Step 4 – 173 Questions

Step Four: "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

Considerations and Suggestions for the H.O.W. Fourth Step Inventory

(VSB note, updated October 2017: These questions are being offered for historical reference and use. Continued study of the Big
Book of Alcoholics Anonymous enlightens us to move through the Steps quickly, as though our hair is on fire.)

First, read what the Big Book and The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions have to
say about taking the fourth step. As well, reading other publications my help you
understand about "...a fearless moral inventory."

Remember, this H.O.W. Fourth Step Inventory is only one of many fourth step
options; this is just a suggestion. Other sets of questions are available. The Big
Book offers an approach. Investigate the several alternatives if you wish. But try
not to use your search as reason for procrastinating.

Consider asking another OA who has completed their fourth step to sponsor you.
They are an excellent source for information, suggestions and encouragement.
Making a daily or weekly commitment to your sponsor may help you keep on
track and avoid "fourth step procrastination." It isn't necessary for you to share
your inventory writing with your fourth step sponsor. You may, of course, select
an entirely different person to listen to your sharing when you take step five.

You will be writing your inventory. You'll need pen or pencil and paper, or
perhaps, a computer or word processor. Eventually, you will be telling your
inventory to another person. In the meantime, take the necessary precautions to
safeguard your writing from unintentional readers.

There are, no doubt, some questions contained in this inventory that don't apply
to you. Just go on to the next question. Some of your answers will be quite
lengthy, others short. Remember, the goal is to be thorough and honest. Later, if
you should think of a response to an earlier question, just write your answer
where you're at; you may lose your thought if you start shuffling through papers
to find the "right place."

Those who are adopted or otherwise estranged from their biological parents
should consider references to "parent" to mean their "primary care giver."

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Try not to rework your responses to questions. When you recall pertinent
information related to a previous question, incorporate your recollection as an
additional comment in the current question.

Respond to questions honestly, openly and willingly; try not to limit or temper
your answers for the benefit of the person who will hear your fifth step.

You need not be concerned with the appearance of your document; it's for your
eyes only. Remember you're going to read it when you take the fifth step.

Because of the thoroughness and length of the H.O.W. Fourth Step Inventory, you
will probably not attempt to complete the entire inventory in a single session.
Make a daily commitment to write a portion of your inventory. You may wish to
note the current date at the end of each writing session. If you discover
prolonged holdups between sessions, you may wish to reflect on and write about
your reason for the delay.

There isn't a set time limit on beginning and completing your fourth step. The
taking of the Twelve Steps is an ongoing process; step four is an integral part of
that process. Many opt for a long period of time; some set a goal to complete the
task within ninety days.

The program makes us twelve promises; they're listed on page 83 in the Big Book.
The joy we experience in the attainment and realization of those promises
exceeds by far the pain and fear we may experience in step four. The major
stumbling block is getting started.

JUST DO IT!

As you begin each writing session, pray for the knowledge of God's will and the
power to carry it out.

CHILDHOOD

1. What kind of relationship did your mother have with her parents?

2. What kind of relationship did your father have with his parents?

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3. Did your parents want you when you were born? Describe the circumstances
of your family at the time of your birth. For example: Family size, Age
differences, Financial status, etc.) Was there laughter, arguments,
depression? Were there other relatives of people living with you?

4. Describe what you think your family thought of you.

5. Where were you in the birth order of your brothers and sisters? How did you
feel about the others?

6. Were either of your parents sick enough to need hospitalization? What was
your reaction?

7. Were you ever separated from any important family member? Was there
fear or guilt associated with the separation? Did you feel responsible?

8. Were you threatened by the "bogey man," or the devil if you misbehaved?
What were your fears?

9. Sometimes children feel guilty about normal sexual curiosity (self-

exploration, masturbation, playing doctor, etc.) Parents may tell children
that their sexual feelings are evil and must be punished. Reared in this type
of environment, children may develop a distorted view of their sexuality and
sexual behavior. Discuss your childhood experiences that cause uneasy
feelings about sex.

10. Were you afraid of the dark?

11. Were you afraid to fight? Were you afraid not to fight because of pressure
from your parents, siblings or others?

12. How did your parents punish you? Was it emotional or was it physical?

13. How did you react to punishment?

14. What kind of marriage did your parents have?

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15. If your parents fought, did you resent it? Did the fighting scare you? Did you
attempt to break up their fights? Did you take sides?

16. Were your parents so close to each other that you felt left out?

17. If your parents held different religious beliefs, was that confusing to you?

18. Were you afraid of storms?

19. List all the feelings of guilt, resentment and fear you had toward other
people (as a child, not now).

20. Describe the first time you can remember stealing. Describe other times you
can remember.

21. Were you ever molested as a child? In other words, touched sexually in any
way by another person? What were your feelings about this (these)
experience(s)?

22. Did you participate in or observe other sexual behavior, heterosexual or

homosexual activities, bestiality, sodomy or anything else that may have
upset you? Write about those feelings.

23. How old were you when you first masturbated? Were you ever caught and
made to feel guilty? Did you feel guilty even though you weren't caught?

24. If you were named after someone, what was that person like?

25. Did your family move often? If so, did you make friends and then have to
break-off the relationship so often that you became afraid to get too close?

26. Do you remember starting school? How did you feel? Reflect on each
succeeding grade level. Discuss your embarrassments, painful feelings and
resentments related to your teachers and classmates. Did you resent your
church, relative, parents' friends, parents?

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27. What kind of language did your parents use? Were you ashamed of their
behavior?

28. Did you ever see your parents or other adults in the nude? How did you
feel?

29. Did you ever observe or hear your parents having sex? How did you feel?

30. Most children have household chore assignment. What were yours? Did you
think they were fair? Could you do them to please your parents?

31. Did your parents seem to like your friends better than they liked you? Did
your friends seem to like your parents better than they liked you? If so, did
you resent it?

32. Did you have any bad experiences at Sunday School or summer camp?

33. Are you an only child? Do you resent it or enjoy it? Did your parents want a
child of the opposite sex when you were born? Did they name you or dress
you to match their preference?

34. Did your appearance (looks, clothes, etc.) embarrass you? Did you feel
"different" from your classmates or friends?

35. Write about any other childhood memories that were painful.

36. Which of these questions about your childhood was the toughest for you to
answer? Do you know why? Write about it.

ADOLESCENCE

37. Children and young adolescents sometimes experience homosexual episodes

with each other. While the child may not be homosexual, pleasure may lead
a child to repeat the experience. Subsequent fears of homosexuality may
suppress other natural desires. Reliance on misguided or erroneous sexual
information, as well, may contribute to confused behavior. What are your

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experiences and feelings of fear and guilt about these statements as they
may apply to you?

38. Experimenting with sex is part of the human experience. The expression of
homosexual feelings is one aspect of this. For some, this indicates a definite
orientation. If this is true for you, how does it compare to what you were
taught was normal? Did it effect your relationship with your family, your
friends or any others? Were you accepted or rejected by them? What are
your own feelings about your sexual orientation?

39. Emotional distress may develop because of adolescent sexual episodes with
an adult, or premature sexuality with another adolescent, because of peer
pressure, and the desire to please. Later, the distress may manifest itself in
anger, guilt, and disappointment, preventing normal sexual and emotional
expression. Guilt may be inhibiting communication. Write about your
experiences.

40. Some girls learn that men are only interested in one thing -- sex. Some boys
accept the idea that they must always know exactly what they are doing and
be the greatest all the time. Such attitudes can be destructive. What did you
learn? How has that affected you?

41. Did you have friends? What kind of friend were you?

42. What were your special interests in school? Did you participate in extra-
curricular activities? Did you participate in sports? What were the reasons
for your participation, or lack of it?

43. Were you considered a troublemaker? Were you a troublemaker? In what

way?

44. Did you resent your school's student leaders? Why? Did you resent not
being the most attractive person at school? Why?

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45. Did you consider yourself a coward because you didn't want to fight? Did
you like to fight? Were you a bully? Were you embarrassed because others
made fun of you or avoided you?

46. Children develop physically at different rates. Did you feel inadequate or
superior to other children?

47. Did you resent not being part of the crowd, not being a leader, or not being
part of the "IN" group? Were you shy or outgoing? Was there a particular
type of person that intimidated you or made you feel shy?

48. If you dropped out of school, describe the reasons and how you felt. Did
anything happen to you in high school that is a continuing source of shame?

49. Did your parents compare you to others, family members or friends? Did you
resent them for wanting you to be like someone else?

50. How did you get attention from your family? Did you pout, sulk, behave,
have temper tantrums, act like a dummy?

51. What kind of lies did you tell? How did you feel when you were caught
telling a lie?

52. During your adolescence, what incident was the most embarrassing? Are
there other embarrassing incidents?

53. Were you jealous or envious of others?

54. We "catch" attitudes. If your family discounted or "put down" sexual

feelings, there is a possibility you may now feel guilty about some of your
sexual feelings. Men may have performance anxiety if they were reared with
an excessive emphasis on achievement. A woman may dislike her body or
distrust her feelings if she learned that it's not OK to feel sexy. These
attitudes may cause sexual frustrations. Did you "catch" any of these
attitudes?

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55. How did you feel about your first sexual intercourse? Did you feel guilty?
Were you disappointed? Be specific about your feelings.

56. Describe any sexual fantasies you regret or have felt guilt or shame about.
Don't dwell on with whom, when, or how often. Instead reflect on how you
felt about the experiences.

57. Did you get someone pregnant, or become pregnant? What did you do?
How did you feel?

58. Were you ashamed of your parents? Were they too old, too fat, too sloppy,
too drunk, too rich, too poor, too ... whatever?

59. Did you have the kind of clothes that other kids wore? Was there enough
money for the things you needed? If not, were you resentful? If so, did you
take too much for granted? Did you feel your siblings got more than you
did? Describe your feelings as an adolescent about money.

60. Would you want your children to be like the child you were?

61. Were you a thief?

62. Were you ever "double promoted?" If so, did you have trouble catching up
emotionally? How did you act? Did you feel uncomfortable because you
were younger than other students?

63. Did you feel uncomfortable because you were superior or inferior in some
way to other students?

64. Were you dependable as a friend? Did you end relationships without
explanation when something or someone better came along?

65. Did you ever pit one member of your family against another? Write about it.

66. What was the best adolescent experience you had?

67. What was the worst experience?

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68. Review those questions in this section that caused uncomfortable feelings. If
something is still bothering you, write about it.

ADULTHOOD

69. Has your selfish pursuit of sexual relationships damaged you or others?
Discuss each occurrence. Who was hurt? How badly? Did you jeopardize
your marriage, your relationship with your children, your job, or your
standing in the community?

70. How did you react to the situation described in the previous question? Do
you feel guilty? Or, did you absolve yourself by insisting you were the
pursued, not the pursuer?

71. Have you been sexually frustrated? Describe your reaction. Were you
depressed? Did you become vengeful? How did you vent your frustrations?

72. If you've been sexually rejected at home, have you used that rejection as
justification for an affair? Lonely people may become involved in an affair,
mistaking sex for love. When it's over the feelings of loneliness may be even
more intense. Is this your experience? Discuss each occurrence and how do
you feel now?

73. Have you ever been sexual with a child or had fantasies about having sex
with a child? If so, discuss each occurrence.

74. Are you married to a "cold" unloving person? Is that your justification for
seeking new romances? Are (were) your parents "cold" and unloving? Are
you getting even with them through your spouse?

75. Why did you get married? Or, why haven't you married? Discuss the
reasons.

76. Did you marry earlier or later than your peer group?

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77. Do you resent the responsibilities of marriage and family?

78. If you're married, do you allow other family members to come between you
and your spouse?

79. Are you still your parents' "baby?" Do you take advantage of it?

80. Have your parents gotten you out of trouble even though you should have
been able to handle it yourself?

81. Are you a "baby" to your spouse?

82. Do you write bad checks?

83. Do you feel the world owes you a living?

84. Do you gossip? Is so, do you know why?

85. Are laws for other people? Do you make up rules to suit your needs?

86. List the top ten people on your "revenge list." Why are they on the list?

87. Discuss your feelings about: sex; parents; siblings; grandparents; friends;
your children; your spouse; your intimate friends; your job; your finances;
your marital status; being a compulsive overeater. What are your hopes and
goals?

88. How much time do you spend with your family? At your job? With OA?

89. What is your greatest fear?

90. Do you use sex as a punishment? A reward? How's your sex life? Is it the
way you want it to be? What would you change? Are you considerate of
your partners' feelings? Discuss your ideal healthy sex life.

91. Discuss any sexual experiences about which you have especially bad feelings.

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92. Do you use sex as an ego builder? Do you consider your sexual experiences
as "conquests?"

93. Are you afraid of being sexually rejected?

94. Are you ashamed of your body or your appearance? What do you think is
wrong with how you look?

95. What do you like about your body and your appearance?

96. Are you ashamed of yourself? Why? About what?

97. Do you use people to get what you want? Do you "put down" others so you
can feel superior? Do you step on others, socially or professionally, on the
"way to the top?"

98. Are you a thief? What have you stolen (don't forget your employers' time
and others' feelings)?

99. Do you use illness as an excuse to shirk your responsibilities, to gain

attention, to seek sympathy, or to escape from a difficult situation? Is there
a pattern to your illnesses?

100. Discuss your resentments toward your employer, supervisor and co-workers.
Are you jealous of them?

101. Do you resent those co-workers that are paid more or have more authority
than you?

102. On the job, are you careless or indifferent? Do you think you should be the
boss? Now that you're thinner, do you feel others expect more (too much)
of you?

103. Are you divorced? Discuss your negative feelings about the divorce and the
people involved. Discuss your feelings (resentments, fears, guilt, etc.) about

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your former spouse and your children. Have you asked you children to
choose which parent they love the best?

104. Are you married? Discuss how you feel about your spouse and children. Are
they living up to your expectations?

105. What are your expectations? Do you feel they are reasonable or
unreasonable?

106. Would you be different if your spouse and children were out of your life?
Why?

107. Do you feel that no one really understands you? (If they only knew ... they
wouldn't expect so much.)

108. Do you feel different or apart from other OA members?

109. Do you feel superior or inferior to other OAs?

110. Do you avoid looking honestly at yourself? Do you see yourself in the
following statements: "At least I'm not as bad as that person;" "At least I'm
not that color;" "At least I'm not that flaky."

111. Do you judge or ridicule those who appear to be less capable -- mentally,
physically, morally -- than you think you are?

112. Do you compare yourself to others? Do you emotionally beat up yourself

because others seem to have more recovery than you; because others have
talents or skills that you don't?

113. The only person you can realistically compare yourself to is you. How are
you now compared to last week, last month, last year, since your first OA
meeting?

114. List every deed or secret you swore that you would take to the grave without
telling anyone. Be honest, open and willing. Remember, you have good and
bad experiences. Some of your acts, even those of which you are very

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ashamed, may have generated positive growth in your life. Freedom comes
when you let go of the past.

115. Do you fear rejection? Are you afraid of getting too close to another person?

116. Do you reject others before they can reject you?

117. How do you define love? Do you love? Are you loved?

118. Are you a responsible person? In what ways?

119. What are your fears concerning money? Are you a tightwad? Are you a
mindless spender?

120. Is your personal appearance careless or prideful?

121. Do you judge others by their appearance?

122. What things make you feel greedy, envious, angry?

123. Are you scornful of ideas that aren't yours?

124. Do you tell others how bad you are or have been? Why? Do you tell people
how great you are or have been? Why?

125. Discuss how you feel now about your parents, brothers, sisters, and other
family members.

126. What resentments do you still have?

127. What makes you feel guilty?

128. Do you pad your expense account and/or your household budget so that you
can spend the money on something for yourself?

129. Do you resent another OA member? Who? Why?

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130. What do you lie about most frequently? To whom?

131. Do you like to play the "Big Shot?" Why?

132. Do you feel hurt when others won't play your games?

133. Do you resent not getting as much attention now as you did when you were
new in OA? Do you get more attention than you want?

134. Do you encourage platonic associations with other OAs? Do you nurture
more intense relationships that may lead to their or your relapse? Discuss
your experience.

135. Do you take advantage of other OAs to indulge your sexual gratification?
Does this behavior cause you to feel guilty?

136. About what do you worry the most? Do you worry about the future? The
past?

137. Do you punish your children the way your parents punished you?

138. Have you been too busy to spend time with your family? How much time do
you spend with your family?

139. Do you give your family everything they want? Do they ever seem satisfied?

140. Are you trying to build your own ego?

141. When your spouse turns cold, do you spend more time with him or her, or do
you turn to someone else who is more "understanding?"

142. Do you spend too much time at OA?

143. Do you spend at least one night per week with just your family?

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144. Is your family situation so intolerable that you depend on OA members to

give you positive strokes?

145. Do you feel you have to prove you are worthy of love? Write about it.

146. Are you cold and indifferent to your own needs, or the needs of family,
friends, and work?

147. Do you feel guilty for putting people through so much hell?

148. Do you threaten to forsake your abstinence if you don't get your way?

149. Are you involved in a sexual affair that could cause harm to you or others?

150. Do you argue? Is it important to be "right?" Do you get angry when others
disagree with you? Does it have to be your way ... all the time?

151. Do you gossip? Do you fabricate tales about others?

152. Is your spirituality superior to others'? Is your Higher Power "bigger and
better" or not as good as somebody else's? Why?

153. Do you feel guilty about masturbation?

154. Discuss your feelings of superiority. Do you feel superior because of

education, money, intelligence, race, nationality, ethnicity, affluence,
vocation?

155. List your feelings of inferiority. Do you feel inferior because you have less of
any of the above?

156. Do you feel superior to most people? Discuss why you feel different.

157. Do you feel inferior to most people? Discuss why you feel different.

158. Do you have difficulty being on time? Why?

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159. Do you resent others who seem to have found happiness?

160. Do you judge the outside of others by the inside of you?

161. Have you ever asked a happy person how they got that way?

162. Are you envious of people who can eat food that you can't?

163. Are you hostile because you don't like the hand life's dealt you?

164. Discuss your present fears.

165. How do you get attention? By pouting, sulking, temper tantrums, being extra
good and letting the world know it, playing stupid, frustrating others,
complaining so that everyone knows how bad you feel, etc.?

166. Are you financially unstable? What character defects contribute to your
financial instability? Has compulsive overeating contributed to this?

167. Have feelings of fear and inferiority about your job qualifications destroyed
your confidence and/or caused conflict?

168. Do you compensate for your feelings of inadequacy by bluffing, cheating,

lying, or avoiding responsibility; by complaining that others have failed to
recognize your truly exceptional abilities?

169. Do you have an inflated ego? Do you play the "Big Shot?"

170. Have you ever double-crossed or undercut your associates?

171. Are you extravagant? Do you recklessly borrow money without thought of
repayment? Are you miserly, refusing to properly support your family? Do
you cut financial corners? Do you invest in quick money deals, "sure things?"
Do you spend compulsively?

172. Have any of these questions triggered feelings about something that hasn't
been covered? Write about it.

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173. How would you describe your present state of life? What are your hopes,
goals and dreams?

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