Gamblers Anonymous

England, Wales & Ulster

Towards the First

90 Days

Some words of wisdom for the recovering

compulsive gambler during their first weeks
in Gamblers Anonymous

www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk
Introduction
In coming to GA, genuinely seeking help, you have
probably taken the most important step of your life
up to this point.
This booklet is designed to help you through your
early days in the Fellowship. In the pages following,
you will find practical advice that has been tried
and tested down the years by many, many
compulsive gamblers.
All we ask of you is that you keep an open mind
when you read through the pages of this booklet.
Up to this point, your life (if you are like us) has
been unmanageable, directed by your uncontrollable
urge to gamble. The pattern your life has been
following can only have the following disastrous
outcome:
Misery, heartbreak and financial drain for you and
those closest to you.
The GA way of life will obviously be very different
to you. It may even frighten you, but, we can
assure you, the GA way of life has the following
encouraging outcome:
Happiness, peace of mind and self-respect.

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All that is required is an open mind and a genuine
desire to stay away from your next bet, one day at
a time.
We welcome you to GA and please, please, if there
is anything you don’t understand, ask someone
to explain.
You are no longer alone.
Accept the hand of friendship.

Listen and learn

When we first arrive at Gamblers Anonymous, we
believe that our main problem is the financial mess
we are in.
We know that it is caused by our gambling, and
we also know that finance, or lack of it, is causing
problems in other departments of our lives.
Because of this thinking, we tend to believe, that
clearing up the financial mess is all we
need to do.
Alas, this is not the case.

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Marvellous though it may be to put our finances in
order, this has often proved to be the easiest problem
to deal with, provided we are honest with ourselves
and our creditors.
Experience has shown that by the time a new
member arrives at GA, he or she has picked up a
number of character defects.
For example, it is virtually impossible to gamble
compulsively without lying or stealing, or avoiding
reality and escaping into a dreamworld. We have
found that stopping gambling does not automatically
rid us of these defects.
How do we rid ourselves of these defects?
First, we must be aware of them, and this requires:

Honesty
With ourselves and with the meetings we attend. This
is not an easy task and can be painful, but with the
help of our meetings and, if possible,
a sponsor, it can be achieved in time.

Learning to listen
We need to have an open mind when we listen to
advice, even if it is not directly for us.

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An open mind
Will make us aware if the advice applies to us.

Willingness
To apply and act on the advice and make the changes
that will be asked of us.
By learning to listen about how other compulsive
gamblers have coped with problems on their road to
recovery, we can learn to cope with the problems we
will undoubtedly face on our own road to recovery.

Understand and apply the

Twelve Step Recovery Programme
When compulsive gamblers read The Twelve Steps
of Recovery for the first time, their reactions may
be very negative: “It’s an impossible task”; “I don’t
need to do all of these 12 Steps”; and some don’t
understand what is being asked of them, so they put
them to one side.
If this is your reaction, do not panic: there is no time
limit on The Twelve Steps. There is plenty of time: in
fact, you have the rest of your life.
We believe that Step One (“We admitted we were
powerless over gambling, that our lives had become

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unmanageable”) is virtually a pre-condition for
all the rest. Unless we can admit and accept that
gambling has us licked, that there is no way we can
beat it. We will be forever fighting and losing.
The acceptance of Step One might just keep us
free of gambling on its own, but that is not the GA
way. Our predecessors added the other 11 Steps,
which enable us to live a normal, decent life and play
our part in society.
Most meetings spend some time discussing
various parts of the GA Handbook, usually relating
to these Steps. Try to keep an open mind during
these discussions.
There is a tremendous amount of knowledge and
wisdom in GA rooms and it is freely available to all.
If there is something you don’t understand, or a Step
you don’t know how to apply in your life, ask any
member who has been around a while. He or she
will be delighted to help you.
Trying to apply The Twelve Steps of Recovery to your
life can be a beautiful thing and the rewards are many.
It will enable you to know yourself better.
It will set you at peace with yourself and fellow
human beings.
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It will bring you serenity and allow you to manage
your life with some dignity, self-respect and the love
of your fellow man.

We cannot do it alone
We allow ourselves to be aware of a higher power.
We do not mean that we all believe in God.
We accept that we cannot beat the gambling bug
with willpower alone.
Taking the advice in this booklet will require inner
strength and will gain you inner peace. By changing
yourself into a better person, by behaving with
generosity, honesty, tolerance and humility, you
may find some power outside of yourself to help
in this task.
You do not need to identify your higher power:
just keep an open mind.

Stay away from the first bet – one day at a

time
Stopping gambling is quite simple: do not place
a bet. Simple, yes, but not easy for a compulsive
gambler.

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When suffering gamblers arrive at GA, the thought of
never ever placing another bet is unthinkable to them.
Until now, their hopes and dreams have been
dependent on the big win. Now these hopes and
dreams are being taken away.
GA teaches us that we should try to live our lives,
one day at a time.
So it follows that we are only required to stay away
from the first bet, one day at a time.
We should not worry unduly about tomorrow or next
week or next year.
We can only live in the present.
Today is all we have.
We have to realise that we can do nothing about
yesterday or tomorrow, but, if we have a good today,
we will be a little stronger tomorrow.
As the days free from gambling add up, and we try to
apply The Twelve Steps of Recovery in our lives, the
urge to gamble will lessen.
Nevertheless, we should always be on our guard and
try to be aware of any backsliding into old habits, any
signs of complacency, any thoughts that may come

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into our heads that “gambling wasn’t all that bad”,
that “maybe we are cured or maybe we were not
compulsive at all – just unlucky.”
These thoughts are all symptoms of our illness and can
lead us back to the miseries we have tried so
hard to put behind us.
These thoughts are not just dangerous to new
members; they are equally deadly to any member,
no matter how long they have been free from
gambling.
Remember, the distance from our last bet may get longer
and longer, but the distance to our next bet always
remains the same: we are all one bet away from disaster.
If we don’t make the first bet, we won‘t make the
second.
So, in the morning, if we say “I will not place a bet
today”, and make it a good day, there is every chance
we will be able to say it again tomorrow.

Stop living in the past

Many compulsive gamblers struggle in the early
days of their recovery, through looking back to their
past life, burdening themselves with guilt, remorse,
money they have lost, opportunities they have
missed, or lack of progress at work.
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Our experience has shown that, if we are to recover,
these things must be left in the past and we must
move on.

Guilt and remorse

They can cripple us. They are very close to self-pity.
We must strive to replace them with the acceptance of
responsibility and to make amends where we can.

Money lost
We must accept that the money has gone.
We have already spent some considerable time and
money trying to get it back, with no success.
All we have achieved is more misery and more pain.

Opportunities missed
If we come to accept that it is always better to have
a normal, balanced lifestyle, we will have more
opportunities and, if we are free from gambling and
living a useful life, we will be able to take advantage
of them when they occur.
The old ones are gone; look forward to the new ones.

Lack of progress at work

This depends a lot on the age and abilities of the member;
however, anyone can become a better employee.
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Probably for the first time in years, we are able to
concentrate on what our employer asks us to do.
We can channel the energy we previously used for
gambling into our daily tasks, then leave the rest to
our own higher power.
To sum up, our experience has shown us that, if we
care to embark on a new life, free from gambling
and all the problems and misery that gambling
generates, then we must close the book on the life
we are leaving behind.

Fill the void

We are a few days or weeks free from gambling.
Life has stopped getting worse.
We are filled with hope and gratitude.
Suddenly we find a huge hole in our lives – what do
we do with the time that once was taken up by our
gambling obsession?
In the early days, few compulsive gamblers have
a clear picture of how much of their time was spent
on gambling.
Most can tell stories about the time spent in betting
shops, casinos or in front of a one-armed bandit,
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but this usually represents only a part of their
gambling life.
There is also the time spent in pursuit of money to
feed the gambling, the sleepless nights trying to
concoct lies either to get money or to explain where
money has gone.
Lies to our employer as to why we were missing
or why a job wasn’t completed.
Lies to our partners as to our whereabouts.
In fact, gambling dominated almost all of our
waking lives.
Now we must fill this void.
Each member should try to find a way that suits
them best, but it is essential that they do find a way.
Some take up long-forgotten hobbies.
Some return to a sport in which they once had an
interest.
Some resume education (this is something that can
be done at any age).
We would also suggest that some time is allocated to
rebuilding family life or rebuilding relationships with
friends and relatives who may have suffered
due to our gambling.
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These are just a few suggestions.
We hope each member will make their own efforts
to fill the void and, in doing so, will sustain and
enhance their recovery.

Enjoy it
Recovery from compulsive gambling is a wonderful
miracle and every member’s recovery is a unique
and personal experience.
The surest way to have a good and lasting recovery
is to learn to enjoy it.
This may seem like stating the obvious but there are
obstacles which, if we are not aware of them, can
prevent us enjoying our miracle.

Guilt
When life starts to improve for us, we sometimes let
our minds wander to past misdeeds and, if we allow
ourselves to dwell on these too long, we begin to
think that we do not deserve to recover, and these
thoughts, if not spoken about, can have tragic results.

Resentment
When we first come to GA, it is suggested that we
make some very radical changes to our behaviour.
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Some we think are impossible, unnecessary, or we
just don’t want to do them.
However, in the early days we tried them, they worked,
and we quickly gained time free from gambling.

Euphoria of not gambling fades

We start to ask questions of ourselves: “Why can’t I
carry money if I want to?”; “Why can’t I buy a raffle
ticket?”; Why can’t I watch a big race on TV?”

Price of recovery is too high

This thinking can lead to tragedy. If we are to sustain
recovery, instead of resenting the disciplines we must
impose on ourselves, we should be rejoicing in the
many rewards that are ours – self-respect, peace of
mind, and a happy family life.

Enjoy your recovery

If you feel guilty, kick it out and replace it with
responsibility.
If you feel resentful, think about all the people
who have forgiven you and be thankful that you
were picked to be part of the miracle that is the
GA Recovery Programme.
Go on, enjoy it.

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Accept the illness for what it is
Compulsive gambling is an emotional illness,
which can never be cured but can be arrested,
one day at a time.
The compulsive gambler is dominated by an
irresistible urge to gamble. Coupled with this is the
obsessive idea that a way can be found, not only to
control the gambling, but to make it pay and enjoy it.
While gambling compulsively, we often express
a desire to stop forever but, inevitably, we find
ourselves back in action.
For most of us there are days, weeks or even months
when we are certain that we have gained control.
These intervals invariably are followed by long
periods of uncontrolled gambling, during which a
progressive deterioration in almost every department
of our lives becomes evident.
This deterioration is most acute in the relationships
with our wives and husbands, friends, relatives
and employers.
Therefore, acceptance of the progressive nature of
our illness is vital to enable us to recover and return
to a normal, productive and enjoyable life.

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Attend as many meetings as possible
There is a saying in GA: “Meetings make it.”
You may ask yourself: “make what?”
The answer is recovery. Meetings make it easier,
stronger and better.
The foundation of the Fellowship is its meetings.
By sharing our experience, strength and hope,
we believe you will find the inner strength necessary
to arrest your gambling on a daily basis.
We suggest that, in your first 90 days, you get as
many meetings in as possible. Not because you need
them more than us, but because the quicker you
come to terms with this illness, the better it will be
for you.
On entering GA, you will see evidence of a lifestyle
that is obviously very different from the one you
have been living. The more you see and begin to
understand this new way of living, the greater will
be the benefit to you and your family.
After their first 90 days, members usually settle into
to a routine.
This routine differs from member to member. Some
take part in many meetings per week, others only one.
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The choice is yours, but we have found that most
members attend more than one meeting a week.
You will find a level that you are comfortable with.
But remember: meetings make it.

Only carry money that you really need

You may find this suggestion hard to accept at this
moment, but believe us, there is a very good reason
for it.
In your first 90 days you are still finding your way,
still trying to come to terms with this illness and
beginning to realise that money has uses other than
for gambling, but you are still very vulnerable.
You have been made aware of the financial position
you (and your family) are in, and yet it is so easy
to fall into the old trap of believing once more that
gambling will solve your financial problems quickly
This dream is so much easier to believe if you have
excess money in your pockets.
In gambling, in our minds £10 often quickly became
£100, and £100 became £1,000 even more quickly.
Before we knew where we were, we were back on
the old merry-go-round once again.

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We have learned through experience not to put
ourselves through this temptation, but to use the
basic suggestions of GA and only carry money that
we really need for that day.
This suggestion serves another purpose for us.
If our families can see that we are really making an
effort and taking the basic advice, it puts their mind
at ease and things in the home begin to improve.
Again, through experience we have found that, with
the support of our families and of our GA meetings,
these early stages in our recovery can be very
pleasant and rewarding times.

Work out a budget with the help of GA

In most cases, it is financial pressures that finally
lead us to seek help within GA.
Many years of borrowing from banks, finance
companies, friends and relatives, create seemingly
insurmountable problems.
Initially, upon entering GA, it is necessary to
establish a sound financial budget, which allows
you to pay off debts at a rate you can afford.

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GA members, their partners and charities who offer
free debt advice, can be invaluable in helping you to
work out a budget as many of them have experience
of the same problems you now find yourself in.
They can advise you on how much you can afford
to repay, as trying to settle debts too quickly,
causing further financial pressures, can lead us
back to gambling.
It is surprising how quickly financial problems can
be solved, allowing you to concentrate on the more
difficult task of changing yourself.

Tell your partner everything

Another piece of advice we are given early in our
GA life is to wipe the slate clean (i.e. tell your
partner everything).
This can seem a horrendous task to the new member,
but, painful though it may be, it is essential that we
take this advice and apply it if we are to recover.
It is, however, truly amazing how this illness can
control us and warp our judgment.
Many members have told us of how, when their
gambling bubble burst and they were pouring out the

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terrible things they had done and the debts they
had incurred due to gambling, they would hold on
to one debt.
The excuses included embarrassment, shame, and
forgetfulness or, “I thought I could manage to pay it
myself”, or “I am really just too ashamed of this debt.”
We believe it is the illness keeping a hold on
its victim.
As long as a compulsive gambler has a secret debt,
he or she is keeping a ready-made excuse to gamble.
Our experience shows this to be true.
How can a realistic budget be planned or managed if
all the outgoings are not declared? How can a hidden
debt be paid without manipulating the cash available,
and more lying to cover this up?
Another reason for telling our partner everything
is that, in the early days of our recovery, we need
someone to handle our finances.
We will probably have a partner, family member,
a couple of members of our group and perhaps
charities who offer free debt advice to help work out
a budget, which again, our partner will hopefully be
able to manage.

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Make friends within the Fellowship
Most members, by the time they arrive at GA, have
suffered badly from the effects of their gambling.
These effects can be many and varied, but one of
the most common is a terrible feeling of loneliness.
Through years of gambling, we have put barriers
round ourselves, isolating us from family and friends.
We have come to believe that nobody could like us,
let alone love us, and this feeling drives us deeper
and deeper into our dreamworld.
After a short time in the Fellowship, if we are
following the advice we are given, a bit of order
comes back into our lives and our minds begin
to clear.
We come face to face with ourselves and we
don’t always like what we see.
It is at this time we need friends within the
Fellowship.
We need people who have faced similar problems
and hardships, who know what we are going through,
and with whom we can feel relaxed and comfortable,
to whom nothing we say is likely to shock or cause
embarrassment.

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When we stop gambling there is usually a great
void in our lives.
Friends in GA can help us fill that void.
They can help us to rebuild our social life
and, in the early days, it makes it easier if we
socialise in non-gambling company.
Making friends in GA can help you recover.
It also carries the bonus that you can help another
member to recover just by being a friend.

If you gamble, get to a meeting, text,

phone, or contact another member as
quickly as possible
As a fellowship of compulsive gamblers, it
is inevitable that some go back to gambling.
Unfortunately, there have been occasions when
members have found themselves in this position
and have never returned to the Fellowship.
Whether they felt ashamed or had a feeling that they
had let someone down, or for some other reason, it is
obvious that something kept them from returning.
Don’t let this happen to you. If (and we sincerely
hope you don’t) you slip and go back to gambling,

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get to a meeting, or contact another member as
quickly as possible.
No one will look upon you as a failure. No one will
say, you have let them down. We are there to help,
not judge.
It is a fact that GA meetings have many members
who, at some time, have gone back to gambling.
If they returned then they are the fortunate ones.
Most of them are living happy, contented lives,
free from gambling and the horrors that go with it.
The unfortunate ones are still out there, gambling
and suffering.
So, if you return to gambling (and we don’t apologise
for repeating this), don’t hesitate to get to a meeting
or contact another member as quickly as possible.

Tell your partner about Gam-Anon – it

could help them
Compulsive gamblers come from all walks of life.
They come in both sexes and they come in all ages.
We have no doubt that you, as a compulsive gambler,
will have someone close to you who is suffering as
a result of your gambling.

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With this in mind, we would like to give you a little
information on the sister fellowship of Gam-Anon.
Gam-Anon is quite separate from GA but
closely linked.
Members are wives, husbands, partners, parents,
family members and close friends of
compulsive gamblers.
Their suffering is quite different from that of the
gambler. They have no control over our gambling
whatsoever. When listening to Gam-Anon members
speak, we have found that their mood swings often
depended on the outcome of the gambler’s day
and, in many cases, their personality became so
suppressed that they became similar to the gambler.
Sadly, in cases where there once was love, there
remained only hate and bitterness.
Add to all this, confusion and a feeling of
hopelessness and you can see why they also need
help. Gam-Anon won’t stop your gambling, but
we have found, in our experience, that it has been
of help to have our partners recover and share
in our recovery.

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List of the headings in this booklet:
• Listen and learn
• U
 nderstand and apply The Twelve Step
Recovery Programme
• We cannot do it alone
• Stay away from the first bet – one day at a time
• Stop living in the past
• Fill the void
• Enjoy it
• Accept the illness for what it is
• Attend as many meetings as possible
• Only carry money that you really need
• Work out a budget with the help of GA
• Tell your partner everything
• Make friends within the Fellowship
• I f you gamble, get to a meeting, text, phone or
contact another member as quickly as possible
• T
 ell your partner about Gam-Anon – it can help
them.

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What is the GA Recovery Programme?
When compulsive gamblers apply The Twelve Steps
of Recovery in their lives, disintegration stops, and
unification begins. These steps are basically spiritual
in their concept and their practice can be highly
rewarding. These are the steps which are suggested
as a programme of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over gambling,
that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than
ourselves could restore us to a normal way
of thinking and living.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our
lives over to the care of this power of our
own understanding.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral and
financial inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human
being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have these defects of
character removed.
7. Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to
remove our shortcomings.
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8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and
became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever
possible, except when to do so would injure
them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when
we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to
improve our conscious contact with God
(as we understand Him), praying only for
knowledge of His will for us and the power
to carry that out.
12. Having made an effort to practise these
principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry
this message to other compulsive gamblers.
No one claims these steps are in any way original to
GA. They reflect practical experience and application
of spiritual insights, as recorded by thoughtful men
in many ages. Their greatest importance lies in the
fact that they work.
They enable us and thousands of others to lead happy,
productive lives. They represent the foundation upon
which our society has been built. They were given to
us freely, for which we are grateful.
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 God grant me the
serenity to accept the
things I cannot change…
Courage to change
the things I can…
and wisdom to
know the difference.

Gamblers Anonymous
England, Wales & Ulster
GA03 - APR 21

www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk
National Information Line: 0330 094 0322