggle-eyed professional waiter, sticks his head out. MARCO Two minutes, guys. Mr. LaRosa just buzzed from upstairs. Everybody rushes for the door. Harry and Moe get stuck holding it for everyone. INT. LAROSA'S CLAMBOX - MORNING Ly Empty. A classic neighborhood Italian restaurant. Al1 the guys head toward the rear tables where their morning meeting is held. Harry and Moe head over to the bar. Marco is behind the bar. Harry hands him the baking pan. HARRY Wanda says this is your lasagna pan, It's been at the house since Christmas. MARCO (taking it) Want anything, guys? MOE I'll take an egg-cream, Marco. MARCO Comin' up. How ‘bout you, cous! == a "Coco-Loco"? HARRY Wanda spoke to Aunt Mary, huh? Gimme a chocolatino ... maybe a cannoli too. Marco tosses Harry a bar towel. MARCO Here, you better wipe that shit off your face before LaRosa comes down. Marco goes off to make the drinks as Harry wipes his face.CONTD: 10 MOE Harry, did you know today's my birthday? HARRY (of f-handedly) No kiddin'? Happy Birthday. MOE You didn't get me anything, did ya? HARRY Tell you what -- the egg-cream's on me, Marco returns with drinks and cannoli, Harry spots something over Moe's shoulder. HARRY Here comes another birthday present for ya -- Frankie the Fixer. Moe turns and cringes when he sees FRANK THE FIXER, a mashy~faced mobster about the size of a grand piano. MOE oh, no. Not him. HARRY Great, He's oozin' this way, the fat, miserable fuck. Although Harry and Moe are the only ones at the bar, THE FIXER sits right next to them and forces them to move. FRANK THE FIXER (to Marco) Gimme a Balboa and a beer! The Fixer rarely looks at people when he talks to them. HARRY (flooding with fake warmth) How are ya', Frank? Christ you're lookin" good. MOE We were just saying we don't see enough of you.9 conTD The Fixer ‘The Pixer The Fixer 1 FRANK THE FIXER You're exactiy what I'm lookin' for, Dickface. MOE That's Dickstein, PRANK THE FIXER Make yourself available this afternoon, Dickhead. HARRY Frankie, for you, it's his pleasure. moves away. Moe turns to Harry. MOE (annoyedly) What are you telling him it's my pleasure? I'l] tell him it's my pleasure. You know how much Yhate that fat fucking slob. HARRY. Then, tell him, You think I'm in love with the miserable bastard ... ? (as Frank appears) Frankie! God, I love ya'! You're lookin' terrific, I mean it. Heard you got your kid a ten speed bike. What a great Dad. ignores Harry completely then turns to Moe. FRANKIE THE PIXER Later, Dickface ... don't forget. picks up his Balboa and beer and heads for the back of the restaurant. Once he's safely away: MOE That's Dickstein ... Moby. HARRY Moby? Moby Dick ~~ the whale, right? Good one, Moe.10 12 INT. LAROSA'S CLAMBOX - BACK ROOM - DAY Lo FAVORING A STAIRWAY ANTHONY LAROSA, "reputed" Newark crime boss, comes down into the restaurant from upstairs. His tailor, an elderly, little Italian man follows him, pinning up a sport jacket which LaRosa wears. Greetings are exchanged. The tailor works on him throughout. Anthony LaRosa, a darkly handsome man in his mid-40's, is all style, a11 power, all menace. He has an air of treacherous elegance to hin, He is Bob Guccione on the best, most stylish day he will ever have in his entire lifetime, CAMERA FOLLOWS as LaRosa goes to take his place at the head of the table. THE TABLE LaRosa sits, takes out a cigarette, puts it in a black onyx holder, sticks it in his mouth and snaps his fingers. Santo Ravallo immediately pulls out a lighter and lights LaRosa's cigarette. Simultaneously Marco places an espresso in front of the Capo. It's obvious they've performed this ritual before. LAROSA Let's make this quick. I want to go home and change. Santo, we're increasing Judge Overton and Chief Barclay's monthly tallowance.' Make sure there's an extra thousand in each envelope when you deliver it today. SANTO No problem, Mr. LaRosa. LAROSA "New Shoes," what about that shipment of cigarettes from North Carolina? JOEY They're at the warehouse, Mr. LaRosa. Four truckloads. LAROSA, Excellent, Louie, any trouble with the collections? Louie nods "no." LAROSA (turns to Frank the Fixer) Fixer, Vinnie Testa is just not (MORE)10 13 contD 10 LAROSA (contd) listening to what we told him. He's not paying attention. FRANK THE FIXER That's not right, Mr. LaRosa. LAROSA No it isn't, Fixer, figure out some way of getting his ear. The Fixer lights up. LaRosa drinks his espresso, then rises. Harry and Moe move forward expectantly. HARRY You forgot me and Moe, Mr. LaRosa. LAROSA I never forget you and Moe, Harry. I always have plenty for you to do. Here. LaRosa takes a couple of pieces of paper out of his pocket. Harry and Moe approach, He hands them to Harry. HARRY (deflated) This is a grocery list and your ary cleaning. LAROSA Yeah. You don't think I'd trust these other gavones with that, do you? ‘The “gavones" chuckle in the b.g. Harry is fuming. MOE Happy to do it for you, Mr. LaRosa. As LaRosa rises, the tailor flutters around him with tapes, pins and chalk, LAROSA Moe, you're about a 40 regular -- right? Try this on. LaRosa hands Moe the jacket. MOE A jacket for me, Mr. LaRosa?10 nu 4 cONTD 10 Moe slips it on. It's a nice fit. LAROSA Now, walk down there. Lemme see how it looks in that light. Moe starts to walk toward the back of the restaurant. LaRosa points to Joey "New Shoes" who takes out a .45 automatic and aims it at Moe's back. Harry, frozen to the spot, tries to speak but can't. ANOTHER ANGLE OVER LaRosa's SHOULDER, including Moe, Joey pumps off six shots. The impact of the .45 slugs sends Moe spinning around like a top. WIDER ANGLE ‘The SOUND of the GUNSHOTS are still RINGING in the air. Gunsmoke hangs over the table. Moe slowly turns around, the look of an almost-dead man on his face, This matches the look on Harry's face. LAROSA, (surprised) Look at that, the jacket actually is bulletproof. (to tailor) I want a dozen. All different colors. Thanks, Moe. Moe is still in shock. LaRosa fishes some car keys out of his pocket, LAROSA Harry, start my car. HARRY Is it my turn again? MOE I just did the jacket. EXT. LAROSA'S CLAMBOX - MORNING By The door to LAROSA'S Clambox opens and everyone, including Moe, comes running out and jumps in their cars. Neighborsi 12 a3 15 CONTD 11 follow suit, leaving LaRosa’s car -~ a shiny, black Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham -- the only car left on the street. QUICK cUuTS as the entire neighborhood shuts down. Shopkeepers put up "closed" signs, then roll down corrugated steel garage-type doors. A child, bouncing a rubber ball, is yanked off the street by her mother, The ball continues to bounce. People in the neighborhood run into their houses and lock their doors. The school yard clears. HARRY stepping out of the restaurant, the car keys in hand. He stops and faces his adversary. HARRY'S POV - LAROSA'S CAR looking ominous as hell. NEW ANGLE The members of the gang, including Moe, come back from parking their cars and enter LaRosa's. Their faces are visible at the windows of the restaurant. INT, LAROSA'S CLAMBOX - MORNING 12 Bets are being placed. The car's winning. EXT. LAROSA'S CLAMBOX - CLOSE ON KEY ~ MORNING 13 which is being inserted into a car lock. QUICK CUTS of various sets of eyes -- either the gang members or the neighbors, watching Harry. THE CAR The key is turned in the lock. CLICK. It's open. No explosion, Harry slides into the car and inserts the key in the ignition. The car door stays open. Beads of sweat stand out on Harry's forehead and upper lip.14 15 16 1 16 INT. LAROSA'S CLAMBOX - MORNING 14 The entire gang is now positioned under the tables. EXT, LAROSA'S CLAMBOX/ INT. CAR - MORNING 1s Harry reaches over and turns the key, The car FIRES UP without exploding. VARIOUS REACTION SHOTS Of gang members or neighbors, either relieved or saddened that there was no explosion. EXT, LAROSA'S CLAMBOX - MORNING 16 A beaming Harry walks away from the car toward the restaurant, his hands held triumphantly over his head. Right before he reaches the restaurant, Moe exits to greet him. On that, the car EXPLODES, FIREBALLING into the air. Harry and Moe are knocked down by the blast. HARRY I hate this fucking job. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. HARRY AND MOE'S STREET - AFTERNOON 17 Harry and Moe, their coats singed from the explosion, walk down the street to Moe's house. MOE Well, there's a lot worse things we can be doing. At least we got lifetime jobs ... HARRY +++ unless we try to quit, MOE Wetre in a growth industry, Harry. Did you know organized crime's the fourth largest employer in the State of New Jersey? HARRY Interesting stats, Moe. MOE «++ We make decent money; we don't have to hurt anybody; and if (MORE)Ww 1s conTD 7 MOE (contd) anything happens to us, our families are taken care of. What else do we need? HARRY How "bout respectability. You think I like walkin’ around in a charred suit: havin’ to buy groceries for some guy whose car just blew up on me? When I'm fifty years old, maybe I want some guy buyin’ my groceries; havin’ my car blow up on him, okay? MOE Hey, you think you feel bad, today's my birthday and nobody remembered, Not you, not even my own mother. I'll'see you after lunch. Moe turns and starts to climb up stairs to his house. Harry follows Moe. MOE Where you goin'? HARRY I'm in the mood for some Jewish food today. INT. MOE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM/HALL - DAY 18 Harry and Moe enter and walk through the hall to the living room where they are greeted by a group of fifteen people all wearing party hats. Everyone yelis SURPRISE. Lil, Wanda, Harry,Jr., Marco Santucci and assorted neighbors are there. Harry and Moe get party hats. There's a lot of hugging and kissing. MOE (turns to Harry) Did you know about this? HARRY We've been plannin' it for weeks! Moe grabs Harry in a bear hug. The group starts singing Happy Birthday. In the middle of the song, Frank the Fixer enters and bulls his way through the happy crowd to Harry and Moe, He points at Moe and:18 18 conrD 18 FRANK THE FIXER A party, how nice ... move it, Dickface. LIL That's Dickstein! Morris, what's going on? MOE Never mind, Ma, Fixer, have some cake, The Fixer scoops up about a quarter of Moe's untouched birthday cake. Everyone watches in awe. Harry,Jr. turns to his Dad. HARRY ,JR. Give it to this chump, Dad. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM -- three in the back of the head! HARRY Shut up, will ya, Harry. Harry pushes his son away from The Fixer, who now turns to Moe. FRANK THE FIXER How come I wasn't invited to this party? MOE It's only a little get-together for the immediate family. With that another group of eight or ten enter the party shouting “Happy Birthday." The group includes Black people and an Oriental man, The Fixer points to the exit. FRANK THE FIXER out. The Fixer heads for the door. Moe looks at Harry with fear in his eyes and mouths “Come with me." Harry nods “yes" and follows The Fixer into the hallway. As Moe turns to his mother: MOE Ma, I gotta step out for a few minutes. Keep the party going, okay?1g 20 19 INT, MOE'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY 1 Harry stops The Fixer at the door. HARRY Frank, it's Moe's birthday. Let's get somebody else to do this errand. The Fixer gives Harry a look to kill. HARRY I didn't say a thing. The Fixer takes a big bite of cake, exits with Harry and Moe following. EXT, MOE'S HOUSE ~ DAY 20 The Fixer's immaculate Cadillac convertible, a classic, is double parked in the middle of the street blocking all traffic. When they reach the car The Fixer notices Harry is with them, FRANK THE FIXER Where the fuck you goin'? HARRY Can I come along for the ride? FRANK THE FIXER Why not? Two bodies ... one brain, dust keep your mouth shut. HARRY I promise I won't say a word! FRANK THE FIXER You'ze talkin’ too much already. The Fixer walks around the car, then turns back to Harry and Moe. FRANK THE FIXER Don't touch the chrome; don't touch the windows; don't touch the upholstery; don't touch nuthin'! The Fixer goes around to the driver's side while Harry and Moe, still wearing their birthday hats, start to get into the car.20 INT. CADDY - AFTERNOON The Fixer slides in, Harry and Moe are in the back seat. FRANK THE FIXER What do I look like, a fuckin’ chauffeur? MOE We kind of wanted to sit together. FRANK THE FIXER What are you two, joined at the hip? (looking at’ Moc) Get in front. And take off them stupid hats. Moe moves for the front seat. 21 © EXT, NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE ENTRANCE RAMP - AFTERNOON = 21 ‘The CADDY SCREAMS past us at seventy miles per hour, cutting off slews of cars. 22 EX, NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE/ INT. CAR - APTERNOON 22 PART PART MOE (petrified) Nice lane change, Frank. HARRY. (equally petrified) You know, I was thinkin' of buying a Caddy.’ Handles nice. 22A POV: SIGN TO THE MEADOWLANDS 22a 22 They spot a sign to the Meadowlands. 22 PART PAR? MOE Are we goin’ to the Meadowlands? FRANK THE FIXER That's right. Harry leans forward and spots a small leather bag filled with money. HARRY Jeez ... look at all this money. FRANK THE FIXER Close the bag!22 PART conTp No answer. 21 22 PART HOE Am I gonna place another bet for Mr. LaRosa? FRANK THE FIXER Hey, what is this? Twenty fuckin' questions? MOE But every time I bet for him he loses. Why don't you place the bet? FRANK THE FIXER I'm a little too well known down there. MoE You could disguise yourself FRANK THE FIXER Yeah? As what? HARRY (whispering to Moe) ‘The Time-Life Building? Moe starts to laugh, then tries to suppress it. PRANK THE FIXER (to Moe) What the fuck's the matter with you? MOE Frank, you did drag me out of my own birthday party. FRANK THE FIXER You and this birthday! What are you, a fuckin’ kid? MOE I'm just sentimental, that's all. HARRY Yeah, Frank. Ain't you ever been sentimental about anything? Another stupid question. FRANK THE PIXER Zell your little friend back there I'm gonna throw him outta this car (MORE)aes. “PART 23 24 25 26 22 CONTD 22 PART FRANK THE FIXER (contd) if he says one more word, Dickbrains. MOE Frank It's Dickstein. FRANK THE FIXER And your Jew ass is goin' out right after him, Dicknose. EXT. MEADOWLANDS CLUBHOUSE ENTRANCE - AFTERNOON 23 Moving at sixty miles per, the Caddy rips into the lot, SCREECHES, and steals a spot from another car. EXT, MEADOWLANDS CLUBHOUSE ENTRANCE/ INT. CAR ~ 24 AFTERNOON They lean forward from the momentum. Frank the Pixer hands Moe the pouch, FRANK THE FIXER There's ten grand here. There's a horse called 'Night Cap' - Number Two - running in the Second Race. Put the ten grand on Two in the Second Race. Now that shouldn't be too complicated, even for two stunads. Now get out! EXT, MEADOWLANDS CLUBHOUSE ENTRANCE - AFTERNOON 25 They walk to the track, tossing the bag back and forth. INT, MEADOWLANDS CLUBHOUSE ENTRANCE/ESCALATOR ~ DAY 26 The place is packed with moving crowds. Haxry and Moe come up the escalator and move into the main area. HARRY I think I'll buy a tip sheet. Harry does, Moe doesn't like the look of it. MOE What are you doing? HARRY I just wanna see what this ‘Night Cap' is running against.26 cont 23 26 MOE I don't think that concerns you. HARRY And I think it concerns me ver} much. "zwo in the Second Race What does that mean? MOB It means that Mr. LaRosa wants me to get his ten grand on that horse. That's what it means. HARRY It means LaRosa don't know shit about horses. Today it's the Eight horse in the Ninth Race. Last week he told you to bet on the grey horse because it was a grey day. On Christmas,.he bet on ‘Jingle Bells,' remember? He don't know what he's bettin' on. Moe, last four times you bet for LaRosa he lost, lost big. Moe snatches away the tip sheet. MOE Harry, stop it. You're making me very nervous. Harry pulls the tip sheet back. HARRY Now, here's a horse -- 'My Sweetheart.' I won four times with this horse. You and me made a killing with this horse at Belmont a year ago with Marco. MOE I was never at Belmont with you and Marco. HARRY Please don't interrupt me when I'm thinkin’, Moe. This is a voice from God, MOE This is the voice from the grave, LaFontaine. I don't believe what you're thinkin'!26 27 24 contD 26 HARRY Moe, we've got ten grand in our hands. Destiny is calling. This is part of the grand design. MOE Design this. I'm betting on Number Two. INT. MEADOWLANDS BETTING WINDOWS - AFTERNOON 27 Moe gets on line at the thousand dollar window. Harry directs Moe's attention to the tote board. ‘Night Cap’ is running 25 to 1, 'My Sweetheart’ at 5 to 1. HARRY Look at that. LaRosa's horse is never gonna win, Not now, not never, It's a fuckin' gluepot. 25 to 1 odds. It's off the board. MOE Don't you ever learn? There's no gettin’ through to you when you're like this. I love you, Harry, but face it -- you're a comptlsive gambler. HARRY (smiling) You wanna bet? MOE That's not funny! (beat) Have you forgotten whose money this is? This isn't just anybody's money. This is Tony LaRosa’s money. ‘The meanest, lowest mobster in Newark that has guys like you and me for breakfast. I can't believe you're serious. HARRY All right, forget the whole thing. The moment Moe relaxes, Harry snatches the bag and dashes for the men's room.28 25 INT. MEADOWLANDS MEN'S ROOM - AFTERNOON 28 Moe enters the crowded john and can't find Harry. Guys stand at the urinals. TOILETS FLUSH in stalls. The last stall door opens and Harry's face appears. Moe goes for the stall. Harry holds the open leather pouch filled with money over the john. HARRY I'll flush it! MOE Okay, okay, okay, okay. Whattaya want? HARRY Just hear me out. Moe enters the stall and locks it behind him. INT. STALL They are both crammed in together. HARRY Moe a chance like this doesn't come along too often. MOE That's right, a chance to get killed. HARRY Look, we both know that LaRosa's been losing his ass down here, right? MOE So? HARRY So, why should today be any different? We'll put this ten grand on 'My Sweetheart.' Runnin’ at five to one, we'll walk outta here with sixty grand. When the race is over, we'll go into a song and dance over how sad we are LaRosa lost again, and we'll tell the blimp we tore up the tickets in disgust. MOE I can't lie to The Fixer. He's a killer,28 conrD 26 28 HARRY Moe, you're always holding us back -- like the time in '68 when we could have gone to Vegas with Bobby DiLeo, You talked me out of it, remember? Bobby D. runs that town now. MOE So, go visit him, A plane leaves every hour. I'm sure you can get a package deal. HARRY That's the point I'm makin', Moe! No more package deals for us. With this sixty grand, we're flyin' first class all the way. You know you don't even have to pay for the head- sets in first class? MOE (interested) No kiddin’? HARRY And Moe, what about our dream? The first Italo-Judeo combination deli and restaurant. Ah, Moe, can't you just smell those big hunks of corned beef and cannoli? Knishes ... golden brown? raviolis ... sorta’ off-white. Breathe deep, Moe ... smell that? MOE What? HARRY My tomato sauce. MOE Harry, don't do this. You're always talking me into things that are no good for me, Don't talk me into this one because I know in my heart it's no good for me. HARRY This one is! Moe, for once in your life, open up, go for it!28 29 30 27 conTD 28 MOE I can't, HARRY Moe, we can't lose in this situation. If our horse loses, so what? We don't lose the ten grand! We lose Rothin'! We either don't lose, or we win! How can we lose? There's twelve horses runnin' in this race. LaRosa's horse is runnin’ at twenty-five to one. It ain't never gonna win. Let's put the ten grand on 'My Sweetheart’ to win. The armies of confusion take up residence in Moe's eyes. Harry moves in for the kill. HARRY Or do you wanna die in Newark? INT, MEADOWLANDS BETTING WINDOW - AFTERNOON 29 They enter the betting area. It's empty. Moe is jittery. He hesitates. Harry shoves him to the window. Harry looks up and spots a video camera recording the transaction. He ducks nervously as Moe steps up to place the bet. MOB I, ah, want to place a bet on ‘My Sweetheart,' ten times to win, Moe's mouth drops open as the tickets punch out of the machine. The money is gone. The bet has been placed. There's no turning back. Beads of sweat stand out on Moe's forehead. He turns to his friend Harry, who is nowhere to be seen. Moe is alone in the $1000 betting room. He starts for the door. INT, MEADOWLANDS BETTING WINDOW AREA - AFTERNOON 30 Moe emerges from the room to find Harry waiting. MOE Where the hell did you go? HARRY Oh, T, ah, wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes.28 30. conrD 30 MOE When did you start smoking again? HARRY About fifteen seconds ago. Moe fans out the ten tickets, Harry kisses them. MOE What's that for? HARRY Good luck, MOE I thought we didn't need luck. HARRY Ya always need luck. C'mon let's get a drink and watch the race. 31 INT. MEADOWLANDS CLUBHOUSE BAR - AFTERNOON 31 ¢.U, = TV MONITOR on which the race is televised. The horses parade to the starting gate as the odds run up underneath them. The odds for ‘Night Cap’ appear, still 25 to 1. Harry and Moe are seated at the crowded bar near a TV monitor. Drinks are placed before them. Harry lifts his glass in toast. Moe raises his glass. His hand is visibly shaking. HARRY Ya all right? MOE, Fine, fine. HARRY To my buddy and 'My Sweetheart.' They clink glasses. 'My Sweetheart! appears on the screen. The bar patrons cheer. Harry and Moe brighten up. HARRY We're gonna be okay. ANNOUNCER (VO) (over TV monitor) And they're off ... !29 conTD 31 Harry and Moe's attention is focused on the TV screen. ANNOUNCER (VO) ‘My Sweetheart! is off to an early lead. ‘Table Talk’ is second. ‘Gypsy’ is third. ‘Easy Money’ is fourth ... HARRY Look at that beautiful son of a bitch! Moe watches with awe. 'My Sweetheart’ is poetry in motion, ANNOUNCER (VO) ses and 'Night Cap' is last ... Harry and Moe laugh and pound the bar. ANNOUNCER (VO) Around the far turn, 'My Sweet- heart' ahead by three lengths. "Table Talk' second, 'Gypsy' third ‘My Sweetheart’ continues in front, ‘Night Cap’ stays in last. Moe laughs so hard he falls off the bar stool. MOE I don't believe this! I don't believe this! Harry helps Moe up. The two are getting all the attention in the bar. ANNOUNCER (VO) +s. Bnd "Night Cap' is last. Moe turns to the bar and starts screaming. MOE I got ten thousand dollars on this race! Ten thousand dollars on 'My Sweetheart!’ And she's my sweetheart! I didn't wanna do it! But he talked me into it. My best friend! Backed by several televisions all playing the horse race images in sync, Harry and Moe have the floor.31 cONTD 30 31 HARRY We're gonna take this money and open up the first combination Italo-Judeo restaurant and delicatessen! MOE And you're all invited to the grand opening, HARRY We'xe gonna have pasta, made fresh dail; MOE Home-made matzoh ball soup! HARRY Boar's Head cold cuts! MOE Lean corned beef! Crunchy sour pickles! HARRY, (hugging Moe) Goddammit, Moe, we did it! ANNOUNCER (VO) 'Night Cap" is now seventh and moving for sixth. ‘Night Cap’ is sixth. Still hugging, they both turn towards the monitor. HARRY Don't worry akout it. Don't worry about it. ANNOUNCER (VO) ‘Night Cap' is now in fifth place and moving for the fourth position. HARRY Uh-oh. MOE Uh-oh, what? HARRY Uh-ho.31 31 conTD 31 MOE What's going on, Harry? Moe squints at the set with a growing panic. He belts down his drink. 'Night Cap' keeps moving through the pack. HARRY (dazed) Oh, no. Why didn't I see it? Why didn't I see it? MOE See what? See what? HARRY That fat fuck! He did it. Why didn't I see it? Moe pounds on the bar and screams for 'My Sweetheart' to move, not wanting to accept it. MOE Come on, ‘My Sweetheart!' Come on, 'My Sweetheart!itt' HARRY (grabbing Moe) Moe, we gotta get outta here. MOE (resisting) No! Come on, 'My Sweetheart! ' You can do it! My life depends on itt ANNOUNCER (VO) ‘Night Cap' is now in second place, moving neck and neck with 'My Sweetheart!' It's 'My Sweetheart! and 'Night Cap.' ‘Night Cap’ and 'My Sweetheart.’ ‘Night Cap’ pulls ahead by a nose. Harry covers his face with his hands. Moe shrieks as the horses rip for the finish line. MOE No90990000000000000000!31 32 CONTD 31 The television set fills the screen, The horse race becomes overpowering. Almost terrifying. ‘Night Cap! pulls ahead at the wire. ANNOUNCER (VO) And the winner is ... ‘Night Cap!' MOE Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhpbh! tL Harry and Moe both panic. HARRY Oh, God! Oh, Jesus-Mary-and- Joseph! MOE We're dead! We're dead, I don't believe it. We're dead. Moe, dazed, starts to wander off. Harry stops him. HARRY Where you goin', Moe? MOE To Mr. LaRosa, so he can kill me, which is what I deserve. HARRY Get hold of yourself, Moe! MOE We are no longer alive! Do you understand that? We're not here anymore! You and your Italo- Judeo restaurant and deli bullshit! You did it again, Harry. HARRY Me! You're the one who listened tome. That's always been your problem, Moe. You know I don't know what I'm doing! You should protect me! Why do you always listen to me? Where's your mind? MOE (confused) What!? Why do I always listen to you? It's my fault for listening (MORE)31 32 33 33 cONTD 31 MOE (contd) to you?? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? It's not my fault, it's your fault! HARRY Who cares whose fault it is! Moe, we gotta move now! INT. MEADOWLANDS ~ ESCALATORS TO GROUND LEVEL - 32 AFTERNOON People are starting to move out of the track. Harry and Moe come down the packed escalator looking grim. They hit the ground floor. MOE What a nightmare. HARRY We gotta get past Frank the Fixer. Come on, this way. We'll catch a bus. They move for another exit and get in behind a group of people heading out the door, using them as a shield. INT./EXT. MEADOWLANDS CLUBHOUSE ENTRANCE - DAY 33 Moving off the escalator, they slam into Frank the Fixer who's eating several hot pretzels with mustard. HARRY /MOE (in unison) oh, Jesus Christ! HARRY Frankie! Where the hell were you? We were lookin' all over for you. FRANK THE FIXER Where're the tickets? HARRY Where are the tickets, Moe? (a beat) The tickets. The tickets. Moe slowly produces the 'My Sweetheart’ tickets. Harry takes them in a flash, opens Frank the Fixer's jacket