Topic 6.

Developing Concern for Others

Learning Outcomes:
At the end of the lesson, the students must be able to:
 Describe the concepts of empathy and compassion
 Analyze day-to-day actions involving empathy and compassion
 Appraise the synergy of the home and school in developing concern for others and
 Demonstrate empathy and compassion within and beyond the family in everyday life.
Introduction:
Michael Jackson popularized the song “Heal the World” and some lines run like this:
Heal the World
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people Dying
If you care enough for the living
Make it a better place
For you and for me.

The world needs people who are willing to help their fellowmen and heal the world
especially in this time of the pandemic. Imagine a world without Mother Teresa, St. Francis of
Assis, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Efren Penaflorida, Jr., Randy Halasan, and so many
others.
Imagine a world without the frontliners during the pandemic. Imagine a world without
the countless individuals who risked their own lives to save others during wartime. Imagine a
world without those who’ve run into the burning buildings or executed other heroic feats of
rescue during times of trauma. It’s unthinkable.
Empathy and compassion are very “in” concepts as the world becomes more and more
technologically advanced. People may have the tendency to engage in solitary activities and be
highly individualistic. These are not things of the past, instead they are relevant in modern
everyday life. After all, they have the power to inspire courageous deeds and can also
encourage all sorts of positive behaviors that have both individual and social benefits.

(Activity will be posted in the PowerPoint Presentation)

Abstraction:
Evolutionary biologists have shown that human beings are social animals who have naturally
evolved to care for each other. Psychology, as well, points out that we are primed for empathy
by strong attachment relationships in the first two years of life. As we grow older, we learn to
be sensitive to the presence and needs of other people. We nurture relationships but there are
times that we only look within our immediate sphere like our families but not easily beyond
such.
EMPATHY
Empathy is as the heart of what it means to be Human. The concept of empathy is used
to refer to a wide range of psychological capacities that are thought of as being central for
constituting humans as social creatures allowing us to know what other people are thinking and
feeling, to engage with them emotionally, to share their thoughts and feelings and to care for
their well-being.
Empathy is, therefore a broad concept that refers to the cognitive and emotional
reactions of an individual to the observed experiences of another. Having empathy increases
the likelihood of helping others and showing compassion. It is the ability to recognize,
understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another person, animal, or fictional
character. It’s being able to step into the shoes of other persons, aiming to understand their
feelings and perspectives, and to use that understanding to guide our actions. In the Philippine
setting, it can be roughly translated to pakikiramdam.
Empathy helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions and
intervene when we see others being bullied. It is vital in building successful interpersonal
relationships of all types, in the family unit, workplace, and beyond. Empathy helps us to
connect and help others, but like other traits, there is the danger that it may have evolved with
a selfish motive: using others as a “social antenna” to help detect danger.
There are three kinds of empathy according to the Daniel Goleman’s article entitled
“Three Kinds of Empathy.
1. Cognitive Empathy – this is simply knowing how the other person feels and what they
might be thinking. Sometimes called perspective-taking, this kind of empathy can help
in, say, a negotiation or in motivating people. Cognitive empathy, also knows as
empathic accuracy, involves having more complete and accurate knowledge about the
contents of another person’s mind, including how the person feels. Cognitive empathy is
more like a skill. Humans learn to recognize and understand other’s emotional state as a
way to process emotions and behavior.
2. Emotional Empathy – This happens when the person feels physically along with the
other person, as though their emotions were contagious. This emotional contagion,
social neuro science tells us, depends in large part on the mirror neuron system.
Emotional empathy makes someone well-attuned to another person’s inner emotional
world, a plus in any of a wide range of callings, from sales to nursing, for any parent or
lover.
Emotional Empathy includes three components:
A. The first is feeling the same emotion as another person
 B. The second is personal distress which refers to one’s own feelings of distress in
response to perceiving another’s plight:
C. The third emotional component is feeling compassion for another person.
3. Compassionate Empathy – With this kind of empathy we not only understand a person’s
predicament and feel with them, but are spontaneously moved to help, if needed.

How do we develop empathy?

There are two theories which neuroscientists explore to explain empathy. The first is the
Stimulation Theory. This theory proposes that empathy is possible because when we see
another person experiencing and emotion, we ‘simulate’ or represent that same emotion in
ourselves so we can know firsthand what it feels like. There is a biological component to this
theory as well. Scientists have discovered preliminary evidence of “mirror neurons” that fire
when humans observe and experience emotion. There are also parts of the brain in the medial
prefrontal cortex (responsible for higher-lever kinds of thought) that show overlap of activation
for both self-focused and other-focused thoughts and judgments.
The second theory is the Theory of the Mind. The theory of the mind is the ability to
“understand what another person is thinking and feeling based on rules for how one should
think or feel”. This theory suggests that humans can use cognitive though processes to explain
the mental state of others. By developing theories about human behavior, individuals can
predict or explain other’s actions, according to this theory.
While there might be differences in opinion, it is clear that empathy involves many
processes that would include automatic, emotional responses and learned conceptual
reasoning. The roots of empathy start to be planted at home and reinforced by the school.

Parents Raising Children with Empathy – the following are the five guideposts based on the
research and the wisdom of practitioners from the Making Caring Common Project of Harvard
University Graduate School of Education.

1. Empathize with your child and model empathy for others

Children learn empathy both from watching us and from experiencing our empathy for
them. When we empathize with our children, they develop trusting secure attachment with us.
Those attachments are key to their wanting to adopt our values and to model our behavior and
therefore to building their empathy for others.
Empathizing with our children takes many forms, including tuning in to their physical and
emotional needs, understanding and respecting their individual personalities, taking a genuine
them toward activities that reflect an understanding of the kind of people they are and the
things they enjoy.
 Children also learn empathy by watching those we notice and appreciate. They’ll notice how
we treat people from different walks of life. They’ll notice if we welcome a new family in our
child’s school or express concern about another child in class who is experiencing one challenge
or another.
Finally, it’s important for us to recognize what might be getting in the way of our
empathizing. Some parents may feel busted or stressed out. These should be taken into
consideration through self-awareness and self-care steps.
2. Make caring for others a priority and set high ethical expectations
If children are to value others’ perspectives and show compassion for them, it’s very
important that they hear from their parents that caring about others is a top priority, and that it
is just as important as their own happiness. Even though most parents say that raising caring
children is a top priority, often children aren’t hearing that message.
3. Provide opportunities for children to practice empathy
Children are born with the capacity for empathy, but it needs to be nurtured throughout
their lives. Learning empathy is in certain respects like learning a language or a sport. It requires
practice and guidance. Regularly considering other people’s perspectives and circumstances
helps make empathy a natural reflex and, through trial and error, helps children get better at
tuning into others’ feelings or perspectives.
4. Expand your child’s circle of concern
It is easy for us and the children to show empathy for family members, relatives, close
friends but the real issue is whether children (and adults) have empathy outside that circle. As
parents and caretakers, it’s not only important that we model appreciation. It’s important that
we guide children in understanding and caring for many kinds of people who are different from
them and who maybe facing challenges very different from their own challenges.
5. Help children develop self-control and manage feelings effectively.
Often when children don’t express empathy it’s not because they don’t have it. It’s because
some feeling or image is blocking their empathy. Often the ability to care for others is
overwhelmed for example by anger, shame, envy or other negative feelings. Helping children
manage these negative feelings as well as stereotypes and prejudices about others is often
what “releases” their empathy. Children who are of school age spend a good amount of their
time in the classroom. The school can do so much in nurturing a culture of empathy among its
learners.

Teachers raising children with Empathy

The Making Caring Common Project of Harvard University Graduate School of Education
likewise came up with research-based strategies to help educators promote a culture of
empathy within their schools. It has been found out that when young people are high in
empathy, they have more classroom engagement, higher academic achievement, better
communication skills, lower likelihood of bullying, less aggressive behaviors and emotional
disorders and have more positive relationships.

FIVE ESSENTIAL STEPS TO USE IN SCHOOLS

1. Model Empathy
It all starts with the teacher. When frustrated with learners, pause and take a deep
breath and try to see the situation from their perspective before responding. When a learner is
upset, reflect back his feelings or the rationale for his behavior before redirecting the behavior.
Be aware of learners’ non-verbal cues and follow up on them. For example, if a learner
is slumping in her chair and appearing withdrawn or angry, say something like “I noticed that
you are quieter than usual today. Is something bothering you?” rather than immediately
reprimanding her.
Ask for learner’s input when appropriate and feasible (for example, when establishing
classroom rules or generating ideas for group projects) – and really listen. Find opportunities to
incorporate their feedback and respond to their needs.
2. Teach What empathy is and why it matters
Clearly and concretely explain that empathy means understanding and caring about another
person’s feelings and taking action to help. Explain how it improves the classroom and school
community.
Stress the importance of noticing and having empathy for people beyond immediate
friends, including those who are different or who are too often invisible.
Give specific examples of how to act on empathy such as helping, showing kindness, or even
listening. Role playing, storytelling with lessons, and games inside the classroom can be helpful
strategies that children can relate with.
3. Practice
Create opportunities to practice taking another’s perspective and imagining what others are
thinking. Play charades and do role plays, read and discuss books and use “what would you do”
style vignettes or case studies.
Name the barriers to empathy, like stereotypes, stress, or fears of social consequences for
helping an unpopular peer. Share specific strategies to overcome them. For example,
encourage students to privately offer kind and supportive words to a student who was bullied.
Foster emotional and social skills, like dealing with anger and frustration and solving
conflicts. Teach specific routines for calming down and resolving disputes. Use advisories and
guidance and counseling to develop social and ethical skills.
4. Set Clear Expectations
 Be clear that you expect students to care about one another and the entire school
community. Don’t just put it in the mission statement or on a poster – talk about it, model it,
praise it and hold students to it.
Do an exercise with students to help them reflect on who is inside and outside of their
circle. Discuss why and how they can expand the circle of who they care about.
Establish specific guidelines for unacceptable language and behaviors. Ban slurs or hurtful
language like even when said ironically or in jest – and step in if you hear them. Encourage
students to think about why these words can be hurtful.
Enlist students in establishing rules and holding each other accountable. They will have a
sense of ownership of these rules. Use restorative justice practices and peer mediation when
conflicts arise.
5. Make School culture and climate a priority
Make an annual survey of learners’ and teachers’ feelings whether they feel safe, respected,
and cared about at school. Take time to examine the date and make efforts to address problem
areas identified by the learners and staff.
As children learn empathy skills with their classmates, those skills will transfer to their lives
in their community. The deeper relationships that result from strong empathy skills have the
potential to strengthen a community extend as far beyond the four walls of your classroom.
And when they develop empathy, they can exhibit compassion
The next value that is related with empathy is compassion.

COMPASSION
“If you want to know what compassion is, look into the eyes of a mother and father as
they cradle their sick and fevered child.” - Dalai Lama.
It was previously mentioned that when children develop empathy this can lead to
compassion. When you sympathize, you understand what the other person is feeling without
exactly feeling it but when you empathize you feel what the other person is feeling. The feeling
of empathy can trigger compassion and take action to relieve the suffering of another person.
Compassion is a relational process that involves noticing another person’s pain,
experiencing an emotional reaction to his or her pain, and acting in some way to help ease or
alleviate the pain (Kanov, et al., 2004). Compassion is usually aroused when someone sees
another person suffering and is motivated to help. Compassion in this respect is regarded as an
affective state defined by a subjective feeling. Compassion is something you can develop with
practice. This is pakikiramay among Filipinos. It involves two things: intention and action.
Intention is simply opening your heart to others while action is what you do about it.
 Compassion is from the Latin word passio which means to suffer with the prefix com
meaning together and thus to suffer together or to suffer with. Cassell (2009) reported the
following three requirements for compassion:
1. “that the troubles that evoke our feelings are serious”
2. “That the sufferers’ troubles not be self-inflicted – that they be the result of an unjust
fate,” and
3. “We must be able to picture ourselves in the same predicament”
On a similar vein, Kanov, et al. (2004) consider compassion to be comprised of three
interrelated elements which are:
1. Noticing – A critical first step is noticing another person’s suffering and becoming aware
of the pains s/he is feeling. Noticing often requires an openness and receptivity to what
is going on in those around us, paying attention to others’ emotion, and reading subtle
cues in our daily interactions with them. Noticing may come in the form of a cognitive
recognition of another person’s suffering or may be first experienced through an
unconscious physical or emotional reaction to the person’s distress.
2. Feeling – Compassion is a social emotion because it is inherently other-regarding. It
means to suffer with the person. The feelings may be more or less intense, can last over
a long period of time or be experienced briefly. The feelings of compassion may also
vary in form; either of a simple nature by simply feeling concern for another or a mix of
more complex set of emotions.
3. Responding - This is the element that refers to any action or display that occurs in
response to another person's pain or helping the sufferer live through it. Compassionate
responding doesn't exactly mean that the immediate causes of someone's suffering may
be right away fixed or corrected. For example, holding someone's hand while listening
to her story taking care of a terminally ill parent can be just as compassionate as when
giving money to someone who needs it for a medical emergency.

As such, compassion is not an automatic comprised of response to another's

plight; it is a response that occurs only when the situation is first step is perceived as
serious, unjust and relatable.
It requires a certain level of awareness, concern and empathy.
Compassion Deficit Disorder
What is compassion deficit disorder? It is the child's tendency to act without empathy or
regard for others. Diane Levin, a Boston professor of early childhood education, introduced the
concept of compassion deficit disorder which seems to be displayed by children especially of
the young generation. How does Diane Levin explain compassion deficit disorder? What are its
causes?
According to her, the compassion deficit disorder can be attributed to:
1. Children are spending increasing amounts of time with more and more technology and
screen exposure at a young and younger age. This results in their lack of opportunity to develop
social skills.
2. Children's exposure to violent and anti-social models can teach them anti-social lessons that
they bring to their relationships.
3. Children play with toys that are realistic replicas of what they see on screen. These toys can
trigger children to imitate what they saw on television rather than encouraging them to engage
in the rich, creative play of childhood.
4. Many families are experiencing stress that they resort to the screen or technology to occupy
their children and would need not spend a lot of time watching over them. They become
occupied with what they watch, behave and pose no bother at all.
5. There are also instances that parent’s structure too much what they want their children to
engage in. These pre- vents the child to organize or learn to organize activities that can enhance
interactions with other children.