COGNITIVE

DISTORTIONS
WORKBOOK
IDENTIFY YOUR
UNHELPFUL THINKING
PATTERNS
PRODUCED BY PRINTABLEWITHLISA
 COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS
RECOGNIZING UNHELPFUL THINKING
PATTERNS

Cognitive distortions are misleading or irrational ways of thinking that can lead to
negative emotions and behaviors. They are patterns of thinking that are
inaccurate, biased, or exaggerated, and can often contribute to anxiety,
depression, and other mental health issues. These distortions can influence how
we perceive and interpret our experiences, affecting our emotions and actions.

Cognitive distortions typically develop over time as a result of various factors,

including past experiences, upbringing, cultural influences, and personality traits.
They may arise from early childhood experiences, such as interactions with
caregivers or traumatic events, as well as ongoing beliefs and perceptions about
oneself, others, and the world.

These distorted thought patterns can impact mental health in several ways. They
can increase feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, leading to
negative self-talk and self-criticism. Cognitive distortions can also affect
relationships by influencing how we interpret and respond to others' words and
actions, leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, and social isolation.

Recognizing and challenging cognitive distortions are important steps in

promoting mental health and well-being. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is
a common therapeutic approach that helps individuals identify and reframe
these distorted thought patterns to improve mood, behavior, and overall
functioning. By challenging and replacing cognitive distortions with more
balanced and realistic thoughts, individuals can develop healthier perspectives
and coping strategies to navigate life's challenges effectively.

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 COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS
RECOGNIZING UNHELPFUL THINKING PATTERNS

1. All-or-nothing thinking: Seeing things in black-and-white terms, with no shades of

gray.
2. Overgeneralization: Drawing broad conclusions based on a single event or limited
information.
3. Mental filter: Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the
positive.
4. Discounting the positive: Believing that positive experiences or qualities are
insignificant or irrelevant.
5. Jumping to conclusions: Making assumptions about others' thoughts or intentions
without evidence.
6. Magnification and minimization: Exaggerating the importance of negative events and
downplaying positive ones.
7. Emotional reasoning: Believing that emotions reflect the true nature of reality.
8. "Should" statements: Holding rigid beliefs about how things "should" be, leading to
feelings of guilt or frustration.
9. Labeling: Using negative labels to describe oneself or others based on behavior or
perceived flaws.
10. Personalization: Taking responsibility for events that are beyond one's control.
11. Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst possible outcome in a given situation.
12. Control fallacies: Believing that one is either powerless or responsible for external
events.
13. Blaming: Holding others or oneself responsible for negative events without
considering external factors.
14. Fallacy of fairness: Assuming that life should be fair and just, leading to feelings of
resentment or anger.
15. Heaven's reward fallacy: Believing that hard work or sacrifice will be rewarded in an
idealized future.

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 COMMON COGNITIVE
DISTORTIONS

Mental Filter Jumping to Emotional

Conclusions Reasoning
Focusing on your failures Assuming that you know Believing that just because
while avoiding to see your what other people are you feel a certain way, then
success, or focusing only thinking. thinking that your
on the negatives of a Making negative thoughts must then be
situation whilst filtering predictions about the true. Thus, you base your
out the positives. future or what others view of situations, yourself,
think about you. or others, on the way you
are feeling.

Labeling Blaming Catastrophizing

Defining yourself and Placing the blame on other Only seeing the worst
others based on a single people instead of owning possible outcome of an
event or behavior, such as up to your mistakes or event or situation and then
reducing yourself or other sharing the responsibility. deciding that if this
people to a single, Taking on the victim outcome does happen, the
negative, characteristic or mentality. results will be a disaster.
descriptor, like “crazy” or Worries become escalated
“stupid.” and thoughts become
exaggerated.

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 COMMON COGNITIVE
DISTORTIONS

Overgeneralizing Black and White Should Statements

The process of concluding Seeing things as either Believing that things
that just because good or bad, right or should be a certain way.
something happened to wrong or all or nothing. Using 'should', 'must' or
you once before, it will You fail to see the whole 'ought' statements
occur over and over again. picture and by only seeing directed at yourself.
It is negative thinking black or white you ignore For example, “I should
based on only 1 or 2 the middle ground, have arrived to the
experiences. possible the more meeting earlier" or, “I must
The words "always" or reasonable ground. lose weight to be more
"never" appear frequently.
attractive.”

Personalization Fallacy of Change Fallacy of Fairness

You expect that other people
Taking things personally will change to suit you if you This cognitive distortion
and thinking that what just pressure or manipulate refers to measuring every
other people do is a result them enough. This distortion behavior and situation on a
of your own actions. You is usually accompanied by a scale of fairness.
may blame yourself for belief that your happiness and You believe that things
things that were totally success rests on other should be fair, and if they
out of your control. people, leading you to believe aren’t, then you believe it’s
For example, you blame that forcing those around you not your fault.
yourself for your child's to change is the only way to
bad grade at school. get what you want.

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 UNVEILING THE ROOTS OF COGNITIVE
DISTORTIONS: UNDERSTANDING THE INFLUENCE OF
PAST EXPERIENCES AND BELIEF SYSTEMS

Cognitive distortions are like optical illusions of the mind, leading individuals to perceive
reality in skewed and inaccurate ways. These distortions can impair our judgment, fuel
negative emotions, and hinder our ability to navigate life's challenges effectively. While
cognitive distortions may seem irrational or illogical, they often originate from deep-seated
roots in our past experiences, conditioning, and belief systems.

Influences on Cognitive Distortions:

Childhood Experiences: Our formative years play a crucial role in shaping our
1 cognitive patterns and beliefs. Childhood experiences of neglect, abuse, or
inconsistent validation can form the foundation for cognitive distortions such as 'All-
or-Nothing Thinking' or 'Catastrophizing.' For instance, a child who constantly
received criticism from caregivers may develop a distorted belief that they are
inherently flawed or unworthy of love and success.

Cultural and Social Influences: Our cultural background, societal norms, and
2 interpersonal relationships also contribute to the development of cognitive
distortions. Messages from media, societal expectations of success, and peer
comparisons can reinforce distorted beliefs about self-worth, body image,
achievement, and relationships. The pressure to conform to societal standards or
achieve unrealistic goals can fuel distortions like 'Labeling' or 'Mind Reading.'

Traumatic Events: Traumatic events, such as loss, betrayal, or accidents, can

3 significantly impact our cognitive processes and lead to the development of
distorted thinking patterns as a coping mechanism. Individuals who have
experienced trauma may engage in 'Selective Abstraction,' focusing only on negative
events or outcomes, while dismissing positive aspects of their lives.

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 UNVEILING THE ROOTS OF COGNITIVE
DISTORTIONS: UNDERSTANDING THE INFLUENCE OF
PAST EXPERIENCES AND BELIEF SYSTEMS

Family Dynamics: Family dynamics, communication patterns, and parental

4 modeling of behavior can shape our cognitive filters and predispose us to certain
types of distortions. Growing up in a household where conflict is avoided or
emotions are suppressed may contribute to the development of 'Emotional
Reasoning' or 'Personalization,' where individuals internalize negative events and
blame themselves for external circumstances beyond their control.

REFLECTION - What do you think has influenced your unhelpful thinking patterns?
5

Understanding the roots of cognitive distortions involves tracing the intricate web of past
experiences, cultural influences, traumas, and interpersonal dynamics that shape our
perception of reality. By uncovering these underlying factors and working towards
reframing distorted beliefs through self-awareness, introspection, and therapeutic
interventions, individuals can begin to untangle the knots of irrational thinking and
embrace a more grounded, empowering view of themselves and their experiences.

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 AUTOMATIC THOUGHT RECORD

Automatic thoughts are the spontaneous and often unconscious thoughts that pop into our
minds in response to different situations or triggers. These thoughts are usually connected
to our underlying beliefs, biases, and past experiences. Automatic thoughts can be either
positive or negative and can greatly influence our emotions, behaviors, and overall well-
being.

One way to become more aware of these automatic thoughts and their impact is to keep a
diary focusing on them. By recording your thoughts in a diary, you can start to identify
patterns and recurring themes in your thinking. This can help you recognize any negative or
distorted thoughts that may be contributing to feelings of anxiety, depression, or low self-
esteem.

Keeping a diary of your automatic thoughts can also help you better understand the
connection between your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. When you notice a pattern of
negative automatic thoughts in certain situations, you can begin to challenge and reframe
those thoughts. By actively working to replace negative thoughts with more realistic and
balanced ones, you can start to change your emotional reactions and behaviors in those
situations.

Having a record of your automatic thoughts can give you a sense of control and
empowerment. It allows you to take a step back and analyze your thought process
objectively, rather than being overwhelmed by emotions in the moment. This self-
awareness can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-improvement.

In summary, keeping a diary of your automatic thoughts can be a valuable tool for
increasing self-awareness, recognizing unhelpful thought patterns, and making positive
changes to your emotions and behaviors. By becoming more mindful of your thought
processes and actively working to shift negative thinking patterns, you can cultivate a more
positive and balanced mental outlook.

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 AUTOMATIC THOUGHT RECORD

Automatic Emotions New adaptive Intensity of my

Date Situation My response
thought I felt response automatic thought

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
1 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
MENTAL FILTER
The cognitive distortion of mental filter involves focusing on your failures while
avoiding to see your successes, or focusing only on the negatives of a situation while
filtering out the positives. This skewed perception of reality can have a significant
impact on our mood, self-esteem, and overall well-being.

Examples of Mental Filter

1. Social Media Comparison

You scroll through social media and see posts of your friends and acquaintances
showcasing their achievements, vacations, and happy moments. Instead of
recognizing your own accomplishments and positive experiences, you only fixate on
what you perceive as lacking in your own life, feeling inadequate and envious.

2. Physical Appearance:
You receive compliments from friends and family about your appearance, but one
passing comment about your outfit not being trendy enough sticks with you.
Despite receiving overall positive feedback, you focus solely on that one criticism,
leading to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.

Recognizing when you are engaging in mental filtering is the first step towards
overcoming this cognitive distortion. By actively challenging yourself to see the
whole picture, recognize your achievements alongside setbacks, and reframe
negative thoughts into balanced perspectives, you can cultivate a healthier mindset
and boost your overall mental well-being.

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 MENTAL FILTER REFLECTIVE
QUESTIONS

1 Am I filtering out my successes and focusing solely on my failures or shortcomings in

this situation?

2 How might my perspective change if I consciously acknowledged and appreciated the

positives alongside the negatives?

3 How does my mental filtering impact my emotions and self-perception, and how can I
challenge this biased focus?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
2 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Jumping to conclusions is a cognitive distortion in which individuals make negative

interpretations or assumptions about events or interactions without sufficient
evidence. This tendency can lead to unnecessary stress, misunderstandings, and
distorted perceptions of reality.

Examples of Jumping To Conclusions

1. Workplace Misinterpretation:
You see your boss having a serious conversation with a colleague behind closed
doors. Without concrete information, you immediately assume they are discussing
your performance or potential layoffs. This assumption leads to heightened anxiety
and decreased work performance, causing unnecessary stress.

2. Relationship Assumptions:
Your partner forgets to send a goodnight text one evening. Instead of considering
the possibility that they might be busy or tired, you jump to the conclusion that they
are losing interest in the relationship or are mad at you. This unfounded assumption
can lead to conflicts and unnecessary strain on the relationship.

By becoming more aware of the tendency to jump to conclusions and consciously

challenging these automatic negative thoughts, individuals can cultivate more
balanced and accurate perspectives. By approaching situations with an open mind,
seeking clarification when needed, and reframing assumptions with evidence-based
reasoning, one can reduce stress, enhance communication, and improve overall well-
being.

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 JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 Am I jumping to conclusions without solid evidence, and how is this impacting my

thoughts and emotions in this situation?

2 What other interpretations or explanations could exist that I may not have considered
before jumping to conclusions?

3 How can I practice patience and gather more information before drawing conclusions
to avoid unnecessary stress and misunderstandings?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
3 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
EMOTIONAL REASONING

Emotional reasoning is a cognitive distortion in which individuals believe that it must

be true because they feel a certain way. This distortion involves making decisions or
judgments based on emotions rather than objective facts or reality. It can lead to
irrational beliefs, distorted perceptions, and unhelpful behaviors.

Examples of Emotional Reasoning

1. Self-Perception distortion:
You receive critical feedback at work and start feeling like a failure. You begin
thinking, "I feel like a failure, so I must be incompetent." This emotional reasoning can
lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence, even if the feedback was specific to a
particular task and not a reflection of your overall abilities.

2. Relationship Assumption:
When your friend cancels plans at the last minute, you immediately feel hurt and
rejected. You start believing, "I feel rejected, so they must not value our friendship."
This emotional reasoning can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships
without considering other possible reasons for the cancellation.

Recognizing when emotional reasoning is at play and actively questioning the

validity of emotions as evidence can help individuals make more rational and
balanced decisions. By practicing mindfulness, seeking objective information, and
challenging irrational beliefs rooted in emotions, one can develop a healthier mindset
and improve overall well-being.

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 EMOTIONAL REASONING
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How are my emotions influencing my beliefs and decisions in this situation, and are they
based on facts or assumptions?

2 What evidence can I gather to support or challenge my emotional reasoning before

drawing conclusions?

3 How can I separate my emotions from the facts and consider alternative perspectives
to avoid falling into the trap of emotional reasoning?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
4 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
LABELLING

Labeling is a cognitive distortion where individuals attach negative labels to

themselves or others based on isolated actions or traits. This distortion involves
making sweeping generalizations and believing that these labels define the entirety
of a person's character or worth. Labeling can lead to low self-esteem, strained
relationships, and distorted perceptions of reality.

Examples of Labeling

1. Self-Criticism:
You make a mistake at work and immediately label yourself as "stupid" or
"incompetent." This self-labeling can lead to a cycle of negative self-talk and erode
your self-confidence, affecting your performance and well-being.

2. Judging Others:
A friend forgets to return a borrowed item, and you label them as "irresponsible" or
"thoughtless." This labeling can create unnecessary tension in the relationship and
prevent you from understanding the reasons behind their actions.

Acknowledging the harmful effects of labeling and practicing self-compassion and

empathy can help individuals navigate interpersonal dynamics and cultivate a more
positive self-image. By reframing negative labels, focusing on individual actions
rather than overarching judgments, and fostering a culture of acceptance and
growth, one can break free from the limitations imposed by cognitive distortions like
labeling.

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 LABELING
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How have labels, whether self-imposed or directed at others, influenced my

perceptions and interactions?

2 What impact do these labels have on my self-esteem and relationships, and are they
based on a holistic view or biased assumptions?

3 How can I challenge and reframe these labels to cultivate a more compassionate and
understanding perspective of myself and others?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
5 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
BLAMING

Blaming is a cognitive distortion where individuals attribute the responsibility for

their problems or failures to external factors rather than taking ownership. This
distortion involves shifting the focus away from personal accountability and seeking
easy explanations by blaming others, circumstances, or events. Blaming can hinder
personal growth, strain relationships, and perpetuate a victim mentality.

Examples of Blaming

1. Team Project:
During a group project at work or school, when things do not go as planned, instead
of taking responsibility for their part, someone blames their colleagues for the
shortcomings. This blaming behavior can lead to resentment among team members
and hinder collaboration.

2. Relationship Issues:
In a romantic relationship, one partner may constantly blame their significant other
for their own unhappiness or frustrations, without considering their own role in the
dynamic. This blaming can create a toxic environment and prevent open
communication and conflict resolution.

By fostering self-awareness, practicing accountability, and reframing the impulse to

blame into an opportunity for self-reflection and growth, individuals can break free
from the negative cycle of cognitive distortions like blaming. Embracing a mindset of
empowerment and resilience can help navigate difficulties with a clearer
perspective, fostering personal development and healthier interactions with others.

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 BLAMING
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How often do I find myself resorting to blaming others or external circumstances

when faced with challenges or setbacks?

2 What deeper emotions or insecurities might be underlying my tendency to shift blame

rather than taking ownership of my actions?

3 In what ways can I cultivate a mindset of accountability and learn from past
experiences to foster personal development and healthier relationships?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
6 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
CATASTROPHIZING

Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion where individuals magnify minor issues or

events, blowing them out of proportion and imagining the worst-case scenario in a
situation. This negative thinking pattern can lead to increased anxiety, stress, and
irrational fear, often causing unnecessary distress and worry.

Examples of catastrophizing

1. Job Interview:
Before a job interview, someone engaging in catastrophizing might imagine
scenarios where they completely bomb the interview, fail to articulate their
thoughts, and end up unemployed for a long time. This catastrophic thinking can
elevate their stress levels and impact their performance during the actual interview.

2. Health Issue:
When experiencing minor physical symptoms like a headache or stomachache,
someone prone to catastrophizing may immediately jump to conclusions that they
have a serious illness or medical condition. This exaggerated worry and fear can lead
to unnecessary panic, affecting their overall well-being.

By becoming aware of tendencies to catastrophize, individuals can work towards

challenging these exaggerated beliefs and replacing them with more realistic and
balanced perspectives. Practicing mindfulness, reframing negative thoughts, and
cultivating a sense of resilience can help individuals navigate uncertainties with a
clearer mind and reduced anxiety, fostering a healthier mental state and overall well-
being.

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 CATASTROPHIZING
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How often do I catch myself exaggerating the potential negative outcomes of a

situation, leading to increased anxiety or stress?

2 What impact does catastrophizing have on my mental health and overall outlook on
life, and how can I reframe my thinking to focus on more realistic and balanced
perspectives?

3 In what ways can I practice mindfulness and grounding techniques to stay present
and rational when faced with uncertainties or challenges, rather than spiraling into
catastrophic thoughts?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
7 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
OVERGENERALIZING

Overgeneralizing is a cognitive distortion where individuals draw broad conclusions

based on limited or isolated incidents, extending these conclusions to apply to
broader aspects of life. This distorted thinking pattern can lead to negative self-
perceptions, distorted beliefs about others, and hindered problem-solving abilities.

Examples of Overgeneralizing

1. Social Interaction:
After a single awkward interaction with a colleague at work, someone prone to
overgeneralizing may conclude that they are unlikeable and incapable of forming
meaningful connections with anyone. This generalized belief can impact their
confidence in future social interactions, leading to avoidance or anxiety.

2. Exercise Routine:
If someone misses a day of their workout routine, they might overgeneralize this
lapse as evidence of their lack of discipline or inability to stick to a healthy lifestyle.
This negative self-assessment can hinder their motivation to continue their fitness
journey, as they believe one setback defines their ability to maintain habits.

Recognizing the tendency to overgeneralize is the first step towards fostering a

more flexible and accurate worldview. By challenging these distorted beliefs,
seeking out diverse experiences, and reframing negative self-assessments,
individuals can cultivate resilience, develop more nuanced perspectives, and
enhance their problem-solving skills. Embracing a growth mindset and practicing
self-compassion can help individuals navigate setbacks with greater confidence and
perspective, facilitating personal growth and positive well-being.

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 OVERGENERALIZING
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 In what areas of my life do I tend to overgeneralize based on limited experiences, and

how does this impact my self-perception and interactions with others?

2 How can I challenge overgeneralizations by seeking out contradictory evidence,

considering exceptions to my broad conclusions, and reframing my beliefs to be more
realistic and balanced?

3 What strategies can I implement to cultivate a growth mindset and acknowledge that
setbacks or failures in specific situations do not define my overall capabilities or worth
as an individual?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
8 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
BLACK AND WHITE THINKINGS
Black-and-white thinking, also known as dichotomous thinking or all-or-nothing
thinking, is a cognitive distortion characterized by viewing situations, people, or
oneself in absolute terms of either "good" or "bad," with no room for gray areas or
complexity. This type of thinking can lead to emotional distress, rigid perspectives,
and difficulties in problem-solving and decision-making.

Examples of Black and White Thinking

1. Relationships:
If a friend cancels plans once, someone prone to black-and-white thinking may
perceive this behavior as a sign of betrayal or lack of care. They might jump to the
conclusion that their friend is unreliable and not a true friend, without considering
the possibility of other factors affecting the situation.

2. Work Performance:
An employee who receives constructive criticism on a project may perceive this
feedback as a complete failure, viewing themselves as incompetent or inadequate.
This all-or-nothing thinking can lead to feelings of demotivation and self-blame,
hindering their ability to learn from the feedback and improve their performance.

Recognizing the inclination towards black-and-white thinking is essential for

fostering resilience, adaptability, and healthier relationships with oneself and others.
By challenging these rigid beliefs, exploring alternative interpretations, and
embracing shades of gray in one's perspective, individuals can navigate challenges
with greater flexibility and emotional intelligence.

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 BLACK AND WHITE THINKING
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How does black-and-white thinking impact my emotions and behaviors in various

aspects of my life, such as relationships, work, and self-perception?

2 What evidence can I seek to challenge the rigid beliefs stemming from black-and-
white thinking, and how can I practice a more nuanced and balanced perspective in
interpreting situations?

3 In what ways can I cultivate tolerance for ambiguity and shades of gray in my thinking,
acknowledging that most situations and individuals are complex and multifaceted
rather than purely black or white?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
9 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
SHOULD STATEMENTS
"Should" statements are a type of cognitive distortion where individuals impose rigid
and unrealistic expectations on themselves or others. These statements often
reflect rules and demands about how things "should" be, leading to feelings of
frustration, guilt, and self-criticism when reality does not align with these rigid
beliefs.

Examples of Should Statements

1. Personal Health:
A person may often use "should" statements when it comes to their health habits. For
instance, they might think, "I should exercise every day," or "I shouldn't eat any
sweets." When they inevitably miss a day of exercise or give in to a craving, they may
feel guilty and berate themselves for not meeting their self-imposed expectations.

2. Work Expectations:
In a workplace setting, an individual might think, "My boss should recognize my hard
work without me having to remind them," or "My colleagues should always
appreciate my contributions." When their efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated,
they could feel resentful and disheartened, leading to a negative work environment.

Recognizing and addressing the prevalence of "should" statements in one's thoughts

is a crucial step toward developing greater self-awareness and resilience. By
practicing self-compassion, setting realistic expectations, and reframing rigid beliefs
into more flexible and empowering narratives, individuals can nurture a healthier
relationship with themselves and others.

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 SHOULD STATEMENTS
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How do my "should" statements impact my mental health and well-being, particularly in

terms of setting unrealistic expectations for myself or others?

2 What underlying beliefs drive my tendency to use "should" statements, and how can I
challenge these beliefs to foster a more compassionate and realistic mindset?

3 In what ways can I reframe my language and thoughts from "should" to more flexible
and constructive statements that are motivated by choice and self-compassion rather
than obligation and criticism?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
10 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
PERSONALIZATION
Personalization is a cognitive distortion where individuals attribute external events or
others' behaviors to themselves without valid reasons. This distortion involves taking
undue responsibility for things that are beyond their control, leading to feelings of guilt,
self-blame, and a distorted sense of self-worth.

Examples of Personalization

1. Social Interactions:
Imagine a scenario where a friend cancels plans to hang out due to feeling unwell.
Someone prone to personalization may automatically assume, "They canceled because
they don't enjoy spending time with me; I must have done something wrong." This
individual internalizes their friend's actions and interprets them as a reflection of their
worth, even though the real reason behind the cancellation may have nothing to do with
them.

2. Work Dynamics:
In a workplace setting, a team project might not meet the desired outcome, leading to
repercussions within the team. An employee susceptible to personalization may
immediately think, "It's my fault that the project failed; I must not have contributed enough
or done my part correctly." This individual internalizes the team's failure as a reflection of
their own capabilities, disregarding the complex factors that could have contributed to the
project's outcome.

Recognizing and addressing personalization is crucial for fostering a healthier sense

of self-esteem and relationships with others. By engaging in introspection, seeking
feedback from trusted individuals, and reframing situations to consider various
perspectives and external factors, individuals can gradually overcome the negative
impact of personalization.

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 PERSONALIZATION
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How does personalization affect my self-perception and relationships with others,

especially in situations where I tend to take undue responsibility for external events or
others' behaviors?

2 What evidence do I have to support my tendency to personalize situations, and how

can I challenge these assumptions to cultivate a more realistic and self-compassionate
perspective?

3 In what ways can I practice self-kindness and differentiate between what is within my
control and what is outside of my influence to prevent falling into the trap of
personalization and self-blame?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
11 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
FALLACY OF CHANGE
The fallacy of change is a cognitive distortion in which individuals believe that they can
change others' beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors through sheer willpower or effort, even
when evidence suggests otherwise. This distortion often leads to frustration,
disappointment, and a sense of powerlessness when individuals realize they cannot
control or influence others as much as they hoped.

Examples of Fallacy of Change

1. Relationship Dynamics:. Consider a situation where someone is in a relationship with a

partner who has certain habits or behaviors that they find problematic. The individual may
convince themselves, "If I love them enough or show them how much their behavior is
hurting me, they will change." This belief in the power to change their partner's
fundamental traits overlooks the complexity of human behavior and may lead to ongoing
conflicts and resentment.

2. **Workplace Environment: In a professional setting, an employee might witness a

colleague consistently engaging in behavior that disrupts teamwork or hinders
productivity. Despite offering constructive feedback or guidance, the employee maintains
the belief, "If I keep pushing them to change or set a better example, they will eventually
improve." This persistent effort to change a colleague's behavior disregards the colleague's
autonomy and the fact that genuine change often stems from intrinsic motivation and
self-awareness.

Addressing the fallacy of change involves acknowledging the limitations of one's

influence over others, setting boundaries, and directing efforts towards personal
growth, effective communication, and building healthier relationships based on
mutual respect and understanding.

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 FALLACY OF CHANGE
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How does holding onto the fallacy of change impact my relationships with others and
my mental well-being, especially when I feel frustrated or defeated by my inability to
influence someone else's behavior or beliefs?

2
What emotional and cognitive investments am I making in trying to change others,
and how does this distract me from fostering acceptance, understanding, and healthy
boundaries in my interactions?

3 In what ways can I shift my focus from attempting to change others to focusing on
setting realistic expectations, boundaries, and communication strategies that align with
my values and well-being? How can I practice acceptance and mindfulness in
challenging situations where acceptance might be the healthier choice?

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 UNDERSTANDING THE
12 COGNITIVE DISTORTION OF
FALLACY OF FAIRNESS

The fallacy of fairness is a cognitive distortion in which individuals believe that life
should be inherently fair and just, leading to feelings of resentment, frustration, and
disappointment when faced with perceived injustices or unequal outcomes. This
distortion often stems from unrealistic expectations and can hinder personal
growth, resilience, and acceptance of life's inherent complexities.

Examples of Fallacy of Fairness

1. Workplace Scenarios: Imagine a situation where two colleagues are assigned

similar tasks, but one receives praise and recognition while the other's efforts go
unnoticed. The individual who feels overlooked may think, "It's not fair that I
worked just as hard but didn't receive the same recognition." This focus on
comparative fairness overlooks factors such as individual strengths, timing, and
organizational dynamics that influence outcomes in the workplace.

2. Social Relationships: In friendships or romantic partnerships, someone may

expect equal effort, support, and reciprocity from their loved ones at all times. When
they perceive imbalance or lack of fairness in communication, emotional investment,
or decision-making, they may feel resentful and question the authenticity of the
relationship. This belief that relationships should always be completely fair and
balanced disregards the ebb and flow of human connections and individual needs.

Challenging the fallacy of fairness involves acknowledging the inherent

unpredictability of life, recognizing individual differences and circumstances that
influence outcomes, and cultivating empathy, resilience, and gratitude for the diverse
experiences and perspectives that shape human interactions.

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 FALLACY OF FAIRNESS
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

1 How does my fixation on the fallacy of fairness impact my emotional well-being and
relationships with others, especially when I feel resentful or disillusioned by perceived
injustices or unequal treatment?

2 In what ways can I reframe my expectations around fairness to focus on personal

growth, resilience, and gratitude for the richness and diversity of experiences life offers,
rather than a rigid adherence to the notion of fairness as absolute equality?

3 What opportunities for learning and self-awareness arise when I embrace life's
unpredictability and complexities, nurturing a mindset of acceptance, adaptability, and
compassion towards myself and others even in moments of perceived unfairness or
adversity?

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 FACT OR OPINION?

FACT A truth known by an experience or observation. Something that is known to be

true. For example, the planet is round; it is spherical in shape.

OPINION Someone's view or judgment of someone or something is only sometimes based

on knowledge or fact.
Even though we know the difference between facts and opinions, in times of emotional distress,
such as when we feel anxious, the rational part of our brain gets 'taken' over by the emotional
part of the brain. In these times, our brains can have difficulty differentiating the difference
between facts and opinions.
With more practice, you can help yourself become more robust and better at identifying the
difference between the two.

No-body likes me FACT OPINION

I'm going to fail my presentation

The doctor called me in because they have bad news

My boyfriend is going to break up with me

My friends are all talking behind my back

I'm a total failure

I'll never be able to get a job

There are rumors going around about me

My teacher is picking on me

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 PUTTING THOUGHTS
ON TRAIL

THE THOUGHT What am I worrying about?

THE DEFENCE THE PROSECUTION

Do I have any evidence that my thought Do I have any evidence that my thought
could be true? - They must be facts. could not be true? - They must be facts.

THE JUDGE'S VERDICT

When I look at all of the evidence, can I decide whether my thought is likely to
come true or not?

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 REFRAMING THOUGHTS

Our thoughts determine our behavior. Therefore, it is

essential to have positive thoughts. Try and change negative
thinking into more positive, productive thinking.

Instead of.. Try..

Everyone is going to stare People might look at me

at me because they like my outfit

What if I make a mistake

I wont know anyone at the

party

I don't want to do this

No body at school likes me

I am a failure

I am going to come last

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 WHAT IF????
Often when we have an anxious thought, we attach it with "what if?" for example,
"what if I fail my test" "what if the doctor has bad news," 'what if I'm late." When doing
this, we predict a terrible situation and fail to see any other possible outcomes. If you
find yourself saying "What if, "catch your thought and think of a positive "what if"
situation instead.

NEGATIVE WHAT POSITIVE WHAT

IF?...... IF?......

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 DECATASTROPHIZING

What am I worried about?

When I think about all the evidence and my past experiences, how likely is it that this
worry will actually come true?

If my worry does come true, what is the worst possible outcome?

If my worry does come true, what is likely to happen? How will it affect me?

Will this worry matter tomorrow, next week, in a month or even in a years
time?

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